时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | We never should have landed a man on the moon. | 我们就不应该 把人类弄到月球上去! |
[00:05] | It’s a mistake. | 这是个错误 |
[00:06] | Now everything is compared to that one accomplishment. | 现在什么东西都得 和那项成就作比较 |
[00:09] | Everybody goes, “l can’T believe they can land a man on the moon… | 所有人都说:“我简直不敢相信 他们居然登陆月球了… |
[00:12] | …and taste my coffee.” | 还敢喝我的咖啡” |
[00:14] | We would’ve been happier if we hadn’T landed a man on the moon. | 如果我们没有登陆月球 现在该有多开心 |
[00:17] | We’d go, “They can’T make a prescription bottle that’ll open easily? | 我们会说:“他们就不能把药瓶儿 弄得好开些么? |
[00:21] | I’m not surprised they couldn’T land on the moon. Things make perfect sense.” | 怪不得他们不能登陆月球呢 这完全合乎情理” |
[00:26] | Neil Armstrong should’ve said, “That’s one small step for man… | 尼尔・阿姆斯特朗应该这么说: “对于一个人来说这只是一小步 |
[00:29] | …one giant leap for every whining, complaining SOB on the Earth.” | 对于地球上那些只知道抱怨的傻X们 |
[00:34] | -=The Last Fantasy=- | 这可是一大飞跃” |
[00:35] | “聚会” “聚餐风波” | |
[00:40] | Hey, do you believe I got “Happy New Year’d” today? | 嘿,你相信不 我今天被祝“新年快乐”了 |
[00:43] | It’s February. | 都二月了 |
[00:44] | I once got “Happy New Year’d” in March. | 还有人在三月的时候 跟我说“新年快乐”呢 |
[00:47] | – It’s disgusting. – It’s pathetic. | – 太恶心了 – 真可悲 |
[00:51] | – Hey, is it cold out? – Really cold. | 对了,外边冷么? 特别冷 |
[00:53] | – Scary cold? – What’s your definition of scary cold? | 刺骨的冷? 你对“刺骨”的定义是什么? |
[00:58] | Hi. | 嗨! |
[01:04] | That. | 那样… |
[01:07] | What is that? | 这是搞什么啊? |
[01:10] | – What? – When did you get that? | – 怎么了? – 你什么时候搞到那么件衣服的? |
[01:12] | This week. My father got a deal from a friend of his. | 这周,我爸爸和他一个朋友 谈成一笔生意 |
[01:16] | It’s Gore- Tex. | 这可是高泰克斯料的 (一种防水防风的新材料) |
[01:18] | You know about Gore- Tex? | 你们知道高泰克斯是什么吗? |
[01:20] | You like saying Gore- Tex, don’T you? | 你总爱说“高泰克斯”不是么? |
[01:22] | Look at you. You can’T even turn around in that thing. | 看看你自己 穿着那个东西你连转身都做不了 |
[01:26] | Look at this. | 瞧 |
[01:29] | Hey, George, can you feel this? Can you- – ? | 嘿,乔治,你感觉得到么,能么? |
[01:33] | All right, all right! Knock it off. | 好了好了!停! |
[01:36] | Come on, let’s go. | 来,咱们走 |
[01:38] | We should stop off on the way and get a bottle of wine or something. | 我们得在路上停一会儿 买点红酒什么的 |
[01:41] | What for? | 干嘛用的? |
[01:43] | These people invited us for dinner. We have to bring something. | 有人请咱们赴宴 我们总得带点东西吧 |
[01:46] | Why? | 为什么? |
[01:48] | Because it’s rude otherwise. | 不然会显得很没礼貌 |
[01:52] | You mean just going there because I’m invited… | 你的意思是 我因为被邀请而去那里 |
[01:54] | – …that’s rude? – Yes. | – 很没礼貌? – 对 |
[01:56] | You’re telling me, instead of them being happy to see me… | 你是说,他们非但不会 因为我去了而高兴 |
[01:59] | …they’ll be upset because I didn’T bring anything. | 反而会因为我什么都没带而失望? |
[02:01] | You see what I’m saying? | 你明白我的意思吗? |
[02:03] | The fabric of society is very complex, George. | 现实社会是很复杂的 |
[02:06] | I don’T even drink wine. I drink Pepsi. | 我又不喝酒,我只喝百事 |
[02:10] | You can’T bring Pepsi. | 可你不能带百事去啊 |
[02:12] | Why not? | 为什么不行? |
[02:14] | Because we’re adults. | 因为我们成年了 |
[02:16] | What, you’re telling me that wine is better than Pepsi? | 什么,你觉得酒比百事好? |
[02:19] | No way wine is better than Pepsi. | 酒绝对不可能比百事好! |
[02:22] | George, I don’T think we wanna walk in there… | 乔治,我不认为我们会希望走进去 |
[02:25] | …and put a big plastic jug of Pepsi in the middle of the table. | 然后在桌子正中间放上一大塑料瓶 百事可乐 |
[02:28] | I don’T like the idea that any time there’s a dinner invitation… | 我最不喜欢的就是每次有晚餐邀请 |
[02:31] | …there’s this annoying little chore. | 就会有这种不愉快的事发生 |
[02:34] | You’re getting to be an annoying little chore yourself. | 你自己就快变成一件不愉快的事了 |
[02:38] | All right, let’s go. Who’s driving? | 好了,咱们走吧,谁开车? |
[02:41] | You are. I can’T get that thing in my car. | 你来开,我可没办法 把那玩意儿塞进我车里 |
[02:46] | Where’s the heat in this car? Come on. Warm me up. | – 车里的暖气在哪儿? – 来,温暖我吧 |
[02:49] | – It’s cold. Give us a little squeeze. – Get off of me. | – 太冷了,抱紧我 – 走开点 |
[02:51] | Get off of- – Get off of me. | 走开,走开走开 |
[02:55] | You’re comfortable up there, bubble boy. | 泡泡男孩儿,你坐那儿很舒服吧 |
[02:57] | Oh, yeah. You wish you had this coat. | 当然,你可想要这件衣服了吧 |
[03:01] | I was just thinking, the four of us can’T show up… | 我在想哦,我们4个不能 |
[03:03] | – …with just one bottle of wine. – Oh, here we go. | 只带一瓶酒出席吧 咱们应该这样 |
[03:06] | – What? – Why don’T we get them a couch. | – 怎么? – 干嘛不直接抬张沙发去 |
[03:08] | We’ll rent a U- Haul. We’ll bring them a nice sectional. | 租个拖车,给他们带个漂亮的组合 |
[03:11] | We should bring some cake. Will you stop off at the bakery? | 我们应该带点蛋糕过去 在蛋糕店停一会儿 |
[03:15] | Why don’T you just get some Ring Dings from the liquor store. | 你干嘛不就在小酒吧里 买点小甜饼完事得了 |
[03:18] | Ring Dings? | 小甜饼? |
[03:20] | Ring Dings are better than anything at a bakery. | 小甜饼比蛋糕店里 任何东西都好吃 |
[03:22] | I like Ring Dings. | 我爱死小甜饼了 |
[03:24] | George, you can’T show up at someone’s house… | 乔治,我们不能去别人家吃饭 |
[03:26] | …with Ring Dings and Pepsi. | 却只带着小甜饼和百事 |
[03:29] | Hey, your lights are on! | 喂,你的灯亮着呢 |
[03:33] | It’s a funeral procession. | 那是支殡葬队伍 |
[03:37] | I got news for you. I show up with Ring Dings and Pepsi… | 让我来告诉你,我带着小甜饼 和百事可乐出现在大家面前 |
[03:40] | …I’m the hit of the party. | 瞬间就会成为派对的焦点! |
[03:41] | People would be coming up, “Between you and me… | 大家都会对我说:“偷偷告诉你 |
[03:44] | …I’m really excited about the Ring Dings and the Pepsi.” | 我很高兴你带了小甜饼和百事来” |
[03:47] | What are we, Europeans, with the Beaujolais and the chardonnay? | 你以为我们是什么,欧洲人? 不如带薄酒来和霞多利(均为葡萄酒)吧 |
[03:51] | Oh, Kramer, that’s the bakery. Stop here. Stop here. | 噢,克莱默,那儿有家蛋糕店 在这儿停,就这儿 |
[03:53] | – All right. – Okay, let me out. | – 行 – 好,让我下车 |
[03:55] | – You, whatever your name is. – Jerry. | – 你,你叫什么来着 – 杰瑞 |
[03:57] | Yeah, Jerry. Come with me. | 对,杰瑞,跟我来 |
[03:59] | We’ll get the wine, pick you up here in 1 0 minutes? | 我们去拿酒 十分钟以后在这儿接你们? |
[04:01] | – Yeah. – All right. | – 对 – 好 |
[04:07] | I love the smell of bakeries. | 我真是喜欢蛋糕店的味道啊 |
[04:08] | Look, Elaine, the black- and- white cookie. | 瞧,伊莲,黑白曲奇 |
[04:11] | I love the black- and- white. | 我爱死黑白曲奇了! |
[04:13] | Two races of flavor living side by side in harmony. | 两个种族的味道和谐地交融在一起 |
[04:17] | It’s a wonderful thing, isn’T it? | 太棒了,是吧? |
[04:19] | You know, I often wonder what you’ll be like when you’re senile. | 你知道吗,我经常很想知道 你老了是什么样子 |
[04:24] | – I’m looking forward to it. – Yeah. It’ll be a very smooth transition. | – 我很期待啊 – 嗯,对你来说这将是个很平和的转变 |
[04:27] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[04:29] | All right. What are we getting? | 好了,咱们究竟买点什么? |
[04:31] | Chocolate babka. That’s their specialty. | 巧克力巴布卡,这家店的招牌蛋糕 |
[04:33] | – Love that babka. – Yeah, yeah. | – 我喜欢巴布卡 – 耶耶 |
[04:36] | But listen. Elaine, when we get up to the door… | 不过,伊莲 当我们走到门口时 |
[04:39] | …you hold the cake box. | 你来拿蛋糕盒 |
[04:41] | – Why? – I don’T know. | – 为什么 – 不知道 |
[04:42] | Just standing there with a box, holding it by the little string…. | 站在那儿,牵条小细绳儿 提着个盒子 |
[04:47] | – You think it’s effeminate? – It’s a tad dainty. | – 你觉得这样太娘娘腔? – 那都是小孩子爱吃的东西 |
[04:52] | Oh, we forgot to pick a number. | 天啊,我们忘记拿号码牌了 |
[04:54] | See, that’s not fair. We were here ahead of all these people. | 看到了么,这一点都不公平 我们比那些人早来多了 |
[04:58] | You think I should go and ask her for hers? | 你觉得我应该去找那个女人 要她的牌儿吗? |
[05:00] | – No, forget it. – No, no, no. It’s not fair. | – 算了吧 – 不行,不能算,这不公平 |
[05:02] | Just because they have a ticket doesn’T mean they were here first. | 仅仅因为他们有张牌儿 不代表他们早到啊 |
[05:06] | We were ahead of them and them and her. | 我们比他们先,还有他们,她… |
[05:08] | Come on, let’s just go ask them. Come on. | 来吧,咱们就该问他们要,走 |
[05:12] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
[05:14] | Well, I’m not finding a spot here. | 我找不着停车位 |
[05:17] | What do you wanna do? | 你觉得该怎么办? |
[05:19] | – Just double- park. – No. | – 就停在他们旁边 – 不成 |
[05:20] | – Why not? – I’ll get a ticket. | – 为什么不行? – 我会被罚款的 |
[05:22] | What if somebody wants to get out of here? | 再说,如果有人正好想 从这儿出来怎么办? |
[05:24] | People get spaces this good, they never give them up. | 搞笑了,能占到这么好的地儿 没人会想走的 |
[05:27] | That’s a fallacy. | 胡扯 |
[05:30] | All right, I tell you what. | 好吧,咱们这样 |
[05:31] | Go into the store, and I’ll wait in the car. | 你去商店,我在车里等 |
[05:34] | Why don’T you go into the store, and I’ll wait in the car? | 为什么不你去我等呢? |
[05:37] | Because I’ve got the coat. | 因为我这件高科技外套 |
[05:39] | – I can sit in the car and not get cold. – I’ll leave the car heater running. | – 我坐车里不会着凉的 – 我可以开暖气啊 |
[05:44] | – Does the heater work in this car? – No. | – 车里的暖气还能用? – 不能 |
[05:48] | There’s a spot right in front of the liquor store. You see? You see? | 小酒吧门口有个车位,你看到没 看见了吗? |
[05:55] | – But we were here ahead of you. – How do I know that? | – 可是我们比你先来啊 – 我怎么知道 |
[05:58] | Well, we saw you come in. | 因为我们看着你们进来的 |
[06:00] | – Well, that’s easy for you to say. – Oh, yeah, right. | – 呵,说着轻巧 – 哦,对 |
[06:03] | That’s something I do. | 我会为了能在蛋糕店插队 |
[06:04] | I make up stories to get ahead in lines at bakeries. | 而编这么个故事么? |
[06:08] | Forty- six. | 46号 |
[06:12] | Wait. Wait a second. | 等等 |
[06:14] | Are you Barbara Benedict? | 你是芭芭拉・班尼迪科特? |
[06:16] | Yes. | 是 |
[06:19] | Oh, my God. | 哦,天呐 |
[06:20] | I don’T – – I know you. | 我,我认识你 |
[06:22] | I’m – – I’m Elaine Benes. | 我是伊莲・贝尼斯 |
[06:24] | Do you remember? We met at Linda van Grak’s baby shower. | 你记得吗,我们在琳达・范・格雷克 孩子的受洗礼上见过面 |
[06:28] | I’m on my way over there right now. | 我正在去那儿的路上 |
[06:30] | Yeah, me too. | 嗯,我也是 |
[06:32] | – You’re Jerry, right? – David. | 你是杰瑞对吧? 大卫 |
[06:40] | Well, this is a little awkward, isn’T it? | 这还真尴尬啊,不是? |
[06:42] | Yes, it is. | 超尴尬 |
[06:46] | You know, we were here ahead of you. | 但是,我们确实比你们早来 |
[06:49] | – You’re not getting my number. – So you still don’T believe us. | – 我不会把号码牌给你的 – 哦,你还是不相信我们 |
[06:53] | – Forty- seven. – That’s us. | – 47号 – 到我们了 |
[06:55] | Oh, okay, fine. Fine. Go ahead. But listen. | 哦,好,好,请便 但是你给我听好了 |
[06:58] | As soon as I get there… | 我一到琳达那儿 |
[07:00] | …I’m gonna tell everyone what a jerk you are. | 就会告诉大家你是个什么样的混球! |
[07:03] | I’ll be there ahead of you and I’ll be telling them what a jerk you are. | 我会比你先到,让我来告诉大家 你是个什么混球! |
[07:08] | I’ll have the chocolate babka. | 我们想要那个巧克力巴布卡 |
[07:12] | You’re lucky, Mrs. Benedict. It’s our last one. | 你们真幸运,班尼迪科特夫人 这是店里最后一个了 |
[07:19] | All right, what are we getting? It’s hot in here. | 那个,你买了什么? 这儿好热啊 |
[07:23] | What do you say we get a Mouton Cadet? | 你说咱来瓶木桐嘉隶怎样? |
[07:27] | – What’s that? – It’s a Bordeaux. | 那是什么? 一种波尔多酒 |
[07:29] | Robust, bold, very dry… | 醇、烈、无果味 |
[07:32] | …as opposed to a Beaujolais, which is richer and fruitier. | 刚好和浓厚而果味重的波尔多酒相反 |
[07:38] | – All right, here’s one. Twelve dollars. – Twelve dollars? | – 行了,就是这个,12美元 – 12美元? |
[07:42] | We should’ve gone to the bakery. They’re not getting no 1 2- dollar cake. | 我们应该选择去蛋糕店的 他们买蛋糕绝对花不了12美元! |
[07:46] | I’ll pay you back later. I don’T have my wallet. | 我迟些给你钱,忘带钱包了 |
[07:57] | – Why not? – I don’T like to carry my wallet. | – 为什么没带? – 我不喜欢把钱包带身上 |
[08:00] | My osteopath says that it’s bad for my spine. | 我按摩师说这对我的脊椎不好 |
[08:03] | Throws my hips off- kilter. | 破坏我臀部良好的状态 |
[08:07] | Throws your hips off- kilter. | 破坏你臀部良好的状态? |
[08:11] | – So where’s your money? – I never take it. | – 那你的钱都揣哪儿? – 我从来就不带 |
[08:14] | – So, what do you do? – Oh, I get by. | – 那请问,您在干什么? – 哦,我打酱油的 |
[08:19] | See you later. | 再见 |
[08:21] | – See you later. | – See you later. – 一会儿见 – 一会儿见,一定会见 |
[08:23] | That’s the last babka. They got the last babka. | 那是最后一块儿巴布卡了 他们买走了最后一块儿巴布卡! |
[08:26] | I know. They’re going in first with the last babka. | 我知道,他们会带着 最后的蛋糕最先到 |
[08:28] | – That was our babka. – You can’T beat babka. | – 那本来是我们的巴布卡 – 买什么都比不过买那个呀 |
[08:30] | We had that babka. | 我们本来已经拥有那块蛋糕了 |
[08:32] | They’re gonna be heroes. | 他们会成为英雄的 |
[08:34] | So, what now? If we can’T get the babka, the whole thing’s useless. | 那我们现在怎么办? 没有了蛋糕,我们就没用了 |
[08:37] | – Well, how about a carrot cake? – Carrot cake? | – 呃,来块儿胡萝卜蛋糕怎么样? – 胡萝卜蛋糕? |
[08:40] | Why is that a cake? You don’T make carrots into a cake, I’m sorry. | 那也算块儿蛋糕? 恐怕没人把胡萝卜塞蛋糕里吧 |
[08:45] | – Black Forest? | – Black Forest? Too scary. – 黑森林? – 黑森林?太恐怖了 |
[08:48] | You’re in the forest. | 你在一片森林里,呜 |
[08:52] | – Hey, how about a napoleon? – Napoleon? | – 嘿,拿破仑蛋糕怎样? – 拿破仑? |
[08:54] | Who’s he to have a cake? He was a ruthless warmonger. | 他凭什么命名一款蛋糕? 他只是个残忍的好战分子 |
[08:58] | Might as well get a Mengele. | 那还不如来块门格勒 (用集中营难民做人体试验的坏科学家) |
[09:01] | That was our babka. We had that babka. | 那本来是我们的巴布卡,我们的! |
[09:04] | – What’s this one? – That? Cinnamon babka. | – 这个是什么? – 这个?肉桂巴布卡 |
[09:08] | Another babka? | 另外一种巴布卡? |
[09:12] | There’s chocolate, and there’s cinnamon. | 有巧克力的,也有肉桂的 |
[09:15] | Well, we gotta get the cinnamon. | 太好了,我们可以要那个肉桂的 |
[09:16] | Yeah, but they got the chocolate. We’ll be going in with lesser babka. | 是可以,但是他们买到了巧克力的 我们只能带个次要一点的巴布卡 |
[09:20] | I beg your pardon. | 你说什么? |
[09:22] | Cinnamon takes a back seat to no babka. | 肉桂不比任何巴布卡差! |
[09:26] | People love it. lt should be on tables in restaurants with salt and pepper. | 人们喜欢肉桂,它应该和盐胡椒一起出现在 任何一家餐厅的任何一张桌上 |
[09:29] | Someone says, “This is so good. What’s in this?” | 人们就会问,“这太棒了 这里边是什么?” |
[09:32] | The answer comes back, “Cinnamon, cinnamon,” again and again. | 回答是,“肉桂、肉桂、肉桂…” 无限循环中 |
[09:36] | Lesser babka? I think not. | 次一点的巴布卡? 我不这么觉得 |
[09:40] | Forty- nine. | 49号 |
[09:44] | I’ll have a cinnamon babka. | 我想要个肉桂巴布卡 |
[09:46] | And a black- and- white cookie for me. | 我要黑白曲奇 |
[09:48] | Peace. | 搞定! |
[09:53] | That’ll be 1 3.05. | 一共13块5分 |
[09:55] | All right, here you go. | 好吧,给 |
[09:57] | A hundred. I can’T change that. | 100?我找不开 |
[10:00] | – You can’T ? All right, let’s go. – Wait a second. | – 找不起?那算了,我们走 – 等等 |
[10:04] | I can get change. | 我找的开 |
[10:09] | Hey, anybody got change for a hundred? | 嘿,有人有100块零钱么? |
[10:12] | Are you crazy? What are you doing? | 你疯了么,干什么呢! |
[10:13] | – You’re gonna get us killed. – What? | – 我们会被杀的! – 啊? |
[10:15] | Don’T go shouting we got a $ 1 00 bill. People will be all over us. | 别再说我们有整整100美元的巨款了 人们会把我们围住的 |
[10:18] | Let’s buy something and we’ll get change. | 我们去买点东西吧,换点零钱 |
[10:21] | I am not buying something just to get change. | 我才不会为了找零去买什么东西 |
[10:23] | George, there’s a newsstand right over there. Now, come on. | 乔治,那儿有个书报亭 走吧,别磨蹭了 |
[10:32] | – What are we doing? – Just get some gum or something. | – 我们到底要干什么? – 买点口香糖或者什么吧 |
[10:38] | Pack of gum. Here you go. | 要一盒口香糖,给你钱 |
[10:41] | What, it’s a hundred? I can’T change a hundred. | 哈?一百? 我可找不开一百的 |
[10:44] | – Why not? – You gotta buy more than that. | – 为什么不行? – 你得多买点儿才行 |
[10:47] | Here. Get a newspaper. | 好吧,再一份报纸 |
[10:49] | – Newspaper. – Not enough. | – 一份报纸 – 还是不够 |
[10:53] | Clark Bar. | 巧克力 |
[10:57] | – Clark Bar. – Keep going. | – 一包巧克力 – 继续 |
[11:00] | – I’m up to $2 here. – Here. | – 我已经买了两美元东西了 – 给 |
[11:02] | – George, get a Penthouse Forum. – I’m not getting a Penthouse Forum. | – 乔治,来本《阁楼》吧 (类似《playboy》的黄色杂志) – 我才不会买《阁楼》呢! |
[11:07] | No, that’ll make great dinner- party conversation. | 别啊,这是多好的晚餐谈资啊! |
[11:10] | We’ll read the letters at the dinner table. | 我们可以边吃饭边念那些故事 |
[11:12] | – Oh, that’s nice. – You ever read one of these? | – 哦,这可真好 – 你以前读过么? |
[11:14] | It’s not real. They’re all made up. | 那些都不是真的,都是编出来的 |
[11:16] | Oh, it’s real. | 噢,这可真实了 |
[11:19] | You know, then there’s an unusual number of people having sex… | 那就有出奇多的人在和被截肢的人 |
[11:22] | …with amputees. | 做爱! |
[11:31] | Penthouse Forum. | 《阁楼》 |
[11:33] | Newspaper, gum, Clark Bar. | 报纸、口香糖、巧克力 |
[11:40] | Six seventy- five. | 6元7毛5 |
[11:41] | Oh, great. All right, with the wine, I’m in over $20 now. | 哦,太好了,加上酒 我得花上20多块了! |
[11:47] | – Big coat. Big coat! – Yes. | – 大风衣,大风衣! – 是 |
[11:50] | I’m sorry. It’s a new coat. | 不好意思,这是件新衣裳 |
[11:54] | It’s Gore- Tex. | 是高泰克斯的 |
[11:57] | We better be careful with that thing. | 我们最好注意下那个东西 |
[12:00] | You’ll start a war. | 可能引起战争哦 |
[12:04] | See, the key to eating a black- and- white cookie… | 看见了吗,吃黑白曲奇的要诀是 |
[12:06] | …is you wanna get some black and some white in each bite. | 每一口你都得咬到一点黑的和一点白的 |
[12:09] | Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. | 再没什么比香草混巧克力更好吃的了 |
[12:13] | And yet still somehow, racial harmony eludes us. | 但是,不知道为什么种族问题还是 困扰着我们 |
[12:17] | lf people would only look to the cookie… | 要是人们能看看曲奇就好了 |
[12:20] | …all our problems would be solved. | 所有问题不都迎刃而解了么 |
[12:22] | Well, your views on race relations are just fascinating. | 呃,你对于种族关系的看法很独到 |
[12:25] | You really should do an op- ed piece for The Times. | 你真应该在《时代》上开一个专栏 |
[12:29] | Look to the cookie, Elaine. | 伊莲,瞧瞧那些曲奇 |
[12:31] | Look to the cookie. | 好好看看它们 |
[12:35] | What is this? | 这是什么? |
[12:37] | What? | 嗯? |
[12:39] | It’s a hair. | 一根头发! |
[12:42] | Take it back. Get another one. | 拿回去换一个 |
[12:43] | – No, we’re late. I’ll take it off. – Get another one. It’ll take a second. | – 不行,我们要迟到了,算了吧 – 必须换一个,要不了多久 |
[12:46] | All right, all right. | 好吧好吧 |
[12:49] | – Excuse me. – Hey, hey. | – 不好意思 – 嘿,嘿 |
[12:51] | – I’m on line here. – No, no, we just bought this. | – 我在这儿排着呢 – 不是,我们刚买了这个 |
[12:54] | You sold us a cake with a hair on it. | 你卖给我们一个有头发的蛋糕 |
[12:57] | You have to take a number. | 你们得去排个号 |
[12:59] | We waited 1 5 minutes for this. | 我们已经等了15分钟了 |
[13:02] | You sell me a cake with a hair on it… | 你卖给我一根有头发的蛋糕 |
[13:05] | …and then you want me to wait? | 你还想我再等一会儿? |
[13:07] | What are you doing? You’re gonna wait now? | 你干嘛呢? 你真的想等么? |
[13:10] | I’m not gonna eat a cake with a hair on it. | 我才不会吃有头发的蛋糕呢 |
[13:12] | It was a little hair. I took it off. | 只是根小小的头发 我已经把它拿掉了 |
[13:14] | A little hair? Do you think that makes it better? | 一根小小的头发? 你认为这么想就会好点么? |
[13:16] | – What if it’s your hair? | – What if it’s your hair? – 说不定是你的头发呢! – 也说不定是你的 |
[13:19] | What is wrong with my hair? Nobody takes better care of their hair than me. | 我头发怎么了? 没人比我更爱惜头发了 |
[13:23] | You can serve dinner on my head. | 我的头可以拿来承晚餐 |
[13:25] | You use that misty herbal rainwater crap they sell in the health food store. | 你用的是健康食品店里卖的 薄雾型草本雨水废物 |
[13:29] | I use Prell, the hard stuff. | 我用的是普利而,好家伙! |
[13:32] | Hundred proof, takes your roots out. | 很多证据显示,从发根上打败你 |
[13:35] | Okay, fine. We’ll just wait till she calls the number. | 好吧,我们就在这儿等她叫号码 |
[13:39] | Maybe we should forget about the cake. | 干脆咱们别买蛋糕了 |
[13:41] | No. I’m bringing cake. | 不,我就要买蛋糕! |
[13:46] | All right, we got the wine. Aren’T we lucky? We got wine. | 好了,终于买到酒了 多幸运啊,居然买到酒了 |
[13:51] | lmagine if we didn’T bring the wine. We’d be shunned by society. | 想想看,如果我们没买到酒 我们会被社会抛弃的 |
[13:54] | Outcasts. “Where’s your wine? Get out!” | 像这样被赶走 “你们的酒呢,滚出去” |
[14:00] | “l know this is gonna sound like a crazy fantasy… | 我知道这听起来很诡异 |
[14:02] | …but every word of this story is true. | 但是,这故事的每一句话都是真的 |
[14:06] | A few weeks ago, my girlfriend mentioned to me… | 几周之前,我的女朋友跟我提到 |
[14:08] | …how attractive she thought our new neighbor, Linda, was.” | 她觉得我们的新邻居琳达 十分迷人 |
[14:11] | Look- – Look at this. | 看,看这里 |
[14:13] | Somebody double- parked and blocked us in. | 有人把车停在我们旁边 挡住了我们的出路 |
[14:17] | Does anybody know whose car that is? | 有人知道这是谁的车吗? |
[14:20] | Maybe there’s a note on it. Oh, brother. | 也许人家留了纸条 哦,兄弟 |
[14:24] | No. No note. | 没有,没有纸条! |
[14:25] | – Can you believe this? – “Of course, I noticed her too… | 你相信吗? “当然我也注意到了她 |
[14:28] | …with those ample breasts and pouty lips. | 丰满的乳房,撅起的小嘴 |
[14:31] | I don’T have to tell you she was a knockout.” | 你应该知道她有多美了吧 |
[14:37] | I really cannot comprehend how stupid people can be sometimes. | 我真不明白为什么有的时候 人们能那么愚蠢 |
[14:40] | – Can you comprehend it? – No, I can’T comprehend it. | – 你能理解吗? – 不不,我也不能 |
[14:43] | We can put a man on the moon, but we’re still basically very stupid. | 我们能放一个男人到月球上去 但是我们本质上还是那么愚蠢 |
[14:47] | The guy whose car this is could be the guy that built the rocket. | 说不定这车就是造火箭那人的 |
[14:50] | – You see what I’m saying? – He could build the rocket. | – 你明白我在说什么了么? – 嗯,人能造出一艘火箭 |
[14:52] | He’s still stupid for double- parking and blocking somebody in. | 却还是笨到会违例停车 挡住别人的路 |
[14:55] | So you understand my point about building rockets and double- parking? | 你明白我关于建造火箭和 违例停车的观点了吗? |
[14:59] | On one hand, he’s smart with rockets. On the other, he’s dumb with parking. | 在制造火箭方面,非常聪明 可在停车方面却一点常识都没有 |
[15:03] | It’s cold out here, huh? | 外边可真冷啊是吧? |
[15:04] | Maybe it’s not stupidity. Maybe it’s just a blatant disregard… | 也许这不是愚不愚蠢的问题 也许这纯粹就是一种 |
[15:08] | …for basic human decency. | 对人类基本礼仪的蔑视 |
[15:09] | This is how dictators start. | 独裁者就是这么诞生的 |
[15:11] | Think Mussolini would circle the block six times for a spot? | 你觉得墨索里尼会为了一个车位 在这儿绕6圈吗? |
[15:14] | How about ldi Amin, huh? | 伊迪・阿明达会吗? |
[15:16] | lf I was running for office, I’d ask for the death penalty for double- parkers. | 告诉你,如果我在政府工作 我一定申请给违例停车的人处以死刑 |
[15:19] | lf this is allowed to go on, this is not a society. | 如果这都行得通,根本就不能 算做一个社会 |
[15:22] | This is anarchy! | 这就是无政府! |
[15:24] | – Are those shoes comfortable? – No, not really. | 这双鞋舒服么? 不,不是很舒服 |
[15:26] | – They look comfortable. – That’s why I got them, but they’re not. | – 但是它们看上去很舒服 – 我知道,所以我才买的,但其实并不舒服 |
[15:32] | Why couldn’T we take the hair off and go? | 我们为什么不能直接把头发 拿掉然后就走呢? |
[15:34] | – No. That’s out of the question. – Why? | – 不,绝对不行 – 为什么? |
[15:37] | Because I had a bad experience with a hair when I was younger. | 因为我童年的时候对头发 有过很不好的回忆! |
[15:43] | – What happened? – I’d rather not talk about it. | – 喔,怎么了? – 我不想说 |
[15:46] | – You can’T tell me? – All right. | – 连我都不能告诉? – 好吧 |
[15:51] | I once found a hair in my farina, and I freaked out. | 有一次我在谷粉里发现了头发 然后我抓狂了 |
[15:55] | You found a hair in your farina? | 你在谷粉里发现了头发? |
[15:58] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
[15:59] | – What happened? – I screamed: | – 到底发生什么事了? – 我尖叫着: |
[16:00] | “There’s a hair in my farina. There’s a hair in my farina.” | “我的谷粉里有头发 我的谷粉里有头发!” |
[16:03] | I ran out of the house. I was running and running. | 我跑到屋外,一直跑一直跑 |
[16:06] | I was little, but I could run really fast. | 那会儿我很小,但是我跑得很快 |
[16:08] | And l- – I just kept running and… | 然后我接着跑,一直跑… |
[16:10] | …they found me three hours later collapsed at a construction site. | 三小时以后他们在一个建筑工地 旁边找到我,我都虚脱了 |
[16:16] | – Whose hair was it? – My mother’s . | – 谁的头发? – 我妈的 |
[16:19] | – Fifty- eight. – That’s us. | – 58号 – 到我们了 |
[16:21] | Oh, good. | 哦,太好了 |
[16:26] | You sold us a hair with a cake around it. | 你们卖给了我们一根由蛋糕 裹着的头发 |
[16:30] | We’d like another one. | 我们想换一个 |
[16:33] | Oh, that’s lovely. That’s what you wanna see, yeah. | 哦,真是可爱,我们目前 就想看到这个 |
[16:39] | Yeah, you wanna trade your hair for some phlegm. | 对,你们想用痰换掉头发 |
[16:43] | You win the pennant with that trade. Hair for phlegm. | 你赢了,锦旗给你 用痰换头发 |
[16:47] | Here you are. | 给 |
[16:48] | Okay. All right, we got the cake now. | 好了,我们终于拿到蛋糕了 |
[16:51] | Where is George and Kramer? | 乔治和克莱默怎么还没来? |
[16:56] | Hey, double- parker! | 嘿,违章停车的人! |
[16:59] | Show yourself! | 快出来啊! |
[17:00] | Come on out, I’m freezing. | 快点啊,我都冻僵了! |
[17:04] | We are really late now. | 我们真的是迟到了 |
[17:05] | – We’re in big trouble. Big trouble. – Why? | – 我们遇着大麻烦了,大- 麻- 烦! – 为什么? |
[17:08] | You know, Elaine. | 你知道,伊莲 |
[17:10] | What about her? | 她怎么了? |
[17:12] | I’m a little scared of her. | 我有点害怕她 |
[17:15] | – You’re scared of Elaine? – Yes. | – 你害怕伊莲? – 是啊 |
[17:17] | Why? | 为什么? |
[17:19] | Did you ever see her lose her temper? | 你有没有见过她发脾气啊? |
[17:21] | I was once late because I bought a Panama hat. | 有次我买了个巴拿马草帽 结果迟到了 |
[17:23] | She pulled it down so hard my head came right through the top. | 她一下把帽子拉下来 我的头直接从上边出来了 |
[17:26] | Let’s go inside the liquor store. I’m freezing. | 我们还是进到小酒吧里吧 我真的好冷啊 |
[17:29] | – Why don’T you wear a heavier coat? – I wanted to look good for the party. | – 你干嘛不穿件厚点的外套? – 我不想丑丑地出现在派对上 |
[17:34] | Hey, hey, hey. That’s great. That’s very nice. | 嘿,嘿,嘿,太好了,非常好 |
[17:37] | We been waiting 20 minutes for you people. | 我们等你们20分钟了 |
[17:39] | – You think you’re Mussolini? – Back off, puffball, it’s not my car! | – 你以为你是墨索里尼么! – 滚开大蘑菇,这又不是我们的车 |
[17:47] | I wasn’T talking to you. | 我又没跟你说话 |
[17:49] | I’m going in. | 我进去了 |
[17:53] | Wait till I get my hands on that George. | 等乔治来 |
[17:56] | I am gonna pull that big hood over his little head… | 我要把那个大斗篷 盖在他小小的头上! |
[18:01] | …tie the strings… | 绑一根绳子 |
[18:03] | …and suffocate him. | 勒死他 |
[18:06] | You remember that Panama hat? | 你还记得那个巴拿马帽子么? |
[18:09] | That was nothing. | 那不算什么 |
[18:12] | What? | 啊,什么? |
[18:14] | – What’s the matter with you? – I don’T know. I don’T feel so good. | – 你怎么了? – 不知道,我有点不舒服 |
[18:17] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了? |
[18:19] | My stomach. | 我的胃… |
[18:21] | I think it was that cookie. | 我觉得是曲奇的原因 |
[18:24] | – The black- and- white? – Yeah. | – 黑白曲奇? – 嗯 |
[18:26] | Not getting along? | 不适应? |
[18:31] | I think I got David Duke and Farrakhan down there. | 我觉得大卫・杜克和法兰克 在我肚子游行 |
[18:35] | lf we can’T look to the cookie, where can we look? | 那不是曲奇还能是什么? |
[18:38] | My stomach. I feel like I’m gonna throw up. | 我的胃啊,我觉得我快吐了 |
[18:40] | – Wait. What about your vomit streak? – I know. | – 等等,你的无呕吐记录怎么办? – 我知道 |
[18:43] | I haven’T thrown up since June 29, 1 980. | 从1980年6月29后起 我就再没吐过了 |
[18:53] | – Sorry. – Sorry? | – 对不起 – 对不起? |
[18:55] | You almost took my toe off. | 你差点都把我脚趾压掉了 |
[18:57] | Why don’T you watch what you’re doing, you lunatic. | 怎么走路不看路啊,你个神经病! |
[19:02] | Jerry, I think he broke my toe. | 杰瑞,我觉得他把我脚趾弄坏了 |
[19:06] | Where- – ? Where you going? | 喂,你要去哪儿? |
[19:08] | Fourteen years down the drain. | 14年了都,我去水槽 |
[19:11] | You think chickens have individual personalities? | 你觉得小鸡们有各自的个性吗? |
[19:13] | I don’T know. | 我怎么知道 |
[19:15] | Could you tell five chickens apart… | 你能从5只鸡不同的动作区分它们吗? |
[19:17] | …just by the way they acted? Or would they all be walking around: | 或者它们都只走来走去 |
[19:22] | lf they have individual personalities, I’m not sure we should be eating them. | 如果它们都有自己的个性 我们还应不应该吃它们呢? |
[19:26] | What’s the matter with you? | 你怎么了? |
[19:28] | Can I help you guys with anything? | 我能帮你们做点什么吗? |
[19:31] | No, no. We bought the wine here before. | 不,没事,我们刚刚在这儿 买了酒 |
[19:33] | We’re blocked in by some car double- parked. | 只是又个违例停车的人挡住 我们的路,车开不出来 |
[19:35] | Just waiting for the guy to pull out. | 我们在等他们走人 |
[19:37] | Well, wait outside. This isn’T a hang out. | 那到外面去等 这儿又不是给你们闲逛的地方 |
[19:40] | – But my friend here has hypothermia. – Hypothermia. | – 但是我朋友有低温症啊 – 低温症 |
[19:44] | All right, guys. | 好吧,伙计们 |
[19:46] | Take it outside. | 赶、快、出、去! |
[19:55] | You’re paying for these. | 这些你都得赔 |
[20:04] | – How was it? – Good as it gets. | – 还好吗? – 已经不错了 |
[20:08] | You know, that coat was Gore- Tex. | 你知道吗,这大衣可是高泰克斯的 |
[20:10] | It’s worth a hell of a lot more than that cheap chardonnay. | 比这些该死的白葡萄酒值钱多了! |
[20:13] | You know I’m freezing? I’m definitely freezing. | 你知道我已经冻僵了吧? 我冻到不行了 |
[20:16] | I can’T stop shaking. | 忍不住想抖 |
[20:18] | I’m cold too. At least you got a coat. | 我也很冷啊,你至少还有件外套 |
[20:20] | Let’s get in the car. | 我们还是进车里去吧 |
[20:27] | Oh, my God. That’s Saddam Hussein, the dictator. | 天啊,萨达姆啊! 那个独裁者! |
[20:30] | I told you. I told you. | 我说吧,之前就告诉你! |
[20:33] | I wouldn’T walk around without a coat. | 没有外套我不会到处乱跑的 |
[20:35] | You’ll catch your death of cold. So long. | 你这样会感冒的,再见 |
[20:39] | Can I get you anything else? | 我还能帮你们做点什么? |
[20:41] | – Oh, no, thanks. – How about a nice box of scram? | – 哦,不用了,谢谢 – 那来一盒“滚开”怎样? |
[20:50] | Somebody double- parked. We couldn’T help it. | 有人违例停车了,我们没有办法 |
[20:53] | Might’ve been Saddam Hussein. We’re not sure. | 可能是萨达姆呢,我们拿不准 |
[20:55] | He had a British accent, though. | 虽然他是英国口音 |
[20:58] | What- – ? What happened to you? | 这,你们怎么了? |
[21:01] | Somebody put a cane on my foot… | 有人一拐子拄到我的脚上 |
[21:04] | …just like the one I’m gonna put up your- – | 就像我正准备对付你那样 |
[21:07] | Hey, what happened to your coat? | 嘿,你的外套呢? |
[21:09] | And what is that smell? What, are you drunk? | 这是什么味道? 你该不是喝高了吧! |
[21:12] | – I had to give it to the liquor store guy. – What for? | – 我的外套给那个小酒店的家伙了 – 为什么? |
[21:15] | I spilled some chardonnay. | 我打碎了几瓶白葡萄酒 |
[21:18] | So, what did you get? | 那,你们买了什么? |
[21:21] | – Cinnamon babka. – Cinnamon? | – 肉桂巴布卡 – 肉桂? |
[21:24] | – Why didn’T you get chocolate? – George. | – 为什么不买巧克力的? – 乔治 |
[21:26] | What? What? What? | 什么?什么?怎么了? |
[21:38] | Here. Here’s your cake. | 给,你要的蛋糕 |
[21:40] | And your wine. | 还有你的酒 |
[21:42] | – See you. | – See you. – 拜拜! – 拜拜! |
[21:55] | I heard a weatherman say… | 有次我听到一个天气预报员说 |
[21:57] | …that 75 percent of your body heat… | 人体75%的热量 |
[22:00] | …is actually lost through the top of the head. | 都是从头部散发出去的 |
[22:02] | Which sounds like you could go skiing naked if you got a good hat. | 也就是说,如果你有一顶好帽子 你就能光着身子去滑雪了 |
[22:09] | But no hat makes a statement quite like the hat with the flaps. | 但是没有帽子能像有帽檐 的帽子那样传递一个信息 |
[22:12] | The hat with the flaps… | 有帽檐的帽子 |
[22:15] | …makes a statement that no other hat makes. | 十分的独特 |
[22:19] | This hat says to the world: | 比如这顶帽子就在告诉全世界: |
[22:22] | “l would rather have the heat in my skull… | “我宁愿拥有我头骨里的热量 |
[22:24] | …than anything society could possibly offer me.” | 而不是其他社会可以提供我的东西” |
[22:28] | ln fact, if you’re on trial for a serious crime… | 事实上,如果你被控以重罪 |
[22:31] | …and your lawyer recommends the insanity defense… | 律师要求用精神病做辩护的话 |
[22:33] | …this is the hat to wear. | 这就是这帽子发挥功效的时候了 |
[22:36] | Your lawyer should really insist. He should just go: | 你的律师只用坚持你戴上帽子,然后说: |
[22:38] | “Your Honor, the defense rests.” | “法官大人,本人辩护完毕” |