| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | The whole concept of the wanted poster… | 给嫌疑犯做通缉公告这整个想法 |
| [00:05] | …has gotta be the most optimistic crime-fighting idea. | 一定是最为乐观的打击犯罪的主意 |
| [00:08] | I mean, so how does it work? Okay. I’m on line at the post office. | 我是说，它是如何起作用的？ 我在邮局排着队 |
| [00:11] | I see the guy. I see the list of offenses. | 我看到那家伙了 我看到他那一串儿罪行 |
| [00:14] | I check the guy standing in line behind me. | 我仔细看看排在我后面那哥们 |
| [00:16] | If it’s not him, that’s pretty much all I can do. | 如果他不是嫌疑犯的话 我可就帮不上啥忙了 |
| [00:21] | Okay? It’s not that I don’t want to help. | 对吧？不是我不想帮忙 |
| [00:25] | Annoying thing is, why didn’t they hold on to this guy… | 让人烦的是，为什么警察 在给嫌疑人照相的时候 |
| [00:28] | …when they’re taking his picture? | 不把他逮住？ |
| [00:30] | “No, we don’t do it that way. We take their picture and we let them go. | 不行，我们不那么办事 我们给嫌疑人们照张相，然后放他们走 |
| [00:34] | That’s how we get the front and side shot. | 这是我们怎么搞到正面相和侧面相的 |
| [00:36] | The front is his face. The side is him leaving.” | 正面是他的脸，侧面是他走的时候 |
| [00:40] | -=THE LAST FANTASY=- | |
| [00:43] | “托儿” “托儿” | |
| [00:45] | Look at you. Why don’t you use a fork. You’re no good with the sticks. | 看看你的德性，你干吗不用叉子？ 你根本不会用筷子 |
| [00:49] | I know. I need a lesson. | 我知道，我需要人教我 |
| [00:50] | You stink. You know you stink. What is this? | 你真不招人待见，你知道你不招人待见 这是什么？ |
| [00:54] | Oh, my ballet tickets. | 噢，芭蕾舞门票 |
| [00:56] | Oh, your ballet tickets. | 噢，芭蕾舞门票 |
| [00:58] | Have you ever been to the ballet? | 你看过芭蕾吗？ |
| [01:00] | No, but I’ve seen people on tiptoes. | 没，但是我见过别人踮着脚走路 |
| [01:03] | – You know, I’m going as a beard. – A beard? | – 我是去当托儿的 – 托儿？ |
| [01:05] | Yeah. This friend of a friend knows this banker guy. | 朋友的朋友认识一位银行家 |
| [01:08] | He’s 30-ish, unbelievably gorgeous. | 他三十来岁，帅得要死 |
| [01:11] | – Of course he’s gay. – Yeah. | – 当然了，他是同性恋 – 嗯 |
| [01:14] | So anyway, his boss has this box at the Met, and he invited him… | 不管怎么着，他老板在 Met剧场有包厢，邀请他… |
| [01:17] | …to go see Swan Lake with him and his wife. But he’s afraid his boss… | 跟他老板两口子一起去看天鹅湖 但他怕他老板… |
| [01:21] | …can’t handle his orientation. So I’m going along as his date. | 没法接受他的性取向 所以我以他女友的身份去喽 |
| [01:26] | – Why are you doing this? – Swan Lake at the Met. | – 你为什么要这么干？ – 那可是Met剧场的天鹅湖啊 |
| [01:32] | – Yeah? – Get it on with your bad self. | – 谁？ – 坏版杰瑞！ |
| [01:41] | Chinese food. I knew I smelled something. | 中餐，我就知道我闻见好吃的了 |
| [01:43] | – Yeah. – Is George still wearing that toupee? | – 嗯 – 乔治还戴着他那假发呢？ |
| [01:47] | – Yeah. – Doesn’t he know how ridiculous… | – 是啊 – 他就不知道他戴那玩意… |
| [01:49] | …he looks in that thing? – I think he looks fantastic. | – 看起来有多�澹� – 我倒觉得他看上去挺帅阿 |
| [01:52] | Oh, come on. | 啊，得了吧 |
| [01:55] | I never realized what an attractive man he is. | 我从没意识到他是一个多么有吸引力的男人 |
| [01:59] | Oh, he’s a real looker, that one. | 那家伙，他可真是个帅小伙阿 |
| [02:05] | – Hey. – People, people, people. | – 嗨 – 诸位，诸位，诸位 |
| [02:10] | Not bad, huh? | 还行吧？ |
| [02:16] | All right. Excuse me. | 好的，借过 |
| [02:19] | You look ridiculous in that thing. | 你戴那玩意看起来�逅懒� |
| [02:23] | Is that so? | 真的吗？ |
| [02:25] | Or could it be that you’re just a little bit worried… | 或者可能是你有那么点担心… |
| [02:28] | …that you may have missed the boat? | 你已经错过追我的黄金时间了？ |
| [02:33] | Well, I think they might have sutured that thing to your brain. | 我觉得他们可能是 把那玩意缝在你大脑上了 |
| [02:42] | Oh, all right. Go ahead. Deride. Deride if you must. | 行吧，接着说，嘲笑我吧 如果这样才能使你好受点 |
| [02:46] | But let me tell you something. | 但让我告诉你一件事 |
| [02:48] | With my personality and this head of hair, you know what I am now? | 以我的人品和这浓密的头发 知道我现在是什么吗？ |
| [02:51] | I am in the game. | 我能去追女孩了 |
| [02:52] | I no longer defer to the coifed. I’m a player. | 我不再顺从修女们的意志 我是个追女孩大赛中的选手了 |
| [02:56] | You know, I thought of something. | 我想起件事 |
| [02:57] | I know this gorgeous woman. She called me up this morning. | 我认识个挺不错的女的 她今早上给我打电话 |
| [03:00] | She’s moving into the city, and she asked if I knew anyone… | 她要搬到城里来 问我是不是认识… |
| [03:03] | …she could meet. Now you can go out with her. | 能跟她约会的人 现在你可以去和她拍拖喽 |
| [03:06] | – Well, what about me? – No, I think he’s got you beat, buddy. | – 那我呢？ – 没戏，老兄，我觉得他魅力比你大 |
| [03:11] | – So she’s gorgeous? – Yeah. Last time I saw her she was. | – 那她挺不错的？ – 嗯，上次我见她的时候是这样的 |
| [03:14] | – Five years ago. – You got a picture? | – 五年前了 – 你有照片吗？ |
| [03:16] | No, no. | 没，没 |
| [03:17] | Well, I have to see her. | 我得见见她 |
| [03:19] | Hey. I know what we can do. | 我知道我们得咋办了 |
| [03:21] | I got a friend, works at the police station. | 我有个朋友，在警局工作 |
| [03:23] | – He’s a composite artist. – Really? | – 他是个容貌拼图画家 – 真的？ |
| [03:25] | – I can get him to draw a picture of her. – I would love that. | – 我能叫他画一张那女的的相 – 那太好了 |
| [03:28] | – You think he’d really do it? – I think he will. | – 你觉得他会帮忙？ – 嗯 |
| [03:30] | It sounds like an excellent idea. | 这主意听起来棒极了 |
| [03:34] | You done with all this? I’m gonna give it to a homeless person. | 你们都吃完了吗？我要把它给流浪汉 |
| [03:37] | Yeah, I’m very excited about this. | 这事儿让我特兴奋 |
| [03:39] | I always wanted to see how these sketch artists do it. | 我一直想看看那些画家是怎么画画的 |
| [03:42] | Here you go, brother. Some food for you. | 给你，兄弟，给你点吃的 |
| [03:44] | Thank you. You’re a good man. Bless you. | 谢谢，你是个好人，上帝保佑你 |
| [03:47] | – You gonna be here in an hour? – Where am I going? | – 你一小时后还在这吗？ – 我还能去哪呢？ |
| [03:50] | All right. Enjoy. | 好的，用餐愉快 |
| [03:52] | Wait up! | 等我！ |
| [03:54] | That’s good. | 很好 |
| [03:55] | And make the eyes… | 把眼睛画得… |
| [03:57] | – What’s that nut? – Almonds? | – 那果仁叫啥来的？ – 杏仁？ |
| [03:59] | Almonds. Yeah. That’s good. | 杏核眼，对，很好 |
| [04:01] | – Can I see…? – No, no. Not yet. | – 我能看看…？ – 不行，不行，还不行 |
| [04:03] | Yeah. And make the lips fuller, poutier. | 对，把嘴画得再丰满些，撅起来点 |
| [04:06] | Pouty? I like that. | 撅着的嘴唇？我喜欢 |
| [04:08] | – You can’t go wrong with pouty. – I’m excited about the pouty. | – 撅嘴唇错不了 – 撅嘴唇使我兴奋 |
| [04:11] | – All right. I think that about does it. – George, come on. Take a look. | – 好，我觉得这就行了 – 乔治，过来，看看 |
| [04:15] | – Oh, yeah. – Oh, my God. You were right. | – 啊，看呐 – 噢，老天，你说的没错 |
| [04:17] | She is gorgeous. | 她很不错 |
| [04:19] | Hey, Lou, who’s that woman over there? | 嗨，卢，那边那女的是谁？ |
| [04:22] | Her? Oh, that’s Sergeant Tierney. | 她？那是蒂尔妮警官 |
| [04:24] | – Nice officer. – You wanna meet her? | – 漂亮女警阿 – 你想认识她吗？ |
| [04:27] | Well, this worked out okay. | 今这事进展顺利 |
| [04:29] | You gonna see that policewoman? | 你要去约那女警吗？ |
| [04:30] | Yeah. I think I will. | 我想我会的 |
| [04:32] | I like the idea of having the law on my side. | 我喜欢让法律站在我这边 |
| [04:34] | – Hey, man. Did you enjoy the food? – Yes, I did. | – 嗨，老兄，吃的好吗？ – 很好 |
| [04:37] | Where did the Chinese learn to cook like that? | 中国人哪学的做饭阿 |
| [04:40] | Listen. I’ll take that Tupperware now. | 听着，我现在要拿回那个特百惠了 （特百惠是商标名，家用塑料制品） |
| [04:43] | I don’t think so. | 不行 |
| [04:45] | That’s mine. | 那是我的 |
| [04:46] | – You gave it to me. – I didn’t say you could keep it. | – 你把它给我了 – 我没说你可以保留它 |
| [04:48] | See, I don’t give away Tupperware. | 明白吗，我并不赠送特百惠 |
| [04:50] | – You should’ve said something. – I didn’t think I had to. | – 你应该事先说明阿 – 我那会儿觉得没必要 |
| [04:53] | Look, with a piece of Tupperware, you just assume. | 看哪，就是一特百惠 你丫都假设是你的 |
| [04:56] | Oh, yeah! | 是，没错！ |
| [05:03] | I’ve really gotta thank you for this. | 我真得为了这个好好感谢你 |
| [05:05] | The bank I work for is so conservative. | 我工作的那家银行真是太保守了 |
| [05:08] | Well, by now you’d think people would be a little more open-minded. | 现在，你觉得没准人们会开明一点 |
| [05:13] | Excuse me. I have to run to the bathroom. | 抱歉，我得去下卫生间 |
| [05:15] | – Okay. – Great. | – 好的 – 好 |
| [05:18] | So… | 那么… |
| [05:21] | – You and Robert? – Yep. | – 你和罗伯特？ – 嗯 |
| [05:25] | – Really? – Yes, indeedy. | – 真的？ – 没有错地 |
| [05:28] | I’m surprised. | 我很惊讶 |
| [05:30] | Really? Why? | 真的？为什么啊？ |
| [05:32] | No reason. | 没为什么 |
| [05:35] | Well, believe me. This didn’t happen overnight. | 相信我，这不是一夜之间的事 |
| [05:37] | Robert is not exactly a one-woman man, if you know what I mean. | 罗伯特不是那种身边只有一个女人的人 如果您明白我什么意思的话 |
| [05:41] | No, sirree, Bob. | 确实不是地，鲍勃先生 |
| [05:43] | Sure, I mean, in a lot of ways he’s a typical guy. He likes his sports. | 我的意思是，从许多方面来讲 他还是个很典型的男人滴，他喜欢运动 |
| [05:47] | But he counters that side with the side you see here tonight at the ballet… | 他将那一面和您今晚所看到的这一面 |
| [05:51] | …or the pleasure he gets watching Liza Minnelli… | 或是他听丽莎・明妮莉引吭高歌时的快感 |
| [05:53] | …belt out a few choice numbers. | 对立起来 |
| [05:56] | It’s those two halves of his personality that just come together… | 恰恰是他个性中的这两部分结合起来 |
| [05:59] | …to make him the very special guy that he is. | 使他成为现在这个特别的人 |
| [06:02] | Excuse me. Sorry. | 打扰一下，抱歉 |
| [06:06] | Oh, hi, honey. | 噢，嗨，亲爱的 |
| [06:15] | It was just such a great night. | 那晚上棒极了 |
| [06:16] | And did they suspect anything? | 他们怀疑什么了没有？ |
| [06:19] | No, I was a fantastic beard. | 没有啊，我是个完美的托儿 |
| [06:21] | I held hands. I called him “honey.” | 我拉着他的手，叫他亲爱的 |
| [06:24] | And we discover yet another talent: Posing as a girlfriend for homosexuals. | 我们发现了你另外一个天赋： 装腔作势地当同性恋男人的女朋友 |
| [06:32] | Oh, it was just such a great night. | 噢，那晚上棒极了 |
| [06:35] | You said that already. | 你已经说过了 |
| [06:36] | – Oh, I did? – Yeah. | – 我说过？ – 是的 |
| [06:42] | Oh, no. | 噢，不是吧 |
| [06:45] | Don’t tell me… | 别告诉我… |
| [06:48] | You like him? | 你喜欢他？ |
| [06:49] | He’s incredible. | 他太帅了 |
| [06:52] | Yeah, but… | 是，但是… |
| [06:54] | Yeah. I know. | 我知道 |
| [06:56] | – So? – What? | – 那么？ – 什么？ |
| [06:58] | Not conversion? | 你不是要改变他的性取向吧？ |
| [07:02] | You’re thinking conversion? | 你想改变他的性取向？ |
| [07:04] | Well, it did occur to me. | 我确实想到 |
| [07:07] | You think you can get him to change teams? | 你觉得你能让他换个队伍？ |
| [07:09] | He’s not gonna suddenly switch sides. | 他不会突然改变阵营的 |
| [07:11] | Forget about it. | 别想了 |
| [07:13] | Why? Is it irrevocable? | 为什么？这是不可逆转的？ |
| [07:15] | Because when you join that team, it’s not a whim. | 因为当你加入那支队伍的时候 这不是突然奇想 |
| [07:18] | He likes his team. He’s set with that team. | 他喜欢他的队伍 他在那支队伍里呆定了 |
| [07:23] | – But we’ve got a good team. – Yeah, we do. | – 但我们也有支不错的队伍啊 – 是，我们有 |
| [07:26] | We do have a good team. | 我们确实有支不错的队伍 |
| [07:27] | Well, why can’t he play for us? | 为什么他就不能为我们的队伍作战呢？ |
| [07:32] | They’re only comfortable with their equipment. | 他们只对自己队伍的“装备”感到轻松自在 |
| [07:39] | But we just got along so great. | 但我们相处得非常好 |
| [07:42] | Of course. Everyone gets along great when there’s no possibility of sex. | 当然了，当没有性关系的可能性的时候 每个人都相处得很好 |
| [07:46] | No, no, no. I sensed something. I did sense something. | 不，不，不 我感觉到火花，我确实感觉到火花 |
| [07:49] | I perceived a possibility, Jerry. | 我察觉到一种可能性，杰瑞 |
| [07:55] | You realize you’re venturing into uncharted waters? | 你意识到你在冒险进入未知水域？ |
| [07:58] | I realize that. | 是的 |
| [08:00] | Are you that desperate? | 你就那么饥不择人？ |
| [08:03] | Yes, I am. | 是的 |
| [08:07] | Are you gonna bring your gun? | 你会带枪来吗？ |
| [08:11] | Yeah, I think you should leave it at home. | 我觉得你应该把枪留在家 |
| [08:14] | I don’t really know you that well. What if we get into a fight or something? | 我跟你又不是很熟，如果我们吵架了 或是类似的事情发生了怎么办？ |
| [08:18] | You know, you lose your temper. Who knows what you’re capable of. | 如果你发脾气了 谁知道你会干出什么事来呢 |
| [08:22] | All right. Then it’s settled. First date, no weapons. | 好的，那就这么定了 第一次约会，不要带武器 |
| [08:26] | All right. I’ll see you then. | 好，到时候见 |
| [08:27] | Okay, bye. | 好，再见 |
| [08:31] | Yeah, yeah. | 啊，啊 |
| [08:33] | Here we go. | 就是这儿 |
| [08:34] | – What are you looking for? – Tupperware. | – 你找什么呢？ – 特百惠 |
| [08:38] | Sorry. I don’t have any Tupperware. | 抱歉，我可没有特百惠 |
| [08:40] | See, I knew this was gonna happen. | 瞧瞧，我就知道这会发生的 |
| [08:42] | I just made a delicious casserole, but it won’t keep… | 我刚做了好吃的炖菜，但没法保存它… |
| [08:44] | …because I have no Tupperware. | 因为我没有特百惠 |
| [08:46] | – What about a plastic bag? – You must be kidding. | – 塑料袋行吗？ – 你开玩笑吧 |
| [08:50] | What is the difference? | 这二者有区别吗？ |
| [08:51] | The patented burp, Jerry. It locks in freshness. | 那是专利产品，杰瑞 它锁住食物的新鲜 |
| [08:56] | – Hey. | – Hey. – 嗨 – 嗨 |
| [09:00] | So I spoke to your little friend Denise last night. | 我昨晚跟你的丹尼斯小朋友聊天了 |
| [09:04] | Oh, yeah. You talked, huh? | 噢，你们聊天了？ |
| [09:06] | Yeah. For two hours. She’s nuts about you. | 是啊，聊了俩小时 她对你很着迷啊 |
| [09:08] | Yeah. We go way back, you know. | 我们是老交情了 |
| [09:10] | Why didn’t anything ever happen between you two? | 你们俩之间怎么没发生点什么？ |
| [09:13] | Who’s to say it didn’t? | 有谁说过没有吗？ |
| [09:17] | So did you describe yourself to her over the phone? | 你电话里跟她描述你自己了吗？ |
| [09:19] | Yes, I did. | 说了 |
| [09:21] | – What did you say? – What do you think I said? | – 你说什么了？ – 你觉得我说什么了？ |
| [09:24] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [09:26] | I told her the truth. | 我跟她实话实说了 |
| [09:27] | As you see it? | 就如同你所见的一样？ |
| [09:32] | Yes, as I see it. | 是，就如同我所见的一样 |
| [09:33] | Did you tell her about your little hat there? | 你告诉她你戴的那顶小帽子了吗？ |
| [09:38] | What hat? | 什么帽子？ |
| [09:40] | You know, your little hair hat there. | 你脑袋上那个毛发小帽帽 |
| [09:44] | – No. – Don’t you think she could tell? | – 没有 – 你不觉得她能看出来吗？ |
| [09:46] | No, no, no. She can’t tell. It’s a perfect match. Beautiful job. | 不，不，不，她看不出来的 那是个完美的搭配，漂亮活儿啊 |
| [09:50] | Are you kidding? I could spot that bird’s nest two blocks away. | 你开什么玩笑？ 我两个街区之外都能一眼认出那个小鸟巢 |
| [09:55] | You only think that because you know me. | 你那么觉得是因为你认识我 |
| [09:57] | Noticed people staring at your head? | 发现别人盯着你的头看了吗？ |
| [09:59] | I noticed people staring at my head because they like what they see. | 我注意到别人盯着我的头看 是因为他们喜欢他们所见的 |
| [10:03] | You should either take it off or tell her about it. | 你要不就别戴它了，要不就告诉她真相 |
| [10:06] | He’s not gonna take it off. If he was gonna go bald… | 他不能不戴假发，如果他要变秃头的话… |
| [10:08] | …I never would have introduced them. | 我就不该介绍他们俩认识 |
| [10:10] | – I guarantee she won’t know. – Yeah. That’s it. | – 我保证她不会发现的 – 对，那就对了 |
| [10:13] | I’m gonna go down to the precinct, have lunch with Lou. | 我要去警局，跟卢吃午饭 |
| [10:16] | Oh, I’ll split a cab with you. | 我跟你搭一辆出租车 |
| [10:18] | Hey, I’m really sorry about the other day, man. Really sorry. | 嗨，那天的事我很抱歉，真的很抱歉 |
| [10:23] | Hey, that’s my coffee. | 嘿，那是我的咖啡 |
| [10:29] | – Hi, sarge. – Hi. | – 嗨，警官 – 嗨 |
| [10:30] | I’m sorry I’m late. Some of our lineup decoys didn’t show, so… | 对不起我迟到了，有待辨认的嫌疑人里 一些找来凑数的没来，所以… |
| [10:35] | Hey, any of you guys want to be in the lineup, make a quick 50 bucks? | 你们之中有人想去凑数，马上赚50块钱？ |
| [10:38] | Sure, I will. | 我去 |
| [10:41] | Perfect. Okay. Just go right over there with Officer Lampart. | 太好了，好，就去那找兰帕德警官就行 |
| [10:45] | All right. | 好的 |
| [11:02] | All of you, turn to the left. | 你们所有人，左转 |
| [11:07] | The left. | 左转 |
| [11:15] | Now, turn to the right. | 现在，右转 |
| [11:27] | Oh, my God. There she is. That’s the face. | 哦，天呐，她来了，就是那张脸 |
| [11:30] | Just like the picture. | 跟画里的一样 |
| [11:31] | – George? – Yeah. Hi. | – 乔治？ – 是的，嗨 |
| [11:33] | – It’s great to meet you. – Likewise. | – 很高兴认识你 – 我也是 |
| [11:35] | – Have you been waiting long or…? – No. I got here two minutes ago. | – 你等了很久还是… – 没有，我两分钟前刚到 |
| [11:38] | Good, good. | 好，好 |
| [11:42] | Well, why don’t you take off your hat, stay a while. | 你要不摘下帽子，我俩跟这待会儿 |
| [11:52] | – What’s that? – A polygraph. | – 那是什么？ – 多道生理仪 |
| [11:55] | What you civilians call a lie detector test. | 老百姓叫它测谎仪 |
| [11:57] | Let me ask you. Now, when someone is lying… | 我问问你啊，现在如果有人说谎 |
| [12:00] | …is it true that their pants are actually on fire? | 他们的内裤就会着火，这是真的吗？ |
| [12:04] | If I could tell you the famous faces that have been up here… | 如果我能告诉你来这测谎的名人的话… |
| [12:07] | Get out. | 快说 |
| [12:08] | A certain cast member of Melrose Place. | 《飞越情海》剧组的某位演员 （福克斯电视台著名电视剧） |
| [12:10] | Really? | 真的？ |
| [12:12] | – Have you ever seen the show? – No. | – 你看过那个吗？ – 没有 |
| [12:16] | You can admit it, Jerry. It’s okay. | 你就承认吧，杰瑞，没关系的 |
| [12:19] | I’d admit it. I don’t watch it. | 我承认，我没看过 |
| [12:22] | Hey, Lou. Maybe we should put him on the poly. | 嗨，卢，没准我们该给他测测谎 |
| [12:25] | – The poly? – Yeah. I think you’ve seen it. | – 测谎？ – 是啊，我觉得你看过 |
| [12:37] | Melrose Place? | 《飞跃情海》？ |
| [12:40] | Yes, Melrose Place. | 是的，飞跃情海 |
| [12:43] | – I just didn’t know you watch that. – Well, I do. | – 我不知道你还看那个 – 好吧，我看 |
| [12:49] | Every time I’ve mentioned it… | 每次我一提… |
| [12:51] | …you never say anything or join in the conversation. | 你什么都不说，也不加入谈话 |
| [12:55] | Well, maybe I was a little embarrassed. | 也许我有点尴尬 |
| [12:58] | You mean, this whole time, we could have been… | 这一直以来，我们本可以… |
| [13:00] | …discussing Sydney and Michael and Jane? | 讨论悉尼，迈克尔和简 |
| [13:03] | And Billy and Jake and Allison. Yes, we could have discussed it. | 还有比利，杰克和爱丽森 是的，我们本可以讨论他们 |
| [13:08] | Why? Why were you so embarrassed? | 为什么啊？你为什么会那么尴尬？ |
| [13:10] | I’m gonna be taking this lie detector test. | 我要去测谎了 |
| [13:12] | That needle’s gonna be going wild. | 那指针会疯狂的转来转去 |
| [13:15] | This is so stupid. | 这太蠢了 |
| [13:18] | – Why don’t you just confess? – It’s too stupid to confess. | – 你为什么不干脆承认呢？ – 这太愚蠢了，我没法承认 |
| [13:22] | Look what I’m confessing to. | 看看我要承认些什么啊 |
| [13:24] | Well, what are you gonna do? | 那你要怎么办？ |
| [13:26] | I don’t know. Maybe I could beat the machine. | 我不知道，也许我可以击败测谎仪 |
| [13:29] | Who do you think you are, Costanza? | 你觉得你是谁啊，克斯坦萨？ |
| [13:33] | Hey, you know what? I have access to one of the most deceitful, duplicitous… | 嗨，你知道不？ 我能接近我们这个时代最为… |
| [13:37] | …deceptive minds of our time. Who better to advise me? | 骗人的，最会两面三刀的，最能制造假象的人 还有谁更适合教我俩招呢？ |
| [13:43] | Oh, God, this is terrible. | 哦，天哪，这太难喝了 |
| [13:45] | – Did you shake it up? – No. | – 你摇匀了吗？ – 没有 |
| [13:47] | – You gotta shake it up. – No. I’m sick of shaking. | – 你得摇匀啊 – 不，我讨厌摇匀 |
| [13:49] | You gotta shake everything. | 你什么都得摇摇 |
| [13:52] | Yeah, that’s a real nuisance. | 是啊，这可真够讨厌的 |
| [13:58] | Oh, this is killing me. | 噢，这要烦死我了 |
| [14:01] | – Yeah. – Yeah. | – 谁啊 – 我啊 |
| [14:03] | So I’m going out tonight with Robert… | 我今晚和罗伯特以及… |
| [14:08] | …and the boss and his wife. | 他老板还有他老板的老婆出去 |
| [14:10] | So tonight you gonna make the move? | 今晚你要迈出关键一步了？ |
| [14:12] | Yeah, I think I might. | 我觉得我会的 |
| [14:17] | Hey, there he is. | 嗨，他来了 |
| [14:19] | So, what happened? Could she detect it? | 怎么样啊？她能察觉出来吗？ |
| [14:22] | – That’s an interesting question. – How so? | – 这是个很有意思的问题 – 怎么回事？ |
| [14:24] | How so? | 怎么回事？ |
| [14:26] | I’ll tell you how so. | 我告诉你怎么回事 |
| [14:29] | She’s bald. | 她是个秃子 |
| [14:32] | What do you mean, “bald”? | 你什么意思，“秃子”？ |
| [14:34] | What do you think I mean? Bald. Bald. Bald, bald. | 你觉得我什么意思？ 秃子，秃子，秃子秃子 |
| [14:39] | – She’s bald? – She’s bald, Jerry. | – 她是个秃子？ – 她是个秃子，杰瑞 |
| [14:43] | – Oh, come on. – Oh, come on? | – 哦，得了吧 – 得了吧？ |
| [14:46] | No “come on.” She took off her hat, and there she was. | 不要说“得了吧” 她摘下了帽子，就在眼前 |
| [14:50] | “Hello.” | “你好” |
| [14:52] | It was like I was looking at myself in the mirror. | 就像我在照镜子一样 |
| [14:56] | Well, maybe she got a haircut or something. | 也许她是去理了个发或是怎么着 |
| [15:00] | You know, let me tell you something. | 我跟你说啊 |
| [15:01] | No one walks into a beauty parlor and says, “Give me the Larry Fine.” | 没有人会去理发店说 “给我剪个拉里・范的发型“ （喜剧演员，发型很滑稽） |
| [15:09] | Women go bald? | 女人谢顶了？ |
| [15:11] | Yeah, I’ve heard of that. I mean, they usually wear a wig. | 我听说过这事，她们通常戴假发啊 |
| [15:14] | – Hey, buddy. – Hey. | – 嗨，老兄 – 嗨 |
| [15:15] | Hey. | 嗨 |
| [15:17] | You fixed me up with a bald woman. | 你把我和一秃头女人凑成了一对 |
| [15:22] | – Bald? – Yeah, that’s right. | – 秃头？ – 没错 |
| [15:23] | Do you see the irony here? | 你看出这里的讽刺之处了吗？ |
| [15:26] | You’re rejecting somebody because they’re bald. | 你拒绝别人，因为他们秃头 |
| [15:31] | So? | 那又怎么样？ |
| [15:34] | You’re bald! | 你是秃头！ |
| [15:37] | No, I’m not. | 我不是 |
| [15:39] | I was bald. | 我曾经是 |
| [15:44] | Elaine. | 伊莲 |
| [15:46] | Hey, hey. Hey, come on. | 嘿，嘿，嘿，别闹 |
| [15:50] | No, no, no! Elaine! | 不，不，不！伊莲！ |
| [15:52] | I don’t like this thing! | 我不喜欢这东西！ |
| [15:55] | And here’s what I’m doing with it! | 现在我就要这么处理它！ |
| [15:57] | Don’t! | 不要！ |
| [16:14] | – You started that fight with me. – I figured that’s what couples do. | – 你跟我吵了那一架 – 我觉得夫妻都那样 |
| [16:18] | You almost convinced me we were a couple. | 你差点让我相信我们是夫妻了 |
| [16:21] | It was easy. Really. | 那挺容易的，真的 |
| [16:23] | Well, good night. I’ll call you tomorrow. | 晚安，我明天给你打电话 |
| [16:25] | Oh, wait a second. | 等一下 |
| [16:28] | Would you like to come upstairs? | 你想上去坐坐吗？ |
| [16:32] | Upstairs? | 上去？ |
| [16:34] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [16:36] | Upstairs? | 上去？ |
| [16:39] | Elaine… | 伊莲… |
| [16:41] | I was hoping, you know… | 我一直期待，你明白… |
| [16:43] | …you might be interested in changing teams. | 你也许会对改变队伍有兴趣 |
| [16:47] | Changing teams? | 改变队伍？ |
| [16:50] | Have you ever thought about it? | 你想过吗？ |
| [16:53] | But I’m a starting shortstop. | 但我一开始就是个游击队员 |
| [16:56] | Robert, we need a shortstop. | 罗伯特，我们需要游击队员 |
| [17:00] | Real bad. | 真的很需要 |
| [17:04] | When she threw that toupee out the window… | 当她把假发扔出窗户的时候 |
| [17:06] | …it was the best thing that ever happened to me. | 是我一生中发生的最美妙的事情 |
| [17:08] | I feel like my old self again: Totally inadequate, completely insecure… | 我感觉像以前那个自己一样： 完全的不够格，没有安全感… |
| [17:12] | …paranoid, neurotic. It’s a pleasure. | 多疑的，神经病，但快乐 |
| [17:15] | It’s good to have you back. | 很高兴你又变回来了 |
| [17:17] | You know what else I’ve decided to do? | 知道我还决定干什么了吗？ |
| [17:19] | I’m gonna keep seeing the bald woman. | 我要继续和那秃头女人约会 |
| [17:20] | She’s as good as anybody else. | 她和任何人一样好 |
| [17:23] | Scalp was clean. | 头皮很干净 |
| [17:26] | She had a nice skull. | 头骨很漂亮 |
| [17:29] | There just wasn’t a lot of hair on it. | 只是上面没多少头发罢了 |
| [17:31] | You know, you’ve had, like, a religious awakening. You’re like a bald-again. | 你就像宗教式的觉醒了，你回归秃头派了 |
| [17:36] | Gonna need a little more coffee here. | 这桌儿多来点咖啡 |
| [17:38] | So, George, how do I beat this lie detector? | 乔治,我怎么才能骗过测谎仪？ |
| [17:41] | I’m sorry. Jerry, I can’t help you. | 抱歉，杰瑞，我帮不了你 |
| [17:43] | You got the gift. You’re the only one that could help me. | 你有天赋啊，你是唯一能帮我的人 |
| [17:46] | Jerry, I can’t. | 杰瑞，我不能 |
| [17:48] | It’s like saying to Pavarotti, “Teach me to sing like you.” | 这就像跟帕瓦罗蒂说： “教我像你一样歌唱吧” |
| [17:54] | All right. Well, I gotta go take this test. | 好吧，我要去做这个测试 |
| [17:56] | I can’t believe I’m doing this. | 真不敢相信我会这么干 |
| [17:59] | Jerry, just remember: | 杰瑞，记住： |
| [18:02] | It’s not a lie if you believe it. | 如果你相信你的谎言 那它就不再是谎言了 |
| [18:12] | – Hey. | – Hey. I did it. – 嗨 – 嗨，我成功了 |
| [18:14] | – What? – I turned him. He defected. | – 什么？ – 我改变他的性取向了，他变节喽 |
| [18:17] | Get out. How? | 快说，怎么回事？ |
| [18:20] | – How did you do that? – Because I’m a woman. | – 你怎么办到的？ – 因为我是个女人 |
| [18:27] | Do you know what you’ve done? | 你知道你做了什么吗？ |
| [18:29] | You’ve given hope to every woman who’s ever said, “Too bad he’s gay.” | 你给了每一个曾经说过 “太糟了，他竟然是同性恋”的女人希望 |
| [18:32] | Well, it’s a lesson for the kids out there. Anything is possible. | 这是给外面的孩子们上了一课 凡事皆有可能 |
| [18:36] | Indeed. | 确实是 |
| [18:38] | Jeromy, I have hit the jackpot. The perfect man. | 小杰瑞，我大获成功了，完美的男人啊 |
| [18:42] | Nothing but sex and shopping. | 除了购物和做爱就什么都不干 |
| [19:14] | What’s your name? | 名字？ |
| [19:16] | Jerry Seinfeld. | 杰瑞・宋飞 |
| [19:17] | What is your address? | 地址？ |
| [19:19] | 129 West 81 st Street. | 81大街西129号 |
| [19:21] | Did Kimberly steal Jo’s baby? | 金佰利偷了乔的孩子吗？ （此处开始以下皆为《飞跃情海》剧情） |
| [19:29] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [19:31] | Did Billy sleep with Allison’s best friend? | 比尔和爱丽森最好的朋友上床了吗？ |
| [19:36] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [19:41] | Did Jane’s fiancé kidnap Sydney and take her to Las Vegas? | 简的未婚夫绑架了悉尼 把她带到拉斯维加斯了吗？ |
| [19:46] | And if so, did she enjoy it? | 如果他这样做了，她喜欢吗？ |
| [19:51] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [19:53] | Did Jane sleep with Michael again? | 简又和麦克上床了吗？ |
| [19:58] | Yes! | 是的！ |
| [19:59] | Yes. That stupid idiot. He left her for Kimberly. | 没错，那个大蠢货 他为了金佰利而离开她 |
| [20:02] | He slept with her sister, tricked her into giving him half her business. | 他跟她姐姐上床 耍阴谋让她把她半个公司都给了他 |
| [20:05] | Then she goes and sleeps with him again? | 然后她居然又和他上床？ |
| [20:07] | She’s crazy. How could she do something like that? That Jane! | 她疯了，她怎么能那么做？那个简啊 |
| [20:10] | Oh, she just makes me so mad! | 她简直让我抓狂！ |
| [20:18] | He went back? | 他回去了？ |
| [20:20] | What do you mean, he went back? | 你什么意思，他回去了？ |
| [20:22] | He went back. | 他回去了 |
| [20:23] | I don’t understand. You were having a great time. The sex, the shopping. | 我搞不懂 你们俩过得挺好啊，做爱，购物 |
| [20:27] | Well, here’s the thing. | 唉，关键是… |
| [20:32] | Being a woman… | 作为一个女人 |
| [20:33] | …I only really have access to the… | 我真的只能获得… |
| [20:38] | …equipment… | 装备… |
| [20:40] | …what, 30, 45 minutes a week? | 一礼拜30，45分钟？ |
| [20:43] | And that’s on a good week. | 这还得赶上好的一礼拜 |
| [20:45] | How can I be expected to have the same expertise… | 怎么能期待我和那些 |
| [20:48] | …as people who own this equipment… | 拥有这装备一整天 甚至一辈子能得到这装备的人 |
| [20:53] | …and have access to it 24 hours a day, their entire lives? | 有一样的专业技术？ |
| [20:58] | You can’t. | 你办不到 |
| [20:59] | That’s why they lose very few players. | 这就是为什么他们那支队伍很少失去队员 |
| [21:04] | Yeah, I guess I never really stood a chance. | 我猜我从没有过机会 |
| [21:06] | Well, there’s always a place for you on our team. | 我们这支队伍里一直为你留有位置 |
| [21:10] | Yeah, thanks. | 谢谢了 |
| [21:13] | Is Melrose Place on? | 《飞跃情海》开始了吗？ |
| [21:15] | – Yeah, coming on in a few minutes. – Okay. | – 嗯，马上就开始 – 好的 |
| [21:21] | Hey. Don’t worry, it hasn’t started. | 嗨，别着急，还没开始呢 |
| [21:26] | Hey, you know, George, I am really proud of you. | 乔治，我真为你骄傲 |
| [21:29] | I really do admire what you’ve done. | 我确实很欣赏你所做的 |
| [21:32] | Do you? | 是吗？ |
| [21:34] | That makes me so happy. | 这让我很高兴 |
| [21:38] | Elaine’s proud of me, Jerry. | 伊莲为我感到骄傲，杰瑞 |
| [21:40] | What is the matter? | 怎么了？ |
| [21:42] | I got rejected by a bald woman. | 我被一秃头女人拒绝了 |
| [21:46] | – What? – A bald woman rejected me. | – 什么？ – 一个秃头女人拒绝了我 |
| [21:49] | You like that one? | 你喜欢这事吗？ |
| [21:51] | A woman with no prospects and no hair told me that I wasn’t her type. | 一个长得不怎么样的秃子 跟我说我不是她的类型 |
| [21:56] | Apparently baldy likes a slimmer guy. | 很明显，小秃秃喜欢小瘦子 |
| [21:59] | Well, I’ll tell you what I think. | 我跟你说我是怎么想的吧 |
| [22:01] | I think she saw you with that piece off and was devastated. | 我觉得吧，她看见你摘掉假发，万分惊讶 |
| [22:06] | You blew it, boy. You really blew it! | 你把这事毁了，哥们，你真的毁了这事 |
| [22:11] | And you had to ruin it for him, didn’t you? | 还有你，你非得替他毁掉这事，是不是？ |
| [22:15] | I didn’t ruin anything. He looked like an idiot. | 我什么都没毁，他那样看起来像个白痴 |
| [22:18] | – No. – And it made him act like a jerk. | – 不是 – 而且假发让他跟蠢货似的 |
| [22:20] | All right. Shut up. Shut up. Melrose Place is coming on. | 好了，闭嘴吧，《飞跃情海》要开始了 |
| [22:30] | Oh, that Michael. I hate him. He’s just so smug. | 啊，那个迈克尔，我讨厌死他了 他真够自以为是的 |
| [22:45] | Hey, how you doing, Stu? Eddie, my man, huh? | 嗨，你怎么样啊，斯图？ 艾迪，你呢，我的老伙计？ |
| [22:50] | You again? Boy, you’re a slippery one. | 又是你？老兄，你可真是个滑头啊 |
| [22:54] | You better straighten up and fly right, buddy boy. | 你最好收拾东西赶快逃吧，老兄 |
| [22:56] | – What do you got? – An eyewitness… | – 你那什么情况？ – 一个珠宝店抢劫案的… |
| [22:58] | …to that jewelry store break-in. | 目击证人 |
| [23:00] | Come here. | 过来 |
| [23:03] | Do you recognize anybody in this lineup? | 这些人里你认出谁了吗？ |
| [23:08] | That’s the guy, officer. The guy there in the middle. | 就是他，长官，中间那个 |
| [23:11] | The tall guy with the high hair. I’d recognize him anywhere. | 个子很高的，头发立着的那个 他烧成灰我都认识 |
| [23:15] | Hey, you. You with the high hair. | 嘿，你，头发立着的那个 |
| [23:18] | Step forward. | 往前迈一步 |
| [23:21] | Me? | 我？ |