| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Monkeys are the end of the line in the pet world. | 在宠物界中，猴子的排名算是靠后 |
| [00:06] | At that level of pet ownership… | 如果你想要一只猴子当宠物 |
| [00:08] | …have a kid. I mean, come on. I mean, you’re so close. | 还不如要个小孩 两者几乎没有差别嘛 |
| [00:12] | If you need a pet that can roller-skate and smoke cigars… | 如果你想要只能既会玩轮滑 又会抽雪茄的宠物… |
| [00:16] | …it’s time to think about a family. | 那么是时候考虑成个家了 |
| [00:19] | Monkeys, of course, were the first astronauts, in the ’60s… | 当然，在六十年代 猴子可是第一批宇航员… |
| [00:22] | …which I’m sure made perfect sense in the monkey brain. | 当然了，我相信他们 当时一定胸有成竹 |
| [00:25] | “I feel that is the next logical step for me. | “我觉得这对于我来说 是必然的一步 |
| [00:28] | I’ve been working with the Italian guy and the crank organ… | 我能和意大利人和手摇风琴合作… （街头艺人，常为意大利人指挥猴子摇风琴） |
| [00:31] | …and I think I’m ready to handle the maximum-reentry G-forces.” | 我想我已经准备好重回地球了” |
| [00:36] | -=THE LAST FANTASY=- | |
| [00:40] | “脸部彩绘” “脸部彩绘” | |
| [00:42] | Take toilet paper, for example. | 比方说厕纸这东西 |
| [00:44] | Do you realize that toilet paper has not changed in my lifetime? | 在我这辈子，厕纸从没变化过 你想过吗？ |
| [00:50] | It’s just paper on a cardboard roll. That’s it. | 不过是卷在纸卷上的一堆纸巾 仅此而已 |
| [00:53] | And in 10,000 years, it will still be exactly the same… | 而且在未来的一万年里 它也不会有任何变化… |
| [00:56] | …because, really, what else can they do? | 因为，说真的 他们还有别的用途吗？ |
| [01:00] | Yeah, that’s true. | 是的，没错 |
| [01:02] | There really has been no development in toilet paper. | 厕纸就从来没进化过 |
| [01:04] | And, I mean, everything else has changed. | 别的东西都变了 |
| [01:07] | But toilet paper is exactly the same, and will be so until we’re dead. | 但厕纸一成不变 就算到了我们死的那天也一样 |
| [01:13] | Yeah, you’re right, George. | 是啊，你说得对，乔治 |
| [01:16] | What else can they do? | 厕纸还有其他用途吗？ |
| [01:17] | It’s just paper on a roll. That’s it, and that’s all it will ever be. | 只不过是一卷纸而已，不过如此 而且永远是这样 |
| [01:24] | You find this interesting, don’t you? | 有趣吧？ |
| [01:26] | Yes. Yes, I do. | 是的，没错，真有意思 |
| [01:38] | Oh, thanks very much. The soup was really good. | 哦，谢谢，这汤真好喝 |
| [01:44] | – What are you telling him for? – What? | – 你干嘛跟他说这些？ – 什么？ |
| [01:47] | He’s the busboy. You think he cares about the soup? | 他只是个杂工 你觉得他在乎这汤吗？ |
| [01:50] | Yeah, why, wouldn’t he want the soup to be good? | 当然，怎么了 难道他不希望这汤好喝吗？ |
| [01:53] | Elaine, it’s all this guy can do to keep from killing himself. | 伊莲，这是这人活下去的唯一盼头？？？ |
| [01:57] | Come on. | 哦天啊 |
| [01:58] | You think he’s back there with the chef, going, “Hey, they like the soup! | 你以为他正在厨房里对着厨师大叫 “他们爱死这汤了！… |
| [02:02] | Keep it up.” | 继续加油！” |
| [02:04] | – Hey, isn’t that Alec Berg? – Yeah. | – 嘿，那不是埃里克・伯格吗？ – 没错 |
| [02:07] | Alec Berg. He’s got a good John Houseman name. | 埃里克・伯格，他的名字“很约翰・豪斯曼” （老牌影星） |
| [02:10] | – Yeah. – Alec Berg. | – 是吗 – 埃里克・伯格 |
| [02:12] | Mr. Berg. | 伯格先生 |
| [02:15] | I can’t stand him. He is so pretentious. | 我真受不了他 他太做作了，自以为是 |
| [02:18] | – John Houseman? – No, Alec Berg. | – 约翰・豪斯曼？ – 不，是埃里克・伯格 |
| [02:19] | – Elaine! How are you? – Hi! | – 伊莲！你好吗？ – 嗨！ |
| [02:21] | – Jerry. – Hi, Alec. | – 杰瑞 – 嗨，埃里克 |
| [02:23] | – Did you hear about Gary Fogel? – Yeah. | – 你听说了加利・佛吉尔的事了吗？ – 听说了 |
| [02:25] | – You gonna go to the funeral Friday? – Yeah, yeah. | – 周五的葬礼你去吗？ – 去，当然去 |
| [02:27] | Hey, did I see you on TV at the Ranger game? | 嘿，你去看流浪者队的比赛了吧？ 我在电视上看到你了 |
| [02:30] | – Those your seats behind the glass? – Those are them. Season tickets. | – 你就坐在界墙后面？ – 我的位子在那儿，是季票 |
| [02:33] | Unfortunately, I can’t go tonight. They’re available, if you’d like them. | 可惜我今晚去不了了 你们要是要的话，就给你们 |
| [02:38] | I’d love to. Are you sure? | 好啊，你确定？ |
| [02:39] | Sure. Call my secretary. She’ll arrange everything. | 当然，打电话给我秘书 她会安排一切 |
| [02:42] | – Thanks. Thanks a lot. – It’s my pleasure. Be good. | – 谢拉，多谢 – 不用谢，多保重 |
| [02:46] | I actually might not use them on Friday either, so I’ll let you know. | 事实上，周五的票我可能也用不上了 我再通知你吧 |
| [02:51] | All right. Thanks again. | 好的，再次感谢 |
| [02:52] | Thank you very much. | 实在是太感谢了 |
| [02:54] | Really, thank you. | 真的，谢谢 |
| [03:00] | Well, what about these nitwits that get on a plane with nothing to read? | 那么，那些不带书上飞机的傻子呢？ |
| [03:04] | – You know who they are? – Who? | – 你知道他们是什么样的人吗？ – 什么人？ |
| [03:05] | These are the people that wanna talk to you. | 那些人就想跟你聊天 |
| [03:08] | They got nothing else to do, why not disturb you? | 既然他们没别的事好干 为什么不来打扰打扰你呢？ |
| [03:10] | I will never understand people. | 我真搞不懂人类 |
| [03:13] | They’re the worst. | 他们最糟糕了 |
| [03:17] | Something’s up | |
| [03:20] | There’s something in the air | |
| [03:24] | Well, what is with you? | 你怎么啦？ |
| [03:26] | Well… | 这个嘛… |
| [03:28] | …I think this is it. | 我觉得是时候了 |
| [03:30] | What’s it? | 怎么回事？ |
| [03:31] | – I saw Siena again. – Siena? | – 我又跟希娜约会去了 – 希娜？ |
| [03:35] | He’s dating a crayon. | 他正和一蜡笔约会呢 |
| [03:40] | We discussed toilet paper. | 我们讨论了厕纸 |
| [03:43] | – Toilet paper? – Yep, yep. | – 厕纸？ – 是滴，是滴 |
| [03:46] | I told her how toilet paper hasn’t changed in my lifetime… | 我告诉她厕纸不仅在我的一生里… |
| [03:48] | …and probably wouldn’t for the next 50,000 years… | 甚至在未来五万年内都不会改变… |
| [03:51] | …and she was fascinated, fascinated! | 她可着迷了，神魂颠倒的！ |
| [03:55] | – What are you talking about? – Yeah. | – 你说什么呢？ – 就是 |
| [03:56] | – Toilet paper’s changed. – Yeah. | – 厕纸变过阿 – 对呀 |
| [03:58] | – It’s softer. – Softer. | – 变得更加柔软 – 更柔软 |
| [03:59] | – More sheets per roll. – Sheets. | – 一卷纸里抽数更多了 – 抽数多了 |
| [04:01] | – A wide variety of colors. – Colors. | – 颜色多种多样 – 五彩斑斓 |
| [04:03] | Okay, fine. Fine! | 好啦，好啦！ |
| [04:05] | It’s changed! It’s not really the point. | 厕纸变过！这不是重点 |
| [04:08] | Anyway, I’m thinking of making a big move. | 不管怎么样，我想更进一步 |
| [04:11] | What? | 什么？ |
| [04:13] | I might tell her that I love her. | 我想告诉她我爱她 |
| [04:17] | Oh, my. | 哦，我的神阿 |
| [04:20] | I came this close last night, and then I just sort of chickened out. | 昨晚我差点就说了，不过我怯场了 |
| [04:24] | Well, that’s a big move, Georgie boy. | 那可是进了一大步啊，小乔治 |
| [04:27] | Are you confident in the “I love you” return? | 她会回答“我爱你”吗？你有信心？ |
| [04:31] | Fifty-fifty. | 一半一半吧 |
| [04:33] | Because if you don’t get that return… | 要是她不这么回答… |
| [04:35] | …that’s a pretty big matzo ball hanging out there. | 那就尴尬啦 像悬着个巨型犹太肉丸呢？？？ |
| [04:41] | Well, I just gotta say it once. Everybody else gets to say it. | 我就是一定得说一次 别人都有机会说 |
| [04:45] | Why can’t I say it? | 为什么我不能说？ |
| [04:47] | What, you never said it? | 什么，你没说过我爱你？ |
| [04:48] | Once. To a dog. | 就一次，对一只狗 |
| [04:52] | He licked himself and left the room. | 他舔了舔自己就走了 |
| [04:56] | Well, so it wasn’t a total loss. | 呵，至少还赚了点 |
| [05:00] | – Hey. – Hey, I forgot to tell you. | – 嘿 – 嘿，我忘了告诉你 |
| [05:03] | I got tickets to the Rangers-Devils playoff tonight. | 我搞到今晚流浪者 对恶魔夺冠赛的票了 |
| [05:05] | Oh, I’m there. | 好，我去 |
| [05:08] | – What about you, George? – Can’t do it, can’t do it. | – 你呢，乔治？ – 去不了，去不了啦 |
| [05:11] | – Sorry. Got a date. – So? So? | – 不好意思，有约会 – 所以呢？ |
| [05:13] | No, no, no, if you must know… | 不，不，你们想知道的话… |
| [05:16] | …I would rather be with her than go to the game. | 比起和你们去看比赛 我更愿意和她在一起 |
| [05:21] | Well, she must be a very special lady, huh, George? | 那么她一定是个特别的姑娘吧 对吧，乔治？ |
| [05:24] | – What do I do with the extra ticket? – Oh, hey! | – 那多出来的票怎么办啊？ – 哦，对了！ |
| [05:27] | Can I bring David Puddy? | 我能带上大卫・普蒂吗？ |
| [05:28] | – He’s a big Devils fan. – Sure, fine with me. | – 他可是超级恶魔迷哦 – 当然啦，我无所谓 |
| [05:30] | Hey, by the way, if anybody wants an inside tour of the zoo… | 顺便说一下 如果你们谁想探访动物园内部世界… |
| [05:34] | …Siena works there as a trainer. | 希娜在那里当驯兽师 |
| [05:36] | – So she works at the zoo? – Yeah. | – 她在动物园工作？ – 没错 |
| [05:39] | Yeah, like Dian Fossey, huh? | 是嘛，就像戴安・佛西？ （著名动植物学家，致力于保护猩猩） |
| [05:41] | She’s the only person that’s ever been accepted into gorilla society. | 她可是融入大猩猩社会的唯一人类呢 |
| [05:44] | And you know, once those gorillas accept you… | 而且，一旦大猩猩接纳了你… |
| [05:47] | …you got it made in the shade. | 你得在树荫里过了 |
| [05:51] | So how long have you been a Devils fan? | 你喜欢恶魔队多久了？ |
| [05:53] | – Since I was a kid. I’m from Jersey. – Yeah? | – 从小时候开始，我从新泽西来的 – 是吗？ |
| [05:56] | – We’re gonna kick your butts tonight. – Ain’t no way, man! | – 我们今晚一定会好好教训你们的 – 不可能的，老兄！ |
| [06:01] | – Yes. – We’re primed. | – 会的 – 我们可是一流的 |
| [06:04] | You almost ready? Jerry and Kramer are gonna be here any second. | 准备好了吗？杰瑞和克莱默快到了 |
| [06:12] | – What the…? – So, what do you think? | – 这到底…？ – 怎么样？ |
| [06:14] | – What is that? – I painted my face. | – 这到底是什么？ – 我在脸上彩绘了 |
| [06:17] | – You painted your face? – Yeah. | – 你把你的脸给画了？ – 没错 |
| [06:20] | – Why? – Well, you know, support the team. | – 为什么？ – 你知道的，给球队加油 |
| [06:24] | – Well, you can’t walk around like that. – Why not? | – 可你不能这样走来走去阿 – 为什么不行？ |
| [06:29] | Because… | 因为… |
| [06:30] | …it’s insane. | 这简直有病 |
| [06:32] | You gotta let them know you’re out there. This is the playoffs. | 你得让他们知道你在支持他们 这可是夺冠赛 |
| [06:42] | – Hey. – Hi. | – 嗨 – 嗨 |
| [06:45] | Dave’s… | 戴夫他… |
| [06:47] | …painted his face. | 做了脸部彩绘 |
| [06:49] | Yeah, yeah, that’s cool. You gotta support your team. | 哇，太酷了，你得支持你们队 |
| [06:52] | – Okay. Ready to go? – Yeah. | – 好啦，出发？ – 好的 |
| [06:53] | Let’s get it on! All right! Go Devils! | 打起精神来！好嘞！恶魔冲啊！ |
| [06:56] | Go Devils! Let’s go, Devils! | 恶魔加油！冲啊，恶魔队！ |
| [07:07] | You stink, Messier! | 你太烂了，梅西尔！ |
| [07:09] | We’re gonna get you, Messier! | 你等着送死吧，梅西尔！ |
| [07:11] | Will you sit down? | 你能坐下吗？ |
| [07:12] | Hey, man, I’m just trying to support the team. | 嘿，我只是在为球队加油 |
| [07:15] | Will you sit down? You’re disturbing everybody. Sit down! | 你能坐下吗？ 你影响到别人啦，坐下！ |
| [07:18] | Because you’re a Rangers fan and you know I’m messing with their heads. | 就因为你们是流浪者迷 而我正给他们添乱 |
| [07:22] | Yeah, Devils goal! | 冲啊，恶魔进球！ |
| [07:27] | Devils goal! Stephane Richer scores from just inside the blue line. | “恶魔队进球 史蒂芬・瑞奇尔从蓝线内围攻入一球… |
| [07:31] | And the Devils… | 恶魔队的球员们…” |
| [07:34] | Well, you know, I could’ve actually gone tonight. | 嗯，今晚我其实可以去的 |
| [07:38] | So why didn’t you? | 那为什么没去呢？ |
| [07:40] | Well, I didn’t wanna break our date. | 我不想错过我们的约会 |
| [07:42] | Oh, well… | 哦，是吗 |
| [07:46] | Because I… | 因为我… |
| [07:51] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [07:52] | You know, I’m hungry. Let’s get something to eat. | 嘿，我饿了，我们去吃点什么吧 |
| [07:59] | We took it to you. | 我们狠狠的赢了你们 |
| [08:00] | You couldn’t get it out of your zone. We were aggressive. | 你们甚至都冲不出你们区 我们干劲可大了 |
| [08:03] | – We didn’t let you penetrate. – That’s enough out of you. | – 我们根本没让你们突破 – 你说够了吧 |
| [08:06] | There’s still three more games left in this series, my friend… | 这组还有三场比赛呢，朋友… |
| [08:09] | …and it’s far from being over, very far from being over. | 我们走着瞧 还早着呢 |
| [08:14] | Hey, what are you doing? Watch where you’re driving, man! | 你干嘛阿？ 开车小心点，你这家伙！ |
| [08:18] | Don’t mess with a Devil, buddy. We’re number one. We beat anybody. | 别惹恶魔，伙计 我们是最强的，我们战无不胜 |
| [08:21] | We’re the Devils! | 我们是恶魔！ |
| [08:23] | The Devils! | 恶魔！ |
| [08:34] | “I’m hungry. | “我饿了… |
| [08:36] | Let’s get something to eat.” | 我们去吃点什么吧” |
| [08:42] | Yep. | 没错 |
| [08:46] | – Big matzo ball. – Huge matzo ball. | – 真尴尬 – 不是一般的尴尬阿 |
| [08:51] | Those damn “I love you” returns. | 那些该死的“我爱你” |
| [08:54] | – Well, it’s all over. I slipped up. – Oh, you don’t know. | – 好吧，都完了，我失败了 – 哦，不一定的 |
| [08:57] | You know how fast things deteriorate… | 你知道当说出了“我爱你”… |
| [08:59] | …when there’s an “I love you” out of the bag? | 事情砸得有多快吗？ |
| [09:01] | You can’t have a relationship where one person says, “I love you”… | 没有这样的恋爱的… |
| [09:04] | …and the other one says, “I’m hungry. Let’s get something to eat.” | 当一个人说“我爱你” 另一个说“我饿了，我们去吃点什么吧” |
| [09:08] | Unless you’re married. | 除非你们结婚了 |
| [09:13] | She thinks I’m one of these guys that loves her. | 她一定觉得我是那种傻傻爱着她的人 |
| [09:15] | Nobody wants somebody that loves them. | 没人会对爱他们的人有兴趣的 |
| [09:17] | – No. People hate that. – You want somebody… | – 对，人们讨厌那样 – 一个人不喜欢你… |
| [09:20] | …who doesn’t like you. – Ideally. | – 你才想得到他 – 可不是 |
| [09:22] | I am never saying “I love you” again unless they say it first. | 我再也不说“我爱你”了 除非她们先说 |
| [09:25] | – Matzo ball soup? – That would be me. | – 犹太肉丸汤？ – 我的 |
| [09:36] | Hey, Jerry, you’re a smart guy, right? | 杰瑞，你很聪明对吧？ |
| [09:40] | – No question about it. – All right. | – 那当然 – 好嘞 |
| [09:41] | I was supposed to go on this special tour with George’s girlfriend. | 我本来要和乔治的女朋友 一起做内部参观的 |
| [09:45] | – At the zoo? – Yeah. But before I met up with her… | – 去动物园？ – 没错，不过在见她之前… |
| [09:48] | …I stopped to look at the monkeys… | 我看了一会儿猴子 |
| [09:50] | …when all of a sudden I am hit in the face with a banana peel. | 突然我的脸被香蕉皮砸个正着 |
| [09:56] | I turn and look, and there is this monkey… | 我一转身发现有只猴子… |
| [09:59] | …really laughing it up. | 居然在嘲笑我 |
| [10:02] | Then someone tells me that he did it. | 然后有人说是他干的 |
| [10:04] | Well, I pick up the banana peel… | 我就捡起香蕉皮… |
| [10:07] | …and I wait for that monkey to turn around, and then l: | 等那猴子一转身，我… |
| [10:12] | I let him have it. | 来个以牙还牙 |
| [10:13] | Kramer, you threw a banana peel at a monkey? | 克莱默，你用香蕉皮砸一只猴子？ |
| [10:16] | Well, he started it! | 拜托，他先砸我的！ |
| [10:20] | – It’s a monkey, Kramer! – Well, he pushed my buttons. | – 那只是只猴子，克莱默！ – 可是他把我给惹火了 |
| [10:23] | I couldn’t help it, Jerry. | 我忍不住，杰瑞 |
| [10:26] | Well, I still think it’s wrong. | 可是我还是觉得这样不好 |
| [10:27] | All right, fine. You take the monkey’s side. Go ahead. | 好，你要站在猴子那边，随便你 |
| [10:31] | – I’m not taking anyone’s side. – I know what happened, Jerry. | – 我谁都不支持 – 鬼才信你，杰瑞 |
| [10:36] | Did you call Alec Berg and thank him for the hockey tickets? | 你打电话给埃里克・伯格了吗？ 谢谢他给的冰球票 |
| [10:39] | – No. – Oh, Jerry, what are you waiting for? | – 没有 – 杰瑞，为什么不打啊？ |
| [10:41] | Why am I gonna call? I thanked him five times when he gave them to me. | 为什么要打？ 他给我票的时候我谢了五次 |
| [10:46] | Call him the next day. It’s common courtesy. | 第二天打电话致谢，这是礼貌 |
| [10:48] | No. I’m taking a stand against all this over-thanking. | 不，我坚决反对这种过头的感谢 |
| [10:51] | Jerry, good manners are the glue of society. | 杰瑞，礼貌让社会融合 |
| [10:54] | If I knew I had to give him 8 million thank-yous… | 如果我得说8百万次谢谢… |
| [10:57] | …I wouldn’t have taken the tickets. | 我就不会拿那些票了 |
| [10:59] | You know what this is gonna do? He’ll be upset because you didn’t call. | 你知道后果吗？ 因为你没打电话，他会不高兴 |
| [11:02] | We won’t get the tickets for Friday. | 就不会给我们周五的票了 |
| [11:04] | – You’re out of your mind. – Where are you going? | – 你疯了 – 你去哪儿 |
| [11:06] | I gotta get a suit cleaned. I have a funeral on Friday. | 拿套西服去干洗，周五有个葬礼 |
| [11:09] | – Who died? – Do you remember the guy… | – 谁死了？ – 你记得那个… |
| [11:10] | …who pretended he had cancer so I would buy him the toupee? | 假装得了癌症 骗我给他买假发的人吗？ |
| [11:15] | – So he actually had it? – No, car accident. | – 他真得了癌症了？ – 不是，是车祸 |
| [11:20] | He was adjusting his toupee while he was driving… | 他在开车时整理他的假发… |
| [11:23] | …and he lost control of the car. | 然后就撞了 |
| [11:28] | That poor priest. | 可怜的神父啊 |
| [11:31] | He was just visiting from El Salvador. | 他刚从萨尔瓦多来 |
| [11:34] | Now he’s gone completely loco. | 现在他完全疯了 |
| [11:37] | – The one Puddy screamed at? – Yeah. | – 上次被普蒂吼的那个神父？ – 对呀 |
| [11:40] | He thinks he saw the devil. | 他以为他真看见恶魔了 |
| [11:44] | He won’t leave his room in the church basement. | 他呆在教堂地下室里不肯出来 |
| [11:46] | That’s what you get for getting mixed up with a face-painter. | 这就是和画脸男扯不清楚关系的后果 |
| [11:49] | What compels a seemingly normal human to do something like that? | 正常人为什么会做这种事呢 |
| [11:54] | Gotta support the team. | 支持球队啊 |
| [12:09] | You know, I really hate my clothes. | 我真讨厌我的衣服 |
| [12:12] | I open up my closet, there’s just nothing. Nothing. | 打开我的衣橱，里面都是垃圾 |
| [12:15] | I hate everything I have. I really hate it. | 我讨厌我的东西，真的 |
| [12:27] | I mean, at this point, it’s… | 我的意思是，一定程度上… |
| [12:29] | It’s like I can wear something three or four times and that’s it. | 衣服穿上三四次就腻了 |
| [12:33] | It’s getting to be a terrible problem for me. | 这会变成大麻烦的 |
| [12:39] | Hey, Alec. | 嘿，埃里克 |
| [12:44] | Did you see that? | 瞧见没？ |
| [12:46] | What kind of a hello was that? | 有这么打招呼的吗？ |
| [12:51] | Mr. Kramer, thanks for coming. | 克莱默先生，您能来太好了 |
| [12:53] | So, what did you wanna see me about? | 恩，有什么事吗？ |
| [12:57] | Well, Mr. Kramer, to get right to it… | 克莱默先生，开门见山吧… |
| [13:00] | …we’re having a bit of a problem with Barry. | 贝利出了些问题 |
| [13:05] | – Barry? – The chimpanzee. | – 贝利？ – 那只黑猩猩 |
| [13:09] | Well, what’s the problem? | 那，出了什么问题？ |
| [13:11] | Well, he’s not functioning the way he normally does. | 他和平常不太一样 |
| [13:14] | He seems depressed. He’s lost his appetite. | 他很低落，也没什么胃口 |
| [13:18] | He’s even curtailed his autoerotic activities. | 他甚至减少了“自我满足”的次数 |
| [13:24] | And we think this is directly related to the altercation he had with you. | 我们认为这与他和你的争执有直接关系 |
| [13:28] | So? So, what do you want me to do? | 所以你想让我做什么吗？ |
| [13:31] | Well, frankly… | 这个，说实话… |
| [13:32] | …we’d like you to apologize. | 我们希望你能向他道歉 |
| [13:36] | Well, he started it. | 可是是他先扔我的 |
| [13:39] | Mr. Kramer, he’s an innocent primate. | 克莱默先生 他只是只无辜的灵长目动物 |
| [13:41] | So am I. | 我也是啊 |
| [13:45] | What about my feelings? Don’t my feelings count? | 谁关心我的感受？ 我的感受就不重要啦？ |
| [13:48] | Only the poor monkey’s important. Everything’s done for the monkey. | 可怜的猴子才最重要 事事以猴子为本 |
| [13:54] | Look, I’m sorry. I… | 对不起，我… |
| [13:56] | Hey, that’s okay. | 没关系的 |
| [13:59] | Well, I gotta go feed the marmoset. | 恩，我得喂长尾猴去了 |
| [14:01] | You know, George really likes you. | 乔治很喜欢你，你知道吗？ |
| [14:04] | I don’t… | 我没… |
| [14:06] | Oh, she doesn’t hear too well out of her left ear. | 哦，她左耳听力不太好 |
| [14:12] | Do you think it’s possible… | 你觉得这有可能吗？ |
| [14:13] | …that he’s mad at me because he didn’t get the day-after thank-you? | 第二天我没谢谢他 所以他生气了 |
| [14:17] | – Wait. You were at a funeral, right? – Yeah. | – 等等，你们当时正参加葬礼，是吧？ – 对 |
| [14:20] | Well, people never give a good hello at the funeral. | 葬礼上，人们从来不好好打招呼的 |
| [14:23] | I mean, they go like this: | 他们都这样： |
| [14:28] | – That’s the biggest. – That’s kind of what he gave me. | – 最多这么做 – 他就是这么跟我打招呼的 |
| [14:31] | Yeah, they can’t go, “Hey! You look fabulous!” | 嘿，他们总不能这样 “嘿！你帅呆了！” |
| [14:35] | – Hey. | – Hey. – 嘿 – 嘿 |
| [14:37] | I just spoke to your girlfriend. | 我刚和你女朋友说话了 |
| [14:39] | – Girlfriend. Yeah, right. – She asked me to apologize to Barry. | – 女朋友，算了吧 – 她让我向贝利道歉 |
| [14:44] | – Barry? – The monkey. | – 贝利？ – 那只猴子 |
| [14:46] | – Well? – Nothing doing. | – 然后呢？ – 没了 |
| [14:49] | Jerry, I didn’t do anything. | 杰瑞，我才不干呢 |
| [14:50] | It’s the monkey that should be apologizing to me. | 那只猴子才该道歉 |
| [14:53] | – I don’t think that’s gonna happen. – Well, I’m sorry. | – 那倒没有可能 – 那就没办法了 |
| [14:57] | I tried to put the good word in for you with Siena… | 我试着帮你说好话… |
| [15:00] | …but I don’t think she heard me. You know, left ear. | 不过她好像没听见 你知道的，她的左耳 |
| [15:04] | – What? – Yeah, her boss told me… | – 什么？ – 对，他老板告诉我… |
| [15:07] | …that she can’t hear very well out of her left ear. | 她左耳听力不太好 |
| [15:09] | What, you didn’t know that? | 你不知道吗？ |
| [15:12] | – Oh, my God. – What? | – 天啊 – 怎么啦？ |
| [15:14] | She probably never heard it. Don’t you see what this means? | 她可能根本没听到 你们知道这意味着什么吗？ |
| [15:18] | It’s like the whole thing never happened. | 这整件事就像没发生过一样 |
| [15:21] | It’s like when Superman reversed the rotation of the Earth to save Lois Lane. | 就像超人逆转地球去救露易丝・莱恩一样 （超人系列中超人曾光速逆地球轨道飞行以使时光倒流拯救爱人） |
| [15:28] | Are you gonna say it again? | 你要再说一遍我爱你吗？ |
| [15:32] | That’s the question, Jimmy. | 这倒是个问题，吉米 |
| [15:44] | – I’m gonna do it. – What? | – 我要再表白一次 – 什么？ |
| [15:46] | After what you went through? You said you’d never say it again. | 受的罪还不够吗？ 你说你不再表白的 |
| [15:49] | I’d like to say it once to someone that can actually hear it! | 我就想再表白一次 这次至少对方能真的听见！ |
| [15:54] | – Yeah! – Hey, buddy. | – 没错！ – 嘿，伙计 |
| [15:56] | – Boy, what’s going on? – He’s gonna talk into her other ear. | – 怎么啦？ – 他准备对着她另外一支耳朵表白 |
| [16:01] | Listen, I almost forgot to ask you. What happened at the funeral? | 听着，我差点忘了问你 葬礼上发生了什么？ |
| [16:04] | Did you talk to Alec Berg? | 你和埃里克・伯格说话了吗？ |
| [16:07] | – Yeah, I saw him. – So he’ll give you the hockey tickets? | – 恩，我遇到他了 – 那他会把冰球票给你吗？ |
| [16:10] | Well, not exactly. | 难说 |
| [16:12] | He’s mad, isn’t he? See, I knew it. | 他生气了，对吧，我就知道会这样 |
| [16:15] | – I don’t know if he’s mad. – What happened when you saw him? | – 我不确定他是不是生气了 – 当时情况怎么样？ |
| [16:19] | I didn’t really get a good hello. But I was at a funeral. | 他没好好跟我打招呼 不过那是在葬礼上 |
| [16:22] | So I don’t know if I got a funeral hello… | 所以我不确定那是个葬礼式的招呼… |
| [16:24] | …or he was mad because he didn’t get his day-after thank-you. | 或者他因为没接到致谢电话生气了 |
| [16:27] | – See? I told you, Jerry! I told you! – What do you want me to do? | – 你看看，我告诉你了，杰瑞！我提醒过你！ – 那你想怎么样？ |
| [16:30] | I want you to get on this phone and give him his thank-you! | 我要你打电话给他，谢谢他 |
| [16:35] | No. No, I can’t! | 不行，不行，我不干 |
| [16:37] | Jerry, this is the way society functions. Aren’t you a part of society? | 杰瑞，社会就是这样的 你不是社会的一分子吗？ |
| [16:42] | Because if you don’t wanna be a part of society… | 要是你不想融入社会… |
| [16:44] | …why don’t you just get in your car and move to the East Side. | 干脆坐上车搬到东区去吧 |
| [16:52] | Look, we got five hours before the game. | 听着，距离比赛开始还有五个小时 |
| [16:54] | I am betting it was a funeral hello. | 我敢打赌那是个葬礼式招呼 |
| [16:57] | We’re here. He knows the number. He knows we wanna go. | 我们哪儿也没去，他知道我们的号码 他知道我们想去 |
| [17:00] | There’s plenty of time for him to call. | 他要是想打电话早打了 |
| [17:02] | You stubborn, stupid, silly man! | 你这个固执，愚蠢的傻瓜！ |
| [17:08] | Hey, great dip. You make this? | 这沙拉真好吃，你做的？ |
| [17:10] | No, it’s from the store. | 不是，是买的 |
| [17:12] | Hey, how come people don’t have dip for dinner? Why is it only a snack? | 为什么不把沙拉当晚餐呢？ 为什么只把它当点心？ |
| [17:18] | I don’t understand stuff like that. | 真搞不懂 |
| [17:27] | David… | 大卫… |
| [17:29] | – David, I think we ought to talk. – All right, that’s cool. | – 大卫，我们得谈谈 – 行啊，没问题 |
| [17:40] | David, I don’t think we should see each other anymore. | 大卫，我觉得我们还是分手吧 |
| [17:43] | You gotta be kidding. How come? | 你开玩笑的吧，为什么？ |
| [17:47] | Well, you see, David… | 恩，是这样的，大卫… |
| [17:49] | …you’re a face-painter. | 你喜欢在脸上彩绘 |
| [17:52] | Yeah, that’s right. | 是啊，没错 |
| [17:55] | Well, it’s not that I don’t like you… | 不是我不喜欢你… |
| [17:59] | …but, well, to be perfectly honest… | 只是，说实话… |
| [18:02] | …I’m just having some trouble getting past the face-painting. | 我接受不了脸部彩绘 |
| [18:07] | So you don’t like the face-painting. I just won’t paint it anymore. | 你不喜欢的话，我以后不画了 |
| [18:11] | Yeah. But you like the face-painting. | 可是你喜欢脸部彩绘啊 |
| [18:14] | Well, I don’t need to do it. It’s not like a habit or anything. | 我并不一定要这样 又不是一种习惯什么的 |
| [18:19] | – You mean you’d stop it for me? – Yeah, that’s right. | – 你的意思是，为了我就放弃了？ – 对，是这样 |
| [18:27] | That’s so… | 那实在是… |
| [18:29] | – That’s so sweet. – Come here. | – 那实在是太贴心了 – 来 |
| [18:35] | I gotta go home and change before the game. I’ll be back. We’ll make out. | 比赛前我得先回家换个衣服 回来以后我们亲热一下 |
| [18:52] | Siena, I love you. | 希娜，我爱你 |
| [18:56] | Yeah, I know. I heard you the first time. | 我知道，上次你说的时候我听见了 |
| [18:59] | Yeah. | 哦 |
| [19:01] | Just confirming. | 只是确认一下 |
| [19:09] | Hello? Oh, hi, Mom. | 喂，哦，妈妈 |
| [19:11] | No, I was expecting somebody else. | 我以为是别人 |
| [19:13] | I’m sorry, I can’t talk, I gotta keep the line clear. | 不好意思，我现在不能聊天 我得保持线路通畅 |
| [19:15] | I know I have call waiting, but I don’t trust it in an emergency. Goodbye. | 我知道有来电等待 只是紧急情况，不太信任，再见 |
| [19:23] | Anyway… | 无论如何… |
| [19:25] | …I just wanna say that I’m sorry. | 我想说，真是对不起了 |
| [19:28] | I lost my temper, and I probably shouldn’t have. | 我失控了，我不应该那样 |
| [19:31] | I took it out on you and… | 我发泄在你身上… |
| [19:33] | Look, if I’ve caused you any problems as a result of my behavior… | 要是我的行为引起了任何问题… |
| [19:37] | …well, then, I’m sorry. | 我真的很抱歉 |
| [19:39] | I apologize. | 我向你道歉 |
| [19:42] | Even though you know, Barry, between me and you… | 虽然这样，贝利，我和你都知道… |
| [19:44] | …we both know that you started it. I mean, who’s kidding who? | 是你挑起的，我说，谁惹谁的？ |
| [19:48] | But they tell me that you’re very upset… | 但是他们说你很心烦… |
| [19:51] | …and God forbid I should disturb the very important monkey. | 而且我怎么能打扰你这猴子大人呢 |
| [19:54] | I hope we can put this behind us. Let’s just move on with our lives. | 我希望我们能不计前嫌，展望未来 |
| [19:58] | So no hard feelings? | 那么我们和好啦？ |
| [20:18] | – What is that? – It’s the letter D. | – 这是什么？ – 字母D |
| [20:22] | Why is the letter D painted on your chest? | 为什么你把D画在你胸前？ |
| [20:25] | I’m going to the game and me and five guys are taking our shirts off… | 我要去看比赛 然后我们五个人会脱掉上衣… |
| [20:29] | …and spell out “Devils.” | 拼出“恶魔”两个字 |
| [20:31] | – But you said no more painting. – No, I said no more face-painting. | – 你不是说不彩绘了吗 – 没有，我说的是不画在脸上了 |
| [20:34] | And as you can see, this is not my face. | 很明显，这里可不是我的脸 |
| [20:37] | Yeah, that’s right. | 是啊，没错 |
| [20:44] | Well, did he call? | 他打电话来了吗？ |
| [20:47] | – No. – Oh, come on, Jerry! This is stupid. | – 没有 – 别这样，杰瑞，这太傻了 |
| [20:50] | It’s 6:00! It’s all over! Just pick up the phone and thank him! | 都六点了，晚了晚了 快打电话谢谢他 |
| [20:55] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [21:02] | Hello, Alec? | 你好，艾莱克 |
| [21:04] | Hi, it’s Jerry Seinfeld. | 你好，我是杰瑞・宋飞 |
| [21:05] | You know, you got a great John Houseman name. | 你知道吗，你的名字非常约翰・豪斯曼 |
| [21:08] | Alec Berg. | 埃里克・伯格 |
| [21:10] | Did you hand in your assignment, Mr. Berg? | 你交作业了吗，伯格先生 |
| [21:13] | What can I do for you, Jerry? | 你找我有什么事吗，杰瑞？ |
| [21:14] | Well, Alec, the reason I called is I just wanted… | 埃里克，我只是想… |
| [21:18] | …to thank you for the tickets. | 谢谢你，上次给我们票 |
| [21:20] | I wish you’d called earlier. I could’ve given you tickets for tonight. | 我真希望你能早点打来 我就能给你今晚的票了 |
| [21:24] | – Oh, you already gave them away? – Yeah. | – 哦，你把票送人了？ – 是的 |
| [21:26] | But you know what, I have a friend… | 不过，我有个朋友… |
| [21:28] | … he’s got a couple of seats. | 有一些票 |
| [21:29] | – You mind the nosebleed section? – We don’t care. We wanna go. | – 你介意坐在容易被球打到的地方吗？ – 没问题，我们愿意 |
| [21:32] | There is one little catch, though. | 只是有点小困难 |
| [21:41] | Hey, great game, huh? Let’s go, Devils! | 嘿，比赛太精彩了，冲啊，恶魔队 |
| [21:46] | All right, let’s get it up! Let’s get it up! Come on! | 是时候了，准备，站起来，来吧 |
| [21:51] | Come on, D! D! | 来啊，D！D！ |
| [21:53] | – E. – V. | |
| [21:54] | – I! – L! | |
| [21:56] | S! | |
| [22:07] | father, there’s a woman here to see you | 神父，有一位女士来看望您 |
| [22:11] | she has important information that could be helpful to you | 她带来了一些有价值的消息 |
| [22:16] | good | 很好 |
| [22:19] | finally it stopped raining | 雨终于停了 |
| [22:32] | Hello, Father. | 你好，神父 |
| [22:37] | . | （神父把伊莲当成圣母玛利亚了） |