| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | So you’re saying UNlCEF is a scam? | 你为什么说联合国儿童基金会是一个骗局？ |
| [00:05] | It’s the perfect cover for a money-laundering operation. | 它是洗黑钱行为的完美掩饰 |
| [00:08] | No one could keep track of all those kids… | 没人能时时盯着孩子们存钱的橙色盒子 |
| [00:10] | …with those little orange boxes of change. | |
| [00:12] | Oh, no. It’s Sally Weaver. | 噢，天哪，是莎莉・韦弗 |
| [00:15] | Oh, yeah, your old college roommate, huh? | 哦，是，你的大学室友吧？ |
| [00:18] | No, it’s Susan Ross’ old college roommate. | 不是，是苏珊・罗丝的大学室友 |
| [00:20] | She moved to New York. She’s trying to become an actress. | 她去了纽约，想成为演员 |
| [00:24] | Dramatic or comedic? | 戏剧的还是喜剧的？ |
| [00:25] | Untalented. She’s always inviting me to see her… | 她没有天赋，却总是邀请我去又小 |
| [00:28] | …in some bad play in a tiny room without ventilation. | 又不通风的房间看她糟糕的表演 |
| [00:30] | It’s really depressing. | 实在让人沮丧 |
| [00:32] | Well, we don’t go to enough theater. | 哦，我们去剧院比较少 |
| [00:34] | She should just give up. | 她应该放弃的 |
| [00:38] | -Hey. -Hey there… | – 嗨 |
| [00:39] | …Mr. Too-Big-to-Come-to-My-Shows. | – 嗨，超级大牌先生 |
| [00:42] | I just came from tap. I’m all: | 我刚跳完踢踏舞. 但我精力充沛 |
| [00:45] | I’m on my way to an audition, still looking for that big break. | 我正要去试镜，寻求更大突破 |
| [00:48] | Why don’t you just give up? | 为什么你还不放弃呢？ |
| [00:51] | Kramer. | 克莱默 |
| [00:52] | Well, that’s what Jerry says. | 那是杰瑞说的 |
| [00:56] | Oh, now, face it. If it hasn’t happened, it’s not gonna happen. | 现在，面对现实吧 现在没发生的事情将来也不会再发生 |
| [00:59] | All right. Now, go grab us a booth. Join us? | 好吧，现在我们要去餐馆，一起去吗？ |
| [01:07] | So Susan’s dead. | 所以苏珊死了 |
| [01:19] | Well, I think she was happy someone finally said it. | 我想她应该高兴有人终于说出来她不行 |
| [01:21] | Why did you have to say anything to her? | 为什么你对她说那个？ |
| [01:23] | Well, I felt the conversation was lagging. | 我感觉谈话有些长了 |
| [01:26] | Why can’t you ever just keep your big mouth shut? | 你能不能闭嘴？ |
| [01:30] | I come in here to have a pleasant meal… | 我来这里是享受美食的… |
| [01:32] | …and if we’re not gonna have one, I’ll grab a bite to eat at your place. | …如果我们不能达成一致观点 我会去你那随便吃点东西 |
| [01:39] | You know, maybe Kramer was right. | 也许克莱默是对的 |
| [01:41] | Some people should just give up. I have. | 人应该放弃一些事情的，我就试过 |
| [01:43] | -What did you wanna be? -I don’t remember… | – 你曾经想做什么？ – 不记得了… |
| [01:45] | …but it certainly wasn’t this. | …但一定不是这个 |
| [01:48] | Look at this cartoon in The New Yorker. | 看看《纽约客》上的漫画 |
| [01:50] | -I don’t get this. -Me neither. | – 我看不明白 – 我也是 |
| [01:53] | And you’re on the fringe of the humor business. | 你一点都不幽默 |
| [01:56] | Hey. | 嗨 |
| [01:58] | Hey, George, look at this. | 嗨，乔治，看下这个 |
| [02:00] | -That’s cute. -You get it? | – 很可爱 – 你明白了？ |
| [02:03] | No, never mind. | 不知道,不过没关系 |
| [02:05] | Come on. We’re two intelligent people here. | 不会吧，我们两个聪明人在这儿 |
| [02:08] | We can figure this out. | 我们能弄清楚的 |
| [02:12] | Now, we got a dog and a cat in an office. | 一只狗和一只猫在办公室 |
| [02:15] | It looks like my accountant’s office. There’s no pets working there. | 看起来像我会计师的办公室 但没有宠物在那工作啊 |
| [02:20] | The cat is saying, ”I’ve enjoyed reading your e-mail.” | 那只猫说，“阅读你的邮件是种享受” |
| [02:23] | It’s got something to do with that 42 in the corner. | 角落里那个数字42有关系吧？ |
| [02:26] | That’s a page number. | 那是页码 |
| [02:29] | Well, I can’t crack this one. | 我搞不懂 |
| [02:31] | Oh, this has gotta be a mistake. | 这应该理解错了 |
| [02:33] | Well, try shaking it. | 试着摇一下 |
| [02:38] | Well, Janet should be here any minute. | 珍妮特应该马上就到 |
| [02:40] | You’ve been hiding her. You must really like her. | 你就想着她，你真喜欢上她了吧 |
| [02:43] | Jerry, the minute I saw this girl, we just clicked. | 杰瑞，当我第一次看到她时我们就好上了 |
| [02:45] | She’s got such a nice face. | 她有那么姣好的面容 |
| [02:48] | Her eyes, her mouth, nose. | 她的眼睛，嘴巴，鼻子 |
| [02:51] | We know what a face consists of. | 我们知道一张脸上有什么 |
| [02:54] | I’m sorry I’m late. | 很抱歉我来晚了 |
| [02:56] | Jerry, Elaine, I give you Janet. | 杰瑞，伊莲，我介绍一下珍妮特 |
| [02:59] | -Nice to meet you. -Hi. | – 很高兴见到你 – 你好 |
| [03:00] | Hi. Do we still have time to make the movie? | 嗨，我们还有时间去看电影吗？ |
| [03:03] | Oh, yeah. | 噢，是喔 |
| [03:04] | We just can’t go to the supermarket to get some candy. | 我们不能去超市买些糖果了 |
| [03:15] | Jerry, she looks exactly like you. | 杰瑞，她看起来真的很像你 |
| [03:19] | She does not. | 不像 |
| [03:21] | You know, maybe she doesn’t. I don’t care. | 也许她不像你，不过我不在乎 |
| [03:27] | -Hey, Kramer. -Well, hey. You got some messages. | – 嗨,克莱默 – 嗨，有你的电话 |
| [03:30] | Yeah. George, George, Elaine. George again. | 嗯，乔治，乔治，伊莲和乔治 |
| [03:33] | Elaine. Newman. But that was a crank call. | 伊莲，纽曼，那是一个骚扰电话 |
| [03:37] | Yeah, and some Sally woman called, says thanks a lot. | 是啊，还有个叫莎莉的女人打来电话 说非常感谢你 |
| [03:40] | Yeah, she’s quitting the business. You ruined her life. | 是啊，她要退出演艺界，是你毁了她的生活 |
| [03:44] | What? You’re the one who ruined her life. | 什么？你才是毁了她生活的人 |
| [03:46] | Well, that’s not how she remembers it. | 不是那么回事 |
| [03:49] | Well, I gotta talk her out of this. | 好吧，我们能不能不说这个 |
| [03:51] | I thought you said she stinks. | 我想你是说她惹人讨厌 |
| [03:53] | She does stink. And she should quit. | 她招人烦，她应当退出演艺圈 |
| [03:56] | But I don’t want it to be because of me. | 但我不想因为我的原因而让她退出了 |
| [03:58] | It should be the traditional route. | 应该按照传统的发展路线 |
| [04:00] | Years of rejection and failure… | 经过多年的被拒绝和失败 |
| [04:02] | …until she’s spit out the bottom of the porn industry. | 她才从色情行业出来 |
| [04:08] | -Yeah. –Hey, George and Janet. | – 喂 – 嗨, 乔治和珍妮特 |
| [04:10] | -Oh, who’s Janet, huh? -George’s girlfriend. | – 噢，谁是珍妮特啊？ – 乔治的女朋友 |
| [04:13] | Elaine thinks she looks like me… | 伊莲认为她长得像我… |
| [04:15] | …but I think it’s, as you would say, kooky talk. | …但我觉得正如你所说，那是痴人说梦 |
| [04:18] | You know what woman I always thought you looked like? | 你知道我觉得你像什么女人？ |
| [04:21] | Lena Horne. | 莉娜・霍恩（美国黑人女影星） |
| [04:25] | -Hey. Hey. -Hey, George. | – 嗨，嗨 – 嗨，乔治 |
| [04:27] | And you must look exactly like Jerry. | 你看起来确实像杰瑞 |
| [04:32] | You don’t see this? Oh, you’re like twins. | 你不觉得？你俩像双胞胎 |
| [04:35] | This is eerie. | 真是奇怪 |
| [04:38] | Kramer, what are you talking about? | 克莱默，你在说什么呢？ |
| [04:41] | Janet doesn’t look anything like Jerry. | 珍妮特一点都不像杰瑞 |
| [04:43] | Maybe we do look a little like each other. | 也许我们真的有点像对方 |
| [04:45] | No, what do you know about what you look like? | 不，你怎么知道你长得什么样？ |
| [04:49] | Come on, George. Relax. Just because they look alike… | 拜托，乔治，别激动，就因为他们看起来像 |
| [04:51] | …that doesn’t mean you’re secretly in love with Jerry. | 并不代表你暗中爱上了杰瑞 |
| [04:57] | All right, we’re going now. Bye-bye. | 好吧，我们要走了，再见 |
| [04:59] | -We just got here, George. -Well, it’s getting dark. | – 我们才刚到这儿，乔治 – 天要黑了 |
| [05:05] | Yeah, she’s a nice girl, kind of quiet, though. | 是，她是个好女孩，虽然有些安静 |
| [05:09] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么？ |
| [05:11] | Don’t tell a woman she looks like a man. | 别告诉一个女人说她长得像男人 |
| [05:13] | George doesn’t wanna hear his girlfriend looks like me, neither do l. | 乔治不想听到他的女朋友长得像我的话我也是 |
| [05:17] | Well, how should I have broached the subject? | 好吧，那么我应该怎么提及这个话题？ |
| [05:20] | You don’t broach. You keep your mouth shut. | 你别说话，闭上你的嘴就行了 |
| [05:24] | Well, sounds like someone’s having a bad day. | 听起来某人今天过得并不好 |
| [05:26] | Yeah, because of you. | 是啊，就因为你 |
| [05:28] | Well, then I think one of us should leave. | 好，那我们中的一个必须走 |
| [05:43] | Sally, you can’t quit the business. | 莎莉，你不能放弃你的事业 |
| [05:45] | This is all because of me? | 这一切都是因为我？ |
| [05:48] | You can’t give up. You don’t think people tell me I stink? | 你不能放弃 你不觉得人们很讨厌我吗？ |
| [05:51] | When I’m on-stage that’s all I hear. | 我在舞台上时所听到的是 |
| [05:53] | ”You stink. You suck. We like magic.” | “你又臭又烂，我们喜欢有魔力的” |
| [05:58] | -Really? -Of course. | – 真的？ – 当然 |
| [05:59] | I stink. You stink. It’s show biz. Everybody stinks. | 我很臭，你也是，这就是演艺圈 每个人都很臭 |
| [06:04] | Yeah, you’ve been stinking since the ’80s. | 是啊，你从80年代以来一直臭到了现在 |
| [06:07] | All right, I think we’ve covered my act. | 好吧，我想我们已经谈到我的行为 |
| [06:09] | Now, you get out there and stink it up with everybody else. | 你现在就消失,变得和其他人一样臭 |
| [06:11] | All right. Yes. Thank you. I’m gonna do it. | 好，是的，谢谢，我这就去做 |
| [06:18] | Now. | 马上 |
| [06:23] | Well, I’ve asked everyone at work and no one gets this cartoon. | 我已经问过每个同事了 但没人看懂这幅漫画 |
| [06:27] | I don’t understand why, but I am gonna get to the bottom of this. | 我不知道为什么，但我一定要弄个水落石出 |
| [06:31] | Oh, I think we’re at the bottom. | 噢，我觉得我们已经知道答案了 |
| [06:35] | Hey, George. Janet seems really nice. | 嗨，乔治，珍妮特看起来是个不错的女孩子 |
| [06:38] | And she’s quite a handsome woman. | 她是个很俊俏的女人 |
| [06:45] | -What does that mean? -Yeah, what does that mean? | – 你说的是什么意思？ – 是啊, 你说什么啊？ |
| [06:47] | What do you mean by that? | 你说那话什么意思？ |
| [06:49] | Enjoy. | 享受吧 |
| [06:54] | -Elaine, huh? She’s completely– -Oh, I know. | – 伊莲， 啊，她完全是… – 噢，我明白 |
| [06:59] | -Because you don’t think Janet– -No. | – 因为你不认为珍妮特… – 是的 |
| [07:03] | -Why would l? -It’s ludicrous. | – 为什么我要这样？ – 真荒唐 |
| [07:05] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [07:06] | -Neither one of us. -No. | – 我们俩都不是那种人 – 是的 |
| [07:07] | -So. -Exactly. | – 那么 – 就是这样 |
| [07:10] | I’m not gay. | 我不是同性恋者 |
| [07:15] | Neither am l. | 我也不是 |
| [07:19] | -Kramer, get in here. -Kramer. Kramer. | – 克莱默, 进来吧 – 克莱默，克莱默 |
| [07:22] | Where’s that crazy man? Come on. | 那个疯狂的家伙在哪？赶快来吧 |
| [07:24] | Kramer, come on in here. | 克莱默，赶快进来吧 |
| [07:25] | -Come on. -Kramer, what are you doing? | – 赶快来吧 – 克莱默，你在做什么？ |
| [07:27] | -Come in. -Finally. | – 请进 – 终于 |
| [07:29] | What are you doing? Come and talk to us. | 你在干什么？过来和我们聊聊 |
| [07:33] | I’ve made an important life decision. | 我在作出一个重大的人生决定 |
| [07:35] | -Let’s talk about that. -Don’t leave. | – 那我们聊聊吧 – 别走 |
| [07:39] | All right. I know I’ve been kind of shooting off at the mouth lately. | 好吧，我知道我最近经常信口开河 |
| [07:43] | First, with that girl whose life you destroyed… | 首先，因为那个被你毁掉人生的女孩… |
| [07:47] | …and then about George dating a lady Jerry. | 然后是乔治约会了淑女杰瑞 |
| [07:51] | What’s the decision? | 你作出了什么决定？ |
| [07:52] | I know you want me to keep my big mouth shut. | 我知道你一直想我闭嘴 |
| [07:55] | Well, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. | 没错, 那正是我要做的 |
| [07:56] | -I’m never gonna talk again. -Yeah, right. | – 我不会再说话了 – 是这样，好 |
| [07:59] | What do I need to talk for, huh? What, to blab to the neighbors… | 我为什么要说话，啊？就是和邻居 |
| [08:03] | …about how George has a new fem-Jerry friend? | 八卦乔治怎么认识一个像杰瑞的女友？ |
| [08:06] | Or to tell everybody at the coffee shop how George is all mixed up… | 或告诉咖啡店的每个人，乔治是怎样牵涉进 |
| [08:10] | …in a perverse sexual amalgam of some girl and his best friend? | 他和他的最好朋友有关女孩性别的问题中 |
| [08:15] | See, now, I’ve done all that. | 明白了吧，现在，我做了所有我想做的 |
| [08:18] | Now, it’s time for silence. | 现在是应该安静的时候了 |
| [08:20] | Silence? Yes. | 安静？好 |
| [08:23] | You’re never gonna be able to completely stop talking. | 你并不能（像你说的那样）完全停止说话 |
| [08:26] | Jerry, 94 percent of communication is nonverbal. | 杰瑞，94%的交流是不用言语的 |
| [08:29] | Here, watch. | 这儿，看着 |
| [08:33] | What? What are you talking about? | 什么？ 你在说什么？ |
| [08:41] | Well, what does this mean? | 你想说什么？ |
| [08:42] | Well, it’s Frank and Estelle’s reaction… | 这是弗兰克和埃斯特尔听到 |
| [08:44] | …to hearing about George’s man love for a she-Jerry. | 乔治和女杰瑞的爱情故事的反应 |
| [08:48] | -Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. -That’s the idea. | – 闭嘴，闭嘴，闭嘴 – 这就对了 |
| [08:53] | Kramer, there’s no way you stick to this. | 克莱默，你没法坚持下去 |
| [08:57] | -Oh, you’re gonna start now? -That’s right. | – 你要现在开始吗？ – 是的 |
| [09:00] | Right now. | 马上 |
| [09:03] | That hurts. | 真疼啊 |
| [09:06] | Now. | 现在 |
| [09:10] | So J. Peterman wants to hire some of our cartoonists… | 那么小彼得曼想雇佣我们的一些漫画家… |
| [09:13] | …to illustrate your catalog? | …来为你们的产品目录作说明？ |
| [09:16] | Well, we’re hoping that if, perhaps the catalog is a little funnier… | 嗯，我们希望如此 如果产品目录能更有趣… |
| [09:19] | …people won’t be so quick to return the clothes. | …人们就不会那么快送还衣服 |
| [09:24] | For example, you know, I really do…. | 比如，我的确… |
| [09:27] | Well, I love this one. | 喜欢这个 |
| [09:30] | Oh, yeah. Yeah, that’s a rather clever jab… | 哦，是的，这倒是 |
| [09:33] | …at inter-office politics, don’t you think? | 对官场晋升术的幽默讽刺，你不觉得吗？ |
| [09:37] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [09:41] | But why is it that the animals enjoy reading the e-mail? | 但为什么那些动物喜欢读邮件呢？ |
| [09:46] | Well, Miss Benes… | 这样，贝尼斯小姐… |
| [09:47] | …cartoons are like gossamer and one doesn’t dissect gossamer. | …漫画就像薄纱 而人们是不会把薄纱仔细研究 |
| [09:52] | Well, you don’t have to dissect it… | 你不必深究… |
| [09:55] | …if you could just tell me why this is supposed to be funny. | …只要你能告诉我它为什么有趣就行 |
| [09:59] | Oh, it’s merely a commentary on contemporary mores. | 噢，它只不过是对当代道德风俗的评论而已 |
| [10:05] | But what is the comment? | 但它的评论的观点是什么？ |
| [10:09] | -It’s a slice of life. -No, it isn’t. | – 它是现实生活的典型片段 – 不，不是 |
| [10:12] | -A pun? -I don’t think so. | – 双关吗？ – 我觉得不是 |
| [10:13] | Vorshtein? | 无法表述的漫画？ |
| [10:16] | That’s not a word. | 那不是一个词 |
| [10:19] | -You have no idea what this means. -No. | – 你不知道这个词是什么意思 – 是的 |
| [10:21] | -Then why did you print it? -I like the kitty. | – 那你为什么印它？ – 我喜欢那只猫咪 |
| [10:25] | You know what? You people should be ashamed of yourselves. | 你知道吗？ 你们这些人应该为自己感到羞耻 |
| [10:28] | You know, you doodle a couple of bears at a cocktail party… | 你在鸡尾酒会上随便画几只熊… |
| [10:31] | …talking about the stock market, you think you’re doing comedy. | …谈论下股票市场，你就认为你在做幽默 |
| [10:35] | Actually, that’s not bad. | 实际上，那没什么不好 |
| [10:37] | Oh, really? Oh, yes. Well, you know, I have others. | 噢，是吗？是，我有别的事情做 |
| [10:45] | Sally, I can’t believe you’re already doing a one-woman show. | 莎莉，我就不信你已经在做个人秀 |
| [10:48] | No, it’s just a little performance piece I wrote. | 不是，只是我写的一小段表演而已 |
| [10:51] | But you know what? You really inspired me, okay, a tear. | 但你知道吗？你真的鼓舞了我 好吧，流滴眼泪 |
| [10:57] | Hey, there you are. | 嗨，你们在这儿啊 |
| [11:00] | Oh, right. Code of silence. How’s that going? | 哦，对，缄默法则，那个怎么样了？ |
| [11:10] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [11:11] | Hi. I think you’re really gonna like this… | 嗨，我想你们会喜欢这个节目… |
| [11:13] | …because it’s about me. Well, all right, it’s not just about me. | …因为它是关于我的 嗯，好吧，也不止和我有关 |
| [11:16] | It’s about me, and this guy, Jerry Seinfeld… | 和我有关，还有这家伙，杰瑞・宋飞 |
| [11:21] | …who I like to call the devil. | 我喜欢叫他恶魔 |
| [11:24] | Okay, okay. | 好，好 |
| [11:25] | So I run into this Jerry on the street and then he says to me: | 当我在街上邂逅这个杰瑞，他对我说： |
| [11:29] | ”Hey, Sally, you stink. You should give up acting.” | “嗨，莎莉，你的演技很臭 你应该放弃演戏” |
| [11:32] | Oh, I’m doing Jerry now, okay? So you have to imagine I have horns… | 噢，我现在正在扮演杰瑞，好吧？ 所以你必须想像我有兽角… |
| [11:35] | …a tail and hooves instead of feet. | …尾巴还有蹄而不是脚 |
| [11:38] | You know what I mean, that guy? | 你知道我是什么意思吧，那个家伙？ |
| [11:41] | Oh, shut up. | 噢，闭嘴 |
| [11:47] | She does a full hour about how you’re the devil? | 她一整小时都在模仿你是恶魔的样子？ |
| [11:50] | I gotta go see this thing. | 我必须去看看 |
| [11:52] | Good luck. It’s sold out for the next three weeks. | 祝你好运，后面三个星期的票都已售完 |
| [11:56] | Well, I bet I can get in, once I mention I’m from The New Yorker. | 好吧，我打赌我能进去 只要我说我来自《纽约客》 |
| [12:01] | –The New Yorker? -Yes. The New Yorker. | -《纽约客》 – 是啊，《纽约客》 |
| [12:04] | I met with their cartoon editor… | 我碰到他们的漫画编辑… |
| [12:06] | …and I got him to admit that that cartoon made no sense. | …然后我让他承认他们的漫画 完全不着边际 |
| [12:11] | Wow, good work, Nancy Drew. | 哇，干的不错，南茜・朱尔 |
| [12:15] | So we ended up going out to lunch… | 最后我们去吃午餐… |
| [12:17] | …and he had some great gossip about James Thurber. | 他说了一些詹姆斯・瑟伯的重大绯闻 （美国幽默作家） |
| [12:20] | Nodding off. | 打瞌睡 |
| [12:22] | And he said I could submit some of my own cartoons. | 然后他说我能提交一些自己画的漫画 |
| [12:26] | Wow, that’s incredible, but you don’t draw. | 哇哦，真不可思议，但你不画画的 |
| [12:30] | -I do too. -What, your sad little horsies? | – 画啊 – 什么，就那个对不起观众的小马？ |
| [12:33] | The house with the little curl of smoke. | 有弯曲烟雾上升的房子 |
| [12:36] | The sunflower with the smiley face. | 有笑脸的向日葵 |
| [12:38] | The transparent cube. | 透明的立方体 |
| [12:41] | It’s better than your drawings of naked Lois Lane. | 好过你画的裸体洛伊斯・拉尼 |
| [12:44] | Where did you see that? Those are private. | 你在哪看到的？那些是我的隐私 |
| [12:51] | Jerry, sorry I’m late. | 杰瑞，抱歉我来晚了 |
| [12:52] | Channel Nine is doing a piece on my show, isn’t that great? | 9频道正在放我表演的一些片段 难道不很棒吗？ |
| [12:55] | Do you hate me? | 你讨厌我吧？ |
| [12:57] | No, no, I thought the show was terrific. | 不，不，我想那表演棒极了 |
| [12:59] | I was just wondering if you have to keep saying… | 我只是在想你为什么一直说… |
| [13:01] | …Jerry Seinfeld is the devil. | 杰瑞・宋飞是个恶魔 |
| [13:04] | Well, that is the title. | 啊，那是话题 |
| [13:07] | I know, but I thought maybe you could mention how I apologized… | 我知道了，但我想也许你可以提下 我应该怎么道歉… |
| [13:11] | …and encouraged you to stick with it? | …还有鼓舞你坚持下去？ |
| [13:14] | You know, I workshopped that and snoozers. | 我把它变为工作室和打盹的地方 |
| [13:18] | But I’ll tell you what, I’ll tinker. It’s all a journey. | 但我要告诉你的是，我会瞎忙一阵 它是一个旅程 |
| [13:23] | Thanks. You got a little schmutz there. | 谢谢，你这里有点脏 |
| [13:27] | Excuse me, Miss Weaver? Oh, my God, it is you. | 打扰一下，韦弗小姐吗？ 噢，我的天，真的是你 |
| [13:31] | I’ve seen your show six times. | 我已经看过你的表演六次了 |
| [13:34] | What a surprise. | 真没想到 |
| [13:36] | You’re great. It’s great. | 你真优秀，太有才了 |
| [13:38] | It’s so great to see a show that’s about something. | 很高兴能看到关于某些东西的表演 |
| [13:46] | Where to? | 去哪儿？ |
| [13:59] | My friends are idiots. | 我朋友都是白痴 |
| [14:01] | She doesn’t look like Jerry. She doesn’t look like anybody. | 她看起来不像杰瑞，她看起来谁都不像 |
| [14:06] | And so what if she does look like Jerry? | 就算她看起来像杰瑞又怎样？ |
| [14:08] | What does that mean? | 那是什么意思？ |
| [14:09] | That I’d have everything I have with Jerry… | 我将拥有与杰瑞在一起的各种感觉 |
| [14:11] | …but because it’s a woman I could also have sex with her? | 但因为她是女人，我也可以跟她做爱？ |
| [14:15] | And that somehow, that would be exactly what I always wanted? | 不知为何，那不是我总想要的吗？ |
| [14:21] | She doesn’t even look like Jerry. | 但她确实一点都不像杰瑞 |
| [14:24] | I really do look a lot like your friend Jerry. | 我确实很像你的朋友杰瑞 |
| [14:26] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [14:32] | Thanks for watching Nine News. We leave you tonight with a scene… | 谢谢观看《九点新闻》 我们以下面莎莉・韦佛的个人秀 |
| [14:35] | …from Sally Weaver’s one-woman show. | …跟你说再见 |
| [14:37] | Okay, so, I go to meet Jerry Seinfeld at this horrible coffee shop, right? | 我去讨厌的咖啡店见杰瑞・宋飞 |
| [14:42] | He’s like, ”Stop doing your show. ” | 他就像这样，“别做你的个人秀了 |
| [14:44] | And I’m like, ”Hello, it’s a free country. ” | 而我就像这样，“嗨，现在是自由国家” |
| [14:46] | So then he goes, ”Okay, schmutzie. ” | 然后他走了，“好吧，垃圾” |
| [14:48] | Then he starts pawing at my sweater, right? | 然后他开始乱摸我的毛衣，对吧？ |
| [14:50] | And getting all ”Hands Across America. ” | 用他所有的手横跨美国 |
| [14:52] | There really was schmutz. I didn’t try and grab her. | 他们都疯了，我根本没有试图抓她啊 |
| [14:55] | And this is what he looks like when he is eating: | 这是他吃东西时的样子： |
| [15:00] | Get out of my house. | 滚出我的房间 |
| [15:04] | Well, boys, I did it. | 好吧，帅哥们，我做到了 |
| [15:07] | I had to stay up all night… | 我本来要整晚熬夜… |
| [15:09] | …but I finally came up with a great New Yorker cartoon. | …但最后我终于想到一副很好的 《纽约客》漫画 |
| [15:13] | lf I stayed up all night, I’d fix myself up a little before I go out. | 如果我整晚熬夜 我会在出去之前稍微打扮一下 |
| [15:18] | That is not the point. | 那不是要考虑的问题 |
| [15:19] | Some mouthwash, a hat, something. | 一些漱口水，一顶帽子，还有其他 |
| [15:24] | Just read it. | 好好看看吧 |
| [15:27] | Pretty good. | 画得真不错 |
| [15:29] | Pretty good? | 不错？ |
| [15:31] | Well, this is a gem. Kramer, lookit. | 咳,这是精品，克莱默，看看 |
| [15:36] | What? It’s funny. | 怎么？ 很有趣吧 |
| [15:38] | It’s a pig at a complaint department. | 投诉版有一只猪 |
| [15:40] | Yeah, and he’s saying, ”I wish I was taller.” | 是啊，它说，“我希望我能长高点” |
| [15:46] | See? That’s his complaint. | 明白吗？那就是它的不满 |
| [15:49] | -I get it. -Do you? | – 我明白了 – 真的吗？ |
| [15:51] | Because that’s not a normal complaint. | 因为那并不是一般的不满 |
| [15:54] | Well, how about if it was something like: | 如像这样怎么样: |
| [15:56] | ”I can’t find my receipt. My place is a sty.” | “我找不到收据，我住的地方是猪圈” |
| [16:02] | You know, everything with you has to be so jokey. | 一切和你有关的东西都是滑稽可笑的 |
| [16:07] | I’m a comedian. | 我是喜剧演员 |
| [16:09] | ”I wish I was taller.” That’s nice. That’s real. | “我希望我能长高点” 很不错，很真实的想法 |
| [16:14] | Yeah, well, I got a complaint. This cartoon stinks. | 是，不过我有点意见，这漫画糟糕透了 |
| [16:20] | Well, I’ll tell you who doesn’t think it stinks. | 好吧，我会告诉你认为它不糟糕人是谁 |
| [16:22] | The New Yorker. That’s right. | 《纽约客》， 没错 |
| [16:25] | They’re publishing it in their next issue. | 他们要在下一期发表我的作品 |
| [16:28] | Oh, you know what? I just ran into Newman in the hall. | 噢，你知道什么？我刚在大厅遇到纽曼了 |
| [16:31] | He said you tried to grope Sally Weaver? | 他说你试图吃莎莉・韦弗的豆腐？ |
| [16:34] | Oh, that’s it. I’m gonna put an end to this. | 噢，就是这事，我得了结此事 |
| [16:42] | ”The pig says, ‘My wife is a slut”’? | “那猪说，’我老婆是个荡妇’？” |
| [16:52] | Now, that’s a complaint. | 那是抱怨 |
| [16:56] | Hello, this is Jerry. I just wanted to leave you a message… | 你好，我是杰瑞，我只是想留个信息给你… |
| [17:00] | …and let you know I caught your little piece on TV. | 我看到了你在电视上的表演 |
| [17:02] | I’m getting tired of hearing about how horrible I am. | 你说我怎么可怕的言论感到厌倦 |
| [17:05] | I’d really appreciate it… | 如果你能在个人秀上放过我的话 |
| [17:06] | …if you would just leave me out of your act altogether. | 我会真的很感激 |
| [17:10] | Well, that’s it. I’m calling in the big guns. | 好吧，就这样 我要去召集些能言善辩的家伙 |
| [17:14] | ”–to cease and desist, on behalf of my client, Jerry Seinfeld.” | “–为了终止这事 为了我的客人，杰瑞・宋飞” |
| [17:18] | Signed, crybaby Jerry Seinfeld’s lawyer. | 哭哭啼啼杰瑞・宋飞的律师签名 |
| [17:21] | Okay. Well, I’ve got two words for you, Jerry Seinfeld: | 好，我送两个字给你，杰瑞・宋飞： |
| [17:25] | **** you. | 你 |
| [17:30] | How could she say that on TV? | 她怎么能在电视上说那些？ |
| [17:33] | And how did she get a cable special? I’ve never gotten a cable special. | 还有她是怎么上有线电视的？ 我从来就没上过有线电视 |
| [17:38] | Well, that’s it. I’m not giving her any more material. We are incommunicado. | 嗯，就这样，我不会再给她任何的材料我们就此不相往来 |
| [17:44] | Exactly. | 完全地 |
| [17:49] | Check it out. From the new issue of The New Yorker. | 来看看，新的一期《纽约客》 |
| [17:53] | -It’s funny, isn’t it? -No. | – 很有趣，是吧？ – 不 |
| [17:55] | Look at it. The pig wants to be taller. | 看看，那猪想变得高一点 |
| [17:58] | And what’s this guy gonna say, huh? Nothing. | 然后这家伙说了什么，哈？啥都没说 |
| [18:03] | Elaine, I’m afraid I have incurred yet another flat tire. | 伊莲，恐怕我的车胎又漏气了 |
| [18:08] | Can I fix that after lunch, sir? | 我能午饭后再去修理吗，先生？ |
| [18:09] | Oh, no, right away. Chop-chop. | 噢，不，现在就修，快点 |
| [18:12] | A new cartoon. ”I wish I was taller.” | 一幅新漫画，“我希望我能长得高点” |
| [18:20] | I’d like to see that complaint get rectified. | 我想那“不满”应该改一下 |
| [18:25] | You see? See? Smart people think this is funny. | 你瞧？知道吧？聪明的人认为这是有趣的 |
| [18:28] | And you wanna know why? Because I wrote it. | 你想知道为什么吗？因为是我画的 |
| [18:31] | You shouldn’t make fun of pigs. | 你不应该取笑猪的 |
| [18:35] | Flash of lightning, Elaine. | 恍然大悟，伊莲 |
| [18:37] | I just realized why I like this cartoon so much. | 我终于知道我为什么那么喜欢这幅漫画 |
| [18:39] | -Oh, do tell, sir. -It’s a ”Ziggy.” | – 噢，说说看，先生 – 它是“基吉”（连载漫画的一角色） |
| [18:42] | A ”Ziggy”? | “基吉”？ |
| [18:44] | That irreverence. That wit. I’d recognize it anywhere. | 那种傲慢，那种才智 我在任何地方都可以看出来 |
| [18:47] | Some charlatan has stolen a ”Ziggy”… | 一些假装内行的人偷了“基吉”这个形象… |
| [18:49] | …and passed it off as his own and I can prove it. | …然后冒充为自己的东西，我能证明这一点 |
| [18:52] | Quick, Elaine, to my archives. | 快，伊莲，到我的档案室来 |
| [19:02] | You know what’s great about our relationship? | 你知道我们的关系好在什么地方吗？ |
| [19:04] | -It’s not about looks. -It’s not? | – 与相貌无关 – 无关？ |
| [19:07] | No, it can’t be. | 是啊，不能（和相貌有关） |
| [19:09] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [19:11] | For instance, I remember when we first met… | 比如，我记得我们第一次见面的时候… |
| [19:13] | …we had a great conversation. | …我们谈得很愉快 |
| [19:16] | I remember you said I was the prettiest girl at the party. | 我记得当时你说我是派对上最漂亮的女孩 |
| [19:21] | But then after that we really talked, didn’t we? | 从那以后我们就开始经常聊天，对吧？ |
| [19:24] | Well, you told me how familiar I looked… | 是啊，你对我说我看起来很面熟… |
| [19:26] | …and that you must have seen me somewhere before. | …说你之前肯定在哪见过我 |
| [19:32] | This relationship, it’s got to be about something. | 这种关系，已经到了某个阶段 |
| [19:35] | And fast, or I am in very serious and weird trouble. | 很快，或者我遇到非常严重 而且是不可思议的麻烦 |
| [19:41] | -What else happened? -You asked for a piece of gum… | – 还有什么发生了？ – 你说要一块口香糖… |
| [19:43] | …because you thought your breath smelled like hummus. | …因为你说你的口气闻起来像豆泥 |
| [19:47] | All right. Yes. Gum. | 好吧，对，口香糖 |
| [19:49] | Good enough. I’ll take it. | 真不错，我要吃 |
| [19:51] | -I like gum. -I do too. | – 我喜欢口香糖 – 我也是 |
| [19:53] | You see, that’s what we’re about. | 你瞧，那就是我们所说的 |
| [19:55] | You don’t remind me of anyone and we love gum. | 你没有让我想起任何人 而且我们都喜欢口香糖 |
| [20:00] | -I have gum in my hair. -I’m losing it. | – 有块口香糖在我的头发上 – 我弄丢的 |
| [20:09] | Hey, you’re Jerry’s friend. You’re kooky. Mind if I sit? | 嗨，你是杰瑞的朋友 你是个怪人，不介意我坐下吧？ |
| [20:12] | My show is going well. Have you seen it yet? | 我的个人秀进行得不错，看过没？ |
| [20:14] | You should. Everybody else in town has. | 你应该看看，每个人都看了 |
| [20:16] | I got recognized the other day. | 我前几天终于醒悟过来 |
| [20:18] | How weird is that? I know. At first I liked the attention. | 那多么不可思议？ 我想 一开始我喜欢得到关注 |
| [20:21] | But after a while it’s like, ”Whoa, take three steps back. Get a life,” okay? | 但片刻后就像这样，“咳，退三步 振作起来，” 行吧？ |
| [20:24] | There wouldn’t be a Sally Weaver without the fans. | 将要出现一个没有粉丝的莎莉・韦弗 |
| [20:27] | But who am l, anyway? I mean, there’s Sally Weaver the woman. | 但我是谁呢，不管怎样？ 我的意思是，有个女人莎莉・韦弗 |
| [20:30] | Sally Weaver the artist. Sally Weaver– | 有个演员莎莉・韦弗，莎莉・韦弗… |
| [20:32] | You know, you’ve gotta shut up. | 你还是闭嘴 |
| [20:36] | I’m sorry. I haven’t spoken in days. | 抱歉，我有些天没说话了 |
| [20:40] | Well, lay it on me, string bean. | 好吧，都算我头上，瘦高个 |
| [20:43] | Let me get this gum out of my hair and then I’ll be ready for bed. | 让我把这块口香糖从头发里拿出来 然后我就准备睡觉了 |
| [20:47] | Okay, look, the gum isn’t cutting it for me. | 行，好像口香糖不会因为我而不见的 |
| [20:50] | We need to be about something else. Anything. Please. | 我们还是说些别的吧 任何其他事情，求你了 |
| [20:56] | George. | 乔治 |
| [21:00] | -Your hair. -Well, I had to cut the gum out… | – 你的头发 – 我必把那口香糖弄掉… |
| [21:03] | …and I had a little trouble getting it even. | …但我拿它出来遇到一点困难 |
| [21:06] | So why don’t you get undressed, George? | 所以你明白为什么了吧，乔治？ |
| [21:10] | George is in weird trouble. | 乔治遇到了不可思议的麻烦 |
| [21:16] | You ripped off a ”Ziggy”? | 你剽窃了“基吉”这个形象？ |
| [21:18] | It must have seeped into my subconscious. | 肯定是它无意识进入我脑海中了 |
| [21:22] | Puddy has ”Ziggy” bed sheets. | 普迪有一张“基吉” 床单 |
| [21:25] | Did you read the comics today? | 你看今天的漫画了吗？ |
| [21:28] | Oh, I see Ziggy’s back at the complaint department. | 噢，我看到基吉回到了投诉版 |
| [21:32] | ” The New Yorker is stealing my ideas.” | “《纽约客》抄袭了我的想法” |
| [21:36] | See, that’s funny… | 看，那很有趣 |
| [21:38] | …because it’s real. | 因为它是真的 |
| [21:40] | Hey, lookit. Sally’s cable show’s on. | 嗨，快看，有线电视正在播放莎莉的个人秀 |
| [21:43] | Hey, Kramer, come on in. You gotta watch this. | 嗨，克莱默，进来吧，你应该看看这个 |
| [21:45] | This’ll be funny. Now, she’s got nothing. | 这会很有趣的，现在，她什么也没得到 |
| [21:48] | Master of evil, Jerry Seinfeld, broke off all contact with me. | 邪恶大师，杰瑞・宋飞 突然中断与我的所有联系 |
| [21:51] | That’s right, sister. Why don’t you just give up? | 就这样，小姐，你为什么不就此放弃呢？ |
| [21:54] | Why are you yelling at the TV? | 你为什么还对着电视上乱叫？ |
| [21:57] | Okay, get this. | 好的，听听这个 |
| [21:58] | I heard he makes his best friend date women… | 我听说他让他最好的朋友 |
| [22:00] | …who look just like him. | 约会女人的模样竟然像他自己 |
| [22:02] | Hello? Issues. | 哈罗？问题来了 |
| [22:04] | Elaine, have you been talking to her? | 伊莲，你跟她说过话吗？ |
| [22:06] | Hey, I’m just a fan. | 嗨，我只是一个粉丝而已 |
| [22:08] | Oh, and speaking of issues… | 噢，说到问题 |
| [22:09] | …guess who got a no-polish manicure… | 猜猜谁修甲没抛光 |
| [22:11] | …and begged his neighbor not to tell anyone. | 然后乞求邻居别告诉别人 |
| [22:17] | I thought you stopped talking. | 我想你再别说话了 |
| [22:20] | All right, starting now. | 行，从现在开始 |
| [22:30] | You broke up with her because she cut her hair? | 你和她分手只是因为她剪了头发？ |
| [22:33] | How short? | 多短？ |
| [22:34] | Like that. | 像那样 |
| [22:37] | -You mean like–? -That. | – 你说像–？ – 你那 |
| [22:40] | -So she– -Yes. | – 所以她– – 是 |
| [22:42] | -And you don’t– -No. | – 然后你不– – 是 |
| [22:43] | -So. -Exactly. | – 那 – 就是这样 |
| [22:47] | We must never ever speak of this again. | 我们最好别再说这个话题 |
| [22:52] | No. | 不说了 |
| [22:58] | Hey, you wanna go see a movie? | 嗨，你想去看电影吗？ |
| [23:00] | Actually, I think I’m gonna take a few days off. | 实际上，我想我应该请几天假 |
| [23:04] | -I think that’s for the best. -Yeah. | – 我想那是最好的办法 – 是的 |