| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:10] | The funny thing is, | 可笑的是 |
| [00:11] | people used to call me butt-ugly. | 过去人们叫我大丑女 |
| [00:14] | In my 7th-grade yearbook, | 七年级的年鉴里 |
| [00:15] | I was literally voted “Most butt.” | 我被票选为最丑霉女 |
| [00:16] | 伊莉莎·杜丽 “最丑霉女” | |
| [00:19] | So I took a lesson from Corynn McWatters, | 我效仿科琳·麦克沃特斯 |
| [00:21] | I blew out my curls and pushed up the girls, | 吹起大波浪 挤出事业线 |
| [00:25] | corrected my vision, stepped up my nutrition, | 矫正视力 改善营养 |
| [00:28] | traded likes for likes, | 以赞换赞 |
| [00:29] | and before long, | 没过多久 |
| [00:31] | I was insta-famous. | 我就一跃成为网络红人 |
| [00:32] | I have 263,000 friends, followers… | 我一共有263,000个好友 粉丝 |
| [00:35] | and insta-quaintances. | 以及Instagram好友 |
| [00:37] | Not to mention the love and respect of my co-workers, | 更不用说同事们对我的爱与尊重 |
| [00:40] | who happen to be on board. | 他们恰好也在同一航班上 |
| [00:41] | Got the upgrade, ladies. | 姐升舱了 各位 |
| [00:43] | Don’t be jelly, Linda. | 不要羡慕嫉妒恨哟 琳达 |
| [00:46] | Is that one of ours? | 她是咱们公司的吗 |
| [00:48] | Eliza Dooley, | 伊莉莎·杜丽 |
| [00:50] | – our company’s best-performing sales rep? Yeah. | 公司业绩最佳的销售代表 没错 |
| [00:52] | She’s our best sales rep? That can’t be true. | 她是最佳销售代表 不可能吧 |
| [00:55] | That’s the magic of the miniskirt… no one’s immune, | 超短裙的魔力 无人能挡 |
| [00:58] | including Miller from legal, who happens to be… | 包括法律部的米勒 只是他… |
| [01:01] | Married, isn’t he? | 结婚了 对吧 |
| [01:02] | She hasn’t picked up on that yet. | 她还没意识到这一点 |
| [01:03] | She’s been a little too busy making sure her lipstick matches her thong. | 她光忙着口红要和丁字裤搭配了 |
| [01:07] | How do you know so much about her lipstick and her thong? | 你怎么知道她口红和丁字裤事情 |
| [01:10] | I follow her on instagram. | 我在Instagram上关注了她 |
| [01:12] | Very classy. | 非常美艳 |
| [01:13] | What is this, her breakfast? | 这是早餐吗 |
| [01:14] | See, this is exactly what I can’t stand. | 我就是受不了这些东西 |
| [01:16] | Social media is this… is this giant fingernail | 社交媒体就像是巨大的指甲 |
| [01:19] | scratching this woman’s itch for constant attention. | 不断挠着这个女人渴望被关注的痒 |
| [01:22] | Giant fingernail. | 巨大的指甲 |
| [01:23] | “Oh, look at me. Something good happened. #blessed.” | 看啊 发生了好事 #真好 |
| [01:25] | “Oh, look at me. Something bad happened. #stillblessed.” | 快看啊 发生了坏事 #依然很好 |
| [01:28] | “I’m at the gym. #gymflow.” | 我在健身房 #健身控 |
| [01:30] | “I’m at work. #workflow.” | 我在工作 #工作控 |
| [01:32] | “Oh, I’m standing near a baby. #babyflow, | 我旁边有个小宝宝 #宝宝控 |
| [01:34] | #circleoflife, #blessed.” | #生命轮回 #真好 |
| [01:37] | Your volume is really high right now. | 你声音有点大… |
| [01:38] | Why does her generation feel compelled to tweet every item | 为什么这一代人要把嘴巴碰过的东西 |
| [01:41] | that goes into their mouths, including Miller from marketing’s… | 都发到推特上 包括市场部米勒的… |
| [01:43] | – Warm nuts? – Thanks. | -热坚果[蛋蛋] -谢谢 |
| [01:50] | Thought you could escape me in first class? | 在头等舱就能逃出我的掌心吗 |
| [01:55] | Eliza, wait. | 伊莉莎 等等 |
| [01:56] | Look, I know it’s intimidating | 我知道 |
| [01:59] | to fall for a girl with a strong pelvic floor | 爱上我这样骨盆大的女孩不容易 |
| [02:01] | and an advertising presence on her Facebook page… | 而且还经常在Facebook主页上显摆 |
| [02:03] | No, no. It’s not that. | 不不 不是因为这个 |
| [02:05] | Then what? | 那是因为什么 |
| [02:07] | Devices off. Seat belts buckled. | 关闭电子设备 系好安全带 |
| [02:16] | He was… married? | 他结婚了 |
| [02:19] | And I just needed to gif my way through that. | 必须要发几张动图来平复我的悲伤 |
| [02:24] | Nausea, dizziness, a legit case of ham tongue. | 头晕 恶心 口干舌燥 |
| [02:26] | It was either the turbulence or grinder’s remorse | 不是因为气流 就是自责 |
| [02:29] | or a rare combination of the… | 或者是因为结合了… |
| [02:35] | That was, uh… | 真是… |
| [02:38] | Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [02:41] | Can you please move your nuts? Yep. | 能把你的坚果拿开吗 |
| [02:48] | Married. | 结婚了 |
| [02:50] | You’re married. | 你居然结婚了 |
| [02:54] | Why does this crap always happen to… | 为什么这种破事总发生在我身上 |
| [02:59] | So, hey, maybe you should… head to the bathroom now. | 你是不是应该去一趟洗手间 |
| [03:03] | I think they’ve got a toilet in there. | 那里应该有马桶 |
| [03:35] | I couldn’t tell what sucked more… | 我分不清哪个更糟 |
| [03:37] | Being drenched in panic pudding at a cruising altitude of 36,000 feet | 在36000英尺的高空出尽洋相 |
| [03:41] | or how many people liked seeing me that way. | 还是那么多人看到我这样都很开心 |
| [03:45] | Everything okay in there? | 一切都还好吗 |
| [03:49] | Not really. | 不咋地 |
| [03:50] | My new boyfriend is someone else’s husband. | 我的男朋友居然已为人夫 |
| [03:52] | I barfed all over my Louboutins. | 名牌高跟鞋里全是呕吐物 |
| [03:54] | The plane is full of my co-workers. | 飞机上都是我的同事 |
| [03:56] | And now I’m stranded in here, | 现在我被困在这了 |
| [03:57] | naked and afraid. | 没衣服穿 害怕之极 |
| [04:01] | Ma’am, I’m afraid I’m gonna need you to vacate the lav. | 女士 恐怕得请您离开洗手间 |
| [04:04] | Okay. I’ll vacate your lav, | 好 我这就离开 |
| [04:06] | but can you at least grab me an extra stewardess outfit? | 但你能不能至少给我拿一套空姐制服 |
| [04:09] | I probably wouldn’t do the little lady tie, but the skirt, yes, | 蝴蝶结就算了 裙子可以来一件 |
| [04:13] | and the button-down, certainly.Why not? Sure… | 衬衫什么的 也行吧 |
| [04:17] | the vest. | 马甲也给我吧 |
| [04:18] | Ma’am, this is not a department store. | 女士 这里不是购物商场 |
| [04:19] | There are no extra outfits. | 没有多余的制服 |
| [04:24] | Carol-June, straight up, now, tell me… | 卡罗尔·琼 那你告诉我 |
| [04:27] | What would you do if you were me? | 如果你是我 你会怎么做 |
| [04:30] | I’d keep doing what you’re doing. | 我会继续努力 |
| [04:31] | I mean, is this cardio barre or pilates? | 健身操还是普拉提 |
| [04:34] | – You look fantastic. – Thank you. | -身材棒极了 -谢谢 |
| [04:36] | But what if you didn’t want to show this off? | 但如果我不想到处炫耀呢 |
| [04:39] | It’s amazing what you can do with three in-flight blankets tied sarong-style. | 三条飞机小毯竟能搭配出莎笼小裙风情 |
| [04:50] | I’d spent years laughing… at stupid idiots on the Internet. | 多年来 我一直在嘲笑互联网上的各种蠢货 |
| [04:54] | And now that stupid idiot was me. | 而现在 我就是那个蠢货 |
| [05:00] | Hold the elevator! Hold! | 电梯等等 等等 |
| [05:07] | Even if you are in a passionless marriage, | 即使是婚姻失去了激情 |
| [05:09] | it doesn’t mean adultery is okay. | 也不代表就可以出轨啊 |
| [05:12] | Okay, you know what I wasn’t in the mood for? | 知道我现在最没心情听什么吗 |
| [05:13] | A lecture from my hipster-crite neighbor Bryn. | 邻居布琳虚伪的说教 |
| [05:16] | She’s the worst… | 她烂爆了 |
| [05:17] | With her nail art and her chevron stripes | 她的美甲图案 V型条纹 |
| [05:18] | and her non-prescription prescription glasses | 没有度数的近视镜 |
| [05:20] | and her bffs who love to diy | 那群喜欢自己动手的闺蜜 |
| [05:22] | and their top knots and Peter Pan collars | 头顶的发髻 还有彼得潘领 |
| [05:24] | and cross body bags. | 和斜挎包 |
| [05:25] | It’s weird. She defines herself by her sexuality, | 真奇怪 她以性感自居 |
| [05:29] | but I actually think it’s the least interesting thing about her. | 但我却觉得这时她最不吸引人的地方 |
| [05:32] | Okay, first of all, I had no idea he was married | 首先 我跟他进行器官交战的时候 |
| [05:35] | when we engaged in gland-to-gland combat, | 并不知道他结婚了 |
| [05:36] | and second of all, | 其次 |
| [05:38] | I get super horny when I travel, | 我在旅行的时候很容易饥渴 |
| [05:41] | and that’s not my fault… that’s science. | 这不是我的错 有科学根据的 |
| [05:46] | We weren’t talking about you. | 我们没有在说你 |
| [05:49] | We were discussing “Fear of Flying.” | 我们在讨论《怕飞》这本书 |
| [05:52] | By Erica Jong. | 艾瑞卡·容写的 |
| [05:55] | We’re a book club. | 我们都是读书俱乐部的 |
| [05:57] | I know that. | 我知道 |
| [05:59] | How stupid do you think I am? | 你们以为我傻啊 |
| [06:03] | I tried sending an S.O. Text to my own friends | 我试着给我的朋友发短信 |
| [06:06] | to see if anyone would bring me a ginger ale… | 看看有没有人愿意给我带一杯姜汁汽水 |
| [06:08] | 我被男朋友甩了 好像还食物中毒了 | |
| [06:10] | But no luck. | 但没人愿意 |
| [06:13] | Is there a market close to me that delivers? | 附近有可以送货的市场吗 |
| [06:16] | I found five markets. | 我找到了五个市场 |
| [06:16] | 我找到了五个市场 其中两个离你很近 | |
| [06:18] | Two of them are fairly close to you. | 其中两个离你很近 |
| [06:23] | When Siri is the only person who’s there for you… | 当只有Siri愿意挺你时 |
| [06:26] | It kind of makes you realize | 会让你意识到 |
| [06:27] | being friended is not the same thing as having friends. | 互粉好友并不等于真正的朋友 |
| [06:37] | – So, any plans for the weekend? – No. | -周末有什么活动 -没有 |
| [06:41] | So, no girlfriend. | 看来你没有女朋友 |
| [06:43] | I’m just trying to determine | 我只是想确认一下 |
| [06:45] | if it’s your utter lack of personal connections | 你工作如此出色 |
| [06:47] | that makes you… so good at your job. | 是不是因为缺少人际交往 |
| [06:50] | I find it rather easy not to form personal connections | 我觉得不跟别人产生私人联系很容易 |
| [06:53] | in a city that only values wireless connection. | 尤其是城市里每个人都只想着连接无线 |
| [07:02] | Mm. Good morning. How are you? | 早上好 你好吗 |
| [07:04] | – Good morning. How are you? – I was dreading going into work. | -早上好 -我很害怕去上班 |
| [07:05] | So I waited until the coast was clear, | 所以我等到人少的时候再去 |
| [07:08] | like Katy Perry’s skin on Proactiv. | 就像在化妆品广告里凯蒂·佩里的皮肤 |
| [07:13] | Oh. I missed one. | 漏掉了一个 |
| [07:14] | Good morning, and how are you? | 早上好 你好吗 |
| [07:16] | – Did you hear? – No. | -你听说了吗 -没有 |
| [07:17] | B.F. B.S… Got played like “Flappy bird”. | 男友是混球 被他像小鸟一样玩弄 |
| [07:19] | Mortified.Com. | 丢死人.com |
| [07:20] | Then hurled, overslept, O.D.’d on the bean, | 吐满身 睡过头 豆子吃多了 |
| [07:22] | contracted legit hamster breath. Ugh. | 现在嘴里都是火腿味 |
| [07:25] | And now I’m hella-late for the staff meeting. | 现在员工大会要迟到了 |
| [07:29] | Okay. Well, have a nice day. | 好吧 祝你一天愉快 |
| [07:33] | I was praying the whole company had forgotten about my epic fail… | 我祈祷着全公司已经忘记了我出的大洋相 |
| [07:36] | Or, at the very least, was willing to make like Elsa and “Let it go.” | 或者至少把我当作艾莎一样 就随他吧 |
| [07:49] | All right, everybody, settle down. | 好 大家静一静 |
| [07:52] | Bring it home, everybody. Beautiful. Good. | 安静各位 很好 |
| [07:56] | Now, as you all know, this company took a Major hit | 大家都知道公司经历过一些挫折 |
| [07:58] | when our best-selling pediatric nasal spray | 卖得最好的儿童鼻腔喷剂 |
| [08:00] | was pulled from the shelves for causing satanic hallucinations. | 因为能引起不好的幻觉而被迫下架 |
| [08:03] | Ah, allegedly. | 只是据说能引起幻觉 |
| [08:05] | “Allegedly” Is right. | 据说 没错 |
| [08:06] | Nonetheless, the product was recalled and reformulated. | 不管怎样 产品被召回 更改配方 |
| [08:09] | But whether or not we could regain the market’s trust was… | 至于能不能赢回市场信任 |
| [08:13] | TBD. | 还悬而未决 |
| [08:14] | But now, thanks to one man, | 现在 由于有了一个人 |
| [08:17] | it’s a big, fat “D”! | 这事已经板上钉钉了 |
| [08:19] | Henry, you loon, get up here! Come on, Henry! | 亨利 好家伙 快来 快 |
| [08:23] | Come on. Yeah! | 快来 |
| [08:25] | We love this guy. | 超爱他 |
| [08:26] | Don’t worry… I’m not gonna make out with you. | 别怕 我不会非礼你的 |
| [08:28] | I’m not gonna make out with you. | 不会非礼你的 |
| [08:30] | I lied about that. | 我说谎了 |
| [08:35] | You know, I read an article | 我看到一篇文章说 |
| [08:37] | that said Asian men are more comfortable kissing on the mouth as a sign of friendship. | 亚洲男人把亲嘴当成是友谊的体现 |
| [08:42] | They’re not, no. Mm. | 并不是 |
| [08:44] | All right, well, I’ll forward it to you. | 好吧 我转给你看看 |
| [08:45] | Thank you. It’s good. | -谢谢 -写得挺好的 |
| [08:47] | Folks, this man did the impossible. | 各位 他完成了不可能的任务 |
| [08:51] | He took a product whose reputation had been badly tarnished | 他把一个名誉尽毁的产品 |
| [08:55] | and rebranded it | 重新包装 |
| [08:57] | as a product that consumers could once again love and trust. | 让消费者重新爱上 并信任这个产品 |
| [09:02] | Okay, if that dude in the vest could remarket our nasal spray, | 如果那个马甲男能够重新推广我们的鼻腔喷剂 |
| [09:05] | he could definitely remarket me. | 那他肯定也能把我重新推广一番 |
| [09:08] | And I love and trust you. | 我也爱你 信任你 |
| [09:12] | I love and trust you, too, sir. Yeah. Yeah. | -我也爱你 信任你 先生 -很好 |
| [09:16] | Take a moment. | 借一步说话 |
| [09:19] | You’re, uh, coming to my daughter’s wedding this weekend, right? | 我女儿周末婚礼 你来吧 |
| [09:21] | – Oh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world, sir. – Good. Good. | -肯定不会错过的 先生 -很好 |
| [09:26] | Bring a date. | 带个伴 |
| [09:27] | You’re always alone. It’s kind of weird. | 你总是一个人 有点奇怪 |
| [09:29] | – I wouldn’t call it weird. – It is. It is. | -我不觉得奇怪 -是很奇怪 |
| [09:34] | What are you doing in my office? | 你在我办公室干什么 |
| [09:36] | I’m Eliza, I work in sales, | 我叫伊莉莎 销售部的 |
| [09:38] | and it recently came to my attention that I have poor instincts, | 我最近发现我直觉很烂 |
| [09:40] | a weak stomach, no real friends, and… | 肠胃不好 没有朋友 还有… |
| [09:42] | Loose sexual morals? | 性道德散漫 |
| [09:43] | Have we met? | 我们见过吗 |
| [09:46] | If they make you EVP, I’m gonna murd… | 如果他升你做执行副总 我就杀了… |
| [09:50] | Oh, sorry. I see you have company. | 抱歉 你这还有别人啊 |
| [09:52] | She was just leaving. | 她正要走呢 |
| [09:53] | No, I wasn’t. | 不 我不走 |
| [09:54] | I’m not leaving until you say you’ll help me. | 你不答应帮我 我就不走 |
| [09:56] | But you can’t be helped. | 可你已经无药可救了 |
| [09:59] | You are addicted to the instant gratification | 你沉迷于那些你称为”好友” |
| [10:02] | of unearned adulation from a group of perfect strangers | 但其实只是陌生人对你的谄媚 |
| [10:05] | you insist on referring to as your “Friends.” | 给你带来的本能的满足 |
| [10:08] | Our nasal spray caused satanic hallucinations, | 我们的鼻腔喷剂能引起幻觉 |
| [10:11] | and you fixed that. | 你都搞定了 |
| [10:12] | Come on. I just want to change my image. | 拜托 我只是想改变形象 |
| [10:14] | You mean be a better person? | 你是说成为更好的人 |
| [10:16] | Or that. | 那样也行 |
| [10:17] | Look, I’m not trying to, like, tug at your heartstrings or whatever, | 我并不是想说这些来博取同情 |
| [10:19] | but I threw up really hard. | 但我真的吐得很厉害 |
| [10:22] | Like, my abs still hurt from throwing up that hard. | 到现在腹部还疼呢 |
| [10:25] | And I don’t know if either of you have ever thrown up that hard… #thestruggle. | 不知道你们俩有谁像那样吐过 #挣扎 |
| [10:28] | But it really makes you think. | 但这真的让我觉得 |
| [10:30] | Makes you think what? | 觉得什么 |
| [10:31] | I’m genuinely dying to know. | 我真是迫不及待想知道呢 |
| [10:34] | When I was sick, not one person called to see if I was okay, | 我难受时 没有人打电话过来问候 |
| [10:38] | and I don’t know why. | 我不知道为什么 |
| [10:39] | People used to hate me because I was butt. | 人们以前恨我 因为我丑[也有屁股之意] |
| [10:42] | Butt-ugly… aesthetically challenged. | 丑 不美观 |
| [10:45] | But I’m not butt anymore. | 但现在我不丑了 |
| [10:46] | Eliza, I’m sure you’re aware | 伊莉莎 你肯定知道 |
| [10:48] | it is possible to be beautiful on the outside and still… | 人是有可能外表美丽 但是 |
| [10:51] | butt on the inside. | 内心丑恶 |
| [10:53] | Like Gwyneth Paltrow. | 比如格温妮丝·帕特洛[演员] |
| [10:57] | Okay, you need to go. | 好吧 你还是走吧 |
| [10:59] | What? No. No, please. | 什么 别 别啊 |
| [11:02] | Look, I know. I know you don’t like me. | 我知道你不喜欢我 |
| [11:04] | But if you don’t like me, | 但如果你不喜欢我 |
| [11:06] | then just change me. | 那就改造我吧 |
| [11:07] | Just change me. | 改造我吧 |
| [11:11] | I don’t like you. | 我的确不喜欢你 |
| [11:17] | But I can change you. | 但我可以改造你 |
| [11:18] | Okay, please tell me you’re not actually considering this. | 别告诉我你想来真的 |
| [11:21] | – If we change your packaging… – Her “Packaging”? | -改换包装 -包装 |
| [11:24] | – Alter her formula. – She’s not a pharmaceutical product. | -更改配方 -她又不是药品 |
| [11:27] | And yet, the same principles apply. | 但同样的原则也适用 |
| [11:30] | If we just… if we soften her palette, | 让她变得清新淡雅 |
| [11:32] | improve her… taste, expand her market, | 提升品位 拓展市场 |
| [11:35] | I can transform this… vapid… | 我可以把一个讨厌无趣的 |
| [11:38] | despised social-media-obsessed narcissist | 社交控自恋狂 |
| [11:41] | into a valued and respected woman of stature. | 改造成高贵优雅的窈窕淑女 |
| [11:47] | 亲吻韩国人:绿灯 作者 马特·史密斯[神秘博士演员] | |
| [11:49] | Like Linda. | 就像琳达一样 |
| [11:50] | Like Linda. | 就像琳达一样 |
| [11:53] | Only prettier. | 只不过要比她好看 |
| [11:57] | The next day, we got right to work. | 第二天 我们直接开工 |
| [11:58] | I’ll need your implicit trust. | 你需要赢取信任 |
| [11:59] | That means you do anything and everything I say, | 也就是说 不论我怎么说你都得照做 |
| [12:02] | even if it seems unorthodox. | 即使有些听起来不太正统 |
| [12:03] | Totally, just no backdoor stuff. | 没问题 别搞后面就行 |
| [12:04] | Okay, that… that’s… come here. | 好吧 过来 |
| [12:05] | That’s another thing… | 那是另外一回事 |
| [12:07] | you mustn’t misinterpret my professional interest | 你肯定是误把我对你的专业兴趣 |
| [12:09] | as romantic interest | 当成了浪漫性趣 |
| [12:10] | because, I assure you, there isn’t any. | 我告诉你 我对你没性趣 |
| [12:11] | Oh, got it. Got it. | 明白了 |
| [12:12] | We’re just friends. | 我们只是朋友而已 |
| [12:13] | We’re not… we’re not friends. | 我们不是朋友 |
| [12:14] | And it’s important to me that you acknowledge that. | 而且你要承认这点 这对我很重要 |
| [12:16] | Fine. We’re not friends, and you’re a gay dude. | 好 我们不是朋友 你是个基佬 |
| [12:18] | I’m… I am not a gay dude. | 我不是基佬 |
| [12:22] | Just go about your day as you normally would. | 像平常一样开始你的一天吧 |
| [12:25] | – Good morning. How are you? – Oh, my God. Oh, my God. | -早上好 你好吗 -我的天呐 |
| [12:28] | That bald dude from the 12th floor took total fart blanche in the elevator, | 12楼的那个秃头在电梯里放了个大臭屁 |
| [12:31] | so if you catch a whiff of something, | 如果你闻到什么味 |
| [12:32] | it’s residual him… not me. LOL. | 是他不是我 233 |
| [12:34] | – May I point something out? – Yeah. | -我能说几句吗 -好 |
| [12:39] | Every day, you greet Eliza, do you not? | 你每天都跟伊莉莎打招呼对吗 |
| [12:40] | I sure do. I check in with everybody. | 是的 我跟每个人都问好 |
| [12:42] | And in the entire time that you’ve worked here, | 你在这工作的时间里 |
| [12:44] | has Eliza ever once asked how you are doing? | 伊莉莎有没有问过你怎么样 |
| [12:50] | You know the first thing about this woman? | 你了解这个女人吗 |
| [12:54] | Do you, uh… Do you even know her name? | 你知道她叫什么吗 |
| [13:03] | Charmonique. | 夏莫妮卡 |
| [13:05] | – Charmon… – Charmonique. | -夏末妮… -是夏莫妮卡 |
| [13:07] | Like “Monique,” but with a “Char.” | 后面是莫妮卡 但前面有个夏 |
| [13:09] | Okay, but, in my defense, | 但是 容我辩解一句 |
| [13:12] | that’s not a real name. | 根本没这种名字好吧 |
| [13:14] | Lesson number one… | 第一课 |
| [13:15] | Each and every morning as you pass by Charmonique’s desk, | 每天早上你经过夏莫妮卡时 |
| [13:17] | I want you to ask how she’s doing. | 都要跟她问好 |
| [13:19] | Totes. Coolio. | 好 没问题 |
| [13:21] | – Donezo. – Let’s start now. | -我先走了 -从今天开始 |
| [13:22] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:24] | Open your lips and repeat after me… | 张开嘴巴 跟我说 |
| [13:26] | How are you? | 你好吗 |
| [13:30] | How are you? | 你好吗 |
| [13:32] | How are you? | 你好吗 |
| [13:34] | Go-o-o-od. | 好…吧 |
| [13:38] | Then, if you will, a follow-up question… | 可以的话还要接着问一个问题 |
| [13:41] | For example, “How’d you sleep last night?” | 比如 你昨晚睡得怎么样 |
| [13:43] | You know what? Not great. | 说实话 一点都不好 |
| [13:45] | But that’s because I had my 9-year-old in bed with me. | 那是因为我九岁的孩子跟我一起睡 |
| [13:48] | See, he has sleep apnea, so… | 他有睡眠窒息症 |
| [13:50] | Did you hear that? Put the phone down. | 听到了吗 放下手机 |
| [13:51] | Off your phone. | 别玩手机了 |
| [13:52] | Apparently, Charmonique and her son didn’t sleep well last night. | 夏莫妮卡跟他儿子昨晚睡得不好 |
| [13:57] | Now it’s your turn to say something sympathetic. | 现在轮到你说些同情的话了 |
| [14:02] | I’m really glad I don’t have kids. | 我没有孩子 真是太好了 |
| [14:09] | You’re not slurping. We’re making pleasant conversation. | 不要喝出声 我们在愉快地谈话 |
| [14:11] | We are not… on our phones. | 也不要 玩手机了 |
| [14:15] | We are looking into each other’s eyes | 我们要看着彼此的眼睛 |
| [14:18] | and giving one another our undivided attention. | 把注意力完全集中到对方身上 |
| [14:22] | Good. | 很好 |
| [14:25] | I’d like you to answer these questions | 下面我需要你 |
| [14:26] | as honestly as you possibly can. | 尽可能诚实地回答以下问题 |
| [14:28] | “The thing I’m most soothed by in life is…” | 你在生活中最享受的东西是什么 |
| [14:33] | The sound of gentle rain against windows | 细雨打到窗户上的声音 |
| [14:35] | or medium rain against rooftop with overspill from gutters. | 或者是中雨打在屋顶上 雨水从沟槽里流下 |
| [14:40] | I have a rain app on my phone. | 我手机上有个模拟下雨的应用呢 |
| [14:42] | That’s pathetic. Please delete it. | 太可悲了 还是快删了吧 |
| [14:43] | It’s free. | 反正又不花钱 |
| [14:44] | “The thing I’m most confused by is…” | 最让你困惑的事物是什么 |
| [14:48] | Plus-size skinny jeans. | 加大号紧身裤 |
| [14:50] | It’s like, why? | 存在的意义是什么 |
| [14:52] | Okay. Class dismissed. | 好吧 下课了 |
| [14:58] | Uh, wait. Wait. I almost forgot. | 等等 等一下 差点忘了 |
| [15:01] | I’m giving you an assignment. | 我给你布置作业 |
| [15:05] | Sam Saperstein’s daughter is getting married, | 山姆·萨珀斯坦的女儿要结婚了 |
| [15:08] | and I’d like you to attend the event with me. | 我想让你跟我一起去参加婚礼 |
| [15:10] | I think it’ll be a chance to show | 我觉得这是个 |
| [15:12] | the higher-ups a side of yourself other than the back one. | 向领导展示你优点的好机会 |
| [15:15] | Write this down. | 把这个记下来 |
| [15:19] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [15:23] | Makeup should be light, your dress less tight. | 脸上妆容必须淡 衣物太紧不要穿 |
| [15:25] | Hair should be tame, your face softly framed. | 优雅秀发惹人爱 面部线条要柔软 |
| [15:27] | No 6-inch heels, no cleavage revealed. | 鞋跟莫要恨天高 沟沟千万不要露 |
| [15:29] | Nothing coarse, nothing sleazy, | 物品不能太低廉 污迹斑斑不美观 |
| [15:32] | and bring a wrap in case it’s breezy. | 小小披肩带身边 小风嗖嗖不受寒 |
| [15:36] | With my credit cards maxed and my own clothes too slutty, | 我的信用卡刷爆了 自己的衣服又都太风骚 |
| [15:39] | I had no choice other than to ask a friend for help. | 我没办法只有找朋友求助了 |
| [15:41] | But all the girls I knew were either drunk or at soulcycle, | 但是我认识的其他女孩不是喝多了就是在健身 |
| [15:44] | – which left… – Hold the elevator! | -那就只剩下… -电梯等等 |
| [15:49] | Bryn. | 布琳了 |
| [15:54] | Bryn, I am so screwed. | 布琳 我完蛋了 |
| [15:56] | I have this work wedding, | 我得去参加同事的婚礼 |
| [15:57] | and I don’t have anything appropriate to wear. | 可是自己没有合适的衣服穿 |
| [16:00] | And if you help me, | 如果你帮我的话 |
| [16:01] | I swear will never anonymously complain to management | 我发誓以后再也不向物业 |
| [16:04] | about your book club again. | 匿名投诉你们的读书俱乐部了 |
| [16:06] | I knew that was you! | 我就知道是你干的 |
| [16:13] | You are lucky “Make-unders” are my everything. | 幸好我这个人最爱帮人大改造 |
| [16:20] | Bryn was on board. | 布琳同意帮我了 |
| [16:22] | What I didn’t realize was | 可我没料到 |
| [16:23] | that meant the rest of her book club was on board, too. | 读书俱乐部其他人也跟着来了 |
| [16:29] | Come in. Come in. | 快进来 |
| [16:32] | How about the peach one? | 这件桃红色怎么样 |
| [16:35] | Oh, yeah, I love the peach one, | 我喜欢这件桃色的 |
| [16:36] | but it might be small in the bust. | 可是胸部会不会太紧了 |
| [16:38] | Oh, because of these? Oh, no, these aren’t real. | 你是指这个吗 没事 都是假的 |
| [16:43] | Still, it might be tight in the rear. | 可后面好像还是有点紧 |
| [16:44] | Oh, because of this? | 是因为这个吗 |
| [16:45] | Oh, no, this isn’t real. | 没事 这也是假的 |
| [16:49] | Okay. We might be in business now. | 好了 这下应该行了 |
| [16:52] | Take a seat. | 坐下 |
| [16:53] | Were you planning on doing your own hair and makeup? | 你打算自己… 弄妆发吗 |
| [16:56] | Because I don’t think that’s a good idea. | 我觉得你自己弄可不好 |
| [16:59] | As Wren cleaned out the litter box of my cat | 看着蕾恩整理 |
| [17:01] | who died six months ago | 我半年前死去猫咪的猫砂盒 |
| [17:03] | and Eyelet dumped my old lo mein into the trash, | 艾勒特把我以前的东西扔进垃圾袋 |
| [17:05] | I had to wonder… | 我不禁想 |
| [17:07] | is this what friends do for each other? | 朋友就是这样照顾彼此的吗 |
| [17:34] | These girls really know how to get ready. | 这些姑娘们真的知道怎么做准备 |
| [17:56] | You are… | 你真是… |
| [18:00] | wearing an enormous amount of fragrance. | 喷了超多香水啊 |
| [18:02] | Can’t you say anything nice? | 你就不能说句好听的吗 |
| [18:04] | Well, had you employed a lighter touch… | 如果你的香水再淡一些的话… |
| [18:05] | Never mind. | 算了 |
| [18:06] | Let me just grab the tiniest purse known to man, and then we can go. | 等我拿上世界最小迷你包然后出发吧 |
| [18:12] | – My, that is wee. – Yeah. | -确实够小 -是啊 |
| [18:14] | You don’t even want to know where I had to stash my phone. | 你绝对不想知道我把手机藏哪了 |
| [18:17] | No phones. | 不要带手机 |
| [18:18] | No… no… no wedding selfies. | 不要在婚礼上自拍 |
| [18:19] | Today’s about focusing on a beauty other than your own. | 今天你要关注除了自己之外的美 |
| [18:24] | Is there something funny? | 有什么好笑的吗 |
| [18:27] | You just called me beautiful. | 你刚才说我美 |
| [18:28] | – I absolutely didn’t. – You indirectly did. | -才没有 -间接说的 |
| [18:31] | Henry, who is this beautiful girl on your arm? | 亨利 你身边的这位美女是谁啊 |
| [18:34] | Sir, this is Eliza Dooley. | 这位是伊莉莎·杜丽 |
| [18:36] | She works in sales. | 是我们公司销售部的 |
| [18:37] | Eliza Dooley. | 伊莉莎·杜丽 |
| [18:42] | Eliza, you… you, uh… you look amazing. | 伊莉莎 你… 真是太美了 |
| [18:44] | Right? | 是吧 |
| [18:45] | – “Thank you.” – Thank you. | -说谢谢 -谢谢 |
| [18:47] | – “How are you?” – How are you? | -你们好吗 -你们好吗 |
| [18:49] | – Good! – Good! | -好啊 -好啊 |
| [18:52] | And now, in lieu of vows, | 宣誓开始前 |
| [18:55] | Maureen will recite a poem she wrote for Terrance. | 莫琳要给泰伦斯朗诵一首自己写的诗 |
| [19:00] | If I’m the fire, you’re the spark. | 我是熊熊烈火 君如火花闪烁 |
| [19:04] | If I’m the nest, you’re my lark. | 我是树上之巢 君如云雀恋窝 |
| [19:08] | If I’m the lock, you’re the key. | 我是心中一把锁 待君慢慢打开我 |
| [19:11] | If I am hook, you are smee. | 虎克船长迎风浪 君若史密伴身旁 |
| [19:15] | – Did she say “Smee”? – Yes, I believe so. | -她刚才说的是”史密”吗 -应该是的 |
| [19:18] | If I’m the eye, you’re the tear. | 我是眼睛凝望 君之泪水光芒 |
| [19:20] | If I am bagel, you’re my schmear. | 百吉饼儿喷喷香 君乃糖衣增芬芳 |
| [19:23] | Why would she be bagel? | 她为什么要做百吉饼 |
| [19:24] | It’s unclear. Shh! | 我怎么知道 |
| [19:25] | If I’m the dark, you’re the light. | 我在黑暗陷绝望 君如灯火照前方 |
| [19:29] | If I’m Ben Franklin, you’re my Kite. | 富兰克林实验忙 君是风筝引电光 |
| [19:32] | If I am Nordstrom, you’re the rack. | 我是百货大公司 君是货架满满装 |
| [19:35] | If I’m a net… | 我如一张大网… |
| [19:36] | As I listened to Maureen recite those crazy vows, | 听到莫琳朗诵这疯狂的誓词 |
| [19:39] | it hit me… | 我突然意识到 |
| [19:40] | I might get thousands of likes and retweets and favorites, | 虽然可能有成千上万人转发我的推特给我点赞 |
| [19:43] | but it’s entirely possible that no one will ever look at me | 但是绝对不会有人 |
| [19:46] | the way Terrance was looking at her. | 像泰伦斯看她一样看我 |
| [19:55] | So I did what I have always done | 所以我就像往常一样 |
| [19:56] | when I needed to distract myself from my feelings. | 做了可以分散我注意力的事 |
| [20:00] | Do you, Terrance, take Maureen | 你 泰伦斯 |
| [20:03] | to be your lawful wedded wife, | 愿意取莫琳做你的合法妻子吗 |
| [20:05] | to have and to ho… | 永结… |
| [20:14] | Sorry. Thought it was on silent. | 不好意思 我以为静音了 |
| [20:26] | I’m not used to paying attention to super-boring long stuff, okay? | 我不习惯长时间专心看什么无聊的事情好吗 |
| [20:30] | No, it’s not okay. | 不 这样不好 |
| [20:32] | It’s not just yourself you embarrassed. | 你丢的不是你一个人的脸 |
| [20:33] | – I specifically said no phones. – Okay, okay! God. | -我明确说了不要玩手机 -好吧好吧 天啊 |
| [20:36] | Haven’t you ever made a mistake before?! | 你以前就没犯过错吗 |
| [20:38] | – Yeah, I have when I agreed to help you. – Oh, really? | -有啊 我同意帮你就是个错误 -是吗 |
| [20:40] | Are you helping me, or am I helping you? | 到底是我帮你还是你帮我 |
| [20:41] | Don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t have a date for this event. | 别以为我没发现你需要个女伴来参加婚礼 |
| [20:43] | And literally anyone else in the world | 说实话 世界上任何一个其他人 |
| [20:46] | would have been a better choice. | 都比你强多了 |
| [20:47] | So you admit it. | 那你是承认咯 |
| [20:50] | And it’s no surprise you don’t have a date, | 没人陪你来我才不奇怪 |
| [20:51] | because you are an unfun man. | 因为你没聊到家了 |
| [20:56] | “Unfun” is not a word. | “没聊”不是个词 |
| [20:57] | And according to your ex-girlfriend’s blog, | 根据你前女友的博客 |
| [20:59] | that’s why she broke up with you, so… | 就是这样她才跟你分手的 |
| [21:01] | My ex-girlfriend? | 我前女友 |
| [21:01] | Did you Google me? Don’t you dare Google me! | 你百度我了吗 你竟敢百度我 |
| [21:04] | I was just confirming what I already know… | 我不过是确认一下我已经知道的事 |
| [21:07] | You’re a holier-than-thou, antisocial, | 你就是个狂妄自大 反社会 |
| [21:09] | judgmental, hypercritical, workaholic… | 心存偏见 过于苛刻 只会工作的 |
| [21:15] | Coxcomb! | 自大狂 |
| [21:17] | Oh, I’m a coxcomb? | 我是个自大狂吗 |
| [21:18] | Well, you, my dear, are a lost cause. | 而你呢 亲爱的 就是一事无成 |
| [21:24] | Super mean! | 真刻薄 |
| [21:32] | The next day, I decided I was done socializing | 第二天 我决定不去交际了 |
| [21:35] | and back to social networking | 重回社交网络 |
| [21:37] | because the real world sucks. | 因为现实世界糟透了 |
| [21:39] | You have a good night, now. | 晚安 再见 |
| [21:41] | You, too, Charmon… | 你也是 夏莫妮卡… |
| [21:46] | Uh, where’s your mom? | 你妈妈呢 |
| [21:47] | She went to go rinse my lunchbox out. | 她去帮我洗午餐盒了 |
| [21:50] | You gonna let her get some sleep tonight? | 你今晚会让她好好睡觉吗 |
| [21:52] | No. But you know what? | 不 但是你知道吗 |
| [21:54] | We got him one of them sleep-apnea masks. | 我们给他买了个治疗睡眠窒息的面罩 |
| [21:56] | Come on, Kevin. Let’s go. | 走吧 凯文 我们走 |
| [21:58] | He looks like Bane, but he sleeps like a baby. | 他虽然看上去像贝恩 但是睡得跟婴儿一样 |
| [22:02] | “I was born in the darkness.” | “我出生于黑暗之中” |
| [22:04] | Why’d Bane sound like the pepperidge farm guy? | 为什么贝恩说话的声音像个农夫 |
| [22:06] | I don’t know, but he did. | 我也不知道 可他就是这样 |
| [22:12] | Hold up. Did we just have a friendly exchange | 等等 刚才我们是不是 |
| [22:14] | that had nothing to do with you? | 友好地进行了一次与你无关的对话 |
| [22:17] | I think we did. | 好像是啊 |
| [22:18] | Well, whatever you’re doing with Mr. Man, | 不管你在跟他干什么 |
| [22:21] | it’s working, okay? | 确实管用 是不是啊 |
| [22:27] | Henry? | 亨利 |
| [22:32] | Henry? | 亨利 |
| [22:35] | Henry? | 亨利 |
| [22:36] | I can see you. | 我能看到你 |
| [22:38] | You live in a glass house. | 你住在玻璃房子里 |
| [22:43] | Henry! | 亨利 |
| [22:45] | Please open this door right now. | 快把门打开好吗 |
| [22:51] | You opened. | 你开门了啊 |
| [22:53] | This is the exit for my home. Excuse me. | 这是我家的出口 借过一下 |
| [22:57] | Oh, come on. You… you were leaving? | 拜托 你是真的要出去吗 |
| [22:58] | Yes, I was. | 是的 |
| [23:02] | Henry, wait. Wait. | 亨利 等等 等等 |
| [23:07] | I’m not a lost cause. | 我并不是一事无成 |
| [23:09] | What you’re doing with me… it’s working. | 你对我做的事 起作用了 |
| [23:11] | I wasn’t on my phone because I was bored. | 我玩手机不是因为无聊 |
| [23:13] | – That wedding gave me feels, and… – “Feels.” | -是因为婚礼让我很有感触 -还感触 |
| [23:14] | And that scared me, | 那让我很害怕 |
| [23:15] | and I… like, I lashed out and I called you a coxcomb, | 结果我还那样吼你 说你是自大狂 |
| [23:19] | which was probably an incorrect use of the word. | 这个词是不是也没这个用法 |
| [23:22] | No. Uh, I looked it up. It’s archaic, | 不 之前那个我也查过了 是个古词 |
| [23:24] | but it’s dead on. | 不过你用得挺准确 |
| [23:28] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [23:30] | Sounded a little bit like an apology. | 听起来你像是在跟我道歉啊 |
| [23:33] | And… | 那么… |
| [23:35] | I’m sorry, too. | 我也很抱歉 |
| [23:41] | Medium rainfall on roof with gentle overspill from gutters… | 中雨打在屋顶上 雨水从沟槽里流出 |
| [23:44] | It’s your favorite, isn’t it? | 这不是你最喜欢的吗 |
| [23:46] | No. Eliza, don’t. | 伊莉莎 别拍 |
| [23:48] | You think that you’re getting it… | 你以为你把握住了当下 |
| [23:52] | But you are, in fact, missing it. | 但其实却是失去了 |
| [23:56] | And what about you… do you get it? | 那你呢 你把握到了吗 |
| [23:59] | I get it. | 是的 |
| [24:00] | I get it. | 当然了 |
| [24:00] | You don’t get it. I don’t think you get it. | 你没有感受到 我觉得你没有 |
| [24:02] | You don’t think that I’m getting it? | 你不会真的以为我没有吧 |
| [24:03] | I think I should tell you how | 我觉得我该告诉你 |
| [24:05] | to get it! | 如何感受当下 |
| [24:06] | Oh! | 不要 |
| [24:07] | Something told me it had been a while since anyone gave Henry a push… | 直觉告诉我很久没人推亨利一把了 |
| [24:12] | And sometimes, | 有时候 |
| [24:13] | we all need a push. | 我们都需要别人推一把 |
| [24:15] | See? I get it. | 瞧 我感受到了 |
| [24:17] | I get it. | 感受到了 |
| [24:24] | See, this is exactly the kind of thing that we need to work on. | 这正是我们要努力改善的地方 |
| [24:27] | It’s not funny when someone gets injured. | 别人受伤了 可一点都不好笑啊 |
| [24:29] | Henry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re totally right. | 不好意思 不好意思 |
| [24:31] | I’ll work on that, I swear. | 你说得很对 我会努力改的 |
| [24:33] | Sorry. | 真的很抱歉 |
| [24:35] | – Okay, that’s tomorrow’s lesson. – Got it. | -好 明天我们就学这个 -知道了 |
| [24:37] | – Showing compassion for others. – Great. | -要对别人有同情心 -好啊 |
| [24:39] | And after that, you can come with me to soulcycle. | 之后你可以跟我一起去健身 |
| [24:42] | Yeah, I’m not going with you to soulcycle. | 我才不跟你一起去健身 |
| [24:44] | Don’t you want a rock-hard ass? | 你不想拥有坚实的臀部吗 |
| [24:46] | No, I don’t. | 我才不想 |