| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Social media can be confusing if you’re super old and dumb. | 对于又老又无聊的人 社交媒体很难懂 |
| [00:04] | Why did you just favorite that tweet? She called you ugly. | 这条为什么要点赞 她说你丑 |
| [00:06] | Because she’s a hater. | 因为她黑我 |
| [00:07] | I love my haters. They make me famous. | 我爱黑我的人 黑黑能更红 |
| [00:09] | You’re not famous. | 你可不红 |
| [00:10] | I am in the twitterverse. | 推特世界里我就很红 |
| [00:11] | I see. | 明白了 |
| [00:12] | And your favorite thing is when people insult your looks? | 对你来说最赞的事就是别人贬低你的外貌 |
| [00:15] | Well, it’s not my favorite thing. | 并不是我认为最赞的事 |
| [00:16] | Yet, you’re favorited it. | 那你还点赞 |
| [00:17] | Favoriting an insult is a way of showing it doesn’t hurt you. | 别人黑你 你还点赞 说明它伤不到你 |
| [00:20] | But it should hurt you. | 但应该伤到你的呀 |
| [00:21] | And maybe if I was still ugly, it would. | 如果我还是奇丑无比的话 也许会 |
| [00:23] | Having haters online means that you made it. | 网上有人黑 证明你成功了 |
| [00:26] | Okay, but having haters in real life | 好吧 但现实生活中有人黑 |
| [00:28] | means that people hate you. | 说明人们真的恨你 |
| [00:53] | I’m sorry, but did you see what she was wearing? | 不好意思 你们看到她穿的啥了吗 |
| [00:56] | I have cotton briefs that cover more. | 我的棉内裤都遮得比她多 |
| [00:58] | I can’t believe H.R. hasn’t cited her for inappropriate office attire. | 不敢相信人力竟然没说她着装不宜办公 |
| [01:01] | Please — she’s probably slept with everyone in H.R. | 拜托 她估计跟人力资源部的人都睡了个遍 |
| [01:04] | How do you think she got to be the number-one sales rep? | 不然你以为她怎么当上最佳销售代表的 |
| [01:07] | You’re killing me! | 笑死我了 |
| [01:09] | Can’t be that funny. | 有那么搞笑吗 |
| [01:11] | It’s like, “Hey, there, sweet potato. I’m on to you. | 它说 嘿 小地瓜 我盯上你了 |
| [01:13] | “You’re not a french fry, | 你又不是薯条 |
| [01:14] | stop showing up with my burger.” | 别总跟我的汉堡一起出现 |
| [01:16] | You’re hilarious. You should be President. | 你太搞笑了 你应该当总统 |
| [01:20] | Eliza, may I speak with you for a moment in my office? | 伊莉莎 能到我办公室来谈谈吗 |
| [01:32] | – Charlie, hold my calls. – Uh, no one called. | -查理 有电话别转给我 -没人打电话 |
| [01:34] | Good. Let’s keep it that way. | 很好 就保持这样的状态 |
| [01:36] | I can’t control who calls the office. | 我无法控制谁会打来电话 |
| [01:39] | Charlie, I beg. | 查理 我求你了 |
| [01:42] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [01:44] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [01:50] | What do you think you were doing out there with that guy from Business Affairs? | 你在那跟商务部的家伙干啥呢 |
| [01:53] | What — | 你… |
| [01:54] | Guys like it when you laugh at their jokes | 男人讲笑话的时候喜欢你给他捧场 |
| [01:55] | and make them feel powerful. | 也喜欢你让他们觉得自己很强大 |
| [01:56] | President — like that guy could be President. | 总统 就凭他还当总统 |
| [01:58] | You’re right. Oh, God, you’re so smart. | 你说得对 天呐 你真聪明 |
| [02:00] | You know, you should be on the Supreme Court. | 你应该去最高法院 |
| [02:02] | Well, I do consider myself fair and impart– | 我的确觉得自己公正秉直… |
| [02:05] | That is not gonna work on me. | 这招对我没用 |
| [02:07] | And while we’re at it, do you think that these tight tights | 既然说到这了 你觉得这些紧紧裤 |
| [02:09] | and those short shorts and those high high heels | 吊吊带和高跟跟 |
| [02:10] | are appropriate office attire? | 穿着办公合适吗 |
| [02:12] | You sound like Joan and the Fuggalos. | 你这口气就像是琼恩和小丑乐队的伪粉 |
| [02:14] | Eliza, this isn’t the twitterverse. | 伊莉莎 这里不是推特的世界 |
| [02:16] | You have to think about how you are perceived in this office. | 你必须想想办公室里别人对你的看法 |
| [02:19] | No, I have to think about how I’m perceived outside this office, | 不对 我应该想想办公室之外的人对我的看法 |
| [02:22] | which is hot, | 那就是火辣性感 |
| [02:23] | which is what helps me sell drugs to repressed, old doctors, | 这样有助于我卖药给那些压抑的老医生 |
| [02:25] | which is how I got to be the number-one sales rep. | 所以我才能成为最佳销售代表 |
| [02:26] | Well, people are gonna get the wrong impression. | 这样人们会有误会的 |
| [02:28] | When you dress like this and you act like this… | 你穿成这样 又这样搔首弄姿 |
| [02:31] | …people are gonna assume | 人们会认为 |
| [02:32] | that you’re sleeping with President Sweet Potato. | 你跟地瓜总统有一腿 |
| [02:35] | I am sleeping with him. | 确实有一腿啊 |
| [02:36] | I sleep with him all the time. | 我一直都跟他上床 |
| [02:38] | Since when? | 什么时候开始的 |
| [02:40] | Let me check. | 我查查 |
| [02:42] | Oh, here. | 找到了 |
| [02:43] | First text from Freddy — | 弗雷迪的第一条短信 |
| [02:44] | 你比我的笔记本电脑 底座还火热 | |
| [02:44] | “You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop” — | 你比我的笔记本电脑底座还火热 |
| [02:47] | 2 1/2 weeks ago. | 两周半之前 |
| [02:48] | 2 — 2 1/2 weeks ago, and you’re already intimate? | 两周半 你们就开始亲热了 |
| [02:50] | “Intimate”? | 亲热 |
| [02:52] | Is that how old people say “Sex”? | 老年人这么说”上床”吗 |
| [02:54] | No. Yes. | 才不 是的 |
| [02:56] | Eliza, this is your second office relationship | 伊莉莎 我才认识你几天 |
| [02:58] | in the short time that I’ve known you. | 这就已经是你的第二段办公室恋情了 |
| [03:00] | And I use the word “relationship” very loosely. | 我说的还不是严格意义上的”恋情” |
| [03:02] | Okay, don’t get all slut-shamey on me | 不要因为你不懂我们这代人 |
| [03:03] | just ’cause you don’t get my generation. | 就想要说我风骚可耻 |
| [03:06] | It just so happens we’re a lot more cas about sex | 我们对于性 要比你们婴儿潮时期出生的人 |
| [03:08] | than you baby boomers. | 随意多了 |
| [03:09] | I’m not a — I’m not a baby boomer. | 我才不是婴儿潮时期出生的 |
| [03:12] | Yes, you are. | 你就是 |
| [03:13] | I fall squarely within the parameters of Generation “X,” | 我妥妥的属于X一代 |
| [03:15] | thank you very much. | 非常感谢 |
| [03:16] | But, Henry, this is one area | 可是亨利 在这一点上 |
| [03:18] | where I’m not sure you should be advising me — | 我不确定你可以给我建议 |
| [03:20] | I mean, you’re so out of touch, | 你已经跟时代失去联系[触摸]了 |
| [03:22] | you’re not even on Facebook. | 连脸书都不上 |
| [03:23] | Hey, I’d rather be out of touch | 我宁愿落伍 |
| [03:25] | than touching everything that walks. | 也不愿意见着活人就去摸 |
| [03:34] | See? | 看到没 |
| [03:35] | It hurts when girls don’t laugh at your jokes. | 你说笑话女生不笑的话 挺难受的 |
| [03:39] | Eliza, you — you asked me to help you cultivate meaningful relationships. | 伊莉莎 你让我帮你建立良好的人际关系 |
| [03:43] | Is that what you think you’re doing with Freddy? | 你跟弗雷迪之间是这样吗 |
| [03:45] | Could be. | 有可能哦 |
| [03:46] | Do you two ever make advance plans? | 你们会一起计划未来吗 |
| [03:48] | Kind of. | 算有吧 |
| [03:54] | Have you and Freddy ever been on an actual date? | 你跟弗雷迪真正约会过吗 |
| [03:57] | Basically. | 基本上有吧 |
| [04:05] | Come on, Eliza. | 拜托 伊莉莎 |
| [04:06] | Have you and Freddy even been outside together? | 你跟弗雷迪一起出去过吗 |
| [04:09] | For the most part. | 大部分时间是的 |
| [04:12] | Does his wraparound terrace count? | 他家露天阳台算吗 |
| [04:18] | I hate to break it to you, but I’m gonna. | 我不想告诉你真相 但我还是要说 |
| [04:23] | You are what Jamie Foxx and other men of my generation | 你就是杰米·福克斯和我们这一代人 |
| [04:25] | refer to as a booty call. | 所称的”炮友” |
| [04:28] | And if your behavior persists, | 如果你继续这样下去 |
| [04:29] | that is all you will ever be. | 那你就永远如此了 |
| [04:32] | Whatevs. | 管他呢 |
| [04:33] | If I wanted more, there could totally be more. | 如果我想要更多 我完全可以更进一步 |
| [04:36] | But the truth is, I wasn’t so sure, | 可事实是 我并不确定 |
| [04:38] | so I decided to feel Freddy out | 所以我决定在弗雷迪跟我”深入沟通”后 |
| [04:40] | after he was done feeling me up. | 跟他进行深入沟通 |
| [04:44] | Welcome. | 不客气 |
| [04:46] | Hey, uh, what do you think of our relation thingy? | 你觉得我们之间的关系如何 |
| [04:52] | I think it’s awesome. | 棒极了 |
| [04:54] | How many favorites my “Sweet potato” tweet got? | 我的”地瓜”推特收到了几个赞 |
| [04:55] | Six. | 六个 |
| [04:56] | But seriously, would you ever want to, like, | 说真的 你有没有想过 |
| [04:59] | go outside… with me? | 我们一起 去外面 |
| [05:03] | Hmm. Never really thought about it. | 还真没想过 |
| [05:05] | Guess I, uh, kind of like what we have inside. | 我还是喜欢咱们在室内的活动吧 |
| [05:13] | Want to take an after-sex pic? | 要不要来个事后自拍 |
| [05:15] | Sure. | 好 |
| [05:21] | Eardrops. | 滴耳剂 |
| [05:23] | Hear-drops. No more teardrops with eardrops. | 滴耳不滴泪 |
| [05:26] | Don’t fear drops. | 恐惧无所谓 |
| [05:27] | The ear pops. The pain stops. | 双耳不再累 疼痛随风飞 |
| [05:30] | Sir? | 先生 |
| [05:30] | Uh, my parents are in town. | 我爸妈来了 |
| [05:32] | Charlie, it’s back to square one now. | 查理 你害我又回到起点了 |
| [05:35] | I don’t hear my voice — I only hear your voice. | 我听不到自己的声音 满脑子都是你的声音 |
| [05:37] | Should we just these “My parents are in town” drops? | 这玩意能叫”我爸妈来了”滴液吗 |
| [05:39] | Does that sound like a good name? | 这名字听起来很好吗 |
| [05:42] | Just kidding. You can go now. | 开玩笑的 你去吧 |
| [05:44] | But you really did ruin my train of thought. | 但你真的扰乱了我的思绪 |
| [05:46] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [05:53] | Eardrops. | 滴耳剂 |
| [05:54] | F– | 恐惧… |
| [05:55] | What are you still doing here? | 你还在这干啥呢 |
| [05:57] | Here? Work. I’m working. | 我这在工作呢 |
| [05:58] | What are you doing here? | 你来做什么 |
| [05:59] | Oh, well, we are pre-partying down in the lab. | 我们在实验室里为派对热身 |
| [06:02] | You coming tonight? | 你今晚来吗 |
| [06:03] | It’s Sharon from I.T.’s birthday. | IT部的莎伦今天过生日 |
| [06:05] | Oh. Uh, no, I got work to do — | 不去了 我还有工作 |
| [06:07] | Plus, uh, I don’t really know Sharon, so I wasn’t invited. | 再说 我跟莎伦不怎么熟 她没邀请我 |
| [06:09] | Nobody knows Sharon. | 谁都不认识莎伦 |
| [06:11] | She’s just an idea. | 她只是个概念而已 |
| [06:15] | I’m sorry. I am really drunk. | 抱歉 我也是醉了 |
| [06:17] | Um, everybody knows Sharon, | 大家都认识莎伦 |
| [06:19] | and she sent out a Facebook invite. | 她在脸书上发了邀请 |
| [06:22] | Oh. I’m not on Facebook. | 我不上脸书 |
| [06:23] | Wait. How do you know who from high school’s gotten ugly? | 等等 那你怎么知道哪个高中同学长残了 |
| [06:26] | You’re just walking around, not knowing who’s ugly? | 你就这样 丝毫不知道谁长残了吗 |
| [06:29] | I-I have my suspicions. | 我是有所怀疑 |
| [06:34] | Henry’s not on Facebook. You know that? | 你们知道吗 亨利居然不玩脸书 |
| [06:36] | – What?! – I’m on — I’m on LinkedIn! | -什么 -我有用领英 |
| [06:37] | Did you tell them I’m on LinkedIn? | 你给他们说我上领英网了吗 |
| [06:38] | – Oh, don’t make it worse. – No. | -越抹越黑 -不 |
| [06:40] | – No. – I have a LinkedIn profi– | -别解释 -我有领英账号的 |
| [06:52] | All right. Fine. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [06:54] | Let’s see who got ugly. | 看看谁长残了 |
| [07:00] | Smelly Terry from camp really turned it around. | 夏令营的臭臭特里大翻身了啊 |
| [07:04] | Is that his wife? | 那是他老婆吗 |
| [07:04] | My God! She looks like a boat-show model. | 老天 她好像船展模特啊 |
| [07:07] | Maybe ’cause she’s standing on a boat. | 可能是因为她站在船上面吧 |
| [07:09] | Mm. Smelly Terry has a boat. | 臭臭特里居然有船 |
| [07:12] | Geez. | 老天 |
| [07:19] | 珍妮·希格斯 0位共同好友 | |
| [07:22] | My first friend is my mom, just like in life. | 第一个好友是老妈 简直是人生重演 |
| [07:27] | Facebook — mildly entertaining, certainly not all-consuming. | 脸书 着实有趣 而且并不需要劳神费心 |
| [07:31] | 安德里亚·林恩 上传了一段视频 小宝宝真口耐 | |
| [07:43] | Yes! I’ve always felt that. | 耶 我一直都这么认为 |
| [07:47] | Okay, you were right. | 好吧 你是对的 |
| [07:48] | Freddy doesn’t want to go outside with me. | 弗雷迪不想跟我一起出去 |
| [07:50] | He just likes what we have inside, | 他只喜欢我们在室内的活动 |
| [07:52] | which means you and Jamie Foxx have a point. | 也就是说 你和杰米·福克斯说的没错 |
| [07:56] | Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [07:57] | Mm. Yes. I was just up all night working — | 还好 昨晚熬夜工作来着 |
| [08:01] | Here at work, on work stuff. | 在工作场所 做工作 |
| [08:02] | Well, work on me. | 快来做做我的工作 |
| [08:04] | Should I be trying | 我是不是应该 |
| [08:05] | to get Freddy to take me more seriously or whatever? | 让弗雷迪更加严肃对待我们的关系 |
| [08:07] | I mean, I’m fine with the booty-call status for now, | 我对现在的炮友状态没什么意见 |
| [08:09] | but at some point, I’m gonna want to be first lady, you know? | 但有时 我也想当第一夫人呀 你懂吗 |
| [08:12] | To President Sweet Potato? | 地瓜总统的第一夫人吗 |
| [08:14] | Not necessarily. | 不一定 |
| [08:15] | I just want to know that I’m on the ballot. | 我只是想让他知道 选举投票名单上有我 |
| [08:16] | First ladies aren’t on the ballot. | 第一夫人不用投票 |
| [08:17] | Well, it’s just an honor to be nominated. | 那么 能被提名我很荣幸 |
| [08:19] | Oh, God. If you’re serious, | 天呐 如果你是认真的 |
| [08:22] | stop responding when he texts, “‘sup?” | 他下次再发”咋样”[约吗] 你就不要回 |
| [08:24] | If he wants to know ‘sup, | 如果他想知道你咋样了 |
| [08:26] | he can stop by your desk and form a full sentence. | 他可以走到你桌前 说出完整的句子 |
| [08:29] | Totes. | 欧… |
| [08:31] | –ally. | 欧克 |
| [08:35] | No. | 不行 |
| [08:36] | He needs to know ‘sup. | 他得知道我咋样了 |
| [08:39] | No. | 不行 |
| [08:49] | That was for my mom, I swear. | 拍给我老妈看的 我发誓 |
| [08:54] | You have to break the cycle. | 你得打破恶性循环 |
| [08:55] | Freddy will never see you any differently | 如果你继续跟他短信聊骚 这么咬笔的话 |
| [08:57] | if you keep sexting and sucking on pens — | 弗雷迪永远不会对你另眼相看的 |
| [08:59] | What are you doing sucking on that pen like that? | 你这么咬着笔干啥 |
| [09:00] | That is toxic. | 那玩意有毒 |
| [09:03] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [09:03] | I thought Freddy was looking over here. | 我还以为弗雷迪在朝这看呢 |
| [09:06] | That’s exactly what I’m talking about — | 我要说的就是这个 |
| [09:07] | Not everything you do should center around Freddy. | 你不能总是围着弗雷迪转 |
| [09:10] | You have to foster other interests, | 应该去培养些其他兴趣 |
| [09:11] | think about other things. | 想点别的事 |
| [09:13] | What were you doing before you two got together? | 你们好上之前你都做什么 |
| [09:14] | Oh, um, I-I think I was doing… | 我好像在做… |
| [09:18] | Troy? | 跟特洛伊做 |
| [09:19] | Oh, God. | 老天 |
| [09:21] | You need to become the kind of person | 你得变成那种 |
| [09:22] | who doesn’t spend all her time thinking about the opposite sex. | 不会一直想着两性之事的人 |
| [09:26] | So, like, a lesbian? | 所以要变拉拉吗 |
| [09:28] | No. Just a person with varied interests. | 不是 要成为一个有多种兴趣的人 |
| [09:31] | Oh. Like, what interests? Can you be more specific? | 什么兴趣 能说明白点么 |
| [09:33] | Like, any interests — | 任何兴趣都行 |
| [09:34] | Science, politics, woodworking, books, nature — | 科学 政治 木工 书籍 自然 |
| [09:38] | Literally anything besides fixating on men. | 只要别老想着男人就行 |
| [09:41] | Find a hobby. Join a club. | 找个爱好 参加个俱乐部 |
| [09:44] | I knew just where to start — | 我知道从哪开始 |
| [09:46] | With my neighbor Bryn, who ran a book club for adult virgins. | 找邻居布琳 她有一个大龄处女的读书俱乐部 |
| [09:50] | Bryn? | 布琳 |
| [09:51] | Girl, I haven’t seen you in forevs. | 好久不见了呀 |
| [09:53] | I saw you at the mailboxes yesterday. | 昨天我还在邮箱那见到你了 |
| [09:56] | You dropped all your Victoria’s Secret catalogs on the floor, | 你把维秘购物目录全扔到地上了 |
| [09:58] | even though there’s a recycling bin right there. | 明明旁边就有一个可回收垃圾箱 |
| [10:00] | You should have said hi. | 你咋没跟我打招呼呢 |
| [10:02] | So, I’ve been thinking a lot about you | 我一直在惦记着你们 |
| [10:03] | and your interests and your hobbies, | 你们的兴趣爱好 |
| [10:05] | and it’s weird we aren’t closer, | 真奇怪我们居然没有走得更近 |
| [10:07] | given how much we have in common. | 毕竟我们有很多相同点呀 |
| [10:09] | How much who has in common? | 谁跟谁有相同点 |
| [10:10] | You and I. | 咱们呀 |
| [10:11] | Like, that book you’re reading, | 比如 你们在读的这本书 |
| [10:12] | “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time” | 《深夜小狗神秘事件》 |
| [10:17] | I’m reading that, too. | 我也在读呢 |
| [10:18] | – You’re reading? – Yeah. | -你也读 -对呀 |
| [10:20] | Yeah, with the dog | 是呀 有小狗 |
| [10:22] | and the night-time and the curiosity | 在深夜 很神秘 |
| [10:24] | and, like, the incident and the dog of it all. | 还有小狗发生的神秘事件 |
| [10:26] | I’d love to talk way more about it sometime. | 有空的话 我很乐意更深入地谈谈 |
| [10:29] | – You would? – Yeah. | -真的吗 -是啊 |
| [10:30] | There’s a lot of stuff you guys don’t know about me. | 我有好多事你们都不知道呢 |
| [10:33] | What do you think, Bryn? | 你意下如何 布琳 |
| [10:35] | No one’s ever asked to be in your book club before. | 以前还没人主动申请加入你的读书俱乐部呢 |
| [10:39] | Be at my place tomorrow night, 8:00 p.m. | 明晚八点来我家 |
| [10:41] | Oh, my God. Thank you. | 天呐 谢谢 |
| [10:43] | I will definitely be there | 我一定准时去 |
| [10:44] | instead of having sex with someone. | 不会去跟别人乱搞的 |
| [10:46] | – Thanks. – Okay. | -谢谢 -客气 |
| [10:48] | While I was picking up a book, | 这边我拿起书来读 |
| [10:50] | Henry was trying to resist the one book | 而那边亨利正在努力抗拒着 |
| [10:51] | that’s impossible to put down. | 一本一看就停不下来的书 |
| [10:53] | He was figuring out what every grandmother | 他现在发现了一件 |
| [10:55] | had figured out four years ago — | 所有老奶奶四年前就发现的事 |
| [10:57] | Facebook is crack. | 脸书似毒品 |
| [11:05] | Go on and turn up that bass-line selector! | 贝司音量加大 |
| [11:09] | Really, Charlie? Palm Springs with a fake patois? | 搞什么 查理 去棕榈泉假装说人家的方言 |
| [11:12] | Me know your parents not in town. | 俺知道乃父母米有来 |
| [11:14] | Henry? We’re FaceTime’ing. | 亨利 我们在视频哎 |
| [11:15] | Oh, yeah, how about that? | 是啊 谁说不是呢 |
| [11:17] | Um, so I just wanted you to know that I took your advice, | 我是想告诉你 我听取了你的建议 |
| [11:19] | and I joined a book club. | 加入了一个读书俱乐部 |
| [11:21] | I’m at the Salvation Army right now | 我现在正在救世军商店 |
| [11:22] | looking for an asexual ensemble to wear while reading. | 寻找读书时候穿的不让人”浮想联翩”的衣服 |
| [11:25] | What do you think of this? | 你觉得这件怎么样 |
| [11:26] | Shouldn’t you be reading the book | 你现在不是应该在看书吗 |
| [11:27] | instead of worrying about what to wear | 而不是去担心看书时 |
| [11:28] | while reading the book? | 要穿什么衣服 |
| [11:29] | Well, I’m eight pages in. It’s not good. | 我都看了八页了 不好看 |
| [11:32] | Oh, but I forgot to tell you — | 对了 我忘记跟你说了 |
| [11:34] | I haven’t responded to Freddy all day, | 我已经一天没搭理弗雷迪了 |
| [11:36] | and he texted me like five times last night. | 他昨晚足足给我发了有五次短信 |
| [11:38] | It’s like, desperate much? | 简直饥渴难耐 |
| [11:41] | Why does my mom keep poking me? | 我妈为啥老戳我 |
| [11:43] | Hey, are you — are you on Facebook right now? | 我说你… 你是在上脸书吗 |
| [11:47] | Okay, so, I might have also taken your advice | 我也听取了你的建议 |
| [11:49] | and engaged in some light facebook-ery. | 稍微上了下脸书 |
| [11:51] | Oh, that is so cute! | 不错嘛 |
| [11:53] | Look at you, using Facebook on your desktop | 瞧瞧你 都学会用台式机上脸书了 |
| [11:55] | like it’s 2011 again. | 简直像是回到了2011年 |
| [11:56] | You know there’s an App — right? For your phone. | 你知道手机上有脸书的应用程序吧 |
| [11:59] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [12:01] | On my phone — what a waste of time. | 我的手机 这样多浪费时间 |
| [12:04] | Well, have fun. | 玩得开心哦 |
| [12:05] | Just don’t start stalking your exes. | 不过记住不要去偷窥你的前任 |
| [12:07] | You don’t want to go down that rabbit hole. | 这可是一条不归路啊 |
| [12:08] | Trust. | 相信我 |
| [12:09] | Oh, I trust… me not to do that. | 我当然相信…我自己不会那样做的 |
| [12:13] | Okay. | 行了 |
| [12:14] | Well, read your book. Bye, Eliza. | 你快去看你的书吧 拜拜 伊莉莎 |
| [12:16] | B– | 拜… |
| [12:17] | But it was too late. | 但是已经晚了 |
| [12:18] | Once the option of stalking your exes is presented, | 一旦有了偷窥前任的机会 |
| [12:20] | you can’t not do it. | 你就会情不自禁 |
| [12:22] | It’s like crack. | 就跟吸毒一样 |
| [12:23] | It’s weird how much stuff is like crack. | 好多事都跟吸毒一样会上瘾 真是太诡异了 |
| [12:26] | Olivia had a baby? | 奥利维亚生宝宝了吗 |
| [12:29] | What’s that? | 怎么回事 |
| [12:30] | Why’s my name — why am I a baby? | 为什么我的名字…为什么我成了宝宝 |
| [12:33] | What? | 搞什么 |
| [12:35] | No, no, no, no. | 不不不 |
| [12:37] | No. No. | 不要啊 |
| [12:39] | No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No. | 不不不不不 不行 |
| [12:44] | Undo, damn it. | 快撤销 该死 |
| [12:45] | Undo. | 撤销 |
| [12:47] | You undo, damn it. | 给我撤销啊混蛋 |
| [12:53] | She’s not. | 她没有来 |
| [12:56] | Did you guys already start? | 你们已经开始了吗 |
| [12:57] | I got hung up at Goodwill. | 我在二手店耽搁了 |
| [12:58] | You look amazing. | 你看起来很不错啊 |
| [13:01] | Sorry if I smell like dead people. | 抱歉我身上一股死人的味道 |
| [13:02] | We all do. | 我们都是 |
| [13:04] | That’s how you know it’s vintage. | 这样才有古老神秘感 |
| [13:06] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:10] | No cellphones at book club. | 读书俱乐部上不能用手机哦 |
| [13:11] | Silent, please. | 请调成静音 |
| [13:13] | I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [13:14] | Homemade pop-tart? | 自制果酱馅饼 |
| [13:15] | You made these? | 你自己做的吗 |
| [13:17] | It’s really not that hard. | 其实不难做 |
| [13:18] | You just need your standard flaky pastry recipe, | 只需要标准的酥饼食谱 |
| [13:20] | a double boiler to make the filling. | 再用双组装加热器做馅儿就行 |
| [13:22] | I did chocolate hazelnut and raspberry minted walnut. | 我自己做的巧克力榛子树莓核桃碎 |
| [13:24] | Then, you know, a fluted cutting wheel, | 然后还需要有凹槽的刀盘 |
| [13:26] | parchment, and, of course, baking sheets. | 羊皮纸 当然 还得有烤盘 |
| [13:28] | But they also have them at Gelson’s | 但是盖尔森家里有卖啊 |
| [13:30] | and sometimes even Rite Aid. | 有时来爱德店里也有 |
| [13:32] | Or is that not the point? | 难道这不是重点吗 |
| [13:34] | Okay, ladies, let’s get this book club started. | 好了 女士们 我们读书俱乐部现在开始吧 |
| [13:37] | I’d like to throw it to Bryn. | 下面有请布琳 |
| [13:38] | Bryn? | 布琳 |
| [13:39] | I would like to begin | 首先 我想表达一下 |
| [13:41] | by expressing how struck I remain | 哈顿对语言的运用 |
| [13:43] | by Haddon’s use of language. | 对我造成的深深的影响 |
| [13:46] | Why is your bookmark only like two pages in? | 你的书签为什么好像才标到第二页 |
| [13:50] | Oh, uh, well, actually, it’s eight pages in, | 这个啊 其实是第八页 |
| [13:53] | so no spoilers. | 所以大家不要剧透哦 |
| [13:55] | I knew she didn’t read the book. | 我就知道她根本没看 |
| [13:56] | Give me that pop-tart back. | 把我的果酱馅饼还给我 |
| [14:00] | Eliza. | 伊莉莎 |
| [14:02] | Is this a “Jerry Maguire” moment? | 现在是”甜心先生”时刻吗 |
| [14:05] | I have been in this book club for three years, | 我参加这个读书俱乐部都三年了 |
| [14:07] | and she gets a “Jerry Maguire” moment on her first night? | 她第一次来就遇到了”甜心先生”吗 |
| [14:09] | Uh, Henry, what are you doing here? | 亨利 你来干什么 |
| [14:11] | Is it that she completes you? | 是不是有了她你才会完美 |
| [14:14] | No, it’s that I tagged myself | 不是 我上脸书时 |
| [14:15] | as an ex-girlfriend’s breast-feeding baby on Facebook. | 在前女友喂奶照上不小心圈了自己 |
| [14:18] | Did somebody die in here? | 这里是不是有死人啊 |
| [14:23] | Could we — can I… | 我们…我… |
| [14:24] | – Yeah. – There’s a… | -好 -这里有… |
| [14:28] | I don’t want to say, “I told you so.” | 我可不想说”我早跟你说了” |
| [14:30] | But you told me so. | 可你确实跟我说了 |
| [14:30] | There. That’s done. | 好 你满意了吧 |
| [14:31] | Now, please, untag me. | 现在 拜托你取消圈人 |
| [14:34] | Untagged. | 好了 |
| [14:36] | Thank you! | 谢谢 |
| [14:37] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [14:39] | Maybe she didn’t see it. | 她可能没看到对吧 |
| [14:40] | No. Yeah. She definitely saw it. | 不 她肯定看到了 |
| [14:43] | You get an alert. | 会有提醒 |
| [14:43] | An ale– an alert? | 提… 还有提醒 |
| [14:45] | Why would they do that? | 怎么还有这个功能 |
| [14:46] | To keep track of the pervs? | 为了让人知道有变态出没吗 |
| [14:47] | See, this is why I didn’t want to join Facebook. | 看到了吧 就是这样我才不愿意上脸书的 |
| [14:49] | Because you knew you’d act like a perv? | 因为你知道你会跟变态一样吗 |
| [14:51] | J.K. | 开玩笑 |
| [14:51] | Oh, just text her “J.K.” | 给她发条信息告诉她你开玩笑就行了 |
| [14:52] | No. No. | 不 不行 |
| [14:53] | More impersonal communication that can be easily misconstrued | 进行更多容易被人误解的非面对面沟通 |
| [14:56] | is not the answer. | 不是问题的答案 |
| [14:57] | That’s how I got into this mess. | 就是因为这个我才惹上这个麻烦的 |
| [14:59] | I’m going in. | 我要亲自出马 |
| [14:59] | Wait. Henry, I think these girls are on to me. | 等等 亨利 我觉得那群人盯上我了 |
| [15:02] | And truth told, I hated the book. | 而且说实话 我讨厌那本书 |
| [15:04] | And hanging out with these nonsexual, | 跟那群不性感 整天就知道干家务 |
| [15:05] | farm-to-table mini-grandmas | 提前步入老年的妇女在一起 |
| [15:06] | is not keeping my mind off Freddy, who keeps texting me. | 根本无法让我不去想弗雷迪 他一直给我发短信 |
| [15:08] | Eliza, my ex thinks I have a lactating fetish. | 伊莉莎 我前任现在以为我对喂奶女人有癖好 |
| [15:11] | Can we regroup on this? | 你的事我们能以后再说吗 |
| [15:12] | – Yeah. – Yeah. | -好 -先走了 |
| [15:16] | Hey. | 大家好 |
| [15:21] | Thanks for agreeing to see me, Olivia. | 谢谢你同意见我 奥利维亚 |
| [15:23] | Henry, what’s going on? You broke up with me. | 亨利 怎么了 自从你跟我分手 |
| [15:25] | Three years pass. | 都有三年了 |
| [15:26] | I haven’t talked to you since then, | 此后我们一直没说过话 |
| [15:27] | until you tag yourself as my breast-feeding baby on Facebook. | 结果你突然在我的喂奶照上圈了自己 |
| [15:31] | I know it’s weird. | 我知道这很诡异 |
| [15:32] | That’s why I wanted to come over here in person | 所以我才想亲自来一趟 |
| [15:34] | to explain that it was an accident. | 跟你解释一下那是意外 |
| [15:36] | I didn’t want you to think I was… | 我不想让你以为我是在… |
| [15:38] | What? | 什么 |
| [15:39] | That you were thinking about me? | 以为你在想我吗 |
| [15:41] | Don’t worry. | 没事的 |
| [15:43] | No, no. | 不 不是 |
| [15:43] | I was thinking about you, just not in that way. | 我是在想你 但不是男女之间的那种 |
| [15:46] | In what way, then? | 那是哪一种 |
| [15:49] | No, in an, um, “I wonder how she’s doing. | 就是那种 “她现在怎么样” |
| [15:52] | I hope she’s well,” way. | “希望她一切都好” |
| [15:53] | Oh, well, I’m great. Yeah. | 那我很好 真的 |
| [15:55] | The minute I realized you were never gonna care about me | 我意识到你根本不会像在意自己的工作一样 |
| [15:57] | as much as your job, I moved on. | 在意我的时候 我就重新开始了 |
| [16:00] | I met a really great guy. | 我遇到了个好人 |
| [16:03] | Great. | 那就好 |
| [16:04] | And you? | 你呢 |
| [16:05] | You look good. | 你看起来不错 |
| [16:07] | Last time I saw you, | 上次我见你的时候 |
| [16:08] | you were rocking those frosted tips. | 你染了个白头发 |
| [16:10] | I frosted one tip. | 就染白了一撮儿而已 |
| [16:11] | Because you loved Mark McGrath. | 因为你喜欢马克·麦克格拉斯 |
| [16:13] | I didn’t love Mark McGrath. I admired his resilience. | 我不是喜欢他 而是钦佩他的乐观应变 |
| [16:16] | Pop culture asked him to leave, and instead, | 流行文化界让他离开 可他不仅没走 |
| [16:17] | he rose like a phoenix | 而是如凤凰涅槃般 |
| [16:18] | from the ashes of Sugar Ray. | 从甜蜜射线[乐队]的灰烬中重生了 |
| [16:22] | I take it you’re still single. | 你现在应该还是单身吧 |
| [16:24] | Yes, yes. For the moment, I am. | 是 是啊 目前是的 |
| [16:27] | Um… better get cracking, though. | 不过最好得抓紧行动了 |
| [16:30] | According to Facebook, | 看看脸书上 |
| [16:30] | every single person I know is married with kids. | 我认识的人全部都结婚生子了 |
| [16:33] | When did that happen? | 这是什么时候的事啊 |
| [16:34] | Probably when you were at the office. | 可能是你在办公室埋头工作的时候吧 |
| [16:39] | After Bryn’s book whores kicked me out of their nerd club, | 布琳那群读书婊把我踢出她们的书呆子俱乐部后 |
| [16:41] | I had no choice but to eat my feelings, | 我就只能吃东西发泄了 |
| [16:44] | which were covered in… | 我要吃的有… |
| [16:45] | Mochi. And kiwi. | 糯米团 猕猴桃 |
| [16:46] | Just five gummy bears — red ones. | 要五个软糖小熊 红色的 |
| [16:49] | One green. | 一个绿色的 |
| [16:50] | And some butterfinger. | 再来点黄油酥 |
| [16:53] | Charmonique? | 夏莫妮卡 |
| [16:54] | Charmonique, it’s me. | 夏莫妮卡 是我啊 |
| [16:55] | Eliza, what’s with the getup? | 伊莉莎 你怎么穿成这样 |
| [16:57] | Oh, I was just trying to change my image | 我就是想改变一下形象 |
| [17:00] | and be seen as something other than a booty call. | 让别人看到我时不止联想到约炮 |
| [17:02] | Oh. | 这样啊 |
| [17:02] | Have a kid. | 那生个孩子吧 |
| [17:03] | No one will ever call your booty again. | 那样就不会再有人约你了 |
| [17:06] | Just kidding. | 开个玩笑而已 |
| [17:07] | But seriously, it is a deterrent. | 不过说真的 孩子确实能吓走别人 |
| [17:09] | Not to everyone. | 不是对所有人适用 |
| [17:10] | But to a lot of people. | 但对很多很多人都行 |
| [17:13] | I’m man poison. | 我就是男人的毒药 |
| [17:15] | Well, it’s cheat day. | 今天是作弊日哦 |
| [17:17] | Got to get to it. | 得抓紧去来点吃了 |
| [17:19] | Cheat day. Of course. | 作弊日 对啊 |
| [17:21] | You have to give in to your urges | 如果要坚持继续节食 |
| [17:22] | if you’re gonna stay on the diet. | 就得偶尔向自己的欲望屈服 |
| [17:24] | Can I get a half-cake batter, half-mint chocolate cheesecake? | 给我来个半蛋糕糊半薄荷巧克力芝士蛋糕 |
| [17:28] | If I have sex with Freddy right now, | 如果我现在去跟弗雷迪上床 |
| [17:30] | it’ll give me the strength to not have sex with Freddy | 那就可以给我力量 让我在接下来的一周 |
| [17:32] | for the rest of the week. | 都不跟弗雷迪上床 |
| [17:36] | Besides, if texting Freddy was the wrong thing to do, | 再说了 如果给弗雷迪发短信不对的话 |
| [17:38] | I’m sure the universe would give me a sign. | 大千宇宙肯定会给我征兆的 |
| [17:45] | It didn’t even hurt. | 根本不疼 |
| [17:47] | I’m fi– aah! | 我没… |
| [17:51] | The irony of falling into a manhole | 给弗雷迪发短信时掉进阴井 |
| [17:52] | while texting Freddy was not lost on me. | 这种讽刺的事情还真被我撞上了 |
| [17:56] | Eardrops. Fear drops. | 滴耳剂 不恐惧 |
| [18:00] | Career drops. | 事业一泻千里 |
| [18:03] | “For the baby you’ll never have | “没孩子” |
| [18:04] | because you spend too much time at work” drops. | “因为时间都用来工作了”滴耳剂 |
| [18:06] | Henry felt alone, but instead of reaching out to a friend, | 亨利很寂寞 但是他没有去找朋友 |
| [18:10] | he reached for his wireless mouse. | 而是摸起了自己的无线鼠标 |
| [18:23] | 下水道一游摔破手臂 我依然坚强 #真好 #强者生存 #吃一堑长一智 #停车牌也挡不住 | |
| [18:27] | 普罗维登斯圣约瑟夫 医疗中心 | |
| [18:35] | Eliza…what happened? Are you okay? | 伊莉莎 怎么回事 你没事吧 |
| [18:38] | Oh, it’s not a big deal. | 没什么 |
| [18:40] | I just got hit by a smart car, dislocated my tailbone, | 我被车撞了而已 尾椎骨错位了 |
| [18:43] | fell down a manhole, fractured my pelvis, | 然后掉进了阴井 把骨盆搞骨折了 |
| [18:44] | banged my head, got a concussion, saw the white light, | 头也撞得脑震荡了 看到了一道白光 |
| [18:46] | ran into Tupac and Biggie, who squashed it. | 还看见了两个已故死对头歌手在天堂撕逼大战 |
| [18:49] | I knew they would. | 当然了 |
| [18:52] | Boy, I’m glad you’re okay, ’cause… | 你没事真是太好了 |
| [18:55] | I was at work, as usual, | 我跟往常一样在工作 |
| [18:57] | and I saw that you were hurt. | 然后看到你受伤了 |
| [18:58] | And I just, um, I wanted to — | 我就…我想… |
| [19:00] | – Freddy? – Hey. | -弗雷迪 -嗨 |
| [19:02] | – What are you doing here? – Yeah, what? | -你怎么来了 -对啊 你来干什么 |
| [19:04] | Just came by in case they needed someone to identify the booty. | 我就来看看 以防医院需要有人来认领炮友 |
| [19:09] | That was legitimately funny. | 这个确实好笑啊 |
| [19:10] | Here. | 看 |
| [19:11] | I brought you a charger. Dead phone, right? | 我给你带充电器来了 你手机没电了对吧 |
| [19:13] | That is why you weren’t returning my texts. | 所以才不回我短信 |
| [19:16] | How about, “Eliza, are you okay? I was worried”? | 你应该说 “伊莉莎你没事吧 我很担心你” |
| [19:19] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [19:19] | Um, I’ve just been kind of busy with other interests. | 我是在忙别的兴趣 |
| [19:24] | Ow. It hurts to wink. | 眨眼都好疼啊 |
| [19:27] | Subtle. | 真委婉 |
| [19:28] | So, uh, are they gonna let you go home soon? | 那…你很快就可以出院吗 |
| [19:30] | I could, uh, you know, give you a lift. | 我可以送你一程 |
| [19:32] | Uh, sure. | 好啊 |
| [19:34] | I mean, I have an aircast on my foot | 虽然我脚上戴着气垫 |
| [19:35] | and I have to be woken up every hour, | 每隔一小时就得起来一次 |
| [19:37] | but as long as you don’t put all your weight | 但是只要你不把全身的重量 |
| [19:40] | on my fractured pelvis… | 都压在我骨折的骨盆上… |
| [19:42] | Oh. I-I didn’t mean to hook up. | 我不是指跟你上床 |
| [19:44] | I just thought I could drive you to your place, | 我只是想开车送你回家 |
| [19:46] | walk you to your door. | 送你到家门口 |
| [19:48] | Outside? | 去外面吗 |
| [19:49] | Yeah. | 当然啊 |
| [19:50] | Unless you know another way to get there. | 不去外面你还有别的方法回家吗 |
| [19:52] | No. No. | 不 没有 |
| [19:55] | Outside is great. | 去外面很棒 |
| [19:57] | I love that you want to walk outside with me. | 你愿意跟我一起在外面走走真是太好了 |
| [20:01] | Ow. Thumbs-up hurts, too. | 举个赞也好疼 |
| [20:04] | You don’t have to signal me — | 你不用给我发信号 |
| [20:05] | Observing all this in tandem with you. | 我跟你一起看着呢 |
| [20:11] | Okay. | 好 |
| [20:12] | Well, I will leave you to it. | 那我就不打扰了 |
| [20:15] | Rest up, Eliza. Feel better. | 好好休息 伊莉莎 早日康复 |
| [20:16] | Oh, hey, uh, Henry. | 对了 亨利 |
| [20:18] | You know you tagged yourself as the bedpan | 你知道你在我发的住院照片上 |
| [20:20] | in my hospital pic, right? | 把自己圈成了便盆 对吧 |
| [20:25] | Damn it. I hate Facebook. | 该死 真讨厌脸书 |
| [20:29] | I tried to message you on Facebook. | 我在脸书上给你发信息了 |
| [20:30] | Did you take down your account? | 你是不是注销账户了 |
| [20:32] | – That’s exactly what I did. – Oh, man. Why? | -你猜对了 -天 为什么 |
| [20:35] | Well, I’m an old-fashioned guy. | 我是个守旧的人 |
| [20:37] | I’ve decided that from now on, if I want to check up on people, | 所以我决定从现在起 要是想关心谁的话 |
| [20:39] | I’m gonna do it the old-fashioned way. | 我要用老方法 |
| [20:41] | Well, thanks for checking up on me today. | 好吧 谢谢你今天来看我 |
| [20:44] | You’re most welcome, Eliza. | 不用客气 伊莉莎 |
| [20:47] | Now get some sleep. | 快睡觉吧 |
| [20:50] | And, Eliza. | 对了 伊莉莎 |
| [20:50] | Yeah? | 怎么了 |
| [20:51] | I’ll call you in an hour to wake you up, okay? | 我一小时后打电话叫醒你 好吗 |