| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Old habits die hard. | 旧习难改 |
| [00:04] | Don’t tweet it, eat it. | 好好吃东西 别发推特 |
| [00:12] | It is not an “outfit of the day.” | 这不是什么”今日着装” |
| [00:14] | It’s just an outfit. | 就是一套衣服而已 |
| [00:15] | My followers want to know what I’m wearing. | 我的粉丝想知道我今天穿啥样 |
| [00:17] | Perhaps they can redirect their attention to something more important | 也许他们可以去关注一些更重要的事情 |
| [00:20] | Like fracking | 比如钻井采油 |
| [00:21] | or Ronan Farrow. | 或者罗南·法罗[活动家 记者] |
| [00:23] | I’m pretty sure my followers hate both of those things. | 我确定我的粉丝对二者都不喜欢 |
| [00:25] | Henry was trying to help me to become a better person. | 亨利想帮助我变成更好的人 |
| [00:28] | And even though I appreciated his help… | 虽然我很感谢他帮我 |
| [00:30] | “For your prompt and professional service | 对于您及时而专业的服务 |
| [00:33] | “I offer my sincere thanks. | 我表示衷心感谢 |
| [00:35] | Kind regards. Eliza Dooley.” | 此致 敬礼 伊莉莎·杜丽 |
| [00:37] | …I also kind of wanted him die. | 但我也有点想让他去死 |
| [00:39] | By the time the weekend rolled around, | 终于快熬到周末 |
| [00:41] | I just wanted to order a latte and not say “Thanks.” | 我只想点一杯拿铁 不用说谢谢 |
| [00:44] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [00:49] | Any big plans this weekend? | 周末有什么大计划吗 |
| [00:50] | Yeah, I’m gonna try to bump into some celebrities, | 我准备去偶遇几个名人 |
| [00:52] | maybe hit a gifting suite, kick it with Karrueche, | 去一趟礼品屋 从卡露琪[克里斯布朗女友]开始 |
| [00:54] | Yacht-hop, Pitbull, binge-drink till I’m white-girl wasted. | 去泡吧 见见Pitbull 喝到酩酊大醉 |
| [00:56] | – That sounds… – Pop by this pop-up party, get my grind on, | -听起来… -去派对大展身手 |
| [00:58] | swing by in-n-out, kiss a hamburger | 去趟汉堡店 亲一下汉堡 |
| [00:59] | full makeup, no filter, David Guetta. | 大浓妆不加滤镜 还有大卫·库塔[歌手] |
| [01:01] | W-what? W-why? | 啥 为什么 |
| [01:02] | Why would you do any of those things? | 你为什么要做这些事 |
| [01:03] | My friend Brit is only 17 followhores away | 我的朋友布里特只差十七个粉婊砸 |
| [01:05] | from catching up to me. | 就赶上我了 |
| [01:06] | “Followhores.” | 粉婊砸 |
| [01:07] | So I need to cop a like spike, score a regram, | 所以我必须要绝地反击 |
| [01:09] | and basically, you know, | 而且 |
| [01:10] | remind Brit that she’s a worthless skank. | 提醒布里特 她是个没用的渣渣 |
| [01:13] | I can say that. She’s my best friend. | 这么说没问题的 她是我死党 |
| [01:14] | – Morning. – Morning. | -早 -早 |
| [01:16] | – Morning. – Morning. | -早 -早 |
| [01:16] | Oh, morning. | 早啊 |
| [01:20] | Not to diminish the importance of smiting your friends, | 并不是要抹杀你重创好友的重要性 |
| [01:22] | but could I also convince you to try something more meaningful, | 但我能不能劝你试着做点更有意义的事情 |
| [01:25] | something more constructive, | 更有建设性的事 |
| [01:27] | like, dare I say, to help others? | 斗胆说一下 比如帮助他人 |
| [01:28] | Help…others? | 帮助他人 |
| [01:31] | – B-but it’s the weekend. – And? | -可明明是周末呀 -所以呢 |
| [01:33] | Weekends are supposed to be productive. | 周末就是生产力 |
| [01:35] | Haven’t you ever heard the song “Working for the weekend”? | 难道你没听过那首歌吗 《为周末工作》 |
| [01:37] | – No. – No? | -没有 -没有吗 |
| [01:39] | It’s an extremely catchy pop anthem about people | 是一首朗朗上口的流行歌 |
| [01:41] | who opt to spend the weekend working. | 唱的是那些选择在周末工作的人 |
| [01:44] | ♪ Everybody’s working for the weekend ♪ | ♪ 大家都在为周末工作 ♪ |
| [01:50] | ♪ Everybody needs a second chance ♪ | ♪ 人人都需要第二次机会 ♪ |
| [01:55] | ♪ Everybody’s working for the weekend ♪ | ♪ 大家都在为周末工作 ♪ |
| [02:00] | That song’s not about working for the weekend. | 这个才不是讲周末工作的 |
| [02:03] | Beg your pardon? | 你说什么 |
| [02:04] | I love that song, but it’s not about working for the weekend. | 我超爱这首歌 不过它并不是说周末工作 |
| [02:07] | It’s about working for the weekend. | 而是”为”周末工作 |
| [02:09] | That’s what I said. | 我说的就是这个啊 |
| [02:10] | No, it’s about working in anticipation of the weekend. | 不 是为了期待周末而工作 |
| [02:13] | Oh, I see. | 我明白了 |
| [02:14] | So the sole purpose of working is to enjoy the weekend. | 所以工作的唯一目的就是享受周末 |
| [02:17] | – That’s exactly right. – Yes! Thank you! | -没错 -是的 谢谢 |
| [02:19] | Well, that was certainly not my interpretation. | 好吧 显然我不是这么理解的 |
| [02:21] | As you can imagine, | 如你们所想 |
| [02:21] | I will now be removing that jam from my playlist. | 我要把那首歌从我的播放列表里移除 |
| [02:23] | Okay, how about this? | 不如这样 |
| [02:25] | I promise to work for the weekend if you promise not to. | 如果你保证周末不工作 我就保证周末工作 |
| [02:29] | And just to clarify, ’cause there has been some confusion — | 说明确些 因为会有些歧义 |
| [02:31] | I will accept Henry’s assignment and do something to help others | 我会接受亨利布置的任务 帮助他人 |
| [02:34] | If, in return, | 前提是 |
| [02:34] | he will spend his weekend doing anything but working. | 他周末绝对不工作 |
| [02:37] | He needs to let loose and have some fun. | 他需要放松放松 找点乐子 |
| [02:39] | Oh, I intend to. | 我也打算找乐子 |
| [02:40] | We’re talking weekends, right? Mine’s gonna be huge. | 在聊周末的事对吧 我的周末可有大事件 |
| [02:44] | Got my high-school reunion tomorrow night! | 明晚是高中同学聚会 |
| [02:47] | And the one that got away | 当年负我的那个他 |
| [02:48] | will be in attendance — Mitchell McMoney. | 米切尔·麦克麦尼 也会参加哦 |
| [02:52] | Now, I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, | 我全心全意地相信 |
| [02:54] | that the only reason why I am still single is because | 我至今还单身的唯一原因 |
| [02:57] | I’m destined to be Mrs. McMoney. | 便是命中注定我要成为麦克麦尼夫人 |
| [03:02] | The year was 1994. | 那是1994年 |
| [03:05] | Yeah, I got a meeting that starts… | 我待会还有个会… |
| [03:08] | Just as we were about to exit the friend zone and get our grind on, | 就在我们友达以上 亲亲欲满的时候 |
| [03:12] | someone paged me. | 有人呼我 |
| [03:13] | The 411 was a 911, | 原来是有急事找我 |
| [03:15] | meaning I had to outie 5000. | 也就是说 我不得不离开 |
| [03:18] | The next thing you know, | 接下来 |
| [03:20] | he was on tour making oversized blazers for Jodeci, | 他跟着乐队巡演 给他们做大号夹克 |
| [03:23] | – and I was at Yale. – You went to Yale? | -而我上了耶鲁 -你居然是耶鲁毕业的 |
| [03:25] | This weekend, I’m finally gonna get my chance | 这个周末我终于有机会 |
| [03:27] | to rekindle things. | 跟他重燃爱火 |
| [03:28] | Charmonique? | 夏莫妮卡 |
| [03:29] | I always look good. | 我一向都美美哒 |
| [03:30] | I could come over tomorrow night and help you get ready, | 明晚我可以去你家帮你准备 |
| [03:32] | if you think that would be selfless and thoughtful of me. | 如果你觉得我这么做很无私周到的话 |
| [03:34] | You know what? That would be selfless and thoughtful of you. | 说实话 你这样的确非常无私周到 |
| [03:38] | – Thanks! – Yeah! | -谢谢 -客气 |
| [03:40] | Your turn. | 该你了 |
| [04:01] | Hey, Henry. | 亨利 |
| [04:02] | Friday night, huh? | 周五晚上了呀 |
| [04:04] | That’s correct. | 没错 |
| [04:05] | About to get turnt! | 要去嗨一嗨了 |
| [04:06] | Myself, as well. | 我也是 |
| [04:08] | Really? What have you got planned? | 真的吗 你有什么打算 |
| [04:10] | Well, I was planning on going home | 我打算回家 |
| [04:11] | to not think about work for a little while. | 不去想工作 |
| [04:13] | And I thought I’d make and enjoy a big salad. | 也许会做一大盘沙拉享用一下 |
| [04:17] | Might throw in some chicken I grilled two nights ago. | 再来点前天晚上烤的鸡 |
| [04:19] | Henry. | 亨利 |
| [04:20] | Maybe a handful of tortilla strips | 加一把玉米粉薄饼 |
| [04:22] | for added crunch. | 嘎嘣儿脆 |
| [04:23] | – Added crunch. – You heard. | -嘎嘣儿脆 -正是 |
| [04:26] | Henry, that’s the most depressing thing i’ve ever heard. | 亨利 这是我听过最沮丧的事了 |
| [04:29] | Well, you must be blissfully unaware of the sound | 那你一定是够幸运 |
| [04:30] | a mother whale makes when mourning the loss of her pup. | 没听过鲸鱼妈妈的丧子之痛 |
| [04:34] | She basically barks across the whole ocean. | 那嘶吼简直能传遍整个海洋 |
| [04:36] | Well, I hope Saperstein doesn’t bark across the ocean | 我们周一要取消儿童维生素的生产线 |
| [04:38] | when we kill the children’s vitamin line on Monday. | 希望萨珀斯坦听到后不要哀嚎遍野 |
| [04:40] | What? | 什么 |
| [04:41] | Has that been confirmed? | 已经确定了么 |
| [04:42] | Oh, it’s confirmed. It’s going bye-bye. | 确定了 要跟我们拜拜了 |
| [04:44] | Oh, come on, Henry. | 得了吧 亨利 |
| [04:45] | That chewable hasn’t been profitable for years now. | 那种咀嚼片好几年都没有盈利了 |
| [04:47] | We’re actually losing money producing it. | 我们生产那些就是在赔钱啊 |
| [04:49] | That chewable put our company on the map! | 就是这个咀嚼片当年让我们公司一战成名 |
| [04:51] | The year was several years ago. | 那是很多年前 |
| [04:54] | The assignment was to make kids excited about minerals. | 我们的任务是让孩子爱上矿物质 |
| [04:57] | Until then, our kids chewable | 在那之前 我们的儿童咀嚼片 |
| [04:59] | had been a blue oval that tasted like dirt. | 都是吃起来像土一样的蓝色椭圆片 |
| [05:01] | But I supposed children would prefer | 但我认为 孩子们会喜欢 |
| [05:03] | a vibrant orange elephant that tasted like tangerine. | 橘子味有活力的橙色小象 |
| [05:06] | And, damn it, they did! | 而且他们的确喜欢 |
| [05:07] | Our chewable flew off the shelves, | 我们的咀嚼片销量火爆 |
| [05:09] | and Kinderkare Pharmaceuticals | 金德凯制药 |
| [05:10] | won the prestigious brandmar award. | 拿下了业界闻名的金商标奖 |
| [05:12] | That little orange elephant is a rock star, | 橙色小象是我们的大明星 |
| [05:15] | and my first big rebrand. | 也是我品牌改造的第一壮举 |
| [05:17] | It’s a relic, and it can’t keep up | 那都是老古董了 |
| [05:18] | with its younger, hipper, gummier counterparts. | 敌不过那些好看好吃又好嚼的对手 |
| [05:21] | Look, I know it sucks, | 我知道这样不好受 |
| [05:22] | but sometimes you got to cut down the old trees | 但有时 你得砍掉老树 |
| [05:24] | to let the new ones grow. | 新枝才能发芽 |
| [05:25] | Am I right, Father Time? | 我说得对不对呀 时光老人 |
| [05:26] | Who’s Father Time? I’m Father Time? | 时光老人是谁 我吗 |
| [05:29] | I’m not the one planning my weekend around a bowl of roughage. | 周末打算吃粗粮的又不是我 |
| [05:32] | – I said with grilled chicken! – Oh, wow. | -我说了会加烤鸡的 -是嘛 |
| [05:33] | Sir. | 先生 |
| [05:36] | Grilled chicken could be fun. | 烤鸡挺好玩的 |
| [05:38] | I thought so. | 我也这么认为 |
| [05:48] | Our chewable’s history, isn’t it? | 我们的咀嚼片已经是过去时了吗 |
| [05:51] | I don’t know — | 我不知道 |
| [05:51] | Don’t flimflam me, son. Give it to me straight. | 别骗我 小子 直说吧 |
| [05:55] | Sir, I’m gonna think of something. | 头儿 我会想办法的 |
| [05:56] | – I’m gonna work through the weekend – There’s no point. | -我周末加班努力… -没必要了 |
| [05:59] | It’s already gone. | 大势已去 |
| [06:00] | Its chalky soul left the building hours ago. | 它的灵魂几小时前就已经粉末状散去 |
| [06:02] | I can feel it. | 我能感觉到 |
| [06:03] | And if I know that fruity rascal like I think I do, | 如果我真如我想的那样了解我们的果味小调皮 |
| [06:07] | it would want us to carry on. | 它也会让我们继续下去的 |
| [06:10] | Have a great weekend. | 周末愉快 |
| [06:14] | So…carry on and have a…great weekend. | 继续下去 周末愉快 |
| [06:22] | The next night, I showed up at Charmonique’s place. | 第二天晚上 我来到夏莫妮卡家 |
| [06:25] | I would do my good deed, then get the hell out of dodge. | 准备做完善事后 就一闪了之 |
| [06:33] | No, thank you. | 不需要 谢谢 |
| [06:35] | Move. | 闪开 |
| [06:36] | Mom! | 妈 |
| [06:38] | Now, he remembers me with the Mary J. Blige, | 他记忆中的我 是玛丽·布莱姬[歌手]短发发型 |
| [06:41] | but a part of me wants to flip the script | 但我有点想翻过这篇儿 |
| [06:43] | and hit him with some Erykah Badu. | 让他见识见识埃里卡·巴杜[歌手]式的爆炸头 |
| [06:45] | – Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I understand that instinct. – Okay. | -我理解你 -好的 |
| [06:48] | But when you completely reinvent your look, | 但如果你要完全改变造型 |
| [06:50] | you run the risk of people not knowing who the hell you are… | 就会有别人认不出你的风险 |
| [06:52] | …i.e. Renee Zellweger, who still looks good… | 比如蕾妮·齐薇格[演员] 虽然她现在也很好看 |
| [06:55] | But doesn’t look a damn thing like Miss Renee Zellweger. | 但跟之前的她一点都不像 |
| [07:00] | I see what you mean. | 我懂你的意思了 |
| [07:01] | Mm. Exactly. | 没错 |
| [07:01] | Whoo! Okay. So, let’s try the T-Boz. | 好 我们来试试这个T-Boz发型 |
| [07:04] | Okay. Thank you. | 好吧 谢谢 |
| [07:08] | Oh, I love it. | 爱死了 |
| [07:20] | Oh, no. | 不要啊 |
| [07:22] | Oh, hell, no. | 千万别 |
| [07:23] | Please, no, no. This can’t be happening. | 不要 不能这样 |
| [07:25] | – What’s wrong? – She’s sick. | -怎么了 -她生病了 |
| [07:27] | – My sitter’s sick! – She’s sick?! | -保姆生病了 -生病了 |
| [07:29] | Yeah, she says she had bad Mexican food at the mall | 对 她说她在商场吃墨西哥菜吃坏了 |
| [07:31] | and she can’t stop vomiting. | 止不住地吐 |
| [07:32] | Did you tell her she can vomit here? | 你告诉她可以到这来吐了吗 |
| [07:36] | “You…can… vomit…here.” | 你 可以 到这来 吐 |
| [07:42] | What did she say? | 她怎么说 |
| [07:43] | She says she isn’t coming. | 她说她不来了 |
| [07:45] | My psychic said an unknown force would keep me from true love. | 我的灵媒说会有一股未知力量阻挡我寻找真爱 |
| [07:49] | But I didn’t think it was gonna be | 但我万万没想到 |
| [07:50] | a $5 burrito from the food court. | 居然是美食街里五块钱的墨西哥卷饼 |
| [07:54] | I’m really sorry. | 真的很遗憾 |
| [07:55] | And no one’s gonna be able to come on such short notice. | 时间这么紧 也不会有人来替她 |
| [07:58] | Probably not, no. | 也许是这样的 |
| [08:00] | So that’s it. | 就这样了 |
| [08:01] | I’m gonna miss my reunion | 我会错过同学聚会 |
| [08:03] | and my chance to find true love. | 也错过寻找真爱的机会 |
| [08:06] | It sure sounds that way. | 听起来的确如此 |
| [08:08] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [08:11] | I can’t think of one single solution | 世界这么大 |
| [08:14] | in this whole, entire universe | 我却想不出一个办法 |
| [08:17] | that would allow me to go to my event tonight. | 让我今晚去参加聚会 |
| [08:21] | Can you? | 你呢 |
| [08:32] | No. | 想不出 |
| [08:34] | Now, he only eats nuggets, so just nuggets for dinner, | 他只吃鸡块 所以晚饭是鸡块 |
| [08:37] | maybe one or two nuggets before bed, | 睡前可以来一两块 |
| [08:39] | and, if I’m not home by morning, | 如果我早上没回来 |
| [08:41] | a bowl of nuggets with some O.J. | 给他来一碗 加点橙汁 |
| [08:42] | Um, okay, here is my number if you need to reach me. | 需要联系我的话 这是我的号码 |
| [08:47] | Oh, I would like to request that | 对了 我需要请你 |
| [08:49] | you keep the door to my wig colosseum closed | 一定要把我”假发竞技场”的门关好 |
| [08:51] | because, if I did not make it clear, | 我再强调一遍 |
| [08:53] | This whole situation is on climate control | 这里面有温度调节系统 |
| [08:56] | and has an estimated value of 60 grand. | 那些假发估值有六万美元 |
| [08:58] | $60,000? | 六万美元 |
| [08:59] | Okay, Kevin, I’m leaving. | 好了 凯文 我走了 |
| [09:01] | Get it. | 搞定他 |
| [09:02] | I will, baby. | 会的 宝贝 |
| [09:05] | I’m gonna call you soon, okay? | 一会儿打给你 好吗 |
| [09:06] | Oh, and, Eliza, thank you for this. | 伊莉莎 谢谢你帮我 |
| [09:09] | I owe you one. | 我欠你一个人情 |
| [09:12] | Get it! | 搞定他 |
| [09:13] | I’m not gonna let you die. | 我不会让你死去的 |
| [09:15] | I can’t. | 不行 |
| [09:19] | – Hello? – Thanks a lot, Henry. | -喂 -谢谢你啊 亨利 |
| [09:21] | That one nice thing you made me do | 你逼我做的一件好事 |
| [09:22] | turned into another nice thing. | 又衍生出了另一件事 |
| [09:23] | – That’s wonderful. – No, it’s not wonderful! | -很好啊 -一点都不好 |
| [09:26] | Now I’m actually working for the weekend, | 我现在真的是周末在工作了 |
| [09:27] | which you’d better not be, because that was our deal. | 而你最好别是在工作 我们说好的 |
| [09:29] | What do you think — I’m over here hanging out | 你以为我在这 |
| [09:30] | with a bottle of vitamins? No. | 跟一瓶维生素片聊天吗 才不是 |
| [09:32] | I promise you — I am full of salad, | 我向你保证 我吃饱了沙拉 |
| [09:36] | and I’m about to get… turnt. | 准备去 嗨一嗨 |
| [09:39] | Well, that makes one of us. | 我可是嗨不成了 |
| [09:45] | Want to dress up like power rangers? | 想不想扮演恐龙战队 |
| [09:47] | No. | 不想 |
| [09:48] | What’s wrong? You don’t like kids? | 怎么了 你不喜欢小孩吗 |
| [09:51] | – They’re okay. – Then what? | -还好 -那是因为什么 |
| [09:53] | You wouldn’t understand. | 说了你也不懂 |
| [09:55] | Try me. | 试试看 |
| [09:56] | It’s just my friend Brit and I have | 我跟我的朋友布里特 |
| [09:58] | this highly competitive relationship. | 相互竞争比较激烈 |
| [10:00] | She a virgo? | 她是处女座的吗 |
| [10:03] | Continue. | 你继续 |
| [10:04] | We’re constantly battling over who’s more famous, | 我们一直在比谁更红 |
| [10:07] | and, duh, it’s always me. | 这还用比吗 当然是我更红了 |
| [10:08] | But last weekend, brit almost broke instagram | 但上周末 布里特几乎红遍Ins |
| [10:11] | when she got iced-out grills, | 她换了钻石牙套 |
| [10:13] | made out with Courtney Love, | 跟寇特妮·洛芙[演员]亲热 |
| [10:14] | and stepped up her corn nut game by posting those picante limons. | 吃的玉米片也升级成最流行的香辣柠檬味 |
| [10:17] | Hold up. When did corn nuts drop picante limons? | 等等 玉米片啥时候有过香辣柠檬味 |
| [10:21] | I was gonna go so hard tonight to defend my crown, | 本来我今晚准备努力保住王冠 |
| [10:24] | but now I’m stuck here with you. | 结果却得跟你待在这 |
| [10:26] | Are you? | 是吗 |
| [10:27] | I’m pretty sure I am, yeah. | 我非常确定 是的 |
| [10:29] | The internet is all about illusions, girl. | 在网络世界里 就是装嘛 妹子 |
| [10:32] | You know that. | 你知道吧 |
| [10:34] | I do know that. | 我确实知道 |
| [10:36] | Charmonique, you look amazing! | 夏莫妮卡 气色不错啊 |
| [10:38] | Thanks, Jeanette. You, too. | 谢了 珍妮特 你也是 |
| [10:40] | Did you hear about Joe Miner? | 你听说乔·迈纳的事了吗 |
| [10:41] | His wife left him, and he got hair plugs. | 他老婆跑了 他还植发了 |
| [10:44] | Okay. That’s nice. Listen. | 我知道 多棒啊 听我说 |
| [10:45] | Hey. Hey. Bring it down. | 我说你们 消停消停行吗 |
| [10:47] | Now, I don’t mean no disrespect, | 我无意冒犯 |
| [10:49] | but I did not come here to talk smack with you thirsty ratchets. | 但我不是来这里跟你们这群饥渴的小婊砸八卦的 |
| [10:52] | I came here for one reason and one reason only. | 我来这里的原因只有一个 |
| [10:55] | – Charmonique? – Mitchell. | -夏莫妮卡 -米切尔 |
| [10:59] | Hi, Mitchell. | 你好 米切尔 |
| [11:00] | Jeanette, Chantaal, please break the hell out. | 珍妮特 夏特尔 拜托你们俩麻溜滚粗 |
| [11:05] | I was afraid I’d never see you again. | 我还担心永远见不到你了 |
| [11:07] | I would never let that happen. You have to know that | 我绝不会让这种事发生的 你要知道 |
| [11:10] | I’ve waited a long time for this opportunity, Charmonique. | 我等这一刻等了很久了 夏莫妮卡 |
| [11:12] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [11:15] | When I heard that you were a mother, | 当我听说你当了妈妈 |
| [11:17] | well, there were no words to describe the way I felt. | 我的感觉根本无法用言语来表达 |
| [11:21] | But when I found out you weren’t married | 但是当我又发现你没有结婚 |
| [11:22] | or even with the father… | 甚至孩子身边没有父亲时… |
| [11:23] | Mitchell, no, no. Wait. | 米切尔 不要说 等等 |
| [11:25] | Let’s not do this here. | 我们不要在这里谈这个 |
| [11:27] | Let’s get rid of our coats and find a quiet place to talk. | 我们脱掉衣服 找个安静的地方好好聊聊 |
| [11:30] | – Wonderful. That’s a great idea. – Okay. | -好 好主意 -好 |
| [11:37] | Looks like you, sir boysenberry, | 博伊森莓先生 看来你 |
| [11:38] | shall reign until the first of the month. | 要统治到月初了 |
| [11:41] | Whereas your days, lord key lime of custard, are numbered. | 而你 青柠奶油大人 时日无多了 |
| [11:45] | You, there! | 还有你 |
| [11:46] | You sneaky greek bastard. | 你个卑鄙的小混蛋 |
| [11:49] | Expired. | 过期了 |
| [11:50] | You’ll hang for your crime! | 敢犯如此大罪 判你绞刑 |
| [11:55] | I have to get out of the house. | 不能再宅下去了呀 |
| [12:18] | Popo shut us down? | 警察来抓我们了吗[Ke$ha歌词] |
| [12:23] | Eliza, you cannot have a child at — | 伊莉莎 你不能带小孩子… |
| [12:26] | This isn’t a wild party. | 这里没有疯狂派对 |
| [12:27] | Nope! But it ‘grammed like one, right? | 是啊 但是看上去很像有对吧 |
| [12:30] | It really did. You two really appeared to be having a blast. | 真的很像 你们俩好像在疯玩一样 |
| [12:33] | Oh, we were… until you got here. | 确实是啊 直到你来了 |
| [12:36] | Okay, deejay pre-k. | 好吧 DJ小朋友 |
| [12:39] | But it’s almost midnight, | 但现在都快午夜了 |
| [12:40] | and I’m guessing it’s way past your bedtime. | 你早就该上床睡觉了吧 |
| [12:42] | This one goes out to my man. | 这首歌送给这哥们儿 |
| [12:47] | I get it. | 我明白 |
| [12:47] | You think ’cause I’m Korean I automatically like K-pop. | 你以为我是韩国人就肯定喜欢韩国流行乐对吧 |
| [13:11] | I certainly don’t mean to lecture you. | 我不是有意对你说教 |
| [13:12] | But when you engage in immoral sex, | 但是如果你跟人发生不道德的性行为 |
| [13:15] | it’s not just an oops upside your head. | 这不仅会迷失你的思想 |
| [13:17] | It’s also an oops upside the head of | 更会迷失我们的造物主 |
| [13:19] | our lord and creator, Christ Almighty. | 全能基督的思想 |
| [13:21] | Oh, Mitchell, come on. | 米切尔 拜托 |
| [13:23] | You were on tour with Jodeci. | 你可跟Jodeci乐队一起巡演过 |
| [13:25] | Which is why I had to repent — | 所以我才要忏悔 |
| [13:27] | specifically for providing the leatherwear | 尤其是我在他们的《恶作剧》视频中 |
| [13:29] | in their “Freek’n you” video. | 提供了他们穿的皮草 |
| [13:30] | When I think about all the fornication I fostered… | 我一想到自己以前助长了那么多次通奸… |
| [13:32] | I can’t believe I flat-ironed my MJB for this. | 真不敢相信我为了这个还把这假发给烫直了 |
| [13:36] | Excuse me, Mitchell. I have to check in on my son. | 不好意思 米切尔 我得去看看我儿子了 |
| [13:38] | While you’re at it, | 你去的时候 |
| [13:39] | could you also check in on the son of God? | 能顺便看看上帝之子吗 |
| [13:42] | He’s been waiting to hear from you. | 他一直在等你的消息呢 |
| [13:45] | I’ve never put a child to bed before. | 我从没哄孩子睡过觉 |
| [13:47] | I’m sure it’ll be fine. | 你一定可以的 |
| [13:51] | Good night, Kevin. | 晚安 凯文 |
| [13:53] | And to you. | 你也是 |
| [13:55] | I’m going to turn the light off now. | 我现在要关灯了 |
| [13:57] | I understand. | 我懂 |
| [13:59] | You do what you got to do. | 你该干什么就干什么吧 |
| [14:08] | What was that? | 什么声音 |
| [14:09] | I’m not sure. | 我也不知道 |
| [14:11] | Oh, my God, it sounded like Eddie Murphy. | 天 好像艾迪·墨菲[演员]啊 |
| [14:12] | Is that him? I-is he choking? | 是他吗 他要被噎死了吗 |
| [14:16] | I want my mom! | 我要我妈妈 |
| [14:17] | He wants his mom! What are we gonna do?! | 他要找妈妈 该怎么办啊 |
| [14:18] | – His mom’s not here! – E-e-eliza! | -他妈妈不在这里 -伊莉莎 |
| [14:20] | We got to remain calm and be of comfort to Kevin. | 我们得淡定 给凯文提供安慰 |
| [14:22] | The lights went out, and he’s like a totally different person. | 一关灯他就好像变了个人 |
| [14:24] | Bedtime can be really stressful for kids. | 睡觉对孩子来说是很有压力的 |
| [14:26] | Let’s try and soothe him, shall we? Yeah. | 我们去安慰他 好吗 来 |
| [14:30] | Kevin, is there something soothing | 凯文 睡觉前 |
| [14:33] | that your mother does for you at bedtime? | 你妈妈会做什么来安慰你吗 |
| [14:36] | She fills my humidifier… | 她会给加湿器添水… |
| [14:38] | Humidif– … | 加湿… |
| [14:39] | puts on my air purifier, | 打开空气净化器 |
| [14:41] | turns off my closet light… | 把衣柜里的灯都关掉… |
| [14:42] | – You get the closet! – Okay. | -你负责关衣柜里的灯 -好 |
| [14:43] | …turns on my bathroom light, | 把厕所的灯帮我打开 |
| [14:44] | – finds my stuffed lion… – Here! | -找到我的毛绒狮子 -在这里 |
| [14:46] | Okay, I got it! I got it! | 好 我找到了 找到了 |
| [14:47] | – …gives him to me… – Rawr! | -把狮子给我 -嗷呜 |
| [14:49] | …takes away one pillow, adds one extra blanket… | 拿走一个枕头 给我加条毯子… |
| [14:53] | – Get the blanket! – I got the blanket! | -快去拿毯子 -我拿到毯子了 |
| [14:54] | – …sprays three pumps of lavender mist… – Lavender! | -喷三下薰衣草喷雾 -薰衣草 |
| [14:59] | – Yeah. – …cracks the window and closes the door. | -好了 -关好窗户 再闭上门 |
| [15:02] | You get the door. | 你去关门 |
| [15:04] | All right. | 好了 |
| [15:07] | Then she sings “Ease on down the road” from “The Wiz.” | 然后她会给我唱《绿野仙踪》里的《轻松前行》 |
| [15:11] | I never saw “The Wiz”! | 我没看过《绿野仙踪》啊 |
| [15:16] | There, there. | 好了 好了 |
| [15:18] | Don’t… make that noise. | 不要 再发出那种声音了 |
| [15:20] | As I watched Henry pat Kevin’s afro, | 我看到亨利拍凯文的蓬蓬头时 |
| [15:22] | I realized I wasn’t going clubbing tonight. | 就意识到今晚去不成俱乐部玩了 |
| [15:29] | Come on, Kevin. | 别哭了 凯文 |
| [15:31] | No super-cool deejays cry for their mommies! | 那么炫酷的DJ怎么还哭着找妈妈呢 |
| [15:38] | Hello. | 喂 |
| [15:39] | Eliza, is everything okay? | 伊莉莎 一切都好吧 |
| [15:41] | – Evrything’s great. – Uh-oh, I hear Eddie Murphy. | -很好啊 -我听到艾迪·墨菲的声音了 |
| [15:43] | Kevin is just a little anxious. Maybe about going to bed. | 凯文有点小焦虑 可能是因为要睡觉了吧 |
| [15:46] | Well, did you give him his bedtime nuggets? | 你给他睡前吃鸡块了吗 |
| [15:48] | – His what? – His bedtime nuggets. | -什么 -睡前的鸡块啊 |
| [15:49] | I told you — he needs two or three of those | 我说过了 他睡前要吃两三块鸡块 |
| [15:51] | before he can go to sleep. | 才能好好睡觉 |
| [15:52] | His bedtime nuggets, of course. I completely forgot. | 他的睡前鸡块 对啊 我给忘了 |
| [15:54] | Hey, Kevin, would you like some bedtime nuggets? | 凯文 你想来点睡前鸡块吗 |
| [15:58] | You know what? I would. | 好啊 |
| [16:01] | Thanks, Charmonique. | 谢谢 夏莫妮卡 |
| [16:02] | Somehow, you called at the exact right time | 你打来的正是时候 |
| [16:05] | and knew exactly what to do. | 你也知道该怎么做 |
| [16:06] | You’re the best mom ever. | 你真是史上最棒老妈 |
| [16:09] | You know what? I am. Hmm. | 当然 这还用你说 |
| [16:12] | – Everything good? – Everything’s great. | -一切都好吗 -很好啊 |
| [16:15] | You know, I don’t know if | 我不知道 |
| [16:16] | you were trying to make me feel bad about my life choices. | 你是不是想让我后悔自己的人生选择 |
| [16:20] | But I’m sorry, Father McMoney — I don’t. | 但是很抱歉 麦克麦尼神父 我不后悔 |
| [16:22] | And I’m glad that you found higher love. | 我也很高兴你找到了更高境界的爱 |
| [16:28] | But I have self-love, and that’s real love. | 但是我有自爱 那才是真正的爱 |
| [16:33] | So now if you’ll excuse me, | 我先失陪了 |
| [16:35] | they’re playing my jam. | 到我喜欢的歌了 |
| [16:38] | Sometimes, when the grind window closes, | 有时烦恼的窗户关上时 |
| [16:41] | the door to enlightenment opens. | 觉悟的大门便打开了 |
| [16:55] | Eliza? | 伊莉莎 |
| [16:57] | Yes, Kevin? | 怎么了 凯文 |
| [16:58] | Did we get a like spike? | 你反击成功了吗 |
| [17:00] | We sure did, buddy. We sure did. | 当然了 亲爱的 当然 |
| [17:05] | You did? | 真的吗 |
| [17:06] | Absolutely not. | 当然是假的 |
| [17:08] | I actually lost followers | 传上凯文的照片后 |
| [17:09] | by posting those pics of Kevin. | 其实我的粉丝减少了 |
| [17:10] | Brit crushed me. | 布里特把我打了个落花流水 |
| [17:11] | What up, Doolio? | 你好啊 杜丽 |
| [17:13] | It’s your girl fit Brit. | 我是你姐们儿布里特啊 |
| [17:15] | Check your stats, hon, ’cause I just smoked your ass. | 你看看自己的粉丝数 亲 我刚超过你了呢 |
| [17:20] | Well, I’m really proud of you. | 我真的很为你骄傲 |
| [17:21] | You did a really good job tonight. | 你今晚做得真的很棒 |
| [17:23] | Brit may have killed the instagame, | 布里特可能赢了跟我的粉丝数比赛 |
| [17:25] | but I had earned Henry’s respect | 但是我赢得了亨利的尊重 |
| [17:28] | and kept a small child alive. | 而且还照顾好了一个小孩子 |
| [17:33] | Damn. | 该死 |
| [17:34] | Is there anything in the world kids love | 这世界上小孩子最喜欢的 |
| [17:36] | more than chicken nuggets? | 除了鸡块还有别的吗 |
| [17:38] | Maybe not. | 可能没有了 |
| [17:39] | Hey. Maybe not. | 可能真没有 |
| [17:46] | Vita-nuggets — | 维生素鸡块 |
| [17:47] | Chicken nuggets with vitamin-infused breading. | 添加维生素的鸡块 |
| [17:50] | It’s their dinner and their daily allowance, all in one! | 既是晚餐 又是零食 合二为一 |
| [17:52] | Look how excited you are. | 你怎么这么兴奋啊 |
| [17:56] | With vita-nuggets, | 有了维生素鸡块 |
| [17:57] | we move from the pharmacy to the frozen-foods aisle. | 我们可以从制药业扩展到冷冻食品业 |
| [18:01] | What happens if they want seconds? | 他们吃得根本停不下来怎么办 |
| [18:03] | Which got us thinking. | 所以我们就得思考了 |
| [18:05] | With vitamins disguising themselves as | 虽然维生素的伪装形式多种多样 |
| [18:06] | gum balls and sour worms and teddy bears | 有泡泡糖 小虫子 泰迪熊 |
| [18:09] | and even, in theory, chicken nuggets, | 甚至理论上 还有鸡块 |
| [18:11] | how many calls must Poison Control receive annually | 但是每年有毒物质控制中心收到多少父母来电 |
| [18:15] | from parents whose children have unintentionally overdosed? | 说自己的孩子无意中多吃了 |
| [18:19] | The answer is… | 答案是… |
| [18:21] | An ass-load. | 不计其数 |
| [18:22] | Eliza, the data, please. | 伊莉莎 说一下数据 |
| [18:23] | “Eliza, the data, please.” | “伊莉莎 说一下数据” |
| [18:25] | Um an estimated 50,000 calls a year — | 每年大约有五万个电话… |
| [18:29] | So two ass-loads. | 两倍不计其数 |
| [18:31] | Wow. Two ass-loads. | 有这么多啊 |
| [18:33] | Sir, there are people in this room who will tell you | 所以这里有人会告诉你 |
| [18:36] | that our vitamin needs to be cooler, hipper, gummier, | 我们的维生素需要更好看好吃好嚼 |
| [18:39] | that it needs to pretend to be something it is not. | 需要假装成其他的东西 |
| [18:42] | Like Jessica Simpson when she dated John Mayer. | 就像杰西卡·辛普森跟约翰·梅尔约会一样 |
| [18:45] | Who did she think she was kidding? | 她以为别人都是傻子吗 |
| [18:46] | I know, right? | 谁说不是啊 |
| [18:48] | But I maintain, | 但是我坚持 |
| [18:50] | for this vitamin to be a success, | 要让维他命产品成功 |
| [18:52] | all it needs to do is keep being a vitamin… | 只需要维生素老老实实做自己的维生素就行了 |
| [18:59] | …with a pleasant but not delicious orangey taste. | 味道做成不讨人厌但是也不美味的橙味就行 |
| [19:04] | Mm. No one’s eating a bottle of these bad boys. | 没人愿意吃一瓶这个玩意儿的 |
| [19:09] | That’s what makes them safe. | 这样的维生素 放着才会安全 |
| [19:11] | That’s what we tell parents | 我们就是要这么告诉众位父母 |
| [19:12] | because what parent doesn’t want their child to be safe? | 因为天下父母都希望自己的孩子安全健康 |
| [19:16] | So we take down our competitors by exposing a strength | 所以我们通过发扬本来的缺点 |
| [19:20] | – which is actually a weakness? – Yes. | -来打败竞争对手 -对 |
| [19:23] | It’s nothing short of brilliant! | 真是太机智了 |
| [19:26] | Oh! How about that?! | 怎么样 |
| [19:28] | Our elephant shall ride again! | 我们的小象又要崛起了 |
| [19:30] | – Come here, you. – Oh, o-okay. | -过来抱抱 -好吧 |
| [19:34] | I could dip you. | 真想亲你一口啊 |
| [19:36] | Oh! Actually, sir, it was Eliza’s revelation. | 其实这都是伊莉莎的功劳 |
| [19:37] | Eliza. | 伊莉莎 |
| [19:42] | That’s magnificent work. | 干得太漂亮了 |
| [19:43] | – Thank you. – No, thank you. | -谢谢 -不 是谢谢你 |
| [19:48] | You two really are quite the power couple. | 你们俩口子真是所向无敌啊 |
| [19:50] | Oh, no, sir. We’re just — | 不是 我们只是… |
| [19:51] | Perfect together. You really are. | 你们就是天生一对 真的 |
| [19:53] | I mean, can you imagine how exquisite the offspring? | 想想 你们俩的孩子该多么完美 |
| [19:56] | Oh, I imagine they’d be quite ugly, sir. | 应该是很丑吧 老板 |
| [19:58] | Red-headed Koreans — it’s not a good look. | 红发傻头傻脑的韩国人 真心不怎么好看 |
| [20:04] | Typically. | 一般都那样 |
| [20:07] | Okay, so, what is “Everyone wang chung tonight” about? | 那《大家今晚一起wang chung[乐队]》是什么 |
| [20:10] | That I don’t know, but I can tell you that | 这我不知道 但是我可以告诉你 |
| [20:13] | “Sussudio” is the name of Phil Collins’ horse | 《苏苏迪欧》[歌]是菲尔·柯林斯的马的名字 |
| [20:15] | and that “Yah mo b there” is actually an allegory. | 而”Yah mo b there”[歌]其实是则寓言 |
| [20:17] | Okay. What is “Private dancer” about? | 好吧 那《私人舞者》是写什么的 |
| [20:20] | I think that one’s pretty self-explanatory. | 这个就不言自明了吧 |
| [20:21] | Oh, Henry, can I talk to you for a sec? | 亨利 能跟你说几句话吗 |
| [20:23] | What’s up? | 怎么了 |
| [20:24] | Well, you know how I did exactly what you instructed me to do, | 你知道我按照你的指示 |
| [20:27] | and I spent the whole weekend helping others, including you? | 周末一直在帮助别人包括你对吧 |
| [20:29] | Yes. | 对 |
| [20:29] | And you know how you were supposed to have fun and not work, | 你也知道你周末不该工作应该玩儿 |
| [20:31] | – but you did the opposite, so you lose and I win? – Okay. | -但你没做到 所以你输了我赢了对吧 -嗯 |
| [20:33] | I was thinking that maybe I should get some kind of reward. | 那你是不是该奖励我一下呢 |
| [20:35] | Reward? What did you have in mind? | 奖励 你想要什么 |
| [20:37] | $60,000. | 六万块 |
| [20:39] | I accidentally left Charmonique’s wig closet open. | 我不小心忘记把夏莫妮卡的假发间关上了 |
| [20:42] | I have bad news for you, Eliza. | 告诉你个坏消息 伊莉莎 |
| [20:44] | I actually had fun this weekend. | 其实我这周末很开心 |
| [20:46] | – You did not! – I had a freaking blast. | -才没有 -我开心得要死 |
| [20:48] | No! No! You’re a liar! | 才没有 你个骗子 |
| [20:50] | Fine, then just $30,000, made out to Charmonique! | 就三万块还不行吗 补偿给夏莫妮卡的 |
| [20:53] | Henry! | 亨利 |