| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Growing up, I saw birthdays | 从小到大 我都把生日 |
| [00:02] | as a chance to party with my friends. | 当作是跟朋友派对的日子 |
| [00:05] | or at the least, the one friend | 至少 是跟我唯一的朋友 |
| [00:07] | who my mom hired, who happened to be a clown. | 我妈妈雇来的 而且还是个小丑 |
| [00:12] | Nowadays, I party like a drunk Reese Witherspoon. | 但现在 我就像喝醉了的瑞西·威瑟斯彭[演员]一样狂欢 |
| [00:15] | I am an American citizen, | 我是美国公民 |
| [00:18] | and I am on U.S. soil! | 我现在在美国领土上 |
| [00:23] | Unfortunately, not everyone thinks life is a party, | 不幸的是 并非所有人都把生活当派对 |
| [00:26] | and by “Not everyone,” I mean Henry. | 这里的并非所有人 是指亨利 |
| [00:29] | The cellphone is an extension of the hand. | 手机是手的延伸 |
| [00:32] | In fact, the very surface of your cellular device | 事实上 手机设备的表面 |
| [00:35] | is home to thousands of germs, microbes, and bacteria, | 有上千种病菌 微生物和细菌 |
| [00:38] | capable of causing everything from | 能引发各种疾病 |
| [00:40] | pneumonia to diphtheria and quite possibly — | 肺炎 白喉 甚至可能引起… |
| [00:42] | Aids! | 艾滋病 |
| [00:44] | N-no, not aids. | 没有艾滋病 |
| [00:45] | Ebola? | 埃博拉 |
| [00:48] | Those are the two I’m mainly worried about. | 我主要就担心这两个 |
| [00:50] | Charlie, I will not hesitate to mace you! | 查理 我会朝你喷防狼喷雾的 |
| [00:52] | Move! | 闪开 |
| [00:54] | – Charlie! – I’m sorry, sir. | -查理 -抱歉先生 |
| [00:55] | She’s way stronger than me. | 她比我壮太多 |
| [00:58] | Yeah, she is. How can I help you? | 是的 有什么需要帮忙的 |
| [01:01] | You know damn well I’m here on official company business. | 你非常清楚我是来执行公务的 |
| [01:05] | Let’s just get it over with. | 赶紧解决了吧 |
| [01:07] | Don’t be mad at me. | 别生我的气 |
| [01:09] | I didn’t come up with the policy. | 规矩不是我定的 |
| [01:10] | – I don’t also need a lecture! – Fine. | -我也不需要附带你的说教 -好吧 |
| [01:12] | – Ready? – I’m ready. | -准备好了吗 -好了 |
| [01:15] | Go. | 开始吧 |
| [01:23] | It’s your birthday?! | 你过生日啊 |
| [01:33] | Saturday is my birthday. | 周六才是我生日 |
| [01:34] | Policy dictates that the “Happy Birthday” song | 政策规定《生日快乐》歌 |
| [01:37] | must be administered on or before the employee’s date of birth, | 必须在生日当天或之前执行 |
| [01:40] | and I don’t work on Saturdays, so… | 我周六不上班 所以 |
| [01:41] | Thank you, Charmonique. I have been served. | 谢谢 夏莫妮卡 你的任务完成了 |
| [01:43] | Now, if you’ll excuse us, | 现在不好意思 |
| [01:44] | Eliza and I are late for a meeting with R&D. | 我跟伊莉莎去研发部开会要晚了 |
| [01:50] | I’m sorry. I just don’t enjoy being celebrated. | 不好意思 我只是不喜欢被庆祝 |
| [01:51] | Your birthday lands on a weekend? | 你生日恰好在周末 |
| [01:53] | You’re basically living my dream. | 简直是我的梦想成真了啊 |
| [01:54] | My next b-day falls on stupid Tuesday. | 我下个生日是在该死的星期二 |
| [01:57] | Don’t disparage Tuesdays. | 不要黑星期二 |
| [01:58] | Tuesdays have done nothing to you. | 星期二跟你什么仇什么怨 |
| [01:59] | So, what are you gonna do to celebrate? | 那你要怎么庆祝呢 |
| [02:02] | I’m not entirely sure. | 不太确定 |
| [02:03] | Julia and I may grab dinner. | 茱莉亚跟我可能会去吃饭 |
| [02:05] | Other than that, I was hoping to power-wash my carport, | 此外 我希望能彻底清洁一下车库 |
| [02:07] | maybe finish this documentary on tiny houses. | 可能还会看完那部讲小房子的纪录片 |
| [02:10] | – Who wronged you? – What? | -你被谁糟践了 -什么 |
| [02:12] | Why are you the way you are? | 为什么你是这个样子 |
| [02:14] | There he is! Birthday boy! | 在这呢 小寿星 |
| [02:17] | Got you something. Don’t try to dodge it. | 给你准备了点东西 不许躲哦 |
| [02:21] | Don’t you dare try and dodge it! | 别想给我躲 |
| [02:23] | He’s dodging it! He’s a dodg– whoa! | 他想躲 他想躲 |
| [02:50] | Birthday boy? | 寿星呢 |
| [02:52] | No idea, sir. | 不知道 老板 |
| [02:54] | He’s getting wilier with age. | 真是越长大越狡猾了 |
| [02:57] | I do admire that. | 我很欣赏 |
| [02:59] | See that he gets that. | 一定要交到他手上 |
| [03:02] | All this just to avoid people giving you gifts? | 你就只是为了躲着给你送礼物的人 |
| [03:07] | What constitutes a gift is entirely subjective. | 礼物的内容都很主观 |
| [03:11] | In my experience, co-workers alternate | 根据我的经验 同事一般有两种选择 |
| [03:13] | between cheap, impersonal items like this partially used | 要么是没有人情的便宜货 |
| [03:16] | Barry’s brisket gift card from Larry | 比如拉里送的这张二手巴里肉店礼品卡 |
| [03:18] | and lavish, impersonal items like this… | 要么就是没有人情的奢华物件 |
| [03:21] | Endangered ivory-tusk letter opener from Saperstein. | 比如萨珀斯坦送的濒危象牙开信刀 |
| [03:25] | Henry, you have spent weeks impressing upon me | 亨利 这几周以来 你一直教育我 |
| [03:27] | the importance of good manners and social grace. | 礼貌和社交礼仪的重要性 |
| [03:29] | There’s no way I’m not getting you a birthday present. | 所以我一定也要给你送礼物 |
| [03:31] | Fair enough. | 好吧 |
| [03:33] | Then I task you with finding something personal — | 那我要给你布置任务 必须找到有人情味 |
| [03:35] | meaningful, yet modest. | 有意义却不过分张扬的东西 |
| [03:36] | Fine. But, um… | 好 不过 |
| [03:39] | Can I cop that barry’s brisket gift card? | 那张巴里肉店礼品卡能给我吗 |
| [03:41] | Because I am hella hangry, and it’s, like, not even noon. | 我饿到不行了 可是还没到中午 |
| [03:44] | – Go ahead. – Thank you. | -拿去吧 -谢谢 |
| [03:48] | What do you guys think Henry would love more — | 你们觉得亨利会更喜欢哪个 |
| [03:50] | A tempur-pedic pillow or a mug that says “I mean business!”? | 泰普尔牌的枕头 还是写着”我是当真的”杯子 |
| [03:53] | – Mug. – They both sound terrible. | -杯子 -听起来都挺糟糕 |
| [03:55] | He says he wants something modest, yet meaningful. | 他说要不过分张扬 却有意义 |
| [03:58] | What am I supposed to do — | 那我怎么办 |
| [03:59] | Capture and gift wrap Cate Blanchett? | 把凯特·布兰切特[演员]抓来包上送给他吗 |
| [04:01] | Oh, you know who I’ve always wanted to capture? | 你知道我一直都想抓谁吗 |
| [04:04] | Clive Owen. | 克里夫·欧文[演员] |
| [04:06] | I just think he’s great. | 我真的觉得他太棒了 |
| [04:07] | Yeah, but isn’t he kind of Clive Owen in everything? | 不过他不是什么事情都要掺和一脚吗 |
| [04:09] | Oh, that’s not fair. | 这可不公平 |
| [04:11] | Can we focus, please? Let’s think. | 别跑题好吗 赶紧想 |
| [04:13] | What’s something henry doesn’t have? | 亨利没有什么 |
| [04:18] | Fun. | 乐趣 |
| [04:23] | Wait, there’s some truth in your hilarious burn. | 等等 你的幽默吐槽里还是有些真知的 |
| [04:26] | What about a party? | 给他办个派对怎么样 |
| [04:28] | I could throw Henry a fun party | 我可以亨利办一个有趣的派对 |
| [04:30] | with a cake and white tigers — | 有蛋糕 白虎… |
| [04:31] | I’m in! I’m in! I-I’m coming — no take-backs! | 我加入 我加入 不许反悔 |
| [04:33] | I don’t know. | 不好说 |
| [04:34] | Henry doesn’t seem like the “Fun party” kind of guy. | 亨利看起来可不像是喜欢”有趣派对”的人 |
| [04:37] | He seems more like the | 他更像是那种 |
| [04:38] | “leave the fun party early to avoid traffic” kind of guy. | “有趣派对提前离场只为避开车流”的人 |
| [04:41] | Stop saying things that are true! | 不要再说大实话了 |
| [04:43] | Sidebar — does anyone want this? | 话说回来 这个你们谁想要 |
| [04:58] | Oh, dear God! | 老天爷啊 |
| [05:00] | I thought you were a possum! | 我以为是一只负鼠 |
| [05:02] | I’m not. | 并不是 |
| [05:03] | What are you doing out there?! | 你在外面干什么 |
| [05:05] | – Waiting till midnight. – What at midnight? | -等到午夜 -午夜怎么了 |
| [05:06] | Your birthday, dummy. | 你生日呀 傻瓜 |
| [05:08] | Open up. | 开门 |
| [05:13] | – Geez! – Wait, wait, wait, wait, waiting. | -天 -等等 等等 等等 |
| [05:16] | Okay, now. Open up. | 好了 打开吧 |
| [05:19] | Two tickets to Blues Traveler. | 两张蓝调旅者演唱会门票 |
| [05:25] | Stunned silence. | 吓到无言以对 |
| [05:26] | Partially blind. | 眼睛已被闪瞎 |
| [05:27] | Blues Traveler’s your favorite band, right? | 蓝调旅者是你最喜欢的乐队 对吧 |
| [05:30] | Technically, my membership to the John Popper army | 严格来说 我在约翰·波普尔[乐队成员]粉丝军的 |
| [05:33] | expired 20 years ago. | 会员身份20年前就过期了 |
| [05:35] | But, uh, I did used to love them. | 不过 我以前确实挺喜欢他们 |
| [05:37] | Wait, how did you know? | 等等 你怎么知道的 |
| [05:40] | I just stalked every single person in your graduating class, | 我找出了你毕业班里的每一个人 |
| [05:42] | scoured all their individual Facebook photos | 看了他们的脸书照片 |
| [05:44] | until I found one from 1994 | 终于发现1994年的一张 |
| [05:46] | that you could been seen in the background of, | 你出现在了照片背景中 |
| [05:47] | sporting a nasty, little rat tail and a Blues Traveler T-shirt. | 梳个小鞭子 穿着蓝调旅者T恤 |
| [05:52] | In the ’90s, that was an acceptable look. | 90年代那种打扮是可以接受的 |
| [05:55] | Thank you, Eliza. Well done. | 谢谢 伊莉莎 做得不错 |
| [05:57] | You accomplished the task. | 你完成了任务 |
| [05:59] | “You accomplished the task.” | 你完成了任务 |
| [06:02] | Well, thank you, m’dear. You weren’t too shabby yourself. | 谢谢亲 你也不赖嘛 |
| [06:05] | No, that’s what Henry said when I gave him his birthday present. | 不 那是我给亨利生日礼物时他说的话 |
| [06:08] | Should I be worried that you’re laying naked | 我应该担心吗 你跟我裸身同床 |
| [06:10] | in bed with me, thinking about Henry? | 却在想着亨利 |
| [06:11] | I got him tickets to Blues Traveler for his birthday, | 我给他送了两张蓝调旅者的票当生日礼物 |
| [06:13] | and I expected him to be, like, a little more, whoo, excited! | 我以为他会… 更兴奋一点的 |
| [06:17] | In his defense, jam-band tickets aren’t that exciting. | 替他说句公道话 乐队演出票才没那么让人兴奋 |
| [06:20] | He said “Modest and meaningful.” | 他的要求是”不过分 有意义” |
| [06:23] | Well, you basically just gave the man two pieces of paper. | 你基本上不过是给了他两张纸而已 |
| [06:26] | Well, I wanted to throw him a party. | 我本想给他办个派对来着 |
| [06:28] | Well, why didn’t you? Parties are awesome. | 为什么没办呢 派对最棒了 |
| [06:30] | Because everyone else said Henry wouldn’t want one. | 别人都说亨利不想要派对 |
| [06:32] | Come on. Everybody wants one. | 得了吧 谁不想要派对 |
| [06:34] | That’s why all-important events culminate in a celebration. | 因此所有重要的事件都以庆祝活动作为顶峰 |
| [06:37] | Think about it — death, marriage, May 5th, football. | 想想吧 死亡 婚姻 五月五日节 橄榄球 |
| [06:41] | Oh, my God, babies, the Oscars, hurricanes — | 天呐 新生儿 奥斯卡 飓风 |
| [06:43] | They all come with parties! | 都有派对的 |
| [06:45] | Okay, that settles it. | 好 这样就行了 |
| [06:46] | While Henry’s at that concert, | 亨利看演唱会的时候 |
| [06:48] | I’m breaking into his house, | 我闯进他家 |
| [06:49] | throwing him a surprise party. | 给他办个惊喜派对 |
| [06:51] | He’s gonna think he hates it, but then it’s gonna be | 他会觉得自己不喜欢 可接下来 |
| [06:54] | just like you and the “Edge of Tomorrow.” | 他就会像你跟《明日边缘》一样 |
| [06:55] | Ah, I loved “Edge of Tomorrow.” | 爱死《明日边缘》了 |
| [06:57] | Oh, I know, but, originally, you didn’t want to watch it | 我知道 但最开始你根本就不想看 |
| [06:59] | because you were still mad about “Jack Reacher.” | 因为你还在对《侠探杰克》不爽 |
| [07:00] | Tom Cruise had no business playing Jack Reacher! | 汤姆·克鲁斯根本不应该演《侠探杰克》 |
| [07:04] | It should have been Chris Hemsworth. | 应该是锤哥克里斯·海姆斯沃斯 |
| [07:05] | But then we watched it on demand, and you super loved it | 但我们后来点播来看 你超爱它 |
| [07:09] | and it totally erased all the bad blood between you and T-cruise. | 完全抹去了你跟阿汤哥的恩怨情仇 |
| [07:13] | Wait, so, did we just agree | 我们是同意要 |
| [07:14] | to throw Henry a party or watch a Tom Cruise movie? | 给亨利办派对 还是看一部阿汤哥的电影 |
| [07:17] | Both. I’ll call about a keg. | 都要 我打电话叫桶酒 |
| [07:18] | You put on “The Last Samurai.” | 你去放《最后的武士》 |
| [07:19] | He had no business playing the last samurai! | 他根本不应该演最后的武士 |
| [07:24] | Unlike you… | 与你不同 |
| [07:26] | The night is still young. | 夜色还十分早[年轻] |
| [07:28] | That’s just a bit of birthday ribbing. | 过生日时候开的玩笑而已 |
| [07:31] | I hope I didn’t take it too far. | 希望我没有太过分 |
| [07:32] | Not at all. That was just the right level. | 没有没有 刚刚好 |
| [07:35] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [07:36] | But, seriously, folks… | 可说真的 伙计们 |
| [07:38] | …what might you enjoy doing after dinner? | 你晚餐后打算干什么 |
| [07:41] | I read the Fowler Museum | 我看到福勒博物馆 |
| [07:42] | has a fascinating exhibit on the volga trade route. | 有个不错的伏尔加贸易路线展览 |
| [07:45] | The whole route? | 整条贸易路线吗 |
| [07:46] | From Uppsala to the Caspian Sea. | 从乌普萨拉[瑞典]到里海 |
| [07:48] | Well, I do love river-based trade. | 我的确喜欢三角贸易 |
| [07:52] | But I was actually thinking we could… | 但其实我在想我们可以 |
| [07:54] | check out a Blues Traveler concert. | 去看一场蓝调旅者演唱会 |
| [07:57] | I’m sorry? | 什么 |
| [07:58] | It’s silly, but I used to be a bit of a fan, | 挺傻的 但我以前也算是粉了他们一段时间 |
| [08:01] | and I got these tickets for my birthday. | 有人送了我两张票当礼物 |
| [08:03] | I…I thought it could be a cultural safari. | 我觉得可以把它当成一次文化博览 |
| [08:07] | More like a cultural “I’m sorry.” | 更像是文化”抱歉” |
| [08:12] | I will be here all night. | 一整晚都说不累哦 |
| [08:14] | That was wonderful. Cheers. | 真棒 干杯 |
| [08:16] | Oh. While Henry enjoyed some boring banter with his boring girlfriend, | 亨利和他无聊的女友享受着无聊的玩笑 |
| [08:19] | I broke into his boring house to plan something fun. | 我闯进了他无聊的家 准备弄点好玩的 |
| [08:22] | Tell me if this has been overdone — | 这样做是不是太过了 |
| [08:24] | A basil-strawberry vodka luge | 罗勒草莓伏特加 |
| [08:26] | that empties onto three or four bisexual cage dancers. | 倒在三到四个双性笼中舞者身上 |
| [08:29] | Eliza, this is Henry we’re talking about, right? | 伊莉莎 我们可是在说亨利啊 |
| [08:32] | Okay, I’m gonna share with you some party wisdom | 好吧 我来给你分享一些派对智慧 |
| [08:34] | that has been thrice confirmed by my boy Checkers, | 已经被证实了三次 分别是我的伙伴跳棋 |
| [08:37] | who’s a bouncer, my old college roommate Peanut, | 他是酒吧保镖 我大学室友花生 |
| [08:39] | and this dude I know named whiskers, | 还有一个叫做”胡须”的朋友 |
| [08:40] | who’s opening up a club downtown. | 他在市中心的夜店要开业了 |
| [08:42] | Why do all your friends have cat names? | 你朋友的名字怎么都跟猫一样 |
| [08:44] | They just do. | 就是这么巧 |
| [08:45] | You ready? Here it is. | 准备好了吗 是这样的 |
| [08:46] | The celebration must suit the celebrant. | 庆祝活动必须和庆祝人相符 |
| [08:49] | You’re not gonna get Puff Daddy a bouncy castle, | 你不可能给吹牛老爹[黑人歌手]送充气城堡 |
| [08:51] | nor a small child 12 cases of ciroc. | 也不能给小孩十二箱伏特加 |
| [08:53] | You dropped it. I caught it — knowledge. | 简直 醍醐灌顶 |
| [08:56] | Huh. My work here is done. | 我的工作完成了 |
| [08:58] | Well, hey, where are you going? | 你要去哪 |
| [08:59] | I said whiskers is opening up a club downtown. | 我说了 胡须的夜店要开张了 |
| [09:01] | All my boys are gonna be there — | 我的伙伴都要去… |
| [09:02] | Mittens, Bandit, Garfield, | 毛毛 匪匪 加菲 |
| [09:05] | Felix, Azrael, Heathcliff. | 菲利克斯 艾滋雷尔 西斯克里夫 |
| [09:07] | Okay, n-now you’re just messing with me. | 好了 你是在逗我玩呢吧 |
| [09:09] | Yes, I am. | 是的 |
| [09:10] | No, but, seriously, | 不过说真的 |
| [09:11] | I got to go meet Sylvester and Hobbes. | 我得去见西尔维斯特和霍布斯了 |
| [09:19] | We are Rusted Courage, | 我们是铁锈勇气 |
| [09:20] | and our T-shirts are three for one! | 我们的T恤买一赠二哦 |
| [09:22] | Next up, Blues Traveler! | 接下来是蓝调旅者 |
| [09:33] | Is he going to do that all night? | 他一晚上都要这样吗 |
| [09:35] | I want to hear those “whoos”! | 让我听到你们的尖叫 |
| [09:38] | I think so. | 应该是的 |
| [09:40] | Everyone seems to be enjoying their flat beer. | 大家似乎挺享受跑了气儿的啤酒 |
| [09:42] | Would you care for one? | 你要喝吗 |
| [09:43] | After paying $30 for parking, I’m not sure we can afford it. | 停车花了30美元 我估计买不起啤酒了 |
| [09:47] | All right, we’re gonna start this one off with some new stuff! | 首先 我们决定来点新花样 |
| [09:51] | But you guys came here for some new stuff, right? | 你们来就是为了新花样的不是吗 |
| [09:54] | Just kidding. | 开玩笑的 |
| [09:55] | I wouldn’t want to give you the runaround. | 我可不会这么敷衍你们 |
| [10:10] | Julia, thank you for enduring this. | 茱莉亚 谢谢你忍到现在 |
| [10:13] | I’m here for nostalgia more than a love of — | 我是来怀旧的 而不是喜爱… |
| [10:24] | Did you want earplugs? | 你要戴耳塞吗 |
| [10:26] | I know we’re close to the stage, but — | 我知道我们我们离舞台很近… |
| [10:28] | You still got the pipes, Popper! | 你依然很赞 波普尔 |
| [10:30] | No, yeah, you still do! | 你依然很棒 |
| [10:32] | Oh my God, he pointed at me! | 老天 他指我了 |
| [10:35] | A-actually, I think I would like some earplugs! | 我还是戴耳塞吧 |
| [10:38] | Okay, would you want me to go get you some? | 好 需要我去帮你买一副吗 |
| [10:39] | Oh, well, I can — | 我可以… |
| [11:02] | I may go purchase a bag of peanuts! | 我去买包花生米 |
| [11:18] | Yeah! | 好棒 |
| [11:21] | So, as we all know, Henry’s favorite thing | 众所周知 全世界上 |
| [11:23] | in the whole entire world is… | 亨利最喜欢的东西是… |
| [11:26] | Me. | 我 |
| [11:26] | Close. It’s work or the workplace. | 差不多 他最喜欢的是工作或者工作场所 |
| [11:28] | Right. I knew that. | 对 我知道 |
| [11:30] | And since today is the day Henry got born, | 鉴于今天是亨利出生的日子 |
| [11:32] | I really wanted to celebrate | 我想给他最爱的东西 |
| [11:33] | by bringing him the thing he loves most, | 来帮他庆祝今天这个特殊的日子 |
| [11:35] | hence Henry’s office-themed birthday party! | 也就是亨利的办公室主题生日派对 |
| [11:39] | Why didn’t we just do it at the office? | 那为什么不直接在办公室办 |
| [11:41] | Um, for the obvious reason that I didn’t think of that. | 原因很明显 我没想到那个 |
| [11:44] | Any other questions? | 大家还有问题吗 |
| [11:46] | Do I still work for Henry, or am I a guest here? | 那在这里我是亨利的手下 还是客人 |
| [11:50] | Uh, am I still his boss? | 我还是他老板吗 |
| [11:52] | I mean, can I tell him what to do tonight? | 今晚我能命令他做事吗 |
| [11:53] | Yes, and yes. | 是他手下 可以命令 |
| [11:55] | Good. Good. | 好 很好 |
| [11:57] | I’m just glad I don’t have to drink alone. | 不用一个人喝酒真是太好了 |
| [11:59] | That’s the spirit! Huh?! | 说得很对嘛 |
| [12:01] | Everyone, just drink with Larry, much like you would do at work. | 大家都跟拉里去喝酒 就跟上班时一样就行 |
| [12:05] | Uh…nobody should be drinking at work. | 上班时不允许喝酒的 |
| [12:08] | – No. – Fine. | -当然 -好了 |
| [12:09] | Just mill around and do nothing, much like you would do at work. | 大家就跟上班时一样漫无目的地瞎转悠就行 |
| [12:13] | To be clear, | 我先声明一下 |
| [12:14] | everybody should be working at…work. | 大家上班时都应该…工作的 |
| [12:18] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [12:19] | Act like you’re su-u-u-u-per busy and completely sober, | 你就像平时上班一样好了 |
| [12:23] | much like you would do at work. | 超级超级忙 完全清醒不喝酒 |
| [12:26] | Good. Good. | 好 很好 |
| [12:30] | Henry’s office-themed birthday. Can I help you? | 亨利的办公室主题派对 请问有事吗 |
| [12:33] | Eliza, it’s UNICEF. | 伊莉莎 是联合国儿童基金会 |
| [12:35] | Who here handles Henry’s donations? | 谁要处理亨利的捐赠事宜 |
| [12:37] | Raj. | 拉杰 |
| [12:38] | Why Raj? | 为什么是我 |
| [12:40] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [12:42] | Well, let me see. | 这个啊 让我想想 |
| [12:44] | He has a big heart, | 他心地善良 |
| [12:46] | so I suppose he will sponsor, uh, 50? | 所以应该会资助 50个吧 |
| [12:49] | W-would 50 children be good? | 资助50个儿童可以吗 |
| [12:51] | – Sure, it’s a start. – That’s good. That’s good. | -可以啊 算是一个开始 -可以 不错 |
| [12:54] | Oh, oh, I see. | 我知道了 |
| [12:56] | For a few dollars more, we can buy Henry’s children a well. | 再多捐赠一点 就可以帮亨利的孩子买口井了 |
| [12:59] | I approve that decision. | 这决定我同意 |
| [13:01] | Okay, yes, Henry would like | 好的 亨利想 |
| [13:04] | to buy clean drinking water for his children. | 为自己的孩子买干净的饮用水喝 |
| [13:07] | Using the card on file. | 使用登记的信用卡付款 |
| [13:09] | No, thank you. | 不 谢谢你 |
| [13:12] | Good job, Raj. | 干得漂亮 拉杰 |
| [13:13] | It wasn’t exactly drinking champagne | 虽然这跟从双性笼中舞者身上 |
| [13:15] | off a bisexual cage dancer. | 喝香槟不能比 |
| [13:17] | But it was the kind of buttoned-up fun | 但这也算是种”无趣”的乐趣吧 |
| [13:19] | Henry would approve of. | 亨利应该会喜欢 |
| [13:33] | Hon, did you see my solo?! | 亲爱的 你听到我唱的没有 |
| [13:34] | Did you see my tasty solo, hon?! | 我唱得不错吧亲爱的 |
| [13:36] | Very tasty! | 真不错啊 |
| [13:41] | Julia, I think I speak for Wayne | 茱莉亚 我觉得我得替韦恩 |
| [13:43] | and all of the other fellow travelers | 还有其他歌迷说句公道话 |
| [13:44] | when I say you are harshing the mellow. | 你这样真的伤害大家的感情了 |
| [13:46] | That is the gist. | 确实如此 |
| [13:49] | Apologies, Wayne. | 很抱歉 韦恩 |
| [13:50] | Yeah, I think I’ll step outside. | 我觉得我还是出去吧 |
| [13:52] | Hold on. Hold on. Are you upset with me? | 等等 等等 你这是生我的气了吗 |
| [13:54] | Could you take off that hat? | 你能把那顶帽子摘了吗 |
| [13:55] | I’m having a very hard time | 你戴着那顶帽子 |
| [13:57] | – taking you seriously with that hat. – Yeah. | -我实在很难接受 -好吧 |
| [14:00] | – Are you leaving? We totally – No, no, we don’t have to. | -你要走了吗 我们… -不不 不用 |
| [14:02] | It’s just, I’m the on-call doctor, | 我是个上门看诊的医生 |
| [14:04] | and the reception in here is pretty terrible. | 这里的信号真的很差 |
| [14:06] | Oh, wait. I’ll go with you. | 等等 我跟你一起走 |
| [14:07] | No, I-I’ll — we’ll both go. | 不 我…我们一起走 |
| [14:09] | Just let me say goodbye and exchange info with — | 你先等我道个别 跟这位老兄… |
| [14:31] | I knew this would happen. | 我就知道会这样 |
| [14:33] | You see, this is why I seldom let it all hang out. | 所以我才不轻易出来玩出来疯 |
| [14:37] | Don’t worry about it, brother. | 不用担心 兄弟 |
| [14:38] | If I know anything about anything, | 这个我知道 |
| [14:40] | the hook will bring her back. | 你的魅力肯定会让她回到你身边的 |
| [14:43] | And if it doesn’t, you can always live with me. | 如果她不回来 那你可以跟我一起住啊 |
| [15:02] | Sir, can I get you to sign this check for office supplies? | 老板 这是买办公用品要花的钱 请签字 |
| [15:05] | Since we’re working here, I thought I’d reorder toner. | 既然我们在这里工作 我想再购买些墨粉 |
| [15:08] | Thank you, Joan. | 谢谢 琼 |
| [15:08] | And I’ll just remind you, | 提醒一下 |
| [15:10] | you have a surprise with Henry coming up in five minutes. | 五分钟后您需要给亨利一个惊喜 |
| [15:14] | Joan, this fake office would crumble without you. | 琼 没有你这个冒牌办公室一定行不通 |
| [15:17] | Thank you, sir. | 谢谢夸奖 老板 |
| [15:19] | Happy birthday! | 生日快乐 |
| [15:21] | Surprise! | 惊喜 |
| [15:22] | – What’s going on here? – Happy office party! | -这是怎么回事 -办公室派对快乐 |
| [15:27] | Happy birthday! | 生日快乐 |
| [15:29] | Happy office party, Henry. | 办公室派对快乐 亨利 |
| [15:31] | Is this great or what? | 是不是很棒啊 |
| [15:33] | Eliza got work bagels! | 伊莉莎准备了上班吃的百吉饼 |
| [15:35] | Henry, your children desperately wish they could be here, | 亨利 你资助的孩子特别想来给你庆祝 |
| [15:38] | but they don’t have access to modern transportation. | 但是他们没有现代交通工具来不了 |
| [15:41] | Eliza, can I speak to you in private for a moment? | 伊莉莎 我能单独跟你说几句话吗 |
| [15:44] | Okay. | 好啊 |
| [15:47] | Oh, man. | 天哪 |
| [15:50] | So, did you have fun at the concert? | 演唱会玩得开心吗 |
| [15:52] | No. | 不开心 |
| [15:52] | Really? Then why did you buy merch? | 真的吗 那你为什么还买东西 |
| [15:56] | Don’t concern yourself with my merch. | 我买不买东西跟你有什么关系 |
| [15:58] | I’m just saying, no one buys a T-shirt | 我的意思是 要是玩得不开心 |
| [16:00] | to remember a concert they did not have fun at. | 谁还会去买件T恤衫来纪念演唱会啊 |
| [16:04] | Why are these people in my house? | 他们为什么会在我家里 |
| [16:06] | How are these people in my house? | 他们是怎么进我家里的 |
| [16:08] | Did you know your bathroom window | 你知道你们家浴室的窗户 |
| [16:09] | can fit a size 2? | 155的人就能爬进来吗 |
| [16:11] | Okay, Henry, this is the “Jack Reacher” | 亨利 这就是今晚派对的 |
| [16:13] | portion of the evening. | 《侠探杰克》部分 |
| [16:14] | Right now, you hate it, | 虽然你现在不喜欢 |
| [16:16] | but eventually you’re gonna loosen up, and — | 但是最终你会放松下来… |
| [16:18] | Have you seen the “Edge of Tomorrow”? | 你看过《明日边缘》吗 |
| [16:19] | Yes, and I walked out. | 看过 没看下去 |
| [16:21] | Further, I did not like “Jack Reacher,” | 再说 我不喜欢《侠探杰克》 |
| [16:22] | nor “Vanilla Sky.” | 也不喜欢《香草天空》 |
| [16:24] | I was lukewarm on “Cocktail,” | 也不怎么喜欢《调酒师》 |
| [16:25] | liked “Tropic Thunder” in spite of him, | 但是我喜欢《热带惊雷》 虽然他也有参演 |
| [16:27] | and, hello, he had no business being The Last Samurai! | 还有 他去演什么《最后的武士》啊 |
| [16:29] | Should have been Chris Hemsworth. | 应该让锤哥克里斯·海姆斯沃斯演的 |
| [16:31] | Who? No, no! | 谁 不不 |
| [16:34] | All I wanted to do tonight was to sit quietly | 我今晚就只想安静地坐着 |
| [16:37] | and finish a documentary on tiny houses. | 看完那部讲小房子的纪录片 |
| [16:39] | But instead, against my better judgement, | 但是呢 我真是没想到 |
| [16:40] | I danced like nobody was watching. | 我竟然旁若无人地去跳舞了 |
| [16:42] | – But somebody was. – Julia? | -可有人在看啊 -茱莉亚吗 |
| [16:45] | I’m not afraid to tell you, it was a big turn-off. | 我不怕告诉你 真是太失望了 |
| [16:48] | For her. | 她失望 |
| [16:49] | I mean, the crowd loved it, | 虽然其他歌迷都喜欢 |
| [16:51] | and I made a friend named Wayne, but Julia left early. | 我还交到一个叫韦恩的朋友 但茱莉亚提前走了 |
| [16:54] | Well, that’s cool about Wayne, huh? | 至少你还交到韦恩那个朋友了啊 |
| [16:56] | And now I come home to find, in lieu of peace and quiet, | 而且我回家发现 不仅没有安静祥和 |
| [17:01] | you have peppered my house | 你反而叫了同事们过来 |
| [17:02] | with co-workers I have no interest in partying with! | 把家里搞得一团糟 我根本不想跟他们一起派对 |
| [17:05] | Team, I think it’s time to… | 各位 我觉得我们该… |
| [17:08] | clock out. | 下班了 |
| [17:10] | I’ll see you Monday morning… in the real office. | 周一早上见 在我们真正的办公室里 |
| [17:14] | Sir, let me exp– | 老板 你听我解… |
| [17:20] | Must really be hard to have everyone | 大家都想帮你一起庆祝生日 |
| [17:21] | want to celebrate your birthday. | 一定很难得 |
| [17:24] | But as someone who knows | 但是对一个知道 |
| [17:25] | what it’s like to spend their birthday alone, | 一个人过生日是多么孤单的人来说 |
| [17:27] | minus one super bitchy clown… | 还有一个超级傻逼的小丑不算… |
| [17:29] | …I can tell you firsthand that it sucks! | 我可以以自己的亲身经历来说 真的不好玩 |
| [17:33] | Eliza… | 伊莉莎… |
| [17:43] | You are two amazing women | 你们两位的小腿 |
| [17:46] | with beautiful, strong calves… | 真是好漂亮好强壮的感觉… |
| [17:49] | and deeply… adventurous souls. | 而且你们很有…冒险精神 |
| [17:53] | We’re not having a threesome, Larry. | 我们不会跟你玩3P的 拉里 |
| [17:56] | Okay, I’m out. | 好吧 我先走了 |
| [17:58] | Nope. Hmm. | 不行 |
| [18:00] | Do you think Henry’s gonna forgive you? | 你觉得亨利会原谅你吗 |
| [18:02] | Um, forgive me? Are you kidding? | 原谅我 你开玩笑吧 |
| [18:04] | He should be thanking me. | 他应该谢谢我才对 |
| [18:06] | Tonight was epic! | 今晚多棒啊 |
| [18:09] | Henry went to a concert, | 亨利去参加了演唱会 |
| [18:11] | danced with some dude named Wayne, | 跟一个叫韦恩的家伙一起跳了舞 |
| [18:12] | and provided clean drinking water | 还让一个第三世界国家的村子 |
| [18:14] | to an entire third-world village. | 都喝上了干净的饮用水 |
| [18:16] | Yeah, you’re right! | 你说得对 |
| [18:18] | And Raj had a blast — | 还有拉杰也突破了自我… |
| [18:19] | Don’t think he’s ever been to a party. | 我觉得他那是第一次参加派对 |
| [18:21] | No! And Joan get her toner on. | 当然 还有琼可以买墨粉了 |
| [18:24] | Yes. | 对 |
| [18:26] | And Larry’s having an imaginary threesome. | 拉里还在做梦跟人玩3P |
| [18:30] | Let’s get you into something more comfortable, huh? | 我让你舒服一点怎么样 |
| [18:50] | Hey. | 你来了 |
| [18:51] | Did you page the on-call doctor? | 你叫值班医生上门了吗 |
| [18:55] | Thank you for making a house call on my birthday. | 谢谢你在我生日时上门 |
| [18:57] | Well, it’s not your birthday anymore. | 现在不是你生日了 |
| [18:59] | That train has left the station. | 生日列车已经离站了 |
| [19:01] | Next stop, AARP. | 下一站是美国退休者协会 |
| [19:04] | It’s a bit more birthday joshing. | 这是个生日笑话 |
| [19:06] | But, seriously, folks, uh, may I come in? | 但是说真的 我可以进去吗 |
| [19:10] | Please. | 请进 |
| [19:14] | Take my coat, please. | 请帮我拿一下外套 |
| [19:19] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [19:20] | I’ve been making an effort | 我一直在努力 |
| [19:21] | to be a bit more lighthearted and humorous. | 让自己放松幽默 |
| [19:25] | But the truth is… | 但说实话… |
| [19:27] | Tonight, you pushed me outside of my comfort zone. | 今晚 你真的让我感觉不舒服了 |
| [19:30] | And when that happens, | 那种情况下 |
| [19:32] | I tend to become cold and judgmental and punishing. | 我就会对人冷漠 态度不好 |
| [19:39] | Yeah, same. | 我也是 |
| [19:44] | I know it’s not technically your birthday anymore | 我知道严格来说你的生日已经过了 |
| [19:47] | and you’re not keen on presents… | 而且你又不是很喜欢礼物… |
| [19:50] | But I do have one gift I would like to give you. | 但是我还是有件礼物要送给你 |
| [20:03] | I’ll be here all night. | 我今晚不走 |
| [20:05] | Seriously, folks. | 真的吗 |
| [20:11] | Not to be insensitive, but how many wells do they need? | 我不是冷酷无情啊 但是他们需要多少口井啊 |
| [20:13] | I mean, can’t they be happy | 我不是刚捐了一口吗 |
| [20:14] | with the one well that I just got them? | 他们还不满意吗 |
| [20:19] | Okay, one more well. | 好吧 再捐一口 |
| [20:21] | Yes, charge the card on file. | 好 用登记信用卡付费 |
| [20:24] | Charlie said you wanted to see me. | 查理说你找我 |
| [20:26] | Yes. | 对 |
| [20:33] | I just wanted to express my gratitude | 我想向你表达谢意 |
| [20:35] | for the effort that you put forth on my behalf. | 你为了我付出了那么多努力 |
| [20:38] | I know your intention was to make my big day special, | 我知道你是想让我过一个特别的生日 |
| [20:41] | and, in hindsight, I can now confirm that, in fact… | 回想一下 现在我可以确定 说实话… |
| [20:44] | it was. | 这个生日确实过得特别 |
| [20:46] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:48] | I had fun at the concert. | 演唱会我玩得很开心 |
| [20:50] | Thank you for my party. | 谢谢你帮我举办派对 |
| [20:52] | I’m sorry I was mean. | 抱歉我之前对你发脾气 |
| [20:55] | I knew you had fun. | 我就知道你玩得很开心 |
| [20:56] | Because I just told you. | 因为我刚跟你说了 |
| [20:57] | No, because you’re on YouTube. | 不是 因为油管上有你的视频 |
| [20:59] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:59] | 847 views! | 有847次观看呢 |
| [21:04] | I went viral! | 这么多人看啊 |
| [21:05] | – Mm-hmm. – D-delete that video! | -是啊 -快把视频删了 |
| [21:08] | Wow. You really have no idea how the internet works. | 看来你是真不知道网络世界的规则 |
| [21:14] | Delete that video! | 快删掉啊 |
| [21:16] | That doesn’t do anything. It’s still playing. | 这个没用 还在播放 |
| [21:18] | No. | 还是不行 |
| [21:20] | This is really funny for me. | 真是太好玩了 |
| [21:23] | You just Tweeted it everywhere. | 你刚又发到推特上分享了 |