| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | When I was younger, I didn’t get out much. | 小时候 我并不怎么爱出门 |
| [00:10] | Thank you! Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [00:12] | Oh, that’s so sweet. Gizmo, you’re too kind. | 你真好 基斯默 |
| [00:15] | So when Corynn McWatters, | 所以 当科琳·麦克沃特斯 |
| [00:16] | the most popular girl in school, | 全校最受欢迎的女生 |
| [00:18] | invited me, the most butt girl in school, | 邀请了我 全校最丑霉女 |
| [00:20] | to her super exclusive V.I.P.-only slumber party… | 参加她的贵宾独享睡衣派对时 |
| [00:26] | I should’ve known something was up. | 我就应该知道有猫腻 |
| [00:30] | That morning, I woke up looking like | 那天早上 我起床后 |
| [00:32] | a jacked up version of Annie. | 就像是打了鸡血的安妮 |
| [00:34] | And honestly, not much has changed. | 说实话 现在情况也并没有什么改变 |
| [00:36] | Well, that’s not true. One thing has changed — | 这可不对 有一件事的确变了 |
| [00:39] | Now I know how to work it. | 现在我已经知道如何打造自己 |
| [00:41] | First, there’s face prep | 首先是面部准备 |
| [00:43] | featuring Jessica’s cleansing wipes | 杰西卡的湿巾 |
| [00:44] | And Drew’s toning wipes. | 德鲁的粉底 |
| [00:46] | Then I reverse my bedhead… | 把睡完觉的发型倒回去 |
| [00:51] | And find my “Hairspiration.” | 找到发型的灵感 |
| [00:53] | Clear waves, full spiral, can’t lose. | 全卷大波浪 绝对不会错 |
| [00:56] | Finally, I put my face on using Kim’s primer veil, | 最后 我用金的妆前隔离液 |
| [00:59] | which was recently militarized. | 它最近已经被军事化了 |
| [01:02] | All in all, it takes me roughly three hours | 总之 我要花大概三个小时 |
| [01:04] | to look alpha, not beta. | 才能看上去美艳动人 而不是次之 |
| [01:06] | But it was worth it, | 但这都是值得的 |
| [01:08] | ’cause I was gonna floss at the “Women in pharma” Brunch. | 因为我要在”药业杰出女性”早午餐美翻全场 |
| [01:12] | Dang! | 该死 |
| [01:14] | I missed it. | 错过了 |
| [01:18] | Now the only thing left to hope for | 现在我唯一的希望 |
| [01:20] | was that Henry wouldn’t notice. | 就是亨利不会发现我 |
| [01:22] | Morning, Eliza. | 早啊 伊莉莎 |
| [01:23] | If you wanna go by unnoticed, you might wanna try | 如果你不想被人发现 |
| [01:24] | a milder fragrance with fewer notes of cotton candy. | 最好少喷点香水 少吃点棉花糖 |
| [01:28] | You noticed! | 你注意到了 |
| [01:29] | As did the entire left wing of this office. | 办公室左侧的所有人都注意到了 |
| [01:31] | How was the “Women in pharma” brunch this morning? | 今早的”药业杰出女性”早午餐怎么样 |
| [01:34] | It was really… | 真的… |
| [01:36] | informative. | 很受启发 |
| [01:37] | And, like — like, empowering. | 感觉… 充满了力量 |
| [01:40] | And it totally felt like I was holding up half the sky. | 好像自己撑起了半边天 |
| [01:43] | And — and — | 还有 还有 |
| [01:44] | and “How brave,” You know? | 很勇敢 知道吗 |
| [01:46] | And — and also? Equal pay! | 还有 同等薪酬 |
| [01:48] | Because beside every strong pharmaceutical man — | 因为每一个药品行业坚强男人的背后… |
| [01:51] | I know you didn’t go. | 我知道你没去 |
| [01:53] | Eliza, you missed out on an incredible opportunity | 你错过了一次大好机会 |
| [01:55] | to meet other women in your field, | 你本可以见见同行中的其他女性 |
| [01:56] | seasoned vets who could’ve provided valuable insight, | 让老手们给你宝贵的建议 |
| [01:59] | one of whom could’ve served as a future role model for you. | 甚至还有人可能成为你将来的楷模 |
| [02:05] | I thought you were my role model. | 你不是我的楷模吗 |
| [02:06] | Me? No, no, no. | 我 不不 |
| [02:07] | Mentor, possibly. Advisor, certainly. | 导师 可能吧 顾问 必须是 |
| [02:10] | – Sensei? – Of sorts. | -老师 -算是吧 |
| [02:11] | – Elder. – Okay, we’re done playing this game. | -长老 -好了 不要玩文字游戏了 |
| [02:13] | “Point bees,” I’m not your role model. | 问题是 我不是你的楷模 |
| [02:15] | A role model is someone whose life you aspire to. | 楷模是指你憧憬他的生活 |
| [02:19] | Do you want my life? | 你想要我这样的生活吗 |
| [02:21] | – M’kay. – No, no. | -好吧 -不不 |
| [02:23] | Not — not “M’kay.” | 不许说”好吧” |
| [02:25] | This is something you should be thinking seriously about. | 这事你应该好好想想 |
| [02:28] | You should find someone whose path you wanna walk. | 你应该选一个你渴望成为的人 |
| [02:31] | For instance, since… | 比如 |
| [02:33] | Since childhood… | 自儿时起 |
| [02:37] | my role model has been… | 我的楷模就一直是 |
| [02:39] | Dave Thomas. | 戴维·托马斯 |
| [02:41] | Isn’t he the hamburglar? | 他不是那个开汉堡店的吗 |
| [02:43] | No. Dave was the perfect role model for me | 不 戴维是我的完美楷模 |
| [02:46] | because he started from the bottom. | 因为他是白手起家 |
| [02:47] | * Now he here * | * 现在他… * |
| [02:49] | * Started from the bottom now my whole team * | * 从零开始 整个队伍… * |
| [02:51] | If you’ll quiet yourself, | 请住嘴 |
| [02:53] | There is a quote in here about Colonel Sanders… | 这里有一句他将肯德基上校的名言 |
| [02:57] | Basically got me through sophomore year. | 我就是靠着这句话活过了大二那一年 |
| [03:02] | Oh, my god. Oh, my god. | 我的天啊 |
| [03:03] | Were you a skater boy? | 你也曾经是个滑板少年 |
| [03:06] | As a youth, I thrashed, | 年轻时 |
| [03:08] | enjoyed the occasional kickflip, ollied about periodically. | 我也偶尔任性 玩几个脚尖翻板和翱骊 |
| [03:11] | Wow. You even make skate culture sound boring. | 天呐 滑板文化被你一说都变得无趣了 |
| [03:13] | Okay, Henry, I’ll report back when I find a female role model. | 好吧 亨利 等我找到楷模之后再回来给你报告 |
| [03:16] | And since I wasn’t sure whose life I wanted, | 我不太确定想要过上谁的生活 |
| [03:18] | I decided to start with someone | 于是我决定选择 |
| [03:20] | who, judging from her frown lines, | 从皱纹条数看来 |
| [03:22] | had a crapload of life experience. | 人生阅历最丰富的人 |
| [03:24] | Joan. | 琼 |
| [03:25] | As someone who is way older than me, | 你作为一个比我老那么多人 |
| [03:28] | you’ve had a pretty good life, right? | 生活肯定非常不错吧 |
| [03:31] | It’s been adequate. | 岁月静好 |
| [03:32] | And what advice would you give someone hoping to attain | 那你会给想要过上你这样生活方式的人 |
| [03:34] | the lifestyle you are currently living? | 什么样的建议呢 |
| [03:38] | You can never have too much bath tissue. | 卫生纸一定不要嫌多 |
| [03:40] | So it wasn’t gonna be Joan. | 琼还是算了吧 |
| [03:44] | Charmonique? | 夏莫妮卡 |
| [03:46] | How would you like to be a model? | 想不想当个模[模特]啊 |
| [03:48] | Mm, been there, done that. | 当过啦 |
| [03:51] | Seriously? | 真的吗 |
| [03:52] | Mm-hmm. I worked my way through college as a hand model for stock photos. | 我大学时期一直靠做手模拍照片赚钱 |
| [03:55] | Don’t believe me? Google “Racial equality hands.” | 不信吗 搜一下”种族平等之手” |
| [04:01] | This baby girl right here | 这只美丽的小宝贝 |
| [04:03] | has graced some of the finest brochures, leaflets, | 可是临幸过全美国最精美的手册 宣传页 |
| [04:06] | and prints ads in… America. | 和平面广告 |
| [04:09] | May I? | 可以摸摸吗 |
| [04:10] | Please. | 请便 |
| [04:12] | Ahh! It’s like silk! | 如丝般柔滑 |
| [04:16] | You are the perfect choice to be my role model! | 简直是当我楷模的绝佳之选 |
| [04:18] | Mnh-mnh. Pass. | 算了吧 |
| [04:20] | But you’re an inspiration to me. | 你可是给了我很大的启发 |
| [04:21] | And I wanna be just like you. | 我想要像你一样 |
| [04:23] | Everybody does, but they can’t. | 大家都这么想 可是没门 |
| [04:25] | You can’t just wake up one day, decide to become Charmonique, | 你不能早上起床决定自己要当夏莫妮卡 |
| [04:28] | and then just magically be her. Unh-unh! | 结果就真奇迹般地成了她 没门 |
| [04:53] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [04:54] | What are you doing standing right outside the men’s room? | 你守在男厕所门口干什么 |
| [04:56] | Waiting for you. | 等你 |
| [04:57] | Well, I really wish you wouldn’t ambush me. | 我真心希望你不要埋伏我 |
| [04:59] | Okay, Henry, sure. No problem. | 好的 亨利 没问题 |
| [05:01] | I can do you that favor, | 我可以帮你这个忙 |
| [05:03] | just as long as you do a small favor for me in return. | 但你也得帮我一个小忙 |
| [05:06] | Okay. | 好 |
| [05:08] | So you know how I’ve been trying to get Kevin to be more active | 你知道吗 凯文被诊断出有高血压前状态 |
| [05:11] | after he’s been diagnosed as prehypertensive? | 我一直想让他多活动活动 |
| [05:14] | I did not know that. | 我不知道 |
| [05:15] | Who knew a nugget-based diet could be so harmful? | 谁知道天天吃鸡块的危害那么大 |
| [05:19] | Everyone, yeah. | 是个人都知道 |
| [05:20] | Dietarily, it’s always the thing you’d least expect. | 从饮食上来说 你根本不可能会想到有这种症状 |
| [05:24] | First thing I’d expect. | 我第一个就想到了 |
| [05:25] | And yet, the kid has to eat. Anywho… | 可孩子总要吃东西 总而言之 |
| [05:27] | Kevin has taken an interest in skateboarding. | 得让凯文爱上滑板 |
| [05:29] | And Eliza told me that you used to be a wood pusher. | 而伊莉莎告诉我你曾经玩过小木板板 |
| [05:33] | So I thought maybe… you could teach him. | 所以我想 你可以教他 |
| [05:35] | Hmm. No. Absolutely not. | 不 绝对不行 |
| [05:37] | Charmonique, sorry to disappoint you, | 夏莫妮卡 抱歉让你失望了 |
| [05:38] | but I have a lot of work to do. | 但我工作很忙 |
| [05:40] | She also told me how passionately you feel | 她还告诉我 你非常看重 |
| [05:43] | about the importance of role models. | 楷模的作用 |
| [05:45] | And who needs a role model more than a hypertense 10-year-old | 还有谁比一个家中没有男人 又有睡眠窒息症的 |
| [05:49] | with sleep apnea and no male presence? | 十岁男孩 更需要楷模呢 |
| [05:51] | Okay. Fine. Fine. I will teach him a few things. | 好吧 好吧 我会教他一两手 |
| [05:54] | But this will not be an everyday occurrence. | 但不能每天都教 |
| [05:55] | Okay, I gotcha. I gotcha. | 好的 我明白了 |
| [05:57] | Just once in a blue moon… like his real father. | 就破天荒地来一次… 跟他的亲生父亲一样 |
| [06:00] | Don’t put that on me, Charmonique! | 别这么说我 夏莫妮卡 |
| [06:02] | It is what it is. | 事实就是如此 |
| [06:07] | I was beginning to give up hope of ever finding a role model, | 我已经开始放弃找到楷模的希望 |
| [06:10] | until I remembered I did use to have one — | 忽然想起 我以前的确有过一个楷模 |
| [06:12] | Alpha bitch… | 头等绿茶婊 |
| [06:13] | Corynn McWatters. | 科琳·麦克沃特斯 |
| [06:14] | 科琳·麦克沃特斯 最受欢迎 最美秀发 最美着装 最美笑容 最有希望成功 最上镜 | |
| [06:15] | Back in the day, | 当时 |
| [06:15] | Corynn was smoking hot and insanely popular. | 科琳美丽火辣 万人迷 |
| [06:18] | But judging by lindsay lohan, Debbie Gibson, | 但从林赛·罗韩 黛比·吉布森 |
| [06:20] | and J.T.T., | 和乔纳森·泰勒·托马斯的经验来看 |
| [06:21] | Teenage popularity does not age well. | 年少时受欢迎 长大了可都不咋地 |
| [06:24] | And I was guessing Corynn would be no different. | 我猜科琳也难逃这样的局面 |
| [06:27] | Oh, my god! She’s… | 天呐 她… |
| [06:28] | Not exactly what I had in mind. | 跟我想的不一样 |
| [06:29] | But why? Why? | 可是为什么 为什么 |
| [06:33] | Look. Look. | 你看 你看 |
| [06:34] | She renovated a farmhouse in Provence | 她在普罗旺斯翻修了一座农家小屋 |
| [06:35] | with her award-winning nature photographer husband. | 老公是获奖的自然摄影师 |
| [06:38] | She’s got two adorable kids who model part-time for J.Crew. | 两个孩子超可爱 还兼职给连卡佛当模特 |
| [06:40] | She’s friends with the Barefoot Contessa. | 她和赤足天使是朋友 |
| [06:42] | And oh, my god. She knows how to make mussels. Mussels, Henry. | 而且 天啊 她还会做扇贝 扇贝啊 亨利 |
| [06:45] | Is it really that hard to make mussels? | 做扇贝有那么难吗 |
| [06:47] | Don’t you just boil them? | 煮煮不就完了么 |
| [06:49] | If it’s so easy, why don’t you make some? | 如果这么容易 你怎么不做 |
| [06:51] | Hmm? Go ahead. Where they at? | 快啊 在哪呢 |
| [06:54] | Where the mussels at, Henry? Huh? Huh? | 扇贝在哪呢 亨利 |
| [06:56] | Where the mussels at? | 扇贝在哪呢 |
| [06:58] | Eliza, this person terrorized you in middle school, | 伊莉莎 你在中学很害怕这个人 |
| [07:00] | elected you “Most butt,” | 她把你选成”最丑霉女” |
| [07:01] | and, in your own words, “Made you feel more disgusting | 用你的原话说 让你觉得自己 |
| [07:03] | than Mary-Kate’s old french boyfriend.” | 比玛丽·凯特的法国老男友还恶心 |
| [07:06] | I’m sorry. I just don’t think | 不好意思 我觉得 |
| [07:08] | Corynn McWatters is the right role model for you. | 科琳·麦克沃特斯不适合当你的楷模 |
| [07:10] | The old Corynn wasn’t. But look, look, look, look, look. | 以前的她不是 但是你看啊 |
| [07:13] | Not only is she a published author, | 现在她不仅是个作家 |
| [07:15] | but she also has a goldendoodle named Hugh Dancy, | 而且还养了一只金毛贵妇 名叫休小舞 |
| [07:18] | and I want a goldendoodle named Hugh Dancy. | 我也想养一只名叫休小舞的金毛贵妇 |
| [07:20] | Oh, my god! Oh, look at Hugh Dancy. | 天啊 快看休小舞 |
| [07:24] | Who’s a good Hugh Dancy? Who’s a good, good Hugh Dancy? | 乖不乖啊休小舞 乖不乖啊 |
| [07:29] | All right, let’s get a hold of ourselves. | 好吧 咱俩都自控一下 |
| [07:32] | Her instagram feed is curated within an inch of its life. | 她的Ins只是她生活的一部分 |
| [07:35] | You of all people should know how easy it is to fake perfection. | 你应该最清楚 假装完美很容易 |
| [07:38] | Yes, except she’s not faking. I checked. | 是的 可是她不是假装 我查过了 |
| [07:40] | No heavy filter usage. | 没有用过重滤镜 |
| [07:42] | No suss cropping — this is a low angle. | 也没有四十五度角 这是低角度 |
| [07:43] | If she had chins, we’d be seeing them. | 如果她有双下巴 我们会看到的 |
| [07:45] | Isn’t there some chin removing app that you’re unaware of? | 是不是有什么你不知道的去双下巴应用 |
| [07:49] | Um, hello. Eliza Dooley. | 你好 我是伊莉莎·杜丽 |
| [07:51] | It’s a pleasure to meet you. | 很高兴认识你 |
| [07:52] | There are no apps I am unaware of. | 我对手机应用无所不知 |
| [07:54] | Who do you think you’re talking to, Henry? | 你以为我是谁啊 亨利 |
| [07:55] | Some newborn instagram baby? | Ins上的新生儿吗 |
| [07:57] | Look, Corynn is having a book reading tonight. | 科琳今晚有个读书会 |
| [07:59] | Just come with me and see for yourself. | 跟我一起去 亲眼看看吧 |
| [08:03] | You think Hugh Dancy will be there? | 你觉得休小舞会去吗 |
| [08:06] | When you take a surf lesson, | 学习冲浪时 |
| [08:07] | you don’t just jump right in the ocean, do you? | 你不会直接跳到海里 对吧 |
| [08:12] | No. You don’t. | 不 不会 |
| [08:13] | Hey, hey! Henry, do not yell at him. | 嘿 亨利 别吼他 |
| [08:16] | His blood pressure. | 他血压受不了 |
| [08:17] | I wasn’t yelling. I was just trying to make a p– | 我没有吼 我是要说明… |
| [08:21] | Let’s move on. | 咱们继续 |
| [08:23] | Now when approaching a skateboard, | 接近滑板时 |
| [08:25] | one must always be mindful — | 必须要明白 |
| [08:27] | Yes, Kevin? What is it? | 凯文 有什么问题 |
| [08:28] | I have no agilities. | 我不够敏捷 |
| [08:30] | That’s true. He doesn’t. | 没错 他确实不敏捷 |
| [08:32] | Fortunately, one needn’t be agile to skate. | 幸运的是 不用身手矫健也能玩滑板 |
| [08:34] | However, one must be knowledgeable. | 但是 你必须要有足够的知识 |
| [08:37] | So we begin in 1972. | 咱们从1972年说起 |
| [08:39] | A man by the name of Frank Nasworthy | 一个名叫弗兰克·纳斯沃西的男子 |
| [08:41] | has just invented the polyurethane wheel… | 刚刚发明了聚氨酯轮… |
| [08:44] | …under the crushing grip of the infamous plywood lobby, | 在臭名昭著的胶合板大厅的掌控之下… |
| [08:46] | which brings us to 1951. | 这就要说到1951年 |
| [08:49] | 1951?! We moving backwards? | 1951年 怎么还倒退了 |
| [08:52] | Boards were plentiful, sure. | 当时的木板很多 |
| [08:53] | But none with wheels. | 但都没有轮子 |
| [08:56] | Do you mind? We’re in the middle of a lesson. | 让让好吗 我们这上课呢 |
| [08:58] | A lesson about what? | 上什么课 |
| [08:59] | About skateboarding. | 滑板课 |
| [09:01] | You want a lesson from a non-poseur? | 你想跟真把式学滑板吗 |
| [09:03] | – Come by the skate park. – No doubt. | -来滑板公园吧 -没问题 |
| [09:09] | Non-poseur? | 真把式 |
| [09:10] | Who is a…are you s– | 谁是假… 你是说… |
| [09:13] | Henry wasn’t the only one confronting a childhood insecurity. | 并不是只有亨利在面对孩童时代的不安 |
| [09:16] | I was about to meet mine at her book signing. | 我也要在她的签售会上见到我儿时的克星 |
| [09:19] | And even though Corynn wasn’t the perfect role model, | 虽然科琳不是完美的楷模 |
| [09:23] | She had to be better than that slut. | 她也肯定比那个贱人要好多了 |
| [09:23] | 马德琳·奥尔布赖特 《国务卿女士》 | |
| [09:31] | If she had work done — and I’m not saying she did — | 如果她要是整过 我不是说她真的整过 |
| [09:34] | you can bet your ass it was some top-shelf new-new | 肯定是用了最新的技术 |
| [09:36] | probably done in dubai. | 估计是在迪拜整的 |
| [09:41] | Enchante, everyone. | 各位好 |
| [09:43] | Thank you so much for being here. | 感谢大家来到这里 |
| [09:45] | This book, | 这本书 |
| [09:46] | “La bonne table: recipes, memories, et moi,” | 美味餐桌:烹饪 记忆及我 |
| [09:50] | was a real labor of love for me — | 我个人真的非常有幸写作 |
| [09:52] | emphasis on the labor. | 重点在”有幸”上 |
| [09:55] | Corynn. | 科琳啊 |
| [09:56] | A lot of the inspiration for the book | 写作这本书的很多灵感 |
| [09:58] | came from my childhood. | 都来自于我童年的经历 |
| [09:59] | I grew up with her. | 我跟她一起长大的 |
| [10:01] | Not that it was easy. | 我的童年真的很不易 |
| [10:03] | I was a total nerd. | 当时我就是个书呆子 |
| [10:05] | No friends. | 身边没有朋友 |
| [10:06] | The kids at school even voted me “Most butt.” | 同学甚至投票推选我为”最丑霉女” |
| [10:10] | What?! | 什么 |
| [10:11] | I was “Most butt”! She was “Most popular”! | 我才是最丑霉女 她是最受欢迎的 |
| [10:14] | Once had a sleepover. | 有次我去别人家过夜 |
| [10:16] | The popular girls cut off my hair. | 那些受欢迎的孩子把我的头发剪了 |
| [10:18] | – You! Oh! – I cried and cried. | -你个贱人 -我伤心地哭啊哭 |
| [10:21] | The only thing that could comfort me | 当时唯一可以安慰我的 |
| [10:23] | was my maman’s French onion soup. | 就是我妈妈做的法式洋葱汤 |
| [10:26] | Page 29. | 在29页上 |
| [10:28] | – That was my story. – Cook onion… | -那明明是我的故事 -要做洋葱… |
| [10:30] | Expect for the soup part. | 除了她说的什么汤的部分 |
| [10:31] | As I recall, I pity-binged on SnackWell’s and Crystal Pepsi. | 我还记得我是借饼干和可乐消愁的 |
| [10:34] | But other than that, can you believe this?! | 但是除此之外 你能相信吗 |
| [10:36] | Huh?! That bitch stole my life! | 那个贱人竟然偷用我的故事 |
| [10:42] | Merci. Merci beaucoup. | 谢谢 非常感谢大家 |
| [10:45] | And now I’d like to open it up for all of your questions. | 现在大家有什么问题尽管问吧 |
| [10:48] | Ms. McWatters, | 麦克沃特斯太太 |
| [10:50] | I’d like to ask about the time — | 我想问一下你什么时候… |
| [10:51] | Yeah. I have a question, Corynn. | 我有个问题 科琳 |
| [10:53] | What does it feel like to be a big fat liar?! | 做个胖子大骗子是什么感觉 |
| [10:57] | For starters, I’m certainly not fat. | 首先 显然我不是个胖子 |
| [10:59] | Hey! You heard me! Liar! | 别装傻了 大骗子 |
| [11:01] | – Eliza! – You still look super hot. | -伊莉莎 -你还是那么惹火 |
| [11:04] | Do you remember me? | 你还记得我吗 |
| [11:06] | Security! | 保安 |
| [11:07] | – I got her! She’s mine! I got her! – Get away from me! | -交给我 我来 交给我 -离我远点 |
| [11:10] | Just get out of my way! Corynn… | 不要挡路 科琳 |
| [11:13] | If you were voted “Most butt,” | 如果你被选为最丑霉女 |
| [11:14] | then who was voted “Most popular,” Huh? Me? | 那最受欢迎的人是谁 难道是我吗 |
| [11:16] | Come on, Corynn. I really wanna know. | 说啊 科琳 我真的很想知道 |
| [11:21] | Those are my stories! I’m Corynn McWatters! | 她说的故事是我的 我是科琳·麦克沃特斯 |
| [11:24] | Uhh! I’m Corynn! | 我才是科琳 |
| [11:28] | The second she walks out, I’m gonna jump her. | 只要她一走出来 我就跟她撕逼 |
| [11:30] | I’m gonna jump her! You can’t stop me! | 我要跟她撕逼 你拦不住我的 |
| [11:32] | She’s not jumping anyone, sir. | 她不会跟人撕逼的 先生 |
| [11:33] | As long she doesn’t jump her inside the store, | 只要她不在店里面跟她撕逼就行 |
| [11:36] | we’re good. | 别的我不管 |
| [11:37] | You are a grown woman. You are not jumping anyone. | 你是个成年人了 你不能去跟人撕逼 |
| [11:39] | Corynn is a lying monster! | 科琳就是个大骗子 |
| [11:41] | Which is exactly why I said she’s not a good role model. | 所以我才说她不是个好模范啊 |
| [11:43] | This is consistent | 从你告诉我的事中 |
| [11:44] | with everything you’ve told me about her. | 我早就听出来了 |
| [11:45] | I can’t fathom why you’re so surprised. | 我不懂你为什么一副很吃惊的样子 |
| [11:47] | Henry, I don’t need you to be right right now, okay? | 亨利 我现在不需要你说对什么知道吗 |
| [11:50] | Okay. | 好 |
| [11:53] | Corynn has taught me that everything about myself is wrong — | 科琳告诉我 我的一切都是错误的 |
| [11:56] | The way I walked, | 我走路的样子 |
| [11:58] | the way I talked, | 我说话的样子 |
| [11:59] | the way I dressed. | 我所穿的衣服 |
| [12:01] | And I-I worked really hard | 我真的很努力 |
| [12:03] | to change that person. | 去改变那个人 |
| [12:05] | To not be that person. | 去不做那个人 |
| [12:09] | And then she… she stole that person. | 可是然后她却…偷了那个人的故事 |
| [12:20] | When you’re young, | 人年轻的时候 |
| [12:21] | everybody pretends to be something they’re not. | 总是喜欢假装成别人的样子 |
| [12:24] | I used to tell people my dad invented velcro. | 我以前还跟别人说我爸发明了维可牢尼龙搭扣 |
| [12:29] | I used to tell people I was good at skateboarding | 我跟人说过我擅长玩滑板 |
| [12:31] | even though I wasn’t. | 其实不是 |
| [12:33] | I thought it made me seem cool. | 我觉得这样说会让我很酷 |
| [12:36] | You’re not cool. | 你才不酷 |
| [12:38] | No. | 是啊 |
| [12:40] | I never was. | 我就没有酷过 |
| [12:45] | But she is. | 但是她很酷 |
| [12:53] | It’s open! | 门开着 |
| [12:56] | It’s open? | 竟然开着 |
| [12:58] | I really wish you wouldn’t do that. | 我真心希望你以后不要这样了 |
| [13:00] | Somebody could come right in here. | 否则随便什么人都能进来 |
| [13:01] | There’s nothing anyone can take | 科琳·麦克沃特斯已经 |
| [13:02] | that hasn’t already been taken by Corynn McWatters | 把我的一切都偷走了 没什么可偷的了 |
| [13:05] | except for this crystal Pepsi that I bought on eBay. | 除了我在网上买的这瓶水晶百事 |
| [13:08] | I can’t believe what I’m seeing. | 真不敢相信我眼前的景象 |
| [13:09] | I know, right? It only cost $80. | 谁说不是啊 这个才80块 |
| [13:12] | $80? All right, we’re — we’re gonna come back to that. | 80块 好吧 这个我们回头再说 |
| [13:15] | I can’t believe you’re letting Corynn McWatters | 真不敢相信你竟然要让科琳·麦克沃特斯 |
| [13:17] | get away with this. | 轻易逃脱了 |
| [13:18] | What am I supposed to do? She’s Corynn McWatters. | 那我该怎么办 她可是科琳·麦克沃特斯 |
| [13:21] | And you’re Eliza Dooley. | 而你是伊莉莎·杜丽啊 |
| [13:25] | You are the same girl | 你可是那个 |
| [13:26] | who gave Ryan Gosling’s cousin a lap dance | 在恩西诺的家庭派对上给瑞恩·高斯林[演员]的表兄 |
| [13:28] | at a house party in Encino. | 跳大腿舞的人啊 |
| [13:29] | Or was that some other Eliza Dooley? | 还是说那是另一个伊莉莎·杜丽 |
| [13:31] | No. That was me. | 不 那就是我 |
| [13:33] | I-I imagine that required a fair amount of bravery on your part. | 那会儿你那样做肯定需要很大的勇气吧 |
| [13:37] | Oh. It did. There was no music on. | 确实 当时音乐都没有 |
| [13:40] | Okay, then. Where’s that girl? | 当时的那个姑娘去哪里了 |
| [13:43] | Right here. | 就在这里 |
| [13:44] | Yeah! | 就是这样 |
| [13:45] | Whoo! Yeah! | 这就对了 |
| [13:48] | Okay. | 行了 |
| [13:49] | This is — okay. All right. All — okay. | 行了 行了 行了 |
| [13:52] | Your leg is… | 你的腿… |
| [13:54] | I don’t want you to give me a lap dance. | 我不是让你给我跳大腿舞 |
| [13:56] | I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself | 我是想让你不要自怨自艾了 |
| [13:58] | and start standing up for yourself. | 自己为自己争取吧 |
| [13:59] | You have a lot to be proud of. | 你有很多可以引以为傲的事 |
| [14:02] | – Yeah. – Yeah! | -对 -是吧 |
| [14:03] | I also dry humped Macklemore. | 我还跟麦克默[歌手]贴身热舞过 |
| [14:08] | After a good night’s sleep | 美美睡了一觉 |
| [14:09] | and some extra strength tylenol, | 又多吃了强效泰诺止痛片之后 |
| [14:11] | I decided to approach Corynn | 我决定去找科琳 |
| [14:12] | and have a calm, rational conversation about | 跟她进行一场冷静理智的对话 |
| [14:15] | what a trifling-ass bitch she was. | 谈谈她怎么是个大贱人 |
| [14:17] | Okay, I want a fair fight. Okay. | 你们俩公平斗争 去吧 |
| [14:19] | Her kids are nearby, so nothing below the belt. Go. | 她的孩子都在 你说话注意点 去吧 |
| [14:21] | Hi, Corynn. | 你好 科琳 |
| [14:23] | Remember me? | 还记得我吗 |
| [14:24] | Aren’t you the crazy woman who was escorted out of my reading last night? | 你不就是那个昨晚被撵出读书会的疯子吗 |
| [14:27] | Yes, she is. Sorry. | 正是她 不好意思 |
| [14:30] | But I’m also Eliza. | 但我也是伊莉莎 |
| [14:34] | Eliza Dooley. | 伊莉莎·杜丽 |
| [14:38] | “Most butt.” | 最丑霉女 |
| [14:40] | Eliza? Wow. | 伊莉莎 是你啊 |
| [14:42] | I haven’t said this since I became a mother, | 自打我当了母亲后就没这么说过了 |
| [14:44] | – but holy xxx, you look amazing. – I know. | -但是我xx 你看起来真不错啊 -我知道 |
| [14:48] | You’re like a totally different person. | 你就跟变了一个人一样 |
| [14:50] | No, you are a totally different person. | 不 你才是变了一个人 |
| [14:52] | Specifically, my person. | 具体来说 是变成我了 |
| [14:53] | More specifically, the person I used to be. | 更具体来说 是变成以前的我了 |
| [14:56] | To be, uh, super specific, you stole her identity. | 再具体一点的话 就是你偷了她的故事 |
| [14:59] | Which, depending on the state, | 根据我们州的法律 |
| [15:00] | is anything from a first-degree felony | 你罪行可至三级轻罪 |
| [15:02] | to a third-degree misdemeanor. | 到一级重罪 |
| [15:03] | So kiss your kids goodbye, Corynn. | 所以你趁早跟你的孩子道别吧 科琳 |
| [15:05] | You’re going to prison. | 你要去坐牢了 |
| [15:06] | She’s — she’s not going to prison. | 她…她不会因此坐牢的 |
| [15:09] | That’s a different kind of identity theft. | 会犯罪的那是另一种身份盗窃 |
| [15:12] | She was never that bright. | 她脑子一直都不好使 |
| [15:14] | This was a really bad idea. | 这个主意糟透了 |
| [15:16] | Let’s just get out of here. | 我们还是快点走吧 |
| [15:17] | – Eliza…- No, no. | -伊莉莎 -不不 |
| [15:19] | I’m sorry I stole your sad-sack, | 抱歉我偷了你那个悲惨的 |
| [15:22] | “Most butt” nonexistence. | 最丑霉女事件 |
| [15:24] | Apology accepted. Thanks, Corynn. | 没关系 谢谢 科琳 |
| [15:26] | But I just need that backstory more than you do. | 但是我比你更需要那个背景故事 |
| [15:29] | No one wants life lessons and dinner planning ideas | 不会有人想听一个以前刻薄但是依然美丽的人 |
| [15:32] | from a still-gorgeous former mean girl. | 说什么生活教训晚餐计划的 |
| [15:35] | Former mean girl? | 就是以前刻薄吗 |
| [15:39] | You just burned Corynn McWatters! | 你刚吐槽了科琳·麦克沃特斯 |
| [15:41] | Now you try. | 现在你试试 |
| [15:45] | Hey, Corynn, | 科琳 |
| [15:47] | your quick-and-easy dinner ideas | 你说的什么简易晚餐计划 |
| [15:48] | are neither quick nor easy. | 既不简单也不容易 |
| [15:50] | I tried to make one last night, | 昨晚我试过了 |
| [15:52] | and it took me forever and it tasted like crap. | 简直费足了时间 而且做出来就跟狗屎一样 |
| [15:59] | That’s more of a burn on you, but really good try! Yeah! | 你其实是吐槽了自己 不过精神可嘉 |
| [16:02] | I did it. I handled Corynn McWatters. | 我成功了 我搞定了科琳·麦克沃特斯 |
| [16:05] | And now there was something Henry needed to do. | 现在轮到亨利做点什么了 |
| [16:09] | One… | 一 |
| [16:12] | Two… | 二 |
| [16:16] | Two… | 二 |
| [16:18] | Do it, bro! | 上啊 哥们 |
| [16:19] | Just drop in! Whoo! | 尽管下去吧 耶 |
| [16:21] | Yeah. Come on. Do it. | 快点下去吧 |
| [16:23] | What if I die? | 要是我死了怎么办 |
| [16:24] | What if you live? | 要是死不了呢 |
| [16:27] | Right. Yeah. | 说得对 那好 |
| [16:35] | No. Didn’t work. | 还是不行 |
| [16:37] | Okay, on the count of three, I’m — I’m just gonna run up | 好 我数三下 然后就跑过去 |
| [16:41] | and I’m gonna push you in, okay? | 推你下去 好吗 |
| [16:42] | – No, you can’t do that! – Push him! Ride ot die! | -你不能那样 -推他一把 要去滑要么死 |
| [16:46] | – Yeah! – No! | -对 -不行 |
| [16:48] | One! | 一 |
| [16:49] | – Come on! – Two! | -加油 -二 |
| [16:50] | Three! | 三 |
| [16:52] | Oh, God! | 天哪 |
| [16:54] | Oh, my God! Henry! | 天哪 亨利 |
| [16:59] | I did it! | 我成功滑下来了 |
| [17:01] | I think I broke every bone in my body. | 可是我的骨头好像都摔断了 |
| [17:05] | Somebody get me a frosty! | 快给我冰敷一下啊 |
| [17:09] | I was proud of Henry, and it seemed like everyone | 我为亨利感到骄傲 好像每个人 |
| [17:12] | was traveling outside of their comfort zone. | 都在尝试新鲜的事物 |
| [17:14] | Linda, is that a French braid? | 琳达 你那是法式编辫吗 |
| [17:16] | Yeah. I decided to try something different. | 是啊 我决定尝试点不同的风格 |
| [17:21] | I just find her so incredibly inspiring. | 我觉得她的书真是太鼓舞人心了 |
| [17:23] | Apparently, she comes from a very ugly background, | 她的背景很凄惨 |
| [17:26] | and she overcame all of that to be hot and successful. | 但是她克服了一切 最后变得性感又成功 |
| [17:30] | Did you read it? | 你看过这本书吗 |
| [17:31] | Read it? Hell, I practically wrote it. | 岂止是看过 这本书基本就是我写的 |
| [17:37] | I didn’t need to search the world | 我不需要满世界去找什么 |
| [17:38] | for a positive female role model | 积极向上的女性楷模 |
| [17:40] | with a more robust hairline than Madeleine Albright. | 发际线比马德琳·奥尔布赖特的还健康 |
| [17:44] | I already had one. | 我已经有一个了 |
| [17:48] | 13-year-old me would have never believed it. | 13岁的我肯定不会相信 |
| [17:50] | I had surpassed expectations | 我超越了自己的预期 |
| [17:52] | and grown up to have a hot boyfriend and a cool job. | 长大后有份炫酷的工作 有个性感的男友 |
| [17:55] | 13-year-old me would be really proud. | 13岁的我肯定会为自己骄傲 |
| [17:58] | And now it was time to show 13-year-old me | 现在我该告诉13岁时候的我 |
| [18:01] | that I was proud of her, too. | 我也为她骄傲 |
| [18:39] | What — what the hell, baby? | 你…你干什么呢 亲爱的 |
| [18:42] | Do you like it? | 你喜欢吗 |
| [18:44] | You’re crazy. | 你真是疯了 |
| [18:48] | Is that you? | 那是你吗 |
| [18:50] | It’s not funny. It’s not. | 一点都不好笑 真的 |
| [18:52] | Oh, come on. It’s — it’s a little funny. | 别这样 还是…有点好笑的 |
| [18:56] | Yeah, maybe it’s a little funny. | 是啊 可能确实有点好笑 |
| [19:01] | What’s her deal, huh? | 她是怎样一个人 |
| [19:03] | What’s she into? | 她喜欢什么 |
| [19:06] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [19:09] | New kids on the block and…Furby. | 邻居新来的小孩还有…菲比[动画人物] |
| [19:11] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [19:13] | Well… | 那… |
| [19:14] | Think she might like a cute boy to take her to concert sometime? | 你觉得她想让一个帅哥带她去演唱会吗 |
| [19:19] | I think she would literally crap her pants. | 她肯定会高兴到尿裤子的 |
| [19:22] | Then tell her to bring a change of pants. | 那就让她多带条换洗的裤子 |
| [19:31] | That night, I dreamt about next year’s “Women in pharma” brunch, | 那晚我梦到明年的”药业杰出女性”早午餐了 |
| [19:34] | which I would def be at. | 我做得非常好 |
| [19:37] | Because who knows how many other women I could inspire? | 谁知道我会激励多少其他女人呢 |
| [19:44] | That’s your new mantra. | 这是你的新口号 |
| [19:46] | That’s a good mantra. | 这口号不错 |
| [19:48] | Where’s your G.F.? | 你女朋友呢 |
| [19:49] | Eliza? Oh, she’s not my G.F. She’s just my F. | 伊莉莎吗 她不是我的女朋友 只是朋友而已 |
| [19:53] | You ever hook up with her? | 你跟她上过床吗 |
| [19:55] | No. | 没有 |
| [19:57] | But I once saw her naked. | 但是我见过她的裸体 |
| [19:58] | – All right! – Yeah! | -漂亮 -棒 |
| [20:01] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [20:02] | You saw her naked but you didn’t hook up with her? | 你都看到她的裸体了竟然没跟她上床 |
| [20:04] | What happened to “No fear”? | 说好的”无所畏惧”呢 |
| [20:06] | That’s before I had this. | 那会儿我还没有这个呢 |
| [21:29] | – Next time, I’ll be ready. – Yeah, right. Nice. | -下次我会做好准备的 -对 这才对嘛 |