| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:08] | Okay! | 好了 |
| [00:10] | This next song goes out to Emma and Amy’s new guinea pig, | 接下来这首歌献给艾玛和艾米的新豚鼠 |
| [00:13] | P-P-P-Pickle! | 小瓜 |
| [00:19] | Crank up the fog, Miggy! | 把烟机开大点 米基 |
| [00:20] | I’m about to teach Pickle the Eastside Stomp. | 我要教小瓜东区爵士舞 |
| [00:23] | I got you! | 了解 |
| [00:33] | Ladies! | 女士们 |
| [00:34] | Homemade, gluten-free, butterscotch cookies | 边等边享用各种云朵形状的 |
| [00:36] | shaped like every kind of cloud while you wait? | 自制五谷蛋白奶油糖果饼干吧 |
| [00:38] | No, thanks. I gotta take Graham to basketball sign-up. | 不了谢谢 我得带格雷厄姆去报名篮球 |
| [00:40] | I thought he wasn’t doing basketball | 他不是不想打篮球么 |
| [00:41] | because he wanted to do the spelling bee. | 他想参加拼字比赛 |
| [00:43] | No. He’s psyched. | 不 他很期待 |
| [00:44] | His hands are finally big enough to hold the ball. | 他的手终于能抱住球了 |
| [00:46] | Which is why it was such a tough decision, | 所以这个决定才很艰难 |
| [00:48] | but, ultimately, my man’s heart was in the bee. | 但最终他还是心在拼字 |
| [00:51] | Right. How do you know all this? | 好吧 你怎么知道的 |
| [00:52] | I don’t know. We talk. | 不知道 我们聊天吧 |
| [00:53] | I don’t know if I think God’s up there | 我不怎么信天上有 |
| [00:54] | with, like, a big long beard, | 留着大长胡子的上帝 |
| [00:56] | but I definitely believe in something. | 但我肯定也有信仰 |
| [00:58] | I think God’s a woman. | 我觉得上帝是女性 |
| [01:04] | That was a Friday Craft Corner to remember, you know? | 那是一次值得回忆的周五工艺角 了解吗 |
| [01:06] | No, I really don’t. | 不 真的不了解 |
| [01:07] | Oh, this guinea pig is costing me a fortune. | 这只豚鼠真够费钱的 |
| [01:09] | Only eats little gem lettuce. Outrageous. | 只吃小生菜 真过分 |
| [01:12] | There’s smoke coming out of your windows. | 你家窗户冒烟呢 |
| [01:14] | Your house is on fire. | 你家着火了 |
| [01:15] | Okay, so, in the future, | 好吧 如果将来 |
| [01:16] | if you think my house is on fire, let’s lead with that. | 你觉得我家着火了 不用管 |
| [01:19] | And that’s just Miggy’s fog machine. | 那只是米基的烟机 |
| [01:21] | He’s deejaying a dance party for the kids. | 他在给孩子们的舞会当DJ |
| [01:22] | Hippie’s gotta get a job. | 小年轻应该找工作 |
| [01:24] | Well, he starts at the Winebrary tomorrow, | 他明天来酒吧上班 |
| [01:25] | and he’s been so motivated. | 而他很有动力 |
| [01:27] | I think he’s really growing up. | 我觉得他真的长大了 |
| [01:29] | Come quick! We need an adult! | 快来人 我们需要个大人 |
| [01:31] | – Sophie?! – Graham?! – Rory! | -苏菲 -格雷厄姆 -罗里 |
| [01:33] | Emma and Sally? I mean, Amy? | 艾玛和莎莉 我是说艾米 |
| [01:36] | I stomped on Pickle! It’s bad! | 我踩到小瓜了 太糟了 |
| [01:38] | – Oh, it can’t be that bad. – Where is she? | -没那么糟吧 -她在哪儿 |
| [01:40] | Over here. H-How does she look? | 在这 看起来如何 |
| [01:51] | I held her. | 我抱着她 |
| [01:52] | I saw her drifting away. | 看着她消逝 |
| [01:55] | Sniff the scarf, honey. You’re okay. | 闻下围巾 宝贝 没事的 |
| [01:57] | Hey, Lil G. How you holding up? | 小格雷厄姆 你还好吗 |
| [01:59] | Not great, Big Dubs. | 不大好 大兄弟 |
| [02:01] | Can I get a hit of that sweatshirt? | 能借我一角运动衫吗 |
| [02:03] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [02:04] | Hey, Will, doesn’t Sophie need you? | 威尔 苏菲不需要你吗 |
| [02:06] | No, she does not. | 她不需要 |
| [02:08] | When it comes to pets, | 说到宠物 |
| [02:09] | she’s always been my rock. | 她都是我的主心骨 |
| [02:10] | *Amazing grace* | *奇异恩典* |
| [02:16] | *How s-* | *何等…* |
| [02:16] | Flush it. It’s a goldfish. | 冲水吧 一条金鱼而已 |
| [02:18] | He was also my son! | 他也是我的儿子 |
| [02:20] | He’s in a better place now. | 他现在在更好的地方了 |
| [02:26] | This machine took our gummy worms! | 这机器吞了我们的毛毛虫软糖 |
| [02:28] | We gotta buy a second one to push the first one out. | 我们得再买一袋才能把前面那袋顶下来 |
| [02:31] | No, no, no. You do that, they win. | 不行 这样他们就得逞了 |
| [02:33] | Hey, boss! B-B-Boss! | 老板好 老板 |
| [02:36] | Man, I’m so psyched about my first day. | 第一天上班好兴奋 |
| [02:38] | I’ve been studying so much about wine. | 我学了很多关于酒的知识 |
| [02:40] | Miggy, I hate to stifle your enthusiasm, | 米基 我不想扼杀你的热情 |
| [02:41] | but a life hangs in the balance. | 但现在有条生命命悬一线呢 |
| [02:44] | We’ve been waiting for too long! | 我们已经等了很久了 |
| [02:45] | Oh, God. Is Pickle gonna be okay? | 天啊 小瓜没事吧 |
| [02:48] | Yeah, sweetie, I’m 100% positive | 是的宝贝 我肯定 |
| [02:50] | that Pickle is gonna be fine. | 小瓜不会有事的 |
| [02:52] | Pickle is dead. | 小瓜死了 |
| [02:53] | What? | 什么 |
| [02:54] | Who’s the owner? | 谁是主人 |
| [02:56] | Finally! | 终于 |
| [02:58] | Take that, Big Vending Machine! | 接招吧 大型自动售货机 |
| [03:00] | Today, the good guys win. | 今天好人赢了 |
| [03:04] | Girls… | 姑娘们 |
| [03:05] | Pickle didn’t make it. | 小瓜没挺住 |
| [03:07] | I’m so sorry. | 很遗憾 |
| [03:11] | I don’t think they heard me. | 我觉得她们没听到 |
| [03:15] | Pickle died! | 小瓜死了 |
| [03:17] | She’s as dead as Versace. | 她跟范思哲一样死了 |
| [03:18] | She left this world. | 离开了这个世界 |
| [03:20] | She gone! | 她走了 |
| [03:22] | Want a gummy worm? | 来块毛毛虫软糖吗 |
| [03:24] | Douglas, they’re not reacting to the death. | 道格拉斯 她们对死讯没有反应 |
| [03:26] | That’s called “resilience,” | 这叫做”顺应性” |
| [03:28] | and your kid could use a little of that. | 你儿子可以借鉴一下 |
| [03:29] | You want to step in here? | 你要不要管管 |
| [03:31] | Okay. You got it. | 没问题 |
| [03:33] | Get it together, Rory. | 振作起来 罗里 |
| [03:34] | This is more embarrassing than anything else | 现在医院最尴尬的 |
| [03:36] | that’s going on in this hospital, | 就是你了 |
| [03:37] | and that includes that dog over there | 比那条打扮得 |
| [03:38] | that’s dressed like Barbra Streisand. | 和芭芭拉·史翠珊一样的狗还尴尬 |
| [03:46] | Hey, buddy. | 小家伙 |
| [03:48] | Whatcha doing? | 你在做什么呢 |
| [03:49] | Googling “How to make sure no one ever dies | 谷歌”如何确保再也不会有人死去 |
| [03:52] | + easy steps + 2018.” | +简易办法+2018″ |
| [03:55] | Sweetie… | 亲爱的 |
| [03:56] | Look at me. | 看着我 |
| [03:58] | I’m gonna be here for a very, very long time, okay? | 我会陪着你很长 很长一段时间 好吗 |
| [04:02] | I’m worried about Will. | 我在担心威尔 |
| [04:05] | Will? | 威尔 |
| [04:06] | Why is Graham worrying about you dying? | 为什么格雷厄姆担心你死不死 |
| [04:07] | He’s known you for a month. He shouldn’t care if you die. | 他才认识你一个月 不应该在意的 |
| [04:09] | We should all care if anyone dies. | 任何人死了我们都应该在意 |
| [04:11] | Why are you suddenly best friends with my kid? | 你怎么成了我儿子的死党了 |
| [04:13] | It’s weird. | 太奇怪了 |
| [04:14] | We like all the same movies and magazines | 我们喜欢一样的电影和杂志 |
| [04:16] | and have a kind of undeniable chemistry. | 而且我们有”无可否认的化学反应” |
| [04:19] | But I don’t want to step on your toes. | 但我不想越界 |
| [04:20] | I w– I will back off. | 我会退后的 |
| [04:22] | – Right after the colonoscopy. – What?! | -等我做完肠镜检查的 -什么 |
| [04:24] | Well, Graham read that colonoscopies help prevent death, | 格雷厄姆看到说肠镜检查能延寿 |
| [04:27] | and he knows that my grandfather died from colon cancer, | 他知道我爷爷死于结肠癌 |
| [04:29] | so I told him I’d get one. | 所以我跟他说我去做 |
| [04:31] | Look, I had a colonoscopy on the books, | 我之前就预定过肠镜检查了 |
| [04:32] | and I just moved it up when I saw how much it meant to Graham. | 看见格雷厄姆这么在意我就提前了 |
| [04:35] | Your colon shouldn’t mean anything to Graham! | 格雷厄姆不应该关心你的结肠 |
| [04:37] | He shouldn’t want you to be getting a tube up your butt. | 他不该希望你的屁眼里被塞管子 |
| [04:39] | The only butt he should care about is mine. | 他只能在意我的 |
| [04:41] | It is, okay? You know how fickle kids are. | 是这样的 好吗 你知道小孩有多善变 |
| [04:43] | He’s probably already over me. | 他可能已经忘了我了 |
| [04:45] | Hey, Will, I was just thinking about you. | 威尔 我刚正在想你呢 |
| [04:47] | Let’s try the handshake. | 来握个手吧 |
| [04:49] | Slap it, bump it, chicken wing… | 击掌 撞拳 小鸡展翅 |
| [04:50] | Being best friends is our…thing. | 最铁死党就是咱 |
| [04:53] | Pumped up your ball for you. | 我给你的球打好气了 |
| [04:54] | Thanks! You’re the best! | 谢了 你最好了 |
| [04:56] | Oh. Hey, Mom. | 妈妈 |
| [04:59] | Day 1 realness! | 第一天开始啦 |
| [05:01] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [05:02] | And I love that tie. | 很喜欢你的领带 |
| [05:03] | I got it at the drugstore. | 我在药店买的 |
| [05:05] | Okay. Cool. | 好吧 酷 |
| [05:06] | Watch out, Miggy. Here come the regulars. | 当心了 米基 熟客来了 |
| [05:08] | They call themselves the “Winebrarians.” | 她们自称”酒馆员” |
| [05:10] | Don’t call them a group. They identify as a collective. | 别说她们是小群体 她们是一个整体 |
| [05:13] | Bess, Franny, Lil… meet Miggy. | 贝丝 弗兰妮 莉尔 这位是米基 |
| [05:16] | You hired a man? Did he make you do this? | 你雇了个男人 是他要你雇他的吗 |
| [05:18] | He better not hit on us. | 他最好别来撩我们 |
| [05:20] | Ladies, I know the Winebrary has a feminist mission, | 女士们 我知道酒馆有女性主义使命 |
| [05:23] | but we need male allies. | 但我们需要男同盟 |
| [05:25] | Exactly. I love women. | 就是 我爱女性 |
| [05:27] | And not just the hot ones. | 不仅仅是性感的女性 |
| [05:28] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [05:29] | O…kay. Maybe don’t talk to them. | 好吧 还是不要跟她们说话了 |
| [05:32] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [05:34] | Guess what, hot shot. | 猜猜怎么着 抢手货 |
| [05:35] | I’m getting a colonoscopy. | 我也要做肠镜检查了 |
| [05:37] | My butt beats your butt. | 我的屁股打败了你的屁股 |
| [05:39] | I’ve got the number-one butt! | 我的屁股才是第一名 |
| [05:40] | – Yeah, you do! – You’re better than that, Mr. Withers. | -确实 -别这么下作 威瑟斯老师 |
| [05:44] | – When’s your colonoscopy appointment? – Next month. | -你肠镜检查约在什么时候 -下个月 |
| [05:46] | Ha! Mine’s at 4:00 P.M. today. Suck on that. | 我的在今天下午四点 输了吧 |
| [05:50] | What is that? | 这是什么 |
| [05:51] | Pre-colonoscopy smoothie. | 肠镜检查前奶昔 |
| [05:52] | Tastes just like a regular smoothie, | 味道和普通奶昔一样 |
| [05:54] | except it’s disgusting, and I love it. | 只不过很恶心 我喜欢 |
| [05:56] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a colonoscopy to get to. | 不好意思了 我要去做肠镜检查了 |
| [05:59] | You know that they put you out for the procedure | 你知道他们会让你做手术 |
| [06:00] | and you need someone to drive you home, right? | 所以你需要个人开车载你回家吧 |
| [06:03] | Of course I know that. | 我当然知道了 |
| [06:04] | – You want a ride? – Yes, obviously. | -需要我载你吗 -当然了 |
| [06:07] | Where the hell is Poppy? I’m — I’m off the clock. | 波比到底去哪了 我下班了 |
| [06:10] | I got e-mails to do. | 我还有电邮要处理 |
| [06:11] | All right, kids, scatter, mingle, have fun. | 好了 孩子们 自己玩去吧 祝开心 |
| [06:15] | Girls, I am truly, truly humbled | 姑娘们 我真的真的很感激 |
| [06:19] | that you would allow me, the murderer, | 今晚你们让我这个凶手 |
| [06:21] | to plan Pickle’s funeral here tonight. | 在这策划小瓜的葬礼 |
| [06:24] | Was there another option? | 还有别的选择吗 |
| [06:26] | Sophie, how we looking on that “In memoriam” Slideshow? | 苏菲 纪念小瓜的幻灯片准备得怎么样 |
| [06:29] | Not good. The deadline has passed, | 不太好 已经过了最后期限了 |
| [06:31] | and I only got two pictures from my dad. | 我只从我爸那边拿了两张图 |
| [06:33] | And one was a poorly aimed selfie. | 其中一张还是角度很差的自拍 |
| [06:38] | – Miggy? – Soph! What’s good? | -米基 -小苏 你好啊 |
| [06:40] | What’s going on? | 怎么回事 |
| [06:42] | Are you hiding? | 你在躲着吗 |
| [06:43] | No! I’m just crouching and thinking. | 没有 我只是在蹲着思考 |
| [06:46] | Sure. | 好吧 |
| [06:47] | It turns out, there’s a really big part of my job that I forgot to learn. | 看来这份工作有很重要的一步我忘了学 |
| [06:51] | Ladies, it’s wine time! | 女士们 品酒时间到 |
| [07:01] | You can’t use a corkscrew? | 你连开瓶器都不会用 |
| [07:03] | It’s super hard. | 超难的 |
| [07:04] | Maybe those ladies won’t notice there’s no wine | 那些女士们看书入迷之后 |
| [07:06] | ’cause their books are so good. | 可能就不会想起酒杯是空的了 |
| [07:09] | – You see I don’t have any wine, right? You guys see that? – Yeah. | -你看到这瓶子是空的了吧 -没错 |
| [07:11] | Yeah, I don’t think that plan has legs. | 我不觉得你这计划行得通 |
| [07:13] | I agree. | 同意 |
| [07:14] | Hey, Miggy, how’s it going? | 米基 怎么样了 |
| [07:15] | – Poppin’ and pourin’. Corks don’t scare me! – Good. | -开瓶倒酒 瓶塞可吓不倒我 -好 |
| [07:17] | Sophie, I’m gonna get you that picture of Pickle. I promise. | 苏菲 我保证给你找到小瓜的照片 |
| [07:20] | Not holding my breath. | 不急 |
| [07:21] | Rory, I should have given you a budget for this funeral. | 罗里 我应该给你葬礼钱的 |
| [07:23] | That’s on me. | 我的锅 |
| [07:24] | Come on. Let’s check out the veil I ordered on Amazon. | 来 看看我在亚马逊上订的面罩 |
| [07:27] | Spanish lace — they claim. | 他们说是这西班牙花边的 |
| [07:29] | Looks like Pickle’s gonna be buried in Gwyneth Paltrow’s | 看来小瓜要穿着格温妮丝·帕特洛 |
| [07:32] | “Shakespeare in Love” Oscar dress. | 在《莎翁情史》里穿的裙子入土了 |
| [07:34] | Your kid’s obsessed with death. | 你的小孩正沉迷于死亡 |
| [07:36] | Yeah, well, it’s not healthy to bottle up sad feelings. | 把悲伤的情绪藏在心里是不健康的 |
| [07:39] | Oh, I’ve bred my girls to handle feelings the way I do — | 我用自己的方式教女孩怎么处理情感 |
| [07:41] | repress, replace, move on. | 抑制 替代 继续生活 |
| [07:45] | We never have emotional conversations. | 我们从未有过关于情感的讨论 |
| [07:46] | Oh, that can’t be true. | 这不可能 |
| [07:47] | What about when you talk about their mom? | 当你提到孩子们母亲的时候呢 |
| [07:49] | We don’t talk about her. | 我们不谈她 |
| [07:51] | You mean never? | 从来都不吗 |
| [07:51] | That’s one of my biggest triumphs as a parent. | 这是我作为家长最大的成功之一 |
| [07:53] | That and getting them to think that it’s their job | 这件事 以及让她们明白为我铺床 |
| [07:56] | to make my bed. Yeah. | 是她们的工作 |
| [07:57] | On holidays, they — they put a little seasonal candy | 过节的时候 她们会在我的枕头上 |
| [08:00] | right on the pillow — adds a nice touch. | 放上一点点当季的糖来锦上添花 |
| [08:03] | Douglas, Emma and Amy deserve a safe space | 道格拉斯 艾玛和艾米需要一个 |
| [08:05] | where they can express their feelings and ask questions. | 能让她们表达情感和提出问题的安全空间 |
| [08:08] | They’re little girls whose mom died. | 她们是没有妈妈的小女孩 |
| [08:10] | Really, Poppy? Okay, thanks for the update. | 真的吗 波比 多谢提醒 |
| [08:12] | You know what — I think I need a safe space | 我觉得我自己需要一个安全空间 |
| [08:14] | where I can parent my kids the way I think fit | 能让我用我自己觉得正确的方式教育孩子 |
| [08:16] | without being lectured by a woman whose son | 让我免受一个女人的说教 |
| [08:19] | is treating a rodent like it’s JFK! | 她儿子像对待总统一样对待啮齿动物 |
| [08:24] | So you’re just running away? | 你打算逃避吗 |
| [08:25] | I’m gonna do what I should’ve done in the first place — | 我要去做一开始就该做的事 |
| [08:28] | repress, replace, move on. | 抑制 替代 继续生活 |
| [08:30] | All right, girls, get in the Benz. | 女孩们 上车 |
| [08:32] | We’re gonna go to the pet store and buy you a new pig thing. | 我们去宠物店买个新老鼠 |
| [08:39] | Okay, look alive, ladies. We’re gonna get a new guinea pig. | 好好看看 我们要买个新豚鼠了 |
| [08:42] | Let’s not stay too long, girls. We’re gonna smell like pets. | 别待太久 不然我们闻着会像宠物 |
| [08:45] | Let’s motor. | 开动吧 |
| [08:46] | Efficiency. | 效率点 |
| [08:50] | That’s what you want? Robots with braids? | 这就是你想要的 扎辫子的机器人 |
| [08:52] | They’re doing better than your kid. | 比你家孩子好 |
| [08:54] | I killed your sister! | 我杀了你们的姐妹 |
| [08:57] | Fine. Keep doing what you’re doing. | 好吧 你就继续这么做吧 |
| [09:00] | Repress, replace, move on. | 抑制 替代 继续生活 |
| [09:01] | That’s how you want your kids to handle the loss of their pet. | 你就希望孩子这么面对失去宠物的情感 |
| [09:03] | Yep. | 没错 |
| [09:04] | And the loss of their mom. | 还有失去妈妈的情感 |
| [09:06] | You got it. | 你说对了 |
| [09:08] | Is that how you dealt with it? | 你也是这么面对的吗 |
| [09:16] | I’m starting to think you didn’t deal with it at all. | 我觉得你从未面对过 |
| [09:20] | It’s easier this way. | 这样更容易 |
| [09:22] | – Dad, we got one! – We’re gonna call her “Pickle”! | -爸 找到了 -我们打算叫她小瓜 |
| [09:26] | B-But this isn’t Pickle. | 但这不是小瓜 |
| [09:28] | Who cares? | 谁在乎呢 |
| [09:28] | It’ll be like the other Pickle never existed. | 这样之前的小瓜就像没存在过了 |
| [09:31] | Yeah, Dad, like you said, “Repress, replace, move on.” | 像你说的 抑制 替代 继续生活 |
| [09:34] | Yeah, like you said. | 是啊 像你说的 |
| [09:41] | Douglas, are you okay? | 道格拉斯 你还好吗 |
| [09:44] | N-N-No, I’m not. | 我不好 |
| [09:46] | Okay? I’m — I’m upset, actually. | 其实我很难过 |
| [09:49] | And why are you upset? | 你为什么难过 |
| [09:51] | I’m upset because… | 因为 |
| [09:54] | this guinea pig is a total loser. | 这只豚鼠是个彻头彻尾的废物 |
| [09:57] | It’s like God was trying to make a possum and gave up. | 长得像一只半成品负鼠 |
| [10:00] | We have to find a better one. | 我们得找一只更好的 |
| [10:02] | I was about to go on break. | 我其实要歇一会了 |
| [10:03] | No, you’re not gonna go on break, Raj. | 不 你不能休息 拉杰 |
| [10:05] | Not until we find a perfect replacement for Pickle! | 在我们找到小瓜合适的替代之前都不行 |
| [10:09] | I don’t care if we have to stay all night. | 就算要待一整晚我也不介意 |
| [10:10] | We only have seven to choose from. | 只有七只备选 |
| [10:12] | Then we’ll start there. | 那就从这开始 |
| [10:15] | It’s about to be lit! | 马上就要打开啦 |
| [10:24] | You still can’t use a corkscrew, can you? | 你还是不会用开瓶器 对吧 |
| [10:27] | They’ll hear you, okay? | 她们能听见你讲话 |
| [10:29] | Look, I don’t know what to do. | 我不知道该怎么办 |
| [10:30] | I already used up all my best methods of distraction. | 所有能分散注意力的方法我都用过了 |
| [10:33] | So, I understood the first women’s march, | 第一个女权游行我能懂 |
| [10:35] | but what was the second one about? | 但第二个是什么意思呢 |
| [10:38] | The organizers didn’t have the resources! | 组织者当时没有财力物力 |
| [10:39] | – You don’t get to ask that. – I don’t know, | -你不能问 -我不知道 |
| [10:41] | but the third one is coming straight to your house. | 但是第三个要直奔你家了 |
| [10:43] | I’m gonna watch this “Corkscrews for Dummies” video on YouTube | 我要再看一下油管上的开瓶器傻瓜教程 |
| [10:46] | one more time and just pray for a miracle. | 祈祷有奇迹发生吧 |
| [10:48] | You do that, and I’m gonna go use | 你看吧 我打算用 |
| [10:49] | my best method of distraction. | 我最好的分散注意力大法 |
| [10:53] | I’m thinking of being a princess for Halloween. Thoughts? | 我想在万圣节扮成公主 有什么提议吗 |
| [10:56] | Do you want to live in a box? | 你想住在小盒子里吗 |
| [10:57] | – Do you want to live in a box? – Oh, honey, sit. | -你想住在盒子里吗 -宝贝儿 坐吧 |
| [11:02] | Is this one even American? | 这个算是美国的吗 |
| [11:04] | All right, do you have any others in the back? | 好了 你后面还有别的吗 |
| [11:06] | No, sir, we don’t keep secret extra guinea pigs | 没有 先生 我们不会把多的豚鼠 |
| [11:08] | in the back of the store. | 藏在店后面 |
| [11:09] | Have you had a chance to check out our leash selection? | 想要来看看这些皮带吗 |
| [11:12] | Oh, goodie! A leash! | 好耶 皮带 |
| [11:14] | Maybe I’ll take one home and call it “Pickle,” | 要不然我挑一条回家然后叫它小瓜 |
| [11:16] | and I’ll feed it little gem lettuce. | 喂它小生菜 |
| [11:18] | Do any of your guinea pigs even eat little gems?! | 你这的豚鼠吃小生菜吗 |
| [11:22] | Dad, we don’t have to get a new guinea pig today. | 爸 我们不用非得今天就买新豚鼠 |
| [11:25] | Yeah, we found a cool leash | 对 我们找到一条很棒的皮带 |
| [11:26] | with rhinestones to buy instead. | 上面有莱茵石 可以买这个 |
| [11:28] | But a leash is not a guinea pig! | 但是皮带又不是豚鼠 |
| [11:30] | – Attention! – Douglas. | -请注意 -道格拉斯 |
| [11:31] | – Attention, everybody! – Douglas. | -大伙请注意 -道格拉斯 |
| [11:32] | It’s important you know this. | 这点对你们来说很重要 |
| [11:34] | It is possible that any one of these animals can die at any moment, | 这些动物在任何时候都可能死去 |
| [11:39] | and this God-forsaken rat farm | 但是这个见鬼的鼠舍 |
| [11:42] | will not guarantee a replacement! | 都不能保证再买到一只替代品 |
| [11:45] | Yeah. You have to — put it — | 你得 放在 |
| [11:47] | I know what I’m doing. | 我知道我在干什么 |
| [11:49] | Just got to — | 你只要 |
| [11:49] | – I’m taking the leash! – Okay. | -这条皮带我要了 -好吧 |
| [11:50] | And I hope it comes out of your paycheck, Raj! | 但得在你的薪水里扣了 拉杰 |
| [11:55] | “Procedure may cause tear in rectum wall”? | 过程可能造成直肠壁撕裂 |
| [11:59] | “Photos may be used for teaching purposes”?! | 照片可能被用于教学 |
| [12:04] | Just checking in. | 我来看看你 |
| [12:06] | Also, there’s a guy in the waiting room | 而且等待室里有个男的 |
| [12:07] | who keeps telling me and Graham about his GERD. | 一直在跟我和格雷厄姆说他的胃食管反流病 |
| [12:09] | Oh, yeah? Well, I’m just reading about colonoscopy risks, | 是吗 我正在看肠镜检查的风险 |
| [12:12] | and one is death. | 其中之一是死亡 |
| [12:14] | – So, yeah, thanks a lot. – What? | -真是谢谢了 -怎么了 |
| [12:17] | I didn’t force you to get an emergency midday colonoscopy. | 我又没逼着你大中午急匆匆地来做肠镜检查 |
| [12:19] | You basically did. | 基本上就是因为你 |
| [12:24] | All right, that’s it. | 够了 |
| [12:25] | I’ll accept the blame for a lot of things — | 很多事情都可以怪我 |
| [12:27] | Sophie’s flat feet, the lack of coverage of Hurricane Nate… | 苏菲的扁平足 没有报道飓风内特 |
| [12:29] | There was a category-one. We had bigger fish to fry. | 只有一级 我们另有要事要报道 |
| [12:32] | Okay, I don’t understand. Are you a weatherman? | 我不明白 你是天气预报员吗 |
| [12:34] | How many times do I have to say it? It’s very simple. | 到底要我说几遍 很简单 |
| [12:36] | I’m a stay-at-home weather researcher. | 我是个家里蹲天气研究员 |
| [12:38] | But I will not accept the blame | 但我无法接受你怪我 |
| [12:40] | for you sitting here in a very see-through robe — | 害你坐在这 穿着一件非常透的袍子 |
| [12:42] | I apologize — | 对不起 |
| [12:43] | waiting to get a colonoscopy! | 等着做肠镜检查 |
| [12:44] | Is it weird that I was gonna get one for Graham? | 我为格雷厄姆去做检查很奇怪吗 |
| [12:47] | Yes. | 对 |
| [12:49] | But isn’t it weirder that you were threatened by that? | 但是你觉得受到威胁不是更奇怪吗 |
| [12:51] | Of course I was threatened! | 我当然觉得有威胁了 |
| [12:53] | It feels like you’re trying to be a father figure to my son, | 感觉你要成为我孩子眼里的父亲了 |
| [12:55] | and I-I’m the only person he needs. | 他只需要我一个人 |
| [12:58] | I’m his father and his mother. | 我是他的父亲 也是母亲 |
| [13:00] | Last Father’s Day, I took myself out | 上个父亲节 我自己出去 |
| [13:02] | to a dope-ass brunch | 吃了顿超棒的早午餐 |
| [13:04] | and bought military fiction in hardcopy! | 还买了本军事小说 |
| [13:09] | I — | 我 |
| [13:11] | I want to be enough for him. | 我想让他有我就足够了 |
| [13:14] | You are. | 你做到了 |
| [13:17] | You’re doing a great job as the dad. | 你父亲当得也很好 |
| [13:20] | Honestly. | 说真的 |
| [13:21] | You give off angry-dad vibes all the time. | 你总是一副凶爸爸的样子 |
| [13:25] | Like, I’m looking at your face right now, | 我看着你的脸 |
| [13:26] | and I’m like, “That dad is pissed.” | 就会想”这个爸爸气坏了” |
| [13:31] | Sorry I overreacted today. | 抱歉 我今天反应过度了 |
| [13:33] | No, you didn’t overreact. | 不 你才没有 |
| [13:38] | I’ve just never seen Graham | 我只是从没见过格雷厄姆 |
| [13:40] | legitimately bond with a man before. | 和一个男人建立感情 |
| [13:43] | It’s freaking me out. | 我吓坏了 |
| [13:45] | He’s never met his father. | 他从没见过他爸爸 |
| [13:52] | Angie, you have to know that you’re Graham’s whole world. | 安吉 你就是格雷厄姆的全部 |
| [13:56] | The undeniable chemistry that he and I have | 我和他之间无可否认的化学反应 |
| [13:57] | is no match for the love he has for you. | 根本比不上他对你的爱 |
| [13:59] | Can you please stop calling it “Undeniable chemistry”? | 能不能别叫它”无可否认的化学反应”了 |
| [14:01] | I have to call it what it is. | 本来就是 |
| [14:06] | I don’t need a colonoscopy. | 我不需要肠镜检查 |
| [14:08] | This was a crazy move. | 这太疯狂了 |
| [14:10] | I feel better. Weirdly calm. | 我感觉好点了 居然很冷静 |
| [14:13] | Well, the sedative should’ve fully kicked in. It’s showtime! | 镇静剂应该起效了 开始吧 |
| [14:16] | Oh, my God, I’m getting a colonoscopy! | 天呐 我要做肠镜检查了 |
| [14:18] | You totally are! It’s oddly inspiring! | 没错 奇怪的是很励志啊 |
| [14:20] | You’re a great dad, Angie! | 你是个好爸爸 安吉 |
| [14:25] | Okay, this year for Halloween, I will be Pingyang, | 今年万圣节我要扮成平阳 |
| [14:28] | Chinese warrior princess born in 598 AD. | 生于公元598年的中国武士公主 |
| [14:31] | And you let me know if you need to borrow my sword. | 要借我的剑就说一声 |
| [14:34] | – I think our work here is done. – To Pingyang. | -我们的任务完成了 -敬平阳 |
| [14:36] | To Pingyang. | 敬平阳 |
| [14:38] | – No. – All right, where’s our wine. | -不 -酒呢 |
| [14:39] | – He never filled our glass! – I want wine! | -他根本没给我们倒 -我要喝酒 |
| [14:41] | – Miggy, did the video work? – No. Look. | -米基 视频管用吗 -不行 看 |
| [14:45] | – You’re bleeding! – What’s going on? | -你出血了 -怎么回事 |
| [14:46] | Are you waiting for a man to come buy us drinks? | 你在等男人来请我们喝酒吗 |
| [14:49] | Are you ignoring us because you don’t see us as sexual beings? | 你觉得我们不性感 所以忽视我们吗 |
| [14:51] | No, you’re very sexual. | 不 你们很性感 |
| [14:53] | How can I see you as anything but? | 我怎么会觉得你们不性感呢 |
| [14:54] | Well, what are you waiting on, then? What’s going on? | 那你在等什么 怎么回事 |
| [14:56] | Do I need to jump over this counter and get my own wine? | 要我跳过吧台自己倒酒吗 |
| [14:58] | Please don’t hurt me! | 别伤害我 |
| [14:58] | He can’t use a corkscrew, okay?! | 他不会用开瓶器 |
| [15:04] | Oh, my goodness. | 我的天啊 |
| [15:05] | Making a child defend you? Please! No one is that stupid. | 让小孩替你说话 拜托 谁会那么蠢 |
| [15:09] | I am! I am that stupid. | 我 我就是那么蠢 |
| [15:11] | There’s $1,000 of broken wine bottles | 垃圾桶里价值一千美金的 |
| [15:13] | in the trash to prove it. | 破酒瓶可以证明 |
| [15:15] | And it sucks ’cause I really want to crush this job. | 太难受了 我真的想做好这份工作 |
| [15:18] | Poppy’s the best person in the world. | 波比是全世界最好的人 |
| [15:20] | And that includes this dude Dwayne you guys don’t know. | 比你们不认识的那个德韦恩要好 |
| [15:24] | And for some reason, she believes in me, | 不知道为什么 她相信我 |
| [15:25] | and I want to give her a reason to believe. | 我想给她相信我的理由 |
| [15:29] | But I can’t. | 但我做不到 |
| [15:30] | So, it’s — it’s time for me to hang up my wine tie. | 我该把酒瓶领带收起来了 |
| [15:33] | I don’t deserve this job. | 我配不上这份工作 |
| [15:34] | Okay. It’s a clip-on. | 这是用夹子别上的 |
| [15:36] | – What happened to that boy? – We have to help him, don’t we? | -他怎么了 -我们必须帮帮他 |
| [15:39] | Yeah, we do. | 是啊 |
| [15:42] | – It’s screw time. – Screw time. | -开瓶 -开瓶 |
| [15:44] | Come on, twist! Come on. Come on. | 加油 拧 加油 加油 |
| [15:45] | Don’t be afraid to make a little noise. | 声音大点也没事 |
| [15:46] | – Get your legs involved! – No, clockwise! Clockwise! | -腿也要用力 -不 顺时针 |
| [15:52] | I…almost got it! | 马上就成功了 |
| [15:56] | Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [15:59] | – Thank you. I did it! – Really, really good. | -谢谢 我做到了 -太棒了 |
| [16:02] | What’s everyone cheering about? | 你们在欢呼什么 |
| [16:06] | We’re cheering because Miggy… is so great. | 我们欢呼是因为米基…特别好 |
| [16:11] | First straight man I’ve ever respected. | 他是第一个赢得我尊重的直男 |
| [16:13] | Also, whose kid is this? | 还有 这是谁家孩子 |
| [16:14] | Miggy! | 米基 |
| [16:18] | He’s one of the good ones. | 他确实不错 |
| [16:23] | 小瓜 生命的礼赞 | |
| [16:27] | Hello. Welcome. | 你好 欢迎 |
| [16:28] | Please remember that this is not a funeral. | 别忘了这不是葬礼 |
| [16:31] | It’s a celebration of life. | 而是生命的礼赞 |
| [16:32] | – Daddy! – Sophie! | -爸爸 -苏菲 |
| [16:33] | I can’t wait to see the slideshow! | 我等不及要看幻灯片了 |
| [16:35] | You can wait. Trust me. | 你可以等 相信我 |
| [16:38] | Can I get a womp-womp?! | 大家一起”喔喔” |
| [16:41] | Whose birthday party is this, anyway? | 这是谁的生日派对啊 |
| [16:43] | What’s wrong with your mom? | 你妈妈怎么了 |
| [16:44] | She got a colonoscopy today for pretty much no reason. | 她今天莫名其妙做了肠镜检查 |
| [16:51] | To the brim. | 倒满 |
| [16:52] | I got you. | 没问题 |
| [16:59] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [17:01] | We should…talk about what happened at the pet store. | 我们应该谈谈宠物店的事 |
| [17:06] | I’m worried. | 我很担心 |
| [17:07] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [17:08] | Raj is so bad at his job. | 拉杰太不称职了 |
| [17:15] | Okay, I had a breakdown at a pet store on Cahuenga. | 好吧 我在卡温格的宠物店失态了 |
| [17:20] | Maybe you’re right. | 也许你是对的 |
| [17:21] | I-I — I haven’t dealt with Rose’s death. | 我没去面对萝斯的死 |
| [17:24] | It was all a blur. | 一切都很模糊 |
| [17:25] | You know, she died, and I had 10-month-old twins. | 她死了 我要带10个月的双胞胎 |
| [17:29] | They were teething. | 才刚长牙 |
| [17:30] | It was scarier than the draft. | 这比征兵还可怕 |
| [17:33] | I didn’t have time to grieve. | 我没时间哀悼 |
| [17:34] | I-I was doing the best I could. | 我已经尽力了 |
| [17:38] | They were so little. | 她们当时太小了 |
| [17:40] | Douglas, what you did was amazing. | 道格拉斯 你做得很棒 |
| [17:42] | But they’re not little anymore. They’re — | 但她们不小了 她们 |
| [17:45] | They’re looking to you for guidance. | 她们需要你的指引 |
| [18:02] | It’s all I had. | 我只有这些 |
| [18:07] | Thank you all for coming. | 感谢大家赏脸 |
| [18:09] | If you are moved to speak about Pickle, | 如果有人被感动了 想聊聊小瓜 |
| [18:11] | please do so. | 请便 |
| [18:13] | I want to say something. | 我想说 |
| [18:16] | Life is crazy. | 生活太扯了 |
| [18:17] | I just got a colonoscopy! | 我刚做了肠镜检查 |
| [18:19] | And the results are in. | 结果出来了 |
| [18:21] | I got an A-plus butt. | 我屁股特别棒 |
| [18:24] | Yep. | 没错 |
| [18:24] | Will’s got a butt, too! | 威尔也有屁股 |
| [18:26] | I’m down with that. | 我觉得还行 |
| [18:28] | I guess a lot of us have butts, when you really think about it. | 其实仔细想想 大家都有屁股 |
| [18:32] | We’re not that different, after all. | 我们到头来也没什么不同 |
| [18:34] | R.I.P., Pickle. You were one hell of a cat. | 安息吧 小瓜 你真是一只好猫 |
| [18:37] | – That’s all. – Thank you, Angie. | -没了 -谢谢 安吉 |
| [18:39] | Now I’ll share. | 我来分享一下吧 |
| [18:40] | Pickle was funny, kind, | 小瓜有趣善良 |
| [18:42] | and, my God, could she nap. | 而且还能打盹儿 |
| [18:44] | The pet store says the price of a guinea pig is $25, | 宠物店说豚鼠的价格是25块 |
| [18:47] | but you can’t put a price on Pickle. | 但小瓜是无价的 |
| [18:50] | I don’t know what it all means, but I do know one thing — | 我不知道这意味着什么 但我知道一件事 |
| [18:54] | Heaven just got a little furrier and a lot cuter. | 天堂会多一点毛 并且更加可爱 |
| [18:58] | Good night, sweet princess. | 晚安 小公主 |
| [19:03] | Now, I would like to invite Pickle’s two moms, | 现在我想请小瓜两位妈妈 |
| [19:05] | Emma and Amy, up to the podium. | 艾玛和艾米上台 |
| [19:13] | Girls. | 孩子们 |
| [19:15] | Look, it turns out, you can’t replace a pet. | 其实宠物是无法替代的 |
| [19:17] | Or people. | 人也是一样 |
| [19:19] | And it’s important to remember her, | 缅怀她是很重要的 |
| [19:21] | and it’s okay to feel something. | 多愁善感一点也没事 |
| [19:23] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [19:25] | So, if you feel like you want to speak, | 如果你们想说点什么 |
| [19:28] | then you should speak. | 那就说吧 |
| [19:37] | All right. | 好 |
| [19:44] | Pickle was a guinea pig. | 小瓜是个豚鼠 |
| [19:46] | She was brown and white. | 她是棕白相间的 |
| [19:47] | She liked cardboard. | 喜欢硬纸板 |
| [19:49] | Once, she sneezed, and it sounded stupid. | 有次她打喷嚏听起来特别傻 |
| [19:51] | She would eat like this. | 她是这样吃东西的 |
| [19:55] | They’re really opening up. | 她们真的敞开心扉了 |
| [19:58] | Also, Rory, we forgive you. | 对了 罗里 我们原谅你了 |
| [20:01] | Thank you! | 谢谢 |
| [20:03] | I think Pickle would want me to dance again. | 我觉得小瓜是愿意让我继续跳舞的 |
| [20:05] | Miggy! Drop the beat! | 米基 音乐起 |
| [20:09] | – Okay, Rory! – Okay, okay. | -罗里 -走起 |
| [20:11] | I see you! I see you! | 不错哟 不错哟 |
| [20:18] | Stop. | 别动 |
| [20:24] | I want you to know more about your mom. | 我想让你们多了解一下妈妈 |
| [20:26] | Which means I need to start talking about her. | 所以我要跟你们说说她 |
| [20:28] | So…here we go. | 开始了 |
| [20:32] | I’ll tell you everything, | 我会告诉你们一切 |
| [20:33] | beginning with the first place we met. | 从我们初识的地方开始 |
| [20:38] | It was right here. | 就在这 |
| [20:39] | It was love at first sight. | 一见钟情 |
| [20:44] | – Hot Twists! – That’s so cool. | -热舞[扭扭乐] -太酷了 |
| [20:46] | Did she make pretzels? | 她会做椒盐脆饼干吗 |
| [20:48] | Not exactly. | 不会 |
| [20:50] | Was she a professional Twister player? | 她是职业扭扭乐玩家吗 |
| [20:53] | In a way. | 算是吧 |
| [20:54] | I bet that’s why we’re so good at Twister! | 怪不得我们扭扭乐这么厉害 |
| [20:58] | Tell us more about her. | 再说说她呗 |
| [21:00] | Yeah, take it away, big guy. | 尽管说 大块头 |
| [21:04] | Well, as you know, her real name was Rose… | 你们也知道 她真名叫萝斯 |
| [21:07] | but her stage name was Rosé. | 但她的艺名叫玫瑰 |