| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Who do you think he’s talking to? | 你觉得他在和谁说话 |
| [00:04] | IRS. He’s begging them to audit him. | 国税局 求他们来查账 |
| [00:06] | No, no, no, he — he’s leaving himself a voicemail. | 不不不 他在给自己留言 |
| [00:08] | “Hey, there, buddy. You’re doing a great job. | “兄弟 你干得很好 |
| [00:10] | Call me back.” | 给我回电话” |
| [00:11] | No, it’s his ex-wife. | 不 是他前妻 |
| [00:13] | Look at him: | 你看他 |
| [00:14] | that forehead crease, those clenched butt cheeks. | 皱着眉 夹着屁股 |
| [00:17] | Mia, right? | 米娅对吧 |
| [00:18] | The schmancy pants human rights lawyer? | 那个穿得花里胡哨的人权律师 |
| [00:20] | – Hello, ladies. – What’s up with Mia? | -女士们好 -米娅怎么了 |
| [00:23] | – How did you — – ‘Cause I’ve been there. | -你是怎么 -我也经历过 |
| [00:24] | And your butt cheeks. | 你的屁股蛋也泄密了 |
| [00:26] | So, what happened? | 出什么事了 |
| [00:27] | It’s not a big deal, just… | 没什么大事 只是… |
| [00:29] | Mia postponed her visit to come see Sophie. | 米娅推迟了来看苏菲的时间 |
| [00:32] | Yet again. | 不是第一次了 |
| [00:33] | It’s gotten to the point where I can’t tell Sophie | 我现在直到约定的前一天 |
| [00:34] | that her mom’s coming to visit her | 才能告诉苏菲 |
| [00:35] | until like, literally the day before | 她妈妈来看她 |
| [00:37] | because Sophie gets so bummed every time Mia flakes. | 因为每次米娅爽约苏菲都很难过 |
| [00:40] | Not that that guts me every time… | 我倒还好 |
| [00:45] | How are you processing the divorce? | 离婚后你的状态还好吗 |
| [00:47] | – Where are you on anger? – Not great. | -现在还很生气吗 -不太好 |
| [00:48] | Honestly. | 说实话 |
| [00:50] | But she and I decided it’d be best for Sophie | 但我们说好了 保持乐观 |
| [00:51] | if we always kept it really positive. | 对苏菲是最好的 |
| [00:53] | And — And honestly, I’m not angry. | 说真的 我不生气 |
| [00:55] | Honestly. Honestly. | 真的 真的 |
| [00:56] | – Honestly. – Honestly? | -真的 -真的吗 |
| [00:57] | – Honestly. – Well, this is a disaster. | -真的 -完了 |
| [00:58] | I just got stuck chaperoning the field trip | 他们非要让我监督 |
| [01:00] | to the marionette theatre. | 木偶剧院课外考察 |
| [01:02] | So fun! | 太好玩了 |
| [01:04] | I’m terrified by those puppets, | 我最怕木偶了 |
| [01:05] | with the bobbing heads, the herky-jerky limbs, | 脑袋晃来晃去 四肢东倒西歪 |
| [01:07] | the lifeless eyes. | 双眼无神 |
| [01:09] | Good God, man! | 天呐 |
| [01:10] | Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [01:12] | Jack was up all night again. | 杰克又一夜没睡 |
| [01:14] | What am I doing wrong? | 我做错了什么 |
| [01:15] | Well, what’s your bedtime routine? | 你的睡前活动是什么 |
| [01:17] | – I give him a bath… – Good. | -我给他洗澡 -很好 |
| [01:19] | …then we split a couple milkshakes, | 然后我们喝几杯奶昔 |
| [01:20] | tease that stray dog that comes by, | 逗一逗路过的流浪狗 |
| [01:22] | then he watches me dance to a strobe light, | 他看我跟着闪光灯跳舞 |
| [01:24] | and then I snuggle him all night. | 然后我整晚都抱着他 |
| [01:25] | Oh. My. God. | 我的天啊 |
| [01:28] | You still haven’t sleep trained Baby Jack? | 你还没给杰克宝宝做过睡眠训练吗 |
| [01:30] | Hold up! | 等等 |
| [01:31] | There’s another thing about babies I don’t know? | 又有我不知道的婴儿知识吗 |
| [01:33] | Look, sleep training is where | 睡眠训练就是 |
| [01:36] | you teach your child how to sleep all on their own. | 你要教宝宝学会自己睡觉 |
| [01:38] | You put them in the crib | 在宝宝醒着的时候 |
| [01:40] | while they’re still awake, and you leave, | 把他放进摇篮 然后离开 |
| [01:42] | and you do not pick that baby up, | 不管他哭得多凶 |
| [01:43] | no matter how hard they cry. | 都不许抱起来 |
| [01:45] | It’s how they learn to self-soothe. | 这样他才能学会自我舒缓 |
| [01:46] | But you won’t be soothed. | 但你不会舒缓的 |
| [01:49] | Find your thumb, baby! | 快找到你的拇指 宝贝 |
| [01:53] | You people are idiots. | 你们都是白痴 |
| [01:55] | When Emma and Amy were babies, | 艾玛和艾米小的时候 |
| [01:56] | I would just yell “Sleep!” and leave the room. | 我直接喊”睡觉去” 然后离开房间 |
| [01:59] | It’s about being tough. | 重点是要强硬 |
| [02:00] | That’s why women are no good at it. | 所以女人不擅长 |
| [02:01] | – Okay, then. – Excuse me? | -那好吧 -什么 |
| [02:03] | What did you just say? | 你刚才说什么 |
| [02:04] | What? It’s in your chromosomes. | 怎么了 这是染色体决定的 |
| [02:06] | Women are, uh, biologically unable to resist | 女性在生理上无法抵抗 |
| [02:10] | the sound of a baby’s cries. | 婴儿的哭声 |
| [02:12] | You were born to nurture. | 你们天生适合养孩子 |
| [02:14] | That’s why God gave you two pillows. | 所以上帝才给你们两个枕头 |
| [02:16] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [02:18] | Just to prove to you that, | 为了向你证明 |
| [02:20] | Gasp!, a woman can get a wittle baby down, | 震惊 女人可以哄小婴儿睡着 |
| [02:24] | I bet I can sleep train Baby Jack in one night. | 我打赌我只用一晚就能训练杰克睡觉 |
| [02:28] | Oh, now, this is getting interesting. | 有意思了 |
| [02:30] | What’s in it for me? | 我有什么好处 |
| [02:31] | If I can’t… | 如果我失败了 |
| [02:34] | I… | 我 |
| [02:35] | will chaperone the marionette theatre. | 就负责监督木偶剧院 |
| [02:37] | Oooh! Puppetry is so dope. | 木偶戏酷毙了 |
| [02:39] | – Don’t say “Dope.” – But if I can… | -不要说”酷毙了” -但如果成功了 |
| [02:42] | I get ten minutes alone in the sample closet | 我就可以在你的皮肤科办公室 |
| [02:43] | at your dermatology office. | 样品柜里单独待十分钟 |
| [02:45] | Ahh, The Closet of Youth? | 青春之柜 |
| [02:46] | Who do you think you are? Jenny Aniston? | 你以为自己是谁 珍妮·安妮斯顿 |
| [02:48] | I’ll tell you what — you’re on. | 告诉你 一言为定 |
| [02:50] | I’m gonna put that baby down so hard, he never wakes up! | 我会让他睡得很死 死到再也醒不了 |
| [02:53] | – Angie! – That’s a lot. | -安吉 -过分了 |
| [02:54] | Oh, that’s even too far for me. | 连我都觉得过分了 |
| [02:55] | Not like that! Sorry, Miggy. | 不是那个意思 抱歉 米基 |
| [02:58] | Miggy? | 米基 |
| [03:07] | Make yourself at home, homey. | 别拘束 朋友 |
| [03:08] | Are you sure you’re up for watching the big kids at my place? | 你真的要在我家照顾大孩子了吗 |
| [03:11] | I mean, you’ve never watched all of them at the same time, | 你从没有同时看护过那么多人 |
| [03:13] | and… | 而且… |
| [03:15] | …Graham can be… | 格雷厄姆有时候… |
| [03:16] | a little emotional. | 会有点情绪化 |
| [03:18] | I-I-I never know if it’s because he’s being bullied | 我都看不出来他是因为受欺负了 |
| [03:20] | or if he’s just crying over a soup commercial. | 还是因为汤广告而哭 |
| [03:22] | Listen, I know you guys think I’m some dummy | 我知道你们都觉得我是个 |
| [03:25] | who can’t even sleep train his own baby — | 无法训练自己孩子睡觉的傻子 |
| [03:26] | No, we don’t! | 我们才没有 |
| [03:28] | Fine, we do. | 好吧 确实如此 |
| [03:29] | But, hey, we also think you can’t do other things. | 但是 我们觉得其他事你也做不了 |
| [03:32] | Look, I got it. | 我能搞定 |
| [03:33] | Matter of fact, I have a whole plan | 事实上 我已经计划好了 |
| [03:35] | that’ll change the face of babysitting forever. | 这能彻底地改变保姆的局面 |
| [03:37] | Check this: | 听好了 |
| [03:39] | Pizza. And. A. Movie. | 披萨和电影 |
| [03:41] | What? | 什么 |
| [03:43] | – You cracked it. – Word. | -你搞定了 -对吧 |
| [03:45] | Oh, snap. | 糟了 |
| [03:46] | Okay, you have one minute before this baby | 在他连续大哭15个小时之前 |
| [03:48] | starts screaming for the next fifteen hours. | 你只剩下一分钟了 |
| [03:50] | Bye, Jack! | 再见 杰克 |
| [03:56] | You’re forgetting Graham. | 你把格雷厄姆忘了 |
| [03:58] | It’ll be easier to keep track of them when there’s more of them. | 孩子多了会更容易照顾 |
| [04:00] | – Makes sense. – Yeah. | -有道理 -对 |
| [04:01] | – G-Money, let’s go. – Bye, Mom. | -小G咱们走吧 -再见 妈妈 |
| [04:02] | Good luck with whatever it is you’re trying to prove. | 不管你想证明什么 祝你好运 |
| [04:06] | All right, you little goober. Let’s do this. | 好了 小花生豆 咱们开始吧 |
| [04:09] | Listen, you, | 你听好了 |
| [04:10] | you’re about to have a really bad night, okay? | 你今天晚上将会非常不好过 知道吗 |
| [04:14] | But just know whatever happens, | 但是记住 不管发生什么 |
| [04:16] | I’m right outside that door, | 我就在门外 |
| [04:18] | doing the People Magazine crossword puzzle | 做《人物》杂志上的填字游戏 |
| [04:19] | because other crosswords are too hard for me. | 因为其他填字游戏对我来说太难了 |
| [04:22] | God, you’re a weirdly cute baby. | 天呐 你怎么这么可爱 |
| [04:25] | I don’t like it. I don’t trust it. | 我不喜欢 我不相信 |
| [04:27] | I’m not gonna pick you up. | 我是绝对不会抱你的 |
| [04:31] | Night, chubster. | 晚安 小胖子 |
| [04:32] | See you in hell. | 地狱里见 |
| [04:35] | Poppy, a surprise visit and a beau blanc. Why? | 波比 突然带着好酒过来 怎么了 |
| [04:37] | One of the perks of owning a wine store | 有一家酒馆的好处就是 |
| [04:39] | is getting my friends drunk wholesale. | 可以让我的朋友醉倒一大批 |
| [04:41] | That’s so nice. That’s so — it’s so — | 实在是太好了 实在是 太 |
| [04:43] | Now’s not a good time for me. | 现在时间不太合适 |
| [04:45] | Yeah, I just, um — I’m just doing some — | 对 我正 我正在 |
| [04:47] | There’s an adult party in that room! | 那间屋子正在开成人派对 |
| [04:50] | And I know you’re not asking for specifics, | 我知道你没问我细节 |
| [04:51] | but it is very sexual and it is very safe — | 但是里面非常色情 非常安全 |
| [04:54] | Will, what is this?! | 威尔 这是什么 |
| [04:56] | My baking… | 我在烘焙 |
| [04:57] | It’s just a little banana bread! | 就是点香蕉面包 |
| [04:59] | A couple loaves. Ten, fifteen. | 也就几个 10个 15个 |
| [05:01] | – It’s like forty! – It’s exactly forty. Good eye. | -差不多有40个 -就是40个 眼神真好 |
| [05:03] | Will, please tell me that you have drugs or something in these | 威尔 你在里面藏了毒品什么的吗 |
| [05:06] | because that would be less crazy than what I’m looking at. | 那样看起来都没现在这么疯狂 |
| [05:09] | Nope. No drugs. | 不 没有毒品 |
| [05:12] | Will. | 威尔 |
| [05:13] | William. | 威廉 |
| [05:15] | – Billy. – I’m fine! | -比利 -我没事 |
| [05:16] | I’m not crazy, okay? Ju– | 我没疯 好吗 |
| [05:18] | Things… get tough with Mia | 米娅的事有点难办 |
| [05:20] | and…I do some baking. | 我 我就做点烘焙 |
| [05:22] | Look, after my divorce, I was angry. | 离婚之后 我非常生气 |
| [05:25] | I’m talking Beyoncé-circa-“Lemonade” angry. | 我说的是碧昂丝的《柠檬水》的那种生气 |
| [05:28] | – No… – Yes. | -不是吧 -就是 |
| [05:29] | But I worked through that. | 但是我熬过来了 |
| [05:31] | And working through that made me the woman that I am today — | 经历了那件事塑造了如今的我 |
| [05:34] | Beyoncé-circa- “Everything is Love”. | 碧昂丝的《万事皆爱》 |
| [05:36] | God, I wanna be Beyoncé-circa- “Everything is Love”. | 老天 我想变成碧昂丝的《万事皆爱》 |
| [05:38] | We all do. | 我们都想 |
| [05:40] | How did you do it? | 你怎么做到的 |
| [05:42] | Volleyball? | 排球 |
| [05:44] | I’m sor– Really? Volleyball? | 不好意思 真的吗 排球 |
| [05:46] | Look, I tried everything: | 我什么都试过了 |
| [05:48] | woodworking, snorkeling, | 木工 浮潜 |
| [05:49] | screaming really loud into a jug. | 冲着水壶大喊大叫 |
| [05:52] | And then, one day, | 然后 有一天 |
| [05:53] | I picked up Rory from a ribbon dancing class | 罗里上完彩带舞课 我来接他 |
| [05:55] | at the rec center, and there it was — | 在娱乐中心看到了这个 |
| [05:58] | volleyball. | 排球 |
| [06:00] | I’d found my home. My people — | 我找到了归属 我的同类 |
| [06:02] | Oh, no! | 不是吧 |
| [06:04] | Poppy? | 波比 |
| [06:06] | Co– Relax, Gerald! | 别紧张 杰拉尔德 |
| [06:07] | I’m just here to support my friend, Will. | 我只是来帮我的朋友 威尔 |
| [06:11] | Lookin’ strong, Cassidy. | 很强势嘛 卡西迪 |
| [06:12] | Are you sure it’s okay we’re here? | 我们在这真的合适吗 |
| [06:15] | It’s a legal grey area. | 这是个合法的灰色地带 |
| [06:16] | But let’s get that anger out! | 咱们把怒气都释放出来吧 |
| [06:20] | Pizza! | 披萨 |
| [06:21] | No one saw it coming, | 谁都预料不到 |
| [06:22] | but the game has changed, y’all. | 但是游戏已变 |
| [06:25] | – But we always have — – Just let him have this. | -但是我们一直 -就让他弄吧 |
| [06:30] | What’s up, Insta-Graham? | 怎么了 图享-格雷厄姆 |
| [06:32] | Something happened at school. | 学校里出了点事 |
| [06:37] | Sometimes life is so beautiful. | 有时候 生活真是太美好了 |
| [06:44] | Everybody’s been calling me “Butterfly Baby.” | 大伙就开始叫我”蝴蝶宝宝” |
| [06:47] | Even Bunny Ears, and she’s my girlfriend. | 连兔耳朵也一样 她还是我的女友 |
| [06:50] | That’s cold-blooded. | 太无情了 |
| [06:51] | I keep telling you: just move. | 我一直都在跟你说 放下吧 |
| [06:54] | Zillow says Boise’s hot. | 房产软件上说博弈西很热 |
| [06:55] | I don’t make sense in Idaho. | 我不明白爱达荷是什么情况 |
| [06:57] | Okay, guys, guys, let’s just eat our slices | 好了 孩子们 咱们把吃的都吃完 |
| [07:00] | so we can fire up Child’s Play. | 我们就能看《鬼娃回魂》了 |
| [07:01] | I haven’t seen it, but it’s about a kid and his doll. | 我没看过 但这是关于一个小孩和他玩偶的 |
| [07:04] | Sounds sweet. | 听起来不错 |
| [07:06] | We’re not doing that tonight. | 今晚不能干这个 |
| [07:08] | We invited Bunny Ears over for a party | 我们邀请了兔耳朵过来开派对 |
| [07:10] | so Graham seems cool again. | 让格雷厄姆继续变酷 |
| [07:12] | – You did what?! – What did you do?! | -你们干了什么 -你们干啥了 |
| [07:13] | Miggy, you’re basically our age. | 米基 你和我们也算同龄 |
| [07:15] | We like you, but we don’t respect you. | 我们喜欢你 但是不尊重你 |
| [07:18] | Enjoy the party, kiddo. | 享受派对吧 孩咂 |
| [07:24] | I left something on the stove. | 我忘了炉子上还有东西 |
| [07:31] | Please, please stop crying, baby! | 拜托 快别哭了 宝贝 |
| [07:33] | Being sad at night is just part of the human experience. | 晚上难过只是人生的一部分 |
| [07:36] | Get used to it. | 你要习惯 |
| [07:39] | Maybe I should just — | 或许我应该 |
| [07:39] | Nope! No, I’m not. | 不 不 不行 |
| [07:41] | Yes, I am. Yes, I am. | 好了 我来了 |
| [07:44] | Ohhhh, yes. | 好了好了 |
| [07:46] | That’s the good stuff. | 这样就好了 |
| [07:49] | Looks like Mommy Angie’s Postmates is here… | 看来安吉妈妈的邮递员来了 |
| [07:56] | I knew it! | 我就知道 |
| [07:58] | Oh, guess what? | 你猜怎么着 |
| [07:59] | I heard that the marionette show is circus-themed! | 我听说木偶的主题是马戏团 |
| [08:03] | You know what that means? | 知道那意味着什么吗 |
| [08:05] | Puppet clowns! | 小丑木偶 |
| [08:12] | Miggy’s place is even worse than I thought. | 米基这屋比我想得还糟糕 |
| [08:14] | How do people live like this? | 怎么能有人住在这里 |
| [08:16] | No! The bet was for one night, not one try! | 不 我们赌的是一晚上 不是尝试一次 |
| [08:19] | I get another shot! | 我还有机会 |
| [08:20] | Oh, just give it up now. | 你就放弃吧 |
| [08:21] | It’s nothing to be ashamed about. | 没什么丢人的 |
| [08:22] | Women are just softer creatures. | 女人就是比较软弱 |
| [08:24] | No! | 不 |
| [08:25] | I can do this! | 我可以的 |
| [08:26] | T-That was just my warm-up. | 刚才我只是在热身 |
| [08:28] | I-I’m out of practice. | 我有点生疏了 |
| [08:29] | Here. | 给你 |
| [08:31] | I’m gonna go outside, get hyped up, | 我要出去充个电 |
| [08:32] | try to catch a squirrel with my bare hands! | 徒手抓只松鼠 |
| [08:38] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [08:39] | I’ve…I’ve forgotten your name. | 我忘记你的名字了 |
| [08:43] | I’m Dr. Douglas Fogerty. | 我是道格拉斯·福格蒂医生 |
| [08:46] | All right, Will, so, you’re just gonna hit the ball | 威尔 你边打球 |
| [08:48] | – and talk to me about your ex, okay? – Okay. | -边告诉我你前任的事 好吗 -好 |
| [08:51] | How often does she see Sophie? | 她多久来看苏菲一次 |
| [08:54] | Well, Mia’s doing very important work! | 米娅的工作很重要 |
| [08:56] | So, it’s not her fault! | 所以不是她的错 |
| [08:58] | But last year, | 但去年 |
| [08:59] | she didn’t see Sophie for six months. | 她有半年没来看苏菲 |
| [09:02] | Was that hard for you? | 那对你来说很艰难吗 |
| [09:04] | A little. | 有点 |
| [09:05] | Spike the ball. | 扣球吧 |
| [09:07] | Go ahead. You got this. | 来 你能行 |
| [09:10] | What else about Mia? | 还有什么 |
| [09:12] | But then, sometimes, she’ll show up without warning. | 但有时候 她不打招呼就来了 |
| [09:14] | Like once, Sophie and I had to cancel | 比如有次 苏菲和我被迫取消了 |
| [09:17] | our wild and crazy spring break trip to Colonial Williamsburg. | 春假安排 狂野威廉斯堡殖民地之旅 |
| [09:19] | And I bet you planned it for a long time? | 你们肯定计划了很久吧 |
| [09:21] | I thought of it when she was three. | 苏菲三岁起我就想带她去了 |
| [09:23] | – Oh, and then last year… – What happened?! | -还有去年 -发生了什么 |
| [09:25] | …she switched up the holiday schedule at the last minute! | 她在临行前改变了假期安排 |
| [09:27] | Come on, I bet you just loved that! | 天哪 你肯定气疯了 |
| [09:29] | Do you know what it was like, | 你知道独自一人 |
| [09:29] | eating a 12-pound turkey by myself?! | 吃下12磅的火鸡是什么感受吗 |
| [09:32] | It was extremely sad, Poppy! | 简直悲伤至极 波比 |
| [09:34] | Extremely sad! | 悲伤至极 |
| [09:36] | – Yes! – Okay! | -对了 -好 |
| [09:37] | Yes! Okay! | 好 |
| [09:38] | I get it now! Let’s do this! | 我懂了 现在打球吧 |
| [09:39] | How we do this, shirts versus skins?! | 怎么玩 一队穿衣一队光膀子吗 |
| [09:40] | No, no, no, no, no, no! It’s — It’s — It’s day one. | 不不不 这才第一天 |
| [09:42] | Can’t stop now, Poppy. | 已经无法阻止我了 波比 |
| [09:44] | You have any idea how long it’s been | 你不知道我有多久 |
| [09:45] | since I’ve had this big a release? | 没好好发泄一下了 |
| [09:46] | – Hey. Will Cooper. – Yeah, Will, everybody knows | -我是威尔·库珀 -威尔 所有人都知道 |
| [09:47] | how long it’s been since you’ve had a big release. | 你有多久没好好发泄了[射精] |
| [09:49] | But take it easy, okay? | 但慢慢来 好吗 |
| [09:52] | It’s me, Willy C. | 是我 威尔·C |
| [09:53] | Hey. Will Cooper. How are ya? | 我是威尔·库珀 你好吗 |
| [09:55] | How’s it going? Will Cooper. | 最近好吗 我是威尔·库珀 |
| [09:56] | Hey, what’s going on, guys? How are you? | 大伙儿都还好吗 你好吗 |
| [09:57] | Let’s have a good, clean game, okay? | 让我们打一场公平的比赛吧 好吗 |
| [09:58] | All right, dude. | 好的 兄弟 |
| [09:59] | All right, don’t take it easy on me just ’cause I’m new. | 别因为我是新人就对我放水 |
| [10:00] | Will, your shirt’s on backwards. | 威尔 你的队服穿反了 |
| [10:02] | Let’s volley! | 打排球吧 |
| [10:13] | Dude, you heard me promise your mom I could handle babysitting. | 老兄 你听到我答应你妈了 我能做好保姆 |
| [10:16] | You gotta tell those girls to go home. | 你得让那些姑娘回家 |
| [10:18] | Dude, no! | 别啊 老兄 |
| [10:19] | If I cancel the party, | 如果我取消派对 |
| [10:20] | I’ll seem even less cool than I do right now. | 我会显得比现在还逊 |
| [10:23] | Can I be honest with you? | 我能和你说实话吗 |
| [10:25] | Kid to kid? | 孩子之间 |
| [10:26] | I am not a k– | 我不是 |
| [10:28] | Sure, go ahead. | 行 说吧 |
| [10:30] | I thought things would be different | 我以为有了女友后 |
| [10:32] | when I got a girlfriend, | 事情就会不一样 |
| [10:34] | but I-I’m still the boy who runs and hides | 但我还是那个一看到 |
| [10:37] | every time the school janitor | 学校清洁工从地下室出来 |
| [10:38] | comes up from the basement. | 就逃跑躲起来的男孩 |
| [10:41] | – Miggy? – Yeah? | -米基 -嗯 |
| [10:42] | You’re the coolest guy I know. | 你是我认识的最酷的人 |
| [10:44] | Oh, it was just pizza. | 只不过是披萨 |
| [10:45] | Can you help me be a little bit more like you? | 你能让我变得像你一点吗 |
| [10:49] | You know, get that swag? | 有那种酷酷的范儿 |
| [10:54] | How much swag we talking about? | 你想要多有范儿 |
| [10:56] | How much swag can you give me? | 你能让我变得多有范儿 |
| [10:57] | How much swag can you handle? | 你能变得多有范儿 |
| [10:58] | How much swag do girls like? | 姑娘们喜欢多有范儿的 |
| [10:59] | Oh, the girls like all the swag. | 姑娘们喜欢各种范儿 |
| [11:01] | Then I need all the swag, Miggy! | 那我就要变成最有范儿的 米基 |
| [11:03] | I got you, Graham! | 看我的 格雷厄姆 |
| [11:07] | 一路顺风 格雷厄姆 祝你在爱达荷好运 | |
| [11:12] | I recently read a group of rabbits is called a warren. | 我最近读到一群兔子叫做兔子窝 |
| [11:17] | Tough crowd. | 真难取悦 |
| [11:18] | Yo. Bunny Ears. | 兔耳朵 |
| [11:23] | Cool. | 酷 |
| [11:24] | What’s the juice box sitch? | 果汁盒什么情况 |
| [11:29] | You tell me, shorty. | 你说呢 妹子 |
| [11:37] | I just went full raccoon on the neighbor’s trash. | 我刚去翻邻居家的垃圾堆了 |
| [11:39] | Better wash my hands before I hold Baby Jack — | 抱杰克宝宝前先洗个手 |
| [11:43] | wait, where is he? | 等等 他在哪 |
| [11:44] | He’s in his room. | 在他房间里 |
| [11:45] | Asleep. | 睡着了 |
| [11:47] | No, you didn’t. | 不是吧 |
| [11:48] | I’ve outsmarted yet another baby. | 我又智取了一个宝宝 |
| [11:50] | But — I — How did you — | 但是 我 你怎么 |
| [11:51] | I-I was only gone for a few minutes! | 我才走了几分钟而已 |
| [11:53] | You really just went in there, said “Sleep” | 你真的只是走进去 说了一声”睡觉去” |
| [11:55] | and then walked out? | 然后就走出来了吗 |
| [11:57] | I told you. Men have cold hearts. | 跟你说了 男人有一颗冷酷的心 |
| [11:59] | We’re terrible people. | 我们不是善类 |
| [12:00] | That’s why we’re very good at war, | 所以我们非常擅长发动战争 |
| [12:02] | advertising, and sleep training. | 打广告 还有睡觉训练 |
| [12:03] | L-Look, don’t beat yourself up here. | 别自责了 |
| [12:06] | You’re a softie, | 你是软蛋 |
| [12:07] | just like that sweet kid of yours. | 跟你那可爱的孩子一个样 |
| [12:14] | What did you just say? | 你说什么 |
| [12:15] | I-I — No, you know what I mean. | 我 不 你懂我的意思 |
| [12:17] | Y-Y-You and Graham are… | 你和格雷厄姆都是 |
| [12:19] | sof-softies. | 软蛋 |
| [12:21] | Look, I-it’s not his fault. | 这不怪他 |
| [12:23] | He-He’s being raised by a lady, | 他是女人抚养长大的 |
| [12:24] | he doesn’t know anything else, was my…point. | 没有别的榜样 所以嘛 |
| [12:28] | This just got real. | 这是要动真格的了 |
| [12:30] | A-A-Alright, l-listen. | 好吧 听着 |
| [12:31] | Calm down, okay? | 冷静 好吗 |
| [12:32] | I shouldn’t have brought the kid into it! | 我不该扯到孩子身上 |
| [12:33] | Have fun with the marionettes! | 祝你木偶剧场玩得开心 |
| [12:36] | No, wait — I-it’s over. | 不 等下 已经结束了 |
| [12:37] | I w-won. The kid’s asleep. | 我赢了 孩子睡着了 |
| [12:39] | Angie?! | 安吉 |
| [12:40] | Angie?! You don’t wake a sleeping baby! | 安吉 不能吵醒一个睡着的婴儿 |
| [12:42] | That’s one thing everyone on the Earth knows. | 地球人都知道 |
| [12:44] | I. Got. This. | 交给我 |
| [12:46] | Okay, you know what? Fine. | 好吧 算了 行 |
| [12:48] | You’re on your own. | 你自己来 |
| [12:49] | Oh, no, Baby Jack! | 不 杰克宝宝 |
| [12:50] | I accidently woke you up! | 我不小心把你吵醒了 |
| [12:56] | I didn’t realize you were on a strict spike diet. | 我都不知道你在严格遵照峰值饮食 |
| [12:59] | ‘Cause you just ate my spike! | 我这记扣球吃饱了吗 |
| [13:00] | All right, hey, hey, Willy C. | 好了 好了 威利·C |
| [13:03] | Hey, maybe one game — | 或许一场比赛 |
| [13:05] | is enough, huh? | 就已经够了 |
| [13:06] | No way, José! | 不行 侯塞 |
| [13:08] | – I haven’t felt this good in years. – Okay. | -我几年都没有这么爽过了 -好吧 |
| [13:10] | – Look, my calves are popping. – Poppin’. | -看 我的小腿肌肉都爆出来了 -爆了 |
| [13:12] | You sure you don’t want to come in? | 你确定不想加入我们吗 |
| [13:13] | Oh, no, no, no, no. I’m done with all that. | 不 不 不 我已经金盆洗手了 |
| [13:15] | I am done with rage. | 我已经没有怒火了 |
| [13:17] | Yeah, I-I just think of Ron as a medium-good friend | 我现在只把罗恩当成给一个关系中等 |
| [13:19] | who has a striking resemblance to Rory. | 和罗里长得很像的朋友 |
| [13:21] | God, I wish I was like you and Ron! | 天 真希望我能像你和罗恩一样 |
| [13:23] | If my ex got Sophie a phone, I’d be furious. | 如果我前妻给苏菲买手机 我会大发雷霆 |
| [13:27] | Uh, w-w-what are you — what are you talking about? | 你在 你在说什么呢 |
| [13:29] | You didn’t know? | 你不知道吗 |
| [13:31] | I-I’m sorry. Sophie’s been talking about it all week. | 很抱歉 这事苏菲说了一个星期了 |
| [13:34] | Ron bought Rory a phone. | 罗恩给罗里买了个手机 |
| [13:35] | In fact, Rory just texted me my Zillow Zestimate, | 事实上 罗里刚给我发了我的房产估值 |
| [13:38] | and I’m up 3%! | 涨了3% |
| [13:41] | Ron got Rory a phone?! | 罗恩给罗里买了个手机 |
| [13:42] | I’m so sorry. I thought you knew. | 很抱歉 我以为你知道的 |
| [13:44] | Is there anything I can do? Are you okay? | 我能为你做些什么吗 你没事吧 |
| [13:45] | Nope, but I’m gonna be. Ball! | 有事 但我会好的 球给我 |
| [14:27] | Out! | 出界 |
| [14:29] | – In! That was in! – What?! Are you blind?! | -界内 那球在界内 -什么 你瞎吗 |
| [14:31] | We can’t go down this road again, Poppy. | 我们不能再走老路了 波比 |
| [14:32] | – But we are! – You’re already on the path, Gerald! | -但已经走了 -你已经上路了 杰拉尔德 |
| [14:34] | – Okay, let’s just get back in the game, okay? – Call it in! | -回去打球吧 好吗 -判界内 |
| [14:36] | Hey! Hey, Gerald! | 杰拉尔德 |
| [14:37] | What’s black and white | 谁在穿黑白衣服 |
| [14:38] | and doesn’t know how to ref volleyball? | 还不懂怎么做排球裁判 |
| [14:40] | – Gerald! – Gerald! | -杰拉尔德 -杰拉尔德 |
| [14:41] | Please, this is a volunteer thing. | 拜托 我只是义务来做裁判 |
| [14:42] | Get down from that chair! | 下来 |
| [14:43] | If you don’t get — then we’ll bring you down! | 你自己不下来 我们就把你弄下来 |
| [14:44] | No, don’t. | 别这样 |
| [14:45] | Then we’ll bring you down, Gerald, huh?! | 那我们就把你弄下来 杰拉尔德 |
| [14:47] | You disrespect us, we disrespect you! | 你不尊重我们 我们也不尊重你 |
| [14:48] | – Yes! – Take that! You’re gonna eat net, Gerald! | -对 -接招吧 吃球网吧 杰拉尔德 |
| [14:50] | Take that! | 接招吧 |
| [14:51] | Eat rope! | 吃绳去 |
| [14:53] | Enough with the crying. | 别哭了 |
| [14:55] | Hey! Sleep, baby! | 睡觉去 宝贝 |
| [14:59] | Wait. | 等下 |
| [15:01] | Let’s just see how Uncle Douglas did it. | 我们来看看道格拉斯伯伯是怎么办到的 |
| [15:07] | *Danke schoen* | *非常感谢* |
| [15:09] | – *Darling, danke schoen* – He picked him up?! | -*亲爱的 非常感谢* -他把他抱了起来 |
| [15:13] | – *Thank you…* – That. Monster. | -*谢谢你…* -那个禽兽 |
| [15:21] | Dude. | 兄弟 |
| [15:22] | Dude. | 兄弟 |
| [15:24] | I think it’s safe to say | 可以说 |
| [15:25] | that this night got away from me. | 今晚不属于我 |
| [15:28] | You having fun at least? | 至少你挺开心吧 |
| [15:29] | No, not really. Who am I kidding? | 不 并没有 开什么玩笑呢 |
| [15:31] | I don’t have the head shape to pull off this hat. | 我的头型撑不起这顶帽子 |
| [15:35] | I guess when it comes down to it, | 到了最后 |
| [15:37] | the two of us can only be the dudes that we are. | 我们俩还是只能做自己 |
| [15:40] | Right. | 对 |
| [15:41] | You’re a terrible babysitter… | 你是个糟糕的保姆 |
| [15:44] | …and I’m a complicated young man. | 而我是个难琢磨的年轻人 |
| [15:47] | And if people don’t dig what you’re selling, | 如果大家不了解你想表达什么 |
| [15:50] | they’re not worth having around anyway. You know what I mean? | 就不够格在你身边 懂我的意思吗 |
| [15:52] | Yeah. | 懂 |
| [15:55] | Graham, what is this? | 格雷厄姆 这是什么 |
| [15:58] | Please tell me it isn’t yours? | 请告诉我这不是你的 |
| [16:04] | Yes, it belongs to me. | 是我的 |
| [16:06] | Graham. No. You’re going to have to live abroad. | 格雷厄姆 不 你这样只能出国了 |
| [16:08] | It’s okay, Rory. | 没事的 罗里 |
| [16:11] | The lion is mine, and his name is Mr. Roar, | 小狮子是我的 他叫吼吼先生 |
| [16:15] | and he hunts and eats bad dreams | 他能捕猎噩梦 |
| [16:17] | and yes, I do find butterflies beautiful! | 对 我是觉得蝴蝶很美 |
| [16:20] | And if that makes me a Butterfly Baby, fine, | 如果因此你们要叫我蝴蝶宝宝 行 |
| [16:24] | but this Butterfly Baby wants you out of his house! | 但本蝴蝶宝宝要你们滚出他家 |
| [16:29] | It’s over! | 结束了 |
| [16:31] | I. Have. Never. | 我没被这么对待过 |
| [16:35] | Come on, Bunnies. | 走吧 小兔子们 |
| [16:37] | I’m proud of you, Graham Master Flash. | 我为你自豪 闪电大师格雷厄姆 |
| [16:41] | Wait! Those girls can’t leave on their own! | 等等 那些女孩不能自己离开 |
| [16:43] | They’re seven! | 她们才七岁 |
| [16:45] | A fifth wife is a special person, and I — | 第五任妻子 她很特别 |
| [16:48] | You cheater! | 你个老骗子 |
| [16:51] | Angie?! | 安吉 |
| [16:52] | Hiya, Douglas! | 道格拉斯 |
| [16:53] | I saw you pick him up on the monitor. | 我在监控上看到你抱起了他 |
| [16:56] | You…lied. | 你说谎了 |
| [16:58] | Is anything about you real? | 你说的话有一句是真的吗 |
| [17:01] | Is this even steak? | 这是牛排吗 |
| [17:04] | Oh, boy, is it ever! | 天啊 还真是 |
| [17:06] | M-May we speak privately, please? | 我们私下谈可以吗 |
| [17:08] | Here. | 给 |
| [17:10] | If he cries, | 如果他开始哭 |
| [17:11] | don’t be afraid to do skin to skin. | 不要害怕和他有肌肤接触 |
| [17:16] | You picked him up! | 你把他抱起来了 |
| [17:19] | I just yell “Sleep,” my ass! | 我只是大吼一声”睡觉去” 鬼才信 |
| [17:22] | You’re just like me! A big, old sack of goo! | 你和我一样 就是个守旧的家伙 |
| [17:24] | O-Okay! Fine! Fine! | 行行行 |
| [17:26] | Why did you go out of your way | 你为什么要费心 |
| [17:27] | to make me feel bad about my parenting skills? | 让我觉得自己在育儿方面很失败 |
| [17:29] | Because I didn’t want you to know that I’m weak, too. | 因为我不想让你知道我也很软弱 |
| [17:33] | I’m soft as summer butter. | 我软弱得不行 |
| [17:35] | I wanted to be tough on the girls, but I was outnumbered. | 本想对我的姑娘严厉一点 但她们人多 |
| [17:37] | Do you understand? I-I — | 你理解吗 |
| [17:40] | One time… | 有一次 |
| [17:42] | …I breastfed them. | 我给她们喂奶了 |
| [17:49] | Neither one of us | 我们两个人都没有 |
| [17:50] | are as tough as we want people to think. | 我们希望别人认为的那么坚强 |
| [17:53] | But I can keep the secret if you can. | 但是我能保守这个秘密 只要你不开口 |
| [17:57] | Then I have a confession to make. | 我想坦白一件事 |
| [17:58] | You’re attracted to me. I know. It’s the height. | 你对我有好感 我了解 因为我高呗 |
| [18:01] | It’s — It’s very primal. | 身高挺重要的 |
| [18:02] | I think you’re right about Graham. | 我觉得你对格雷厄姆的看法没错 |
| [18:05] | I think I messed him up. | 我没教育好他 |
| [18:06] | – Oh, come on. – No, it’s true. | -别这么说 -这是事实 |
| [18:08] | I was young and alone and tired, | 我当时很年轻 孤身一人 身心疲惫 |
| [18:12] | and I did all the things that you’re not supposed to do. | 我把你认为不应该做的事都做了 |
| [18:14] | I picked him up. I snuggled him. And now look at him. | 我紧紧地抱着他 看看现在 |
| [18:16] | He’s… a 4-foot-tall mush ball. | 他只是个4英尺高的小软蛋 |
| [18:21] | Your kid is amazing and sensitive, | 你的孩子很棒 也很敏感 |
| [18:24] | and makes me a card every time I get a kidney stone. | 每次我得了肾结石 他都会寄贺卡给我 |
| [18:27] | Plus, you wanna know the truth? | 你想听实话吗 |
| [18:29] | We would like to think that there is some direct line | 我们更愿相信自己的行为和孩子的表现 |
| [18:32] | between what we do and how our kids turn out. | 有着直接的联系 |
| [18:35] | But you know what? It’s a crapshoot. | 但你知道吗 这是有风险的 |
| [18:38] | We do what we can, and who they end up becoming… | 我们尽力而为 而孩子最终变成什么样 |
| [18:42] | it’s up to them. | 是看他们自己的 |
| [18:43] | Wait. So, you’re telling me that I can do | 所以你的意思是 我作为家长 |
| [18:46] | whatever I want as a parent and it doesn’t matter whatsoever? | 可以随心所欲 反正到最后都无关紧要 |
| [18:48] | Not exactly the takeaway I was hoping for, | 和我的意思有点偏差 |
| [18:51] | but whatever makes you feel better. | 但只要你能感觉好点 那就这样 |
| [18:53] | Well, in that case, | 既然这样 |
| [18:55] | I’m gonna need you to show me something. | 我需要你来向我展示一下 |
| [18:58] | *Danke schoen* | *非常感谢* |
| [19:00] | *Darling, danke schoen* | *亲爱的 非常感谢* |
| [19:02] | O-O-Okay, deeper and lower. | 好了 把嗓音放低一点 |
| [19:04] | *Danke schoen* | *非常感谢* |
| [19:06] | – *Darling, danke schoen* – Oh, you’re hopeless. | -*亲爱的 非常感谢* -你没救了 |
| [19:09] | *Thank you for all the joy and pain* | *感谢你带来的苦与乐* |
| [19:14] | Sway. Try not to bob. | 左右晃 不要上下晃 |
| [19:17] | I think I’m gonna have to write Gerald an apology letter. | 我得给杰拉尔德写封道歉信 |
| [19:19] | Good idea… but take your time. | 好主意 不过不用着急 |
| [19:21] | He’s…not gonna be able to read for a few weeks. | 他要等几周才能收到 |
| [19:26] | Okay, just, uh, wait, wait, wait. | 先等等 |
| [19:27] | I just need a second. | 我需要点时间 |
| [19:30] | – This is the toughest part. – Yeah. | -这是最艰难的一步了 -没错 |
| [19:32] | You have to let the anger out, | 你必须把愤怒释放出来 |
| [19:34] | – but you can’t let your kid see any of it. – Yeah. | -但又不能让孩子看出来 -是的 |
| [19:37] | I mean, I thought I was past all this. | 我还以为这些都过去了 |
| [19:39] | Hey, man, co-parenting is tough business. | 共同养育孩子是挺辛苦的 |
| [19:42] | Normally, when you break up with someone, it’s over, | 一般来说 分开之后就完事了 |
| [19:44] | but we will be connected to Ron and Mia | 但是因为罗恩和米娅 在往后余生 |
| [19:48] | for the rest of our lives. | 我们还是要和他们联系 |
| [19:49] | I know. | 是啊 |
| [19:50] | But…I don’t hate him completely. | 但我不完全恨他 |
| [19:52] | There were some good things about the marriage. | 这桩婚姻还是有美好的地方的 |
| [19:55] | Mom! Dad! | 妈 爸 |
| [19:57] | Hi, buddy! | 小家伙 |
| [19:59] | I missed you! | 想你了 |
| [20:01] | – Did you have fun? – Yeah. | -玩得开心吗 -开心 |
| [20:11] | I cried at school today. | 我今天在学校哭了 |
| [20:15] | Oh, buddy, I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 小家伙 |
| [20:17] | Then Bunny Ears teased me. | 接着兔耳朵就开始嘲笑我 |
| [20:20] | So I dumped her. | 所以我就跟她分手了 |
| [20:22] | I don’t need that noise. | 我不需要她在我身边吵 |
| [20:26] | Daaaaaaamn! | 哎呦喂 |
| [20:29] | Nice work. | 干得漂亮 |
| [20:30] | *Danke schoen* | *非常感谢* |
| [20:33] | *Darling, danke schoen* | *亲爱的 非常感谢* |
| [20:37] | *Thank you for all the joy and pain* | *感谢你带来的苦与乐* |
| [20:53] | …The serve. | 发球 |
| [20:56] | And he’s just, “Pshhhhh!” | 然后他就被球砸了 |
| [20:58] | And I said, “Don’t mess with me | 接着我说”别惹我 |
| [20:59] | ’cause I’m the best volleyball player of all time!” | 我可是有史以来最好的排球运动员” |
| [21:11] | I also threw a rager tonight! | 我今晚还办了个疯狂派对 |
| [21:15] | What?! | 什么 |
| [21:16] | Does anyone here like puppets?! | 在座的有人喜欢木偶吗 |
| [21:19] | Not all at once, kids. Geez! | 别吓我啊 天哪 |
| [21:22] | “Don’t come near me with that. I’m allergic.” | “别拿着那个靠近我 我过敏” |
| [21:26] | “Bring on the elephants!” | “把大象带出来” |