时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:01] | Welcome to Will Cooper’s 2018 Spook-tacular Spook-A-Thon. | 欢迎来到威尔·库珀2018年万圣节派对 |
[00:06] | 1-2-3…lights! | 123 灯光 |
[00:10] | Only, imagine it’s nighttime. | 想象一下这是晚上 |
[00:11] | Okay, I should be somewhere else. | 好了 我还有事 |
[00:12] | – I cancelled a patient for this. – You said this was an emergency. | -我取消了一个病人预约来的 -你说很紧急 |
[00:14] | Hey, guys, there’s only eight more hours | 各位 距鬼怪大派对 |
[00:15] | until my spook-tacular bash begins, | 只剩8小时了 |
[00:17] | so there’s still time for improvement. | 还有时间改进 |
[00:19] | But let’s keep it in the world of tweaks, okay? No big ideas. | 但就稍微调整一下 不要大改 |
[00:21] | Okay, as much as I’d love to talk lighting tweaks, | 虽然我很想说说怎么调整灯光 |
[00:23] | I have to get to the office. | 但我要去上班了 |
[00:25] | With a bag of furry pipe cleaners? | 那你还拿袋毛茸茸的烟斗通条 |
[00:26] | I haven’t finished sewing Graham’s costume yet. | 我还没缝好格雷厄姆的服饰 |
[00:28] | He’s really picky. | 他很挑 |
[00:30] | He has to wear something terrifying | 他得穿很恐怖的服饰 |
[00:31] | or else he’s too scared to go trick-or-treating, | 不然他就不敢去参加”不给糖就捣蛋” |
[00:33] | so now I’m stuck sewing | 所以我要在办公桌下 |
[00:35] | a giant black widow spider under my desk. | 偷偷帮他缝巨型黑寡妇 |
[00:37] | Why can’t he be scared of normal things like dying alone? | 他为什么不害怕正常的东西 比如孤独终老 |
[00:40] | – Yes. – That’s a great story. | -嗯 -真是个好故事 |
[00:43] | – It’s not her. – Ooh. Who’s her? | -不是她 -她是谁 |
[00:45] | April 16th, | 4月16日 |
[00:46] | Giuseppe’s Italian, I was waiting for a cab… | 朱塞佩意大利酒店 我在等的士 |
[00:49] | April 16th, Giuseppe’s Italian, I was waiting for a cab. | 4月16日 朱塞佩意大利酒店 我在等的士 |
[00:54] | Move it or lose it! | 让开 不然你完了 |
[00:55] | What are you — | 你干吗 |
[01:00] | That’s the way the cookie crumbles. | 没办法咯 |
[01:05] | Ohhh, Daddy likes. | 爸爸就好这口 |
[01:07] | I ran after that car for eight blocks like a dog, | 我像狗一样追了8个街区 |
[01:10] | but she got away. | 但她还是跑了 |
[01:12] | Big Red was gone. | 红发佳人跑了 |
[01:13] | Douglas, that was beautiful — | 道格拉斯 真是太美 |
[01:15] | – So stupid. – Chauvinistic dumbass. | -太蠢了 -沙文蠢货 |
[01:17] | You know what? I’m a rich doctor. | 我是有钱的医生 |
[01:18] | I need none of you. | 不需要你们 |
[01:25] | Man, my first Halloween as a dad! | 我成为爸爸之后的第一个万圣节诶 |
[01:28] | It’s crazy, this time last year, | 太扯了 去年这时候 |
[01:30] | the gummies had just kicked in, | 药劲刚到 |
[01:31] | and I threw up in a corn maze. | 我在玉米迷宫吐了 |
[01:32] | Dude, there’s so much fun stuff to do. | 哥们 很有多有趣的可以玩 |
[01:34] | Sophie and I, we always dress up in a daddy-daughter costume | 我和苏菲会穿父女装 |
[01:36] | and then we try to out-scare each other. | 然后互吓彼此 |
[01:38] | – It’s the best. – I am hyped. | -超棒的 -我好激动 |
[01:40] | I promised my baby mama, Zara, | 我像我宝宝的妈妈佐拉保证了 |
[01:42] | I’d send a pic of Jack in his costume. | 我会给她发一张杰克穿着万圣节装扮的照片 |
[01:44] | She’s gonna love it. | 她肯定会喜欢的 |
[01:46] | I should probably go buy that, huh? | 我应该去买一件 对吧 |
[01:48] | Dad? | 爸爸 |
[01:51] | Hey, Miggy. Have you seen my — | 米基 你看到我 |
[01:58] | I know that wasn’t real, | 很假 |
[01:59] | but I appreciate the effort. | 但你起码努力了 |
[02:01] | Who’s ready for their daddy-daughter costume? | 有谁准备好穿父女装了吗 |
[02:05] | ‘Tis I, politician, freemason, | 我是个政客 互济会会员 |
[02:08] | and humorist, Benjamin Franklin. | 幽默家 本杰明·富兰克林 |
[02:10] | And you look just about the same size as my kite! | 你看起来和我风筝差不多大 |
[02:18] | Poppy! | 波比 |
[02:20] | Are you a street walker? | 你是站街的吗 |
[02:21] | All right, save it, Quaker Oats guy. | 行了 桂格麦片的人物 |
[02:26] | Rory, we said keep it simple. | 罗里 我们说要简单一点 |
[02:28] | Every second we’re explaining our costumes | 我们多一秒解释装扮 |
[02:31] | is a second we’re not getting candy. | 就少一秒来拿糖果了 |
[02:33] | Duh, “Pretty Woman.” I’m Edward Lewis. | 《麻雀变凤凰》啊 我是爱德华·路易斯 |
[02:37] | My mom is Julia Roberts’ friend | 我妈是茱莉娅·罗伯茨的朋友 |
[02:38] | and story engine, Kit De Luca. | 故事发起者 基特·卢卡 |
[02:40] | Do the line. | 说台词 |
[02:42] | “We say who, we say when, we say how much.” | 我们来决定人物 时间和价格 |
[02:48] | Seriously? Nothing? | 不是吧 没反应 |
[02:51] | Okay, okay, smart people will get this. | 好吧 聪明人会明白的 |
[02:53] | So, girls, what are your costumes? | 姑娘们 你们装扮的是谁 |
[02:56] | I guess you can’t recognize Simon and Theodore without Alvin. | 可能没有艾尔文 你看不出来西蒙和西奥多吧 |
[03:00] | Well, then it looks like you’ll be trick-or-treating | 看来你们要穿着别人不认识的服饰 |
[03:02] | in unrecognizable costumes. | 去要糖果了 |
[03:04] | You knew this gambit would fail. | 你们知道这招不会奏效的 |
[03:06] | Are you kidding me? | 逗我吗 |
[03:07] | Douglas, your girls wanted to do a group costume, | 道格拉斯 你孩子想弄一个三人装扮 |
[03:09] | and you said no? | 而你拒绝了 |
[03:10] | I believe I said, “Get out of the car. You’re walking home,” | 我说的应该是 下车 你们走回家吧 |
[03:13] | But the no was implied. | 但也包含了拒绝 |
[03:14] | You don’t get to say “No.” | 你无权拒绝 |
[03:16] | You think I wanted to be an early’ 90s prostitute? | 你以为我想当90年代初的妓女吗 |
[03:18] | – I own a feminist bookstore. – It’s not the same. | -我有个女权主义的书店诶 -这不一样 |
[03:20] | A mom in a Halloween costume with her kids looks cute, | 女人和孩子一起穿万圣节装扮很可爱 |
[03:22] | but no self-respecting man dresses up in a child’s costume. | 但有自尊的男人是不可能穿小孩装扮的 |
[03:26] | No? What about Will? | 是吗 那威尔呢 |
[03:31] | Trick-or-treat. | 不给糖就捣蛋 |
[03:31] | I said “self-respecting.” | 我说了”有自尊的” |
[03:32] | You know, the way I see it, | 在我看来 |
[03:34] | Will is secure enough in his manhood to wear a costume, | 威尔穿着那套装扮也是个爷们 |
[03:37] | while big Dr. Douglas isn’t. | 道格拉斯医生可没有哦 |
[03:39] | So, girls, who’s the bigger man this Halloween — | 姑娘们 今年万圣节谁更爷们儿 |
[03:41] | Will or your dad? | 威尔还是你们爸爸 |
[03:42] | – Will, easy. – Cooper by a mile. | -威尔 简单 -库珀稳赢 |
[03:47] | Give me the damn sweater. | 把衣服给我 |
[03:55] | Ang! | 安吉 |
[03:56] | The spook-tacular bash has boo-gun! | 鬼怪大派对开始了 |
[03:59] | Cool. Listen. | 酷 听着 |
[04:01] | I have to work late tonight. | 我今天要加班了 |
[04:02] | I-I just heard Rick yell, “Buckle up, bitches!” | 我才听里克喊的”都抓紧点 废物” |
[04:05] | What? Just tell your boss | 什么 跟你老板说 |
[04:06] | you need to go trick-or-treating with Graham. | 你要和格雷厄姆一起去要糖果就行啦 |
[04:08] | No. What? I can’t tell him that I have to leave for mom stuff. | 不行 我不能因为当妈的这点事请假 |
[04:11] | Then he’ll start treating me differently. | 到时候他对我的态度就不一样了 |
[04:12] | You’re afraid you’re gonna be treated like a mom? | 你怕他像对一个妈妈那样对你 |
[04:14] | I don’t understand. | 我搞不懂了 |
[04:15] | Of course you don’t. You’re a man. | 你当然不懂了 你是个男的 |
[04:17] | Then, why do I always feel so cold? | 为什么我总觉得这么冷 |
[04:19] | What’s up, Big Dubs? | 好啊 大W |
[04:20] | Hey, Lil G! Just talking to your mom here. | 小G 正和你妈妈打电话呢 |
[04:23] | God, she’s a wonderful woman. | 天呐 她真是太棒了 |
[04:26] | Can’t wait to see the costume, Mom! | 等不及要看装扮了 妈妈 |
[04:31] | Tell Graham I’m on my way. | 告诉格雷厄姆我这就来 |
[04:33] | God, I was really hoping this would be the one year | 我还想着 终于能有一年 |
[04:36] | I don’t have to put on a costume behind the wheel. | 不用在车里换装扮了 |
[04:38] | See you soon. | 一会见 |
[04:40] | Your mom’s pretty great. | 你妈妈很棒 |
[04:41] | You’re telling me. | 你说呢 |
[04:43] | She’s my rock. | 她是我的支柱 |
[04:46] | Hey, Rick? Hi. | 里克 |
[04:49] | Is it all right if I…go? | 我可以走吗 |
[04:51] | I have a… personal matter. | 我有点 私事 |
[04:53] | Yeah. Go. | 行啊 去吧 |
[04:55] | Take care of your personal matter. | 解决好你的私事 |
[04:57] | I’ll just give all your case work to somebody | 我把你的案子交给一个 |
[04:58] | who takes their career a little more seriously. | 更拿自己职业生涯当回事的人 |
[05:04] | My best friend was murdered. | 我最好的朋友被杀了 |
[05:06] | Will. | 威尔 |
[05:08] | So, yeah, I got to catch a flight. | 我得去赶飞机了 |
[05:09] | It’s a destination funeral. | 是目的地葬礼 |
[05:12] | God, Will. | 天呐 威尔 |
[05:13] | Why’d you have to look in that dumpster? | 你为什么非要看那个垃圾桶呢 |
[05:18] | What dumpster? | 什么垃圾桶 |
[05:22] | Hey, Dad. | 爸爸 |
[05:23] | Why, hello, little girl. | 怎么了 小姑娘 |
[05:25] | Where’s your costume? | 你的装扮呢 |
[05:26] | I have a new friend from school coming. | 有个学校新朋友要来 |
[05:28] | Carol’s a second grader and not real big on Halloween. | 卡罗尔上二年级了 而且没那么喜欢万圣节 |
[05:31] | So could we maybe… dial it back? | 我们能不能简单点 |
[05:35] | Dial it back. | 简单点 |
[05:38] | Yeah, yeah. | 可以 当然 |
[05:39] | I, I-I-I-I think we could do that. | 应该可以 |
[05:41] | I-I get it. I see what’s happening. | 懂了 我知道是怎么回事 |
[05:42] | You grew up overnight, and now you hang out with older girls, | 你突然就长大了 开始和大姑娘玩了 |
[05:44] | and I went from being your best friend to an old man | 我从你最好的朋友 变成住在你房子里 |
[05:46] | who lives in your house who you wish would just die! | 你希望立刻挂掉的老男人了 |
[05:48] | Dad, is this the start of a thing? | 爸爸 你要开始闹了吗 |
[05:49] | No. | 不 |
[05:50] | No, I’m just processing. | 不 我是在消化 |
[05:54] | I’ll definitely dial it back, | 当然可以简单点 |
[05:55] | take it from a ten to a nine and a half — | 从10调到9.5 |
[05:57] | – Five? – Why don’t you just make it one?! | -5 -你怎么不说1呢 |
[06:00] | I’m totally good. I’m fine. | 我好得很 我没事 |
[06:03] | I’m fine. | 我没事 |
[06:04] | Okay. | 好 |
[06:07] | God, these shoes are killing me. | 老天 这双鞋要命了 |
[06:09] | If I was a real prostitute, I’d be home on my computer. | 如果我真是妓女 那我宁愿回家直播 |
[06:12] | This is so humiliating. | 太丢人了 |
[06:13] | It’s the low point of my life. | 简直是我人生的最低谷 |
[06:15] | I look like the world’s biggest tool. | 我看起来就像是世上最大的工具 |
[06:17] | No, you look like a great dad. Now come on. | 不 你看起来是个好父亲 快走吧 |
[06:19] | You gotta stand together for the costumes to make sense. | 你们站一块 让别人看出来你们扮的是什么 |
[06:21] | Yeah, heaven forbid the costumes don’t make sense. | 看不出来简直天理难容 |
[06:25] | Trick or treat! | 不给糖就捣蛋 |
[06:31] | Oh, my God. That’s Big Red. | 我的天 这是红发佳人 |
[06:33] | Okay, kids, chop chop. I gotta tinkle. | 孩子们快点 我着急尿尿 |
[06:36] | Hello. You’re stunning. | 你好 你真迷人 |
[06:39] | – I’m — – A giant chipmunk in a onesie! | -我 -穿连体服的巨型花栗鼠 |
[06:42] | That’s adorable. | 太可爱了 |
[06:44] | Wiggle your nose, chipmunk. | 动动鼻子 花栗鼠 |
[06:46] | Wiggle your nose. | 动动鼻子 |
[06:48] | Oh, that’s good. | 不错 |
[06:50] | That’s good. | 真不错 |
[06:53] | Well, she got the costume, so you can… | 她看懂你们的服装了 所以你 |
[06:55] | feel good about that. | 应该好受点 |
[06:56] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[06:57] | Let’s go, guys. | 走吧 |
[06:58] | Hey, Graham. | 格雷厄姆 |
[07:00] | I’m really sorry that I’m late, | 很抱歉 我来晚了 |
[07:02] | but I’m really excited to go trick-or-treating. | 但是我等不及开始”不给糖就捣蛋”了 |
[07:05] | How do you feel? | 你感觉怎么样 |
[07:06] | Honestly? I’m hanging on by a thread. | 说实话吗 我紧张得要死 |
[07:09] | You got this. Okay? | 你可以的 |
[07:10] | Especially from inside the super terrifying | 特别是扮成超级恐怖的 |
[07:13] | black widow… | 黑寡妇… |
[07:16] | body? | 身体 |
[07:17] | Oh, no. | 完了 |
[07:18] | I left the legs at work. | 我把腿落在单位了 |
[07:20] | We have to get them! | 你一定要去拿 |
[07:21] | I can’t go back. | 我不能回去 |
[07:22] | I already told my boss that Will got mur– | 我已经和老板说威尔 |
[07:25] | it’s complicated, work stuff. | 被繁杂工作缠身了 |
[07:27] | A no-leg spider isn’t scary! | 没腿的蜘蛛才不吓人呢 |
[07:29] | It can’t walk! | 它不会走 |
[07:30] | It’s a goner! | 它都要死了 |
[07:31] | Oh, no, no. No. That’s even scarier. | 不不不 这样更吓人 |
[07:34] | ‘Cause he’s got nothing left to lose, right? | 因为它只能背水一战了 |
[07:36] | No? Okay. | 不行吗 好吧 |
[07:37] | I-I-I’m just gonna throw together a new costume. | 我去给你找一套新的装扮 |
[07:40] | I can do that. | 我能做到 |
[07:41] | Mom’s got this. | 交给妈妈吧 |
[07:46] | You made it. | 你来了 |
[07:47] | So, you told your boss the truth? | 和你老板说实话了吗 |
[07:48] | Isn’t honesty the best — | 诚实是最好的… |
[07:49] | Whatever. I lied my ass off. | 随便吧 我撒了个大谎 |
[07:51] | Now I need to find Graham a new costume. | 现在我要给格雷厄姆找一身新装扮 |
[07:53] | What are you doing? Why are you taking down your decorations? | 你在干什么 为什么要拆掉装饰 |
[07:55] | Sophie’s second grade friend, Carol, is coming over, | 苏菲的二年级好友卡罗尔要来 |
[07:57] | so I’m toning it down. | 所以我要低调点 |
[07:59] | Angie, I’m not ready to be the parent of a tween. | 安吉 我还没准备好照顾少女 |
[08:01] | That is a world of nail polish and scrunchies | 到处都会是指甲油 发圈 |
[08:03] | and starter bras, | 和少女文胸 |
[08:05] | and how am I gonna talk to her about any of that stuff? | 我怎么和她说这些东西呢 |
[08:06] | Well, step 1 is being able to say the word “Bra” out loud. | 首先你要大声说出”文胸”这个词 |
[08:10] | And anyway, it’s fine. | 不会有事的 |
[08:12] | You’ll figure out how to talk to her. | 你会搞清楚怎么和她说话的 |
[08:13] | Counterpoint: no, it’s not, and no, I won’t. | 反对 会有事的 我做不到 |
[08:17] | But if Sophie needs me to dial it down, | 但是如果苏菲要我简单点 |
[08:19] | I can handle that. | 我可以应付 |
[08:21] | For my baby girl, I can handle anything. | 为了宝贝女儿 我什么都能应付 |
[08:25] | ‘Sup. Sophie here? | 苏菲在吗 |
[08:27] | I’m Carol. | 我是卡罗尔 |
[08:30] | Carol’s a man. | 卡罗尔是男的 |
[08:37] | Graham can be a skeleton with spatula hands who takes… | 格雷厄姆可以扮成用铲子当手的骷髅 拿着 |
[08:41] | multivitamins for ladies over 60. | 60岁以上女性复合维生素 |
[08:43] | Why do you have these? | 你怎么会有这个 |
[08:44] | Carol is a guy. | 卡罗尔是男生 |
[08:46] | Sophie is hanging out with older boys. | 苏菲和比她大的男生一起玩 |
[08:48] | And you know how I like everyone, right? | 你知道我见谁都喜欢吧 |
[08:50] | Well, I do not like this kid, | 我不喜欢这个孩子 |
[08:51] | and I am pretty sure he does not like me. | 而且我很肯定他不喜欢我 |
[08:53] | Me, I’m just kind of over the whole Halloween thing. | 我对万圣节已经没兴趣了 |
[08:58] | Don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti. | 别误会 我不是反对 |
[09:00] | But you want something scary? Read the news. | 想要恐怖氛围吗 看新闻吧 |
[09:04] | Yuk it up. | 笑吧 |
[09:05] | This is the kind of complacency | 就是这种自鸣得意 |
[09:06] | that got us where we are. | 让我们落到现在的地步 |
[09:08] | Have you tried being nice? | 你有没有态度好一点 |
[09:09] | Of course I tried being nice. | 我的态度当然好了 |
[09:11] | I’m Will. I take off my shoes anywhere there’s carpet. | 我是威尔 我看到地毯就脱鞋 |
[09:14] | I gave this kid my all! | 我对他使出了浑身解数 |
[09:16] | Can I get you anything, Carol? | 想吃点什么吗 卡罗尔 |
[09:17] | Are you a candy man? | 你喜欢吃糖吗 |
[09:19] | Dad, Carol prefers soft cheese. | 爸 卡罗尔喜欢吃软质奶酪 |
[09:21] | Anything French with a tang. | 味道浓烈的法式奶酪都可以 |
[09:22] | Okay. | 好的 |
[09:24] | I will get my seven-year-old daughter and her male companion | 我会为七岁的女儿和她的男性朋友 |
[09:27] | some cheese. | 拿点干酪 |
[09:28] | I just — I’m not ready for this, okay? What do I do? | 我没准备好应付这个 怎么办 |
[09:30] | You calm down, okay? | 冷静点 |
[09:32] | Because you can’t stop Sophie from growing up. | 你不能阻止苏菲长大 |
[09:34] | She’s going to, no matter what. | 她早晚会长大的 |
[09:36] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, | 如果你不介意 |
[09:37] | I really need to find a new scary costume | 我急需一套吓人的新装扮 |
[09:39] | because I left the spider legs at work and I lied | 因为我把蜘蛛腿落在单位 还撒谎 |
[09:40] | and told my boss that my best friend, Will, got murdered. | 骗老板说我最好的朋友威尔被杀了 |
[09:42] | I’m your best friend? | 我是你最好的朋友 |
[09:44] | And I got murdered? | 还被杀了 |
[09:45] | Look, I’m sure you have given this a ton of thought, | 你肯定经过了深思熟虑 |
[09:47] | but is it not much simpler to just go back to work | 但是直接回去告诉老板 |
[09:49] | and tell your boss that your son needs you? | 你儿子需要你不是更简单吗 |
[09:52] | You don’t get it. | 你不明白 |
[09:52] | If I play the “Mom card,” | 如果我以当妈为借口 |
[09:54] | suddenly I’m this sad, single lady | 就会突然变成悲惨的单身女性 |
[09:56] | who’s gonna need to come in late and take time off | 需要经常迟到和请假 |
[09:58] | and then start asking | 然后开始问 |
[10:00] | if my kid can come in and sell cookies. | 我家小孩能不能进来卖点饼干 |
[10:02] | “Don’t feel pressured to buy some.” | 不要有压力 随便买点吧 |
[10:03] | Oh, but they will feel pressured to buy some. | 买的人心理压力可是大大的 |
[10:05] | I always buy some. I buy a lot. | 我经常买 买了很多 |
[10:07] | And I’m scared to lose my job, | 我也害怕丢了工作 |
[10:08] | but I’m scared if I don’t lose my job | 但是我担心 如果我保住工作 |
[10:11] | then I’m not gonna be there for Graham. | 就不能陪在格雷厄姆身边了 |
[10:13] | Angie, c’mon, you’re doing great, okay? | 安吉 你做得很好 |
[10:16] | Certainly much better than me. | 比我做得好多了 |
[10:17] | I got murdered, remember? | 我被谋杀了 记得吗 |
[10:19] | I think I just found Graham’s costume. | 我好像找到了格雷厄姆的服饰 |
[10:22] | And it is terrifying. | 而且很可怕 |
[10:24] | Yes, it’s a shower cap. | 你手里拿的是浴帽 |
[10:25] | Sometimes I don’t have time to shampoo. | 有的时候我都来不及抹洗发水 |
[10:28] | Guys, I got a problem. | 伙计们 我有麻烦了 |
[10:31] | Yeah, um, everything was sold out, | 所有东西都卖完了 |
[10:32] | so I had to mix and match. | 所以我只能混搭了 |
[10:34] | Okay, so it’s Orphan Annie on top… | 上半身是《孤儿安妮》里 |
[10:36] | and dog body on the bottom? | 下半身穿的是狗狗 |
[10:38] | No good? | 不好看 |
[10:38] | I spent 110 bucks! | 我花了110大洋呢 |
[10:42] | Hey, Zara. | 佐拉 |
[10:44] | Oh, you told all your friends? | 你和所有的朋友都说过了 |
[10:45] | And they’re super excited to see our adorable baby. | 他们等不及看我们可爱的宝宝了 |
[10:48] | That’s great. Very great. That’s, uh — | 非常好 那个 |
[10:51] | Sorry. Got to go. | 抱歉 我得挂了 |
[10:52] | Will’s on fire again, so gotta put that out. | 威尔身上又着火了 要给他灭火 |
[10:55] | “Again”? | 又 |
[10:57] | – Move it, Rory! – We’re cleaning up! | -让开点 罗里 -我们在要糖呢 |
[10:59] | Okay, we get it. You’re upset. | 好了 知道了 你很不开心 |
[11:00] | No,I am not upset. | 我没不开心 |
[11:02] | I’m — I’m more like… | 我更 |
[11:06] | That! I’m more that! | 这样 我更这样 |
[11:08] | Why are you losing your mind over this? She’s just a woman. | 发这么大的火干什么 只是个女人罢了 |
[11:10] | She’s not just a woman. | 她不仅仅是个女人 |
[11:12] | She’s my white whale! | 我超喜欢她的 |
[11:14] | So she saw you in a costume. Big deal. | 不就是看到你的装扮吗 多大事啊 |
[11:16] | Women aren’t so hung up on appearances. | 女人没有那么在乎外表 |
[11:18] | And plus… | 再说 |
[11:19] | wasn’t Alvin the one that got the most ass? | 艾尔文看上去不是更吸引人吗 |
[11:21] | Let me tell you something. | 我告诉你 |
[11:22] | Women are exactly as shallow as men. | 女人和男人一样肤浅 |
[11:25] | And a first impression like that I-I-is a stain | 第一印象就像污渍一样 |
[11:28] | that’ll never wash off. | 永远都洗不掉了 |
[11:30] | Once a weasel in a muumuu, always a weasel in a muumuu. | 一眼定终身啊 |
[11:33] | So, once women get their minds made up on one thing, | 所以说 一旦女人对某件事下好定论了 |
[11:36] | it’s burned there for all time, never to change. | 就永远都不会有改观 |
[11:37] | Okay, see, now you’re talking sense. | 这就对了嘛 |
[11:39] | Where was that an hour ago? | 早干嘛去了 |
[11:41] | Alvinnnn! | 艾尔文 |
[11:42] | Cram it, Bill! | 给我闭嘴 比尔 |
[11:44] | Douglas, can we go? | 道格拉斯 我们能走了吗 |
[11:52] | Cute baby. | 宝宝真可爱 |
[11:53] | Great costume. | 装扮真棒 |
[11:55] | Any chance maybe I could borrow it? | 能不能借我用用 |
[11:57] | No. | 没门 |
[11:58] | Well, then your baby can’t have this costume. | 那你宝宝就穿不上这套了 |
[12:01] | What’s up? | 怎么样 |
[12:02] | Okay, get ready because you will be scaring people | 准备好 等会要出去把别人 |
[12:04] | to the verge of a pants-pee as… | 吓到尿裤子 |
[12:09] | The great, floating, | 一座漂在太平洋上 |
[12:11] | Texas-size garbage patch of the Pacific! | 得州大小的塑料垃圾岛 |
[12:15] | Okay, so… | 好吧 |
[12:16] | there’s this plastic trash island floating in the Pacific. | 在太平洋上漂浮着一座塑料垃圾岛 |
[12:20] | It’s the size of Texas, | 有得州那么大 |
[12:22] | and a lot of people might not be aware of it, | 很多人可能没有注意到 |
[12:23] | so I have printed out this HuffPo article | 我把《赫芬顿邮报》上的文章打印了 |
[12:25] | you can carry around and let people read. | 你可以带着它 给别人看 |
[12:27] | What do you think? | 你觉得怎么样 |
[12:31] | It’s a great effort, Mom. | 你真是下了不少功夫 妈妈 |
[12:33] | You get used to the smell pretty quick. | 很快就能习惯这味道了 |
[12:35] | But… | 但是 |
[12:36] | I-I don’t really need to go trick-or-treating. | 我没必要去参加”不给糖就捣蛋” |
[12:40] | I’m sorry I asked you to go back to work. | 很抱歉我让你回班上拿 |
[12:43] | I know it’s complicated. | 我知道这很复杂 |
[12:45] | Your job comes first. | 你的工作最重要 |
[12:50] | No, it doesn’t. | 不是这样的 |
[12:53] | You strap that spider body on. | 你去把蜘蛛身体穿好 |
[12:55] | I’m coming back with legs. | 我去给你拿蜘蛛腿 |
[13:03] | I’m a trash island. | 我是一座垃圾岛 |
[13:05] | No one, | 没有人 |
[13:06] | not one person got my costume. | 没有一个人知道我的装扮 |
[13:09] | Someone called me Benson. | 有人居然叫我本森 |
[13:12] | Wondering where I’ve been? | 想知道我去哪了吗 |
[13:13] | No. | 没兴趣 |
[13:14] | I knew you were gone, and it was nice. | 我只知道你走了 感觉不错 |
[13:17] | You’re a hard man not to punch. | 你很难让人不想打你 |
[13:19] | I was out making a friend. | 我出去找朋友了 |
[13:20] | You think women are too shallow to see past a costume? | 你以为女人很肤浅 只看外表不看本质 |
[13:23] | Well, you’re wrong. | 你错了 |
[13:24] | And to help me prove it… | 为证明我的观点 |
[13:28] | – Hi, there. – Uh, hello. | -你好啊 -你好 |
[13:30] | This is Dr. Douglas Fogerty. | 这位是道格拉斯·福格蒂医生 |
[13:32] | Botox king of Beverly Hills | 比弗利山的肉毒杆菌之王 |
[13:34] | and world’s most handsome caveman. | 世界上最帅气的山顶洞人 |
[13:37] | It’s a pleasure to meet you. | 幸会幸会 |
[13:39] | Again. | 再次见到你 |
[13:40] | Likewise. | 彼此彼此 |
[13:44] | – Scram. – Okay. | -你可以走了 -好 |
[13:47] | You’re radiant. | 你真是光彩照人 |
[13:50] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
[13:52] | There he is — Carol the cheese man. | 你在这啊 芝士王子卡罗尔 |
[13:55] | Per your request, six varieties | 六种松软 浓郁的 |
[13:56] | of soft, tangy, French cheeses. | 法式芝士 任君挑选 |
[13:59] | I prefer my cheese after a meal. | 我喜欢饭后吃芝士 |
[14:02] | Happy Halloween, Carol. | 万圣节快乐 卡罗尔 |
[14:04] | Just ran into your buddy. | 刚碰上你的小伙伴了 |
[14:06] | Seemed intent, as always, on bringing down the mood. | 与往常一样 看起来他是有意破坏气氛 |
[14:09] | He’s going home. | 他要回家了 |
[14:10] | So good news, you can go nuts | 那你就可以疯狂起来 |
[14:13] | and do all the crazy Halloween stuff you love. | 做那些你在万圣节爱做的事啦 |
[14:15] | Wait a second. | 等等 |
[14:16] | Why is he leaving? | 他为什么要走 |
[14:18] | He said he wanted to go because… | 他说他想走 |
[14:20] | he thinks I’m a baby. | 是因为我太幼稚 |
[14:22] | Dad, why do you think he doesn’t like me? | 爸爸 他为什么不喜欢我 |
[14:27] | I honestly don’t know, my love. | 我真的不知道 宝贝 |
[14:31] | Probably ’cause he’s crazy. | 也许他疯了 |
[14:33] | I wish I had a better answer, but sometimes | 我希望自己有更好的答案 但有时 |
[14:36] | the people you like don’t like you back, | 你喜欢的人不一定喜欢你 |
[14:39] | and it hurts. | 这让人伤心 |
[14:41] | But that kid is nuts, | 但那孩子绝对是傻子 |
[14:43] | ’cause you’re perfect. | 因为你完美无瑕 |
[14:46] | Plus, he’s got a dumb name. And I don’t want that for you. | 而且他的名字太蠢 我可不希望你跟他姓 |
[14:52] | I’m sorry we missed Halloween. | 抱歉我们错过了万圣节 |
[14:54] | We didn’t even get to do a big scare. | 我们都没来得及去吓唬别人 |
[14:57] | It’s okay. | 没关系 |
[14:58] | I’ll just go to bed. | 我去睡觉好了 |
[14:59] | Or… | 或者 |
[15:01] | you help me dial this Halloween back up to eleven | 你帮我把万圣节等级调回11 |
[15:04] | and we show Carol who the real baby is. | 让卡罗尔见识下谁才是真幼稚 |
[15:06] | What do you say you and I | 不如你和我一起 |
[15:08] | go scare the living crap out of that kid? | 把那家伙吓得哭爹喊娘吧 |
[15:10] | Think we could make him cry? | 你觉得我们能吓哭他吗 |
[15:12] | I’ll be disappointed if we don’t. | 他不哭我可不开心哦 |
[15:20] | Hey, how’s it going, Mary? You having fun? | 玛丽 怎么样 玩得开心吗 |
[15:29] | Nah, Baer left for private practice a long time ago. | 不 贝尔很早就跳槽去私人事务所了 |
[15:32] | We just haven’t changed the signs yet. | 我们还没换牌子而已 |
[15:33] | That’s quite surprising. | 很意外啊 |
[15:34] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
[15:36] | Shouldn’t you be on a flight? | 你不是在飞机上吗 |
[15:38] | But you’re here dressed as a cat? | 为什么装扮成猫过来了 |
[15:40] | Am I? | 有吗 |
[15:44] | That’s weird. | 真奇怪 |
[15:46] | Actually, you know what? | 其实吧 |
[15:50] | There is no flight. | 我今天没赶飞机 |
[15:52] | And I’m dressed like a cat because it’s Halloween. | 我装扮成猫是因为今天是万圣节 |
[15:56] | And I don’t talk about him much, but… | 虽然不怎么提起 但是 |
[15:59] | I have a seven-year-old. | 我有个七岁的儿子 |
[16:00] | And he’s scared of everything — | 他什么都怕 |
[16:02] | fake plants, large shoes, | 仿真植物 大号鞋子 |
[16:04] | empty shopping carts, adults with braces. | 空购物车 戴牙套的大人 |
[16:06] | Sometimes he needs me. | 有时候他需要我 |
[16:08] | Sometimes, when you think I’m in the copy room, | 有时候 你以为我在复印室 |
[16:10] | I’m actually FaceTiming him from a bathroom stall. | 其实我是躲在厕所隔间和他视频通话 |
[16:13] | Most of the time, I get by just fine. | 多数时候 我都能平安度过 |
[16:16] | Other times, I need to be in two places at once, | 但有时我也分身乏术 |
[16:20] | and I lie about my friend Will getting murdered. | 我朋友威尔被杀的事是假的 |
[16:23] | Look, if you need to fire me… | 如果你要炒我 |
[16:27] | go ahead. | 就炒吧 |
[16:29] | But my son’s waiting for me. | 但我的儿子在等着我 |
[16:32] | And I left him in a bathroom wearing a garbage poncho. | 我把他一个人留在了厕所 还穿着垃圾袋斗篷 |
[16:36] | Wait, so there was nothing in the dumpster? | 等等 所以垃圾桶什么也没有吗 |
[16:45] | Okay, that’s his window. | 好 他就在里面 |
[16:51] | You know, last year, | 去年 |
[16:53] | you would’ve been too young to do something like this, | 你还太小 不能做这些事 |
[16:55] | so I guess getting older’s not all bad. | 我猜长大也不完全是坏事 |
[16:59] | Let’s light him up! | 我们去吓唬他吧 |
[17:01] | Okay, guys. Everyone set? | 大伙都准备好了吗 |
[17:02] | Good to go. | 准备就绪 |
[17:04] | Locked and loaded. | 准备开火 |
[17:07] | Hold on. Are you filling those squirt guns with fake blood? | 等等 你们往水枪里灌假血吗 |
[17:11] | Sure. Fake. | 是吧 假的 |
[17:14] | Smoke team, check. | 烟雾小队 就绪 |
[17:15] | Let’s roll out. | 出发吧 |
[17:27] | How you feeling, Spider-Graham? | 你感觉如何 蜘蛛格雷厄姆 |
[17:29] | I can’t feel my legs. | 我感觉不到我的腿 |
[17:31] | Well, four of them are fake. | 其中四条是假的 |
[17:32] | Oh, thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
[17:34] | Listen, Graham. | 格雷厄姆 |
[17:36] | I know you’re scared right now. | 我知道你现在很害怕 |
[17:38] | But, you know, sometimes when we face our fears, | 但有时直面心中的恐惧 |
[17:41] | turns out they’re not really that scary. | 会发现其实并没有那么吓人 |
[17:43] | Like when I confronted my fear of turning 27. | 就像我直面自己要27岁时的恐惧 |
[17:46] | Then 28. | 然后28岁 |
[17:47] | Then 29. | 然后29岁 |
[17:49] | And…so on. | 等等 |
[17:50] | And how tonight, I told my boss that I had to be here | 还有今晚 我跟老板说我必须得来 |
[17:53] | because you are my whole world. | 因为你是我的全世界 |
[17:58] | So, if you’re not ready, we can go home. | 如果你没准备好 我们可以回家 |
[18:03] | We’re not going anywhere. | 我们哪也不去 |
[18:05] | Will? Hoist me. | 威尔 把我吊起来 |
[18:12] | But topping out at 75 miles per hour, | 但猎豹最快时速高达75英里 |
[18:15] | the cheetah is far and away the fastest land mammal. | 无疑是最快的陆地生物 |
[18:18] | My goodness, you’re fascinating. | 天呐 你真是太迷人了 |
[18:20] | All that knowledge and you know Dennis Franz. | 学富五车 还知道丹尼斯·弗兰茨 |
[18:22] | I lasered his ears. | 我给他的耳朵做过激光 |
[18:25] | You are exquisite. | 你真优雅 |
[18:27] | Dine with me. Friday. | 周五跟我一起用餐吧 |
[18:30] | I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
[18:32] | You’re handsome, charming. | 你很帅 很有魅力 |
[18:34] | Ordinarily, so my type. | 通常来说 正是我的菜 |
[18:36] | But in terms of “Honk-honk, hubba-hubba,” | 但在从”圈圈叉叉”那方面来说 |
[18:37] | I’m just not there. | 就是提不起我的性趣 |
[18:39] | Something’s throwing me, I can’t put my finger on it. | 有什么困扰到我了 我说不上来 |
[18:42] | May I hazard a guess? | 能恕我斗胆猜测一下吗 |
[18:45] | You still see me as a chipmunk. | 你眼中我还是花栗鼠的形象 |
[18:47] | Yes, that’s it. | 对 就是这样 |
[18:49] | Now I can’t get it out of my head. | 现在这形象在我脑中挥之不去了 |
[18:51] | I mean, if I were to date an animal, | 如果我要选一种动物约会 |
[18:52] | it’d be like a deer or something. | 我会选鹿或什么 |
[18:54] | I understand. | 理解 |
[18:56] | I blame my children. | 这怪我女儿 |
[19:00] | Excuse me one sec. | 失陪片刻 |
[19:02] | Hold up. You’re gonna walk away from this man | 等下 就因为他为自己的孩子打扮成花栗鼠 |
[19:03] | because he dressed like a chipmunk for his kids? | 你就要离开这个男人了 |
[19:06] | I’m not a great person. | 我不是什么好人 |
[19:09] | Oh, well. | 好吧 |
[19:11] | Big mistake! Big! Huge! | 你犯大错了 大错特错 |
[19:13] | And I know, Kit doesn’t say that in the movie, | 我知道电影里基特没这么说 |
[19:14] | but she does tonight! | 但今晚她说了 |
[19:18] | What? It’s not about you. It’s the principle. | 怎么了 跟你没关系 这是原则问题 |
[19:50] | I’m a big, scary spider! | 我是个超大的 吓人的蜘蛛 |
[19:53] | And there’s a Texas trash island in the ocean! | 大海里有个得州垃圾岛 |
[20:02] | – Way to go, Graham! – Yes! | -漂亮 格雷厄姆 -太棒了 |
[20:05] | Mom! Dad! Help! | 妈妈 爸爸 救命 |
[20:08] | We should go. | 我们该溜了 |
[20:10] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[20:14] | What’s wrong with you?! | 你们什么毛病 |
[20:15] | You’re sneaking into my yard to scare an eight-year-old boy? | 溜进我的院子吓唬一个八岁的男孩 |
[20:18] | To be fair, he started it. | 讲道理 是他挑起来的 |
[20:21] | You’re adults! | 你们是成年人了 |
[20:22] | You came here for some stupid prank, | 还来这搞白痴恶作剧 |
[20:24] | roping in a bunch of children, | 把一群孩子用绳子吊起来 |
[20:26] | one of whom you’ve dressed up as Edward Lewis. | 其中一个还打扮得跟爱德华·路易斯一样 |
[20:29] | She got it. | 她看出来了 |
[20:31] | Someone got it. | 总算有人看出来了 |
[20:33] | Look, ma’am… | 女士 |
[20:42] | Why is candy so much sweeter when it’s stolen from children? | 为什么从孩子那偷来的糖特别甜 |
[20:45] | Ooh, a text from my boss. | 我老板发来一条短信 |
[20:46] | I have to get back and finish the briefs. | 我得回去写完简报 |
[20:48] | Good news, I’m not fired. | 好消息是 我没被炒鱿鱼 |
[20:49] | Stupendous news! | 特大新闻 |
[20:51] | I have to go back to Paris, where I’ll become | 我得回巴黎去了 |
[20:53] | the first United States ambassador to France. | 去当首名美国驻法国大使 |
[20:56] | I know Halloween’s done, | 我知道万圣节已经结束了 |
[20:57] | but honestly, this guy did everything. | 但说实话 这个人什么都经历过了 |
[20:59] | So big. So red. | 红发佳人啊 |
[21:01] | And so outta her damn mind. | 她简直有病 |
[21:03] | If she can’t recognize | 如果不能 |
[21:03] | something great when she sees it, her loss. | 慧眼识英雄 那是她的损失 |
[21:05] | Oh, so now you think I’m great? Interesting. | 怎么 你现在觉得我是英雄了 有意思 |
[21:07] | I was talking about the costume. | 我说的是万圣节装扮 |
[21:08] | And FYI, that was so not a natural red. | 再说了 那绝逼不是天然红发 |
[21:10] | – No, no, don’t — don’t do that. – It wasn’t. | -别 别 别这样 -就不是 |
[21:12] | Oh, she loved it! Zara loved Jack’s costume! | 她喜欢 佐拉喜欢杰克的装扮 |
[21:14] | Man, I knew she would! | 我就知道她会喜欢的 |
[21:15] | Oh, Miggy, that’s fantastic! | 米基 真是太棒了 |
[21:18] | Miggy’s gonna dance now! | 米基要跳舞了 |
[21:19] | – Yeah, he is! – Go, Miggy! | -他要跳舞了 -扭起来 米基 |
[21:20] | Go, Miggy! | 扭起来 米基 |