| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | 6:30 in the morning. | 才早上六点半 |
| [00:03] | You’ve already found a way to irritate me. | 你就找到惹我生气的办法了 |
| [00:06] | Give Miggy a break, Douglas. | 别怼米基了 道格拉斯 |
| [00:08] | He has to be on his phone, that’s where all the ladies are! | 他必须得看手机 妹子都在上面 |
| [00:10] | Right. Right. | 没错 |
| [00:11] | This phone’s blowing up with ladies. | 妹子狂轰乱炸的 |
| [00:13] | My DMs be poppin’. | 我的DM各种响 |
| [00:14] | That means his direct messages | 就是说很多女的 |
| [00:16] | are filling up with lady inquiries. | 都私信问他 |
| [00:17] | Miggy’s teaching me all the lingo. | 米基教我各种俏皮话 |
| [00:20] | Pink flyer! | 粉传单 |
| [00:21] | Oh, God. I hope it’s not lice again. | 天哪 希望这次不是虱子 |
| [00:23] | No kidding. I can’t keep shaving Emma and Amy’s heads. | 说真的 我不能一直给艾玛和艾米剃头了 |
| [00:26] | It’s flu season. One kid’s already got it. | 流感季到了 一个孩子已经得了 |
| [00:28] | I bet it’s Topher. That kid licks everything. | 我打赌是托弗 他啥都舔 |
| [00:31] | Thank God Sophie already got her flu shot. | 还好苏菲打过流感疫苗了 |
| [00:32] | Yeah, flu shots are for the weak. | 流感疫苗是给弱者打的 |
| [00:34] | Fogertys don’t get sick. It’s family policy. | 福格蒂家不会生病的 这是家庭传统 |
| [00:37] | I don’t allow it. | 我不允许 |
| [00:38] | You know, I usually ignore the nonsense | 我一般不理会你嘴里 |
| [00:39] | that comes out of your mouth, but this I have to hear — | 吐出来的废话 但这个我必须问 |
| [00:41] | so, you, Douglas Fogerty, | 你 道格拉斯·福格蒂 |
| [00:43] | never get sick because you don’t allow it? | 从不生病是因为你不允许 |
| [00:45] | That’s exactly right. I’m the boss of my own body. | 没错 我是自己身体的主宰 |
| [00:48] | When I was in my early 20s, I was short, | 我20出头时很矮 |
| [00:50] | and then I decided not to be. | 然后我决定要长高 |
| [00:52] | Graham hasn’t gotten his shot yet. | 格雷厄姆还没有打疫苗 |
| [00:54] | It’s his biggest fear. | 他最怕这个了 |
| [00:55] | Ho’d up! Ho’d up! | 慢着 慢着 |
| [00:56] | – I taught him that. – What? | -我教他的 -什么 |
| [00:57] | Did you know that they developed a flu shot in mist form? | 你们知道喷雾式疫苗已经研究出来了吗 |
| [01:00] | He doesn’t have to get the shot. He can just breathe it in. | 他不用打针 只要吸进去就行了 |
| [01:02] | Yeah, I know, but they only make the mist in limited quantities | 我知道 但喷雾疫苗有限 |
| [01:04] | and we haven’t yet made it onto our pediatrician’s “Mist List,” | 儿科医生还没让我们开始用 |
| [01:07] | so we’re gonna have to suffer through the shot again. | 所以我们还是得打针 |
| [01:09] | But there’s no way it could be as bad as it was last year. | 不过不可能会比去年糟糕了 |
| [01:11] | Everything looks good! | 一切都很好 |
| [01:13] | The doctor will be right in for your shot. | 医生一会就来给你打针 |
| [01:16] | You’re being so brave. | 你真勇敢 |
| [01:17] | I’m really proud of you. | 我为你感到骄傲 |
| [01:22] | Well, that’s handled. | 好了 搞定 |
| [01:24] | I won’t even tell you about the time he bit the receptionist. | 我都不想说他咬前台的事了 |
| [01:27] | But thank God for Dr. Dewan. | 是感谢德万医生 |
| [01:28] | She scares the hell out of me, but she’s a genius. | 她吓死我了 但她是个天才 |
| [01:31] | Wait. You see Dr. Dewan? | 等等 你去德万医生那看病 |
| [01:32] | You’re still seeing her? | 你还在找她看病 |
| [01:34] | See, we had to find a new pediatrician. | 我们得找个新儿科医生 |
| [01:35] | I just felt like such a bad parent after every visit, | 我每次看完病都觉得自己很不称职 |
| [01:38] | – I’d wind up binging Teen Mom. – Right? | -然后会刷《少女妈妈》 -对吧 |
| [01:40] | I have to schedule five minutes after every appointment | 每次看完病 我得抽5分钟 |
| [01:42] | so I can cry in my car. | 在车里哭 |
| [01:44] | It’s incredible. | 太不可思议了 |
| [01:45] | I have been trying to get Sophie an appointment | 我已经为苏菲预约 |
| [01:47] | with her for four months. | 4个月了 |
| [01:48] | Please let us tag along. | 请让我们一起去吧 |
| [01:49] | Seeing Dr. Dewan give a flu shot is on my actual bucket list. | 找德万医生打流感疫苗就在我的愿望清单上 |
| [01:52] | Fine. You can tag along, | 好的 你可以一起 |
| [01:53] | but please never show me your bucket list, | 但请不要给我看你的愿望名单 |
| [01:55] | because that sounds like a real bummer. | 听起来真的很不舒服 |
| [01:57] | I can’t believe I’m going to meet the Dr. Dewan, | 我居然要去见德万医生了 |
| [02:00] | the premier pediatrician in Southern California. | 南加州最棒的儿科医生 |
| [02:02] | Just ask one of the six | 随便拿起一本我订阅的 |
| [02:03] | children’s health magazines I subscribe to — | 六家儿童健康杂志吧 |
| [02:05] | The man needs sex. | 这男人需要性生活 |
| [02:14] | All right, sweetie, do you have everything you need | 亲爱的 你还需要什么 |
| [02:15] | to help you get through the shot? | 来帮你熬过打针吗 |
| [02:16] | What? Is someone talking to me? | 什么 有人在跟我说话吗 |
| [02:19] | Look at this office. | 看看这个办公室 |
| [02:21] | It’s exactly how I imagined it. | 这正是我想象的样子 |
| [02:23] | Hey, Little G, how you holding up? | 小G 你怎么样 |
| [02:25] | Oh, mom… Flu shot… | 妈妈 流感疫苗 |
| [02:27] | Okay, listen, Will. | 听着 威尔 |
| [02:29] | We are this close to getting on the Mist List, okay? | 我们差一点就能用喷雾疫苗了 好吗 |
| [02:32] | Do not make eye contact, | 不要有眼神交流 |
| [02:33] | only speak when spoken to, and remember, | 问你时再说话 记住 |
| [02:35] | – we work for her. -Got it. | -我们为她工作 -明白了 |
| [02:36] | Did you put on a dress for this? | 你特意穿的这件裙子吗 |
| [02:38] | Did you get a blowout? | 还了做头发 |
| [02:39] | You have no idea how high the stakes are | 你都不知道这事有多重要 |
| [02:42] | Nice to see you, Graham. | 很高兴见到你 格雷厄姆 |
| [02:44] | He has a walnut allergy. | 他对核桃过敏 |
| [02:45] | I can tell by the way he sits. | 从他的坐姿可以看出来 |
| [02:47] | And you haven’t been protecting him from the sun. | 你也没给他涂防晒 |
| [02:49] | Anything less than 100 SPF, and you might as well | 如果防晒系数低于100 你不如 |
| [02:51] | dip him in butter and strap him to the roof of a car. | 给他蘸上黄油 绑在汽车顶上 |
| [02:53] | Graham, have you been eating your vegetables? | 格雷厄姆 你吃蔬菜了吗 |
| [02:55] | It depends on the — | 这得看 |
| [02:56] | I want to hear from the boy. | 我想听孩子说 |
| [02:58] | Um, for breakfast, I had some chips. | 早饭我吃了些薯片 |
| [03:04] | I try to get him vegetables, but… | 我想给他吃蔬菜的 但是 |
| [03:06] | It — I-I’m busy. | 我很忙 |
| [03:07] | I-I’m a single mom, I work overtime. It’s tough. | 我是单亲妈妈 还加班 这很困难 |
| [03:10] | You know what’s tough? Juvenile diabetes. | 你知道什么难治吗 儿童糖尿病 |
| [03:12] | You have to force him to eat five to seven servings a day. | 你必须强迫他每天吃五到七份食物 |
| [03:16] | Uh, not to be “That guy,” | 我不想搅和 |
| [03:18] | but I actually just read a new report that came out. | 但我刚读了一份新报告 |
| [03:21] | It was in Pediatric American. | 是在《美国儿科》上 |
| [03:21] | No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | 不不不不不不 |
| [03:22] | And it said that parental coercion | 上面说父母在餐桌上 |
| [03:24] | at the dinner table doesn’t actually lead | 强迫自己小孩吃东西 |
| [03:26] | to long-term changes in kids’ eating habits. | 并不能改变小孩的饮食习惯 |
| [03:28] | Oh, I’m so sorry. | 真不好意思 |
| [03:30] | I didn’t realize we had | 我不知道 |
| [03:30] | another medical professional in the room. | 这屋里还有一位专业医生 |
| [03:32] | Doesn’t take a medical professional | 不是医生也可以阅读 |
| [03:34] | – to read Pediatric American. – Thanks for the tip. | -《美国儿科》 -谢谢提醒 |
| [03:36] | I’ve been published in Pediatric American 10 times. | 我在《美国儿科》上发表了十篇文章 |
| [03:38] | – 11 times. – What? | -十一篇 -什么 |
| [03:40] | I’ve read everything you’ve ever written. | 你写的文章我都读过 |
| [03:41] | Frankly, that’s why I expected more from you — | 老实说 所以我才以为你会更懂 |
| [03:44] | Changing the subject! | 换个话题 |
| [03:45] | I guess that this isn’t the best time | 我猜现在不是最佳时机 |
| [03:46] | to ask if we have any shot at the Mist List this year? | 但我得问问今年我们能用上流感疫苗喷雾吗 |
| [03:49] | After today, what do you think? | 经过今天后 你觉得呢 |
| [03:51] | You ready for your shot, Graham? | 准备好打针了吗 格雷厄姆 |
| [03:55] | I blinked and he was just gone. | 我一眨眼他就不见了 |
| [03:57] | Okay, I need feedback on this smock. | 关于这袍子 我需要点意见 |
| [04:00] | Of course it goes with the tights, | 我知道这和紧身裤很搭 |
| [04:02] | but then I thought, | 但我又想 |
| [04:04] | why not just — | 不如直接搭配 |
| [04:05] | – A pair of cowboy boots! – A pair of cowboy boots! | -一双牛仔靴 -一双牛仔靴 |
| [04:08] | Yes, Montana realness. | 蒙大拿州既视感 |
| [04:14] | Hey, girls. | 姑娘们你们好 |
| [04:15] | – No running. – We’re light jogging. | -不准跑 -我们在慢跑 |
| [04:17] | Okay, listen. | 听着 |
| [04:18] | I don’t have much time to explain. | 我没多少时间解释 |
| [04:20] | I’m sick. | 我病了 |
| [04:21] | Sick?! | 病了 |
| [04:22] | Oh, I thought you didn’t “Allow” germs? | 我还以为你不”允许”细菌到你身上 |
| [04:25] | The illness has breached the system. | 疾病突破了我的防线 |
| [04:26] | Okay, now, listen to me. I need you to watch the girls, | 听我说 我需要你看着她们 |
| [04:28] | because if they see me weak, | 因为如果她们见到我病倒 |
| [04:30] | then the delicate parent-to-child power balance | 我们之间微妙的父女权力制衡 |
| [04:34] | will be disrupted, and that can’t happen. | 就会被打破 这可万万不能发生 |
| [04:36] | They’ve already started collecting nursing home brochures. | 她们已经开始收集养老院宣传手册了 |
| [04:38] | I’m gonna go to the woods now. | 我得去森林了 |
| [04:40] | Wait. The woods? | 等等 森林 |
| [04:41] | The metaphorical woods. | 象征意义上的森林 |
| [04:43] | I need total isolation. | 我需要绝对的隔离 |
| [04:44] | Douglas, just get over yourself and let me take care of you. | 道格拉斯 省省吧 让我照顾你 |
| [04:46] | The girls, they — they can’t see me like this. | 姑娘们 她们不能看见我病了 |
| [04:49] | I think they’d surprise you. | 我想她们会让你意外的 |
| [04:50] | They aren’t psychopaths. | 她们又不是精神变态 |
| [04:58] | What were you doing in there? | 刚才你在干什么 |
| [04:59] | You owe me 30 bucks for this blowout. | 你欠我30块钱的美发费用 |
| [05:01] | I’m sorry, okay? | 对不起 |
| [05:03] | Talking about pediatric dietary guidelines | 儿科饮食指南这个话题 |
| [05:05] | brings out the wild man in me. | 释放了那个狂野的我 |
| [05:06] | I can’t see through this mask. | 面具遮住了我的眼睛 |
| [05:08] | Are we still in the office? | 我们还在医院吗 |
| [05:09] | Did I get the shot? | 我打针了吗 |
| [05:11] | No, sweetheart, we’re gonna have to come back. | 没有亲爱的 我们得改日再来 |
| [05:13] | I will not let you ruin my chance | 我不会让你毁了我们 |
| [05:15] | of getting on the Mist List this year. | 今年喷上流感疫苗喷雾的机会 |
| [05:16] | I can’t do this again. | 我不能再来一次了 |
| [05:17] | I’ve been feeding Graham turkey for three days | 我已经给格雷厄姆吃了三天火鸡 |
| [05:20] | to keep him drowsy. | 使他昏昏沉沉 |
| [05:21] | I am this close to giving him wine. | 我差点就要给他喝红酒了 |
| [05:23] | Now go back in there and apologize. | 你现在给我回去道歉 |
| [05:25] | – She is — – Now. | -她是 -现在 |
| [05:27] | – I — – Right now. | -我 -快去 |
| [05:28] | – If you — – Now. | -如果你 -去 |
| [05:29] | – But she — – Now! | -但她 -现在就去 |
| [05:30] | – But — If — – Now. Now. | -但是 如果 -现在赶紧去 |
| [05:31] | I will apologize for my behavior. | 我会为我的行为道歉 |
| [05:33] | – Great. – But I will n apologize for my beliefs. | -很好 -但我不会为我的信仰道歉 |
| [05:37] | 3, 2, 1… | 三 二 一 |
| [05:39] | Start the magic. | 见证奇迹的时刻 |
| [05:42] | You girls just saved me $200. | 你们俩刚为我省了两百块 |
| [05:45] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [05:46] | Wait, what? | 等等 什么 |
| [05:47] | He’s where? | 他在哪 |
| [05:49] | I put in his prescription | 我刚去给他拿药 |
| [05:50] | and that’s when the fever took control. | 他就烧得不成人样了 |
| [05:52] | Next thing you know, I’m watching a grown man | 然后我眼看着一个成年男性 |
| [05:53] | try to eat a coloring book. | 试图吃掉涂色书 |
| [05:56] | Hi, guys! | 大家好啊 |
| [05:58] | Do you think these sunglasses make my face look too small? | 你们觉不觉得这副太阳眼镜显得我脸小 |
| [06:02] | I mean, the look is punk, but it’s also now. | 扮相挺朋克 但也很现代 |
| [06:05] | They’re a “Buy” for me. | 要是我肯定买买买 |
| [06:06] | Oh, my God. He’s burning up. | 我的天 他烧得不轻啊 |
| [06:08] | The girls can’t see me like this — | 姑娘们不能看见我这样 |
| [06:10] | Da-Daddy’s waiting for medicine. | 爸爸在等着取药 |
| [06:12] | It’s a cold. Get a hold of yourself! | 只是感冒 振作点 |
| [06:14] | Terry, you’re our father now. | 泰瑞 你现在是我们爸爸了 |
| [06:16] | I’m already feeding five birds. | 我已经养了五只鸟 |
| [06:17] | I need to be among the trees. | 我得去树林里 |
| [06:19] | All right, let’s get you up. | 行了 你起来吧 |
| [06:23] | We’re gonna need a dolly. | 我们需要一个手推车 |
| [06:28] | Well, well. | 看看谁来了 |
| [06:30] | – Captain Vegetables. – I, uh… | -蔬菜队长 -我… |
| [06:32] | I just wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. | 我想为自己之前的行为道歉 |
| [06:37] | But not my beliefs. | 但不为我的信仰道歉 |
| [06:38] | You know, you were right about parental coercion. | 关于父母强制小孩饮食你说得对 |
| [06:40] | It is in the latest Pediatric American. | 在最新版的《美国儿科》上有 |
| [06:42] | Told ya. | 我说吧 |
| [06:44] | I was right, you were wrong. | 我是对的 你错了 |
| [06:45] | Just please don’t take that out on Graham, okay? | 别把格雷厄姆除名 好吗 |
| [06:47] | He really needs the Mist List — | 他真的很需要流感疫苗喷雾 |
| [06:49] | Have you really read all of my articles? | 你真的读过我所有的文章吗 |
| [06:50] | Yes, I have. | 读过 |
| [06:51] | even the one you write under your pen name, | 就连你以笔名发表的文章也看了 |
| [06:52] | Dr. Vicky Bradshaw. | 维姬·布拉德肖医生 |
| [06:53] | I don’t have a pen name. | 我没有笔名 |
| [06:55] | Come on. | 得了吧 |
| [06:56] | Oh, you’re good. | 你真厉害 |
| [07:00] | Who are you? | 你是谁 |
| [07:01] | Where did you come from? | 从哪来 |
| [07:05] | I was born at a very young age. | 我在很小的时候就出生了 |
| [07:08] | No, my name’s Will Cooper. | 不 我的名字是威尔·库珀 |
| [07:09] | I’m from Denver originally, Mile High City. | 老家在丹佛 也叫”里高城” |
| [07:11] | Why “Mile high”? | 为什么叫”里高城” |
| [07:11] | Well, it has something to do with the sea level and the — | 这和海平面有点关系 |
| [07:13] | Oh, you just think you’re so smart. | 你觉得自己很聪明 |
| [07:17] | You just know it all. | 什么都知道 |
| [07:19] | I would never claim to know it all, | 我从来不会说自己什么都知道 |
| [07:21] | but I-I definitely think of learning | 当然 我也一直把学习当作 |
| [07:23] | as sort of a life’s journey thing… | 一生的旅程 |
| [07:25] | Um, you can never know everything. | 你永远都不能知晓一切 |
| [07:27] | You’re — You’re always constantly learning. | 你 你要持续不断地学 |
| [07:28] | Like, right now feels like a possible learning experience. | 就像现在 感觉也像在学习 |
| [07:31] | Oh, my God. You smell so nice. | 天哪 你真香 |
| [07:37] | What am I doing here? | 我在这干嘛 |
| [07:38] | Who are you? | 你们是谁 |
| [07:39] | Are you all trees? | 你们是树吗 |
| [07:40] | What happened to you? You used to be a man. | 你怎么了 以前你可爷们多了 |
| [07:42] | -Keep them away! -Okay, okay. | -让她们离我远点 -好的 |
| [07:44] | Girls, weren’t you gonna remove that tree stump in the backyard? | 姑娘们 你们去把后院的树桩给移走 |
| [07:47] | Don’t let them back… | 别让她们回来 |
| [07:48] | No, no, no. Just let go of my sweater. | 把我的毛衣松开 |
| [07:50] | Oh, my God, what is this sweater wet with? | 天哪 这毛衣沾上什么了 |
| [07:53] | All right, I’m gonna go make him some soup. | 我去给他做点汤 |
| [07:54] | Make sure he doesn’t eat anything that isn’t food. | 确保他不要吃任何不是食物的东西 |
| [07:56] | I don’t like the way he’s been eyeing that remote. | 我不喜欢他盯着那个遥控器的样子 |
| [07:58] | Got it. | 明白 |
| [07:59] | This ski lodge, it’s a disgrace. | 这个滑雪小屋 太丢人了 |
| [08:02] | Oh, I am here for this. | 这个我想听听 |
| [08:03] | They’re closing in on us, Diana.. | 他们在逼近我们 黛安娜 |
| [08:05] | Charles will not rest until we’re both dead. | 在我们死之前 查尔斯是不会消停的 |
| [08:08] | Oh, I love this area. | 我喜欢这剧情 |
| [08:10] | My…head is… | 我的头 |
| [08:12] | is very hot. | 好烫 |
| [08:14] | Rory, your mom is so pretty. | 罗里 你妈妈真漂亮 |
| [08:15] | – I wanna kiss your mom. – Come again? | -我想吻她 -你再说一遍 |
| [08:17] | Kiss Poppy’s face… | 亲吻波比的脸颊 |
| [08:19] | Kiss that pretty face… | 亲吻她美丽的脸颊 |
| [08:22] | Twist. | 这剧情反转够快啊 |
| [08:25] | And then, Dr. Dewan put her hands on my neck like this. | 接着 德万医生像这样把手放我脖子上 |
| [08:28] | And she said to me, | 对我说 |
| [08:29] | “I think your lymph nodes feel fine.” | “我觉得你的淋巴摸上去很正常” |
| [08:32] | Right? It was so confusing! | 是吧 让人摸不着头脑 |
| [08:33] | Miggy, you know all about the ladies. | 米基 你懂女人的 |
| [08:35] | Help me out. | 帮帮我 |
| [08:36] | Let me guess. She gave you her number? | 我猜猜 她把号码给了你 |
| [08:38] | Yeah. What am I gonna do with that? | 没错 我该怎么办 |
| [08:41] | Dating’s changed so much since I met Mia. | 在遇到米娅后 约会变了好多 |
| [08:43] | Now everything’s so confusing, with all these apps, | 现在的一切都让我困惑 这么多软件 |
| [08:45] | like Tinder and Bumble | 像探探和陌陌 |
| [08:47] | and Candy Crush and Calculator. | 还有糖果粉碎传奇和计算器 |
| [08:49] | It’s easier than you think, okay? | 比你想象的简单 |
| [08:50] | Just give her as little as possible. | 尽量不要回她太多话 |
| [08:52] | Um, text her a random word | 随便给她发个词 |
| [08:53] | and then see how long before she responds. | 看她多久回你 |
| [08:55] | All right. I’m gonna text her… | 好 那我给她发 |
| [08:58] | “Lettuce.” | “生菜” |
| [09:02] | And sent. | 发送 |
| [09:03] | Now we just wait and — | 现在 我们只要等着 |
| [09:05] | I wonder if she meant to send that picture. | 我不确定她是否想回我这张照片 |
| [09:07] | Or that one. | 或者是这张 |
| [09:08] | Or that one. | 还是这张 |
| [09:10] | Okay, I think it’s safe to assume | 好吧 现在我想 |
| [09:11] | she means to send these. | 她是真的想回这些照片 |
| [09:12] | – What are they? – Nothing. | -什么照片啊 -什么也没有 |
| [09:13] | I guess, if you must know, | 如果你真想知道 |
| [09:15] | they are what people refer to as “Sexual text messages” | 这些是人们所说的”性爱短信” |
| [09:18] | or “Sexages.” | 或者叫”性[信]息” |
| [09:21] | Hey, do you think that Angie would mind | 你觉得安吉会介意 |
| [09:23] | if I asked out her pediatrician on a date? | 我约她儿子的医生吗 |
| [09:25] | I mean, I just don’t want to mess up her chance | 我的意思是 我不想让她失去 |
| [09:26] | to get on the Mist List. | 试用流感疫苗喷雾的机会 |
| [09:28] | If anything, you hooking up with this doctor | 你真的和那个医生好上了 |
| [09:30] | is only gonna help Angie’s chances. | 只会帮助她得到那个机会 |
| [09:31] | My dude. | 好哥们 |
| [09:35] | But no one does dates anymore, a’ight? | 但是现在已经没有人去约会了 |
| [09:38] | Sex comes first. | 都是先上床 |
| [09:40] | – I’m ready for that. – I know you’re ready for that. | -我准备好了 -我知道 |
| [09:42] | I always knew a day would come I’d have to use my body | 我就知道总会有一天要拿自己的身体 |
| [09:43] | as a bargaining chip. | 做交易 |
| [09:46] | Whoa, mama! | 天哪 |
| [09:47] | Well, apparently you can use portrait mode | 看来肖像模式 |
| [09:49] | on more than just your face. | 不只可以用来拍脸 |
| [09:53] | Someone had a night to remember. | 有人度过了难忘的一夜啊 |
| [09:55] | I have no idea what you’re talking about. | 我不知道你在说什么 |
| [09:57] | Maybe some video will jog your memory. | 也许这段视频能唤起你的记忆 |
| [10:00] | Kiss Poppy’s pretty face… | 亲亲波比漂亮的脸蛋 |
| [10:03] | Kiss pretty face… | 亲亲漂亮脸蛋 |
| [10:04] | That is the ravings of a feverish man. | 那是我发烧说胡话了 |
| [10:07] | You’re not gonna show that to your mom, are you? | 你不会给你妈看吧 |
| [10:09] | Who’s to say what I’ll do? | 谁说的准我会做什么呢 |
| [10:10] | I’m 7. | 我才七岁 |
| [10:14] | I’m not gonna be threatened by a first grader. | 我才不会被一年级小学生威胁呢 |
| [10:17] | Emma? Amy? Get in the car. | 艾玛 艾米 上车去 |
| [10:21] | I don’t think they can hear you. | 她们好像听不到你说话 |
| [10:23] | Oh, they can hear me. | 她们听到了 |
| [10:24] | It’s happening. They saw me weak. | 她们终于看到了我虚弱的样子 |
| [10:26] | Now it’s just a matter of time before they feast on my body. | 用不了多久她们就会对我剥骨吸髓了 |
| [10:31] | Hey, guys. Big news. | 大家好 有大事了 |
| [10:33] | Tomorrow night, there is a woman coming over to my house, | 明天晚上会有个女人来我家 |
| [10:36] | and I’m pretty sure we’re going to make sex. | 我很确定我们会滚床单 |
| [10:40] | In-ter-course. In-ter-course. | 性 交 性 交 |
| [10:43] | – What are you doing? – Finally. | -你在干什么 -终于来了 |
| [10:44] | In-ter-course! In-ter-course! | 性 交 性 交 |
| [10:47] | – Hi, Susan. – Come on, honey. | -苏珊 -快走 宝贝 |
| [10:48] | Congratulations. Some woman out there | 恭喜你 有一位女士 |
| [10:50] | is gonna have a very mediocre night. | 将会经历非常平凡的一晚 |
| [10:52] | Yeah, she is. | 那当然 |
| [10:53] | And she’s been sending me a bunch of sexages… | 而且她给我发了一大堆”性息” |
| [10:55] | ..and I may have sent her one or two myself. | 我可能也给她发了一两条 |
| [10:59] | – God! – Okay. Not cool. | -天呐 -这不合适吧 |
| [11:00] | Put your phone away! | 把手机拿开 |
| [11:00] | That’s worse than what I thought you were gonna show us. | 比我以为你要给我们看的东西还糟糕 |
| [11:02] | – I taught you better than that. – Terrible. | -我可不是这么教你的 -太差劲了 |
| [11:04] | So who’s the kind of lucky lady? | 这位好像挺幸运的女士是谁 |
| [11:06] | I’ll give you three hints. | 给你们三个提示 |
| [11:08] | You know her, you respect her, | 你们认识她 尊敬她 |
| [11:09] | and it’s Dr. Dewan. | 是德万医生 |
| [11:11] | It’s Dr. Dewan? | 是德万医生 |
| [11:12] | No, dude. | 不行 |
| [11:13] | Definitely not. No. | 绝对不行 |
| [11:14] | What she means is we don’t date people who work with our kids. | 她的意思是不能交往和孩子有关系的人 |
| [11:17] | It just tends to end in disaster. | 一般都不会有好结果 |
| [11:18] | Maybe we can make an exception for Will. | 也许威尔可以破例一次 |
| [11:20] | I mean, he’s an adult man, and damn it, | 他是个成年人 |
| [11:22] | the poor sap deserves to lose his virginity. | 而且这个倒霉蛋该失去处子身了 |
| [11:25] | Yeah, but the man is wearing | 但他同时穿了 |
| [11:26] | two separate pieces of fleece clothing. | 两件羊绒衫 |
| [11:28] | Maybe we bend the rules just this once. | 也许这次可以变通一下 |
| [11:29] | Bend the rules? | 变通一下 |
| [11:30] | Where were you when I wanted to sleep | 我想睡双胞胎的 |
| [11:31] | with the twins’ karate sensei? | 跆拳道教练的时候你怎么说的 |
| [11:33] | Master Gary? | 加里大师 |
| [11:33] | Yeah. He was so disciplined. | 他那么严格律己 |
| [11:35] | Will, this is not happening, okay? | 威尔 这事不行 |
| [11:37] | I don’t want to start all over on some new doctor’s Mist List. | 我不想再重新争取其他医生的喷雾机会了 |
| [11:40] | You have to end it, but don’t make her angry. | 你必须和她分手 但别惹她生气 |
| [11:43] | – Understand? – Absolutely. Crystal clear. | -明白吗 -明白 完全明白 |
| [11:45] | Keep her happy, break it off. | 让她高兴 结束关系 |
| [11:47] | No big deal. Simple. | 小菜一碟 很容易 |
| [11:52] | Perfect. You got me sick! | 真棒 你传染给我了 |
| [11:53] | I’d ask you to take care of me, | 我本想让你照顾我 |
| [11:54] | but I assume you have some code against that, too? | 但我猜你也有禁止这种事的规矩吧 |
| [11:56] | You bet your sick ass I do. | 那是当然 |
| [11:58] | But all you’ll be getting out of me is a Z-Paktt | 但我可以给你开一包阿奇霉素 |
| [12:02] | and the number to my answering service. | 以及接听电话服务的号码 |
| [12:04] | – Here you go. – Thanks. | -给你 -谢谢 |
| [12:06] | Why, hello, Douglas. | 你好 道格拉斯 |
| [12:07] | Mom, any interest in some video I shot on my phone last night? | 妈 想看看我昨晚拍的视频吗 |
| [12:10] | You know what? I got a great idea. | 你猜怎么着 我有个好主意 |
| [12:12] | Why don’t you get to the pharmacy | 要不你去药房 |
| [12:13] | and I’ll make sure Rory gets home. | 我来送罗里回家 |
| [12:16] | Girls, car. | 姑娘们 上车 |
| [12:17] | Hey, Emily Dickinson! How’s your fever? | 艾米莉·狄金森 你退烧了吗 |
| [12:21] | Why don’t you go curl up with a blanket | 你为什么不盖条毯子躺着 |
| [12:23] | and write a poem about it? | 再为它写首诗呢 |
| [12:25] | What’d I tell you? I lost them. | 我说什么来着 管不住了 |
| [12:30] | No. Bye-bye. | 不要 拜拜 |
| [12:31] | Nice, Douglas. Real nice. | 不错 道格拉斯 干得不错 |
| [12:32] | Okay, Broseph. | 兄瑟夫 |
| [12:34] | Brozilla, what’s up? | 弟斯拉 什么事 |
| [12:35] | I’m really gonna need your help getting out of this now. | 我真的需要你帮我脱身 |
| [12:37] | Easy. See, most people in that situation would be like, | 冷静 这种情况下大多数人都会说 |
| [12:39] | “You wanna get rid of a girl? Ghost her.” | “想甩掉一个姑娘吗 跟她玩消失” |
| [12:41] | But I say, nah, become the opposite of a ghost. | 但我觉得不行 正相反 |
| [12:45] | Which is a goblin? | 变成妖精[ghost有鬼魂的意思] |
| [12:46] | A ghoul? | 食尸鬼 |
| [12:47] | N-No, the opposite of a ghost is a mailman. | 不 鬼魂的反面是快递员 |
| [12:49] | You gotta mailman that chick, bro. | 你要快递员她 |
| [12:51] | How do you mailman someone? | 快递员要怎么做 |
| [12:53] | Man… Okay, look. | 天呐 |
| [12:54] | You show up, totally unannounced, at their house. | 你不打招呼就到她们家 |
| [12:58] | Yeah, okay. That sounds like a mailman. | 听起来是挺像邮递员的 |
| [13:02] | Have you said anything? | 你说了吗 |
| [13:03] | Not yet, but you know how hard it is to keep a secret, | 还没有 但你知道保守秘密有多难 |
| [13:06] | and I’m starting to think that this is a juicy one. | 而且我开始觉得这个秘密不简单 |
| [13:09] | What do you want from me? | 你想要什么 |
| [13:11] | I think you know what I want. | 你应该知道我要什么 |
| [13:13] | To go shopping? | 去购物吗 |
| [13:15] | You just made a huge assumption | 你刚刚对我本人做了一个 |
| [13:16] | about who I am as a person. | 大胆的猜测 |
| [13:17] | And you were right on. | 而你猜对了 |
| [13:19] | I won’t take you shopping. | 我不会带你去购物的 |
| [13:21] | Yes, you will. | 你会的 |
| [13:25] | To the mall. Chop-chop. | 去商场了 赶紧的 |
| [13:32] | I got to say, | 不得不说 |
| [13:34] | mailmanning feels a little bit like stalking. | 快递员感觉有点像跟踪 |
| [13:36] | Exactly. It’ll freak her ass out, | 那就对了 能把她吓坏了 |
| [13:38] | and she won’t be into you anymore. | 这样她就再也不会喜欢你了 |
| [13:40] | Feels kind of thrilling, you know? | 感觉有点小激动呢 |
| [13:41] | – Word. – You’re sure it’s gonna work? | -可不是 -你确定这样有用 |
| [13:43] | Man, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. | 我这辈子从没对什么这么肯定过 |
| [13:50] | What are you doing here? | 你来这做什么 |
| [13:51] | Oh, you know, just, uh, dropping by unannounced | 就是 完全不打招呼地 |
| [13:54] | at your personal residence. | 出现在你的私人住所 |
| [13:55] | Off-putting, right? Well, that’s just me. | 很讨厌吧 我就是这样 |
| [13:57] | Red Flag City, population — one lunatic. | 扫兴达人 煞风景能手 |
| [14:01] | Ding, dong. | 叮咚 |
| [14:02] | It’s the mailman. | 快递来了 |
| [14:04] | The mailman? | 你是快递员 |
| [14:07] | I like that. | 我喜欢 |
| [14:10] | I gotta know what’s in your bag. | 我得知道你包里是什么 |
| [14:14] | Coupons mostly, a couple of real-estate mailers. | 多数是优惠券 几张房地产广告 |
| [14:17] | This bag’s property of the United States Postal Service, | 这个包是美国邮政署的财产 |
| [14:19] | and tampering with it is a federal offense. | 擅自拆包违反了联邦法律 |
| [14:21] | And also, I don’t actually have a mail bag. | 再说了 我不是真的带了邮件袋 |
| [14:22] | And also, I’m not a mailman. | 我也不是快递员 |
| [14:23] | See, the whole reason that I did this thing — | 我这么做的原因就是… |
| [14:29] | Yep, I can verify that purchase. | 我确认这是我本人购买的 |
| [14:31] | It was, uh, nine pairs of children’s Italian loafers. | 是九双儿童意大利乐福鞋 |
| [14:35] | Th-Th-That’s right, and $219 at the robe store. | 对 还有在长袍店消费了219块 |
| [14:39] | What? Hold on. Did you sneak away | 什么 等下 你偷偷溜去 |
| [14:41] | and buy an espresso machine? | 买了一个意式浓缩咖啡机 |
| [14:43] | It’s being delivered. | 送货到家 |
| [14:44] | Yeah, that was us, too. | 对 也是我们买的 |
| [14:46] | Well, that was the second call from my credit card company. | 那是我的信用卡公司第二次打给我了 |
| [14:48] | Are you satisfied? | 你满意了吗 |
| [14:49] | Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever be satisfied. | 老实说 我觉得我永远也不会满足 |
| [14:51] | Guess the only way to find out is to keep shopping. | 我想我们只能继续购物了 |
| [14:53] | Tell you what. You want my watch? Take my watch. | 这么着吧 想要我的手表吗 拿去 |
| [14:55] | My grandfather gave this to me | 这是我医学院毕业时 |
| [14:56] | when I graduated from medical school, | 我爷爷给我的 |
| [14:58] | but I can’t handle you trying on another tunic. | 但我不能再让你去试短袍了 |
| [15:01] | Wait. | 等下 |
| [15:03] | You’re going to actually give me your grandfather’s watch? | 你真的要把你爷爷的手表给我吗 |
| [15:07] | Why would you do that unless… | 你为什么要这么做 除非… |
| [15:10] | No. No, there’s — there’s no reason. | 不 不 没有什么原因 |
| [15:11] | I’m just trying to avoid an embarrassing situation. | 我只是想避免产生一些尴尬局面 |
| [15:14] | You know what I think, Douglas? | 知道我是怎么想的吗 道格拉斯 |
| [15:15] | I think that you actually like my mom | 我觉得你真的喜欢我妈 |
| [15:17] | and you’re scared she’ll find out. | 而害怕被她知道 |
| [15:19] | Tell me I’m wrong. | 我说的没错吧 |
| [15:22] | You just hesitated. | 你犹豫了 |
| [15:23] | N-No, I was swallowing. | 不 不 我是在吞口水 |
| [15:24] | Ladies and gentlemen, we have a hesitation! | 女士们先生们 这里有人犹豫了 |
| [15:26] | – Can a man even swallow? – We have a hesitation! | -我就不能吞口水吗 -他犹豫了 |
| [15:27] | – No going back! – I was swallowing. | -你没有退路了 -我是在吞口水 |
| [15:28] | J-J– Take the watch. | 把手表拿去 |
| [15:30] | I don’t want that tacky thing. | 我才不要这个俗气的东西 |
| [15:33] | Just show her you care. | 让她知道你关心她 |
| [15:36] | And let’s take one last lap for tunics. | 我们最后再去试一圈短袍 |
| [15:38] | I don’t think we’ve found the one yet. | 我还没看到合适的 |
| [15:52] | Mailmanning did not work. | 快递员这招不管用 |
| [15:53] | Yeah, I noticed that. | 我也发现了 |
| [15:55] | Oh, man. How did I not know about casual sex before this? | 天呐 我之前怎么不知道随性性爱 |
| [15:57] | It’s amazing! | 太爽了 |
| [15:58] | We, like, got all naked. | 我们都脱光光了 |
| [15:59] | She doesn’t even know my middle name. | 她连我的中间名都还不知道呢 |
| [16:03] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [16:05] | Angie! | 安吉 |
| [16:06] | Always a treat. | 随时欢迎打来 |
| [16:07] | I thought I’d just see how it went with Dr. Dewan. | 我是想问问你和德万医生怎么样了 |
| [16:10] | Your breathing sounds normal, | 听起来你呼吸平顺 |
| [16:12] | so I guess she didn’t crush your windpipe. | 所以我猜她没有掐断你的气管 |
| [16:14] | That’s funny. | 真好笑 |
| [16:15] | You know, I was actually just telling Miggy how well it went. | 其实我正在跟米基说一切进展顺利 |
| [16:18] | I think you’d be very surprised | 我觉得你知道了德万医生 |
| [16:19] | with how Dr. Dewan handled the situation. | 是如何接受了这件事会非常吃惊的 |
| [16:22] | – I was. – Thank God. | -我就很吃惊 -谢天谢地 |
| [16:23] | I know how she can take bad news. | 我知道她一般怎么处理坏消息 |
| [16:25] | Okay, talk soon. Bye! | 以后再聊 再见 |
| [16:29] | Private lessons? | 私教课 |
| [16:31] | Master Gary… | 加里大师 |
| [16:33] | This is a disaster. | 完蛋了 |
| [16:34] | I promised Angie I’d end it, and now… | 我答应安吉我会结束恋情 而现在 |
| [16:37] | Can I be honest? Will to Miggy? | 能说实话吗 只有威尔和米基知道 |
| [16:39] | I don’t want to! | 我并不想结束 |
| [16:40] | Thank God I have you. Tell me how to fix this. | 还好有你在 告诉我怎么办 |
| [16:42] | I know I’m in good hands. | 我知道你能救我 |
| [16:44] | So, uh… you just…uh… | 你只用… |
| [16:47] | So, typically at this point… | 通常来说这个时候… |
| [16:48] | you…uh… | 你… |
| [16:50] | Tell me. | 快告诉我 |
| [16:52] | I made it up, man. All of it. | 都是我编的 所有事 |
| [16:54] | I have no idea what I’m talking about. | 我不知道自己在说什么 |
| [16:55] | What? Why would you do that? | 什么 你为什么要这么做 |
| [16:57] | I don’t know. | 我也说不好 |
| [16:58] | I just liked that someone thought | 我只是喜欢有人觉得 |
| [16:59] | I was an expert on something. | 我很擅长某件事 |
| [17:00] | I mean, who knew just texting “Lettuce” would work? | 谁知道只发了个”生菜”就管用了 |
| [17:02] | Ho’d up. | 等下 |
| [17:03] | Haven’t you been with a bunch of ladies? | 你没有和大把女性交往过 |
| [17:05] | Two, technically three? | 就俩 严格来说有三个 |
| [17:07] | But it was in high school, man, | 但那是高中的事了 |
| [17:08] | and all I had to do was just walk over and be like, | 那时我只用走过去说 |
| [17:10] | “Yo, you wanna see me throw this fish tank off the roof?” | “想看看我把这个鱼缸扔到房顶上去吗” |
| [17:14] | Then I hooked up with my best friend | 然后我就和我的死党搞在一起 |
| [17:16] | and she got knocked up by accident. | 不小心把她的肚子搞大了 |
| [17:18] | But can I be honest with you, Miggy to Will? | 但我能实话跟你说吗 只有米基和威尔知道 |
| [17:20] | Of course. Miggy to Will. | 当然了 只有米基和威尔知道 |
| [17:22] | Maybe it’s dumb, but I’m still sort of | 或许我这样有点傻 但我还是 |
| [17:25] | holding out hope for Jack’s mom, | 对杰克的妈妈抱有一点希望 |
| [17:26] | which has made meeting other girls tough. | 所以我很难走近别的女生 |
| [17:29] | Every time I go to download a dating app, | 每次我下载约会应用 |
| [17:31] | I spend five hours just looking at Zara’s Instagram. | 就会花五个小时去看佐拉的Ins |
| [17:34] | That is just… so beautiful. | 你这么做 很动人 |
| [17:37] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [17:37] | And also, I’m seething with rage. | 但我还是气炸了 |
| [17:40] | It was creative, though — “Mailmanning”? | 不过我还是挺有创意的吧 “快递员” |
| [17:42] | Better than my first idea. | 比我第一个主意好 |
| [17:44] | Lady-bugging. | 烦扰女士 |
| [17:45] | That’s where you just land on her shoulder. | 就是直接把头搁在女士的肩上 |
| [17:48] | What are you gonna do now, man? | 你现在怎么办 |
| [17:55] | Poppy? | 波比 |
| [17:57] | I can’t see. Are you here? | 我看不见 你在吗 |
| [18:00] | Are you sure you want to see me like this? | 你确定要看见我这个样子吗 |
| [18:02] | I’ll take my chances. | 赌一把吧 |
| [18:08] | Pardon me, Ms. Diana Ross. | 打扰了 戴安娜·罗斯女士 |
| [18:09] | I’m looking for my friend Poppy. | 我在找我的朋友波比 |
| [18:15] | What made you change your mind? | 你怎么改变心意了 |
| [18:17] | Well… | 这个嘛… |
| [18:19] | How lucid are you right now? | 你现在有多清醒 |
| [18:24] | I, uh… | 我… |
| [18:27] | I’ve always had a hard time with weakness. | 我一直都不知道怎么应对我的弱点 |
| [18:30] | My father had 11 kills in France, | 我父亲在法国消灭了11个敌人 |
| [18:33] | and now it’s 2018, | 现在是2018年了 |
| [18:35] | and I’m supposed to let a woman | 我却可以让一个女人 |
| [18:37] | peel me off the floor of a pharmacy. | 把我从药店地板上扶起来 |
| [18:40] | Where the hell’s the dignity in that, right? | 尊严何在 对吗 |
| [18:44] | Plus, your son tried to blackmail me | 还有 你儿子想勒索我 |
| [18:47] | because he knows that I think he has a pretty mom. | 因为他知道我觉得他妈妈很漂亮 |
| [18:53] | Oh, thank God. Okay. | 谢天谢地 |
| [19:08] | I know you’re not expecting me. | 我知道我来得有点唐突 |
| [19:10] | Honestly not trying to mailman you. | 我真的不是要快递员你 |
| [19:12] | – So it is a thing. – Just hear me out. | -还真有这回事 -听我说 |
| [19:14] | It means a lot that you’re willing to give up Dr. Dewan for me. | 你愿意为我放弃德万医生让我很感动 |
| [19:18] | But I thought about it, and… | 但我想了想 |
| [19:20] | God. | 天呐 |
| [19:22] | I’ve never met a man who needs to have sex more. | 我从没有遇见过这么需要性爱的人 |
| [19:25] | I mean, just look at you. | 瞧瞧你 |
| [19:26] | Where do you even find a T-shirt | 你在哪找到这么件T恤 |
| [19:28] | with sleeves that big and billowly | 袖子这么肥 袖口这么宽 |
| [19:32] | So, if you like her, | 所以 如果你喜欢她 |
| [19:35] | go for it. | 就去找她 |
| [19:37] | Hello, Angela. | 你好 安吉拉 |
| [19:41] | So you didn’t give her up? | 所以你没有放弃她 |
| [19:42] | – You just said it was okay. – No, it is not okay. | -你刚说了没关系 -不 有关系 |
| [19:43] | Well, I went to her house and I tried to break it off with her. | 我去了她家想跟她了断 |
| [19:45] | Obviously. I’m just trying to be nice. | 很明显 我只是出于礼貌 |
| [19:46] | – She’s a spitfire. – It’s not okay. | -她是个烈性子 -很有关系好不好 |
| [19:48] | – Angela. – Dr. Dewan. | -安吉拉 -德万医生 |
| [19:49] | We just had an opening on the Mist List. | 流感疫苗喷雾试用名单有名额了 |
| [19:51] | Do you want to comin tomorrow, say around 3:00? | 你明天来吗 大概三点 |
| [19:55] | I… | 我… |
| [19:59] | Yes, that would be great. | 好的 那太好了 |
| [20:01] | So everything worked out. | 一切妥妥的 |
| [20:06] | Looks like I’m gonna have to floss tonight. | 看上去我今晚要用牙线了 |
| [20:10] | Show yourself out? | 不送了 |
| [20:12] | We’re home, Bernie Sanders. | 我们回来了 伯尼·桑德斯 |
| [20:14] | Yeah, Mr. Free College. | 自由大学先生 |
| [20:15] | There better be a snack on the table. | 桌子上最好有零食 |
| [20:19] | Dad? | 爸爸 |
| [20:21] | Dad, are you here? | 爸爸 在吗 |
| [20:24] | “Ladies, I’ve gone to the woods to die. | “女士们 我已经去森林里等死了 |
| [20:27] | Don’t bother looking for me.” | 不要来找我” |
| [20:29] | “I’m sure raccoons and other hungry vermin | “我的身体现在肯定已经被浣熊和 |
| [20:32] | have torn apart my body by now | 饥饿的寄生虫撕碎了 |
| [20:33] | and that’s not how your old man wants to be remembered. | 你们的爸爸不想这样出现在你们的回忆中 |
| [20:36] | Anyway, you’ll be fine. | 不管怎样 你们会没事的 |
| [20:38] | You’re strong enough to raise yourselves. | 你们已经足够坚强 能自力更生了 |
| [20:40] | There’s bologna in the fridge. | 冰箱里有腊肠 |
| [20:42] | Goodbye.” | 永别了” |
| [20:45] | Daddy’s gone? | 爸爸死了 |
| [20:46] | But we’re just kids! | 可我们还是孩子呢 |
| [20:50] | Who’s weak now? | 现在是谁弱 |
| [20:52] | Damn it. Girls, get the wet vac! | 该死的 姑娘们 把湿吸尘器拿来 |
| [20:54] | – Getting it! – On the double! | -就来 -马上来 |