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单亲(Single Parents)第1季第14集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月13日 By jubentaici_movie_user 单亲(Single Parents)第1季第14集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10
S01E11
S01E12
S01E13
S01E14
S01E15
S01E16
S01E17
S01E18
S01E19
S01E20
S01E21
S01E22
S01E23
时间 英文 中文
[00:01] – All right, now, get in the car. – Can we check your oil? -好了 上车 -我们能检查你的机油吗
[00:03] I get pulled into the principal’s office, 我都被找去校长办公室了
[00:05] and now you want a reward? 你们现在还想要奖励
[00:07] The car will be going to the dealer to get the oil changed. 车子会送到经销商换汽油
[00:10] But that’s how they get you! 但他们就是这样让你上钩的
[00:11] And their coffee stinks. 而且他们的咖啡很难喝
[00:13] Oh, ho, Douglas. Looking sharp. 道格拉斯 很精神啊
[00:15] What are you doing here so early? 这么早来这干吗
[00:16] Apparently the girls were doing 据说姑娘们在体育馆
[00:17] some unsanctioned renovation on the gym. 进行了一些未经许可的装修
[00:19] Again. 第二次了
[00:20] So I got pulled out of a work function. 所以我今天把工作聚会推了
[00:22] I understand. 我了解
[00:24] Well, if they supplied their own lumber, 如果她们提供了木材
[00:25] you should probably be thanking me. 你们应该感谢我
[00:29] Right now? 现在吗
[00:31] Fine. 好吧
[00:33] Did I miss the shrimp guy? 我错过了送虾的人吗
[00:35] I don’t care who I’m talking to. 不管我在和谁说话
[00:36] The shrimp guy comes around, you tell me. 送虾的人来了 就得告诉我
[00:38] – A shrimp guy? – Yep. -送虾的人 -是的
[00:39] What kind of party was this? 那是什么聚会
[00:41] The National Dermatology Awards. 国家皮肤病学奖
[00:43] Tomorrow night, I’m getting a Dermy. 就在明晚 我会领个肤莱美奖
[00:46] Congratulations! 恭喜
[00:47] You know what? I’m more excited about the speech. 告诉你 让我更兴奋的是演讲
[00:49] But I can’t even work on it 但我根本没法准备
[00:50] because I’m dealing with this kid nonsense. 因为我还要解决孩子们留下的烂摊子
[00:52] And now the principal 现在校长
[00:53] wants me to sit down with the school psychologist. 希望我和学校的心理专家坐下来谈谈
[00:56] Dr. Rhonda. Oh, I love her. 朗达医生 我很喜欢她
[00:58] Best kitten posters in the biz. 她是这行最棒的
[00:59] Yeah, I’m not doing it. It goes against everything I believe in. 我不会去的 这有悖于我所相信的一切
[01:02] My parenting philosophy is simple. 我的育儿之道很简单
[01:04] If the car is running, never pop the hood. 车能开 就不要打开引擎盖
[01:07] You got to pop the hood once in a while. 偶尔还是要打开引擎盖的
[01:09] And nobody does it better than Dr. Rhonda. 而且朗达医生是最好的
[01:11] I value our weekly one-on-one sessions more than anything. 我最珍惜的就是和她每周一对一的谈话
[01:14] – You see her every week? – Oh, sure. -你每周都见她 -当然
[01:16] Afraid that’s the limit. 恐怕这是极限了
[01:17] Look, I know you’re skeptical, 我知道你有些怀疑
[01:18] but if you see Dr. Rhonda, 但如果你去见了朗达医生
[01:20] I promise she will make your life easier. 我保证她会让你的生活轻松很多
[01:23] Douglas, are your girls working on my car? 道格拉斯 你家孩子在修我的车吗
[01:25] No! I said no oil change! 不 我说了不准换机油
[01:27] You just said your car. 你只说不许给你的车换
[01:29] Next time, be more specific. 下次说得具体一点
[01:32] I’m mad at them, but I’m very excited for you. 我很生她们的气 但我也为你高兴
[01:34] You’re gonna be very happy with their work. 你会很满意她们的工作的
[01:45] So I said, “You’re gonna have to give me a reason 于是我说”如果你还想订雷司令
[01:47] to order more of this Riesling.” 你得给我个理由”
[01:49] I get it. 我明白了
[01:49] And then I woke up, so… 然后我就醒来了 所以
[01:51] Girl, you got to say up front if the story is a dream. 如果这故事是个梦 你得提前告诉我们
[01:54] Seriously. 说真的
[01:55] I would walk away right now 要不是必须在这等
[01:56] if I weren’t stuck waiting for Graham and his new friend, Alex. 格雷厄姆和他的新朋友艾利克斯我现在就走了
[01:59] He’s been talking about him non-stop. 格雷厄姆一直在说他
[02:01] Sounds like this Alex is a pretty big “get” for Graham. 听上去艾利克斯对于格雷厄姆是个大收获
[02:04] Alex? 艾利克斯
[02:06] Eye roll. 白眼
[02:07] Damn, dude. You sound jealous. 小家伙 你听上去很嫉妒啊
[02:08] I’m not. Trust me. 我没有 相信我
[02:09] Graham will be done with Alex 等我开始穿春季毛绒衫时
[02:10] just in time for my spring sweater unveiling. 格雷厄姆就不会和艾利克斯一起玩了
[02:12] Oh, well, I really hope so, 希望如此
[02:14] because Alex’s mom, Nora, 因为艾利克斯的妈妈 诺拉
[02:15] doesn’t do drop-off playdates, 不愿意一个人去参加亲子聚会
[02:17] so that means I’m forced to hang out 这就意味着我不得不
[02:18] with a total stranger for hours. 和一个陌生人待几个小时
[02:20] “Mom Playdates” are torture. “母子聚会”简直就是煎熬
[02:21] Hearing their parenting philosophies, 听着她们的育儿之道
[02:23] you telling them your life story, 你还得把自己的故事告诉她们
[02:24] all the fake laughing. 还有那些假笑
[02:26] “Okay. Okay.” It’s not okay. “好的 好的” 其实一点都不好
[02:28] It is all of the worst parts of a first date 第一次聚会要是没有酒
[02:31] – with none of the alcohol. – Yes. -可真是太难熬了 -是的
[02:32] God, I am so lucky that I met you when I did. 天哪 我第一次就遇到了你实在太走运了
[02:36] Cheerios, Angie. Next time, Cheerios. 麦片 安吉 下次喂他吃麦片
[02:38] Cheerios don’t melt. 麦片不会融化
[02:41] Crap. 该死
[02:44] Got you covered. 给你备着呢
[02:47] Keep it. 留着吧
[02:48] The whole pack? 一整包吗
[02:50] – Yeah. – that’s, like, the nicest thing -嗯 -这算是别人对我做过的
[02:52] that anyone’s ever done for me. 最贴心的事了
[02:53] Well, you look like you’re having a day. 好吧 你看起来今天过得挺累的
[02:56] You want to talk about it? 想聊聊吗
[02:58] This is Graham. 这是格雷厄姆
[02:59] This is Rory. 这是罗里
[03:01] Graham and I got more than wipes that day. 格雷厄姆和我那天得到的不仅仅是纸巾
[03:02] We got best friends. 我们找到了最好的朋友
[03:04] And a three-hour therapy session on my romantic blind spots. 还有正中我情感盲区的三小时的谈话
[03:07] I’d remember that. 我记着呢
[03:07] Man. I never go to the park. 老天 我从没去过公园
[03:09] Too much grass. 太多草了
[03:10] Should I be getting out there and finding Jack a best friend? 我该去那边给杰克也找一个最好的朋友吗
[03:12] No, no, no. Dad playdates don’t work like that. 不不不 父子聚会不是这样的
[03:14] Men are not looking for a connection. 男人们寻找的不是感觉
[03:16] Two dads will just sit there in silence, 两个爸爸只会静坐着
[03:17] on their phones, the entire time. 全程看手机
[03:19] Maybe they’ll start things off with some mild sports talk. 或许他们会从一些无关痛痒的体育聊起
[03:21] Yeah, like, uh, “Yo, you see that game? Crazy.” 比如”你看过那场比赛了吗 精彩”
[03:24] “Crazy game.” “精彩的比赛”
[03:25] It was crazy. 确实很精彩
[03:26] Hey, Mom. This is Alex and his mom. 妈妈 这是艾历克斯和他的妈妈
[03:30] Nora. 诺拉
[03:31] Looking forward to the playdate later. 很期待之后的亲子聚会
[03:33] That kid is tiny as hell. 这孩子真小啊
[03:35] How old is he? 他多大了
[03:36] I’m this many. 这么大
[03:37] Yo, that’s four fingers. 那是四根手指
[03:39] Graham’s friend is 4. 格雷厄姆的朋友只有四岁
[03:41] A real big get. 大大的收获哦
[03:44] Dr. Rhonda. 朗达医生
[03:45] I was referred to you by Will Cooper. 威尔·库珀推荐我来的
[03:47] Now, let’s never speak of him again. 接下来就别再提他了
[03:49] He’s not here, is he? 他不在这 是吗
[03:51] – What? – He’s very nice. -什么 -他人很好
[03:52] It’s just, as a parent, 只是作为家长
[03:53] he can be…very present. 他真是无处不在
[03:56] – You think? – So, Dr. Fogerty, before I share my findings, -你才发现吗 -福格蒂医生 在我说结果前
[03:59] I’d like to hear from you about your daughters. 我想听听你对你女儿们的看法
[04:01] Okay, well, they’re, uh, short and blond. 好吧 她们很矮 金色头发
[04:04] One of them has a thing under her eye. 其中一个眼睛下有点东西
[04:07] Not what they look like. 不是她们的长相
[04:08] Tell me about them as individuals. 跟我说说她们各自的性格
[04:10] Hard to say, you know? 很难说
[04:11] They always do everything together. 她们总是一起行动
[04:13] They’re, uh, always on the same page. 总是很同步
[04:15] They never fight. 从不打架
[04:16] Not to brag, 不是自夸
[04:17] but I’ve successfully fused them into one child — 但我成功地把她们融合成了一个孩子
[04:21] a child who spends all of her time 一个一直待在
[04:24] in the shed out back. 后院小屋的孩子
[04:25] And…what goes on in this shed? 她们都在小屋里干什么
[04:28] It — It’s their private space, 这是 这是她们的私人领地
[04:30] and I’ve always made it a point not to go back there. 我保证过自己不会去那里
[04:39] It’s none of my business. 不关我的事
[04:41] If I had to guess, I would say, mm — 如果让我猜的话 可能
[04:43] I don’t know — auto-body projects, cabinetry, 我不确定 她们可能在捣鼓汽车 木头家具
[04:46] maybe a mechanical bull. 或许是个机械牛
[04:48] Peanut shells all over the floor. 地上洒满了花生壳
[04:51] You know? 你懂吗
[04:52] These are all just guesses 这都是我的猜测
[04:53] that are based on the, uh, sounds 根据小屋里
[04:56] I — I hear coming from the shed. 发出的动静猜的
[04:59] You know, kids, right? 毕竟是孩子嘛 对吧
[05:01] While I’m tempted to dig into that, 虽然我很想了解一下
[05:03] I do want to share my findings. 我想告诉你我的发现
[05:05] You see, Dr. Fogerty, in my business, 福格蒂医生 干我这行
[05:07] nothing is as exciting as testing twins. 最有趣的就是测试双胞胎
[05:10] Really? 真的吗
[05:11] I’m not gonna lie, I’m flying right now. 我不骗你 我现在非常兴奋
[05:13] Your girls, while identical, are very different. 你的女儿们虽然长得一模一样 性格却大不同
[05:17] I ran some tests, 我做了些测试
[05:18] and while Amy is right on grade level, 艾米的很正常
[05:20] Emma presents as mathematically gifted. 而艾玛却有着数学天赋
[05:24] She’s acting out because she’s bored. 她捣蛋是因为她很无聊
[05:25] Okay. So my daughter’s a genius. Have we solved it? 好吧 我女儿是个天才 我们完事了吗
[05:28] No. Being a parent to a gifted child is a full-time job. 没有 做天才儿童的父母是一份全职工作
[05:31] Terrific. 好极了
[05:34] – It’s him. – I’m not here. -是威尔 -我不在这
[05:35] I’m just gonna let it go to voicemail. 那就直接转到语音信箱吧
[05:38] So, I guess I know now 现在我知道
[05:40] why you don’t do drop-off playdates. 你为什么要陪他一起来参加亲子聚会了
[05:42] Yeah. He doesn’t really go to the bathroom by himself yet. 嗯 他还不会自己上厕所
[05:45] Graham, I have to ask — how did you two meet? 格雷厄姆 我得问问 你俩怎么认识的
[05:48] Well, it happened last week. 上周的事
[05:50] You were late picking me up again. 你接我又迟到了
[05:53] We bonded immediately. 我们一见如故
[05:54] We had plenty of time, because, again, 一起玩了好久 因为 你懂的
[05:57] you were so late picking me up. 你来得实在太晚了
[05:59] Okay, we got it. Why don’t you go play? 行了 明白了 不如你们去玩吧
[06:02] So… 那么
[06:04] …where are you from? 你是哪里人
[06:06] I’m gonna stop you right there. 停 别说了
[06:07] We don’t need to be friends just ’cause our kids are friends. 虽然我们的孩子是朋友 但我们没必要做朋友
[06:10] We don’t? 真的吗
[06:11] Absolutely not. 千真万确
[06:12] I brought a ton of work, 我带了一堆工作
[06:13] and I’ve got my own drinks, my own snacks, 我带了自己的饮料 零食
[06:16] everything ready to go, so… 一切准备就绪 所以
[06:17] In fact, if you need anything, I’d prefer you just text me. 实际上 如果你有事 最好给我发短信
[06:19] So you’re suggesting that we do 所以你是说我们
[06:21] our own completely separate thing in the same space, 在同一个屋檐下各做各的
[06:24] like one of those combo Pizza Hut/Taco Bells? 就像合租一间店铺的必胜客和塔可钟一样吗
[06:28] I think I love you. 我觉得我爱上你了
[06:29] – Just… – Oh, yeah. -你就… -明白
[06:30] Oh, I will. 我会的
[06:32] Douglas, as the father of a gifted child, 道格拉斯 作为天才儿童的父亲
[06:35] please allow me to welcome you to the club. 请允许我欢迎你加入这个圈子
[06:37] I don’t want to be part of this club. 我根本不想进这个圈子
[06:38] Look, before you got involved, I had one kid. 你没掺和之前 我只有一个孩子
[06:41] And now, thanks to you, I have two. 而现在多亏了你 我有俩孩子了
[06:43] Plus, Dr. Rhonda wants me to drive to Sylmar next weekend 而且朗达医生想让我下周末开车希尔马
[06:46] for something called Fraction Fest. 参加一个什么分数节
[06:49] Hey, Soph, get this — turns out Emma’s a math genius. 苏菲 艾玛是个数学天才
[06:51] They’re going to Frac Fest, too! 他们也要去分数节
[06:52] Emma? She dips her chips in milk. 艾玛 她蘸牛奶吃薯片
[06:54] How did, uh, Amy take it? 那艾米接受得怎样
[06:56] It’s none of my business, 不关我的事
[06:57] but I would like to think that they’re handling it well. 但我就认为她们坦然接受了
[07:01] I guess you’re not an air hockey genius, either. 你也不是空气曲棍球高手吧
[07:03] What’d you just say to me? 你刚说什么
[07:05] Girls, I’m on the phone. 姑娘们 我在打电话呢
[07:06] Emma said I’m dumb. 艾玛说我蠢
[07:07] You’re not dumb, 你不蠢
[07:08] but God doesn’t give with both hands. 但鱼和熊掌不可兼得
[07:11] Know what I mean? 知道我的意思吗
[07:12] No. 不知道
[07:14] But I don’t like it. 但我不喜欢
[07:15] You just worry about being pretty, 你就关心那漂亮的脸蛋就行了
[07:17] ‘kay, hot stuff? 明白吗 辣妹子
[07:18] C-come on now. 别拌嘴
[07:19] You’re supposed to be a team, remember? 你俩是一伙的 记得吗
[07:21] You got to figure this out on your own. 你们得一起解决这事
[07:22] The old man’s right. 老家伙说得对
[07:24] There’s only one way out of this. 只有一个办法了
[07:28] Good. Now they’re fighting. They never fight. 好极了 她们打架了 她们从不打架的
[07:30] Tony, get in there. 托尼 劝架
[07:31] See, Will? 瞧 威尔
[07:32] This is what happens when you pop the hood. 这就是打开引擎盖的后果
[07:34] Well, I’m sure you want to roll up your sleeves 你肯定想撸起袖子
[07:36] and get your hands greasy, so I’ll leave you to it. 大干一场了 我就不打扰了
[07:38] Oh, no. Wrong. You’re part of this now. 不 你错了 这事你跑不了
[07:40] I have the Dermys tomorrow, 明天我还有肤莱美颁奖
[07:42] so clear your schedule and then — 清空你的计划然后
[07:43] Oh, God. I got to go. 老天 我得挂了
[07:45] Y-Yeah. Yeah, Tony’s on the ground. 这下好了 托尼倒地了
[07:47] – They — They got Tony. – How you like that, old man?! -她们打倒托尼了 -吃我一拳 老家伙
[07:50] Cover your face, Tony! 把脸挡上 托尼
[07:51] J-Just roll into a ball, like an armadillo. 缩成一团 像犰狳那样
[07:55] Angie. 安吉
[07:57] Don’t run off without giving me those playdate deeds. 别跑 先告诉我亲子聚会的细节
[08:00] So, how bad was it? 有多糟糕
[08:01] Is your face sore from all the fake smiling? 你的脸有没有因为假笑而酸痛
[08:03] Dude, it was actually kind of great. 姐们 其实非常棒
[08:05] It turns out Nora’s a dad-mom. 诺拉是个直男妈妈
[08:07] We barely even talked. 我们都没怎么说话
[08:08] I got so much done. 我效率超高
[08:10] I made a dentist appointment, I paid parking tickets, 我约了牙医 缴了停车罚单
[08:12] I finally got around to that “What color is the dress” thing. 终于抽出时间研究”裙子是蓝黑还是白金”
[08:14] We’re hanging out again today. 我们今天还要一起玩
[08:16] Well, what about our Wednesday hang? 那我们的周三之约呢
[08:17] Oh, my God. 天啊
[08:20] I knew I was forgetting something. 我就知道我忘了什么事
[08:21] I’m so sorry. Can we reschedule? 很抱歉 我们可以改天再约吗
[08:23] Reschedule our standing Wednesday hang? 改期我们常规的周三之约
[08:25] I got offer tickets to “The Bachelor: Women Tell All” 我得到了《单身汉 佳丽如是说》的票
[08:27] but I didn’t go because…it was a Wednesday. 但都没去 因为那天是周三
[08:30] This Nora must be something else. 这个诺拉肯定不是一般人
[08:32] Well, don’t be jealous of Nora. 别为诺拉吃醋
[08:33] She’s just a refreshing change of pace. 她只是新鲜的调剂
[08:36] Refreshing? 新鲜
[08:36] Well, yeah. I mean, come on, Poppy. 是啊 拜托 波比
[08:38] You know that hanging out with you can be…a lot. 你知道和你一起玩有点压力山大
[08:42] Okay, well, I see how it is. 我明白是怎么回事了
[08:43] Tell me how you really feel. 告诉我你的真实感受
[08:45] Sometimes we go deep, you know, 有时候我们掏心掏肺
[08:47] and it can be exhausting 聊我的恐惧
[08:48] talking about my fears and desires and my childhood, 欲望还有童年让我非常心累
[08:50] and sometimes I don’t want to think about 有时候我不想去思考
[08:52] if my parents loved each other. 我父母是否彼此相爱
[08:53] I just want to chill. 我只想放松放松
[08:56] Well, I hope you have fun being chill 我希望你享受放松的时光
[08:57] and cleaning out your inbox 跟那个小屁孩
[08:59] with that toddler and his rando mom. 和他的怪咖老妈待着 清理收件箱
[09:01] And the dress is blue. 那条裙子是蓝黑的
[09:07] Good news. 好消息
[09:08] The conflict resolution you ordered has arrived. 你下单的解决矛盾员已到达
[09:10] I hope you’re right, 我希望你能搞定
[09:11] because Amy has just put Emma 因为艾米刚刚把艾玛
[09:13] up for sale on Craigslist. 放到了分类网站上出售
[09:15] Lucky for you, I attended Dr. Rhonda’s three-day seminar 算你走运 我参加了朗达医生关于手足之争的
[09:18] on sibling rivalry, 三天研讨班
[09:20] and you don’t go to a convention like that and not take notes. 去听那样的讲座可不能不记笔记
[09:22] Am I right? 对吧
[09:23] You went to a sibling rivalry convention? 你参加了手足之争的讲座
[09:25] You only got one kid. 你只有一个小孩
[09:26] Well, we’re thinking about getting a dog. 我们正在考虑养一只狗
[09:28] My dad’s read, like, every parenting book there is. 我爸读完了所有的育儿书籍
[09:31] Wrote a few, too. 还写了几本
[09:32] Still unpublished. 仍未出版
[09:33] We don’t…need to advertise that. 我们不用把这个广而告之
[09:36] I’m just happy I finally get to use all that info 我只是很高兴终于可以用上
[09:38] that’s been rattling around in my brain. 一直在我脑中的知识了
[09:39] And then Amy will be all better 然后我在艾米身上
[09:41] once I sprinkle a little Dr. Rhon-dust on them. 用点朗达的技巧就行了
[09:43] O-Okay, listen. I don’t have to know how the sausage is made. 我不需要知道香肠是怎么做出来的
[09:46] Just make them one kid again. 让她们和好如初就行
[09:48] Now, I’m on my way to the Dermys, 我现在要去肤莱美
[09:49] where I will be roasting my peers 折磨我的同事们
[09:52] until a string quartet cuts me off. 直到我被弦乐四重奏打断
[09:54] When I get back, I want this fixed. 等我回来时 我希望已经解决了
[09:56] We are now in a trustful space. 我们现在处于可以信赖的空间
[09:58] We listen to each other. We don’t talk over each other. 我们聆听彼此 我们不用交谈
[10:01] We’re communicating without words, 不用语言交流
[10:04] which is what humans used to do before we invented language, okay? 正如人类在发明语言前做的那样 好吗
[10:07] Now, don’t break eye contact, 不要中断眼神的交流
[10:09] but think about the closeness you shared inside the womb. 想一想你们在子宫时多么亲密无间
[10:11] I should’ve eaten you when I had the chance! 我当时就该吃了你
[10:14] I would’ve eaten you! 要吃也是我吃了你
[10:16] Ladies, ladies! 姑娘们 姑娘们
[10:17] Okay, okay. 好了 好了
[10:20] Oh, boy. 天啊
[10:21] And even though I’m three minutes older than you, 即使我只比你大三分钟
[10:25] I value you as a sister and a peer. 我也珍惜你为我的妹妹和伙伴
[10:30] Thank you! 谢谢你
[10:31] And now, allow me to complete the compliment circle. 请允许我和你一起完成这个赞美圆圈
[10:35] This is what you guys were making for half an hour? 你们花了半小时就是在做这个吗
[10:38] I hate this. 我讨厌这个
[10:40] I hate this more than you do. 我比你更讨厌
[10:41] You know, you guys aren’t even really giving it a chance. 你们俩根本没在尝试和好
[10:43] – Shut up. – Shut up. -闭嘴 -闭嘴
[10:46] Putting them in the same shirt? 把她们装在一件衣服里
[10:49] This feels like a reach. 这好像没用
[10:51] I’m riffing, okay? 我在看笔记呢 好吗
[10:52] But look, at least they’re talking to each other. 不过至少她们在和对方说话了
[10:53] Get away from me, Average! 离我远点 普通人
[10:55] That’s it! 够了
[10:56] I want a divorce! 我要分手
[10:58] You can’t make it out there without me. 没有我你根本不行
[11:00] I’m the brains. 我才是大脑
[11:04] What’s important is they did that together. 重要的是 她们是一起把衣服撕烂的
[11:08] Yeah. 行吧
[11:10] So, according to Angie, hanging out with me 依照安吉所说 和我一起玩
[11:12] is like being on an elliptical with no headphones. 就像是不戴耳机踩椭圆机
[11:15] Ah, the elliptical. 椭圆机
[11:16] I like to call that one “The Double Slot Machine”. 我喜欢叫它”双槽老虎机”
[11:20] Miggy, do you think I’m a lot? 米基 你觉得我会让人压力山大吗
[11:21] What? No. No way. You’re, like — 什么 当然不会 你
[11:23] Ooh, wait. In what context? 等等 从哪方面来说
[11:25] Because in terms of talking with you and being with you, 因为如果是说和你聊天相处的话
[11:28] – you’re kind of a lot. – You are way off. I am chill as hell. -确实压力山大 -太离谱了 我很好相处
[11:30] I have a membership to a botanical garden. 我是一家植物园的会员
[11:32] – Oh, that is chill. – Exactly. -那很放松的 -没错
[11:34] In fact, I’m gonna stop by Angie’s playdate 我要去安吉的亲子聚会
[11:37] to show her just how chill I can be. 让她看看我可以多好相处
[11:40] Rory, you stay here. 罗里 你留在这
[11:41] What? Why should I have to miss the drama 什么 为什么我要错过精彩好戏
[11:43] and be stuck here with Miggy? 还要和米基待在这里
[11:44] Dude, you can come with me to the park, 哥们 你可以和我一起去公园
[11:45] and we can cruise for friends for Jack. 我们可以给杰克寻觅朋友
[11:47] There’s a father and son out there 有对父子不知道
[11:48] about to get wiped, and they don’t even know! 自己马上要交好运了
[11:50] That’s gonna end in disaster. 这肯定是场灾难
[11:52] So you know I’m in. 所以我非去不可
[11:55] You okay, Dad? 你还好吗 爸爸
[11:56] Yeah, I just feel depleted. 我只是觉得精疲力竭
[11:59] Did you take your B12? 你吃维生素B12了吗
[12:00] Of course. 当然
[12:02] You know, I know it might feel like we’re not helping, 我知道我们好像没帮上忙
[12:05] but I think we are. 但我觉得我们有
[12:06] I don’t hear any fighting. 我没听见她们争斗了
[12:07] You guys are still here? 你们还在这吗
[12:09] We’re done. 我们没事了
[12:10] Emma left. 艾玛走了
[12:12] Man, it was ugly. 天啊 场面很难看
[12:13] But in the end, I got the shed. 但最后 小屋归我了
[12:15] What did she get? 那她呢
[12:16] Wait, where did Emma go? 等下 艾玛去哪呢
[12:23] Watch out! 小心点
[12:24] On your left! 小心左边 我要超你了
[12:28] Representative. 代表
[12:29] Rep– Representative. 代表
[12:31] Hey, Nora? Did you unplug my coffee maker? 诺拉 你把咖啡机的插头拔了吗
[12:33] Yeah, my laptop was at 15%, 是的 我的笔记本只有15%的电了
[12:35] and you’re kinda hogging all the outlets. 你把所有的插头都给占了
[12:37] Representative. 代表
[12:38] Are those my slippers? 你穿的是我的拖鞋吗
[12:40] Oh, yeah. My feet were really cold, so… 是啊 我的脚很冰 所以…
[12:42] And who’s that guy? 还有那个人是谁
[12:44] That’s Lenny, my accountant. 兰尼 我的会计
[12:47] Oh, hi. Yes. 你好
[12:49] I would like to redeem my miles. 我想兑换我的里程
[12:51] I’ll get it. 我去开门
[12:53] I’m sure it’s for you. 肯定是找你的
[12:54] Hello, Angela. What’s good? I don’t even care. 你好 安吉拉 还好吗 我不在意
[12:57] Thank God you’re here. 还好你来了
[12:59] This playdate just took a really weird turn, 这个亲子聚会发生了奇怪的转折
[13:02] and I need to talk about it. 我得跟你聊聊
[13:03] Oh, sorry. I’m not here to get into anything. 抱歉 我来这不掺和你的任何事
[13:05] I just came over to quietly pay some bills at your table. 我只是来安静地在你的桌子上付下账单
[13:08] Okay, w-what is this? 你怎么了
[13:09] You’re not still mad at me, are you? 你不是还在生我的气吧
[13:10] No. No. 没有
[13:12] I’m just having a dream Wednesday, 我只是过个梦幻周三
[13:14] living my best life. 日子过得美美的
[13:15] Okay, you’re speaking like an Instagram caption, 好吧 你说的话就像图享的标题一样
[13:18] which is usually a pretty clear sign that you’re mad. 以我的经验 你肯定是在生气
[13:20] Can we talk about this? 能聊聊吗
[13:21] Sorry. Not really into talking. 抱歉 不是很喜欢聊天
[13:23] How can everyone afford noise-canceling headphones? 怎么人人都买得起降噪耳机
[13:29] “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, “晚上好 女士们先生们
[13:30] and thank you for this award. 谢谢你们把这个奖给了我
[13:31] It took a lot of hard work. 我为之付出了很多辛勤的劳动
[13:33] And now I would like to take this moment 现在 我想借此机会
[13:35] to recognize the people who did not help me, 向那些没有帮助过我的人表示感谢
[13:38] alphabetically. 按首字母排序
[13:39] Amy Adams, Paul Anka” — 艾米·亚当斯 保罗·安加
[13:41] There’s a child scootering up the middle aisle! 有个小孩在中间过道骑滑板车
[13:43] She plowed right through the gift-bag table! 她把放礼品袋的桌子撞翻了
[13:44] There’s moisturizer everywhere! 润肤霜撒了一地
[13:46] Oh, no. That sounds like one of my mine. 不妙 听起来是我的小孩
[13:49] Man. Pico was jammed. 天呐 路上可真堵
[13:53] Emma, I’m about to go on the stage. 艾玛 我要上台了
[13:54] – How did you even get here? – My hog. -你怎么来的 -滑板车啊
[13:56] But I told you to only scooter within a five-mile radius, 可我告诉过你只能在五英里直径范围内玩
[13:59] and you drove to Beverly Hills? 而你却骑到了比弗利山庄
[14:01] Who cares? 那又怎么样
[14:02] Amy hates me. 艾米讨厌我
[14:03] A-All right, look. Talk to me. 好了 跟我说说看
[14:05] Tony, this is a good chance 托尼 现在
[14:06] for you to hit my shoulders with the roller. 可以帮我粘毛了
[14:08] Amy said she wants a divorce. 艾米说她想跟我分手
[14:10] Look, she’s just being dramatic. 她只是有点小题大做
[14:12] All right, this is what I’m gonna do. We’re gonna go home. 好了 这么着 我们回家
[14:14] We’re gonna work all of this out after my speech. 等我发完言 把这件事彻底解决了
[14:16] And the cocktail hour. 还要等我喝完鸡尾酒
[14:18] And the after party. 等派对结束后
[14:19] I promised Tony I’d be his wingman. 我答应了托尼要帮他泡妞
[14:21] Dad, she’s never been this mad at me before. 爸 她从没这么生过我的气
[14:24] I’m scared. 我很怕
[14:25] You know, I don’t think she’s mad at you. 我觉得她不是生你气
[14:27] I think that she’s probably just…jealous. 我觉得她可能只是 嫉妒你
[14:30] You’re right. This is all my fault. 你说得对 都怪我
[14:32] I wish I wasn’t smart. 我不聪明就好了
[14:35] Come here. 过来
[14:37] I want you to hear me. 听我说
[14:38] This is not your fault. 这不怪你
[14:40] Okay? 好吗
[14:45] Tony, I need you to step in for me here. 托尼 你顶替我一下
[14:47] I want these word-for-word, 一个字也别落下
[14:49] and keep your politics out of it. 别发表政见
[14:51] Come on, Emma. 走吧 艾玛
[14:57] Emma is writing you a formal apology 艾玛要用有家族抬头的信笺
[14:59] on the family letterhead 给你写一封正式的道歉函
[15:01] for taking her scooter to Beverly Hills 为她没有告诉你就拿走滑板车
[15:03] without telling you. 骑去比弗利山庄道歉
[15:04] However inappropriate, she did make amazing time. 不管有多不对 她这一举确实惊人
[15:08] 100 Dr. Rhonda seminars would not have prepared me 一百场朗达医生的研讨会也无法让我
[15:10] for the things I’ve seen today. 对今天的事有准备
[15:12] I came in here thinking I was a parenting expert, 我来之前自认为自己是育儿专家
[15:14] and your children have humbled me. 你的孩子令我羞愧万分
[15:16] I let you down, bud. I failed you. I’m sorry. 我让你失望了 兄弟 我辜负了你 很抱歉
[15:19] Ah, stop beating yourself up. 别自责了
[15:20] I gave you an impossible task. 这是一项不可能完成的任务
[15:22] I wanted them to be one kid 我想让她们变成一个孩子
[15:24] so I wouldn’t feel like I was outnumbered. 这样好带一点
[15:27] But they’ve always been two kids. 但她们一直都是两个不同的孩子
[15:29] I’m the parent of two kids. 我是两个孩子的父亲
[15:32] You do know where Amy is, right? 你知道艾米在哪吧
[15:34] She moved herself out to the shed. 她搬进了小屋
[15:35] Asked us to forward her mail. 还让我们转发她的邮件
[15:38] Well… 那…
[15:40] I’ve been running from this for a very long time. 我逃避这个小屋已经很久了
[15:43] But I always knew this day would come. 但我知道这天终究会来临的
[15:52] You got this, big guy. 你可以的 大家伙
[15:54] It’s gonna go great. 没问题的
[15:58] Oh, great. What is your Wi-Fi password, Angela? 正好 你家无线网密码是多少 安吉拉
[16:01] Poppy, come on, all right? 波比 别闹了 好吗
[16:03] You need to help me. 你得帮帮我
[16:04] T-This woman, I-I don’t think she’s ever gonna leave. 这个女人 她好像不走了
[16:07] She put up a corkboard, and I just overheard her 她立了一块软木板 我刚偷听到她
[16:08] ordering way too much Indian food. 点了一大堆印度菜
[16:10] Sounds really bad, 听起来真的不妙
[16:11] but I’m not here to get personally involved. 但我不是来搅和你的事
[16:13] I’m just trying to give you that chill dad-mom energy 我只是想给你 你理想中的
[16:15] that you want from a friend. 不腻歪的直男母亲感觉
[16:17] I don’t want to be a lot. 我不想给你太多压力
[16:19] Look, Poppy, I’m sorry that I offended you. 波比 很抱歉我说话伤到了你
[16:24] But you know that you being a lot 但我知道 你的热心
[16:26] is one of the best things about you. 是你最大的优点之一
[16:28] The day that we met in the park and you gave me the wipes, 我们在公园相遇 你给了我湿纸巾的那天
[16:31] it changed my life. 改变了我的人生
[16:33] I love that we go deep, 我喜欢那些深刻的对话
[16:34] and I love that you know me so well. 我喜欢你非常了解我的感觉
[16:36] And I know you so well. 而我也很了解你
[16:38] I know you so well, 我很了解你
[16:39] I know you’re not listening to music in those headphones. 我知道你耳机里没放歌
[16:44] Okay. Fine. 好吧
[16:46] I’m not. 我没放
[16:47] – They’re not even plugged in to anything. – I know! -我连耳机线都没插 -我就知道
[16:48] I know I’m overreacting. I get jealous sometimes. 我确实反应过度了 我偶尔也会嫉妒
[16:52] Truth is, I love being your only mom friend. 其实我很乐意做你唯一的妈妈闺蜜
[16:54] And you have nothing to worry about. 而你什么都不用担心
[16:56] – You know, I really don’t like…people. – I know. -我和别人真的合不来 -我知道
[17:00] Now, will you please help me get this woman out of here? 你可以帮我把这个女人弄出去吗
[17:03] She’s gone through all the generic hummus, 她把普通鹰嘴豆泥都吃完了
[17:04] and now she’s about to hit 马上就要开始进攻
[17:05] the good stuff in the back of the fridge. 放在冰箱后面的好东西了
[17:07] Got you covered. 交给我吧
[17:08] I’m going in, 老娘出手
[17:09] and I’m gonna go… deep. 全都有
[17:12] Yeah, I just need to speak to whoever’s above you. 我要和你的上司说话
[17:14] I don’t care if it’s the president of the airline, 就算是航空公司总裁都行
[17:16] so, okay? 懂了吗
[17:17] Okay, can we talk about what’s going on here? 我们能谈谈现在的情况吗
[17:18] What’s going on is that I’ve been on hold for an hour, 情况就是他们已经让我等了一小时
[17:20] so I can’t hang up the phone. 所以我不能挂电话
[17:22] I see everything you’re going through right now. 我明白你现在的情况
[17:24] You need to redeem these miles 你要兑换里程
[17:26] because the walls are closing in on you at home 因为家里的四岁熊孩子逼得你
[17:27] with the 4-year-old and you’ll go anywhere. 去哪都行
[17:30] In fact, you’ll even set up shop at a stranger’s house 你甚至愿意在陌生人的家里工作
[17:33] because it doesn’t matter where you go, 因为不论你去哪儿
[17:34] as long as you get that escape. 只要能解脱就好
[17:38] Ricky said he would help with childcare, 里奇说他会帮我养孩子的
[17:41] but where is he, you know? 但他人呢
[17:43] He’s just out seeing improv shows every single night of the week. 他每晚都出去看即兴表演
[17:46] Come on now, Ricky! 不是吧 里奇
[17:48] You just gonna make this woman a prisoner in her own home 你让这个女人被囚禁在自己的家里
[17:50] for some improv?! 就为了看即兴表演
[17:53] I’m sorry. I’m sorry. 对不起 对不起
[17:54] I don’t really get to talk about this stuff normally, so… 我平时没机会说这些
[17:57] I’m here at the Winebrary, in case you ever need me. 我在酒吧工作 有需要就找我
[18:00] But right now, you have to get up out this woman’s house, 但现在 你必须离开她家
[18:02] take yourself home, and hear about some improv. 回你家去 听听即兴表演
[18:05] Alex, time to go, buddy. 艾利克斯 该走了
[18:07] Sorry for taking over. 抱歉占用了你家
[18:09] You set up a wonderful workspace. 你的工作区布置得很好
[18:13] Thank you? 谢了
[18:22] Look what the cat dragged in. 看看谁来了
[18:26] This place has running water, huh? 这里还接了自来水
[18:30] And A.C.? 还有空调
[18:31] Relax. It’s all permitted. 别紧张 都是合规的
[18:33] Listen, I know it doesn’t always seem like 听着 我知道平时
[18:35] I want to talk about what’s going on with you, 我好像不愿意谈你的状况
[18:38] but, uh, right now, I’m gonna do it anyway. 但是现在 我要和你谈谈了
[18:41] Your sister is really upset. 你的姐妹很难过
[18:44] She’s upset? What about me? 她难过 那我呢
[18:47] I knew we would have to do different things sometimes. 我知道我们不能总是统一行动
[18:50] I just didn’t think Emma would be special 我只是不觉得艾玛很特别
[18:52] and I wouldn’t. 而我很平凡
[18:53] Oh, I know how you feel. 我明白你的感受
[18:55] My sisters Donna and Lenore, may they rest in peace, 我的姐妹唐娜和丽诺尔 愿她们安息
[18:58] were synchronized-skating stars. 生前是同步滑冰明星
[19:00] Everyone in the family fawned over them, 所有家人都在讨好她们
[19:02] and no one cared about my drawings. 没有人在意我的画作
[19:04] Bowl of fruit after bowl of fruit ignored. 不管我画多少水果盘都没用
[19:07] You used to draw? 你以前会画画
[19:09] Oh, all the time. 整天都在画
[19:10] Most dermatologists are failed architects. 多数皮肤科医生都是失意的建筑师
[19:13] Nobody knows that, but it’s true. 这鲜为人知 却是真的
[19:15] I drew all this crap. 这些垃圾是我画的
[19:18] You dr– amy, these — 你画的… 艾米 这…
[19:20] these are exceptional! 这些都是杰作啊
[19:22] 手脚延长器 夹钳 灯具 电池组 纸箱 电缆
[19:22] Schools don’t test for this. 学校不考这些
[19:24] D-Do you realize that every project 你知不知道
[19:26] that you and your sister ever made 你们姐妹的每一个发明
[19:28] started with your imagination? 都源自你的想象力
[19:30] That’s right. 没错
[19:33] Hey, there it is — the air hockey table. 在这儿呢 空气曲棍球桌
[19:35] Last thing we made together before the split. 这是我们分手前的最后一个共同作品
[19:38] When we’re building things, it’s like nothing else matters. 我们制作东西的时候 好像一切都不重要了
[19:42] But she’s a genius now, 但现在她是天才
[19:44] and I’m just a ding dong with the same face. 而我只是和她长得一模一样的傻子
[19:47] No. No, you’re not. 不 不 你不是
[19:49] Listen to me. 听我说
[19:51] You and your sister are special 你和你姐妹
[19:53] in two totally different ways, 各有各的特别之处
[19:55] and you make a great team together. 你们是绝佳的搭档
[19:58] And I’m gonna remind you of that. 我要让你们记住这一点
[20:06] You got to sign that out! 拿工具要签字
[20:08] So? How’d it go? 怎么样
[20:10] Great. 很好
[20:12] Dad! What are you doing?! 爸 你在干什么
[20:13] What? I can’t hear you! 什么 我听不见
[20:15] Oh, no! What are we gonna do? 完了 怎么办
[20:18] I guess I’ll just have to call the handyman. 看来我得找勤杂工来了
[20:21] He’s all thumbs and butt crack. 他什么都不会
[20:23] Oh, then, what are we gonna do? 那该怎么办呢
[20:27] You get the clamps. 你去拿钳子
[20:28] You get the nuts. 你去拿螺母
[20:32] And the Dermy for Father of the Year 肤莱美年度最佳父亲得主是
[20:33] goes to Douglas Fogerty. 道格拉斯·福格蒂
[20:35] Shut up, Will. Sit down. 闭嘴 威尔 坐下
[20:37] You’re about to see two geniuses at work. 你们将要见证两名天才的工作
[20:42] I just don’t get it. 我不明白
[20:43] Emma’s a math genius? 艾玛是数学天才
[20:45] Last week I caught you licking a brick. 上周我看到你在舔砖头呢
[20:46] Don’t knock it till you try it. 没试过就不要随便下结论
[20:48] Professor Sydney Raines. 西德尼·雷恩斯教授
[20:50] Lionel Richie. Rustic Canyon Golf Course… 莱昂内尔·里奇 乡村峡谷高尔夫球场
[20:53] your greens just play too fast. 你们那儿的新手打得太快了
[20:55] What is this list again? 这是什么名单来着
[20:56] His enemies. 他的敌人
[20:57] It’s all over the map. 哪的人都有
[20:58] What did the Budweiser horses ever do to him? 百威明星马怎么招惹他了
[21:01] I knew you’d be back. 我就知道你会回来
[21:02] Right on time for spring sweater season. 正好赶上春季毛绒衫时节
[21:05] What’s trending? 流行趋势是什么
[21:06] One word… alpaka. 一个词 羊驼毛
[21:08] Kids, this is supposed to be about me right now, alright? 孩子们 现在应该关注的是我
[21:11] It’s not too late to add some names to the list. 我随时可以在名单里加几个名字
[21:13] Alright everybody. Let’s listen up. 好了 各位仔细听
[21:14] Here comes the S’s. 到S开头了
[21:15] Sam’s club. 山姆俱乐部
[21:17] Santa Monica Boulevard. 圣莫尼卡大道
[21:18] But only between 9:00 A.M. and 11:00 A.M. 只有上午9点到11点
[21:21] Siegfried and not Roy. 齐格弗里德 没有罗伊
[21:23] Roy, you are a peach. 罗伊 你太可爱了
单亲

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