| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | 无声竞拍就在今晚 收益捐给山顶小学 捐赠的最后机会 | |
| [00:02] | Okay, Jan. | 简 |
| [00:04] | What am I looking at? | 这是什么 |
| [00:05] | I call it “Jan vs. Predator.” | 我称之为《简对战捕食者》 |
| [00:07] | And who comes out on top? | 谁赢了 |
| [00:09] | Predator. | 捕食者 |
| [00:10] | Thanks so much, Jan. | 非常感谢 简 |
| [00:14] | Feels like I’m trapped in “Antiques Roadshow: Harrisburg.” | 感觉我被困在《古董巡展:哈里斯堡》了 |
| [00:17] | Oh, thank God! A friend! | 谢天谢地 看到朋友了 |
| [00:19] | Here to bail me out with the perfect, unique, | 终于有完美独特 |
| [00:21] | well-thought-out donation. | 精心考量的捐赠了 |
| [00:23] | – Steak knives? Wow. – I’m sorry. | -牛排刀 -对不起 |
| [00:25] | Work has just gotten so crazy, I didn’t have time to curate | 工作太忙了 我没时间整理 |
| [00:27] | one of my signature silent auction baskets. | 我的无声拍卖篮 |
| [00:29] | And I’m not going to donate a non-curated basket. | 我可不能捐赠没整理过的篮子 |
| [00:32] | Give the man a break. | 放他一马吧 |
| [00:33] | He does the weather every time Guy McCormick is sick. | 每次盖伊·麦考米克生病他都得播报天气 |
| [00:35] | And, let’s face it, he’s sick, like, three times a week. | 面对现实吧 他一周病三次呢 |
| [00:38] | “Sick”? Please. The man drinks. | 生病 拜托 那人是好酒 |
| [00:39] | Mr. McCormick has checked into a facility. | 麦考米克先生已经住院了 |
| [00:41] | That’s all I’m allowed to say. | 我能说的只有这么多 |
| [00:42] | But it does mean that I’m going to be doing the weather | 但这的确意味着我要连续28晚 |
| [00:44] | for the next 28 nights. | 播报天气了 |
| [00:46] | Will, I’m very happy that you’ve become a local celebrity. | 威尔 我很高兴你成为当地名人 |
| [00:49] | – No! – But that doesn’t help me right now. | -得了吧 -但你现在帮不了我 |
| [00:51] | Right now, what I need from you is an auction item. | 现在我需要你给我一个拍卖品 |
| [00:54] | Are you blind? | 你瞎了吗 |
| [00:55] | Will is the item! | 威尔就是啊 |
| [00:56] | Celebrity is the most precious metal we have. | 名人是我们最珍贵的金属 |
| [00:58] | It’s our Vibranium! | 这就是我们的泛合金 |
| [01:00] | You mean I’m like Black Panther? | 你是说我像黑豹 |
| [01:01] | – No. – Sorry. | -不 -抱歉 |
| [01:02] | It was in front of my face the whole time. | 你一直就在我眼皮底下 |
| [01:04] | Will, you are the item! | 威尔 你就是拍卖品 |
| [01:06] | Can I put you in the auction? | 你可以参加拍卖吗 |
| [01:07] | You mean like be someone’s butler for a month? Sure. | 你是说当一个月的管家吗 好啊 |
| [01:10] | No, but it’s weird that you’d be okay with that. | 不是 但你居然会同意这个 |
| [01:12] | I mean a lunch. | 我是说午饭 |
| [01:13] | A meal with a local 10:00 P.M. fill-in weatherman | 和晚上十点替补气象员吃顿饭 |
| [01:15] | could be just the pop this auction needs. | 算是这次拍卖会的亮点了 |
| [01:17] | Maybe. | 也许吧 |
| [01:19] | I mean, my star is on the rise. | 我的事业正在起步 |
| [01:21] | Finally got my own lapel mic, | 我终于有翻领话筒了 |
| [01:23] | unlimited access to the green screen, | 随便进主播室 |
| [01:25] | and I’m really honing in on my on-air laugh. | 我真的很喜欢我直播时的笑声 |
| [01:29] | Back to you, Julie. | 交还给你 朱莉 |
| [01:32] | – I’m in! – Yes! | -我同意 -太棒了 |
| [01:34] | Blank CDs? | 空光盘 |
| [01:35] | Keep walking. Don’t even set those down. | 走吧 别给我们 |
| [01:37] | Do better, Celeste! | 像点样 塞莱斯特 |
| [01:46] | “Gift card — balance unknown.” | 礼品卡 余额未知 |
| [01:48] | – D’Amato, you donated this? – Yeah. | -D·阿玛托 你捐这个 -是的 |
| [01:50] | I have no idea how much is on there. | 我不知道里面有多少钱 |
| [01:52] | Could be $250, could be $12. | 可能是250 也可能是12 |
| [01:54] | – That’s what makes it so exciting to bid on! – Yeah. | -这样拍卖才有意思啊 -嗯 |
| [01:56] | I’m jealous of everyone here. | 我太羡慕这里的人了 |
| [01:58] | – What’d you donate? – This. | -你捐了什么 -这个 |
| [02:00] | I can’t wait to see what someone’s willing to pay for $100. | 我很想看看这100块能拍出多少钱 |
| [02:04] | Oh, well, if the bidding’s low, I’m gonna jump in. | 如果价格低 我就拍 |
| [02:06] | Today I got the news that every parent dreads most. | 今天我听到了父母最害怕的消息 |
| [02:09] | I have signed up to participate in the sport of ice hockey. | 我报名冰球了 |
| [02:18] | It’s the most expensive sport on the plant, | 这是世界上最贵的运动 |
| [02:20] | unless you count fencing, which I don’t. | 除非算上击剑 反正我不算 |
| [02:21] | Yeah, diving’s the dream. No gear of any kind. | 嗯 潜水是梦想 不算装备 |
| [02:24] | It’s 1/5 of a normal sports uniform. | 花的钱只有普通运动服的五分之一 |
| [02:27] | Just a Speedo and a towel. | 只要一件泳衣和一条毛巾 |
| [02:29] | And I already have towels. | 我已经有毛巾了 |
| [02:30] | Listen, if Pee-Wee Sports is driving you to financial ruin, | 如果孩子的体育运动让你陷入财务危机 |
| [02:34] | then you’re doing something wrong. | 那就是你的问题了 |
| [02:35] | Let’s take a look at your budget. | 咱们看看你的预算 |
| [02:37] | If you even have one. | 前提是你有 |
| [02:39] | I’m a single mother living in | 我是一个 |
| [02:40] | the second most expensive city in the country. | 住在全国第二贵城市的单身母亲 |
| [02:42] | I budget. | 我很持家 |
| [02:43] | I budget hard. | 非常持家 |
| [02:48] | Am I allowed to be here? I mean, what are the rules? | 我可以来这吗 有什么规矩 |
| [02:50] | Is it like a candidate not being allowed | 有那种候选人 |
| [02:52] | within 100 feet of a polling place or — | 不能站在投票站100英尺内的规矩吗 |
| [02:54] | Wait, nobody’s bid on me yet? | 等等 还没人拍我 |
| [02:56] | The auction just started, | 拍卖才刚刚开始 |
| [02:57] | and no one goes near the big-ticket items | 有钱人才会 |
| [02:59] | until they’re at least two Cabs deep. | 来看昂贵物品的 |
| [03:01] | And you’re a big-ticket item. | 而你是昂贵物品 |
| [03:02] | – Cool. – Yeah. | -好 -嗯 |
| [03:04] | You hear that? We’re the big-ticket item. | 听到了吗 我们是昂贵物品 |
| [03:05] | All right, Dad. | 爸 |
| [03:06] | Self-directed pep talk over. Take a lap. | 自我鼓励结束 跑一圈吧 |
| [03:09] | Yeah, yeah, a lap. That’s a good idea. | 嗯 一圈 好主意 |
| [03:18] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [03:18] | My dad’s self-esteem pendulum is very lubricated. | 我爸的自尊钟摆非常润滑 |
| [03:21] | It swings far and fast in both directions. | 摆动得幅度又大 速度又快 |
| [03:23] | And now that he’s on TV, it’s even worse. | 现在他上了电视 情况就更糟了 |
| [03:26] | Sophie, the promo’s starting! | 苏菲 广告要开始了 |
| [03:28] | It’s starting! | 开始了 |
| [03:29] | Who is KZOP at 10:00? | KZOP十点嘉宾都有谁 |
| [03:31] | It’s news with anchor Julie Fong-Nunez! | 新闻主播朱莉·方-努涅斯 |
| [03:34] | Investigative journalism with Loni McGraw! | 调查报导洛尼·麦格劳 |
| [03:37] | “What’s Yummy Now?” with Chef Martin Bullrock! | 《美食时刻》马丁·布洛克厨师 |
| [03:40] | Sports with Chet Corners! | 体育台切特·科纳斯 |
| [03:42] | And weather! | 以及天气预报 |
| [03:43] | KZOP at 10:00. We got you. | 十点KZOP 不见不散 |
| [03:46] | Leave me. | 让我静静 |
| [03:48] | Ooh, I love that sun. | 我很喜欢那个太阳 |
| [03:49] | You can tell by his sunglasses that he’s nasty. | 光看墨镜都知道他很下流 |
| [03:52] | That sun made my dad cry. | 那个太阳让我爸爸哭了 |
| [03:54] | Poppy, someone has to bid on him. | 波比 必须有人来拍他 |
| [03:56] | This isn’t just a silent auction. | 这不是无声竞拍 |
| [03:58] | This is a man’s life. | 这是人命关天的大事 |
| [03:59] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [04:00] | Crap. | 废物 |
| [04:01] | Garbage. | 垃圾 |
| [04:02] | Trash. | 渣滓 |
| [04:03] | Garbage. | 垃圾 |
| [04:04] | Yoga pants for a dog?! | 给狗狗穿的瑜伽裤 |
| [04:06] | Stop dressing your dogs, America. | 别给狗狗穿衣服了 美国 |
| [04:08] | Dogs should be naked. | 狗就该光着 |
| [04:12] | What do we have here? | 这是什么 |
| [04:15] | Oh, my gosh, you poor thing. | 我的天 可怜的家伙 |
| [04:18] | It’s okay. It’s okay. | 没关系 没关系 |
| [04:19] | You don’t have to be scared anymore. | 你不必担惊受怕了 |
| [04:20] | I will make you fly again. | 我会让你再次飞翔 |
| [04:23] | Do you girls have any idea what this is? | 你们知道这是什么吗 |
| [04:24] | A hat. | 一顶帽子 |
| [04:25] | A hat? | 一顶帽子 |
| [04:27] | A hat?! | 一顶帽子 |
| [04:28] | This is a beret. | 这是贝雷帽 |
| [04:29] | French sophistication distilled into one timeless piece of headwear. | 法国的复杂性就浓缩在这顶永恒的头饰中 |
| [04:34] | And it will be mine. | 它是我的 |
| [04:36] | Miggy, shut up. This is important. | 米基 闭嘴 这很重要 |
| [04:37] | I need an adult to bid on this beret for me. | 我要找个成年人替我拍这顶贝雷帽 |
| [04:40] | That thing? Why? | 这个 为什么 |
| [04:42] | Geez, Grandpa. | 天啊 老爷爷 |
| [04:43] | Because, like Monica Lewinsky, | 因为 就像莫尼卡·莱温斯基 |
| [04:45] | K-pop singer Min-ho, and Jack Nicholson as the Joker, | 韩星歌手崔珉豪 杰克·尼科尔森饰演的小丑 |
| [04:48] | I have style. You don’t. | 我有风格 你没有 |
| [04:49] | I adopt early. You don’t. | 我超前 你没有 |
| [04:51] | I lead, and you… | 我引领潮流 而你 |
| [04:52] | have no taste. | 毫无品味 |
| [04:53] | If you’re gonna be mean about it, forget it. | 如果你这么刻薄 那算了 |
| [04:55] | Your mom can bid on it. | 你妈可以帮你拍 |
| [04:56] | Please? | 求你了 |
| [04:57] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [04:58] | Follow me, girls. | 女孩们 跟我来 |
| [04:59] | Jocelyn’s dad is auctioning one of his “Ceramics,” | 乔斯林的爸爸在拍卖一件”陶瓷” |
| [05:01] | and I have thoughts. | 我有点儿想法 |
| [05:05] | Okay, rent looks good. | 租金看着没问题 |
| [05:06] | What is this tab labeled? | 这个选项是什么 |
| [05:07] | That’s my convenience tax. I can’t touch that. | 那是我的便利税 不能动 |
| [05:09] | What’s a convenience tax? | 什么是便利税 |
| [05:11] | It’s money I spend to make my life a little easier. | 为了让我生活更便利而多花的”税” |
| [05:13] | I — I’m too busy juggling Graham | 我整天忙于格雷厄姆 |
| [05:15] | and my full-time job and all my hobbies, | 全职工作还有爱好 |
| [05:17] | like breathing and sleeping and drinking water, | 就像呼吸 睡觉 喝水一样重要 |
| [05:19] | so sometimes I pay a little more for certain necessities. | 所以有时我会为一些必需品多花点钱 |
| [05:22] | What kind of necessity? Like food? | 哪些必需品 食物吗 |
| [05:24] | Delivery, yep. | 外卖 |
| [05:25] | Lots of food delivery, some expedited shipping. | 很多外卖 一些快递 |
| [05:28] | Maybe I’ll park in a red zone here or there or here again. | 也许我会把车停在禁停区 |
| [05:30] | But trust me, it’s all very, very necessary. | 但是相信我 这都是非常非常必要的 |
| [05:33] | Is it necessary to pay $8 for a quart of gas station milk? | 在加油站花八块买一夸脱的牛奶很必要吗 |
| [05:37] | If all I need is gas and milk, I’m not making two stops. | 如果我只要汽油和牛奶 我就不用跑两个地方 |
| [05:40] | Yeah, but it’s just not milk. | 但不只是牛奶 |
| [05:41] | You’re paying gas station prices for toilet paper, batteries… | 你在加油站买厕纸 电池 |
| [05:45] | salsa? | 调味汁 |
| [05:46] | Hey, when the grocery store starts selling gas, | 如果杂货店开始卖汽油了 |
| [05:47] | they’ll start seeing my salsa dollars again. | 我就会去那里买调味汁 |
| [05:49] | O-Okay, I can’t take this anymore. | 我受够了 |
| [05:51] | I’m gonna show you how to turn your “Convenience tax” | 我要教你如何将”便利税” |
| [05:54] | into hockey pads. | 变为冰球护具 |
| [05:55] | But I’m gonna have to take over your life. | 但我要掌管你的生活 |
| [05:57] | Fine. My life is all yours. | 好吧 你的生活都归你 |
| [05:59] | But I must warn you — | 但我必须警告你 |
| [06:01] | there’s this guy in my life that’s gonna be a real pain in your ass. | 我的生活中有一个人 会让你非常头疼 |
| [06:05] | His name is Douglas. | 他叫道格拉斯 |
| [06:07] | You worked hard for that one. | 你尽力了 |
| [06:09] | I’m gonna let you enjoy it. | 我会让你享受生活的 |
| [06:13] | All right, did two laps — | 跑了两圈 |
| [06:14] | a counterclockwise and a clockwise. | 逆时针一圈 顺时针一圈 |
| [06:16] | I just don’t want to overdevelop one thigh. | 我不想让一条大腿太粗壮 |
| [06:17] | Well, I hope those symmetrical thighs are ready | 希望那对称的大腿已经准备好 |
| [06:19] | to sit down and have lunch with an adoring fan, | 和忠实粉丝共进午饭了 |
| [06:21] | because you are getting a lot of bids. | 因为拍你的人很多 |
| [06:23] | Really? I am? | 是吗 |
| [06:25] | Oh, that’s such a relief. | 那就好 |
| [06:27] | Okay, so, how much am I going for? | 有多少人拍我了 |
| [06:28] | Three figures? Four? What’s the gender breakdown? | 上百 还是上千 男女比例多少 |
| [06:31] | You know what? | 算了 |
| [06:32] | I don’t want to know. | 我不想知道 |
| [06:34] | – Lap. – That’s a good idea. | -跑圈去 -好主意 |
| [06:37] | He hasn’t gotten a single bid. | 根本没人拍他 |
| [06:39] | What if we change it to | 如果把主题换成 |
| [06:40] | “Lunch and Hike with KZOP’s Will Cooper, | 和KZOP的威尔·库珀远足午饭 |
| [06:42] | Who Will Also Hand Detail Your Car”? | 他还会保养你的车 |
| [06:43] | Or “Lunch and a dot, dot, dot, question mark” | 或者改成”午饭…?” |
| [06:45] | Kind of implying that it starts with lunch, | 暗示午饭只是一个开始 |
| [06:47] | but where it goes from there is unwritten. | 但之后就没准了 |
| [06:49] | You’re talking about my father. | 你这是在说我爸 |
| [06:50] | Sorry. It’s just really easy | 对不起 有的时候 |
| [06:51] | to forget that you’re a child sometimes. | 真的很容易忘记你只是个小孩 |
| [06:53] | I know. | 我知道了 |
| [06:54] | I’ll just bid on him. | 我来拍他 |
| [06:56] | No! That’s a pity bid! | 不行 这是同情标 |
| [06:58] | We need a real person to win this thing. | 我们需要真正愿意的人来拍他 |
| [07:00] | – Final bids, please. Final bids. – Oh, God, I’m blanking! | -最后报价 -天 我脑子一片空白 |
| [07:02] | I can’t think of a single real person who isn’t me. | 我想不出除我以外还愿意的人 |
| [07:04] | Who should I put down? | 我该找谁 |
| [07:05] | Someone who eats lunch | 一个吃午饭 |
| [07:06] | and can act like a fan of KZOP’s Will Cooper. | 而且能装成KZOP威尔·库珀的粉丝 |
| [07:08] | I don’t know any actors! | 我又不认识演员 |
| [07:10] | Actually… | 其实吧 |
| [07:12] | wait a minute. | 等一下 |
| [07:16] | Dr. Biscuits, have I got a role for you. | 比斯奇思博士 我给你准备了一个角色 |
| [07:19] | I’m listening. | 洗耳恭听 |
| [07:25] | I’m sorry, Ms. Banks. I won’t play a fan. | 对不起 班克斯女士 我不会演粉丝 |
| [07:28] | Oh, please, Dr. Biscuits. I — | 拜托 比斯奇思博士 |
| [07:30] | I will play a superfan! | 我会演一个忠实粉丝 |
| [07:32] | Thank you. Thank you so much. | 多谢 感激不尽 |
| [07:35] | Now, his daughter goes to school here, | 他女儿在这上学 |
| [07:36] | so you’ve probably already met. | 你们可能已经见过面了 |
| [07:38] | But I was thinking that you could say — | 不过我觉得你可以说 |
| [07:40] | I will work out my own backstory, thank you. | 我自己琢磨故事背景吧 谢谢 |
| [07:43] | Okay. Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [07:44] | Well, I guess all you need to know is that his name is — | 你只要知道他的名字叫 |
| [07:48] | I will do my own research, thank you. | 我自己去调查 谢谢 |
| [07:51] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [07:52] | Well, is there anything you need from me at all or — | 如果需要我做什么 |
| [07:54] | I need an item of his clothing, recently worn. | 我需要一件他最近穿过的衣服 |
| [07:56] | Or a photograph. | 或者一张照片 |
| [07:58] | I got a photo of him on my phone. | 我手机上有张他的照片 |
| [08:00] | Please, print it out. | 请打印出来 |
| [08:01] | Place it in an unmarked manilla envelope | 把照片放进一个没有标记的牛皮信封 |
| [08:03] | on the windscreen of the car | 然后放在汽车的挡风玻璃上 |
| [08:05] | bearing this bumper-plate number | 车牌号如下 |
| [08:06] | in precisely one week from today. | 一周后放 |
| [08:08] | There’s a printer outside, | 外面就有一台打印机 |
| [08:09] | so I’ll just slide it under your door. | 我直接把照片塞你门缝吧 |
| [08:10] | Thank you so much. | 非常感谢 |
| [08:14] | Very well! | 好吧 |
| [08:16] | You know, when I was in med school, | 我在医学院的时候 |
| [08:17] | I always prided myself | 一直很自豪 |
| [08:18] | on being as fiscally anal as I was poor. | 自己可以像穷人一样精打细算 |
| [08:22] | They used to call me “Nurse Spreadsheets.” | 他们以前叫我”护士的电子表格” |
| [08:27] | Right, my budget thing. | 对了 我的预算 |
| [08:29] | For a second there, I totally forgot why you were here. | 有一瞬间 我忘了你来干什么了 |
| [08:32] | You want some coffee? | 喝咖啡吗 |
| [08:33] | I’d love coffee. | 好的 |
| [08:34] | Great. | 太好了 |
| [08:40] | Thought we wanted coffee. | 我们不是喝咖啡吗 |
| [08:41] | We do. | 是啊 |
| [08:42] | Yeah, coffee comes from the coffee place. | 但咖啡要去店里买 |
| [08:44] | Yes, it does. | 是啊 |
| [08:45] | Three times a day, at $6 a pop. | 一天三次 一杯六块 |
| [08:48] | Oh, hello, teachable moment. | 施教时间到了 |
| [08:53] | No. No! | 不行 |
| [08:55] | I need my coffee place. | 我不能没有咖啡店 |
| [08:56] | It’s on the way from here to school | 从家里到学校 |
| [08:58] | and on the way from school to work | 学校到班上 |
| [08:59] | and on the way from work to here. | 班上到家里的路上都有咖啡店 |
| [09:01] | It’s a miracle of geography, | 这是地理学的奇迹 |
| [09:02] | and it’s what makes my life possible. | 也让我的生活充满了可能 |
| [09:04] | Okay, well, look at this, huh? | 看看这个 |
| [09:07] | No, but this takes so long! | 但这要花很久 |
| [09:09] | And at my coffee place, I have a barista, Trish, | 咖啡店里有咖啡师崔西 |
| [09:13] | and she always has my latte waiting for me. | 她总是做好拿铁等着我 |
| [09:15] | I’m your Trish now. | 我现在就是你的崔西了 |
| [09:19] | You guys should be free to roll around on the floor of my car. | 你们本该在我车里的地上肆意滚动的 |
| [09:22] | We’re breaking their spirit! | 我们在扼杀它们的灵魂 |
| [09:23] | Pennies belong in a bank… | 硬币就该被存进银行 |
| [09:25] | or dumped in a tube sock and used for self-defense. | 或者塞进长袜里用来自卫 |
| [09:28] | Hockey pads, hockey pads, | 冰球护具 冰球护具 |
| [09:31] | h-h-hockey pads. | 冰球护具 |
| [09:32] | Six pairs of the same sunglasses? | 六副一样的墨镜 |
| [09:34] | I’m gonna lose half of them. | 早晚我会丢一半 |
| [09:36] | You always have more sunglasses than you need | 你总得多备着些墨镜 |
| [09:37] | because some of them aren’t gonna make it. | 因为有些墨镜肯定会丢 |
| [09:39] | Like with babies at the turn of the century. | 就像世纪之交出生的宝宝一样 |
| [09:47] | You did a great job. | 表现不错 |
| [09:51] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:52] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [09:55] | Just gonna be you today, champ? | 今天只有你一个人啊 冠军 |
| [09:57] | Champ?! | 冠军 |
| [09:58] | Don’t you know who this is? | 你不知道这是谁吗 |
| [09:59] | This is KZOP’s Will Cooper! | 这可是KZOP的威尔·库珀 |
| [10:01] | Now, how about you get us the two most expensive things on the menu? | 我们要菜单里最贵的两样东西 |
| [10:04] | Both for him. I’m too nervous to eat. | 都给他 我太紧张了 吃不了 |
| [10:07] | – Dr. Biscuits? – Yes. | -比斯奇思博士 -是我 |
| [10:08] | I didn’t know you were a fan. | 我都不知道你是我粉丝 |
| [10:09] | I’m not. | 我不是 |
| [10:11] | I’m a superfan. | 我是你的忠实粉丝 |
| [10:13] | But at school, you’ve never mentioned- | 可你在学校并没提过啊 |
| [10:15] | Oh! I don’t care about me. | 我不太在意自己 |
| [10:17] | I care about three things– | 我只在意三件事 |
| [10:18] | you, the weather, and where they overlap. | 你 天气 还有你播的天气 |
| [10:20] | Go. | 说吧 |
| [10:21] | All right. | 行吧 |
| [10:22] | Where would you like to start? | 你想从哪听起 |
| [10:24] | Denver Presbyterian Hospital, | 丹佛长老会医院 |
| [10:26] | May 6, 1983, 8:45 A.M. | 1983年5月6日 早晨8:45 |
| [10:30] | Bud and Lucile Cooper welcome into the world | 巴德和露西尔夫妇迎来了 |
| [10:32] | a beautiful 7-pound, 5-ounce baby boy. | 六斤六两的宝贝儿子 |
| [10:36] | The high was 68, the low, 40. | 最高20度 最低4.4度 |
| [10:39] | – With a mild chance of hail. – Mild chance of hail. | -还有较小概率下冰雹 -较小概率下冰雹 |
| [10:44] | Never stop talking to me. | 千万别停 |
| [10:48] | Come on in. | 进来吧 |
| [10:49] | But please, keep your shoes on. | 鞋就不用脱了 |
| [10:51] | I’ve just always wanted to say that. | 我一直想说这句话 |
| [10:53] | Refresh my memory. | 帮我回想一下 |
| [10:54] | Who did you say outbid me for the beret? | 你说谁从我手上把贝雷帽拍走了 |
| [10:56] | Anonymous. | 匿名 |
| [10:57] | They’re…anonymous. | 都是匿名的 |
| [10:59] | Why would someone who wanted to remain anonymous | 拍到有史以来回头率最高的贝雷帽 |
| [11:01] | buy the most eye-catching hat civilization has ever produced? | 为什么还要匿名呢 |
| [11:04] | – They wouldn’t. – Doesn’t add up. | -不会匿名的 -不合理 |
| [11:06] | Easy. | 简单 |
| [11:07] | See, they’re shy with names but not with hats. | 他们不炫名字只炫帽子 |
| [11:09] | You feel me? | 懂吗 |
| [11:10] | Or they want to get caught. | 是想被逮个正着吧 |
| [11:13] | Care to explain what you’re doing here, | 与其百般狡辩 不如解释下 |
| [11:14] | other than dying of thirst? | 这是在干什么 |
| [11:16] | Miggy, why would you do this? | 米基 你为什么要这样 |
| [11:18] | ‘Cause you said I have no taste. | 因为你说我没品位 |
| [11:20] | I should’ve known. Curse of the trendsetter– | 我早该知道 时尚先驱的诅咒 |
| [11:22] | everything you love will be ruined by normos. | 所爱之物都会毁于庸人之手 |
| [11:25] | Find her! | 把她找出来 |
| [11:25] | Remember our orders! | 谨记我们的纲领 |
| [11:27] | The beret must not be harmed! | 确保贝雷帽完好无损 |
| [11:33] | Oh, God! | 天啊 |
| [11:35] | No, please! | 不 求你们了 |
| [11:38] | I tap. | 我投降 |
| [11:39] | I tap! | 我投降 |
| [11:45] | Next time, I won’t be so kind. | 下次可就没这么手软了 |
| [11:47] | Thank you? | 谢谢 |
| [11:52] | Thief! | 小偷 |
| [11:53] | You suck! That beret needs me! | 你大爷的 那顶贝雷帽需要我 |
| [11:56] | Let’s get to work. | 走起 |
| [11:57] | I’ll get it back! You don’t deserve that beret! | 我会拿回来的 你配不上它 |
| [12:00] | Sleep with your eyes open! | 睡觉时小心点 |
| [12:02] | I still don’t understand. Dad knows Dr. Biscuits. | 我还是不明白 我爸认识比斯奇思博士 |
| [12:05] | Is he in a disguise? | 他易容了吗 |
| [12:06] | Nope. | 没 |
| [12:07] | Costume, maybe. Could be some props. | 可能需要演出服 道具什么的 |
| [12:09] | But Biscuits is playing himself– | 但比斯奇思就饰演他本人 |
| [12:10] | just himself as a Will Cooper superfan. | 假装他是威尔·库珀的忠实粉丝 |
| [12:13] | Biscuits is an amazing actor. | 比斯奇思演技超赞 |
| [12:15] | – What’s he been in? – I don’t know. | -他演过什么 -不知道 |
| [12:17] | Good evening. | 晚上好 |
| [12:18] | Yes. Will Cooper. | 是的 我是威尔·库珀 |
| [12:20] | I know. | 我懂 |
| [12:21] | Hey, Poppy. | 波比 |
| [12:22] | Bloody Mary with bacon | 血腥玛丽配培根 |
| [12:23] | and a tiny burger on the straw. | 吸管上串个小汉堡 |
| [12:26] | We don’t have those. | 没有 |
| [12:27] | Can’t believe I used to come here. | 我以前居然是这里的常客 |
| [12:29] | So…fun lunch? | 那个 用餐愉快吗 |
| [12:31] | Fun? | 愉快 |
| [12:32] | Um, it was revelatory. | 应该叫茅塞顿开 |
| [12:35] | Oh, no. | 不好 |
| [12:37] | I’ve been spotted. | 我被认出来了 |
| [12:41] | You’re why I do it. | 我这样都是为了你 |
| [12:44] | Okay, you weren’t kidding about your dad’s self-esteem pendulum. | 你说你爸有自尊钟摆 真没开玩笑啊 |
| [12:46] | One lunch, and now he’s ordering straw burgers? | 吃了顿午饭 他就敢要吸管汉堡了 |
| [12:49] | I’m starting to think this Biscuits thing was a mistake. | 我感觉不该找比斯奇思的 |
| [12:51] | – Well, there’s no going back now. – Why not? | -可现在无法收手了 -为什么 |
| [12:53] | Do you not understand pendulums? | 你不懂钟摆吗 |
| [12:55] | If my dad finds out the truth, | 要是我爸知道了真相 |
| [12:56] | he’ll swing back even harder in the other direction. | 他会向另一头摆动得更远 |
| [12:59] | He could turn in his trench coat | 他可能会归还防水大衣 |
| [13:01] | and leave the weather biz forever. | 再也不播天气预报了 |
| [13:02] | Trench coat? Who’s still wearing trench coats? | 防水大衣 这年头谁还穿防水大衣 |
| [13:05] | He needs to get rid of that anyway. | 他辞不辞职都不能再穿了 |
| [13:06] | – You guys whispering about me? – Yes, yes. | -你们在说我的悄悄话吗 -没错 没错 |
| [13:08] | Great. Let’s keep the convo there and drill down. | 好极了 我们接着聊 |
| [13:10] | See, the thing about me is, I don’t have a fan. | 其实我呢 没什么粉丝 |
| [13:14] | I have a superfan! | 我有忠实粉丝 |
| [13:15] | In fact, I have a lot of them. | 事实上还不少 |
| [13:17] | They have a group text. Guess what they text about. | 他们有个聊天群 猜猜看他们都在聊什么 |
| [13:20] | Me! | 我 |
| [13:21] | People love me! | 大家都爱我 |
| [13:22] | But for some reason, I still don’t have my own office | 但是出于某些原因 我还没有办公室 |
| [13:25] | and I have to park in the overflow lot | 停车还得停到外面 |
| [13:26] | and I was bumped from the promo for a cartoon sun. | 我广告里的位置还被一个卡通太阳取代了 |
| [13:30] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
| [13:31] | I’m gonna call KZOP right now, and I am going to demand | 我现在就给KZOP打电话 |
| [13:34] | that they re-shoot the promo | 要求他们重拍广告 |
| [13:36] | and give my superfans what they want — | 给我的忠实粉丝想要的镜头 |
| [13:39] | me! | 我 |
| [13:40] | And if they say no, I’ll quit. | 如果他们拒绝 我就辞职 |
| [13:42] | Sophie! | 苏菲 |
| [13:43] | Great. Now Tracy Freeze | 这下好了 特蕾西·弗里兹 |
| [13:45] | is gonna have a missed call from me. | 会有一个我的未接来电 |
| [13:46] | How am I gonna explain that? | 我该怎么解释 |
| [13:49] | I’m sorry, Dad. | 我很抱歉 爸爸 |
| [13:50] | But your superfan, he’s… | 但你忠实粉丝 他… |
| [13:54] | …not real. | 是假的 |
| [13:57] | Will, I wrote Biscuits’ name down in a panic, | 威尔 我慌乱之下写了比斯奇思的名字 |
| [14:00] | and I asked him to play the role of your superfan. | 然后让他扮演你的忠实粉丝 |
| [14:03] | I am so sorry. | 真对不起 |
| [14:07] | I see. | 我明白了 |
| [14:09] | Well, I have just gone | 我刚刚经历了 |
| [14:10] | from experiencing a high of euphoria | 从极度狂喜 |
| [14:16] | to a low… | 到无足轻重的 |
| [14:18] | of now. | 现实 |
| [14:20] | Back to you, Julie. | 交还给你 朱莉 |
| [14:26] | Tracy Freeze? | 特蕾西·弗里兹 |
| [14:28] | Yeah, yeah, no, I called. | 对对 是我打的 |
| [14:29] | Just to say how much I’ve been enjoying the overflow lot. | 只是想告诉你我车停在外面挺好的 |
| [14:34] | Nah, it couldn’t wait. | 不 等不了 |
| [14:36] | What a day! | 多美好的一天 |
| [14:37] | I can’t believe how much money | 我真不敢相信 |
| [14:38] | I was giving that kid next door to take my trash cans in. | 自己给邻居小孩那么多钱帮我拿垃圾桶 |
| [14:40] | Yeah, it felt good to make him cry. | 是啊 把他弄哭的感觉真好 |
| [14:42] | Now that he’s off the books, Graham can play hockey — | 现在不用给他钱了 格雷厄姆可以玩冰球 |
| [14:45] | in pads that he’ll outgrow in a month. | 穿上一个月后就穿不下的护具 |
| [14:47] | Douglas, I could never have done this without you… | 道格拉斯 没有你逼我 |
| [14:51] | forcing me to do this. | 我肯定做不到的 |
| [14:52] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [14:57] | Welcome to my home. How may I help you? | 欢迎来到我家 有什么能帮你的 |
| [15:00] | Angie. | 安吉 |
| [15:01] | W-What’s happening? | 这是什么 |
| [15:02] | I ordered you a treat to say thank you | 我点了一份甜点 |
| [15:05] | for teaching me how to be financially responsible. | 来感谢你教会我如何理财 |
| [15:09] | How much were these? | 这要多少钱 |
| [15:10] | It’s not important. | 不重要 |
| [15:10] | – $28. – Wh– ah — | -28块 -什么 |
| [15:12] | I-I’m not eating a $14 cupcake! | 我才不吃14块的纸杯蛋糕呢 |
| [15:15] | We want to return those. | 我们要退货 |
| [15:16] | Have you learned nothing?! | 你什么也没学到吗 |
| [15:17] | Relax, Douglas. | 放松 道格拉斯 |
| [15:19] | We made so much money today! | 我们今天赚了好多钱 |
| [15:21] | I-I slashed my convenience tax burden in half. | 我把便利税砍了一半 |
| [15:23] | There should be no convenience tax burden. | 本来就不该有便利税的 |
| [15:26] | The convenience tax is you being lazy. | 便利税只是你偷懒的借口 |
| [15:30] | Okay, rich white man | 好吧 有钱白人 |
| [15:32] | with an in-home sauna who works three days a week. | 家里自带桑拿 一周只工作三天 |
| [15:34] | I’m lazy? | 还说我偷懒 |
| [15:35] | Okay, you’re on your own. Go back to farting away your money. | 行 我不管你了 你接着挥霍吧 |
| [15:38] | Fine! I will, then! | 行 那我去了 |
| [15:39] | Not the farting part, but the “Being on my own” part. | 不是去挥霍 而是靠自己 |
| [15:41] | I don’t need your help. | 我不需要你的帮助 |
| [15:43] | Excuse me. | 借过 |
| [15:45] | Did a dude named Ken used to live here? | 之前有没有一个叫肯的人住在这 |
| [15:47] | – Get out. – ‘Cause I’ve seen that wall before, I think. | -滚 -我以前好像见过这堵墙 |
| [16:07] | I wouldn’t pay $14 for you, | 我可不会花14块买你 |
| [16:08] | but you drop your price to $12, it’s a conversation. | 但如果降到12 也许还有戏 |
| [16:13] | Douglas! | 道格拉斯 |
| [16:16] | My car got towed. | 我的车被拖了 |
| [16:18] | I finally got you to park legally. | 我都让你停在合法车位了 |
| [16:20] | I watched with my own eyes | 我亲眼看到 |
| [16:21] | as you parked by a curb that wasn’t a color! | 你停在没有涂色的路边了 |
| [16:24] | I may have some outstanding parking tickets. | 我有些未完成的违停罚单 |
| [16:26] | And I mean “Outstanding” as in “Unpaid” | “未完成”就是”未缴” |
| [16:29] | and also as in “I illegally parked | 也就是说”我曾在许多 |
| [16:31] | in some really cool places.” | 超酷的地方违停过” |
| [16:32] | Does your happiness go up with my blood pressure? | 你的幸福指数和我血压成正比吗 |
| [16:35] | All right, I’ll give you a ride to the impound lot. | 好吧 我载你去拖吊场拿车 |
| [16:38] | No, I’m gonna call an Uber. | 不用了 我叫辆优步吧 |
| [16:39] | It’s surge pricing now, but — | 现在是高峰期 但 |
| [16:40] | No! | 不行 |
| [16:41] | All right, look. | 好吧 听着 |
| [16:42] | I’m sorry, okay? | 对不起 好吗 |
| [16:44] | I-I know my convenience tax is nuts. | 我知道我的便利税太多了 |
| [16:46] | It’s just… | 只是 |
| [16:47] | if I wait in a long line at the post office | 如果我在邮局排着长队 |
| [16:50] | or drive all the way to the bargain mall, | 或者开车去折扣商场 |
| [16:52] | it’s less time I get to spend with Graham. | 我就没有那么多时间陪格雷厄姆了 |
| [16:54] | He was just born. Now he’s 8. | 感觉他才出生 现在就8岁了 |
| [16:57] | And before I know it, he’ll be 18, and… | 再过不久他就18岁了 然后 |
| [17:00] | then that’s it. | 然后就这样了 |
| [17:02] | I already had money when I became a single parent, | 我成单亲爸爸时已经很有钱了 |
| [17:04] | and it still felt impossible. | 但生活仍让我措手不及 |
| [17:07] | I honestly don’t know how you do it. | 说真的 我不知道你是怎么做到的 |
| [17:10] | But it amazes me. | 但你让我很惊讶 |
| [17:13] | Oh, boy. | 天哪 |
| [17:15] | All right, that’ll — that’ll do. | 行了 可以了 |
| [17:17] | Let’s go. | 走吧 |
| [17:19] | Hey, do you think if I give that speech at the impound lot, | 如果我在拖吊场说那段话 |
| [17:21] | they’ll just give me my car back? | 他们会不会直接把车还我 |
| [17:23] | Well, can you make yourself cry? | 你能哭吗 |
| [17:25] | Mm, might need a little help. | 也许需要点帮助 |
| [17:26] | Can you get me there? | 你能帮我吗 |
| [17:27] | Oh, yeah. | 当然 |
| [17:34] | Will, I am so sorry. | 威尔 真对不起 |
| [17:36] | In retrospect, I shouldn’t have hired an actor | 回想一下 我不该雇演员 |
| [17:38] | to protect your feelings. | 来照顾你的感情 |
| [17:40] | But in my defense, I didn’t know | 但我得为自己说一句 我也不知道 |
| [17:41] | Biscuits had that kind of performance in him. | 比斯奇思演技那么好啊 |
| [17:43] | He really took you on a journey! | 他让你爽翻了吧 |
| [17:44] | He really did. | 确实 |
| [17:45] | But it was a journey I was so pathetically desperate to go on, | 但这种极度渴望成名的可悲想法 |
| [17:48] | it turned me into a monster. | 把我变成了怪物 |
| [17:50] | A Bloody Mary with bacon, tiny burger on the straw? | 血腥玛丽加培根 吸管上串个小汉堡 |
| [17:53] | Who did I think I was? | 我以为自己是谁啊 |
| [17:55] | French meteorologist Didier Marceau? | 法国气象学家迪迪埃·玛索吗 |
| [17:59] | I was stupid to think I would have a fan, | 我真蠢 还以为自己有粉丝了 |
| [18:01] | let alone a superfan. | 更别说忠实粉丝了 |
| [18:03] | Dad. | 爸 |
| [18:04] | Do you like doing the weather? | 你喜欢播报天气吗 |
| [18:06] | I love it. | 很喜欢 |
| [18:07] | Then it doesn’t matter if you don’t have a superfan. | 那没有忠实粉丝也没关系 |
| [18:10] | It doesn’t matter if you never have a superfan. | 就算永远也没有忠实粉丝也没关系 |
| [18:13] | Only one person’s opinion matters. | 你只要在意一个人的意见 |
| [18:15] | French meteorologist Didier Marceau’s? | 法国气象学家迪迪埃·玛索吗 |
| [18:18] | No. Yours. | 不 你的 |
| [18:21] | That is wise. | 睿智 |
| [18:22] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [18:24] | You really think I’ll never have a superfan? | 你真的觉得我永远也不会有忠实粉丝吗 |
| [18:27] | No, I take that part back. | 不 这句话我收回 |
| [18:29] | You will always, always have at least one superfan. | 你至少会一直有一个忠实粉丝 |
| [18:32] | Ruin this moment by saying | 你要是说”法国气象学家迪迪埃·玛索吗” |
| [18:33] | “French meteorologist Didier Marceau,” | 就毁了这温馨时刻 |
| [18:34] | and I will knock you out. | 我就揍你啊 |
| [18:35] | Yes, ma’am. | 遵命 长官 |
| [18:37] | Mother, I told you, | 妈妈 我说了 |
| [18:38] | I don’t know what happened to the hot-glue gun. | 我不知道热胶枪怎么回事 |
| [18:41] | Oh. You. | 是你啊 |
| [18:42] | Come to ransack my wardrobe | 你是来洗劫我的衣柜 |
| [18:43] | or just assume my identity altogether? | 还是直接洗劫我的身份啊 |
| [18:45] | No! I want to apologize. | 不 我想向你道歉 |
| [18:47] | Look, I was hurt when you insulted my taste. | 你说我没品位时我很受伤 |
| [18:50] | There was a time where I didn’t even have to think about it. | 我有好一阵子都不愿去想 |
| [18:52] | I was just cool. I had the trip. | 我也酷过 我也疯过 |
| [18:55] | And now — | 而现在 |
| [18:55] | Fatherhood has softened your edge? | 为人父让你磨平了棱角 |
| [18:57] | Sorry, but it has. | 抱歉 但确实如此 |
| [18:59] | And everyone knows it. | 大家都知道 |
| [19:00] | I thought this beret was the solution. | 我以为这顶贝雷帽能解决我的问题 |
| [19:02] | I don’t know how I got it so wrong. | 我怎么错得这么离谱 |
| [19:04] | Buying a used hat at a school auction | 我真以为在学校拍卖会上 |
| [19:06] | really seemed like a silver bullet. | 买顶二手帽子就能翻盘啊 |
| [19:08] | No. My fashion critiques have been described as “withering.” | 不 有人说我的时尚评论太毒舌了 |
| [19:11] | – True. – I need to learn to rein it in. | -没错 -我要学习控制一下了 |
| [19:13] | Friends? | 和好吗 |
| [19:15] | Friends. | 和好 |
| [19:17] | So, I was thinking we can share the beret. | 我们可以共用这顶贝雷帽 |
| [19:19] | It’s with you Monday, Wednesday, Friday | 一 三 五归你 |
| [19:20] | and with me Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. | 二 四 六归我 |
| [19:22] | On Sundays, we alternate. | 周日轮流戴 |
| [19:23] | Now, vacations might be a little tou– | 假期可能有点难 |
| [19:24] | Wait. Stop. | 等下 打住 |
| [19:26] | Put the beret on. It’s yours. | 戴上贝雷帽 归你了 |
| [19:28] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [19:29] | Yeah. | 真的 |
| [19:30] | – Wow! It looks good on you! – Thank you. | -你戴起来很好看啊 -谢谢 |
| [19:33] | And sure, berets are on-trend now, | 虽然贝雷帽正流行 |
| [19:35] | but I got to keep moving. | 但我要向前看了 |
| [19:38] | The beret of the heartland. | 中心贝雷帽 |
| [19:40] | Well, now I want a cowboy hat. | 现在我想要牛仔帽了 |
| [19:42] | Trish, this is goodbye. | 崔西 我是来道别的 |
| [19:44] | From now on, I’ll be making coffee, | 从今往后 我要自己煮咖啡了 |
| [19:46] | like I’m running a freakin’ A.A. meeting. | 感觉我开了个戒酒匿名会 |
| [19:49] | So, if I come in here, | 如果我来了 |
| [19:50] | I’m gonna need you to help me be strong | 你得帮我坚定信念 |
| [19:52] | and not sell me coffee. | 不要卖咖啡给我 |
| [19:54] | Can you promise me that? | 你能答应我吗 |
| [19:56] | No. | 不能 |
| [19:57] | I’d get in trouble for refusing coffee to a customer. | 如果我不让顾客买咖啡会有麻烦的 |
| [20:00] | I guess that’s fair. | 有道理 |
| [20:01] | And even if nobody knew, I would know. | 就算没人知道 我也会知道 |
| [20:04] | And ultimately, we’re all responsible to ourselves, Angie. | 到头来我们都要为自己负责 安吉 |
| [20:08] | I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ask you | 抱歉 我不是故意要你 |
| [20:09] | to compromise your beliefs. | 违背自己的信念的 |
| [20:10] | To say nothing of the promise I’ve made to our shareholders. | 更不用说我对股东的承诺了 |
| [20:13] | – I mean — – You know, getting out of this conversation | -我 -我觉得终止这场谈话 |
| [20:15] | is worth $100 to me. | 价值一百块 |
| [20:20] | – Convenience tax. – Convenience tax. | -便利税 -便利税 |
| [20:24] | I drove all the way down to the bargain mall for this. | 我大老远开去折扣商场买的 |
| [20:28] | Oh, no! Is the mail broken? | 不 邮箱坏了吗 |
| [20:30] | No. | 没有 |
| [20:31] | But thanks to Douglas, Mommy’s making some changes. | 多亏了道格拉斯 妈妈做出了一些改变 |
| [20:35] | What’s all this armor for? | 这些盔甲是干什么的 |
| [20:38] | For you, to play hockey. | 给你打冰球用的 |
| [20:43] | This is hockey. | 这是冰球呀 |
| [20:45] | I got it confused with the other one. | 我跟另一项运动搞混了 |
| [20:47] | I don’t want to do hockey. | 我不想打冰球 |
| [20:49] | What? No. Yeah, you do. | 什么 不 你想 |
| [20:51] | I want to do the one where you dive. | 我想学潜到水里的运动 |
| [20:53] | What’s the one where you dive called? | 潜到水里叫什么运动 |
| [20:56] | Diving? | 潜水 |
| [20:56] | Yup. That’s the one. | 对 就是这个 |
| [20:58] | You sure you’re thinking about diving? | 你确定想学的是潜水 |
| [21:00] | You’re not thinking of, like, fencing? | 不是击剑吗 |
| [21:02] | – Nope. – Great. | -不是 -好 |
| [21:04] | I’ll just… give you one of my bikini bottoms. | 那我把我的比基尼泳裤给你好了 |
| [21:10] | Fencing does sound fun. | 击剑听起来是挺有趣啊 |