| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:36] | Uh, hi. I’m Alison. | 我是艾莉森 |
| [00:39] | Ben. | 我是本 |
| [00:40] | Yeah, when I got back from my second tour, I was a disaster. | 我第二次服役回来后 当时情况很糟 |
| [00:43] | And I, uh, had a hard time being… | 我 有段时间我很难 |
| [00:47] | …being intimate. | 同他人保持性关系 |
| [00:51] | It’s pretty interesting stuff, huh? | 很有趣 是吗 |
| [00:53] | You scared me. | 你吓到我了 |
| [00:54] | You can’t just sneak up on people | 你不能这样悄无声息的 |
| [00:55] | at a conference about posttraumatic stress. | 在创伤后压力的会议上靠近别人 |
| [00:58] | Sorry, uh, I didn’t realize I was that scary. | 抱歉 我不知道自己那么吓人 |
| [01:01] | We should meet up all over the country | 我们应该参加全国 |
| [01:02] | at different PTSD conferences. | 各个不同的创伤后应激障碍的讨论会 |
| [01:08] | Are you having fun yet? | 你开不开心 |
| [01:10] | What’s that face? | 你这是什么表情 |
| [01:11] | You amaze me. | 你让我震惊 |
| [01:14] | I’m looking for Ben Cruz. | 我找本·克鲁兹 |
| [01:16] | He is actually at a lunch meeting, | 他现在正参加午餐会 |
| [01:17] | but he’ll be back any minute. | 但快回来了 |
| [01:19] | – I-I… – Mrs. Cruz, what are you doing? | -我… -克鲁兹太太 你在做什么 |
| [01:22] | Please, let me help you with that. | 拜托 让我来帮忙吧 |
| [01:23] | Mrs. Cruz, please. | 克鲁兹太太 拜托 |
| [01:24] | I insist. Let me do that. | 我坚持 让我来吧 |
| [01:27] | A lush. I love it. | 烈酒 我喜欢 |
| [01:28] | No, I just had a terrible day. | 不是 只不过今天很糟心 |
| [01:30] | Have you ever heard of the, uh, mile-high club? | 你听说过高空俱乐部吗 |
| [01:34] | I can’t sit back down there, okay? | 我不能坐回去 好吗 |
| [01:36] | – He tried to kiss me. – Calm down, ma’am. | -他想要吻我 -冷静点 女士 |
| [01:37] | – This is a misunderstanding. – I need you to calm down. | -这只是一场误会 -我需要你冷静点 |
| [01:38] | Stop touching me! | 别碰我 |
| [01:40] | Noah? Hi. | 诺亚 |
| [01:42] | She just started freaking out on the highway. | 她刚在路上情绪突然失控 |
| [01:44] | I didn’t know where else to bring her. | 我不知道该带她去哪儿 |
| [01:46] | What about you? You seeing anybody? | 你过的怎么样 有没有和谁在约会 |
| [01:47] | I was. | 刚刚结束一段关系 |
| [01:48] | He’s married. | 他已婚了 |
| [01:49] | Alison, you have so much time. | 艾莉森 你有的是时间 |
| [01:51] | You could have a second act. | 你可以重新选择 |
| [01:53] | You could do whatever you want to do. | 你想做什么都可以 |
| [01:55] | But if you want to change your life, | 但若你想生活有所改变 |
| [01:56] | you have to do it now. | 现在就行动起来 |
| [03:16] | 第一话 艾莉森 | |
| [04:55] | It’s good to see you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [04:57] | Um, can I come in? | 我能进来吗 |
| [05:03] | Uh, yeah, yeah, of course. Um… | 行 当然 |
| [05:27] | It’s beautiful here. | 这里很美 |
| [05:30] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [05:31] | So… | 那么 |
| [05:33] | where’d you go? | 你去哪里了 |
| [05:35] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [05:36] | Last week. | 上周 |
| [05:37] | Thought we had a date. | 我以为咱俩有个约会 |
| [05:41] | I… | 我 |
| [05:43] | It’s for you. | 送给你 |
| [05:45] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [05:46] | Um, do you want to sit? | 你想坐下吗 |
| [05:47] | I need to talk to you about something. | 我需要和你谈谈 |
| [05:49] | Actually, um, can I say something first? | 我能先说吗 |
| [05:53] | Okay. | 行 |
| [05:57] | I’m married. | 我结婚了 |
| [06:03] | – Okay. – I didn’t tell you. | -好吧 -我之前没告诉你 |
| [06:06] | Uh, no, you didn’t. | 是的 你没说 |
| [06:08] | I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me again. | 我害怕你不想再见我了 |
| [06:11] | Well, you’re right. | 你是对的 |
| [06:14] | But I already know. | 但我已经知道你结婚了 |
| [06:17] | I found out. | 我发现了 |
| [06:20] | How? | 怎么发现的 |
| [06:23] | I went to see you at your office. | 我去你办公室找你 |
| [06:25] | Your wife was there. | 你的妻子在那里 |
| [06:27] | Heidi? | 海蒂吗 |
| [06:31] | Okay. Um… | 好吧 |
| [06:33] | did you speak to her? | 你和她说话了吗 |
| [06:34] | It doesn’t matter. | 这不重要 |
| [06:38] | – You lied to me. – I know. | -你骗了我 -我知道 |
| [06:40] | I told you everything about myself. | 我把自己的一切都告诉你了 |
| [06:43] | – I told you about my son. – I know. | -甚至是我儿子的事 -我知道 |
| [06:44] | – I know, and I’m sorry. – That’s it? | -我都知道 我很抱歉 -就这些吗 |
| [06:46] | That’s all you have to say? | 你想说的就这些吗 |
| [06:47] | I have a lot to say. Do you want to sit? | 我还有很多想说 你想坐下吗 |
| [06:49] | – No. – Okay. | -不 -好吧 |
| [06:51] | Well, um, this might take a while. | 我要说的很多 |
| [06:53] | I’ve been rehearsing this for days, | 这几天我一直在打腹稿 |
| [06:55] | but I realize I may never see you again, | 但我意识到可能再也见不到你了 |
| [06:56] | so I’m gonna say everything. | 所以我就不再有所保留了 |
| [07:00] | Okay. | 行 |
| [07:18] | So, uh… | 所以 |
| [07:23] | I left my wife today. | 我今天离开了我妻子 |
| [07:25] | – I don’t believe you. – I did. I can show you | -我不相信你 -真的 我可以给你看 |
| [07:27] | the angry text messages I’ve been getting, | 她发来的那些充满怒气的短信 |
| [07:29] | if that would help. | 如果能让你相信的话 |
| [07:34] | Our marriage is done. | 我们的婚姻结束了 |
| [07:37] | I should have left a long time ago, but… | 我早就应该离开 但是 |
| [07:41] | I said it was for the kids, | 我说为了孩子的缘故 |
| [07:42] | but it wasn’t for the kids. | 其实不是为了孩子 |
| [07:44] | I just didn’t want to fail at something else. | 我只是不想在婚姻上也失败 |
| [07:47] | And then I met you. | 然后我遇到了你 |
| [07:48] | I wanted to tell you. | 我想告诉你的 |
| [07:50] | I-I tried to tell you, but… | 我试过开口 但是 |
| [07:53] | I knew, if I did, you’d just walk away | 我知道如果我说了 你就会转身离开 |
| [07:55] | and I’d never see you again, | 我就再也见不到你了 |
| [07:56] | and I couldn’t make myself say the words. | 我说不出来 |
| [08:01] | You are literally the woman of my dreams. | 你就是我梦寐以求的女人 |
| [08:06] | I know it’s not the perfect situation, | 我知道这个时机不算完美 |
| [08:07] | but I came here tonight just hoping that maybe | 但我今晚来只是希望或许 |
| [08:10] | we can start again with no more secrets. | 我们能重新开始 不再有秘密 |
| [08:26] | I’m Ben. | 我叫本 |
| [08:28] | I recently separated from my wife, | 最近刚和妻子分开 |
| [08:30] | and I have two boys: | 我有两个儿子 |
| [08:33] | Bodhi and Gabriel. | 布迪和加百列 |
| [08:37] | Gabriel? | 加百列 |
| [08:45] | Gabriel? | 加百列 |
| [08:47] | Right. Okay. | 对 好吧 |
| [08:52] | How old? | 几岁了 |
| [08:53] | Bodhi’s six, and… | 布迪六岁 |
| [08:55] | Gabriel’s a year. | 加百利一岁 |
| [08:56] | – Ben. – Look, I know. | -本 -听着 我知道 |
| [08:57] | I know it sounds bad. | 我知道听起来很糟 |
| [08:58] | My wife and I, we talked already. | 我和我妻子已经谈过了 |
| [09:01] | Look, we agreed, this isn’t the life | 我们都同意 现在的生活 |
| [09:02] | that either of us wants. | 都不是我们想要的 |
| [09:04] | And we’d be happier with other people. | 我们和别人在一起会更幸福 |
| [09:06] | We’ll be better parents to our boys. | 我们会是更好的父母 |
| [09:10] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [09:14] | That’s what I came here to say. | 这就是我来这想说的 |
| [09:19] | Say something. | 说点什么 |
| [09:23] | Thank you for finally telling me. | 谢谢你终于告诉我了 |
| [09:25] | – That’s it? – What do you want me to say? | -就这些吗 -你想让我说什么 |
| [09:27] | I don’t know, uh… | 不知道 |
| [09:29] | you forgive me. | 你原谅我了 |
| [09:30] | Doesn’t matter. You love me, too. | 没关系 你也爱我 |
| [09:31] | Oh, it does matter. | 有关系 |
| [09:33] | And I don’t forgive you. | 我不原谅你 |
| [09:35] | And how can I tell you I love you? | 我怎么说得出口我爱你 |
| [09:36] | I don’t even know you. | 我根本不了解你 |
| [09:38] | Mmm. Yeah. | 是 |
| [09:42] | Right. | 你说得对 |
| [09:49] | Wait. | 等下 |
| [09:53] | I have something I want to say to you, too. | 我有话想对你说 |
| [09:56] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:57] | – You’re a shit. – I know. | -你是个混蛋 -我知道 |
| [09:58] | You treated me badly. | 你玩弄了我 |
| [10:00] | I did. | 我承认 |
| [10:01] | I was honest with you. | 我对你很坦白 |
| [10:03] | I told you who I am. | 我告诉了你我的故事 |
| [10:05] | I didn’t lie to you. | 我没有骗你 |
| [10:06] | You lied to me. | 你骗了我 |
| [10:07] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [10:09] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [10:11] | I screwed up. | 我搞砸了 |
| [10:14] | I’m weak. | 我很软弱 |
| [10:18] | Ben, I am sorry you broke up with your wife. | 本 很遗憾你和妻子分开了 |
| [10:22] | I am sorry, most of all, for your kids. | 更主要的是 我对你的孩子感到遗憾 |
| [10:25] | And I am sorry that you and I | 很遗憾我和你 |
| [10:28] | never had a chance to see where this could go. | 没有机会去看看我们的会有怎样的发展 |
| [10:33] | Because I really liked you. | 因为我真的很喜欢你 |
| [10:36] | And I haven’t felt this way about anyone | 我很长一段时间都没有 |
| [10:38] | in a really long time. | 对谁有过这种感觉 |
| [10:42] | But I am done | 但我受够了 |
| [10:44] | being the woman you lie to your wife about. | 做一个你对你妻子欺瞒的女人 |
| [10:47] | I have lived this entire story before, | 我之前有过这样的经历 |
| [10:50] | and it doesn’t end well, | 结果并不美好 |
| [10:52] | and I couldn’t go through with it again, | 我不能再经历一次了 |
| [10:55] | even if I wanted to. | 即使我很想 |
| [11:00] | Do you understand? | 你明白吗 |
| [11:03] | Of course I understand. | 我当然明白 |
| [11:13] | Um… should I… | 那我 |
| [11:14] | should I let myself out, or, uh… | 那我走了 还是… |
| [11:17] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [11:19] | Guess you should. | 我也觉得你该走了 |
| [11:28] | You should get someone to fix that. | 你应该找人把那个修好 |
| [11:31] | Yeah, I know. | 我知道 |
| [11:32] | Called the plumber a couple of times. | 给水管工打了几次电话了 |
| [11:33] | Just keeps standing me up. | 一直放我鸽子 |
| [11:38] | I mean, I can fix it for you right now if you want. | 如果你愿意我可以帮你修好 |
| [11:45] | Or not. | 还是算了 |
| [11:47] | No. | 好吧 |
| [11:51] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [12:20] | That’s it. | 好了 |
| [12:23] | Seems like an old sink. | 看起来是个旧水槽 |
| [12:25] | I might as well just get under there and tighten it up. | 我还是到底下去把这个拧紧 |
| [12:37] | Thank you so much for doing this. | 非常感谢你的帮助 |
| [12:39] | Yeah. No problem. | 没关系 |
| [12:40] | This is fun for me. | 我很喜欢做这些事 |
| [12:46] | I-I could make you some dinner, you know, before you go. | 在你走之前 我可以给你做顿晚餐 |
| [12:52] | Okay. | 好啊 |
| [13:02] | Well, I have some eggs or… | 我有些鸡蛋 |
| [13:08] | Uh, what are you doing? | 你在做什么 |
| [13:09] | I’m going to make us something. Yeah. | 我来给我们做点吃的 |
| [13:12] | Well, no, I-I offered to make you dinner. | 不 是我要给你做饭 |
| [13:14] | Yeah, and I appreciated that offer. | 是 很感谢你的提议 |
| [13:15] | Now, um, give me some space. | 放着我来吧 |
| [13:17] | Go pour yourself a glass of wine. Relax. | 去给自己倒杯酒 放轻松 |
| [14:26] | Your wife is very beautiful. | 你妻子很美 |
| [14:33] | Yeah. | 是 |
| [14:35] | She’s definitely that. | 毫无疑问 |
| [14:40] | Did you really end it with her? | 你真的和她结束了吗 |
| [14:44] | I swear. | 我发誓 |
| [14:50] | Did you tell her about me? | 你跟她说了我的事吗 |
| [14:52] | No. | 没有 |
| [14:54] | That just seemed cruel. | 那么做好像太残忍了 |
| [14:58] | What did you say? | 你说了什么 |
| [15:03] | I said… | 我说… |
| [15:05] | I didn’t love her anymore, and… | 我不再爱她了 然后… |
| [15:09] | she said she didn’t love me anymore, either. | 她说她也不爱我了 |
| [15:22] | Why? What happened between you two? | 为什么 你们俩怎么了 |
| [15:27] | I, uh… | 我… |
| [15:31] | I went to war. | 我去打仗了 |
| [15:36] | I just… | 我… |
| [15:39] | Changed me. | 我变了 |
| [15:41] | I don’t know how to describe it any better than that. | 我找不出更好的方式来形容 |
| [15:45] | And Heidi, she was raised by a single mom | 海蒂 她是单亲妈妈抚养长大的 |
| [15:48] | who couldn’t make the rent, and, uh… | 可她妈妈付不起房租 所以… |
| [15:51] | she basically grew up in a car. | 她基本上是在车里长大的 |
| [15:54] | She wanted a man, you know– capital “M.” | 她需要一个男人 一个真正的男子汉 |
| [15:57] | Someone to take care of her, | 一个能够照顾她的人 |
| [16:01] | be strong, make money, | 要坚强 能挣钱 |
| [16:03] | tell her she was pretty. | 告诉她她很美 |
| [16:08] | She just didn’t want to have to worry anymore. | 她再也不想过担惊受怕的日子 |
| [16:15] | That’s who she thought she married. | 她以为自己嫁给了一个这样的人 |
| [16:18] | That’s who we both thought I was. | 我们俩都以为我是这样的人 |
| [16:23] | What changed? | 哪里变了呢 |
| [16:30] | It was my, uh… | 是我… |
| [16:32] | second combat tour in Afghanistan, and… | 第二次到阿富汗去打仗 然后… |
| [16:36] | I’d been deployed for 12 months, | 我去了12个月 |
| [16:37] | which is a ridiculous amount of time. | 去了那么久真是荒唐 |
| [16:41] | And one day, we ran out of fuel for the generator on our base, and, uh… | 有一天 我们基地的发电机没油了 |
| [16:45] | I took out a Humvee with a few of the guys from my platoon. | 我和我排里的几个人开了一辆悍马 |
| [16:48] | It was just supposed to be a simple resupply mission, but… | 那本来只是一次简单的补给任务 可… |
| [16:50] | we’d been given the wrong information, | 我们接到了错误的情报 |
| [16:51] | and when we got there… | 当我们到达那里的时候… |
| [16:56] | …the fuel didn’t exist. | 那里根本没有燃料 |
| [17:00] | So we had to return empty-handed | 所以我们只好空手而归 |
| [17:02] | on the same road we had traveled that morning, | 沿着早上去的那条路原路返回 |
| [17:04] | which is a stupid and dangerous thing to do. | 结果这么做又蠢又危险 |
| [17:07] | I just had two weeks left on my tour, | 当时我的服役期只剩下两周 |
| [17:10] | and all I could think about was getting home to Heidi, | 我满脑子想的都是回家去找海蒂 |
| [17:12] | a bath, | 洗个澡 |
| [17:14] | a beer on our deck, | 在阳台上喝杯啤酒 |
| [17:17] | putting Bodhi to sleep | 哄伯蒂希睡觉 |
| [17:18] | and, uh, taking her clothes off and, uh… | 脱掉她的衣服然后… |
| [17:22] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [17:24] | No. | 不必 |
| [17:25] | I understand. | 我能理解 |
| [17:32] | Anyway, um… | 总之吧… |
| [17:36] | Out of the corner of my eye, | 我无意中瞥见 |
| [17:37] | I could see these kids watching us from the door of a building, and… | 一些孩子在一幢楼的门后望着我们 |
| [17:42] | It used to be a school, but we bombed it. | 那里曾经是所学校 不过被我们炸了 |
| [17:44] | And, uh… | 当时… |
| [17:48] | My stomach just fell | 我感到很紧张 |
| [17:51] | because I had seen those same kids on the way out, | 因为我来的路上见到过那些孩子 |
| [17:54] | and here they were again waiting for us. | 他们又来等着我们了 |
| [18:00] | I just begged, “God, Jesus, | 我恳求道 “上帝 基督耶稣 |
| [18:02] | Mary, just let us pass. | 圣母玛丽 让我们过去吧 |
| [18:04] | Keep those kids in the fucking rubble.” | 让那些孩子待在残破的建筑里” |
| [18:10] | One of them… | 其中一个孩子 |
| [18:13] | he was tall. | 他个子很高 |
| [18:15] | Had to be 13 or 14. | 肯定有十三四岁了 |
| [18:18] | Sure enough, he came running towards us | 果然 他跑向我们 |
| [18:21] | with what looked like a weapon. | 手里拿着一个像是武器的东西 |
| [18:23] | And he raised it, and I realized it was an RPG. | 他举起那个东西 我意识到那是个火箭炮 |
| [18:27] | Before he could pull the trigger, | 在他扣下扳机之前 |
| [18:29] | I pulled mine, and… | 我先开了枪 然后… |
| [18:30] | he fell. | 他倒下了 |
| [18:35] | You killed him? | 你杀了他吗 |
| [18:36] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [18:42] | His weapon wasn’t real. | 他的武器并不是真的 |
| [18:46] | What do you mean? | 你什么意思 |
| [18:50] | “RPG” stands for “rocket-propelled grenade.” | “火箭炮”指的是”火箭推进榴弹” |
| [18:52] | It’s like a gun that shoots a grenade. | 是一种发射榴弹的火炮 |
| [18:54] | And, uh… | 可是… |
| [18:58] | Well, the one he was holding, it wasn’t… | 他手里拿着的 并不是… |
| [19:00] | didn’t have a grenade attached. | 里面没有榴弹 |
| [19:05] | It was old. | 那个东西很旧 |
| [19:06] | It was essentially a toy. | 那其实是个玩具 |
| [19:12] | What, you killed an unarmed kid? | 什么 你杀了一个手无寸铁的孩子 |
| [19:15] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [19:17] | Where do you… where do you keep your plates? | 你的…你的盘子放哪了 |
| [19:26] | Just here. | 这里 |
| [20:18] | So that’s what you walk around with? | 所以这就是困扰着你的事情吗 |
| [20:21] | Every day? | 每一天 |
| [20:30] | When I got back home… | 我回到家以后… |
| [20:35] | I couldn’t stand Heidi anymore. | 无法再容忍海蒂 |
| [20:41] | It wasn’t her fault. It just… | 那不是她的错 只是… |
| [20:43] | The way she looked at me. | 她看我的眼神 |
| [20:47] | The way she needed me. | 她需要我的方式 |
| [20:55] | One night, I, uh… | 有一天 我… |
| [20:59] | I got wasted, and… | 我喝醉了 |
| [21:02] | I tied her to the bed on her stomach | 我把她整个人翻过来 |
| [21:04] | so I wouldn’t have to look at her face. | 这样我就用不着看她的脸了 |
| [21:10] | I wouldn’t let her go. | 我不放开她 |
| [21:14] | Not even when Bodhi started to cry. | 就连伯蒂希开始哭了也不行 |
| [21:34] | I got clean soon after that, and, uh… | 不久之后我就戒酒了 |
| [21:38] | I haven’t touched a drink since. | 从那以后滴酒不沾 |
| [21:41] | I haven’t touched her, either. | 也再没碰过她 |
| [21:53] | You done? | 吃完了吗 |
| [21:54] | Uh, yeah. | 吃完了 |
| [22:11] | I haven’t told anyone what I just told you. | 刚才的事我没告诉过任何人 |
| [22:18] | That last part. | 最后那部分 |
| [22:23] | But I think about it all the time. | 但我总想着这件事 |
| [22:26] | Just… people I’ve hurt, | 我伤害过的人 |
| [22:28] | lives I’ve ruined. | 我破坏过的生活 |
| [22:32] | All I want is to somehow be forgiven. | 我就是想得到原谅 |
| [22:38] | I know that’s not possible, so… | 我知道这不可能 |
| [23:09] | You know, I have a… | 你知道吗 我… |
| [23:11] | I have a rare day every so often | 偶尔 我会有那么一天 |
| [23:14] | where I feel a little more still inside. | 内心感到比较平静 |
| [23:19] | It’s-it’s usually in the late fall, | 通常是在深秋时节 |
| [23:21] | when the summer people have gone and… | 那时夏季的游客都走了 |
| [23:24] | I can hear the wind and the water, | 我能听见风声和海浪声 |
| [23:28] | and the birds, nothing else. | 还有鸟鸣 没有其它杂音 |
| [23:32] | That’s when my heart, like, hurts | 这种时候 我就会心痛 |
| [23:34] | for how beautiful it is out here. | 因为这景致实在太美了 |
| [23:38] | I want to… | 我想要 |
| [23:41] | drink the air. | 畅饮空气 |
| [23:44] | Live in the sunsets. | 活在夕阳里 |
| [23:50] | And then I… | 然后我 |
| [23:52] | It’s not that I feel forgiven exactly, | 我并不是说感到被原谅了 |
| [23:56] | but I feel at peace with what happened. | 但我对过往的事感到平静和安宁 |
| [24:04] | What? | 什么事 |
| [24:05] | Forgiven for what? | 为什么事得到原谅 |
| [24:09] | I mean, what happened to your son wasn’t your fault. | 你儿子的意外不是你的错 |
| [24:14] | Was it? | 难道是吗 |
| [24:17] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [24:19] | How? I thought your husband was with him. | 怎么会 你丈夫当时不是跟他在一起吗 |
| [24:25] | No, he-he didn’t drown in the water. | 不 他不是溺水身亡的 |
| [24:29] | Um, he had fluid in his lungs, | 他肺部有积水 |
| [24:31] | and I didn’t take him to the hospital. | 我没送他去医院 |
| [24:35] | He drowned in his sleep. | 他在睡梦中淹溺的 |
| [24:39] | That can happen? | 有这种事 |
| [24:43] | It’s called secondary drowning. | 这叫继发性淹溺 |
| [24:47] | I never heard of it. | 我从没听过 |
| [24:50] | He seemed fine, and then at night, | 他本来看着没事 但到了晚上 |
| [24:52] | he vomited, had diarrhea. | 他上吐下泻 |
| [24:57] | He said his shoulder hurt, and… | 他说他肩膀疼 |
| [25:01] | Cole wanted me to take him to the hospital, | 科尔叫我送他去医院 |
| [25:02] | but I-I was… I was mad at Cole. | 但我当时在生科尔的气 |
| [25:06] | Because he had spent the whole day | 因为他那一整天 |
| [25:08] | flirting with Jocelyn. | 都在跟乔斯琳调情 |
| [25:09] | It was just… | 就是… |
| [25:10] | And… | 然后… |
| [25:16] | I was a nurse, you know. I thought I knew better. | 我当时是护士 我以为我懂 |
| [25:25] | In the morning, he was gray. | 到了早上 他全身发灰 |
| [25:29] | He died without making a sound. | 没发出任何声响就死了 |
| [25:36] | Jesus. | 老天 |
| [25:38] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [25:40] | Maybe you didn’t want to know all that. | 也许你并不想知道那么多 |
| [25:43] | Of course I did. | 我当然想知道了 |
| [25:46] | I do. | 现在仍想知道 |
| [26:00] | I’ve had this, um… | 我最近 |
| [26:03] | recurring dream lately, | 重复做同一个梦 |
| [26:07] | where I’m talking to Gabriel. | 在梦里我在跟加百列说话 |
| [26:10] | And, um, he’s a teenager. | 他是青少年了 |
| [26:14] | And I’m sitting on the edge of his bed, and… | 我坐在他的床沿 |
| [26:17] | His little mustache. | 他有一点胡子 |
| [26:19] | And his feet smell. | 他的脚很臭 |
| [26:22] | He’s listening to music. | 他在听音乐 |
| [26:25] | And he keeps saying, “Go away, Mom. | 嘴里一直说 妈妈走开 |
| [26:28] | Leave me alone.” | 别管我 |
| [26:31] | I know that’s what he needs. | 我知道那是他需要的 |
| [26:35] | I just can’t. | 但我就是走不开 |
| [26:36] | I can’t leave. | 我无法离开 |
| [26:40] | Keeps telling me to go, and I just can’t get off… | 他不断叫我走 但我就是无法离开… |
| [26:44] | off the bed. | 他的床 |
| [26:52] | And he’s so angry at me. | 他很生气 |
| [26:55] | And his skin is still so gray. | 他的皮肤还是死灰的 |
| [27:06] | Anyway… | 总之 |
| [27:10] | You know, some days, I’m-I’m proud | 有时 我为自己筑起的生活 |
| [27:12] | of the life that I’ve built. | 感到骄傲 |
| [27:15] | You know, I have my daughter and my career, and… | 我有个女儿 也有事业 |
| [27:18] | I’ve grown, persevered. | 我成长了 坚持不懈 |
| [27:25] | And I think he’d be proud of me, too. | 我想他也会为我感到骄傲 |
| [27:30] | And then sometimes, it just feels like a giant charade, | 但有时 我觉得这都是装腔作势 |
| [27:32] | and I’m still the same broken person I was at the hospital, | 我仍是那天在医院里那个心碎的人 |
| [27:36] | the same empty shell at his funeral, | 他葬礼上那个徒有空壳的人 |
| [27:39] | and this is all a joke I’ve been playing on myself. | 现在这一切都是我对自己开的玩笑 |
| [27:41] | This life that I am trying to live. | 我努力想过上的这个生活 |
| [27:51] | No, I… | 不 我… |
| [28:44] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [28:46] | What’s it look like I’m doing? | 我看起来像在干什么 |
| [28:49] | I want you to dance with me. | 我想跟你跳舞 |
| [28:56] | Come on. It’s my favorite song. | 来吧 这是我最喜欢的歌 |
| [29:15] | What happens to people like us? | 我们这种人会怎么样 |
| [29:18] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [29:21] | The ones who can’t be forgiven. | 无法得到原谅的人 |
| [29:24] | The shrinks will say we have to forgive ourselves. | 心理医生会说 我们得原谅自己 |
| [29:31] | I can’t. | 我做不到 |
| [29:36] | But if you don’t, if you don’t, then… | 但如果你不原谅自己 |
| [29:40] | what’s the rest of your life? | 你余下的生命要怎么过 |
| [29:42] | One long penance? | 一段漫长的忏悔 |
| [29:48] | My mom believes that we live multiple lives | 我妈妈相信我们有多次人生 |
| [29:51] | and that each one is a step toward, | 每一次都会更进一步 |
| [29:53] | you know, nirvana, I guess. | 更接近天堂 |
| [29:58] | Perfection. | 完美 |
| [30:01] | We just keep coming back until we get it right. | 我们不断轮回 直到终于实现这个目标 |
| [30:08] | Maybe this is as far as I come in this life. | 也许这辈子我只能走到这一步 |
| [30:14] | So you’re just waiting to die? | 那你只是等死吗 |
| [30:20] | Aren’t you? | 你不是吗 |
| [30:23] | If you’re really being honest with yourself? | 如果你真的对自己诚实的话 |
| [30:30] | No. | 不是 |
| [30:35] | I want to live. | 我想活着 |
| [30:53] | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等等 等等 等等 等等 |
| [30:54] | – No. Wait. – No. Don’t think– | -不 等等 -不 别以为… |
| [30:55] | What do you want? | 你想要什么 |
| [30:57] | Alison, you tell me. | 艾莉森 你告诉我 |
| [31:02] | I’ll do whatever you want. | 你想让我做什么都可以 |
| [31:06] | Alison, what do you want? | 艾莉森 你想要什么 |
| [31:24] | Let’s go to your bedroom. | 咱们去卧室吧 |
| [31:26] | No, no, no, no, no. | 不 不 不 不 不 |
| [31:28] | I have a better idea. | 我有个更好的主意 |
| [31:52] | Wait, wait, wait. | 等等 等等 等等 |
| [31:55] | Don’t mess with my heart, okay? | 别伤我的心 好吗 |
| [31:57] | I can’t handle any more pain. | 我再也承受不了更多的苦痛了 |
| [32:00] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [32:02] | I won’t. | 我不会的 |
| [32:04] | Promise? | 你保证 |
| [32:07] | I promise. | 我保证 |
| [32:28] | You know what I want? | 你知道我想要什么吗 |
| [32:29] | What? | 什么 |
| [32:31] | This. | 就这样 |
| [32:33] | For days. | 几天 |
| [32:35] | Forever. | 永远 |
| [32:40] | Well, maybe you’ll get it. | 也许你会如愿以偿的 |
| [32:52] | I want to go clean up. | 我想去收拾一下 |
| [32:53] | No, no, not yet. | 不 不 还没到时候 |
| [32:55] | No. | 不 |
| [32:56] | I’m tired. | 我累了 |
| [32:59] | Let me do the dishes, and then we can go to bed. | 我去洗碗 然后我们就能去睡觉了 |
| [33:06] | Okay. | 好 |
| [35:02] | 第二话 艾莉森 | |
| [35:05] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [35:08] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [35:09] | Can I come in? | 我能进来吗 |
| [35:11] | Yeah. Yeah, of course. | 能 可以 当然可以 |
| [35:16] | Didn’t you hear me knocking? | 你没听到我敲门吗 |
| [35:18] | Uh, no, uh… | 没听到… |
| [35:20] | Sorry, I had the music up. | 抱歉 我开着音乐 |
| [35:27] | What happened to your hand? | 你的手怎么了 |
| [35:28] | – Uh, it’s fine. It’s… – You okay? Let me see. | -没什么 就是… -你没事吧 我看看 |
| [35:29] | No, it’s fine. It’s just, I need a Band-Aid. | 没有 没什么的 就是需要个创可贴 |
| [35:33] | You know, a stubborn streak like that | 在战斗中那么固执 |
| [35:34] | will get you killed in combat. | 是会害自己被杀掉的 |
| [35:57] | So? | 所以呢 |
| [35:58] | So. | 所以 |
| [35:59] | So, what happened to you? | 所以你发生什么事了 |
| [36:00] | Why’d you stand me up? | 你为什么放我鸽子 |
| [36:01] | I went to L.A. For the weekend. | 我周末去洛杉矶了 |
| [36:03] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [36:05] | To visit a friend. | 看个朋友 |
| [36:06] | You didn’t call and tell me you changed your plans? | 你没给我打电话告诉我你改变计划了 |
| [36:09] | I mean, I waited outside that yoga studio | 我在那个瑜伽馆外面 |
| [36:10] | for an hour, Alison. | 等了一个小时 艾莉森 |
| [36:14] | Why don’t you sit? | 你为什么不坐下 |
| [36:15] | Um, I’ll make us some tea. | 我去泡点茶 |
| [36:23] | I thought we were going out to dinner. | 我以为我们要出去吃饭 |
| [36:25] | No, I just wanted to talk to you for a bit first. | 不 我只是想先和你谈谈 |
| [36:29] | I’m really hungry. | 我真的饿坏了 |
| [36:30] | Won’t take long. | 不会很久的 |
| [36:32] | Um, let me take your wet coat. | 我把你的湿衣服挂起来吧 |
| [36:53] | So, about the other night, I– | 关于那晚 我… |
| [36:55] | Before you talk, can I say something first? | 在我们谈之前 我能先说点什么吗 |
| [37:00] | Of course. | 当然可以 |
| [37:03] | Uh, you can’t do stuff like that to me. | 你不能那样对我 |
| [37:07] | – Stuff like what? – Stand me up. | -哪样 -放我鸽子 |
| [37:09] | Not call me for four days. | 四天不给我打电话 |
| [37:10] | I mean, it’s taken a lot for me to trust you. | 我费了很大力气才能相信你 |
| [37:13] | Okay, I’m making myself really vulnerable here, you know? | 好吗 我把自己弄得非常脆弱 你知道吗 |
| [37:19] | Uh, yeah, yeah, I-I know. I… | 知道 知道 我知道 我… |
| [37:22] | Okay. Good. | 好 很好 |
| [37:24] | I… I just had to say that. | 我… 我只是得说出来 |
| [37:29] | What do you want to talk about? | 你想谈什么 |
| [37:39] | Alison, what’s going on? | 艾莉森 怎么了 |
| [37:43] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [37:45] | Uh, yeah, I just wanted to ask some questions. | 没事 我只是想问几个问题 |
| [37:47] | I just… | 我只是… |
| [37:50] | You know, it occurred to me we don’t really | 我突然想起来 |
| [37:51] | know that much about each other. | 我们没那么了解对方 |
| [37:54] | Yeah, like, uh, I had no idea you knew anyone in California. | 是啊 我就不知道你在加利福尼亚有朋友 |
| [38:00] | Of course. | 当然 |
| [38:02] | What do you want to talk about? I’ll tell you anything. | 你想谈什么 我知无不言 言无不尽 |
| [38:07] | Okay. Okay. | 好 好 |
| [38:16] | Where’d you grow up? | 你在哪长大的 |
| [38:19] | The Bronx. | 布朗克斯 |
| [38:22] | What’s your family like? | 你的家里什么情况 |
| [38:24] | I’m, uh, the third of four. | 我在家里四个男孩里排老三 |
| [38:27] | Four boys and a girl. | 家里有四个男孩一个女孩 |
| [38:31] | Where are your parents? | 你父母在哪 |
| [38:32] | My dad still lives on 186th, | 我爸还住在186大街 |
| [38:34] | and my mom is dead. | 我妈去世了 |
| [38:37] | She died of leukemia when I was 21. | 在我21岁的时候她死于白血病 |
| [38:42] | – Sorry. I– – It’s okay. | -对不起 我… -没事的 |
| [38:43] | Um, anything else? | 还有要问的吗 |
| [38:47] | Um, yeah. Where do you live now? | 你现在住在哪里 |
| [38:51] | Hicksville, but you know that already. | 希克斯维尔 但你已经知道了 |
| [38:52] | Who do you live with? | 你和谁一起住 |
| [38:54] | What? | 什么 |
| [38:55] | – What do you mean? – Do you have | -什么意思 -你有 |
| [38:56] | a roommate or, you know, family, any…? | 室友或者家人吗 |
| [38:59] | Wh-Where are these questions coming from? | 为什么要问这些问题 |
| [39:01] | I’m just… just curious. It’s just… | 我只是…有点好奇 只是 |
| [39:02] | – This have to do with Cole? – Cole? What? No. | -这跟科尔有关系吗 -科尔 什么 不是的 |
| [39:05] | You know what’s fucked-up about that guy? | 你知不知道那个家伙是哪里有问题 |
| [39:07] | – About Cole? – Yeah, he-he came | -科尔吗 -是的 他参加了 |
| [39:09] | to an AA meeting, but he’s not an addict, is he? | 一个戒酒小组 但他不嗜酒对吧 |
| [39:11] | – Not that I’m aware of, no. – Well, that’s bullshit. | -就我所知不是的 -这太扯了 |
| [39:13] | Well, I’m sure he had a good reason for being there. | 我敢确定他去那里肯定是有很好的理由的 |
| [39:15] | It’s a little perverse, don’t you think? | 这有点说不过去你不觉得吗 |
| [39:17] | Those meetings are vulnerable spaces. | 那种小组是让人脆弱的地方 |
| [39:18] | The guys really have to trust each other. | 大家一定要相信彼此才可以 |
| [39:22] | I-I’m happy to keep talking. | 我很愿意继续聊下去 |
| [39:24] | I just need something to eat. I’m really starving. | 我只是需要吃点东西 我真的很饿 |
| [39:27] | Uh, sure. I-I can make you some eggs or… | 没问题 我可以给你做点鸡蛋 或者… |
| [39:32] | uh, maybe some… | 或者做点… |
| [39:33] | I have, uh… | 我这里有… |
| [39:34] | – crackers and cheese? – Yeah, yeah, anything. | -饼干和奶酪 -行 可以 什么都行 |
| [40:05] | Have you ever been married? | 你结过婚吗 |
| [40:09] | Why are you asking me that? | 你为什么要问我这个 |
| [40:10] | It’s just a question. | 就是随便问问 |
| [40:11] | What happened in California? | 在加利福尼亚州发生了什么 |
| [40:15] | Who’s this friend you went to go see? | 你去看的是哪个朋友 |
| [40:19] | Went to see my ex-husband. | 我去看我前夫了 |
| [40:23] | Okay. How’d that go? | 好吧 你们见的怎么样 |
| [40:25] | Fine. | 还行 |
| [40:27] | Well, he must have said something that upset you. | 他肯定是说了什么惹你生气的话了 |
| [40:28] | No, that’s not what this is about. | 那跟这些无关 |
| [40:32] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [40:33] | It just seemed like everything was fine last week, | 只是上周一切似乎都还很好 |
| [40:35] | and then you stand me up, flee to California | 然后你放我鸽子 跑去加利福尼亚 |
| [40:38] | and talk to your ex? | 去找你的前夫 |
| [40:40] | Suddenly, I’m the bad guy? | 突然之间我成了坏人 |
| [40:49] | Ben, are you married? | 本 你结婚了吗 |
| [40:54] | Why would I be here if I was married? | 如果我结婚了我还待在这干什么 |
| [41:02] | Have you ever… | 你之前… |
| [41:04] | Have you ever been married? | 你之前结过婚吗 |
| [41:06] | – No. – Do you live alone? | -没有 -你一个人住吗 |
| [41:08] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [41:21] | Do you have kids? | 你有孩子吗 |
| [41:24] | No. | 没有 |
| [41:32] | What kind of tea do you want? | 你想喝什么茶 |
| [41:59] | I don’t want tea. | 我不想喝茶 |
| [42:10] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
| [42:12] | What happened? | 发生了什么 |
| [42:15] | You don’t trust me anymore. | 你不再相信我了 |
| [42:26] | This thing that’s happening between us | 我们之间存在的感觉 |
| [42:30] | doesn’t happen to me all the time. | 对我来说是不常有的 |
| [42:33] | Does it happen to you? | 对你来说不是的吗 |
| [42:44] | So, why are you trying to fuck it up? | 那你为什么想要搞砸它 |
| [42:57] | You don’t even know me, Ben. | 你都不了解我 本 |
| [42:59] | Yes, I do. | 我了解的 |
| [43:01] | And I don’t know you. | 而且我也不了解你 |
| [43:26] | I-I’ve been in love twice in my life. | 我这辈子爱过两个人 |
| [43:29] | – Am I one of them? – No. | -我是其中一个吗 -不是 |
| [43:32] | Okay. Your two exes, I assume. | 好吧 我猜是你的两任前夫 |
| [43:34] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [43:36] | They were really different loves, | 对他们俩的爱是不同的 |
| [43:37] | but they had something in common. | 但其中是有共同之处的 |
| [43:40] | I-I felt kind of like the victim in both situations. | 在这两段关系里我都觉得自己像是受害者 |
| [43:48] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [43:49] | How so? | 为什么这么说 |
| [43:53] | Well, my… with my first, with Cole, I was… | 当我跟第一任 跟科尔在一起的时候 |
| [43:57] | I was always a mess. | 我总是弄的一团糟 |
| [43:59] | He was always the solid one, and I was always falling apart. | 他一直很坚定 而我总是分崩离析 |
| [44:03] | And I convinced myself that he would one day cheat on me. | 然后我让我自己相信总有一天他会出轨的 |
| [44:07] | So, instead, I… I cheated on him. | 所以到最后是我出轨了 |
| [44:12] | And even after it was over, I still told myself | 但就算在我们结束了之后 我还是跟自己说 |
| [44:15] | that he was to blame. | 有错的是他 |
| [44:18] | I told myself that he had driven me to do it | 我跟自己说是他逼我出轨的 |
| [44:21] | because he was so unfeeling, so rigid. | 因为他是如此无情 如此顽固 |
| [44:24] | After our son died, he… | 在我们的儿子去世之后 他… |
| [44:26] | he made me carry the grief for both of us, | 他让我一个人承受两个人的悲痛 |
| [44:27] | so what choice did I have, really? | 说实话我又有什么选择呢 |
| [44:29] | – You didn’t. – Then, with Noah, | -你是没什么选择 -然后跟诺亚在一起的时候 |
| [44:31] | it was the opposite. He was the dreamer. | 情况完全相反 他才是那个幻想家 |
| [44:32] | He was the dramatic one. He… I was the homebody. | 他是比较夸张的那个…我以家庭为重 |
| [44:34] | He said that I grounded him, and yet I cheated on him, too. | 他说是我拘禁了他 但我还是出轨了 |
| [44:39] | And yet again, I convinced myself | 然后我又一次让自己相信 |
| [44:42] | that I was not to blame, | 这都不怪我 |
| [44:44] | because he had abandoned me for his career, his ambition, | 因为他为了自己的事业和野心抛弃了我 |
| [44:46] | so… what else could I do? | 那我又能有什么办法呢 |
| [44:49] | Okay. What are you trying to say? | 好吧 你是想表达什么 |
| [44:51] | I-I-I just… I just think that sometimes we get | 我只是觉得有时候我们会 |
| [44:54] | into these patterns in life, and we tell ourselves a story | 陷入这种生活模式里 我们告诉自己 |
| [44:58] | about what kind of person we are | 我们是什么样的人 |
| [44:59] | and how people treat us, and it’s not always true. | 别人是怎么对我们的 但并不一定都是对的 |
| [45:04] | And… and as painful as it’s been to really | 而且…我承认是我的错 |
| [45:07] | own up to my faults and to recognize that… | 这让我感到非常痛苦 |
| [45:11] | I contributed to these relationships falling apart, | 我意识到是我让这些感情发生破裂 |
| [45:14] | it’s also… | 这也… |
| [45:17] | it’s been really… | 真的… |
| [45:26] | Made me like myself in a way that I never did before. | 让我比之前还要更喜欢我自己 |
| [45:39] | Ben? | 本 |
| [45:49] | Ben, please just be honest with me. | 本 求你对我说实话 |
| [45:52] | I can take it. | 我能承受的了 |
| [46:10] | Just tell me who you are. | 告诉我你到底是谁 |
| [46:14] | Tell me the truth. | 告诉我真相 |
| [46:38] | You want to know who I am? | 你想知道我是谁 |
| [46:43] | Really? | 真的 |
| [46:46] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [46:51] | Okay. All right. | 那好吧 |
| [46:55] | You… | 你 |
| [47:00] | What are you doing? | 你这是做什么 |
| [47:02] | I’m gonna need a drink for this. | 我得先喝一杯 |
| [47:06] | Ben, don’t. | 别这样 本 |
| [47:08] | It’s fine, Alison. | 没事的 艾莉森 |
| [47:23] | I haven’t told you what I did, have I? | 我还没告诉过你我干的那些事吧 |
| [47:27] | What do you mean? | 你这是什么意思 |
| [47:30] | During the war. | 战争那会儿 |
| [47:34] | No. | 你没说过 |
| [47:36] | Are you comfortable? | 你舒服吗 |
| [47:37] | Maybe you should sit. | 还是坐下吧 |
| [47:38] | I’m fine. | 我没事 |
| [47:41] | Good. | 那好 |
| [47:43] | This may take a while. | 我得说上一阵子了 |
| [47:50] | I was deployed for too long. | 我被派驻的时间太长 |
| [47:51] | Only four months home. | 只有四个月的时间在家 |
| [47:53] | Half of which I spent in the fucking hospital | 一半还他妈待在医院 |
| [47:55] | because a fucking IED took off both my buddy’s legs | 一个简易爆炸装置把我一朋友的两条腿炸没了 |
| [47:59] | and all the skin off mine. | 也炸烂了我全部的皮肤 |
| [48:04] | But then I was right back in the sandbox. | 然后我很快地又被派回了阿富汗 |
| [48:07] | I mean, I barely had time to visit my father | 我都没来得及见见我父亲 |
| [48:09] | before they shipped me back out. | 他们就又把我派回去了 |
| [48:13] | Six months into my second deployment, | 第二次派驻六个月后 |
| [48:15] | I didn’t give a shit anymore. | 我什么都不管了 |
| [48:17] | I was done. | 我彻底烂了 |
| [48:18] | All the other guys, they were all, | 其他的那些士兵们 他们都说着 |
| [48:19] | “Oh, I’m part of a machine that never loses. | “我是这个无往不胜的杀人机器的一员 |
| [48:21] | I’m a U.S. Marine.” | 我可是美国海军陆战队员” |
| [48:22] | I was like, “We’re losing, assholes. | 我想的是 “我们输定了 蠢货 |
| [48:24] | We fucking lost.” | 我们他妈输定了” |
| [48:30] | Everyone knew it. | 大家都心知肚明 |
| [48:32] | Even the president knew it. | 甚至总统也清楚得很 |
| [48:34] | But there I was again, back in the shit. | 但我还是在那儿 派到那个鬼地方去了 |
| [48:37] | More counter-insurgency nonsense, | 全是那些镇压暴动的狗屁话 |
| [48:39] | where they can shoot us but we can’t shoot them. | 他们可以射我们 我们却不能开枪 |
| [48:42] | Ben, stop. | 本 别说了 |
| [48:44] | Let me finish, please. | 让我说完吧 求求你了 |
| [48:51] | We took a Humvee out of the base one morning to get fuel. | 有天早上我们拉了辆悍马出去加油 |
| [48:54] | It was a stupid thing to do. | 还有比这更蠢的事吗 |
| [48:56] | It was one of those orders that comes from above. | 那是上头下的命令 |
| [48:59] | Everyone knows it’s a fucking suicide mission, | 大家都知道这他妈就是个自杀任务 |
| [49:02] | and I was like, “Let it come. | 我心想 “来吧 |
| [49:06] | If I can’t go home in an airplane, | 要是我没法坐飞机回去 |
| [49:07] | then I’ll go home in a casket.” | 就把我放进棺材带回去吧” |
| [49:15] | This kid… | 有个小孩 |
| [49:17] | he came running towards us with a burnt-out RPG. | 手里拿着一个用过的火箭筒朝我们跑来 |
| [49:21] | He must have found it discarded somewhere, and… | 不知道在哪捡的 然后 |
| [49:24] | and he pointed it at me. | 然后他对准了我 |
| [49:26] | He was just playing around. | 他只是玩玩而已啊 |
| [49:30] | But I killed him. | 我却一枪毙了他 |
| [49:32] | You what? | 你做了什么 |
| [49:36] | Yeah. I shot him. | 没错 我毙了他 |
| [49:40] | Wait. | 等下 |
| [49:42] | But you knew he was unarmed. | 你明明知道他没有武装 |
| [49:44] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [49:48] | Yeah, I mean, there was no grenade attached. | 我知道 火箭筒上没有榴弹 |
| [49:50] | I could see that. | 我看到了 |
| [49:52] | But you shot him anyway? | 但你还是射了他 |
| [49:57] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [50:02] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [50:06] | I think I just wanted to go home. | 我想我只是想回家吧 |
| [50:15] | So there. | 好了 |
| [50:17] | Now you know me. | 现在你知道了我的真面目 |
| [50:19] | That’s who I am. | 这就是我 |
| [50:25] | Are you sorry? | 你有没有感到后悔 |
| [50:26] | Of course I’m sorry. | 当然 我悔恨的很 |
| [50:29] | But it wasn’t my fucking fault. | 但这他妈不是我的错 |
| [50:31] | That kid was old enough to know what he was doing. | 那个小孩已经到懂得自己在做什么的年纪了 |
| [50:33] | He shouldn’t have been playing with a fucking gun. | 他怎么能玩枪呢 |
| [50:35] | But you knew it wasn’t an actual weapon. | 但你知道那不是真的武器 |
| [50:38] | So, why’d you do it? | 为什么还要这么做 |
| [50:42] | Why do you kill an ant, Alison? | 你为什么杀死一只蚂蚁 艾莉森 |
| [50:45] | Why do you kill a mouse? | 你为什么要杀一只老鼠 |
| [50:47] | Because you don’t fucking want it | 因为你他妈不想看到它 |
| [50:48] | running around your house. | 在你家跑来跑去啊 |
| [50:50] | Because you don’t want it bothering you. | 因为你不想被它烦死 |
| [51:01] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [51:14] | Ben, it’s getting late. | 本 天晚了 |
| [51:17] | I think maybe I should go to bed. | 我要上床睡觉了 |
| [51:19] | Fantastic. I’ll join you. | 好 我一会儿就来 |
| [51:21] | No, I-I want to be alone. | 不 我还是一个人吧 |
| [51:23] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [51:25] | I-I’m just… it’s just been a long week, | 我 这周经历了太多事 |
| [51:28] | – and I’m… I’m really tired. – Tired of fucking your | -而且我真的很累了 -累于和你的 |
| [51:30] | – ex-husband in California? – Oh, my God, no. | -前夫在加利福尼亚做爱 -天 不是的 |
| [51:32] | – That’s not what happened. – Come on, Alison. | -不是这样的 -得了吧 艾莉森 |
| [51:33] | Okay, you don’t have to believe me. | 你不相信就算了 |
| [51:35] | Good, because I don’t. | 好 我还真的不信 |
| [51:36] | Okay, Ben, I just want you to go. | 本 我希望你离开 |
| [51:40] | What’s going on? | 到底怎么了 |
| [51:43] | Last week was fine. | 上周还好好的 |
| [51:45] | You go to California, | 你去了一趟加利福尼亚 |
| [51:45] | you come back a different person. | 回来就变了个人 |
| [51:48] | I’m a different person? What about you? | 我变了个人 那你呢 |
| [51:50] | – I mean– – This is who I am. | -我是说 -这就是我 |
| [51:52] | This is who I’ve always been. You’re just peeling the onion. | 我一直是这样的人 你只是剥到洋葱里面了 |
| [51:54] | Yeah, but you didn’t tell me that you’re, uh… | 但你没告诉我 你… |
| [51:58] | What? What, I didn’t tell you | 什么 你是说 我没告诉你 |
| [52:00] | what happened in the sandbox? | 在阿富汗发生的事吗 |
| [52:01] | I’m sorry, I was building up to that. | 不好意思 我在等机会 |
| [52:03] | It’s not exactly first-date material. | 初次约会可不适合谈这种话题 |
| [52:04] | – No, you didn’t tell me that– – What? | -不是 你没告诉我 -告诉你什么 |
| [52:06] | Nothing, okay? I just want you to leave. | 没什么 行了吧 我只想请你离开 |
| [52:08] | I don’t want this. | 我不想这样子 |
| [52:10] | You don’t want what? | 你不想怎样 |
| [52:14] | You don’t want this? | 你不想这样 |
| [52:22] | Or this? | 还是这样 |
| [52:34] | No. | 不想 |
| [52:40] | Please go. | 请出去 |
| [52:52] | I can’t believe you’re doing this. | 不敢相信你竟然这样 |
| [52:55] | Why are you fucking doing this? | 你为什么要这么做 |
| [53:12] | Ben, please, I… | 本 拜托 我… |
| [53:15] | I just need a minute. | 给我点时间 |
| [53:17] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [53:23] | I need you, Alison. | 我需要你 艾莉森 |
| [53:27] | I’m in so much pain. | 我真的很痛苦 |
| [53:44] | I know it scares you. | 我知道这吓到你了 |
| [53:46] | It scares me, too, | 我也怕 |
| [53:48] | but we could be good together. | 但我们在一起会好的 |
| [53:52] | I know. | 我坚信 |
| [53:58] | You can do this. | 你可以的 |
| [54:02] | Yes, you can. We both can. | 没错 你可以的 我们可以的 |
| [54:05] | – We both can. – No. | -我们可以的 -不 |
| [54:08] | I need you so badly. | 我非常想要你 |
| [54:11] | I just need this. | 我需要这样 |
| [54:14] | I need this, Alison. I need you. | 我需要这样 艾莉森 我需要你 |
| [54:16] | You need to go home. | 你该回家去了 |
| [54:17] | Just give me a minute. | 给我点时间 |
| [54:18] | – Please. No. – Just give me a minute. | -拜托 不要 -给我点时间 |
| [54:19] | Just go home to your fucking wife. | 快回家找你老婆亲热吧 |
| [54:25] | Go home to who? | 回家找谁 |
| [54:29] | What did you say? | 你刚刚说什么 |
| [54:34] | What do you know about my wife, Alison? | 你对我老婆了解多少 艾莉森 |
| [54:36] | I met her, you asshole. | 我见过她了 你个混蛋 |
| [54:37] | You what? | 你干了什么 |
| [54:39] | When? | 什么时候 |
| [54:41] | Last week at your office. | 上周在你办公室 |
| [54:42] | Did you tell her about– | 你有没有告诉她… |
| [54:44] | No, but I will. I swear. | 没有 但我会的 我发誓 |
| [54:47] | If you don’t get out of here right now. | 如果你现在不滚出我家的话 |
| [54:48] | If you ever fucking say anything to Heidi– | 如果你和海蒂透露半点消息 |
| [54:50] | So just leave, and I won’t. | 你现在离开 我不会透露半句 |
| [54:52] | And we never have to see each other again, okay? | 我们以后不相往来 行了吧 |
| [55:01] | You seduced me. | 你勾引的我 |
| [55:03] | I told you I was sober. | 我告诉你我在戒酒 |
| [55:05] | – Ben. – I told you I couldn’t | -本 -我告诉你我不能 |
| [55:07] | get involved with anyone, but you wouldn’t leave me alone. | 和任何人发生关系 但你就是穷追不舍 |
| [55:09] | That’s not true. | 不是这样的 |
| [55:10] | – I didn’t want this. – Yes, you did. | -我不想这样 -不 你想这样 |
| [55:12] | I’m fucking drinking again because of you. | 因为你我戒酒失败了 |
| [55:15] | Why don’t you admit what you are, huh? | 你怎么就不愿面对自己的为人呢 |
| [55:18] | What I am? | 我是什么人 |
| [55:20] | You broke up two marriages. | 你破坏了两段婚姻 |
| [55:21] | What, that wasn’t enough for you? | 怎么 这样你还嫌不够 |
| [55:24] | Say this is your fault. | 只要你说都是你的错 |
| [55:28] | And then I’ll leave. | 我就离开这里 |
| [55:34] | I don’t owe you a thing. | 我不欠你什么 |
| [55:37] | You’re an adult. | 你是个成年人 |
| [55:39] | I didn’t seduce you. | 我没有勾引你 |
| [55:41] | And even if I did, I’m allowed to change my fucking mind. | 就算我有 我他妈改变主意了 |
| [55:44] | Now, get the fuck out of my house | 现在 在我拨通你老婆电话前 |
| [55:45] | before I call your fucking wife. | 赶快滚出我家 |
| [56:46] | What are you gonna do, Ben? | 你要干什么 本 |
| [56:49] | You gonna kill me? | 你要杀了我吗 |
| [56:52] | You think that scares me? | 你以为这就能吓到我吗 |
| [56:56] | My son died. | 我儿子死了 |
| [56:59] | He died in my fucking arms. | 他就死在我怀里 |
| [57:07] | So, what in God’s name do you think you can do to me | 所以 你以为你要对我做的事 |
| [57:09] | that I haven’t done to myself… | 我自己没有想过… |
| [57:13] | A million times? | 千万遍吗 |
| [57:18] | I have been in pain my entire life. | 我一辈子活在痛苦之中 |
| [57:23] | And maybe that’s what makes people | 或者正因如此才让人们 |
| [57:24] | think that I’m weak. | 觉得我很软弱 |
| [57:27] | And maybe that makes people treat me | 或者正因如此人们才会 |
| [57:29] | like some sort of receptacle for all their grief and rage. | 把我当成他们悲伤 愤怒以及失望时的 |
| [57:36] | And disappointment. | 出气筒 |
| [57:40] | But I am fucking sick of it. | 但我受够了 |
| [57:47] | I just want to live a different life. | 我想过不一样的生活 |
| [57:51] | I want to live a different story. | 书写不一样的人生 |
| [57:55] | I’m still young. | 我还年轻 |
| [57:58] | I can be someone else. | 我可以有所改变 |
| [58:00] | Someone who deserves love. | 变成一个有人爱的人 |
| [58:04] | Someone who can be happy. | 变成一个快乐的人 |
| [58:16] | I was coming back for her, | 我去找她了 |
| [58:17] | but it was too late. | 但为时已晚 |
| [58:20] | It’s your wife! She just died! | 她是你妻子 她刚刚过世了 |
| [58:22] | You shouldn’t be here. | 你不该待在这里 |
| [58:24] | I just can’t stop thinking about how much I failed her. | 我忍不住在想是我让她失望了 |
| [58:27] | She’s my daughter. | 她是我的女儿 |
| [58:28] | She’s my wife! | 她是我的妻子 |
| [58:31] | I’m so sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [58:33] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [58:34] | Just once, I’d like to come home, | 哪怕就一次 我希望回到家 |
| [58:37] | just a normal scene for a change. | 能够看到些许改变 |