| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Hockey, a time honored tradition for the Goldberg’s gang. | 冰球 金伯格家有着悠久历史传统的运动 |
| [00:06] | My dad raised us watching the Flyers, | 在成长过程中 爸让我们看飞人队比赛 |
| [00:08] | and dreamed of us being as cool and tough as the broad street bullies. | 梦想着我们成为和”布罗德街恶霸”一样的酷汉子 |
| [00:12] | Of course, what I lacked in size and strength, | 当然了 对于我缺乏的个头和力量 |
| [00:15] | I made up for with clumsiness and asthma. | 我用笨手笨脚和哮喘来弥补 |
| [00:17] | My costume is so uncomfortable. | 我的戏服穿着太不舒服了 |
| [00:19] | It’s a jersey, not a costume. | 这是球衣 不是戏服 |
| [00:22] | Geez. | 老天 |
| [00:23] | It didn’t matter that I was total scrub, | 我水平极臭根本没关系 |
| [00:25] | my dad thought I could be great someday. | 我爸觉得有一天我会变优秀 |
| [00:27] | And I didn’t want to let him down. | 我不想让他失望 |
| [00:29] | – You ready? – Hell yeah. | -你准备好了吗 -当然 |
| [00:31] | I’m ready to hockey it up. | 我准备好去冰一冰了 |
| [00:35] | There he is, my little ice angel. | 他在这里啊 我的冰上小天使 |
| [00:38] | Remember our rule — the real winner is safety. | 记住我们的规则 真正的胜利者是安全 |
| [00:41] | It’s the big leagues, Bevy. | 那是职业联盟赛 贝弗 |
| [00:44] | He’s in junior peewee now. | 他打的是小屁孩联赛 |
| [00:46] | This is the year that Adam scores his first goal. | 这将是亚当第一次进球的赛季 |
| [00:48] | Murray, I don’t understand why you insist he plays. | 默里 我不明白你为什么坚持让他参赛 |
| [00:51] | Adam, be careful on that ice. It’s very slippery. | 亚当 在冰上要小心 太滑了 |
| [00:54] | Why don’t you just skate around with him all game | 你不如在比赛过程中跟着他 |
| [00:56] | and make sure he stays safe? | 确保他的安全 |
| [00:57] | I know you’re joking, but I would do that | 我知道你在开玩笑 如果事态紧急 |
| [00:59] | if the situation presented itself. | 我一定会的 |
| [01:01] | Hockey wasn’t my thing, but it was Barry’s everything. | 冰球不是我的专长 却是巴瑞的一切 |
| [01:05] | Whoo! What a hit! | 打得真惨 |
| [01:07] | I don’t think he’s getting up. | 我想他起不来了 |
| [01:08] | I told you — Flyers got to hit to win. | 我告诉过你了 飞人队得打到胜利 |
| [01:11] | I’m Freddy Krueger! | 我是弗莱迪·克鲁格[《猛鬼街》] |
| [01:12] | I’m gonna haunt your dreams, fool! | 我会在梦中让你无法安宁 笨蛋 |
| [01:14] | – What’s he doing? – Just ignore him. | -他在做什么 -无视就行 |
| [01:16] | He’ll wear himself out. | 他会自己叫累的 |
| [01:19] | That’s enough. That’s enough. | 够了 够了 |
| [01:21] | Let me watch the game. Stop. | 让我看比赛 你住手 |
| [01:23] | Just watch the game, Adam. | 看比赛行吗 亚当 |
| [01:24] | My dad took hockey very seriously, | 我爸把冰球看得相当重 |
| [01:27] | And my brother, Barry, did, too. | 我哥巴瑞也一样 |
| [01:29] | Out of all the things he thought he was good at, | 在所有他认为自己拿手的项目中 |
| [01:31] | this one he actually was. | 这一个是真的行 |
| [01:34] | Goal! | 进球 |
| [01:35] | And my dad loved going to his games. | 我爸非常爱看他比赛 |
| [01:37] | Look at you! Look at you! | 瞧你 瞧你 |
| [01:39] | But when it came to my games, not so much. | 但我比赛时 他没啥兴趣 |
| [01:43] | Go, Adam! | 上啊 亚当 |
| [01:46] | Even so, my dad dragged his ass to those stands to cheer me on. | 虽然如此 我爸还是会勉强去看台为我加油 |
| [01:49] | No, no! The other way! | 不 另一边 |
| [01:51] | But he never stopped believing | 但他从未停止相信 |
| [01:52] | that one day I would score that first goal | 有一天 我会进第一个球 |
| [01:55] | and live up to the Goldberg potential. | 不辜负金伯格家的潜力 |
| [01:57] | Do something! | 做点什么吧 |
| [01:58] | Then, it finally happened. | 于是 终于发生了 |
| [02:00] | My moment — my big shot to make my dad proud. | 属于我的时刻 让我爸骄傲的进球 |
| [02:12] | Or so I thought. | 至少我以为是这样 |
| [02:13] | Yes! I finally scored! | 太棒了 我终于进球了 |
| [02:15] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [02:18] | Damn it, Goldberg. You scored on our goal. | 见鬼 金伯格 你打进了自家球门 |
| [02:23] | I call a do-over! | 我要求重来 |
| [02:25] | That’s a thing in sports, right? | 体育里有这样的 对吗 |
| [02:43] | It was February 25, 1980-something. | 那是一九八几年的2月25日 |
| [02:45] | My sister was prepping for the S.A.T.S, | 我姐在准备学业能力倾向测验 |
| [02:47] | and my mom was gonna be there every step of the way | 我妈则准备全程陪同 |
| [02:50] | with words of support and encouragement. | 送上支持与鼓励的话 |
| [02:52] | Okay, I don’t want to make a big deal about this, | 好吧 我不想说得太过严重 |
| [02:54] | but your entire life | 但你的人生 |
| [02:55] | is literally riding on this one test. | 真的取决于这次考试结果 |
| [02:57] | You’ve made that very clear. | 你已经说得很清楚了 |
| [02:59] | Now stop hovering. | 别走来走去了 |
| [03:01] | Sorry. I’ll just be quietly over here. | 抱歉 我会在这里安安静静的 |
| [03:08] | What the hell? | 你搞什么 |
| [03:09] | This test is all about how you handle distraction. | 这次考试重点就在于你如何应对打扰 |
| [03:12] | Focus your mind. | 你集中精神 |
| [03:13] | Shut out the world. | 进入与世隔绝状态 |
| [03:14] | Mom. | 妈 |
| [03:16] | I don’t think there are going to be | 我觉得考试中心 |
| [03:17] | any explosions at the test center. | 不会有爆炸出现 |
| [03:19] | You don’t know that. | 这不好说 |
| [03:20] | It could be underneath a discotheque, | 考试中心可能在迪斯科舞厅下面 |
| [03:22] | or next to a fireworks factory, | 或是烟火厂隔壁 |
| [03:24] | or in a bad part of south Philly, | 或是费城南治安不好的地方 |
| [03:25] | like where your gym teacher got arrested. | 你的体育老师就是在那里被捕的 |
| [03:28] | You’re not helping. | 你这是帮倒忙 |
| [03:29] | And time! Pencils down. | 时间到 放下笔 |
| [03:32] | Okay, you didn’t even answer the last 10 questions. | 你甚至没有回答最后十题 |
| [03:35] | – What’s wrong with you? – You’re what’s wrong with me! | -你有什么问题 -你就是问题 |
| [03:37] | You know what? | 算了 |
| [03:39] | That’s fine. I’m done for the night. | 没关系 今晚就到这里 |
| [03:40] | The night has just begun, missy. | 今晚刚开始 小姑娘 |
| [03:42] | Tuchus down, now. | 马上坐下 |
| [03:43] | Look, my S.A.T. tutor said that taking | 听着 我的测验家教说 |
| [03:46] | too many practice tests will burn you out. | 做太多模拟卷 会让人精疲力竭 |
| [03:48] | And that’s why I fired her. | 所以我把她炒了 |
| [03:50] | You fired Wendy Woo? | 你炒了胡温迪 |
| [03:51] | I fired Wendy Woo. | 我炒了胡温迪 |
| [03:53] | She was happy and kind and patient — | 她乐观和气耐心 |
| [03:56] | Three terrible qualities in a tutor. | 做家教的三大可怕特点 |
| [03:58] | But don’t worry. I hired someone else. | 别担心 我已经请人了 |
| [04:00] | She’ll be here momentarily. | 她随时会到 |
| [04:02] | What? What’s happening? | 什么 出什么事了 |
| [04:03] | – Surprise! – No. | -惊喜 -不 |
| [04:05] | It’s me! I’m your new tutor! | 是我 我是你的新家教 |
| [04:07] | Stop doing what you’re doing. | 你立刻收手吧 |
| [04:08] | Erica, the fate of your college career | 爱丽卡 你大学生涯的命运 |
| [04:11] | rides on this one single test, and trust me, | 完全取决于这次考试 相信我 |
| [04:13] | I know how important college is. | 我知道大学的重要性 |
| [04:15] | The biggest regret of my life is dropping out to have you. | 我这辈子最后悔的 就是退学生你 |
| [04:18] | Oh, that sounded awful. | 这话听起来太可怕了 |
| [04:20] | I am just gonna keep on talking until it fixes itself. | 我继续说话 直到圆过来为止 |
| [04:22] | – Has it fixed itself? – No. | -圆过来了吗 -没有 |
| [04:24] | I think it has. Here. | 我想圆过来了 给 |
| [04:26] | I’ve gone through tests from the past 10 years | 我研究了过去十年的考试题目 |
| [04:29] | and compiled all the most difficult math problems. | 把所有最难的数学题全集中在一起了 |
| [04:31] | Do them now. | 现在就做 |
| [04:33] | What? These are way too hard. | 什么 这些太难了 |
| [04:35] | I believe in you. | 我相信你 |
| [04:38] | While my mom was turning the screws on Erica, | 我妈对爱丽卡施压时 |
| [04:41] | my dad had given up on me. | 我爸已经放弃我了 |
| [04:43] | What are you doing? The Flyers are on. | 你做什么呢 飞人队比赛开始了 |
| [04:45] | I got news for you, Albert. | 我告诉你 艾伯特 |
| [04:47] | I’m done with hockey. That’s right. | 我对冰球死心了 没错 |
| [04:49] | Adam spoiled the whole sport for me. | 亚当令我对所有运动失去了兴趣 |
| [04:51] | It happens. | 这种事很正常 |
| [04:52] | Sometimes the puck deflects off you | 有时候冰球会从身边偏移 |
| [04:54] | and ricochets into your own goal. | 飞进自家球门里 |
| [04:56] | No. He aimed. He shot. | 不 他对准 他射门 |
| [04:59] | He scored. He danced! | 他进球 他跳舞 |
| [05:01] | I’m so sorry. | 太遗憾了 |
| [05:02] | Why don’t you just let the boy quit? | 你为什么不让他退出呢 |
| [05:05] | He hates hockey. | 他讨厌冰球 |
| [05:06] | For now. | 只是现在 |
| [05:07] | But when I force him to play against his will, | 但如果我强迫他打球 |
| [05:09] | he’ll eventually become great. | 他会最终变优秀的 |
| [05:10] | And then his bitterness towards me will turn into love. | 到时他对我的怨恨就会变成爱 |
| [05:14] | That, my friend, is what it means to be a dad. | 我的朋友 这个就是当爹的意义 |
| [05:17] | Yes, that’s very touching. | 是的 我好感动 |
| [05:20] | But maybe you should do something | 也许你应该改变下 |
| [05:22] | that Adam likes for a change. | 做些亚当喜欢的事 |
| [05:24] | But he likes space ships and dragons and video games. | 但他喜欢太空船 龙 电子游戏 |
| [05:29] | Did you know that the Mario brothers | 你知道马里奥兄弟 |
| [05:31] | aren’t even real? | 根本不是真人吗 |
| [05:32] | For three years, I thought they were the boys | 三年来 我都以为他们是街对面 |
| [05:34] | who lived across the street. | 住的小男生 |
| [05:35] | Just give it a shot. | 试一下吧 |
| [05:36] | I think you’ll see that kid is into some pretty cool stuff. | 我想你会发现 那孩子喜欢的东西非常酷 |
| [05:45] | Hey, dad, check it out. | 爸 你看 |
| [05:47] | Doesn’t it look like I’m in zero gravity? | 看起来我像不像在失重环境下 |
| [05:49] | Yeah. So, this is what you do, huh? | 是的 这就是你的兴趣所在吗 |
| [05:52] | Making a sci-fi movie. | 拍科幻片 |
| [05:53] | Yeah, space stuff. | 对 太空什么的 |
| [05:55] | You ever do any westerns or gritty cop dramas? | 你拍过西部片或硬汉警察片吗 |
| [05:58] | No, not my genres. | 没 我不是这个流派的 |
| [06:00] | Although, technically, Star Wars was a western, | 不过严格来说 《星球大战》是西部片 |
| [06:02] | and Robocop was incredibly dark. | 《机械战警》是超级黑色电影 |
| [06:04] | So just space stuff. | 反正是太空的玩意儿 |
| [06:06] | – Well, you need a hand? – Really? | -你需要帮忙吗 -真的吗 |
| [06:08] | Yeah, sure. I’ll, um, hold the camera or something. | 当然 我可以扛摄影机什么的 |
| [06:11] | Do you want to act in it? | 你想出演吗 |
| [06:13] | Do I? | 这还用问 |
| [06:15] | Awesome! | 太棒了 |
| [06:16] | Lie down on the bed, and whatever happens, don’t move. | 躺在床上 无论发生什么事 别动 |
| [06:18] | Lie down and don’t move. | 躺下别动 |
| [06:20] | What do you know, I’ve been an actor my whole life. | 谁知道呀 我这辈子居然都是演员 |
| [06:23] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [06:24] | In a nutshell, you’re Caine, a space miner | 简单来说 你是该隐 太空矿工 |
| [06:27] | who has an alien egg gestating in your belly. | 你的肚子里孕育着外星蛋 |
| [06:30] | I’m who with the what? | 我是谁有着什么 |
| [06:31] | Get ready to freak out. | 准备好大吃一惊吧 |
| [06:32] | Why would I freak out? | 我为什么会大吃一惊 |
| [06:34] | What are you doing? | 你做什么 |
| [06:35] | Why would you do that? | 你为什么这么做 |
| [06:36] | Stop! | 住手 |
| [06:37] | What is that?! Get it out! | 这是什么 拿开 |
| [06:39] | – Stop! – Stop talking. You’re dead. | -停下 -别说话了 你死了 |
| [06:41] | You ruined my one good shirt! You’re dead! | 你毁了我唯一的好衬衫 你死定了 |
| [06:44] | Dad, I told you there was an alien egg in your stomach. | 爸 我跟你说了你的肚子里有外星蛋 |
| [06:47] | What do you think that means? | 你觉得我的意思是什么 |
| [06:49] | You know what? Let’s go back to hockey. | 知道吗 继续打冰球吧 |
| [06:50] | That, I understand. | 那个我能明白 |
| [06:52] | While my dad’s attempt at bonding was an utter failure, | 我爸尝试理解我的兴趣彻底失败时 |
| [06:54] | my mom was pushing Erica to the next level. | 我妈将爱丽卡逼到了一个新境界 |
| [06:59] | How did I do already? | 我考得怎么样 |
| [07:01] | Okay, just know that this is a practice test | 你要知道这只是模拟考试 |
| [07:03] | and we still have a lot of work to do. | 我们还有很多工作要做 |
| [07:04] | Son of a bitch. That bad? | 妈的 这么差吗 |
| [07:06] | – 1,280. – What? | -1280分 -什么 |
| [07:09] | You better come over here and hug your mama | 在我给你一拳之前 |
| [07:11] | before I punch you in the face. | 你赶紧过来抱抱妈妈 |
| [07:12] | Oh, my god! | 我的天 |
| [07:14] | I thought you were just talking like a crazy person | 我以为你只是在说些疯话 |
| [07:16] | like you do every other second of the day. | 就像你平时一样 |
| [07:18] | But you actually helped me boost my score by like 100 points! | 但你的确帮我提升了一百分 |
| [07:21] | You’re damn right I did. | 那是当然了 |
| [07:23] | And that’s good enough to get you into Penn. | 这成绩完全可以上宾夕法尼亚大学 |
| [07:24] | Forget Penn. That’s good enough for Stanford. | 宾大算什么 这成绩可以上斯坦福了 |
| [07:27] | – Wait, what? – Yeah, I need a 1,300 to get in. | -等等 什么 -我需要考1300分才能上 |
| [07:29] | Only 20 more points to go. | 只差20分了 |
| [07:31] | Stanford is in California. | 斯坦福在加州 |
| [07:33] | I know. It’s so far away. | 我知道 离家好远 |
| [07:35] | You are not going to school 20,000 miles away from me — | 你不能在离我两万英里的地方去上学 |
| [07:39] | Us. The family. | 离我们 一家子 |
| [07:41] | You seriously won’t let me go | 你真的不让我 |
| [07:43] | to one of the best colleges in the country? | 去全国最好的大学之一上学吗 |
| [07:45] | I… | 我 |
| [07:46] | What the hell was that? | 这是什么意思 |
| [07:47] | I… | 我 |
| [07:48] | – Stop. – I… | -停下 -我 |
| [07:51] | Stop doing that. | 别这样 |
| [07:52] | What are you doing? | 你在做什么 |
| [07:54] | I’m sorry. I can’t help it. | 对不起 我控制不住 |
| [07:55] | I-I-it — Stanford’s just so far away. | 斯坦福太远了 |
| [07:57] | I…I wouldn’t be able to just pop in on the weekends, | 我就不能周末突然杀过去 |
| [08:01] | and — and hang out with you and your girlfriends | 和你还有你的闺蜜一起玩 |
| [08:04] | and try on clothes and then have you take me | 试穿衣服 然后让你带我去 |
| [08:07] | to the local college pubs, where you introduce me | 大学酒吧 你可以把我介绍给 |
| [08:10] | as your older sister Barbie to the cute T.A.S. | 帅气的助教 说我是你姐姐芭比 |
| [08:16] | – That’s your plan? – One of them, yeah. | -这是你的计划吗 -计划之一 |
| [08:19] | Well, thank god I learned how to kick ass on this test. | 谢天谢地我学会了如何考高分 |
| [08:23] | Thank god. | 谢天谢地 |
| [08:25] | What have I done? | 我做了什么 |
| [08:31] | Well look who it is. | 看谁来啦 |
| [08:34] | Try not to score on your own goal, lame Gretzky. | 别再打进自家球门了 差劲版格雷茨基[著名冰球手] |
| [08:36] | Mayb instead of being a total putz, | 与其做一个讨厌鬼 |
| [08:38] | you could actually help me? | 你就不能帮我下吗 |
| [08:39] | You want my help? Quit. | 要我的帮助吗 放弃吧 |
| [08:41] | Quitting isn’t an option. | 不能放弃 |
| [08:42] | You know how much it matters to dad. | 你知道这事对爸有多重要 |
| [08:45] | I don’t want to let him down. | 我不想让他失望 |
| [08:46] | If I cared at all, that would make me sad. | 如果我在乎 你这话会让我感觉难过 |
| [08:49] | Maybe you could teach me something, | 也许你可以教我一些 |
| [08:51] | so then, when I look in the stands, | 那么我看向看台时 |
| [08:52] | dad’s not hiding his face in shame. | 爸不会丢脸到想钻地缝 |
| [08:54] | What I got can’t be taught. It’s called natural talent. | 我会的没法教 这个叫天赋 |
| [08:58] | See, I’m the type of player | 你瞧 我这种球员 |
| [09:00] | who controls the flow of the game. | 可以控制比赛的方向 |
| [09:02] | You, on the other hand, are a turd on ice. | 而你则是冰场上的狗屎 |
| [09:04] | I know! But there’s got to be something I can do. | 我知道 但肯定有什么我能做的 |
| [09:07] | I guess you could always be a goon. | 我想你可以做”呆宝” |
| [09:08] | A goon? Like in “Goonies”? | 呆宝 就像《七宝奇谋》里那样吗 |
| [09:10] | A goon — an enforcer. | 呆宝 冰上打手 |
| [09:14] | They protect the awesome players like me | 他们用暴力和阴招 |
| [09:16] | using violence and dirty play. | 保护我这样优秀的选手 |
| [09:18] | As long as they can kick butt, | 只要会踢屁股 |
| [09:19] | a goon doesn’t need to shoot or score. | 呆宝不需要射门或是得分 |
| [09:22] | Teach me. I am yours to mold. | 教我 我任凭你调教 |
| [09:24] | Please. Teach me how to be a goonie. | 求你了 教我做七宝 |
| [09:26] | Goon! | 是呆宝 |
| [09:27] | Can we just say goonie if it helps me get there? | 说七宝不行吗 这样我学得更快 |
| [09:29] | That meant yes, Barry would help me. | 这就是同意了 巴瑞会帮我 |
| [09:32] | All I had to do now was learn how to fight. | 现在我要做的 就是学会打架 |
| [09:36] | Realizing a good test score meant losing her daughter, | 意识到好成绩意味着失去女儿 |
| [09:39] | my mom changed her tutoring tactics. | 我妈改变了家教策略 |
| [09:41] | Hey, study buddy. | 学习小伙伴 |
| [09:44] | What’s all this? | 这些是什么 |
| [09:45] | I just wanted some coffee so I could stay up and study. | 我要的只是咖啡 这样我可以熬夜学习 |
| [09:47] | Well, you’re in luck, | 你很幸运 |
| [09:48] | because nothing keeps your energy up | 因为最能让你精力充沛的 |
| [09:50] | like warm milk and a big pile of turkey. | 就是热牛奶和一大块火鸡 |
| [09:52] | Don’t those things put you to sleep? | 这些东西不是让人睡觉的吗 |
| [09:53] | No, no. The opposite is true. | 不 正好相反 |
| [09:55] | I read that in a magazine I threw away. | 我在那本我扔掉了的杂志上看到的 |
| [09:57] | Well, you got me this far. I trust you. | 你让我有了现在的成绩 我相信你 |
| [10:00] | Oh, you’re sweet. | 你真好 |
| [10:01] | Oh, listen, I was thinking, | 听着 我在想 |
| [10:03] | as a reward for all your hard work, | 作为对你用功学习的奖励 |
| [10:05] | you might want to let off some steam | 也许你想减减压 |
| [10:07] | and go to see Rick Springfield on Friday night. | 周五晚去看瑞克·史普林菲尔演唱会 |
| [10:10] | But that’s the night before the test. | 但那是考试的前一晚 |
| [10:14] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:16] | Your loss, egghead. | 你的损失 书呆子 |
| [10:17] | Well, I should probably get back to work. | 我要继续学习了 |
| [10:19] | Oh, about that, um, I made up | 关于学习 我做了些 |
| [10:22] | some new vocab cards for you to memorize. | 新的词汇卡 帮你记忆 |
| [10:25] | This should get you the extra points | 这应该能帮你拿到 |
| [10:26] | you need to get into Stanford. | 进斯坦福的分数 |
| [10:28] | Oh, thanks, mom. | 谢谢 妈 |
| [10:29] | “Scubulence, noun — | 拆呼 名词 |
| [10:32] | The process of removing scuba equipment from a boat.” | 将呼吸器装置从船上移动的过程 |
| [10:36] | Weird word. | 好奇怪的词 |
| [10:37] | Yeah, weird and real. Just like “Flimjam, verb — | 奇怪但是真实 就像”倒之 动词 |
| [10:43] | To run backwards in a zig-zag pattern.” | 以之字形路线倒着跑” |
| [10:45] | Got it. | 明白 |
| [10:46] | Well, that makes me feel very “Torkulent, adjective — | 这让我非常”高怕 形容词 |
| [10:50] | Delighted and a little scared.” | 高兴又有点害怕” |
| [10:52] | Well, let me just flimjam out of here | 我”倒之”出去了 |
| [10:55] | and, uh, good luck with your studying. | 祝你学习好运 |
| [11:00] | “Fidangle, verb — to finish dangling.” | “停摇 动词 停止摇摆” |
| [11:07] | What the hell? | 搞什么 |
| [11:14] | She wouldn’t. | 她不会吧 |
| [11:19] | She would. | 她会 |
| [11:20] | While my mom was trying to hurt Erica’s chances on the S.A.T., | 我妈想搞砸爱丽卡的学业能力倾向测验时 |
| [11:23] | Barry was teaching me how to hurt people on the ice. | 巴瑞教我如何在冰场上揍人 |
| [11:25] | Okay, Ad rock, listen up. | 好了 亚石头 听好了 |
| [11:28] | There are a few crucial things you need to learn | 你要学一些决定性的东西 |
| [11:30] | in order to be an enforcer. | 才能做冰上打手 |
| [11:31] | I’m ready for this. Teach me. | 我准备好了 教我 |
| [11:32] | We’ll start with the basics. | 从基础开始 |
| [11:34] | Lesson one — this is your stick. | 第一课 这是你的球棍 |
| [11:37] | People like me use it to score. | 我这样的人用它来得分 |
| [11:39] | People like you use it as a weapon. | 你这样的人将它作为武器 |
| [11:41] | Cool. Like a sword. | 太棒了 就像剑 |
| [11:42] | I can use the moves I learned in my stage-combat class. | 我可以用在舞台打斗课上学到的招数 |
| [11:46] | Lesson two — every time you say something like that, | 第二课 你每次说这样的话 |
| [11:49] | you get a nerd punch in the meaty part of your arm. | 你胳膊上肉多的地方就会挨一记呆子拳 |
| [11:51] | Smart. The pain will motivate me. | 聪明 痛会激励我 |
| [11:53] | Nerd punch! | 呆子拳 |
| [11:56] | Lesson three — your stick is to never touch the ice. | 第三课 你的球棍永远不要碰到冰 |
| [11:59] | It’s used for slashing, hooking, butt-ending, and spearing. | 要用来砍 钩 捅 戳 |
| [12:04] | – Any questions? – Aren’t all those penalties? | -有问题吗 -这些不都是犯规吗 |
| [12:06] | Nerd punch! | 呆子拳 |
| [12:08] | Lesson four — fighting. | 第四课 打架 |
| [12:09] | But I didn’t learn lessons one through three yet. | 但一到三课我还没学呢 |
| [12:11] | Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. | 也许学了 也许没学 |
| [12:13] | – I didn’t. – Or did you? | -我没学 -是吗 |
| [12:14] | – I didn’t! – Nerd punch! | -我没学 -呆子拳 |
| [12:17] | Now, the trick to a hockey fight is the first person | 冰球打架的窍门 就是谁先把 |
| [12:19] | who sheds their gloves strikes first. | 手套甩在冰场上 |
| [12:21] | Go! Again! | 开始 再来 |
| [12:24] | Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry. | 加油 快快快 |
| [12:25] | Again! | 再来 |
| [12:26] | Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick! | 快快快 |
| [12:28] | You’re gonna lose to a kid with looser gloves. | 你会输给手套戴得更松的小子 |
| [12:31] | – Again! – I think I got it now. | -再来 -我想我学会了 |
| [12:33] | You got it when I say you got it. | 我说你会了你才会了 |
| [12:35] | Which is now. | 就是现在 |
| [12:37] | Lesson five, and the most important lesson of them all — | 第五课 最重要的一课 |
| [12:40] | When you’re in a fight, | 你打架时 |
| [12:41] | you grab the bottom of your opponent’s jersey | 你抓住对手球衣的下摆 |
| [12:43] | and yank it over his head, like so. | 像这样拉到他的头上 |
| [12:46] | Stop it! I can’t see! | 住手 我看不到了 |
| [12:48] | Good. You’re learning. | 很好 你在学习 |
| [12:53] | Lesson six — watch out for elbows. | 第六课 小心肘部 |
| [12:59] | There’s my little genius. | 我的小天才来了 |
| [13:01] | You all geared up for the big test tomorrow? | 准备好参加明天的考试了吗 |
| [13:03] | All thanks to your help. | 多亏了有你帮忙 |
| [13:04] | You know, I thought a lot about what you said, | 我想了很多你说的话 |
| [13:06] | and I decided that Penn is a great choice for me. | 我决定宾大是我最好的选择 |
| [13:09] | Oh, it’s happening. | 成真了 |
| [13:10] | – We’re going to Penn! – I know! | -我们要上宾大了 -就是啊 |
| [13:12] | I’m so excited that I decided to get a head start | 我太激动了 我决定先行一步 |
| [13:15] | on my essay for their application. | 写入学申请 |
| [13:17] | Here it is. | 给 |
| [13:19] | “I believe that the university of Pennsylvania | 我相信宾夕法尼亚大学 |
| [13:23] | is the right school for me. | 是最适合我的学校 |
| [13:25] | Because of its torkulent history and diligord reputation.” | 因为学校有着高怕的历史和辉著的声望 |
| [13:31] | – Oh, boy. – Don’t stop. Keep going. | -老天 -别停 继续 |
| [13:32] | Ah, I’d rather not. | 还是不要了 |
| [13:34] | Okay, pops, would you mind? | 老爷子 你念好吗 |
| [13:39] | “I feel that I could really benefit | 我觉得我可以从 |
| [13:41] | from being part of its cromtormulous student body | 成为认苦勤干学生的一员以及知博教师身上 |
| [13:45] | and weepeggle faculty.” | 获益不少 |
| [13:47] | Weepeggle? What the… | 知博 这算是哪门子… |
| [13:49] | Keep reading. | 继续读 |
| [13:51] | “I would be bumgubbled to quarp a university | 能插入如此治靴严谨的大学 |
| [13:55] | that is so vernaciously proggle | 我会乐得冒泡 |
| [13:57] | that even the most zeticent student could gobulate.” | 就连最朽布的学生也可以立志成灾 |
| [14:02] | Gobulate? | 立志成灾 |
| [14:03] | Honest question — when you wrote this, | 说实话吧 你写这个的时候 |
| [14:05] | were you smoking a jazz cigarette? | 在抽大麻吗 |
| [14:07] | Oh, it’s much worse than that. | 比这更糟 |
| [14:09] | I have a mother that taught me fake vocab words | 我有一位教我假词汇的母亲 |
| [14:11] | to screw me out of the college I want to go to. | 让我考砸 上不了我想上的大学 |
| [14:14] | What? That’s crazy. | 什么 太疯狂了 |
| [14:16] | That is crazy, right? | 这太疯狂了 对吗 |
| [14:19] | I can explain. | 我可以解释 |
| [14:20] | Oh, no. | 不是吧 |
| [14:22] | What kind of mother sabotages her daughter? | 什么样的母亲会对女儿搞破坏 |
| [14:25] | Who does that? | 谁会这样做 |
| [14:26] | Just go to Penn. | 上宾大好吗 |
| [14:27] | It’s only 20 minutes away. | 离家只有20分钟车程 |
| [14:29] | I can cook for you and do your laundry | 我可以为你做饭 为你洗衣 |
| [14:31] | and clean your room because it’s only 20 minutes away, | 为你打扫房间 因为才20分钟车程 |
| [14:34] | so you should live here and commute. | 你可以住在家里坐车上学 |
| [14:36] | Oh, well, I’ve got news for you. | 好吧 我告诉你 |
| [14:37] | California ain’t far enough away. | 加州都不够远 |
| [14:40] | I’m going to Japan university. | 我要去日本大学 |
| [14:41] | That’s right. Good luck popping in on me there. | 没错 祝你突然杀去见我好运 |
| [14:44] | Do you really think that’ll stop me? | 你觉得这会阻止我吗 |
| [14:45] | I’ll fly halfway around the planet | 如果必须这样做 |
| [14:47] | just to see you every weekend if I have to. | 我会每周末飞过半个地球去看你 |
| [14:49] | Fine! Then I’ll just colonize the moon | 好的 那我就殖民月球 |
| [14:51] | and go to college there! | 去那里上大学 |
| [14:52] | Then I’ll get on a rocket every weekend | 那我就每周末坐火箭 |
| [14:54] | just so I can give you a hug. | 这样我可以去拥抱你 |
| [14:55] | – You can’t do that! – Oh, I can. | -你不能这样做 -我能 |
| [14:58] | And I will bring you tang and I’ll iron your space suit | 我会带果珍给你 给你熨烫航天服 |
| [15:00] | and I’ll take your alien roommates to Bennigans! | 我会带你的外星人室友去班尼根餐厅 |
| [15:02] | I hate that you love me so much! | 我恨你这么爱我 |
| [15:06] | While my mom and Erica had taken the gloves off, | 我妈和爱丽卡大吵一架时[脱掉手套] |
| [15:09] | I was about to do the same. | 我也准备做一样的事 |
| [15:18] | Nooo! | 不 |
| [15:32] | This wasn’t the plan! | 计划不是这样的 |
| [15:33] | Fight back, Adam! | 还手啊 亚当 |
| [15:35] | Use your stick, just like I taught you! | 用你的球棍 像我教你那样 |
| [15:37] | You taught him what? | 你教他什么 |
| [15:38] | Nothing. I taught him nothing. | 没什么 什么也没教 |
| [15:40] | No, no, stop! I’m the enforcer. | 不 停下 我是冰上打手[强制执行者] |
| [15:43] | You can’t enforce the enforcer. | 你不能强迫强制执行者 |
| [15:45] | Ball up! | 蜷起来 |
| [15:46] | Curl into a ball! | 蜷成一团 |
| [15:47] | Dear god, no! | 我的天啊 不 |
| [15:54] | Adam! Get back here. We need to talk. | 亚当 回来 我们需要谈谈 |
| [15:57] | No. Just leave me alone. | 不 让我安静一下 |
| [16:00] | This is your fault, you moron. | 这是你的错 你这个白痴 |
| [16:02] | I’m a moron? | 我是白痴 |
| [16:03] | Adam’s the one who got suspended for fighting. | 亚当才是因为打架被停赛的人 |
| [16:05] | Yeah, you’re the one who taught him how to fight! | 对 是你教他打架的 |
| [16:07] | I was trying to help him. | 我是想帮他 |
| [16:08] | All he wanted to do was impress you. | 他只想让你对他另眼相看 |
| [16:10] | How’s it supposed to impress me | 他被人拉着脸 |
| [16:12] | to have him dragged by the face | 变成人肉冰球 |
| [16:14] | and turned into a human hockey puck? | 叫我怎么另眼相看 |
| [16:16] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [16:16] | You won’t let him quit, | 你不让他退出 |
| [16:17] | so what else is he supposed to do? | 他还能怎么做 |
| [16:19] | Do you know why I won’t let him quit? | 你知道为什么我不让他退出吗 |
| [16:21] | You and I have a ton in common. | 你和我有太多共同点 |
| [16:23] | We talk about sports, food, cars. | 我们会谈体育 食物 车 |
| [16:26] | But Adam — this is all we’ve got, | 但是亚当 我们只有这个 |
| [16:29] | and if you take hockey away, there’s a good chance | 如果连冰球都没有了 很有可能 |
| [16:32] | that Adam and I might never speak again. | 亚当和我永远不会再说话了 |
| [16:34] | I see what you’re saying. | 我明白你的话了 |
| [16:36] | I’m your favorite son. | 我是你最宠爱的儿子 |
| [16:38] | – Didn’t say that. – I get it. | -我没说 -我明白 |
| [16:39] | – No, you don’t. – You love me more. | -你不明白 -你更爱我 |
| [16:41] | – You’re an idiot. – You can say it all you want. | -你是白痴 -你想说什么都行 |
| [16:43] | – You’re an idiot. – But we all know how you really feel. | -你是白痴 -但我们都知道你的真实想法 |
| [16:45] | – You’re an idiot. – I get it. | -你是白痴 -我明白 |
| [16:47] | – Just stop. – Okay. | -别说了 -好的 |
| [16:48] | Listen, I know Adam’s hobbies are weird to us. | 我知道亚当的爱好 对我们来说很奇怪 |
| [16:52] | No. Weird to everyone. | 不 对所有人来说都奇怪 |
| [16:53] | But the kid tried for five years to do your thing. | 但那孩子努力了五年 投你所好 |
| [16:57] | Maybe now it’s time to try his thing | 也许现在是时候你投他所好 |
| [16:59] | for more than five minutes. | 努力坚持五分钟以上 |
| [17:00] | That’s pretty smart, Barry. | 很聪明啊 巴瑞 |
| [17:02] | Of course! I’m your favorite. | 当然 我是你最宠爱的 |
| [17:04] | And back to stupid. | 又成白痴了 |
| [17:09] | Poopie, can mama come in? | 宝贝 妈妈可以进来吗 |
| [17:12] | Let me guess. | 我猜猜 |
| [17:14] | You’re here with “Directions” | 你有并不存在的 |
| [17:16] | to the new test center that doesn’t exist? | 新考试中心的走法 |
| [17:18] | I’m here to apologize. | 我是来道歉的 |
| [17:20] | What I did was wrong. | 我做错了 |
| [17:22] | You know, you always say you want what’s best for your children, | 你总是说你一心为孩子们好 |
| [17:24] | but, really, you just want what’s best for you. | 但其实你只是为了你自己好 |
| [17:26] | Okay, I was selfish. | 好吧 是我自私 |
| [17:28] | But…I just love you so much. | 但我太爱你了 |
| [17:31] | I never want to let you go. | 我不想你离开 |
| [17:32] | And you think that that’s | 你觉得这样说 |
| [17:33] | supposed to make what you did any better? | 就能美化你的行为吗 |
| [17:36] | Look…I know you’re gonna go off to college one day, | 我知道有一天你会上大学 |
| [17:41] | but the reality of you moving all the way across the country | 但你要搬到离家千山万水的地方这一现实 |
| [17:44] | and starting a whole new life, that freaked me out. | 开始全新的生活 让我害怕 |
| [17:48] | But I know this isn’t about me, | 但我知道我不是重点 |
| [17:49] | so if Stanford is what you want, then, damn it, | 所以如果你想上斯坦福 那么见鬼 |
| [17:53] | we are gonna get you into Stanford. | 那我们就让你考上斯坦福 |
| [17:55] | – Do you mean that? – I don’t. | -你是真心的吗 -不是 |
| [17:56] | – Understood. – But I’ll work on it. | -理解 -但我会努力的 |
| [17:58] | And maybe in a year or so… I will. | 也许一年后 我会是真心的 |
| [18:07] | You know, um… I never finished college, | 知道吗 我没有读完大学 |
| [18:11] | so I could always apply. | 我永远有报考机会 |
| [18:12] | Don’t ruin the hug. | 别毁了这个拥抱 |
| [18:13] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [18:17] | Hey. How you doing? | 你还好吗 |
| [18:19] | Well, I discovered the only thing worse | 我发现唯一比 |
| [18:21] | than scoring on your own goal | 打进自家球门更糟的事 |
| [18:22] | is getting scored into your own goal. | 就是自己被打进自家球门 |
| [18:25] | Look, I know you’re not enjoying hockey, | 我知道你不喜欢打冰球 |
| [18:28] | and I’m not enjoying you not enjoying hockey, | 看到你不喜欢冰球我也不开心 |
| [18:31] | so I thought, “There has to be | 所以我想 肯定有什么 |
| [18:32] | something else we can do together.” | 我们能一起做的事情 |
| [18:34] | Please don’t make me play football. | 拜托别让我打橄榄球 |
| [18:35] | No, no, no. No sports. Done with sports. | 不 不是体育 不会再碰了 |
| [18:38] | So, I went to the store, and I got you | 我去了商店 我给你买了 |
| [18:40] | a family-size bottle of ketchup | 家庭装的番茄酱 |
| [18:42] | and a three pack of t-shirts for you to ruin, | 还有三件装的T恤 任你去毁 |
| [18:46] | In case you want to give that alien movie thing another try. | 以防你还想再拍那部外星人电影 |
| [18:50] | – You mean it? – Yeah. Why not? | -你是认真的吗 -当然 为什么不是 |
| [18:55] | Well, if we do this, we do it right. | 如果我们要拍 就得好好拍 |
| [19:16] | Oh! Oh, my god! | 我的天啊 |
| [19:18] | Call the robot president! | 快叫机器人总统 |
| [19:22] | My dad learned that, while I was nothing like him, | 我爸明白了 虽然我一点不像他 |
| [19:25] | he could meet me halfway, and even though | 但他可以迁就下我的兴趣 虽然 |
| [19:27] | I didn’t play hockey anymore, he still had Barry… | 我不再打冰球了 他还有巴瑞 |
| [19:30] | Goal! | 得分 |
| [19:31] | Oh, yeah! All, man! | 太棒了 了不起 |
| [19:34] | …which was a mixed bag. | 让他欢喜让他忧的儿子 |
| [19:38] | Put it in, scorekeeper. Put it in. | 加上去 记分板 加上去 |
| [19:41] | As for Erica, she was feeling quite torkulent | 至于爱丽卡 她坐下参加学业能力倾向测验时 |
| [19:44] | as she sat down to take the S.A.T. | 感到非常的”高怕” |
| [19:46] | Nothing would stop her, not even fireworks. | 没什么可以阻止她 就连烟火也不行 |
| [19:49] | And begin. | 开始 |
| [19:59] | Mail just came. | 邮件来了 |
| [20:04] | Oh, my god! | 我的天 |
| [20:05] | I knew you could do it. | 我知道你可以做到 |
| [20:07] | I may actually go to California. | 也许我真的会去加州 |
| [20:11] | I’ll follow you to the moon, baby. | 我会跟随你去月球 宝贝 |
| [20:17] | In the end, my parents realized all they could do | 最后 我父母明白他们能做的 |
| [20:19] | was let us be who we wanted to be and just enjoy the ride. | 就是让我们自由发展 享受过程就好 |
| [20:29] | And we’re rolling. “Alien dad — the sequel.” | 开拍了 《异形爸爸续集》 |
| [20:32] | Okay, here’s the backstory. | 背景故事是这样的 |
| [20:33] | You’re a space miner about to explore | 你是太空矿工 准备独自探索 |
| [20:35] | an alien vessel all by yourself. | 外星人飞船 |
| [20:37] | By myself? An alien vessel? No, no, no, no. | 我一个人 外星人飞船 不行 |
| [20:40] | – Let’s just send in a dog or something. – A dog? | -派只狗进去 -狗 |
| [20:42] | We’ll give it a flashlight. Strap a camera on its back. | 给它一个手电筒 背上绑一个摄像机 |
| [20:45] | You’re on a solo mission. There is no dog. | 你一个人出任务 根本没有狗 |
| [20:47] | Only a moron would go on a ship by himself. | 只有白痴才会一个人上飞船 |
| [20:50] | Well, you’re going in there, so I guess you’re a moron. | 你要上去 所以我想你是白痴 |
| [20:53] | How are things going in here? | 还顺利吗 |
| [20:54] | He’s refusing to go on the alien ship. | 他拒绝登上外星人飞船 |
| [20:56] | Murray, just go in the damn ship. | 默里 快上飞船 |
| [20:59] | Fine! I will go in the damn ship. | 好吧 我会上飞船 |
| [21:01] | Good, ’cause now an alien attacks your face | 很好 现在有外星人攻击你的脸 |
| [21:04] | and implants an egg inside your belly. | 将蛋放进了你的肚子里 |
| [21:05] | Well, that’s exactly the reason I didn’t want to go in. | 就是因为这个原因我才不想上飞船 |