| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Back in the ’80s, | 在八十年代 |
| [00:02] | you only had three options for birthday parties — | 生日派对只有三种选择 |
| [00:05] | Roller skating, chuck e. Cheese, | 滑旱冰 出奇老鼠 |
| [00:07] | or seeing a wildly inappropriate movie | 或是看一部少儿不宜的电影 |
| [00:10] | because your parents didn’t know any better. | 因为你的父母就会这几招 |
| [00:12] | And then… | 然后 |
| [00:13] | Everything changed! | 一切都改变了 |
| [00:14] | We’re playing laser tag tonight, people. | 我们今晚玩激光枪战 |
| [00:16] | I know. It’s gonna be awesome! | 我知道 一定会棒极了 |
| [00:18] | But you know what’s gonna make it even more fun? | 知道什么更有意思吗 |
| [00:21] | Protective cornea goggles. | 角膜保护镜 |
| [00:23] | No. No way. Why the hell do I need to protect my corneas? | 不可能 我为什么要保护我的角膜 |
| [00:26] | Because Sue Nagleman’s son lost his eye to a laser beam. | 因为苏·莱格曼的儿子被激光束弄瞎了眼睛 |
| [00:30] | It wasn’t a laser. It was a taser. | 弄瞎他的不是激光 是电击枪 |
| [00:32] | And you don’t talk back to cops. | 谁叫他跟警察过不去 |
| [00:34] | It’s safe, mom. Laser tag’s for little kids. | 很安全 妈 这是小孩子玩的 |
| [00:37] | For your information, there are many adults | 提醒你一下 很多成年人 |
| [00:39] | that enjoy playing laser tag. | 热衷于玩激光枪战 |
| [00:41] | I admit, they look kind of weird | 我承认 他们坐在 |
| [00:42] | waiting on that single-player bench, | 单人玩家位上等待时 |
| [00:44] | with their desperate eyes just staring at you. | 用绝望的眼神盯着你 是有些怪 |
| [00:47] | Whatever! It’s fun for everyone! | 随便啦 这是老少咸宜的游戏 |
| [00:49] | But mostly dorky, little kids. | 主要是给呆小孩玩的 |
| [00:51] | Well, I’ll never be a fan of lasers, | 我不喜欢激光 |
| [00:53] | but my scrumptious, little snuggle monster | 但我可人的抱抱小怪怪 |
| [00:56] | gets whatever he wants on his birthday. | 生日时想怎样都行 |
| [00:58] | I want you to stop calling me “Snuggle monster”. | 我要你不再叫我”抱抱小怪怪” |
| [01:00] | Can’t give you that. But I can…give you this. | 这个要求不行 但可以给你这个 |
| [01:03] | It’s present time! | 礼物时间到 |
| [01:06] | What the heck is a sleeping angel book? | “睡天使书”是个什么东西 |
| [01:09] | I’ve been taking pictures of you sleeping | 从你出生开始 我就每月 |
| [01:11] | once a month since you were born, my angel, | 拍一张你睡觉的照片 我的小天使 |
| [01:14] | and I made it into a book. | 我做成了一本书 |
| [01:15] | If you flip through it, | 如果你快速翻一遍 |
| [01:16] | you can see how much your head has grown. | 你会发现自己的脑袋长了多大 |
| [01:17] | Why does it say “Sleeping angel part one”? | 这上面为什么写着”睡天使上部” |
| [01:20] | You’ll find out when you go to college. | 等你上大学时就知道了 |
| [01:22] | While my mom gave gifts, | 我妈送礼物时 |
| [01:23] | my dad had his own birthday tradition — | 我爸有他自己的生日传统 |
| [01:25] | Forgetting. | 忘记 |
| [01:26] | My foot hurts. What’s for breakfast? | 我的脚痛 早餐吃什么 |
| [01:29] | Well, we’re celebrating you-know-who | 我们用A形状的煎饼 |
| [01:31] | with “A”-shaped pancakes. | 为那个谁庆祝 |
| [01:33] | A “A”! | |
| [01:34] | It almost slipped my mind. | 我差点忘记了 |
| [01:37] | Al Capone! | 艾尔·卡彭 |
| [01:38] | Geraldo Rivera is opening up Al Capone’s vault today | 杰拉尔多·瑞弗今天会揭秘艾尔·卡彭的保险库 |
| [01:42] | Live on television! | 电视直播 |
| [01:44] | It’s like my birthday. | 就像我生日一样 |
| [01:45] | Okay, murray. Stop playing around. | 好啦 默里 别闹了 |
| [01:47] | You know what day it is. | 你知道今天是什么日子 |
| [01:49] | Yeah, of course. | 当然了 |
| [01:50] | It’s, um… | 今天是 |
| [01:52] | Baby! | 宝宝 |
| [01:53] | Baby out. | 宝宝出来 |
| [01:55] | Baby day. | 宝宝日 |
| [01:56] | Baby…birth. | 宝宝出生 |
| [01:58] | Baby rocking. | 摇宝宝 |
| [01:59] | Birth day. | 出生日 |
| [02:01] | Birthday! | 生日 |
| [02:03] | My son… | 我的儿子 |
| [02:04] | Who is way more important than Al Capone. | 比艾尔·卡彭重要多了 |
| [02:08] | Daddy and I also got you that, didn’t we, Mur? | 你爸和我还准备了这个 对吗 老默 |
| [02:10] | Yeah. Open it up. It’s gonna blow your mind. | 对 快打开 绝对让你眼前一亮 |
| [02:13] | I’m not much for surprises. | 我不太想要惊喜 |
| [02:15] | How about you tell me what you got me, Mur? | 不如你告诉我送的是什么吧 老默 |
| [02:17] | Oh, no, no, no, no. It’s a surprise. | 不不 是个惊喜 |
| [02:19] | – Tell me what you got me. – It’s a surprise. | -告诉我你送的是什么 -是个惊喜 |
| [02:21] | Say it in words. | 说出来 |
| [02:22] | It’s, uh, a-a dancing lady. | 跳舞的女士 |
| [02:26] | A, uh, dancing… | 一个 跳舞 |
| [02:29] | An angry, dancing karate-monkey. | 生气 跳舞的空手道猴子 |
| [02:33] | Wow. | 真有你的 |
| [02:49] | It was mid-April, 1980-something. | 那是一九八几年的四月中 |
| [02:52] | I was still on an epic quest to get my first kiss | 我依然拼了小命 想向大概可能算是 |
| [02:54] | from my kinda/sorta/maybe girlfriend, Dana Caldwell. | 我女友的戴娜·考德威尔献出我的初吻 |
| [02:57] | Thankfully, my favorite afroed tv painter, Bob Ross, | 好在有我最喜欢的爆炸头电视画家鲍勃·罗斯 |
| [03:00] | was there to break the tension. | 打破紧张气氛 |
| [03:02] | I like the way he paints trees. | 我喜欢他画树的方式 |
| [03:05] | The best. | 他最棒了 |
| [03:06] | You should see what he does with cottages. | 你应该看他是怎么画农舍的 |
| [03:08] | …indication here and there | 这里那里 |
| [03:09] | of some happy, little evergreen tress. | 来点开心的常青绿树 |
| [03:11] | Well, I should probably get going. | 我该走了 |
| [03:13] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [03:15] | So, I’ll see you at laser tag? | 我们激光枪战时见吗 |
| [03:16] | Yeah. I hope I’m on your team. | 是的 我希望能和你一队 |
| [03:19] | I’ll see what I can do, but no guarantees. | 我会尽力 但不能保证 |
| [03:21] | There’s gonna be two captains. Could get complicated. | 到时有两个队长 情况挺复杂的 |
| [03:25] | So… | 那么 |
| [03:26] | Happy birthday? | 生日快乐 |
| [03:35] | Up high? | 击个掌 |
| [03:39] | Sure, it wasn’t my first kiss, | 当然 这不是我的初吻 |
| [03:41] | but this double wiggly high-five was just as good, | 但这个双手扭扭击掌也一样棒 |
| [03:44] | I tried to tell myself. | 我尽量这样说服自己 |
| [03:48] | Pathetic, dude. | 太可悲了 老弟 |
| [03:49] | Oh, like you could do any better. | 说得好像你更厉害一样 |
| [03:51] | Hell yeah, I could! | 那是当然 |
| [03:52] | Big tasty knows how to tame the booty with the beat. | 大甜甜知道如何用节奏来征服美女 |
| [03:55] | You got to kiss her, bro! | 你得亲她 老弟 |
| [03:57] | I know! | 我知道 |
| [03:58] | Just — the timing hasn’t been right. | 只是 时机一直不对 |
| [04:00] | I’ve been busy, she’s been busy. | 我很忙 她很忙 |
| [04:02] | Her family went to Sarasota. | 她一家子去了萨拉索塔市 |
| [04:03] | I had that cold and that spanish quiz. | 我感冒了 还有西班牙语测验 |
| [04:06] | Well, now the timing’s right. | 现在时机对了 |
| [04:08] | It’s your birthday. | 你的生日 |
| [04:10] | Tonight, you got to throw a full-on make-out party. | 今晚 你得办一个火力全开的亲亲派对 |
| [04:12] | A laser tag make-out party? | 激光枪战亲亲派对 |
| [04:14] | Logistically, how would that even work? | 逻辑上来说 这怎么行得通 |
| [04:15] | No laser tag! Just make-out party! | 不要激光枪战 只要亲亲派对 |
| [04:18] | What am I? Scott Baio? | 你当我谁啊 斯克特·拜奥吗 |
| [04:19] | I don’t know how to throw a make-out party. | 我不知道怎么办亲亲派对 |
| [04:21] | That’s why you call… | 所以你要打电话给 |
| [04:24] | Barry’s make-out parties. How can I help you? | 巴瑞专业亲亲派对 有什么能帮到您 |
| [04:26] | Can you tell my brother he’s a giant putz? | 你能告诉我哥 他是个大白痴吗 |
| [04:30] | Okay, we turn the basement into a love den. | 我们将地下室装扮成爱的小巢 |
| [04:32] | How? It’s dark and dusty | 怎么弄 那里又暗又多灰 |
| [04:34] | and smells like your old, sweaty hockey gear. | 味道像你又旧又全是汗的冰球服 |
| [04:36] | Pheromones, bro! Ladies love it. | 这是男性气息 老弟 女生们可喜欢了 |
| [04:39] | And we’ll light some incense, | 我们点些香 |
| [04:41] | then we’ll deck it out with sexy accessories | 再用性感的饰品装饰一下 |
| [04:43] | like moroccan pillows, lava lamps, and bongo drums. | 比如说摩洛哥抱枕 熔岩灯 邦加鼓 |
| [04:46] | I’m intrigued. Go on. | 我有点兴趣了 继续说 |
| [04:48] | And we serve the sexiest foods. | 再提供最性感的食物 |
| [04:49] | – Go on. – Oysters. | -继续 -生蚝 |
| [04:51] | Soft cheeses. | 软芝士 |
| [04:52] | – Go on. – And onion dip. | -继续 -洋葱蘸酱 |
| [04:54] | Nothing crunchy. | 不要脆脆的 |
| [04:56] | Know why? | 知道为什么吗 |
| [04:57] | – Crunchy isn’t sexy. – Wait. | -脆脆的不性感 -慢着 |
| [04:59] | How do you eat onion dip if you don’t have anything — | 没有脆脆的食物蘸 怎么吃洋葱蘸酱 |
| [05:01] | Spoons! | 勺子 |
| [05:02] | Spoons are sexy. | 勺子很性感 |
| [05:04] | You obviously know what you’re talking about. | 显然你对这个很在行 |
| [05:06] | But how do I get Dana to kiss me? | 但我怎么才能让戴娜亲我呢 |
| [05:09] | Easy. Break the ice with games. | 简单 用游戏来打破僵局 |
| [05:11] | Twister, truth or dare, | 扭扭乐 真心话大冒险 |
| [05:13] | and the main event — | 最重要的 |
| [05:15] | Seven minutes in heaven. | 天堂七分钟 |
| [05:16] | And you got to wear something seductive, so go to the mall, | 你要穿件有吸引力的衣服 去商场 |
| [05:19] | and buy the first velour clothing you see. | 买下看到的第一件天鹅绒衣服 |
| [05:21] | That’s the sexiest of all fabrics. | 那是所有面料中最性感的 |
| [05:24] | Velour. Got it. | 天鹅绒 明白 |
| [05:25] | I was so desperate for my first kiss | 我对初吻太渴望了 |
| [05:27] | that Barry was actually making sense. | 以至于巴瑞说的话都有道理了 |
| [05:29] | Meanwhile, my dad was desperate | 与此同时 我爸也渴望 |
| [05:31] | to watch some “Geraldo”. | 看到杰拉尔多的揭秘节目 |
| [05:32] | Smells great in here! | 味道真不错啊 |
| [05:35] | Yeah, I went to the south street Italian market | 我去了南街的意大利集市 |
| [05:38] | in honor of the opening of Al capone’s vault. | 庆祝揭秘艾尔·卡彭的保险库 |
| [05:41] | Truly, it’s the most exciting thing to happen to me | 真的 这是过去二十年来 |
| [05:43] | – in the past 20 years. – What about your kids? | -我碰到的最激动的事 -那你的孩子们呢 |
| [05:45] | Oh, they’re not gonna be here. | 他们不在 |
| [05:46] | Adam’s got a thing tonight. | 亚当今晚有事儿 |
| [05:48] | A thing? | 事儿 |
| [05:49] | It’s his birthday party. | 这是他的生日派对 |
| [05:51] | Tell me at least you remembered it this year. | 拜托你告诉我 今年你至少记得了吧 |
| [05:54] | It’s not whether or not I remembered. | 不在于我记不记得 |
| [05:57] | It’s whether he thinks I remembered. | 而在于他觉得我记得了 |
| [05:59] | I don’t think you remembered. | 我不觉得你记得 |
| [06:00] | There’s the man I’m looking for. | 我找的小家伙在这里啊 |
| [06:02] | Happy birthday, kiddo. | 生日快乐 孩子 |
| [06:07] | Holy god. | 老天爷 |
| [06:09] | – A digital pac-man watch? – Do you like it? | -吃豆人电子表 -你喜欢吗 |
| [06:11] | Uh, it’s a video game on my wrist! | 戴在手腕上的电子游戏 |
| [06:13] | I love it! | 我爱死了 |
| [06:15] | Thanks, pops. | 谢谢你 老爷子 |
| [06:16] | You are the greatest man I’ve ever known. | 你是我认识的最好的人 |
| [06:18] | Literally the greatest man. | 真的是最好的人 |
| [06:29] | What was that all about? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [06:31] | Did you not give him a gift? | 你没有送他礼物吗 |
| [06:33] | It’s not whether I got him a gift, | 不在于我是否送他礼物了 |
| [06:35] | it’s whether he thinks I got him a gift. | 而是他觉得我送他礼物了 |
| [06:38] | I don’t! | 我不觉得 |
| [06:39] | Murray, you do this every year. | 默里 你每年都这样 |
| [06:41] | For once, just get him something! | 哪怕一次 送他点礼物吧 |
| [06:44] | Everybody knows that I’m not good at birthdays | 所有人都知道我不擅长什么生日 |
| [06:48] | or giving gifts or remembering events. | 送礼物 记得大日子 |
| [06:50] | It’s my thing! | 我就是这样的 |
| [06:52] | Well, you’re missing out. | 你的损失大了 |
| [06:53] | I mean, did you see the look on Adam’s face | 你没看到我送亚当那个小豆子表时 |
| [06:56] | when I gave him that puckm’n watch thing? | 他脸上的表情吗 |
| [06:59] | Pure joy! | 真正的开心 |
| [07:00] | That’s why we should say the watch is from both of us. | 所以我们应该说 表是咱们两人送的 |
| [07:03] | Just go get the kid a damn gift already! | 快去给这孩子买份礼物吧 |
| [07:07] | While my dad had to suck it up and get me a gift, | 我爸耐着性子去给我买礼物时 |
| [07:09] | I was about to hurt my mom | 我马上要把我妈的心 |
| [07:10] | worse than having all her leg hair yanked out by an epilady. | 伤得比用除毛器把全部腿毛拔光还痛 |
| [07:14] | Whoops! Ooh, I’ll come back. | 哎呀 我等下再来 |
| [07:15] | No, it’s fine, boopie. | 没事 宝贝 |
| [07:17] | Good. | 太好了 |
| [07:18] | ‘Cause I was thinking, instead of laser tag, | 因为我在想 不去玩激光枪战了 |
| [07:21] | maybe me and my friends could hang out in the basement | 我和朋友们可以在地下室 |
| [07:23] | and watch “Ghostbusters”. | 看《捉鬼敢死队》 |
| [07:25] | What? I’m not canceling laser tag. | 什么 我不会取消激光枪战 |
| [07:27] | They wanted a $100 deposit | 他们本来要一百块押金的 |
| [07:29] | until I yelled at the guy to waive it. | 后来我吼到那个男的不收了 |
| [07:31] | I know it’s last minute, but I really want this. | 我知道时间仓促 但我真的想这样过 |
| [07:33] | I guess I could make a “Ghostbusters” cake. | 我想我可以做个”捉鬼敢死队”蛋糕 |
| [07:36] | Yeah… I’m also thinking no cake. | 是啊 我还想着不要蛋糕 |
| [07:39] | – No cake? – No cake. | -不要蛋糕吗 -不要 |
| [07:41] | – No cake?! – No cake. | -不要蛋糕吗 -不要 |
| [07:42] | If there’s no cake, | 如果没有蛋糕 |
| [07:43] | then I can’t hug you and sing “Happy birthday”. | 我就不能抱着你唱生日歌了 |
| [07:46] | Which works out well, | 这也没关系 |
| [07:47] | ‘Cause I’m also thinking no song and…no you. | 因为我还想不要歌 不要你 |
| [07:50] | Then I wouldn’t be there. | 那我就不在场 |
| [07:52] | I have to be there. | 我得在场 |
| [07:53] | Look, starting with this birthday, | 从这个生日开始 |
| [07:55] | everything changes. | 一切都变了 |
| [07:56] | I’m like an adult now. | 我现在算是个成年人了 |
| [07:57] | – But — – This is my special day. | -但是 -这是我特别的日子 |
| [08:00] | Please, mama? | 求你了 妈妈 |
| [08:01] | I only pulled out the “Mama” | 我只有在绝对有必要的时候 |
| [08:02] | when it was absolutely necessary, | 才会使出”妈妈”这招杀手锏 |
| [08:04] | and when I did, she was putty in my hands. | 我使出这招时 她就是我手中的面团了 |
| [08:07] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
| [08:10] | Sad, boring, | 那就办一个伤心无趣 |
| [08:12] | cakeless, songless, momless basement party it is. | 没蛋糕没生日歌没妈的地下室派对吧 |
| [08:16] | With my mother successfully neutralized, | 成功让我妈退居二线后 |
| [08:18] | my make-out bash was a go. | 我的亲亲派对隆重开张了 |
| [08:20] | I scored everything on Barry’s sexy checklist, | 巴瑞的性感清单上 每一条我都做到了 |
| [08:22] | right down to the velour shirt. | 包括天鹅绒的外套 |
| [08:24] | And that last smooth soul jam | 这一首抒情灵乐 |
| [08:27] | was dedicated to all you lovers in the crowd. | 献给在场的所有恋人们 |
| [08:31] | You know who you are. | 你们知道我说的谁 |
| [08:34] | Why is he nodding at us? | 他为什么冲我们点头 |
| [08:36] | No idea. | 不知道 |
| [08:38] | Stop nodding at us! | 别冲我们点头 |
| [08:41] | Turns out, make-out parties are awesome in theory, | 结果 亲亲派对是说起来憧憬无限 |
| [08:44] | but awkward in reality. | 办起来尴尬无比 |
| [08:46] | Next up is twister, y’all! | 接下来是扭扭乐时间 |
| [08:49] | Hope you stretched, | 希望你们身体够舒展 |
| [08:50] | cause it’s about to get real bendy in here. | 因为马上要狠狠地扭一把了 |
| [08:56] | So, um, what happened to laser tag? | 为什么不玩激光枪战了 |
| [08:58] | I just thought this might be more fun. | 我只是觉得这样也许更好玩 |
| [09:01] | Oyster? | 要生蚝吗 |
| [09:03] | – Soft cheese? – Oh, wow. That’s really stinky. | -软芝士 -哇 好臭啊 |
| [09:06] | You know it. | 你知道的 |
| [09:08] | Check this out. | 看这个 |
| [09:10] | Moroccan pillow. | 摩洛哥抱枕 |
| [09:16] | Oh, it’s hard. | 好硬啊 |
| [09:17] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [09:20] | And with that, the best night of my life | 就是这样 我这辈子最棒的夜晚 |
| [09:22] | had officially become a kissless, velour nightmare. | 正式成为了没有亲亲的天鹅绒恶梦 |
| [09:28] | Amazingly, | 令人惊讶地是 |
| [09:29] | my mom took my momless party in stride. | 我妈冷静地接受了我这个没妈的派对 |
| [09:31] | – This is madness. – Or not. | -真是疯了 -也许没有 |
| [09:33] | I mean, what boy wants a basement party? | 什么样的男生想要办一个地下室派对 |
| [09:36] | There’s no pin the tail on the donkey, | 没有给驴子贴尾巴游戏 |
| [09:37] | no balloons, no cake. | 没有气球 没有蛋糕 |
| [09:40] | You know what? Screw it. | 知道吗 见鬼去 |
| [09:42] | Give me the phone book. I’m calling a clown. | 把电话簿给我 我要打电话请小丑 |
| [09:44] | No! Stop! | 不 别这样 |
| [09:46] | No clown. | 不要小丑 |
| [09:47] | I know my son. | 我了解我的儿子 |
| [09:49] | He needs me down there. | 他需要我下去 |
| [09:51] | I can literally feel him call me | 我真的可以感觉到他在叫我 |
| [09:53] | to bring him this festive platter of bagel bites. | 为他把这盘生日百吉饼送过去 |
| [09:56] | You promised Adam. | 你跟亚当保证过了 |
| [09:58] | I’ll bring him the stupid bagel bites. | 我给他把这盘百吉饼送下去 |
| [10:02] | Gimme. | 给我 |
| [10:03] | You stay put. | 你留在这里 |
| [10:05] | The last thing Erica wanted | 爱丽卡最不想的就是让我那位 |
| [10:06] | was for my overbearing smother to ruin my party. | 专横的母亲大人毁掉我的派对 |
| [10:09] | But then she saw the soft, pink mood lighting… | 但是她看到了柔和粉红的情调灯光 |
| [10:12] | …and the gooey, sexy foods? | 粘粘的性感食物 |
| [10:15] | And Chachi! | 还有恰奇 |
| [10:17] | And just like that, my sister went into full mom mode. | 于是 我的姐姐进入了妈妈模式 |
| [10:20] | What the hell is happening here? | 这里是怎么回事 |
| [10:22] | Looks like a love dungeon in a serial killer’s house. | 看起来像是连环杀手家里的性爱地牢 |
| [10:25] | It’s a make-out party, | 这是亲亲派对 |
| [10:27] | and I got to say, bagel bites? | 我不得不说说你 拿什么百吉饼啊 |
| [10:29] | Not sexy. Get ’em out of here. | 不够性感 快拿走 |
| [10:30] | ‘Sup, Erica? Didn’t know you’d be here. | 还好吗 爱丽卡 不知道你会来 |
| [10:32] | Okay, get your body away from me, Dave Kim. | 离我远一点 金戴夫 |
| [10:36] | Seriously? | 你不是吧 |
| [10:37] | This whole thing is upsetting and wrong. | 这样做让人心里不舒服 这样不对 |
| [10:40] | And it has to stop right now. | 现在必须停止 |
| [10:42] | Okay, this is all I could find for spin the bottle, | 我就找到这个可以转瓶子 |
| [10:44] | but it’s completely full. | 但是是满的 |
| [10:45] | Barry to the rescue. | 巴瑞来搞定 |
| [10:47] | I’ll take it down. My body loves calcium. | 我来喝掉 我的身体喜欢钙 |
| [10:50] | That day, my brother found out the hard way | 那天 我哥吃了一番苦头才发现 |
| [10:52] | it’s physically impossible to drink that much milk. | 从生理上来说 是不可能喝下这么多牛奶的 |
| [10:55] | Is this from a cow? | 这是奶牛挤出来的吗 |
| [10:57] | Why is it so hard? | 为什么这么难喝完 |
| [11:03] | My body says no, but… | 我的身体说不行了 但是 |
| [11:05] | I’m gonna do this for you guys. | 我会为你们做到 |
| [11:08] | Are you kidding me? | 你开什么玩笑 |
| [11:09] | Spin the bottle, mood lighting, and velour? | 转瓶子 情调灯光 天鹅绒 |
| [11:12] | This isn’t you. | 这不是你 |
| [11:13] | Can we talk about this later? | 可以稍后再说吗 |
| [11:15] | You’re kind of giving off a…mom vibe. | 你在散发出一种老妈的气场 |
| [11:18] | I am not mom! | 我才不是老妈 |
| [11:20] | I will never be mom! | 我永远不可能是老妈 |
| [11:22] | Now, take these bagel bites | 把百吉饼拿走 |
| [11:23] | and blow on them three times | 吃前先吹三下 |
| [11:24] | or they’ll scald your little mouth, | 否则会烫伤你的小嘴 |
| [11:26] | and get away from me, Dave Kim! | 离我远点 金戴夫 |
| [11:28] | Okay. I’m gonna need you to leave my party. | 好了 你得离开我的派对 |
| [11:31] | Oh, I’m leaving. | 我会走 |
| [11:34] | I’ll go up there and tell mom | 我会上去告诉妈妈 |
| [11:35] | all about your creepy freak fest. | 你这个变态的聚会 |
| [11:37] | Hold on. | 慢着 |
| [11:38] | You win, okay? | 你赢了 好吗 |
| [11:40] | At least let me tell her. | 至少让我亲口告诉她 |
| [11:42] | And it’s just I thought I knew what kind of party I wanted. | 只是 我以为我知道想要什么样的派对 |
| [11:47] | But I realize now — | 但我现在意识到 |
| [11:49] | – What is it, honey? – I really want a cake! | -怎么啦 亲爱的 -我真的想要蛋糕 |
| [11:51] | Something that reminds me of my childhood. | 蛋糕能让我想起童年 |
| [11:53] | It would make me so happy, but now it’s too late… | 会让我非常开心 但现在太迟了 |
| [11:57] | Mama. | 妈妈 |
| [11:59] | Mama’s here, baby. | 有妈妈在 宝贝 |
| [12:01] | Mama’s going to the store right now. | 妈妈现在就去商店 |
| [12:03] | Mama will be back in 20 minutes. | 妈妈二十分钟后就回来 |
| [12:06] | Wait. Mom! | 慢着 妈 |
| [12:07] | Out of my way! | 别挡道 |
| [12:08] | I-I want Bert and Ernie! | 我要伯特和厄尼的主题蛋糕 |
| [12:10] | Anything for my birthday boy. | 小寿星要什么都行 |
| [12:14] | Well, that was good. | 真厉害 |
| [12:16] | But you leave me no choice. | 但你让我别无选择了 |
| [12:17] | When mom gets back, I’m gonna tell her everything. | 妈回来后 我会把一切都告诉她 |
| [12:20] | Oh, I don’t think so. | 我不觉得 |
| [12:22] | Unless you want her to hear | 除非你想让她知道 |
| [12:23] | what happened at the winter formal. | 冬季舞会上的事 |
| [12:25] | – What? – And when you were on that ski trip. | -什么 -还有你那次去滑雪橇 |
| [12:27] | – What? – Three words — south padre island. | -什么 -四个字 南帕诸岛 |
| [12:31] | – What? – I have been the coolest little brother in the world | -什么 -在这一刻前 我一直是全世界 |
| [12:33] | until now. | 最酷的弟弟 |
| [12:34] | You keep my secret, I’ll keep yours. | 你帮我保守秘密 我就会保守你的秘密 |
| [12:37] | Now, do we understand each other? | 同意吗 |
| [12:39] | – Yes! – Good. | -同意 -很好 |
| [12:40] | While my sister was trying | 我姐想办法 |
| [12:42] | to figure out a way to end my party, | 终结我的派对时 |
| [12:43] | Barry was doing all he could to keep it chugging along. | 巴瑞在尽最大努力 让派对继续 |
| [12:49] | Are you almost done? | 你快喝完了吗 |
| [12:50] | People are starting to lose interest in spin the bottle. | 大家开始对转瓶子失去兴趣了 |
| [12:53] | I’m trying! | 我在努力 |
| [12:54] | Son of a bitch! This thing is bottomless! | 他妈的 这个东西根本是个无底洞 |
| [12:57] | That bottle wasn’t the only thing bottomless. | 这瓶子并不是唯一”无底”的 |
| [12:58] | Just then, my dad decided to pick | 就在这时候 我爸决定 |
| [13:01] | the worst moment to finally give me my birthday gift. | 选在最糟糕的时机 送我生日礼物 |
| [13:04] | Where’s the man of the hour?! | 小寿星在哪里 |
| [13:06] | Dad, what the hell? You’re not wearing any pants! | 爸 搞什么 你没穿裤子 |
| [13:09] | Oh, they know how it works around here. | 他们知道我就是这样的 |
| [13:11] | You notice anything else? | 注意到别的了吗 |
| [13:14] | Laser tag! | 激光枪 |
| [13:15] | I bought a bunch for you and your friends. | 我给你和朋友们买了一些激光枪 |
| [13:17] | Yeah. Great. Now please leave. | 太好了 现在请离开 |
| [13:19] | I just went and bought you | 我刚出去给你买了 |
| [13:22] | the thing you wanted most in the world. | 世界上你最想的东西 |
| [13:25] | You could at least give me | 你至少可以给我 |
| [13:26] | a thumbs-up, a thank-you, a look of appreciation. | 竖个拇指 说声谢谢 来个感激的表情 |
| [13:29] | Happy? | 满意了吗 |
| [13:30] | That’s a fake smile, and you know it. | 这是假笑 你知道的 |
| [13:32] | It’s not a fake smile. It’s got teeth and everything. | 不是假笑 牙齿全露出来了 |
| [13:34] | I hate that smile! | 我讨厌这个笑容 |
| [13:36] | I don’t even like laser tag, okay? | 我根本不喜欢激光枪好吗 |
| [13:38] | Want to get me a present? | 想送我礼物吗 |
| [13:39] | Go. | 离开是最好的礼物 |
| [13:43] | My dad finally bought me a gift from the heart, | 我爸终于真心为我买了礼物 |
| [13:46] | and I flat-out rejected him. | 而我却直接拒绝了他 |
| [13:47] | I was sacrificing everything for that kiss, | 为了初吻 我牺牲了一切 |
| [13:49] | and nothing would stop me. | 没什么可以阻止我 |
| [13:54] | It burns! | 好辣 |
| [13:55] | Can I get some milk? | 给我点牛奶好吗 |
| [13:58] | Seriously?! | 耍我是吧 |
| [13:59] | Now you ask me? | 现在你要喝 |
| [14:01] | You’re unb– | 你真是… |
| [14:03] | I got to go. I got to go. | 我得走了 我得走了 |
| [14:08] | I had neutralized Erica with threats | 我用威胁支开了爱丽卡 |
| [14:10] | and my mother with cake, | 用蛋糕支开了老妈 |
| [14:12] | but I knew that wasn’t gonna hold them off forever. | 但我知道这样不可能永远拖住她们 |
| [14:14] | Is the cake ready yet? | 蛋糕还没好吗 |
| [14:16] | I mean, how much more baking do you need to do already? | 你还要烤多少啊 |
| [14:19] | Get off my back, Erica. | 别来烦我 爱丽卡 |
| [14:20] | I’m a mother, not a pastry chef. | 我是当妈的 不是糕点厨师 |
| [14:22] | This looks like “Sloth” From “The goonies”. | 这个像《七宝奇谋》里的斯洛夫 |
| [14:24] | Why is it so hard to make an oblong Bert head? | 为什么做椭圆形的伯特头这么难 |
| [14:28] | No, no, no, no! Don’t start over! | 不要 不要重来 |
| [14:31] | Just go downstairs right now | 现在下楼 |
| [14:33] | and see what’s going on, okay? | 去看看情况好吗 |
| [14:35] | No, I can’t barge in. | 不 我不能插手 |
| [14:36] | What do you mean you can’t barge in? | 什么叫”你不能插手” |
| [14:38] | That’s all you do! | 你就会这个 |
| [14:39] | I finally made some headway with Adam. | 我和亚当间终于有进步了 |
| [14:41] | He asked for a cake. | 他要个蛋糕 |
| [14:43] | If I play my cards right, | 只要我做得对 |
| [14:44] | I can get some huggies when we sing “Happy birthday”! | 我们唱生日歌时 我就能抱抱他了 |
| [14:48] | Mom, do you remember the time | 妈 你还记得那次 |
| [14:50] | that you snuck in the basement and spied on me and Lainey | 你溜进地下室 发现我和兰妮 |
| [14:52] | drinking mango madness wine coolers | 在喝疯狂芒果水果酒 |
| [14:54] | and then grounded me for two months? | 然后禁足我两个月吗 |
| [14:55] | Yes. That was a good day. | 记得 那是个好日子 |
| [14:57] | Okay, well, I need you to go downstairs. | 我需要你下楼 |
| [15:00] | And just in case Adam does mention something | 先说一下 如果亚当提到什么 |
| [15:02] | about south padre island, he’s a liar. | 南帕诸岛 他是个骗子 |
| [15:06] | And I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [15:08] | While my meddling smother plotted her next move, | 我这位爱插手的母亲大人计划下一步行动时 |
| [15:10] | the plot thickened outside Al Capone’s vault. | 艾尔·卡彭保险库外面的情节变精彩了 |
| [15:14] | …the real secret tunnel. | 真正的秘道 |
| [15:15] | I can’t believe it. | 我不敢相信 |
| [15:16] | That little moron ruined Al Capone’s vault for me. | 那个小白痴毁了我看艾尔·卡彭保险库的心情 |
| [15:19] | Stop it, Murray. | 别说了 默里 |
| [15:20] | In 10 minutes, | 十分钟后 |
| [15:21] | he’s gonna blow open that vault | 他会炸开保险库 |
| [15:23] | and with it, our minds. | 咱们也能眼界大开 |
| [15:26] | How am I supposed to enjoy it? | 叫我哪有心情好好看 |
| [15:27] | I don’t buy Adam a gift, he’s pissed at me. | 我没给亚当买礼物 他生我的气 |
| [15:29] | I buy him a gift, he’s even more pissed at me. | 我给他买了礼物 他更生气了 |
| [15:31] | I can’t win. | 怎么做都不对 |
| [15:32] | Our baby grew up so fast, didn’t he? | 我们的宝贝长得太快了 不是吗 |
| [15:35] | It’s, like, one minute, he’s this little, four-eyed dork. | 前一分钟 他还是个四眼小呆子 |
| [15:38] | Then you blink, and he’s a man. | 眨眼工夫 他就长成小伙子了 |
| [15:40] | A man with needs. | 有需要的小伙子 |
| [15:43] | What’s happening? | 出什么事了 |
| [15:44] | I miss that little lovebug. That’s what’s happening. | 我想念那个小家伙 就是这么回事 |
| [15:47] | Oh, my god. I am mom! | 老天 我真成了老妈了 |
| [15:49] | You are, and I got to tell you, it’s a real downer. | 没错 我得告诉你 这太让人扫兴了 |
| [15:52] | You know how many gifts my dad bought me growing up? | 知道我成长过程中 我爸买了多少礼物给我吗 |
| [15:54] | Zero. | 零 |
| [15:56] | That’s all I got from that man — nothing. | 我从那家伙手中什么也没得到过 |
| [15:58] | Do you think it hurt? Damn right, it hurt. | 你觉得伤心吗 当然伤心了 |
| [16:00] | Oh, my god! | 我的天 |
| [16:01] | Why are you coming to terms with this now? | 你为什么要现在来个彻底觉悟 |
| [16:04] | They’re about to blow the safe! | 就要炸开保险库了 |
| [16:06] | See, that’s why I don’t give gifts. | 所以我才不送礼物 |
| [16:07] | It’s all a sham. | 全是假的 |
| [16:08] | I wish we could just stop time, you know? | 要是能让时间停下多好 |
| [16:11] | And keep him our special, little boy forever. | 让他永远做那个特别的小男孩 |
| [16:13] | Okay. That’s it. | 我受够了 |
| [16:14] | I’m watching tv upstairs. | 我上楼看电视去 |
| [16:16] | No one follow me. | 不准跟来 |
| [16:18] | While my dad and sister were having a breakdown, | 我爸和我姐情绪崩溃时 |
| [16:20] | my mom was plotting a break-in. | 我妈在密谋闯入 |
| [16:25] | My god, she was like a silent, | 老天 她就像一个无声的 |
| [16:27] | manicured, nosy ninja. | 美过甲 爱管闲事的忍者 |
| [16:31] | Smooth move, Adam. | 你真会转 亚当 |
| [16:33] | It’s not my fault. It’s too big a bottle. | 这不是我的错 这是个大瓶子 |
| [16:35] | It’s meant for milk, not spinning. | 是用来装牛奶 不是用来转的 |
| [16:36] | Maybe we should just go. | 不如我们走吧 |
| [16:38] | No! | 不 |
| [16:40] | Don’t go. | 别走 |
| [16:41] | How about, uh, seven minutes in heaven? | 不如玩”天堂七分钟”吧 |
| [16:44] | Yeah. Yeah. | 好的 |
| [16:45] | It’s your birthday, dude, so you pick first. | 今天是你的生日 哥们 你先挑 |
| [16:47] | This kiss was my Al Capone’s vault. | 这个吻 就是我的艾尔·卡彭保险库 |
| [16:50] | The buildup was excruciating, | 营造气氛阶段太折磨人了 |
| [16:52] | and it was finally time to get it over with. | 终于来到了最后一步 |
| [16:55] | Dana, I guess? | 我就选戴娜吧 |
| [16:57] | Um…okay. | 好吧 |
| [16:59] | Even though my big moment was here, | 尽管我重要的一刻来了 |
| [17:01] | I was blissfully unaware | 但我太幸福 没有意识到 |
| [17:02] | that the other woman in my life had crashed my party. | 我生命中的另一个女人 已经闯进了我的派对 |
| [17:16] | Are you playing pac-man? | 你在玩吃豆人吗 |
| [17:18] | No, I-I’m trying to set the timer. | 不 我在设置定时器 |
| [17:20] | The directions are in Japanese. | 说明文字是日文的 |
| [17:22] | It’s very complicated. | 太复杂了 |
| [17:25] | There we go. | 可以了 |
| [17:26] | We’re on the clock. | 倒计时开始了 |
| [17:31] | Are you sweating? | 你在出汗吗 |
| [17:33] | It’s the velour shirt. It doesn’t breathe. | 这是天鹅绒的 不透气 |
| [17:35] | It reminds me of my nana’s robe. | 让我想起外婆的浴袍 |
| [17:40] | So… | 那么 |
| [17:42] | we got 6:38 left. | 还有6分38秒 |
| [17:44] | What are you thinking? | 你想做什么 |
| [17:45] | I guess we could, um, you know. | 我想我们可以 你知道的 |
| [17:50] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [17:51] | Let’s…you know. | 我们来… 你知道的 |
| [17:55] | What’s wrong? | 怎么啦 |
| [17:57] | Me? I thought that was you. | 我吗 我以为是你 |
| [18:02] | Hi, poopie. | 你好 宝贝 |
| [18:03] | – Oh, my god. – Hey, Dana. | -我的天 -你好 戴娜 |
| [18:05] | – Oh, my god! – Wow. That is an adorable dress. | -我的天 -你的裙子真可爱 |
| [18:08] | I was just seeing if the ski boots | 我只是来看看滑雪靴 |
| [18:10] | were all where they’re supposed to be, | 在不在应该在的地方 |
| [18:12] | and, uh they are. | 在这里 |
| [18:16] | Dana! | 戴娜 |
| [18:17] | I don’t want to talk to you. | 我不想和你说话 |
| [18:19] | Wait. Just give me a sec. | 别走 听我说 |
| [18:20] | Your mom was in our seven minutes in heaven! | 我们的”天堂七分钟” 你妈也参与了 |
| [18:22] | I’m sorry. This whole thing has been a complete disaster. | 对不起 这次派对完全是场灾难 |
| [18:25] | Why’d you even throw this stupid party? | 你为什么要办这场烂派对 |
| [18:26] | What was wrong with laser tag? | 激光枪战有什么不好 |
| [18:28] | Nothing! I love laser tag. | 没不好 我爱激光枪战 |
| [18:30] | Then why didn’t we just play laser tag? | 那我们为什么不玩激光枪战呢 |
| [18:33] | You big idiot. | 你这个大白痴 |
| [18:36] | You’re right. I am an idiot. | 你是对的 我是个白痴 |
| [18:40] | Let’s just play laser tag. | 我们玩激光枪战吧 |
| [18:44] | That night, my worst birthday ever became the best. | 那晚 我最差劲的生日变成了最棒的 |
| [18:47] | Yeah, we all wanted that first kiss, | 我们都想要初吻 |
| [18:49] | but for one more night, | 但我们都很开心 |
| [18:50] | we were all happy to keep on being kids. | 再多做一晚的小孩子 |
| [18:54] | What a little dork. | 真是个小呆子 |
| [18:56] | Thank god. | 谢天谢地 |
| [18:57] | Dad! | 爸 |
| [19:00] | Best gift ever! | 有史以来最棒的礼物 |
| [19:02] | See that smile? | 看到这个笑容了吗 |
| [19:03] | That’s it! That’s the look! | 就是这个 就是这个表情 |
| [19:07] | Come on. Let’s go see that handsome devil open that vault. | 走吧 去看那个英俊的主持人打开保险库 |
| [19:11] | Oh, just tell me what happens. | 告诉我结果就行 |
| [19:19] | It seems, at least up to now, | 看来 至少是现在看来 |
| [19:20] | that we’ve struck out with the vault. | 保险库没能令大家如意 |
| [19:22] | I’m disappointed about that, as I’m sure you are. | 我很失望 我相信大家一样 |
| [19:24] | Turns out, Al Capone’s vault was empty. | 结果 艾尔·卡彭的保险库是空的 |
| [19:26] | All that buildup and no payoff. | 竹篮打水一场空 |
| [19:29] | Poor mustachioed bastard. | 可怜的大胡子混蛋 |
| [19:34] | We’re just taking a break. | 我们休息一下 |
| [19:37] | I just finished the cake. | 我刚做好蛋糕 |
| [19:39] | It’s terrible, isn’t it? I should just start over. | 很糟糕对吗 我重新做一个 |
| [19:41] | No! I love it. | 不 我好喜欢 |
| [19:44] | Let’s eat. | 我们吃蛋糕吧 |
| [19:45] | Happy birthday, snuggle monster. | 生日快乐 抱抱小怪怪 |
| [19:50] | Thanks, mama. | 谢谢 妈妈 |
| [19:57] | There’s too many of them. | 他们人太多了 |
| [19:58] | You run, I’ll cover you. | 你跑 我掩护你 |
| [20:04] | Gotcha! | 你跑不掉了 |
| [20:06] | No! | 不 |
| [20:11] | You saved me. | 你救了我 |
| [20:12] | I…guess I did. | 我想是的 |
| [20:28] | Even though Al Capone’s vault | 虽然艾尔·卡彭的保险库 |
| [20:29] | may have been a complete letdown, | 令人完全失望了 |
| [20:31] | some things in life | 但生活中有些事 |
| [20:32] | are as amazing as you’d hoped they’d be. | 正如你希望的一样美好 |
| [20:44] | Who should I kiss? | 我应该亲谁 |
| [20:45] | Come on, Adam! | 快点 亚当 |
| [20:47] | She’s not gonna let me kiss — | 她不会让我亲的 |
| [20:50] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [20:51] | As student council treasurer, | 作为学生会的财务部 |
| [20:53] | we should go over the budget first, | 我们应该先做预算 |
| [20:55] | and then, if we have time, talk bake sale. | 如果还有时间 就商量下糕饼义卖的事 |
| [20:57] | Why exactly are we meeting down here? | 为什么要在这里开会 |
| [20:58] | No reason. | 没原因 |
| [20:59] | Soft cheese? Oyster? | 软芝士 生蚝 要来点吗 |
| [21:02] | Not you, Sanjeev. | 不是叫你吃 桑杰维 |
| [21:03] | Let’s begin, shall we? | 开始好吗 |
| [21:05] | Unfortunately, there’s no chairs, | 遗憾地是 这里没椅子 |
| [21:07] | so we’re gonna have to sit in a circle on the floor. | 咱们在地上围坐成一圈好了 |
| [21:12] | Oh! Look! | 看 |
| [21:14] | A bottle! | 瓶子 |
| [21:15] | Here’s a crazy idea. | 我有个疯狂的点子 |
| [21:17] | Spin the bottle! | 转瓶子 |
| [21:19] | I’ll go first. | 我先来 |
| [21:24] | Bagel bites? | 要来点百吉饼吗 |