| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Halloween in the ’80s — | 八十年代的万圣节 |
| [00:02] | The one day a year you could wear what you want, | 一年中仅这一天 想穿什么穿什么 |
| [00:05] | Go where you want, eat what you want, | 想去哪里去哪里 想吃什么吃什么 |
| [00:07] | And nothing could stop me in my voltron costume. | 没什么可以阻止穿着战神金刚戏服的我 |
| [00:10] | Except my “smother.” | 除了我那”爱你爱到杀死你”的老妈 |
| [00:13] | Oh! Come on. That’s my halloween candy. | 拜托 这是我的万圣节糖果 |
| [00:15] | Let me just eat it already. | 让我吃吧 |
| [00:16] | Not until we take it to the hospital | 得先拿去医院 |
| [00:18] | and have it x-rayed. | 照X光才行 |
| [00:20] | Ellen Shorstein’s son found a handful of aquarium gravel | 艾伦·肖斯坦的儿子在杏仁糖里发现了一把 |
| [00:24] | in an almond cluster. | 鱼缸碎石 |
| [00:26] | Tore his braces right off. | 立刻弄断了他的牙套 |
| [00:28] | That was one of the many urban legends back then. | 这是当年的许多传闻之一 |
| [00:31] | There was no google or wikipedia, | 那时没谷歌和维基百科 |
| [00:32] | so you believed every stupid rumor you heard, | 所以你会相信听到的每一个愚蠢的谣言 |
| [00:35] | like bigfoot lived in upstate new york | 比如说大脚怪生活在纽约州北 |
| [00:37] | or Mr. Rogers was the world’s most deadly sniper | 罗杰斯先生是世界上最夺命的狙击手 |
| [00:40] | or there was a ghost in “Three men and a baby.” | 《三个奶爸一个娃》中有个鬼 |
| [00:45] | We actually believed if you played | 我们真的相信如果将 |
| [00:46] | Led Zeppelin, Beatles, or the Stones backwards, | 齐柏林飞艇 披头士和滚石乐队的唱片倒着放 |
| [00:48] | you could hear hidden satanic messages. | 可以听到隐藏的恶魔的信息 |
| [00:54] | Did you hear that? He said he loves satan! | 你听到了吗 他说他爱魔鬼 |
| [00:56] | You know what I love? Silence! | 你知道我爱什么吗 安静 |
| [00:58] | Stop screwing with my record player! | 别弄坏我的唱片机 |
| [01:00] | But the most epic urban legend of them all | 但其中最经典的传闻 |
| [01:02] | was that cola became a lethal poison | 就是可乐成了致命毒药 |
| [01:05] | when mixed with a particular exploding candy. | 当它与特定的爆炸糖混合的时候 |
| [01:09] | Stupid Barry! Why?! | 白痴巴瑞 做什么 |
| [01:11] | Oh, my god. | 我的天 |
| [01:12] | You were seconds from death, and I saved you! | 你离死亡就一步了 我救了你 |
| [01:14] | What are you talking about? | 你胡说什么 |
| [01:15] | Hello! | 拜托 |
| [01:17] | When the bubbles in the soda | 当可乐里的泡沫 |
| [01:18] | mix with the explosives in the pop rocks, | 与跳跳糖里的爆炸物混合 |
| [01:20] | it triggers a chain reaction that melts your insides! | 将引发连锁反应 熔掉你的器官 |
| [01:23] | Shut up. It does not. | 闭嘴 才不会 |
| [01:24] | – Well, tell that to Mikey. – Who’s Mikey? | -跟米奇说去 -谁是米奇 |
| [01:26] | Who’s Mikey? | 谁是米奇 |
| [01:28] | God, you know nothing. | 老天 你真是什么都不知道 |
| [01:29] | Mikey, the spokesboy for life cereal. | 米奇 生命谷物的代言男孩 |
| [01:33] | You know, he likes it. Mikey likes it. | 他喜欢生命谷物 米奇喜欢 |
| [01:35] | Well, he did until he mixed pop rocks and soda, | 他是喜欢 直到他喝下可乐吃了跳跳糖 |
| [01:38] | then he exploded. | 结果爆炸了 |
| [01:40] | – Oh, please. He did not. – Wait! | -得了 才没有 -慢着 |
| [01:42] | – I just saved your life. – What? | -我刚救了你的命 -什么 |
| [01:44] | According to the way of the samurai, | 根据武士道精神 |
| [01:46] | you’re my servant until the debt is repaid. | 在债务还清前 你是我的仆人 |
| [01:47] | That’s not a thing. | 根本没这回事 |
| [01:49] | Oh, it is. It’s the bushido code. | 有 这是武士道规则 |
| [01:51] | Well, that sounds like complete bull-shido. | 听起来完全就是胡说八道 |
| [01:53] | It’s ancient history written in stone! | 这是刻在石头上的远古历史 |
| [01:55] | You have no choice! | 你没得选择 |
| [01:56] | I’m not anyone’s slave. You didn’t save my life. | 我不是任何人的仆人 你没有救我的命 |
| [02:00] | And it’s not real. | 没有这种事 |
| [02:01] | All right, then. | 那好吧 |
| [02:02] | If you’re so certain it’s not real, then do it. | 如果你这么确定没这种事 那就来吧 |
| [02:06] | Do it! | 来啊 |
| [02:08] | Aah! What the hell?! | 搞什么啊 |
| [02:10] | What are you, nuts? | 你疯了吗 |
| [02:12] | Mikey gave his life so that that would never happen again! | 米奇牺牲了自己以确保不会再发生这种事 |
| [02:31] | It was october 31, 1980-something, | 那是一九八几年的10月31日 |
| [02:33] | the year my grandfather, a.k.a. Burt Reynolds, | 那年我的外公 扮作了伯特·雷诺兹 |
| [02:36] | threw the most epic halloween bash | 举办了一场最经典的万圣节派对 |
| [02:38] | his condo building had ever seen. | 他的公寓大楼都没见识过的 |
| [02:40] | All right, let’s get this party started! | 好啦 咱们让派对开始吧 |
| [02:42] | Who wants flaming pumpkin shots? | 谁要燃烧的南瓜一口闷 |
| [02:48] | Ah! Trick or treat, baby. | 不给糖就捣蛋 亲爱的 |
| [02:52] | Sure, pops almost burned the place down, | 当然 老爷子差点烧了整栋楼 |
| [02:54] | but he only cared about one thing. | 但他只关心一件事 |
| [02:56] | Fun party. | 好玩的派对 |
| [02:58] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [03:00] | I smoothed everything over. | 所以问题我都解决了 |
| [03:01] | So I can stay? | 我可以留下吗 |
| [03:03] | Oh, god, no. Your landlord’s kicking you out. | 当然不 你的房东要赶你走 |
| [03:05] | But you’re not going to jail. | 但你不会坐牢 |
| [03:07] | Don’t worry. You can move in with us. | 别担心 你可以搬去和我们一起住 |
| [03:09] | Roomies! We can finally be roomies! | 室友 我们终于可以做室友了 |
| [03:11] | Kiddo, I don’t want to cramp your style. | 孩子 我不想害你出丑 |
| [03:13] | What if you bring a girl back to the room? | 万一你带女孩回房间怎么办 |
| [03:15] | We both know that’s not gonna happen. | 我们都知道这是不可能发生的事 |
| [03:17] | – Let’s go get a bag packed. – Finally! | -我们去打包 -终于等到了 |
| [03:19] | All my boys under one roof! It’s happening! | 我家男人全住在一个屋檐下了 成真了 |
| [03:23] | No. I know that look in your eye. | 不 我懂你这个眼神 |
| [03:25] | You want your dad to live with us forever. | 你要你爸永远和我们住一起 |
| [03:28] | Murray, that’s a great idea! | 默里 好棒的主意 |
| [03:30] | Stop making me feel good! He’s not staying! | 别让我感觉良好 他不能留下 |
| [03:33] | Bevy, it’s time we discussed other options. | 贝弗 是时候讨论其它做法了 |
| [03:36] | Stop it right there. | 别再说了 |
| [03:37] | I have said this a thousand times. | 我已经说过无数次了 |
| [03:39] | We’re not moving my dad into a home. | 我们不会把我爸送进养老院 |
| [03:41] | Shady willows is not a home. | 绿荫杨柳不是养老院 |
| [03:43] | It’s a leisure community for active seniors. | 是面向有活力老年人的高档社区 |
| [03:47] | I don’t trust shady willows. “shady” is in the name. | 我不相信绿荫杨柳 名字里就有”名声不好” |
| [03:51] | That’s because old people love shade. | 那是因为老年人喜欢阴凉 |
| [03:53] | They have trees. They have umbrellas. | 那里有树 有遮阳伞 |
| [03:54] | You name it, they got it. | 你只要说的出来 全都有 |
| [03:56] | Taco Tuesdays, fajita Fridays! | 玉米卷饼周二 墨西哥烤肉周五 |
| [03:58] | It’s all there! | 全都有 |
| [03:59] | That is way too much Mexican food for him. | 对他来说墨西哥食物太多了 |
| [04:02] | You’re not to mention this to him. Do you understand? | 你不能对他提起这个 明白吗 |
| [04:04] | Family takes care of family. End of story. | 家人要照顾家人 不要再说了 |
| [04:06] | Damn it! I’m working my ass off | 见鬼 我拼命地 |
| [04:09] | trying to get people to move out of our house. | 想让人从咱家里搬出去 |
| [04:11] | Stop trying to move people in! | 别再让人搬进来了 |
| [04:13] | Let’s compromise, okay? | 我们都让一步好吗 |
| [04:15] | Until we figure something out, dad can crash in the attic. | 在我们想到办法前 爸就在阁楼挤挤 |
| [04:18] | Ha ha! Good luck getting him to move up there. | 那祝你好运了 |
| [04:20] | It’s hot, it’s dusty, and it’s covered with bat doody. | 那里又热又多灰 全是蝙蝠屎 |
| [04:24] | Son of a bitch. | 你个狗崽子 |
| [04:26] | You got that right. | 没错 |
| [04:28] | How’d you pull this off in two days? | 你怎么在两天内做到的 |
| [04:30] | Oh, it was nothing. | 没什么 |
| [04:31] | I just dusted, moved some boxes, drywalled, | 我只是除了尘 搬走了箱子 装墙板 |
| [04:34] | did a little electrical work, added a bay window. | 做了些电工活 加了个飘窗 |
| [04:36] | U know, mother’s touch. | 稍微收拾了下 |
| [04:38] | As my mom was busy moving in pops, | 我妈忙着让老爷子搬进来时 |
| [04:40] | Barry was moving in on Lainey in the hopes to get busy. | 巴瑞正向兰妮靠近 希望能得手 |
| [04:44] | 88 89 100 88, 89, 100. | |
| [04:48] | Man, exercise does this body good. | 老天 锻炼让我的身材太棒了 |
| [04:50] | Time for a cool-down. | 是时候休息下了 |
| [04:53] | What are you drinking? | 你在喝什么 |
| [04:54] | Pepto. | 消化药 |
| [04:55] | Set the abba-zaba record at lunch today. | 今天午餐时创下了花生太妃糖的新纪录 |
| [04:58] | My boys bet me 10 bucks I couldn’t eat 8. | 兄弟们打赌10块 说我吃不下8个 |
| [05:00] | Took down 12. | 我吃了12个 |
| [05:02] | Are you trying to impress me by eating halloween candy? | 你是想通过吃万圣节糖果让我刮目相看吗 |
| [05:05] | Not trying. If it happens, so be it. | 不是想 如果发生了 就顺其自然 |
| [05:07] | Goodbye. | 再见 |
| [05:10] | Later, Lainey! | 回见 兰妮 |
| [05:11] | Wow. You are the worst. | 哇 你真是逊到家了 |
| [05:13] | That’s not what Lainey thinks. | 兰妮不是这样想的 |
| [05:15] | She kissed me, remember? | 她亲了我 记得吗 |
| [05:17] | And now there’s so much electricity between us, | 现在我和她之间有好多的火花 |
| [05:20] | all hot and crackling. | 热到噼里啪啦 |
| [05:22] | Kind of like pop rocks. | 有点像跳跳糖 |
| [05:24] | Speaking of which, | 说到这个 |
| [05:26] | – remember how I saved your life? – No. | -还记得我救了你的命吗 -不 |
| [05:28] | According to the bushido code, you must repay me. | 根据武士道规则 你必须报答我 |
| [05:30] | Last night, I figured out what I want. | 昨晚 我想好了我要什么 |
| [05:34] | Get me the girl. | 帮我追女生 |
| [05:35] | – No! – Just one date! | -不 -就一次约会 |
| [05:37] | Talk to her! Bushido code! | 跟她说说 武士道规则 |
| [05:38] | Talking won’t help. | 说说不会有帮助 |
| [05:39] | Lainey doesn’t like anything about you. | 兰妮瞧不上你任何一点 |
| [05:41] | Bushido code! You must do this! | 武士道规则 你必须这么做 |
| [05:43] | Oh, my god. | 老天爷 |
| [05:44] | If I do this, will you stop saying “bushido code”? | 如果我这样做 你能不再说武士道规则吗 |
| [05:46] | According to bushido code, yes. | 根据武士道规则 可以 |
| [05:48] | Fine. I’ll tell her to go have some pizza with you. | 好吧 我让她和你一起吃披萨 |
| [05:50] | Yes! First step, pizza. | 太好了 第一步 披萨 |
| [05:53] | Second step, we express our love physically. | 第二步 我们通过身体来表达对彼此的爱 |
| [05:55] | Third step. | 第三步 |
| [05:59] | That is not the way of the samurai! | 这可不是武士道 |
| [06:01] | As Barry was laying down the laws of the bushido code, | 巴瑞拿着武士道规则发号施令时 |
| [06:04] | my dad was laying down some laws of his own. | 我爸也在交待他自己的规则 |
| [06:06] | Okay, now that she’s moved in your giant speakers | 现在她把你的超大号音箱 |
| [06:10] | and your king-size waterbed, | 和特大号水床都搬进来了 |
| [06:12] | it’s time to go over the rules of the house. | 是时候说说这家里的规矩了 |
| [06:15] | These are more like suggestions, nothing hard and fast. | 更像是建议 不是很严格的 |
| [06:18] | Rule number 1 — do not touch the thermostat. | 规则第一条 不准碰调温器 |
| [06:22] | Touch it? | 碰 |
| [06:23] | You’ve already taped it off like a crazy person. | 你已经像个疯子一样把它贴住了好吗 |
| [06:26] | Rule number 2 — what’s ours is yours. | 规则第二条 我们的就是你的 |
| [06:30] | Rule number 3 — ignore rule number 2. | 规则第三条 无视第二条 |
| [06:32] | What’s mine is mine. | 我的就是我的 |
| [06:34] | Rule 4 — no coming in after 10:00. | 规则第四条 10点后不准有访客 |
| [06:38] | 10:00 in the morning or 10:00 in the evening? | 早上10点还是晚上10点 |
| [06:40] | Why would anyone come in at 10:00 in the morning? | 为什么会有人在早上10点串门 |
| [06:43] | Why would anyone come in at 10:00 in the evening? | 为什么会有人在晚上10点串门 |
| [06:46] | Rule number 5 — | 规则第五条 |
| [06:47] | Mandatory hugs every time you walk through the door. | 每次你走过大门必须强制拥抱 |
| [06:51] | Rule 6 — no loud music, no parties. | 规则第六条 不准有喧闹音乐 不准开派对 |
| [06:55] | Are these written down somewhere? | 这些写下来了吗 |
| [06:56] | I-I’m kind of losing track. | 我有些记不得了 |
| [06:58] | Okay, rule 6 1/2 — we love you. | 规则6.5条 我们爱你 |
| [07:02] | That’s not even a rule! | 这根本不是规则 |
| [07:03] | Everyone, just relax. | 大家放轻松 |
| [07:06] | You’ve opened your home to me, | 你们打开家门欢迎我 |
| [07:08] | and I’m gonna respect your wishes. | 我会尊重你们的想法 |
| [07:10] | You see, honey? This is gonna be great. | 瞧 亲爱的 以后的日子会很棒的 |
| [07:13] | And with that, | 就这样 |
| [07:14] | we had a new family member under our roof. | 家里又多了一名新成员 |
| [07:16] | Fortunately, this one was a responsible adult | 幸运地是 这一位是有责任心的成年人 |
| [07:19] | who would never disobey my dad’s insane rules. | 永远不会违反我爸的疯狂规则 |
| [07:21] | Or not. | 我错了 |
| [07:24] | Max! It’s on max! | 最冷 开到了最冷 |
| [07:28] | He touched it! | 他碰了 |
| [07:29] | He touched the thermostat! | 他碰了调温器 |
| [07:30] | God only knows how much money we burned in cold air! | 天晓得为了冷空气我们烧了多少钱 |
| [07:33] | I’ll bake him some cookies and talk to him about it. | 我会给他烤饼干 跟他谈谈 |
| [07:36] | No cookies! Do you hear that loud music? | 不准烤饼干 你听到这刺耳的音乐了吗 |
| [07:38] | He’s breaking all of my rules! | 他违反了我所有的规则 |
| [07:40] | Here. This will take the edge off. | 给 这个会让你冷静下来 |
| [07:41] | Why are you bringing me a delicious martini right now? | 你为什么现在给我端一杯可口的马天尼 |
| [07:45] | Pops is schooling me in the art of mixology | 老爷子在教我调酒的艺术 |
| [07:47] | so I can bartend his parties. | 这样他开派对时我可以做酒保 |
| [07:48] | Unacceptable! All of this is unacceptable! | 不能接受 全部不能接受 |
| [07:51] | Get rid of this. | 倒掉 |
| [07:52] | He’s just testing our boundaries. | 他只是在试探我们的底线 |
| [07:54] | If we push him too hard, he’ll rebel more. | 压迫越大 反抗越大 |
| [07:56] | You’re talking about him like he’s one of our dumb kids, | 你把他说的好像是我们的傻孩子似的 |
| [07:59] | but he’s not! | 但他不是 |
| [08:00] | He’s worse! I can’t ground him! | 而且更糟糕 因为我不能把他禁足 |
| [08:02] | My dad had reached his boiling point. | 我爸达到了爆发点 |
| [08:04] | Unfortunately, he didn’t know pops was on a hot date. | 遗憾地是 他不知道老爷子约了佳人 |
| [08:07] | Albert! Turn it off! | 艾伯特 把音乐关掉 |
| [08:08] | Oh, my god! | 老天爷 |
| [08:14] | This is not my fault. | 这不是我的错 |
| [08:16] | I had a necktie hanging on the door. | 我在门上挂了领带 |
| [08:18] | When a necktie’s on the door, the pants are on the floor. | 门上挂领带 长裤落地板 |
| [08:21] | Everyone knows that. | 所有人都知道 |
| [08:23] | I can’t unsee what I just saw. | 我刚才看到的没办法当没看到 |
| [08:25] | Oh, my god. Oh, my god. | 我的妈 我的妈 |
| [08:26] | It was like a couple of hairless cats | 就像两只没毛的猫 |
| [08:29] | fighting in a pile of pizza dough. | 在一堆披萨面团上打架 |
| [08:31] | It was a very bad low angle. | 你的角度太低了才觉得丑 |
| [08:34] | That’s it, bevy. He’s going to Shady Willows. | 够了 贝弗 他要去绿荫杨柳 |
| [08:36] | Wait. Shady Willows is on the table? | 什么 我可以去绿荫杨柳吗 |
| [08:38] | Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. | 等等 等等 |
| [08:40] | Murray, we agreed not to mention that place. | 默里 我们说好了不提这个地方 |
| [08:42] | Why not? I love it there. | 为什么 我喜欢那里 |
| [08:44] | No! Family takes care of family, | 不 家人照顾家人 |
| [08:46] | and I am not gonna let a few tiny mishaps change that. | 我不会让小小的意外改变这点 |
| [08:53] | It appears I have popped another waterbed | 看来我在招待女性朋友时 |
| [08:57] | while entertaining a female friend. | 又弄破了一张水床 |
| [08:59] | You should go. | 你应该走了 |
| [09:00] | I should go. | 我应该走了 |
| [09:02] | All right. That’s the last of it. | 好了 最后一箱 |
| [09:07] | Let’s get you to Shady Willows. | 送你去绿荫杨柳 |
| [09:09] | And step on it so I don’t miss salsa class. | 赶紧的 这样我不会错过莎莎舞课 |
| [09:11] | That place is crawling with hot widows. | 那地方全是漂亮寡妇 |
| [09:15] | No! | 不 |
| [09:17] | He’s not leaving! You’ll have to run me over! | 他不能走 要想走除非撞死我 |
| [09:19] | Just nudge her a bit. She’ll move. | 推进一下 她会走开的 |
| [09:21] | I’m not gonna hit her with the car, Al. | 我不会用车撞她的 老艾 |
| [09:23] | Not hit. Nudge. | 不是撞 推进 |
| [09:25] | Shame on you. | 你真无耻 |
| [09:26] | Family takes care of family. | 家人照顾家人 |
| [09:29] | You keep saying that, but that’s what we’re doing. | 你一直这样说 我们正在这样做啊 |
| [09:33] | We’re taking your dad to a place he wants to be. | 我们送你爸爸去他想去的地方 |
| [09:35] | And then what? | 然后呢 |
| [09:36] | We teach our kids it’s okay to abandon us, | 教我们的孩子 抛弃我们是可以的 |
| [09:39] | to just pack up our bags and throw us out on an ice floe | 给我们打包 把我们扔到浮冰上 |
| [09:42] | and let us drift off into nothingness? | 让我们漂到虚无之地吗 |
| [09:44] | This sounds like you’re more concerned | 听起来你更关心的是 |
| [09:45] | with what this means for you. | 这对你来说意味着什么 |
| [09:47] | No, this has nothing to do with my greatest fear | 不 这事跟我最害怕老的时候一个人 |
| [09:49] | of being alone when I’m old. | 一点关系也没有 |
| [09:50] | This is about family. | 这次的重点是家人 |
| [09:52] | Oh! So that’s why you’re against this. | 原来如此 所以你反对 |
| [09:56] | You’re afraid that our stupid children | 你害怕咱们的蠢孩子们 |
| [09:58] | will put you into a home. | 会把你送进养老院 |
| [10:00] | Don’t spin this around on me. | 别把矛头对准我 |
| [10:02] | This is about my father, about my mantra — | 这次重点是我父亲 我的口头禅 |
| [10:05] | Family takes care of Beverly. | 家人照顾贝弗莉 |
| [10:07] | I mean family. You know what? | 我是说家人 |
| [10:08] | That was a bad slip, and I admit that. | 这是口误 我承认 |
| [10:11] | Put your seat belt on. I’m gonna nudge her. | 系上安全带 我要推进了 |
| [10:13] | Good for you. | 好样的 |
| [10:17] | Don’t you nudge me. | 你推进试试 |
| [10:18] | Oh, I’m nudging you! | 我就推进了 |
| [10:19] | Don’t you nudge me! | 不准推进 |
| [10:22] | You’ve been nudged! | 我就推进了 |
| [10:23] | This isn’t over, not by a long shot, mister! | 这事没完 绝不可能 先生 |
| [10:26] | I will… | 我会… |
| [10:32] | So! | 那么 |
| [10:33] | Saw you talking to Lainey this morning. | 看到你今早跟兰妮说话了 |
| [10:36] | We all set? | 搞定了吗 |
| [10:38] | What are you wearing? | 你戴的是什么 |
| [10:39] | It’s my fanciest Flavor Flav clock. | 这是我最时髦的风味弗拉福钟 |
| [10:42] | Or should I go digital? Show her I’m a modern man. | 还是我应该选数字化 让她看到我是摩登男士 |
| [10:44] | Put your clock back on your nightstand. | 把你的钟放回到床头柜上 |
| [10:46] | I talked to Lainey about this weekend. | 我跟兰妮说了周末的事 |
| [10:48] | It’s a no-go. | 她不同意 |
| [10:49] | Oh, it’s a scheduling issue? | 是没时间吗 |
| [10:50] | Tell her I’m available Monday through Friday | 告诉她我周一到周五都有空 |
| [10:53] | and every other weekend ever plus all other weekdays. | 隔周末加所有工作日都有空 |
| [10:55] | Yeah, no, that’s not the issue. | 不 不是因为这个 |
| [10:57] | She thinks you’re — | 她觉得你 |
| [10:59] | How do I put this gently? — gross. | 我怎么说的客气点呢 恶心 |
| [11:01] | What?! | 什么 |
| [11:02] | – Did you tell her I can bench 200? – Yep. | -你跟她说了我能举200磅吗 -是的 |
| [11:04] | – Did you tell her I can pop like three wheelies in a row? – I did. | -你跟她说了我能连着三次后轮滑吗 -说了 |
| [11:07] | Did you tell her I’m a self-taught dancer? | 你跟她说了我是自学成才的舞者吗 |
| [11:09] | She was not impressed. | 她没兴趣 |
| [11:10] | Did you tell her that I give no excuses | 你跟她说了我不接受任何借口 |
| [11:12] | – and take no prisoners? – No dice. | -不择手段吗 -不行 |
| [11:13] | – Did you tell her I’m silky smooth but cut from steel? – Totally. | -你跟她说了我肤滑如丝但骨如精钢吗 -当然 |
| [11:16] | Did you tell her I can kick as high as my head | 你跟她说了我可以把脚踢到头上 |
| [11:18] | and I used to own a python? | 我以前有条巨蟒吗 |
| [11:19] | I told her everything. No go. | 我全说了 不去 |
| [11:22] | I thought… I actually had a shot. | 我还以为我有机会呢 |
| [11:27] | You don’t. | 你没有 |
| [11:28] | I’m never gonna find a girl. | 我永远找不到女朋友了 |
| [11:30] | Seriously, I’m gonna be alone forever. | 真的 我永远只会是一个人 |
| [11:32] | It’s not fair! | 真不公平 |
| [11:33] | Stop being so dramatic. | 别这么夸张行吗 |
| [11:35] | Bushido code. | 武士道规则 |
| [11:36] | I’ve been rejected and shamed. | 我被拒绝了 被羞辱了 |
| [11:39] | Let these pop rocks and soda be the sword | 让跳跳糖和可乐成为刀剑 |
| [11:41] | that brings me an honorable samurai death. | 为我带来体面的武士之死 |
| [11:43] | I talked to the science teacher. It’s not real. | 我跟科学老师谈过了 根本没这回事 |
| [11:45] | Well, tell that to the chemical reaction happening in my mouth right now. | 跟现在发生在我嘴里的化学反应说去 |
| [11:49] | This is science. | 这是科学 |
| [11:50] | While Barry had given up on his future, | 巴瑞放弃未来时 |
| [11:52] | my mom was trying to secure hers. | 我妈正尽力保住她的 |
| [11:55] | Hey, snuggle bear. | 小熊抱抱宝宝 |
| [11:56] | Came to cheer you up. I know how upset you must be. | 我来给你打气 我知道你有多难过 |
| [12:00] | About what? | 为什么事 |
| [12:03] | Well, I don’t want you to think | 我不想你觉得 |
| [12:05] | in this family we abandon our parents. | 这个家会抛弃自己的父母 |
| [12:08] | Pops should be living here, | 老爷子应该住这里 |
| [12:09] | just like how I’m gonna be living with you. | 就像我会和你住一起一样 |
| [12:11] | Wait. What? | 等等 什么 |
| [12:13] | Since when are you living with me? | 什么时候开始你要和我一起住的 |
| [12:15] | What about Erica? | 爱丽卡呢 |
| [12:16] | Lovely girl, but deal with those mood swings? | 可爱的姑娘 但要应付那多变的脾气 |
| [12:18] | No, thank you. | 不必了 多谢 |
| [12:20] | Well, then go live with Barry. | 那就和巴瑞一起住 |
| [12:22] | Oh, sweetie, it’s more than likely we’ll be taking care of him. | 亲爱的 我们照顾他还差不多 |
| [12:25] | What? So now I’m taking care of you and Barry? | 什么 现在我要照顾你和巴瑞吗 |
| [12:28] | Just me. We’ll find a place for Barry. | 就我一个 我们会为巴瑞找到地方 |
| [12:31] | Maybe the merchant marine or a commune. | 送他去商船队或是公社 |
| [12:33] | Why does Barry get to live on a commune while I’m stuck with you? | 凭什么巴瑞去住公社 我却和你在一起 |
| [12:35] | Hon, not just me. | 亲爱的 不仅是我 |
| [12:37] | You’ll have your lovely wife | 你还有你可爱的妻子 |
| [12:38] | and four beautiful boys for support. | 以及四个漂亮的儿子支持你 |
| [12:40] | No way. I won’t have room for you, too. | 不可能 我没有房间给你 |
| [12:43] | Well, we’ll convert the garage | 我们将车库变成 |
| [12:44] | into a cozy, little in-law suite. | 舒服的婆婆小套房 |
| [12:46] | The garage is my space! | 车库是我的地盘 |
| [12:48] | That’s where I watch movies | 我在那里看电影 |
| [12:49] | and display my collectible figurines. | 陈列我的收藏品玩偶 |
| [12:51] | Oh, you can move all that down to the basement. | 你可以把这些搬到地下室啊 |
| [12:53] | So now I’m getting banished down to the basement? | 现在我被流放到地下室了吗 |
| [12:55] | I work my ass off, and this is all I get? | 我工作累得半死 就这种待遇吗 |
| [12:58] | Fine. Take the garage. | 好啦 车库归你 |
| [12:59] | I’ll just live down in the basement like a mole person. | 我就像鼹鼠一样生活在地下室好了 |
| [13:02] | Is that what you want? | 你想要这样吗 |
| [13:03] | Why can’t you just stay in a hotel and visit every once in a while? | 你为什么不住在旅馆 偶尔来看望一下 |
| [13:06] | A hotel? | 旅馆 |
| [13:07] | Where the maid can steal my jewelry | 服务员偷我的珠宝 |
| [13:09] | and someone can break in and clonk me on the head? | 贼跑进来敲我的头吗 |
| [13:11] | Fine! Don’t visit, then! | 好 那就别来看望了 |
| [13:13] | Oh, I know where this is coming from. | 我知道是怎么回事了 |
| [13:15] | Your wife. | 你妻子 |
| [13:16] | You said she was lovely! | 你说了她很可爱 |
| [13:18] | When it’s convenient for her. | 碍着她了就不可爱了 |
| [13:20] | Why are we even talking about this?! | 我们为什么要说这个 |
| [13:21] | I’m just a little boy! | 我只是一个小男孩 |
| [13:23] | Where are you going, young man? | 你去哪里 年轻人 |
| [13:24] | To stay with pops! You’re crazy. | 和老爷子住在一起 你是疯子 |
| [13:26] | While I headed down to Shady Willows, | 我去绿荫杨柳时 |
| [13:28] | my mom headed up to my treehouse | 我妈去了我的树屋 |
| [13:30] | to contemplate her future. | 沉思她的未来 |
| [13:36] | What are you doing up here? | 你在这上面做什么 |
| [13:39] | I needed to eat my feelings, | 我需要化悲痛为食量 |
| [13:41] | and this is where Adam hid his halloween candy from you. | 亚当把万圣节糖果藏在这里不被你发现 |
| [13:43] | Anything good left? | 还有好的吗 |
| [13:44] | Just these awful circus peanuts. | 就这些难吃的花生形状的棉花糖 |
| [13:46] | Yeah, nobody wants those. | 没人要这个 |
| [13:50] | Just like me. | 和我一样 |
| [13:52] | I’m the circus peanut of mothers. | 我是花生形状棉花糖一样的妈 |
| [13:55] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
| [13:56] | Adam won’t let me live with him when I’m old. | 我老了后 亚当不让我和他住一起 |
| [13:58] | God knows Erica won’t take me in. | 天知道 爱丽卡肯定不会要我 |
| [14:00] | So looks like this is where I’m gonna spend my golden years, | 看来我要在这里度过我的黄金岁月了 |
| [14:03] | right up here in this treehouse. | 就在这树屋里 |
| [14:05] | Well, what about Barry? | 那巴瑞呢 |
| [14:06] | Oh, well, you’ve solved that problem. | 好吧 问题被你解决了 |
| [14:08] | Please reserve me the master suite | 请在他云中的饶舌豪宅里 |
| [14:11] | in his rap mansion in the clouds. | 帮我预留主人套房 |
| [14:13] | Trust me, Bevy. Our kids will never abandon you. | 相信我 贝弗 我们的孩子永远不会抛弃你的 |
| [14:18] | How do you know? | 你怎么知道 |
| [14:19] | Look at how well you treat your own dad. | 看你对自己的父亲多好 |
| [14:21] | You think they don’t notice that? | 你觉得他们没看到吗 |
| [14:22] | Well, I guess I am pretty blatant with my love. | 我想我这人表达爱一点也不吝啬 |
| [14:26] | Of course you are. | 当然 |
| [14:27] | And it’s like you always say. Family takes care of family. | 就像你一直说的 家人照顾家人 |
| [14:32] | And speaking of which, | 说到这个 |
| [14:33] | I could use some help getting down from here. | 你得帮助我下去 |
| [14:38] | No. | 不 |
| [14:39] | My mom may have been kidding, | 我妈可能在开玩笑 |
| [14:40] | but Barry’s love for Lainey was no joke. | 但巴瑞对兰妮的爱可是来真的 |
| [14:43] | Lainey! | 兰妮 |
| [14:45] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [14:45] | Before you say anything, just hear me out. | 你开口前 先听我说 |
| [14:49] | I know Erica gave you the big sell on me, | 我知道爱丽卡把我吹得天花乱坠 |
| [14:52] | but I can’t just give up on us without a fight. | 但我是不会不战而退的 |
| [14:55] | What’s happening? | 怎么回事 |
| [14:56] | I’m-a tell you what’s happening. | 我来告诉你 |
| [14:57] | JTP, drop the beat. | JTP 节奏唱起来 |
| [15:00] | I’d do anything for a girl named Lainey | 为了兰妮 我愿两肋插刀 |
| [15:04] | I’ll punch a tiger, swim the Allegheny | 老虎都敢打 游过阿勒格尼也不在话下 |
| [15:06] | I know it’s creepy ’cause I’m her best friend’s brother | 我知道怪怪的 因为我是她最好朋友的弟弟 |
| [15:09] | but I love her, and we should be together | 但我爱她 我们应该在一起 |
| [15:11] | like Joanie loves Chachi, Tango loves Cash | 就像乔尼爱卡奇 坦戈爱卡什 |
| [15:14] | she the Turner to my Hooch | 她是特纳 我是福星 |
| [15:16] | I’ll be the bangers in your mash | 我是香肠配你这堆土豆泥 |
| [15:17] | – Oh, my god! Stop! – Don’t stop! | -老天 停下 -别停 |
| [15:19] | L-Y-N-E “l” to the “y” to the “n” to the “e” ? | |
| [15:22] | that spells Lainey, that’s a rap from big taste-y | 兰妮就是这么写的 大甜甜的饶舌就是这样唱的 |
| [15:26] | First of all, you spelled my name horribly wrong. | 首先 你把我的名字完全拼写错了 |
| [15:28] | And secondly, Erica never talked to me about you. | 其次 爱丽卡没跟我提过你 |
| [15:30] | What?! But… | 什么 但是 |
| [15:32] | She said that… | 她说 |
| [15:33] | Erica swore to me! | 爱丽卡跟我发誓了 |
| [15:35] | We had an agreement! | 我们有约定 |
| [15:36] | She talked me up, but you said no. | 她帮我说好话 你拒绝了 |
| [15:38] | Yeah, that didn’t happen. | 没这事 |
| [15:39] | In that moment, | 那一刻 |
| [15:40] | Barry knew the next thing he said had to be perfect. | 巴瑞知道他接下来说的话一定要完美 |
| [15:49] | Lies. | 骗人 |
| [15:50] | You have no honor whatsoever! | 你根本没有荣誉感 |
| [15:52] | I’m okay with that. | 我没意见 |
| [15:54] | Don’t you walk away from me. | 你别走 |
| [15:56] | I saved your life. | 我救了你的命 |
| [15:59] | And this is how you repay me? | 你就是这么报答我的吗 |
| [16:01] | You should be thanking me. | 你应该感谢我 |
| [16:02] | I was just trying to spare your feelings. | 我只是不想让你尴尬 |
| [16:04] | I didn’t expect you to do some love rap to Lainey | 我可没想到你会对兰妮唱关于特纳和福星的 |
| [16:06] | about Turner and Hooch. | 饶舌情歌 |
| [16:07] | They weren’t even a couple, dude. | 他们根本不是情侣 小弟 |
| [16:08] | One is a dog. | 其中一个是狗 |
| [16:09] | That dog took a bullet for Tom Hanks! | 那只狗为汤姆·汉克斯挡了子弹 |
| [16:12] | That’s love! | 这就是爱 |
| [16:14] | Aah! I’m in so much pain! | 我好痛啊 |
| [16:16] | Yeah, yeah. Your heart is broken. | 是的 你的心碎了 |
| [16:18] | Just stop with the dramatics. | 别这么夸张好吗 |
| [16:20] | No! | 不 |
| [16:21] | There’s something wrong with my insides! Aah! | 我身体里不对劲 |
| [16:23] | Oh, no. Oh, god, it’s happening! | 不好 老天 这是真的 |
| [16:26] | Pop rocks and cola! I’m Mikey! | 跳跳糖和可乐 我是米奇 |
| [16:28] | It’s not real! | 根本没这回事 |
| [16:30] | Oh, this is real. | 这是真的 |
| [16:31] | It just took longer to take me down | 只是在我体内发作慢 |
| [16:33] | ‘Cause my body’s in peak condition. | 因为我的身体正是巅峰状态 |
| [16:34] | Oh, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [16:35] | You did this to me. | 是你害我的 |
| [16:36] | This is on you! | 是你的错 |
| [16:38] | Barry. | 巴瑞 |
| [16:39] | Get up! | 起来 |
| [16:42] | Barry? | 巴瑞 |
| [16:43] | As Barry was rushed over to the E.R., | 巴瑞被送往急诊室时 |
| [16:45] | my mom rushed to fetch me | 我妈急着把我 |
| [16:46] | from pops’ new luxurious retirement community. | 从老爷子新的豪华退休社区带回去 |
| [16:49] | Hi, daddy. Can I come in? | 爸爸 我可以进来吗 |
| [16:52] | There’s no tie on the door. You’re good to go. | 门上没领带 你可以进来 |
| [16:58] | Wow. You did all this? | 这是你布置的吗 |
| [16:59] | Hey, you get it from somewhere. | 你可是遗传了好基因 |
| [17:02] | Are you sure you’ll be okay here? | 你确定你在这里会很好吗 |
| [17:05] | Bev, this is where I belong. | 贝弗 我属于这里 |
| [17:08] | Good food, good people. | 好吃的 好人 |
| [17:10] | And you wouldn’t believe how far a full head of hair | 而且你不会相信满头浓密秀发 |
| [17:13] | will get you in here with the ladies. | 会在这里让女士对你多倾心 |
| [17:16] | Well, I’m happy for you. | 我为你开心 |
| [17:19] | And, uh, thanks for looking after Adam. | 谢谢你照顾亚当 |
| [17:21] | A little time away was the best thing for him. | 离开一下 对他来说最好 |
| [17:25] | Ahh! Just took a good schvitz. Oh, and I ran into Irma. | 好好享受了下三温暖 我碰到了厄玛 |
| [17:30] | She invited us over to play some gin rummy. | 她请我们过去玩牌 |
| [17:32] | Uh, sweetie, I think it’s time to come home. | 亲爱的 是时候回家了 |
| [17:33] | No. I’m never coming home. | 不 我再也不回家了 |
| [17:35] | This place has a sauna, an early-bird dinner at 4:30, | 这里有桑拿浴 4点半的早起鸟儿晚餐 |
| [17:39] | and a seat in every shower. | 每个沐浴都有座位 |
| [17:41] | All my life, I have been washing my body | 我这辈子 都像个白痴一样 |
| [17:43] | standing up like a yutz. | 站着洗澡 |
| [17:46] | He’s only been here for two hours. | 他在这里才两小时 |
| [17:49] | Well, the kid knows a good thing when he sees it. | 这孩子看到好东西时很识货 |
| [17:56] | Wow. An obstructed bowel. | 肠部阻塞 |
| [17:58] | Didn’t see that coming. | 没想到 |
| [17:59] | Who knew eating 12 full-sized taffy bars | 谁会知道吃下12个大太妃糖条 |
| [18:02] | and drinking all that pink goop would block me up. | 喝下整瓶粉色黏糊的消化药会阻塞 |
| [18:04] | Most people. | 大多数人都知道 |
| [18:05] | So, after all of that, you saved my life for real. | 那么 发生了这么多事 你真的救了我的命 |
| [18:09] | I did, didn’t I? | 是的 对吗 |
| [18:10] | Stupid bushido code. | 愚蠢的武士道规则 |
| [18:11] | Now I’m forever in your debt. | 现在我永远欠你的了 |
| [18:13] | Actually, I thought today I’d be the one to do you a favor. | 事实上 今天我就帮你一个忙好了 |
| [18:16] | In the end, for Erica, | 到最后 对爱丽卡来说 |
| [18:18] | it wasn’t about the bushido code. | 武士道规则不重要 |
| [18:19] | It was about being a good big sister. | 重要的是做个好姐姐 |
| [18:33] | I’ve got to make a phone call. | 我去打个电话 |
| [18:40] | So, how’s your butt? | 你屁股怎么样了 |
| [18:41] | Horrible. | 恐怖 |
| [18:42] | But it’s not even the worst part of my week. | 但这不是我这周最惨的事 |
| [18:44] | Yeah. About that love rap — | 是的 那首饶舌情歌 |
| [18:46] | Let’s just forget it ever happened. | 咱们就当这事没发生过吧 |
| [18:48] | Know what? No. | 知道吗 不 |
| [18:50] | I said it, and I stand by it. | 我唱了 我坚持 |
| [18:53] | Oh. Well, your persistence is misguided and annoying, | 你的坚持错了 而且烦人 |
| [18:58] | but kind of cute. | 也有些可爱 |
| [19:01] | So, I heard this place has really good pizza. | 我听说这里的披萨非常不错 |
| [19:03] | You want to grab a slice? | 你要吃一块吗 |
| [19:04] | I can’t eat for another 24 hours… | 接下来24小时我不能吃东西 |
| [19:06] | but I can sit with you. | 但我可以坐在你旁边 |
| [19:12] | Hey. Kind of early for bedtime. | 现在睡觉有些早吧 |
| [19:15] | Well, eating dinner at 4:30 kind of threw me off. | 4点半吃晚餐打乱了我的作息时间 |
| [19:19] | Oh. Um, you want some tucks? | 要我帮你盖被子吗 |
| [19:21] | I’m too old for tucks. | 我已经大到不用了 |
| [19:24] | Listen. | 听着 |
| [19:25] | I’m sorry I freaked you out. | 抱歉我吓坏了你 |
| [19:27] | It’s not your job to take care of me. | 照顾我不是你的工作 |
| [19:29] | It’s my job to take care of you. | 照顾你是我的工作 |
| [19:31] | But what’s gonna happen when I grow up? | 那我长大后会怎么样 |
| [19:33] | Well, we have a long time to figure that out, shmoopie. | 我们有很长的时间来弄清楚 宝贝 |
| [19:36] | A long time. | 很长的时间 |
| [19:39] | Sure you don’t want a tuck? | 你确定不要帮你盖被子吗 |
| [19:42] | Maybe a little one. | 稍微盖一下吧 |
| [19:49] | Hey, mom? | 妈 |
| [19:51] | I’m sure when the time comes, | 我确信到那一天 |
| [19:53] | I’ll find some space for you in my house. | 我会在我家为你腾出地方的 |
| [19:55] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [19:56] | Yeah. I’ll always make room for you. | 是 我家永远有你的房间 |
| [19:59] | Sure, we had our differences, but my mom was right. | 没错 我们有分歧 但我妈是对的 |
| [20:01] | Family takes care of family, and that’s no urban legend. | 家人照顾家人 这不是传闻 |
| [20:05] | Got to admit, | 我得承认 |
| [20:06] | this is my first date in a hospital. | 这是我第一次在医院约会 |
| [20:08] | Wait. This is a date? | 慢着 这是约会吗 |
| [20:09] | Well, pity date. | 同情约会 |
| [20:12] | I’ll take it. | 我接受 |
| [20:13] | And without family, Barry’s worst day | 没有家人 巴瑞最惨的一天 |
| [20:15] | wouldn’t have become his best day. | 不会变成他最棒的一天 |
| [20:18] | There you are! | 你在这里 |
| [20:19] | And then his worst day. | 又变成最惨的一天 |
| [20:20] | My delicious little baby, | 我可口的小宝贝 |
| [20:22] | I am so sorry I wasn’t home when they called. | 真是对不起 他们打电话时我不在家 |
| [20:24] | Mom, please! | 妈 求你了 |
| [20:25] | Your poor, clogged bottom. | 你那可怜的阻塞的屁屁 |
| [20:28] | Nurse! Nurse! | 护士 护士 |
| [20:30] | 献给我的母亲 现在她依然想搬去和我一起住 | |
| [20:33] | Say something for the camera. | 对镜头说几句 |
| [20:35] | I love him. I love him. | 我爱他 我爱他 |
| [20:47] | Don’t worry. Mama’s got this. | 别担心 有妈妈在 |
| [20:48] | Arms up. Arms up. | 胳膊抬起来 |
| [20:51] | Dude! You just, like, saved my life! | 妈呀 你刚才救了我的命 |
| [20:54] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [20:55] | You don’t have to thank me. It’s my job. | 你不必谢我 这是我的工作 |
| [20:59] | But according to bushido code, you will have to repay me. | 但根据武士道规则 你必须报答我 |
| [21:03] | You know about bushido code? | 你知道武士道规则吗 |
| [21:05] | Oh, I watched “Shogun.” | 我看过《大将军》 |
| [21:07] | That Richard Chamberlain, meow. | 那个理查德·查伯兰 太帅了 |
| [21:10] | Fine. What do you want? | 好吧 你想怎样 |
| [21:12] | – I want snuggies. – Aw, come on! | -我要抱抱 -不是吧 |
| [21:14] | I want huggies and cuddlies and smoochies. | 我要抱抱 搂搂 亲亲 |
| [21:16] | – No! – I want them. | -不 -我要 |
| [21:18] | – No! – I want them. | -不 -我要 |
| [21:19] | I choose a warrior’s death instead! | 我选择勇士之死 |
| [21:21] | Put the taco back in my mouth! | 把玉米饼放回我嘴里 |
| [21:23] | Bushido code! You have no honor! | 武士道规则 要捍卫荣誉哦 |