| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Ah, the toy crazes of the ’80s. | 八十年代的玩具热潮啊 |
| [00:03] | G.I. Joe, laser tag, rubik’s cube, | 特种部队 激光枪战 |
| [00:06] | Transformers, care bears. | 变形金刚 妙妙熊 |
| [00:08] | But the mother of them all were the cabbage patch kids — | 但玩具界的老大绝对是椰菜娃娃 |
| [00:11] | Chubby-cheeked balls of cuteness | 你可以自己领养的 |
| [00:13] | You could adopt as your very own. | 胖脸颊小可爱 |
| [00:15] | And I got mine in a most unusual way. | 我的则是通过最不寻常的方式得到的 |
| [00:19] | In my hand, | 我手中 |
| [00:20] | I hold your final exam for health class — | 是健康课的期末考试 |
| [00:23] | The reality of parenting. | 父母体验 |
| [00:25] | Wow. How many of these do you own? | 你有多少个这样的娃娃 |
| [00:27] | You know, I’m not married, | 我没结婚 |
| [00:29] | And I’m severely allergic to cat and dog dander, | 我对猫狗的头皮屑严重过敏 |
| [00:31] | So I guess you could say these are like my children. | 我想你们可以说 这些就像我的孩子一样 |
| [00:36] | That’s a joke. I’m fine. | 只是玩笑 我很好 |
| [00:38] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [00:39] | So, for this assignment, you are going to pair up | 这次的作业 两人一组 |
| [00:41] | And you’re going to tend to the child as if it’s a real baby. | 要把这个娃娃当真正的孩子一样照顾 |
| [00:45] | And every 30 minutes, you’re gonna spin the wheel | 每30分钟 转一次转盘 |
| [00:47] | And do the assigned chore — feeding, burping, diapering. | 完成指定的工作 喂食 拍嗝 换尿布 |
| [00:49] | You get it — the things that married couples do. | 你们知道的 就是已婚夫妻会做的工作 |
| [00:51] | Or…so I’ve seen | 反正我看到 |
| [00:53] | From my three married younger sisters. | 我三个已婚的妹妹是这样做的 |
| [00:57] | Okay, partner up. | 好啦 配对吧 |
| [00:59] | Dana Isabelle Caldwell, | 戴娜·伊莎贝尔·考德威尔 |
| [01:01] | Will you be the mother of my cabbage? | 你愿意做我椰菜娃娃的妈妈吗 |
| [01:03] | I don’t know. I don’t want this to make things weird between us. | 我不知道 我不想我们之间怪怪的 |
| [01:05] | Trust me — a baby only makes things better. | 相信我 宝宝只会让我们关系更好 |
| [01:08] | It’s like the old saying — | 常言道 |
| [01:09] | “If your relationship sucks, a baby will fix it.” | 感情差 孩子凑 |
| [01:11] | Okay, so, maybe I was way off about that, | 好吧 也许我错得离谱 |
| [01:14] | But I did know that this project | 但我知道这次作业 |
| [01:15] | Was the perfect way for me to get closer to Dana. | 是与戴娜更亲近的完美方式 |
| [01:19] | Welcome to our tree home, my dear. | 欢迎来到我们的树屋 亲爱的 |
| [01:21] | I’ve already put down the baby and whipped us up some supper. | 我已经哄睡了宝宝 还准备了晚餐 |
| [01:24] | Smurf ravioli — my favorite. | 蓝精灵水饺 我的最爱 |
| [01:26] | Well, only the best for my girl Dana | 我的戴娜一定要享用最好的 |
| [01:29] | And our little angel, Ripley. | 还有我们的小天使 雷普莉 |
| [01:31] | Ripley? | 雷普莉 |
| [01:32] | It’s a classic girl’s name. | 这是很有品味的女孩名字 |
| [01:33] | Also happens to be | 而且恰好是 |
| [01:35] | Sigourney Weaver’s badass character in “Aliens.” | 《异形》中西格妮·韦弗扮演的强悍女主角的名字 |
| [01:37] | How about one that’ll make us both happy? | 不如取一个我们都喜欢的名字 |
| [01:40] | Leia. | 莉亚 |
| [01:41] | Leia DeLorean Goldberg! | 莉亚·德洛瑞·金伯格 |
| [01:44] | I love it! | 我太喜欢了 |
| [01:45] | Snuggle boo-boo! Dinner’s ready! | 我的抱抱小宝宝 晚餐好了 |
| [01:48] | What is all this? | 这是什么 |
| [01:49] | Health class. We got to care for a pretend baby. | 健康课作业 我们得照顾假宝宝 |
| [01:52] | Oh, I’m finally a grandma, huh? | 我终于做奶奶了 |
| [01:56] | Well, move over. Isn’t this fun? | 挪一下 这可真有意思 |
| [01:59] | Come on. Let me hold her. | 来 让我抱她 |
| [02:00] | Actually, um, we’re not supposed to get | 事实上 不能有人帮助我们 |
| [02:02] | Any outside help with Leia. | 照顾莉亚 |
| [02:04] | “Leia”? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. | 叫莉亚吗 不行不行 |
| [02:06] | That’s so boring and plain. | 好无趣好没意思 |
| [02:08] | What about “Myrna,” After your great-grandma? | 叫默娜怎么样 以你曾祖母命名 |
| [02:15] | Um, maybe. | 也许可以吧 |
| [02:16] | Yeah, I mean, I-it was a name in progress — | 反正名字还在商量中 |
| [02:19] | Was it? | 是吗 |
| [02:20] | Everyone agrees. Myrna it is. | 大家都同意了 那就叫默娜 |
| [02:22] | Okay, I get how this works. | 我知道这是怎么玩的 |
| [02:24] | We spin the thing and do the thingy. | 转转盘做事 |
| [02:26] | Baby’s got poo-poos. | 宝宝拉粑粑了 |
| [02:28] | Let me change her. | 让我为她换尿布 |
| [02:29] | Actually, we’re good. Thanks. | 不用帮忙 多谢了 |
| [02:38] | Well, uh, I’m gonna go check in on your father. | 我去看看你爸爸 |
| [02:40] | I’m sure he still needs me. | 我确信他还是需要我的 |
| [02:42] | As usual, | 和平时一样 |
| [02:43] | my smother had jammed herself into my life | 我那”爱你爱到你无语”老妈插手我的生活 |
| [02:45] | And made it real awkward real quick. | 很快令一切变得非常尴尬 |
| [02:46] | I had to do some epic damage control — and fast. | 我得做些伤害控制 而且要快 |
| [02:49] | How about a toast to the world’s greatest mom? | 不如敬全世界最伟大的妈妈一杯 |
| [02:53] | Somebody call me? | 有人叫我吗 |
| [02:55] | No? | 没有吗 |
| [02:58] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [03:16] | It was March 10th, 1980-something, | 那是一九八几年的3月10日 |
| [03:17] | And Barry was chilling with his best and only friends, | 巴瑞和他最好的也是仅有的朋友混在一起 |
| [03:20] | The Jenkintown posse — also known as the JTP. | 珍金镇武装队 又名JTP |
| [03:23] | All right, batter up. | 好了 准备击球 |
| [03:24] | I got, uh, an egg, a grapefruit, and a light bulb. | 我有鸡蛋 西柚 电灯泡 |
| [03:28] | Grapefruit! Let’s go, baby! Come on! Game on. | 西柚 来吧 快点 |
| [03:30] | Smash ball! Smash ball! | 击球 击球 |
| [03:32] | Smash ball! | 击球 |
| [03:35] | Dude, the citrus is burning my eyes! | 哥们 这橘子让我的眼睛好痛 |
| [03:37] | I can’t see! That’s awesome! | 我看不到了 太棒了 |
| [03:39] | Barry Goldberg, | 巴瑞·金伯格 |
| [03:40] | King of smash ball and king of the JTP! | 击球之王 JTP之王 |
| [03:43] | JTP Jtp! | |
| [03:46] | This was fun. See ya. | 真好玩 回见啦 |
| [03:48] | Wai– what? What? | 什么 |
| [03:49] | You just got here, man. | 你才刚来 哥们 |
| [03:50] | You said tonight was gonna be legendary. | 你说了今晚将是一个传奇 |
| [03:52] | Sorry, guys. | 抱歉了 各位 |
| [03:53] | I made plans with my special lady. | 我和女朋友有特殊的安排 |
| [03:55] | What happened to you, bro? | 你这是怎么啦 兄弟 |
| [03:56] | Since that girl came into your life, | 自从你的生活中有了女生 |
| [03:57] | It’s like we don’t even exist, man. | 我们就像不存在了一样 |
| [03:59] | Yeah, dude. It’s time you made a choice. | 是 哥们 是时候你做出选择了 |
| [04:01] | It’s either us | 要么选我们 |
| [04:02] | Or the super-hot, popular girl that you make out with. | 要么选和你亲热的超级正点大美女 |
| [04:05] | Her. 100% her. | 选她 百分百选她 |
| [04:12] | Lainey?! You’re here?! | 兰妮 你在这里 |
| [04:14] | I’ve been calling your house for the last two hours! | 过去两小时我一直打电话去你家找你 |
| [04:16] | We have to get ready for Anthony Balsamo’s party. | 我们得准备好去安东尼·巴萨莫的派对 |
| [04:19] | God, I’m so sorry, Erica. I totally forgot. | 真是对不起 爱丽卡 我完全忘了 |
| [04:22] | Me and Bar decided we were gonna stay in | 我和小巴决定留在家里 |
| [04:23] | And have a romantic evening together. | 共度浪漫夜晚 |
| [04:25] | I’ve been holding in a fart this whole time. | 我一直忍着没放屁 |
| [04:28] | Well, I can’t just go to the party by myself. | 我不能一个人去参加派对 |
| [04:31] | That’s pathetic. | 太可悲了 |
| [04:32] | It is pathetic. Invite her to watch with us. | 是很可悲 邀请她和我们一起看电视 |
| [04:34] | I’d rather not. I find she sucks. | 我不愿意 我觉得她够逊的 |
| [04:36] | I can hear you. And you suck. | 我可以听到 你才逊 |
| [04:39] | Lainey, next Friday we’re hanging out. No excuses. | 兰妮 下周五我们一起玩 不能找借口 |
| [04:42] | Oooh, my girl’s gonna be busy that night. | 那晚我女友会很忙 |
| [04:45] | Tickets to the heart concert?! | 红心乐团的演唱会门票 |
| [04:47] | No way! Lainey and I have been talking about going for months! | 不行 兰妮和我说了几个月要去 |
| [04:50] | Which is how I knew | 所以我知道 |
| [04:51] | It’d score me major points to get us tickets. | 如果我搞到票 我这男友会大大加分 |
| [04:53] | I can’t believe you pulled this off. | 我真不敢相信你搞到票了 |
| [04:56] | You are the best! | 你最棒了 |
| [04:57] | Oh, my god. What is that smell? | 我的天 这是什么味道 |
| [05:02] | Hey, guys? | 两位 |
| [05:03] | Things have been kind of weird with Dana. | 我和戴娜之间有些奇怪 |
| [05:05] | Thought I should ask you about it. | 我想我应该问问你 |
| [05:06] | Sure thing, kiddo. | 没问题 孩子 |
| [05:08] | Happy to help. | 乐意帮忙 |
| [05:09] | And I, also, am here. | 我也在这里 |
| [05:10] | Why is Dana super-pissed at me for siding with mom over her | 当涉及到养孩子的问题时 我支持妈妈 |
| [05:14] | When it comes to raising kids? | 为什么戴娜会非常生气 |
| [05:15] | You never side with your mother over your lady, you moron. | 你永远不能支持老妈不支持老婆 你这个白痴 |
| [05:19] | Pack up your toys and move to another town. | 打包你的玩具 搬去其它镇吧 |
| [05:22] | The life you’ve built here is over. | 你在这里的日子已经结束了 |
| [05:24] | But it’s like what mom always says — | 但妈妈一直说 |
| [05:25] | “Happy mom, happy life.” | 妈妈开心 日子舒心 |
| [05:27] | No! The phrase is “Happy wife, happy life.” | 不 正确说法是老婆开心 日子舒心 |
| [05:30] | It rhymes! | 押韵的 |
| [05:32] | I thought “Happy mom, happy life” was clunky! | 我就觉得”妈妈开心日子舒心”很勉强 |
| [05:35] | I’m such a putz! | 我真是笨蛋 |
| [05:37] | Ohh, it’s Dana. What do I tell her? | 戴娜来了 我怎么跟她说 |
| [05:39] | That she’s calling the shots in your relationship. | 告诉她 你们之间的事她说了算 |
| [05:42] | You hear me? Now, tell her, damn you! | 听到了吗 快告诉她 混小子 |
| [05:46] | It’s getting late, so we should feed Myrna. | 有些晚了 要给默娜喂食了 |
| [05:50] | Actually, I’ve been thinking. | 我想过了 |
| [05:52] | Let’s go with Leia — the name you want. | 还是叫莉亚吧 你喜欢的 |
| [05:54] | Really? What about your mom? | 是吗 那你妈妈呢 |
| [05:56] | Hey, this is your cabbage patch, | 这是你的椰菜娃娃 |
| [05:58] | And I completely and fully support | 在所有问题上 我都完全 |
| [06:00] | Your decisions on all matters. | 支持你的决定 |
| [06:03] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [06:03] | I mean, I totally appreciate your mom wanting to help, | 我很感谢你妈妈想帮忙 |
| [06:06] | But she needs to know it’s our project. | 但她要明白 这是我们的作业 |
| [06:08] | – Exactly. – So you’ll let her know? | -正是 -你会让她知道吗 |
| [06:10] | – Know what, now? – You know, to stay out of it. | -知道什么 -别再插手了 |
| [06:12] | Set some boundaries. | 设定界限 |
| [06:13] | Boundaries? | 界限 |
| [06:14] | Uh, you know my mom. That’s a big ask. | 你也了解我妈 这要求有些过 |
| [06:17] | I…guess I could talk to her. | 我想我可以和她谈谈 |
| [06:19] | You know what? Yeah. That’s perfect. | 知道吗 这主意太棒了 |
| [06:21] | She’s in the kitchen right now. | 她现在在厨房 |
| [06:23] | I not only took their advice, | 我不仅接受了他们的建议 |
| [06:25] | I hit it out of the park. | 而且还出色完成了任务 |
| [06:27] | Are you nuts? | 你疯了吗 |
| [06:28] | You never let your mother and your wife | 你永远不能让你老妈和老婆 |
| [06:30] | Hash things out with each other. | 在一起讨论问题 |
| [06:33] | You got to be the buffer. | 你得在中间调停 |
| [06:34] | Otherwise, it spirals into chaos. | 否则就是彗星撞地球 |
| [06:36] | Okay, you guys need to tell me this great advice | 你们应该在我胡说八道前 |
| [06:40] | Before I fudge the bed! | 告诉我这伟大的建议 |
| [06:42] | While I was running off to save my relationship, | 我跑去挽救我的感情时 |
| [06:44] | The jtp was still mourning the loss of Barry Goldberg. | JTP依然在为失去巴瑞·金伯格而哀伤 |
| [06:48] | Dudes, it’s Barry’s bananas hot sister. | 哥们 是巴瑞的美女姐姐 |
| [06:50] | Okay, be cool. Let the ladies’ man handle this. | 冷静 让花花公子来 |
| [06:56] | I’m panicking. Someone take over. | 我慌了 来人接话 |
| [06:59] | Greetings, m’lady. | 你好 女士 |
| [07:00] | Uh, what doth bring thou to our domain? | 是什么风把你刮到我们的地盘来了 |
| [07:03] | So, this is where you guys hang out all the time, huh? | 你们总是在这里玩吗 |
| [07:07] | What do you do here? | 你们在这里做什么 |
| [07:08] | Do you want to play smash ball with us? | 你想和我们玩击球吗 |
| [07:09] | I really don’t. | 不想 |
| [07:11] | Smash ball. Smash ball. | 击球 击球 |
| [07:13] | Smash ball! Smash ball! Smash ball! Smash ball! | 击球 击球 |
| [07:16] | Okay! Okay! Stop saying “Smash ball.” | 好啦 别再说”击球” |
| [07:18] | Fine. I’ll play your weird game. | 好的 我玩你们奇怪的游戏就是了 |
| [07:21] | Okay. In there. Not gonna touch you. | 在这里 不会碰到你的 |
| [07:22] | It’s over there. Okay. | 就在这里 |
| [07:23] | And then… lettuce. | 然后是生菜 |
| [07:25] | Got it. All right. | 可以了 |
| [07:26] | Um, okay. | 可以了 |
| [07:28] | Let’s go. Let’s go. | 开始开始 |
| [07:32] | And just like that, | 就这样 |
| [07:34] | Erica swung her way into the hearts of the jtp. | 爱丽卡把自己打进了JTP的核心 |
| [07:43] | Big E! | 大丽好棒 |
| [07:45] | Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [07:47] | So, you guys going to Anthony Balsamo’s party? | 你们想去参加安东尼·巴萨莫的派对吗 |
| [07:49] | – Hell yeah! – Par-tay! | -当然了 -派对 |
| [07:51] | Balsamo! | 巴萨莫 |
| [07:52] | So, you guys don’t know about it, then? | 你们不知道这事 |
| [07:53] | – No, what’s — where is that? – No, we don’t. | -在哪里 -我们不知道 |
| [07:55] | Balsamo. | 巴萨莫 |
| [07:56] | Well, I guess you guys can tag along — | 我想你们可以一起去 |
| [07:58] | If you don’t act weird | 但你们不能举止怪异 |
| [08:00] | And naked Rob doesn’t get naked. | 而且裸罗伯不能裸 |
| [08:02] | Dat’s cool. I only get naked around dudes. | 没问题 我只有在哥们面前才裸 |
| [08:07] | After a surprisingly fun night with Barry’s friends, | 很意外地和巴瑞的朋友度过了有趣的一晚后 |
| [08:10] | My sister formulated a plan | 我姐有了计划 |
| [08:12] | To reclaim her friend from Barry. | 把她的朋友从巴瑞手中抢回来 |
| [08:14] | – Yo, big E! – Over here! | -大丽 -这边 |
| [08:16] | Oh, dude, she’s coming over. | 哥们 她过来了 |
| [08:17] | What the hell is she doing? | 她搞什么鬼 |
| [08:19] | Looks like she joined the jtp. | 看来她加入了JTP |
| [08:21] | JTP Jtp! | |
| [08:22] | JTP Jtp! | |
| [08:23] | No. No way! | 不 不行 |
| [08:25] | You can’t say “Jtp” unless you’re in the jtp. | 你不能说JTP 除非你是JTP一员 |
| [08:29] | Which is why she said it. | 所以她可以说 |
| [08:31] | And you’re out, bro. | 你被开除了 哥们 |
| [08:33] | We got a new leader — | 我们有了新领导 |
| [08:34] | One who actually gets us into cool parties. | 她能让我们参加很酷的派对 |
| [08:36] | Wait — you took them to Anthony Balsamo’s party? | 你带他们去参加安东尼·巴萨莫的派对 |
| [08:38] | You were too busy running your hands over Barry’s lumpy melon. | 谁叫你忙着摸巴瑞的肥肚皮 |
| [08:41] | Nice burn, big E. | 说得好 大丽 |
| [08:42] | You can’t call her “Big e.” | 你不能叫她大丽 |
| [08:44] | That’s way too close to “Big tasteee.” | 和大甜甜太相似了 |
| [08:47] | It’ll cause marketplace confusion! | 这会引起市场混乱 |
| [08:48] | I’m sorry, Bar, but it looks like big E’s in charge now. | 抱歉 小巴 但现在大丽说了算 |
| [08:52] | Jtp out. | JTP走人 |
| [08:54] | Jtp out! | JTP走人 |
| [08:55] | Jtp out. | JTP走人 |
| [08:57] | Aw, sweetie. | 亲爱的 |
| [08:59] | You’re not allowed to say that anymore. | 你现在没资格这样说了 |
| [09:05] | I thought raising a fake baby with Dana would bring us together, | 我以为和戴娜一起养假孩子可以让我们更亲近 |
| [09:07] | but it was only pushing apart. | 但结果却让我们关系更差了 |
| [09:09] | Hey. You would not believe the day I’ve had. | 你不会相信我今天怎么过的 |
| [09:12] | Don’t care. Just take her. | 我不在乎 抱着她 |
| [09:13] | Whoa, whoa. What’s this? | 这算什么 |
| [09:15] | At least let me walk through the door. | 至少等我进了家门再说吧 |
| [09:17] | I’ve been here dealing with the baby all by myself. | 我一直一个人带孩子 |
| [09:19] | This assignment’s impossible. | 这次的作业真是不可理喻 |
| [09:20] | Where were you? | 你去了哪里 |
| [09:21] | Out mowing lawns. | 修理草坪 |
| [09:22] | You know — my job. | 知道吗 我的工作 |
| [09:24] | Nice try. I called mrs. Bales. | 骗不了我 我打电话给了贝尔斯太太 |
| [09:26] | That ended two hours ago. | 两小时前你就做完 |
| [09:27] | I went to the arcade | 我去了游戏厅 |
| [09:28] | to blow off steam with some buddies. | 和兄弟们一起乐乐出出闷气 |
| [09:30] | And why are you even checking up on me? | 你为什么要调查我的行踪 |
| [09:32] | I played one game and left. | 我玩了一局就走了 |
| [09:33] | One game? Please. | 一局 拜托 |
| [09:35] | I smell pizza on your breath. | 你的口气里有披萨味 |
| [09:36] | It’s not my fault. I didn’t even ask for this kid! | 这不是我的错 这孩子又不是我要的 |
| [09:40] | Okay. | 好啦 |
| [09:41] | This is super-weird. | 这太奇怪了 |
| [09:44] | Maybe we should just take a break from all of this | 也许我们应该休息一下 |
| [09:46] | And — and go to a movie or something. | 去看看电影什么的 |
| [09:48] | Just us — no baby. | 只有我们 不带孩子 |
| [09:49] | We can get a sitter. | 我们可以找保姆 |
| [09:51] | And so we did get a sitter — | 我们找到了保姆[坐着的人] |
| [09:53] | A man who had been sitting on his ass | 一个自我有记忆起 |
| [09:55] | For as long as I could remember. | 就一直坐着的人 |
| [09:56] | Unfortunately, my mom wasn’t one | 遗憾地是 我妈对于任何事 |
| [09:58] | To sit on the sidelines of any situation. | 都不会坐在一旁袖手旁观 |
| [10:01] | What’s that? | 那是什么 |
| [10:03] | What’s what? | 什么是什么 |
| [10:04] | The little foot sticking out. | 那只伸出来的小脚 |
| [10:05] | Just Adam’s baby. | 亚当的宝宝 |
| [10:06] | I’m using it for lumbar support. | 我用来垫腰 |
| [10:09] | Did they entrust the baby to you over me? | 他们把孩子交给你 却没交给我吗 |
| [10:15] | Over me? | 没交给我 |
| [10:22] | You do know none of this is real? | 你知道这都是假的吧 |
| [10:24] | Oh, it’s real. | 这是真的 |
| [10:25] | Don’t you get it? | 你不明白吗 |
| [10:26] | This is how Adam is gonna treat me | 等我真做了奶奶[bubbie是犹太人叫法] |
| [10:28] | when I really am a bubbie. | 亚当就会这样对我 |
| [10:30] | I’m gonna prove to him that I’m the best grandma ever. | 我要向他证明 我是世上最好的奶奶 |
| [10:34] | “Grandma,” “gam-gam,” “bubbie” — | 奶奶 祖母 犹太奶奶 |
| [10:36] | Didn’t matter what she went by. | 叫什么不重要 |
| [10:37] | My mom was determined to be the best. | 我妈决心做最棒的 |
| [10:40] | She changed the toy. She fed it. | 她给玩具换尿布 喂食 |
| [10:41] | She even took it to the park. | 甚至带它去公园 |
| [10:43] | Ohh! Your baby’s so cute. | 你的宝宝好可爱 |
| [10:45] | Aww. And yours is… | 你的… |
| [10:48] | – Oh, boy. – Thank you. | -老天 -谢谢 |
| [10:52] | Yep. | 没错 |
| [10:53] | My mom was on her way | 我妈在帮助我们 |
| [10:54] | to helping us get an “a” on this assignment… | 这次考试得A |
| [10:57] | Until a dog mistook the baby for a chew toy. | 直到一只狗错把宝宝当咀嚼玩具叼走了 |
| [11:03] | My baby. | 我的宝宝 |
| [11:04] | Somebody stole my baby! | 有人偷了我的宝宝 |
| [11:06] | Well, not real baby — fake baby. It’s a toy. | 不是真的宝宝 是假的 是玩具 |
| [11:09] | Somebody stole my toy! | 有人偷了我的玩具 |
| [11:10] | I’m gonna get attitude from my son’s pretend wife! | 我那假儿媳要给我脸色看了 |
| [11:14] | Can someone call the police? | 麻烦谁帮我报警好吗 |
| [11:16] | Or toys “r” us? | 或是玩具反斗城 |
| [11:18] | I don’t know anymore! | 我不知道了 |
| [11:19] | As my mom was realizing she had to figure out | 我妈意识到她必须想办法 |
| [11:22] | how to replace our little angel, | 找到我们小天使的替代品时 |
| [11:24] | Barry was learning just how replaceable he was. | 巴瑞意识到他是多么容易被替代 |
| [11:27] | No way. | 不可能 |
| [11:30] | “Brian’s song”?! | 《布里安之歌》 |
| [11:31] | That’s our secret guy-cry movie! | 这是我们的男生流泪秘密电影 |
| [11:33] | Beat it, Bar. This is just jtp. | 走开 小巴 只有JTP能看 |
| [11:35] | JTP Jtp. | |
| [11:37] | Get over here. | 过来 |
| [11:38] | Get over here. | 过来 |
| [11:39] | You can’t just use my friends as pawns in your sick game. | 你不能把我的朋友作为你变态游戏的棋子 |
| [11:43] | You can have your precious jtp back anytime you want. | 你想什么时候要回你的宝贝JTP都行 |
| [11:46] | Just stop hanging out with Lainey. | 别再和兰妮一起玩就行 |
| [11:47] | Your move. | 你自己决定 |
| [11:50] | But, unfortunately for Erica, the next move was not Barry’s. | 但对爱丽卡来说很不幸 接下来行动的不是巴瑞 |
| [11:53] | Gah! What are you — | 你做什么 |
| [11:55] | I came for a root beer, too. | 我也是来拿根汁汽水的 |
| [11:56] | It’s crazy how we had the same idea. | 我们居然想到一起了 难以置信 |
| [11:58] | It’s like… It’s like fate, right? | 这就像是命运 对吗 |
| [12:02] | Here, let me — | 让我来 |
| [12:14] | What? | 怎么啦 |
| [12:16] | We should probably get back to the movie. | 我们回去看电影吧 |
| [12:18] | Everyone’s probably wondering where we are. | 大家可能纳闷我们去了哪里 |
| [12:20] | We’ve been gone three minutes. | 我们才离开三分钟 |
| [12:23] | It feels like forever. | 感觉像一辈子 |
| [12:30] | Such a beautiful movie about friendship and football | 真是感人的电影 友谊 橄榄球 |
| [12:33] | and… | 还有 |
| [12:34] | I’ll get you a — | 我给你拿… |
| [12:41] | We both went for the — | 我们都去拿… |
| [12:43] | What are the odds? | 这几率有多少 |
| [12:45] | It’s crazy, right? | 难以置信对吗 |
| [12:47] | What’s happening? | 发生什么事了 |
| [12:48] | You tell me. | 你告诉我 |
| [12:51] | I’m just gonna go sit over here. | 我去坐在那边 |
| [12:56] | I’m sorry. Are — are you okay? | 对不起 你还好吗 |
| [13:00] | For the first time in a long time, | 很久以来第一次 |
| [13:02] | I think I’m gonna be just fine. | 我想我很好 |
| [13:08] | Um, guys, take a seat for me. | 各位 请坐下 |
| [13:12] | To be clear, we’re all just friends here, right? | 说清楚 我们只是朋友对吗 |
| [13:16] | – Just friends. – Amigos. – I love you. | -只是朋友 -朋友 -我爱你 |
| [13:19] | Okay, I’m just gonna leave my own house now. | 虽然这是我家 但我走人 |
| [13:21] | Across town, my mom was desperate | 在小镇另一边 我妈正拼命 |
| [13:23] | to save my grade and her reputation as a bubbie, | 挽救我的成绩以及她作为奶奶的声誉 |
| [13:25] | but cabbage patch kids were in such high demand | 但椰菜娃娃实在是供不应求 |
| [13:28] | that her only chance was to turn to the black market. | 她只能去黑市了 |
| [13:33] | You Rick? | 你是瑞克吗 |
| [13:34] | Shh! No names, all right? | 别叫名字 好吗 |
| [13:36] | Just be cool. | 冷静 |
| [13:37] | What do you need? | 你需要什么 |
| [13:38] | I got glo worm, I got voltron, | 我有虫虫宝 战神金刚 |
| [13:40] | I got koosa, I got my little pony. | 库萨系列娃娃 小马 |
| [13:42] | Oh. I also have the strongest heroine in the world. | 我还有世上最强的女英雄 |
| [13:45] | What?! | 什么 |
| [13:46] | She-ra, princess of power. | 希瑞 力量公主 |
| [13:49] | There’s no stronger heroine out there. | 没有比她更强的女英雄了 |
| [13:51] | I need a cabbage patch kid. | 我要一个椰菜娃娃 |
| [13:52] | Female, red yarny hair, blue eyes. | 女孩 红色毛线头发 蓝色眼睛 |
| [13:54] | You got expensive taste, girl. | 你的品味真不错啊 大妹子 |
| [13:57] | Cpks are sold out across the country. | 椰菜娃娃在全国都脱销了 |
| [14:00] | It’s gonna cost ya. | 你得出大价钱 |
| [14:03] | Yes. That’s what bubbie needs. | 对 奶奶就是要这个 |
| [14:04] | How much for that one? | 那个多少钱 |
| [14:06] | For a pretty lady like you, | 你这样的美女 |
| [14:07] | I suppose I could let one go for 3 large. | 我想给三大张我愿意卖 |
| [14:11] | $3,000?! | 3千块 |
| [14:14] | Is that… What “large” is? | 三大张是这个意思吗 |
| [14:16] | I meant $300. | 我意思是3百块 |
| [14:18] | Well, that’s still ridiculous. | 依然荒谬 |
| [14:19] | As my mom was trying | 我妈在尽力 |
| [14:20] | to negotiate the best possible price, | 讨价还价时 |
| [14:22] | we were about to pay the price | 我们马上要为 |
| [14:24] | for not getting a real babysitter. | 没找真正的保姆而付出代价 |
| [14:26] | Hey, dad, how’d it go? | 爸 怎么样 |
| [14:28] | Really, really bad. | 非常坏 |
| [14:31] | Mom — | 妈 |
| [14:32] | Shhh! Baby’s sleeping. | 安静 宝宝睡着了 |
| [14:34] | Just kidding. Her eyes are wide open all the time. | 开玩笑 她的眼睛一直睁得大大的 |
| [14:36] | But don’t worry. We had a great day. | 但别担心 我们今天很开心 |
| [14:38] | And I did everything the spinner said. | 我做了转盘上的一切工作 |
| [14:40] | I’d say I proved I’m an excellent bubbie. | 我证明了我是一个非常优秀的奶奶 |
| [14:43] | Excellent how? Adam, look at it. | 怎么优秀了 亚当你看 |
| [14:45] | Oh! Balls! | 该死 |
| [14:47] | – This is a fake. – What did you do, mom? | -这是假的 -你做了什么 妈 |
| [14:49] | Okay, there are some ugly accusations flying about, | 你们居然对我作出如此严厉的指控 |
| [14:52] | and if that’s not Myrna, | 如果这不是默娜 |
| [14:53] | then I have failed as a grandmother. | 那我这个奶奶就做得太失败了 |
| [14:57] | Read the label. | 看标签 |
| [14:58] | “Lettuce crop child.” | 生菜小孩 |
| [15:01] | That is unfortunate. | 太不幸了 |
| [15:03] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
| [15:04] | You two should just finish this project together. | 你俩应该一起完成这次作业 |
| [15:08] | Wait! Don’t go! I can’t be a single dad! | 等等 别走 我不能做单亲爸爸 |
| [15:11] | Oh, you’ll never be single as long as you have me, schmoopie. | 只要有我你就不会单身 宝贝 |
| [15:24] | Geoff, what are you doing?! | 杰夫 你做什么 |
| [15:26] | It’s from “Say anything…” | 这是电影《情到深处》里的 |
| [15:27] | That’s how your dorky little brother | 你那呆子小弟就是这样 |
| [15:28] | got a hot girl way out of his league. | 追到他根本配不上的女朋友的 |
| [15:30] | That’s not even the right song! | 根本不是这首歌 |
| [15:32] | To be honest, I never saw the movie. | 说实话 我没看过这部电影 |
| [15:34] | Stop “say anything…”-ing me and go home. | 别再玩电影这套 回家去 |
| [15:36] | Erica Goldberg, leader of the jtp, | 爱丽卡·金伯格 JTP的领袖 |
| [15:40] | I proclaim my love — | 我宣布我的爱… |
| [15:41] | What the hell, geoff?! | 搞什么 杰夫 |
| [15:43] | Get lost, pal! I called her first! | 快走 哥们 我先说了她是我的 |
| [15:44] | Uh, no. No one called me. I’m not callable. | 不 没人可以这样 我不是谁先说归谁 |
| [15:48] | Erica Goldberg! | 爱丽卡·金伯格 |
| [15:50] | Listen to this sweet song and know my heart is — | 听这首甜美的歌曲 知道我的心… |
| [15:53] | Dude, you took my boombox? | 哥们 你拿了我的录音机 |
| [15:54] | Relax. I just needed it for tonight. | 放轻松 我只是今晚要用 |
| [15:56] | Yeah, well, so did I! | 我也要用啊 |
| [15:57] | I had to borrow my uncle’s cheap-ass radio, | 我只能找叔叔借他的烂收音机 |
| [15:59] | and it’s stuck on tejano music. | 卡在了墨西哥音乐频道了 |
| [16:00] | Okay, both of you shut up, because she’s mine! | 你们两个闭嘴 她是我的 |
| [16:03] | Stop it! | 住手 |
| [16:03] | That’s not true! She’s mine! | 不是的 她是我的 |
| [16:05] | That’s not true! | 不是的 |
| [16:06] | No! Stop it! | 不 住手 |
| [16:07] | None of you will win me! | 你们没有人可以追到我 |
| [16:09] | You have to — | 你们得… |
| [16:09] | Oh, my god! Naked rob is naked under that coat! | 老天 裸罗伯里面什么也没穿 |
| [16:12] | I wanted you to be the first girl to see me naked! | 我要你做第一个看到我裸体的女生 |
| [16:17] | Well, well. | 瞧瞧 |
| [16:18] | Looks like the worm is on the other foot. | 看来某人害人反害己啊 |
| [16:20] | Help me! Please make it stop! | 帮我 拜托让这一切停止 |
| [16:22] | Messing with those poor goobers to break us up is so not cool. | 利用那些可怜的笨蛋让我们分开真是太不厚道了 |
| [16:26] | What was I supposed to do? | 我该怎么做 |
| [16:28] | I get it. You two make each other happy. | 我知道 你们在一起很开心 |
| [16:30] | But I didn’t know | 但我不知道 |
| [16:31] | that meant I’d lose you and be left all alone. | 这意味着我会失去你 只剩一个人 |
| [16:41] | Seriously? | 没开玩笑吗 |
| [16:43] | Does this look like a cabbage patch kid to you? | 你们觉得这是椰菜娃娃吗 |
| [16:45] | Okay, this is a cabbage patch kid. | 这才是椰菜娃娃 |
| [16:49] | This looks like something in a horror movie | 这个像是恐怖电影里 |
| [16:52] | where the doll comes alive and terrorizes a lakeside town. | 活过来的娃娃 恐吓着湖边小镇 |
| [16:55] | Look, it’s not Dana’s fault. | 这不是戴娜的错 |
| [16:57] | Please don’t fail her. Fail me. | 请别给她不及格 给我不及格吧 |
| [16:59] | No, it’s my fault. | 不 这是我的错 |
| [17:01] | If you’re gonna fail anyone, fail me. | 要给不及格 就给我 |
| [17:03] | I can’t…fail you, Mrs. Goldberg. You’re an adult. | 我不能给你不及格 金伯格太太 你是成年人 |
| [17:07] | Also, why are you here? | 而且 你为什么在这里 |
| [17:09] | Yeah, Adam. Why is she here? | 亚当 她为什么在这里 |
| [17:10] | I’m just trying to help, like any good bubbie would. | 我只是想帮忙 任何好奶奶都会这样做 |
| [17:13] | A good bubbie doesn’t lose her grandchild. | 好奶奶不会弄丢孙子 |
| [17:14] | I heard that. Bubbies hear everything. | 我听到了 奶奶什么都能听到 |
| [17:17] | Enough! | 够了 |
| [17:19] | Mom, I know you mean well, | 妈 我知道你是好意 |
| [17:21] | but all you’ve done is screw things up for me and Dana. | 但你做的一切 都在破坏我和戴娜的关系 |
| [17:24] | Look, I don’t know when I’ll have a family, | 我不知道我什么时候会成家 |
| [17:26] | and I don’t know who it’ll be with. | 也不知道会和谁在一起 |
| [17:28] | I-I-it could be Dana. It could be Molly Ringwald. | 可能是戴娜 也可能是莫利·林沃德[演员] |
| [17:31] | All I know is that when I do get married, | 我只知道 我结婚时 |
| [17:34] | you’re gonna need to butt out. | 你不能再插手我的事 |
| [17:37] | Okay, but I — | 好的 但我 |
| [17:38] | No “buts” — except for yours butting out. | 没有但是 只有你别再插手我的事 |
| [17:45] | Thanks for coming. | 感谢前来 |
| [17:46] | I’m sure you’re all wondering why I brought you here. | 我想你们都想知道为什么叫你们来 |
| [17:49] | You’re gonna choose which one of us you’ll take as your lover. | 你会选择我们其中一个做你的爱人 |
| [17:51] | Ew! God, no! | 老天 才不是 |
| [17:53] | I’m doing the complete opposite of that. | 我要做的事完全相反 |
| [17:55] | I’m resigning as leader of the jtp. | 我要辞去JTP领袖一职 |
| [17:57] | JTP Jtp! | |
| [17:58] | Did you even hear what I said? | 你们听到我的话了吗 |
| [17:59] | I’m out! No more jtp! | 我不玩了 没有JTP了 |
| [18:02] | JTP Jtp! | |
| [18:03] | God! | 我的天 |
| [18:03] | Allow me. | 让我来 |
| [18:05] | Here’s the deal, fellas. | 是这样的 哥们 |
| [18:06] | You’re all so insanely awesome | 你们都太优秀了 |
| [18:09] | that Erica loves you all equally, okay? | 爱丽卡对你们的喜爱一样多 |
| [18:11] | For her to choose one of you | 要她选择其中一个 |
| [18:13] | would literally break her brain in half, | 会让她的大脑分成两半 |
| [18:16] | sending her into a coma forever. | 让她永远昏迷 |
| [18:18] | Oh. That makes sense. | 有道理 |
| [18:20] | Her only real option is to step down | 她唯一能做的就是辞职 |
| [18:23] | so I can resume my role as leader and god of the jtp. | 这样我能重新做JTP的领袖与上帝 |
| [18:26] | JTP JTP Jtp. Jtp. | |
| [18:28] | Here. | 给 |
| [18:30] | Your heart tickets? Seriously? | 红心乐团演唱会门票 真的吗 |
| [18:32] | Think I’m gonna hang with my boys that night. | 我那晚和兄弟们一起玩 |
| [18:35] | I suggest you hang with your girl. | 我建议你和你姐妹一起 |
| [18:38] | – Want to? – Yes! | -想吗 -想 |
| [18:44] | It was one of those major life lessons | 这样的人生重要课程 |
| [18:46] | Barry and Erica had to learn the hard way. | 巴瑞和爱丽卡是通过犯错学到的 |
| [18:49] | Sometimes, you’ll find | 有时候 你会找到 |
| [18:50] | that special someone who changes everything, | 改变一切的特别的人 |
| [18:53] | but having your best friends there to cheer you on | 但有最好的朋友在身边加油 |
| [18:55] | is what the game is all about. | 才是最重要的 |
| [19:04] | Mr. Goldberg, a moment please. | 金伯格先生 请等等 |
| [19:07] | – I’ve changed my mind on your grade. – Really? | -你的成绩 我改主意了 -真的吗 |
| [19:09] | You know, the point of the project | 这次作业的真正意义 |
| [19:10] | was to learn what it’s like to be a real parent. | 是了解真正做父母是什么样子 |
| [19:12] | Changing diapers — oh, that’s easy. | 换尿布很简单 |
| [19:15] | Protecting your lady from her nightmare in-laws? | 但在噩梦般的婆婆手下保护自己的老婆 |
| [19:18] | Whew. That’s an “a.” | 绝对是A的成绩 |
| [19:24] | Dana. | 戴娜 |
| [19:27] | What’s all this? | 怎么回事 |
| [19:29] | A thank-you for standing up for me… | 谢谢你支持我 |
| [19:32] | And an apology for how weird things got. | 还有为事情变得奇怪道歉 |
| [19:34] | It got quite weird. | 的确很奇怪 |
| [19:36] | But I give you my word — | 但我向你保证 |
| [19:38] | From now on, I’m gonna make sure | 从现在开始 我会确保 |
| [19:39] | my mom stays as far away from us as possible. | 我妈一定尽可能地离我们远远的 |
| [19:42] | Actually, your mom’s not so bad. | 其实你妈妈也没那么坏 |
| [19:45] | She’s the one who invited me over | 是她邀请我过来的 |
| [19:47] | and helped me with all this. | 还帮我布置 |
| [19:49] | In the end, | 最后 |
| [19:50] | my mom stopped worrying about being the best bubbie | 我妈不再为做最棒的奶奶而忧心 |
| [19:52] | and just focused on being my awesome mom. | 只是专心做我的好妈妈 |
| [19:58] | Oh, god, Mur. | 老天 老默 |
| [19:59] | Butting out is so hard. | 置身事外太难了 |
| [20:02] | Yeah, but look at him. He’s having so much fun. | 但看他 他好开心 |
| [20:04] | Doesn’t that make you happy? | 这不让你开心吗 |
| [20:07] | Damn it, it does. | 见鬼 我很开心 |
| [20:10] | That’s good for me. | 对我有好处 |
| [20:11] | Happy wife, happy life. | 老婆开心 日子舒心 |
| [20:19] | That’s the thing about being a parent — | 为人父母就是这样 |
| [20:22] | It’s tough, | 不容易 |
| [20:22] | and it doesn’t come with a spinner and instructions. | 没有转盘和说明书 |
| [20:26] | You learn as you go. | 你只能一边做一边学 |
| [20:28] | But seeing the smile on my face that night | 但那晚看到我脸上的笑容 |
| [20:30] | gave my mom a new saying — | 让我妈妈有了新的口头禅 |
| [20:32] | “Happy kids, happy life.” | 孩子开心 日子舒心 |
| [20:42] | Ahh. Back for more? | 还有需要吗 |
| [20:45] | I came to return this shoddy knock-off. | 我是来退这个假冒货的 |
| [20:48] | You bought a bootleg toy out of a trunk. | 你从后备箱买了非法销售的玩具 |
| [20:50] | All sales are final. | 出门不退 |
| [20:52] | Well, at least let me trade it for this. | 至少让我换这个 |
| [21:03] | Wow, it’s crazy how two people can reach into a trunk | 两个人就这样伸手进后备箱 |
| [21:07] | and their fingers just… Kind of meet, you know? | 手指碰在一起 多难以置信啊 |
| [21:12] | I’m gonna take this as a lesson | 我就把这次当教训了 |
| [21:13] | never to buy toys from a man’s trunk behind a warehouse. | 永远别在仓库后面从男人的后备箱里买玩具 |
| [21:18] | I also sell a lifetime of devotion and tenderness. | 我还出售一生的奉献与温柔 |