时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:00] | Back in the ’80s, the mustache was king. | 八十年代 胡须就是王道 |
[00:02] | Nothing said “I’m a man” Like a bristly patch of lip hair. | 没什么比唇上一撮毛更能说明”我是男人” |
[00:05] | But the manliest mustache of all | 但最有男人味的胡须 |
[00:07] | was Magnum, P.I. Himself, Tom Selleck… | 就是私家侦探马格南的 扮演者汤姆·塞立克 |
[00:09] | Next to my dad’s, that is. | 也就是说 仅次于我爸的 |
[00:11] | Look at Magnum go! | 瞧马格南 |
[00:14] | Such power and grace. | 好有力量好优雅 |
[00:16] | Like a mustachioed gazelle in a hawaiian shirt. | 就像穿着夏威夷衬衫的大胡子小羚羊 |
[00:19] | He got the idea for the ‘stache | 他留胡子是因为 |
[00:21] | from his new best friend, Bill Lewis, | 新交的最好的朋友 比尔·路易斯 |
[00:23] | And it bonded them like we’d never seen before. | 胡须令他们从未有过的亲近 |
[00:25] | You know, I used to think his was a lip wig, | 我以前觉得他的胡须是假的 |
[00:28] | But he swims with it. | 但他游泳了 |
[00:29] | That’s the real deal. | 这可是真的 |
[00:30] | You’re looking pretty bushy there, too, Mur-man. | 你的胡子也很浓密 老默 |
[00:32] | Thick and manly yourself, Billy-boy. | 你的也很浓密很有男人味 比尔 |
[00:34] | As much as my dad loved his new mustache, my mom hated it. | 我爸很爱自己的新胡须 我妈则很讨厌 |
[00:38] | He looks like a criminal | 他像个罪犯 |
[00:39] | Or the tenor in a damn barbershop quartet. | 或是理发店四重唱的男高音 |
[00:42] | Don’t go around saying | 别到处说 |
[00:43] | Your husband’s in a barbershop quartet. | 你丈夫是理发店四重唱的 |
[00:45] | That is the lowest form of musical entertainment. | 那是音乐娱乐中的最差形式 |
[00:47] | Just use an instrument, damn it. | 运用下乐器好吗 |
[00:49] | You know, the only reason he grew that mug rug | 他留胡须的唯一原因 |
[00:51] | Is ’cause Bill pushed him into it. | 是因为比尔让他留的 |
[00:53] | I’m telling you, the guy’s a bad influence. | 我告诉你 那家伙对他有坏影响 |
[00:55] | So, it’s not the ferkokte mustache you hate, it’s Bill. | 原来你讨厌的不是胡须 而是比尔 |
[00:58] | Stop. I like Bill all right. | 别这么说 我觉得比尔还行 |
[01:00] | Well, except for the way | 除了他穿衣 |
[01:01] | He dresses, drives, walks, talks, eats, thinks, laughs, | 开车走路说话吃饭思考笑的样子 |
[01:03] | And tilts his stupid bald head to the side when he’s confused. | 还有他困惑时把他愚蠢的秃头脑袋歪向一边 |
[01:07] | Yep, you could say my mother wasn’t the biggest fan of my dad’s bestie, | 可以说我妈不太喜欢我爸最好的朋友 |
[01:10] | who was hanging around more and more. | 而后者和他们在一起的时候越来越多 |
[01:12] | Ooh, Charlie’s Angels. | 霹雳娇娃 |
[01:14] | Who are they chasing? Where’s Bosley? | 她们在追谁 波丝丽在哪里 |
[01:17] | Why is she on a boat? | 她为什么在船上 |
[01:18] | Who’s she kissing? | 她在亲谁 |
[01:19] | Are those pirates? | 那些是海盗吗 |
[01:21] | These are the opening credits, Bill. | 这只是片头 比尔 |
[01:23] | And while my mom usually called the shots, | 以前总是我妈说了算 |
[01:25] | Lately, it seemed that Bill was in charge. | 最近 好像比尔说了算 |
[01:27] | A mustache comb! | 胡子梳子 |
[01:29] | And all this time, I’ve been using a brush with a handle like a jackass. | 一直以来 我就像笨蛋一样用刷子 |
[01:33] | Give it a whirl, Mur. Take it down to whisker town. | 试下 老默 让梳子在胡须镇转转 |
[01:37] | Are you kidding me with this? | 你是在开玩笑吗 |
[01:39] | We should be talking about shaving, not grooming. | 我们应该谈论刮胡子 而不是梳理 |
[01:42] | Come on, lady, | 拜托 女士 |
[01:43] | everyone knows a man’s face is his castle. | 大家都知道男人的脸面是他的城堡 |
[01:45] | His castle, you say? | 是城堡吗 |
[01:46] | Oh, yeah. And the mustache is the moat of the mouth. | 对 胡须是嘴巴的护城河 |
[01:49] | Without it, the fortress falls. | 没有胡须 堡垒就完了 |
[01:50] | Who knew? I didn’t. | 谁知道啊 我不知道 |
[01:52] | In fact, the mustache is named after the earl of mustache. | 事实上 胡子是以胡子伯爵命名的 |
[01:55] | What did he do? | 他做了什么 |
[01:56] | Well, he was from mustache, france, | 他是法国胡子镇人 |
[01:57] | And one day he was like, | 然后有一天他说 |
[01:58] | “I’m gonna grow some hair right here.” | 我要在这里留毛发 |
[02:00] | You can not argue with history, Bevy. | 你争不过历史 贝弗 |
[02:03] | Honey, please, can you just shave it off for me? | 亲爱的 求你了 能为我刮了吗 |
[02:07] | Luckily, my mom could always win | 幸运的是 我妈总是能用她 |
[02:09] | Using her creepy 12-blink puppy dog stare… | 诡异的12次眨眼扮小狗卖萌获胜 |
[02:12] | This is the new me. | 这是新的我 |
[02:13] | …Until now. | 直到现在 |
[02:14] | Oh, yeah. Getting in all the nooks and crannies. | 所有地方都梳到了 |
[02:15] | Fantastic. | 太棒了 |
[02:16] | – Get it, Mur. – I’m getting it. | -感受下 老默 -正在感受 |
[02:17] | – You go on and get it. – Oh, I’m getting it but good. | -继续感受 -正感受着呢 |
[02:18] | – Get it, doggy. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. | -感受吧 狗兄 -正感受 |
[02:20] | Is barking a mustache thing? | 留胡须还得学狗叫吗 |
[02:22] | Oh, yeah. Go on, doggy. | 是啊 继续 狗兄 |
[02:23] | I’m going! | 我正感受 |
[02:39] | It was October 21, 1980-something, | 那是一九八几年的10月21日 |
[02:42] | And my brother was doing what he did best — | 我哥正在做他最拿手的 |
[02:44] | Being way too cocky. | 超级自大 |
[02:46] | Uh, you sure this is a good idea, man? | 你确定这是个好主意吗 |
[02:48] | Seems like the ramp points directly at the side of the van, bro. | 斜坡好像正对着货车 伙计 |
[02:51] | Honestly, my concern is I jump too high and too far. | 说实话 我担心我跳得太高太远 |
[02:55] | Maybe we should put a mattress back there for safety. | 也许应该为了安全放个床垫 |
[02:57] | JTP Jtp! | |
[02:58] | JTP Jtp. | |
[02:59] | Oh, cool. | 酷 |
[03:00] | Barry’s doing that sweet trick | 巴瑞又在玩那个花招 |
[03:02] | Where he damages his head again. | 他会再次摔坏脑袋 |
[03:03] | Well, hello, Lainey. | 你好 兰妮 |
[03:05] | This is all for you, girl. | 这是为了你 美女 |
[03:06] | Time to put myself in serious danger. | 是时候让我置身于极度危险中了 |
[03:08] | Hot, right? | 很性感吧 |
[03:09] | Barry, I told you a million times, | 巴瑞 我跟你说过无数遍了 |
[03:11] | Jumping stuff does not impress me. | 跳东西不能取悦我 |
[03:12] | For all of my brother’s ridiculous over-confidence, | 我哥有着可笑的过度自信 |
[03:15] | There was one person who could make him crumble | 但有一个人能令他崩溃成 |
[03:17] | Into an insecure mess — his girlfriend, Lainey Lewis. | 没有安全感的脓包 这个人就是他女友 兰妮 |
[03:20] | I’m sorry! I’ll never jump stuff again. | 对不起 我再也不会跳东西了 |
[03:22] | See? No more bike. | 瞧 不再骑单车了 |
[03:23] | Okay, so now I’m the lame-ass ball-and-chain | 现在我成为差劲的女友 |
[03:24] | Who says no to your passions? | 不允许你有热情吗 |
[03:26] | So, you do want me to jump stuff? | 这么说你想让我跳东西吗 |
[03:28] | I don’t care, okay? Just do what you want. | 我不在乎 你想干嘛干嘛 |
[03:29] | I want you to not be mad at me. | 我想你不要生我的气 |
[03:31] | I’m not mad at you. | 我没生你的气 |
[03:32] | Well, your face and your words are clearly mad. | 你的表情和说话明显生气了 |
[03:34] | Oh, my god. | 我的天 |
[03:35] | Tell me in words I understand. | 用我能明白的话告诉我 |
[03:36] | What do I do or feel or think? | 我要怎么做怎么想怎么感受 |
[03:38] | I think you need to get a grip. | 我想你需要控制下自己 |
[03:40] | Better yet, | 你最好是 |
[03:41] | get a girl that’s not miles out of your league. | 找个没有比你优秀太多的女生 |
[03:43] | Hey, Erica! Look what I can do! | 爱丽卡 看我能做什么 |
[03:50] | Is she looking? | 她在看吗 |
[03:51] | Erica, I did it! | 爱丽卡 我做到了 |
[03:53] | My god. What is Barry’s deal? | 我的天 巴瑞是怎么回事 |
[03:54] | It’s like he gets more needy and insecure every day. | 好像他一天比一天更黏人更不自信 |
[03:56] | I live with him. It’s constant. | 我和他住一起 他一直这样 |
[03:58] | God, I wish there was some way to snap him out of it. | 老天 真希望有人让他清醒 |
[04:00] | Well, if the goal is to show Barry what an idiot he’s being, | 如果目标是让巴瑞知道他有多白痴 |
[04:03] | I do have years of wonderful experience. | 我的经验可丰富了 |
[04:06] | So you’d help teach him a lesson? | 你会帮忙给他个教训吗 |
[04:08] | Unleash me. | 让我去吧 |
[04:08] | I don’t know, you look too excited right now. | 我不知道 你现在太兴奋了 |
[04:11] | Excited to help my friend. | 为能帮助朋友而兴奋 |
[04:12] | Okay, I’m desperate. Let’s do it. | 我没办法了 就这样 |
[04:13] | Promise you won’t be too mean, though. | 不过向我保证你不能太刻薄 |
[04:14] | Promise. | 我保证 |
[04:17] | Lainey’s in love with another man?! | 兰妮爱上了别的男人 |
[04:19] | You’re dating a girl way out of your league. | 你完全配不上你的女友 |
[04:21] | It was bound to happen. | 这是注定发生的事 |
[04:22] | Who is it?! Tell me. | 是谁 告诉我 |
[04:24] | I’ll destroy him with my hands and feet. | 我用手脚毁了他 |
[04:26] | It’s him. | 是他 |
[04:27] | Boy George? | 乔治男孩 |
[04:28] | From the glam-pop band Culture Club? | 超流行的文化俱乐部摇滚乐队的 |
[04:30] | What does he have that I don’t have? | 他有什么是我没有的 |
[04:32] | He’s cute, he’s cool, he’s stylish — | 他可爱 酷 时尚 |
[04:34] | Everything you’re not. | 你一点都沾不上边 |
[04:35] | Then it’s settled. | 就这么定了 |
[04:36] | I’m flying to england and challenging him to a duel. | 我飞去英国找他决斗 |
[04:39] | Maybe I’ll even slip him my demo tape. | 也许我可以把自己的歌曲样带给他 |
[04:40] | No, I will not get distracted! | 不 我不会被分心 |
[04:42] | Dude, you’re missing the point. | 伙计 你没明白重点 |
[04:43] | If you can rock this look, you can rock Lainey’s heart. | 如果你能搞定这副造型 你就能搞定兰妮的心 |
[04:47] | Yes. | 太对了 |
[04:48] | I don’t have to destroy Boy George. | 我不必毁了乔治男孩 |
[04:51] | I can be Boy George. | 我可以成为乔治男孩 |
[04:53] | Or should I say “Barry George”? | 或者 应该是”巴瑞乔治” |
[04:55] | You should say “Boy Barry”. | 应该是巴瑞男孩 |
[04:56] | Really? Barry george sounds better. | 是吗 巴瑞乔治听起来更好 |
[04:58] | It really doesn’t. | 真的不好 |
[04:59] | Boy Barry it is. Thanks, Erica. | 那就巴瑞男孩了 谢谢你 爱丽卡 |
[05:01] | I have no idea how I’ll ever pay you back. | 我不知道应该如何报答你 |
[05:02] | Money’s fine. | 给钱就行 |
[05:03] | I’ll smash my piggy bank. | 我砸碎存钱罐 |
[05:10] | That’ll do. | 可以了 |
[05:11] | Mom, you need to vacuum in here. | 妈 这里要吸尘 |
[05:16] | I know what you’re thinking. | 我知道你在想什么 |
[05:18] | and you’re right. | 没错 |
[05:19] | I’m Hawaiian super-sleuth Magnum, P.I. | 我是夏威夷超级侦探马格南 |
[05:22] | You’re right! That’s exactly what I was thinking! | 没错 我正是这么想的 |
[05:24] | My god, Bill, please don’t tell me | 我的天 比尔 拜托别告诉我 |
[05:26] | You blew all your money on this thing. | 你用全副身家买了这辆车 |
[05:28] | Oh, god, no. I can’t afford this car. | 才不是 我买不起这辆车 |
[05:30] | Just taking it out for a very leisurely test ride. | 只是出来悠闲地试驾一下 |
[05:32] | I’m sorry, are you saying | 抱歉 你是说 |
[05:33] | You have no intention of purchasing? | 你根本不想买吗 |
[05:35] | Because you made it sound like you — | 因为听起来你好像… |
[05:36] | Bup-bup! I’m still considering it, Randy. | 别说了 我还在考虑 兰迪 |
[05:39] | Oh, Murray, what do you say | 默里 我俩扮马格南 |
[05:41] | we Magnum over to geno’s for cheese steaks? | 去基诺餐馆买牛肉三明治吃怎么样 |
[05:43] | Oh, no, there’s no food allowed in the car. | 不 车上不准吃东西 |
[05:45] | Uh, and we have to stay within | 而且试驾不能超出 |
[05:46] | A two-mile radius of the showroom. | 我们店方圆两英里 |
[05:47] | Not now, Randy. Let’s Magnum! | 现在没这规矩 兰迪 我们去做马格南吧 |
[05:49] | No Magnuming. Uh, Murray and I have plans tonight. | 不做马格南 默里和我今晚有安排 |
[05:52] | What plans? | 什么安排 |
[05:53] | I’m gonna iron while he watches tv in his chair. | 他坐在沙发里看电视时我熨烫衣服 |
[05:55] | It’s our thing. | 这是我们的专属 |
[05:56] | Yeah, I can watch you iron tomorrow night. | 我可以明晚看你熨烫衣服 |
[05:58] | This just feels right. | 这个感觉太对了 |
[06:00] | Sweet ride, dude! | 真是好车啊 伙计 |
[06:03] | But you cannot pull off that outfit. | 但你穿这身衣服可不合适 |
[06:07] | Your son walks his own path. I get what Lainey sees in him. | 你儿子走自己的路 我明白兰妮看上他什么了 |
[06:10] | I don’t. | 我不明白 |
[06:11] | Hey, Mur, take the wheel. | 默里 上车 |
[06:12] | Yeah! | 好的 |
[06:13] | Randy, hit the bricks. | 兰迪 下车 |
[06:14] | Uh, okay, I will get fired. | 我会被解雇的 |
[06:15] | Yeah, just stay here for a while. | 你在这里待一会儿 |
[06:17] | my mom was livid. | 我妈火冒三丈 |
[06:18] | she couldn’t take it out on my dad, | 她没办法在我爸身上泄愤 |
[06:19] | So she took it out on his tighty-whities. | 于是就拿他的内裤出气 |
[06:22] | Mustaches, fast cars, Tom Selleck, | 胡须 跑车 汤姆·塞立克 |
[06:25] | And where does it end? | 什么时候是个头 |
[06:26] | With me, all alone, ironing underpants | 留我一个人熨烫内裤 |
[06:28] | Like some goblin who lives beneath the streets. | 好像住在地底的小妖精一样 |
[06:30] | I think you’re overstating it, Bev. | 我想你太夸张了 贝弗 |
[06:32] | Murray finally has a friend. | 默里终于有朋友了 |
[06:34] | You can’t change that, and you can’t change Bill. | 你无法改变这点 你无法改变比尔 |
[06:38] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
[06:39] | That’s the answer. | 这是解决办法 |
[06:40] | I need to change Bill. | 我需要改变比尔 |
[06:43] | I didn’t say “Change Bill”. I said the exact opposite. | 我没说”改变比尔” 我说的完全相反 |
[06:46] | Yeah, you don’t need to repeat yourself, dad, | 你不必重复 爸爸 |
[06:47] | I’ll do it. | 我会做的 |
[06:48] | Do not do it! | 不要这样做 |
[06:49] | Agreed. Doing it. | 同意 去做 |
[06:51] | Do not do it. | 不要这样做 |
[06:52] | Doing it. | 去做 |
[06:52] | I’ll change Bill and make him the best best friend | 我要改变比尔 令他成为我丈夫所有拥有的 |
[06:55] | My husband could have. | 最好最好的朋友 |
[06:57] | You’re just hearing specific words | 你选择性地听话 |
[06:59] | To suit your own horrible needs. | 来满足你可怕的需求 |
[07:01] | Just. | 很好 |
[07:02] | No! | 不 |
[07:02] | You’re the best, dad. | 你最好了 爸爸 |
[07:03] | As my mom was preparing to fix my dad’s best friend, | 我妈准备改造我爸最好的朋友 |
[07:06] | Barry was ready to win Lainey’s heart at all costs. | 巴瑞准备不惜一切赢得兰妮的心 |
[07:14] | ‘sup, football team? | 咋样 橄榄球队 |
[07:16] | Looking good, band nerds. | 样子不错嘛 乐队呆子 |
[07:18] | I’ll tumble for you, Johnny Atkins. | 我会上你的当 强尼·阿特金斯 |
[07:24] | Oh, my god! What did you tell him? | 我的天 你跟他说了什么 |
[07:26] | That you’re in love with another boy…George. | 你爱上了别的男生 乔治 |
[07:28] | Hey, sweet baby girl. | 漂亮的小姑娘 |
[07:30] | Need a personal escort to class by Barry George? | 需要由巴瑞乔治护送去上课吗 |
[07:32] | Damn it! I meant Boy Barry. | 见鬼 我是说巴瑞男孩 |
[07:34] | Point is, drink me in. | 重点是 跟我来 |
[07:35] | Oh, god! Stop! Don’t do that. | 老天 住手 别这样做 |
[07:36] | What’s the matter? You don’t like it? | 怎么啦 你不喜欢这打扮吗 |
[07:37] | On Boy george. Not on Barry Goldberg from Jenkintown. | 乔治男孩能行 来自珍金镇的巴瑞·金伯格不行 |
[07:41] | You can’t pull this off, dude. | 这种打扮不适合你 |
[07:43] | But I cracked my piggy bank and everything. | 但我砸碎了存钱罐 |
[07:45] | We were just trying to teach you a lesson. | 我们只想给你一个教训 |
[07:47] | You’ve been so needy lately. | 你最近一直好黏人 |
[07:49] | So, this was all a lie? You were just messing with me? | 这都是谎言吗 你只是逗我玩 |
[07:51] | How could you do this? | 你怎么能这样做 |
[07:52] | You’re my girlfriend. | 你是我的女友 |
[07:53] | I mean, do you really want to hurt me? | 你真的想伤害我吗 |
[07:56] | Oh, my god. It’s happening. | 我的天 开始了 |
[07:57] | Do you really want to make me cry? | 你真的想让我哭吗 |
[07:59] | He’s saying it for real. | 他是说真的 |
[08:01] | I’m sorry you think I’m so insecure. | 抱歉让你觉得我没安全感 |
[08:03] | Trust me, you don’t need to worry anymore. | 相信我 你不用再担心了 |
[08:05] | We’re done. | 我们分手 |
[08:13] | Thanks for inviting me over, Bev. | 谢谢你邀请我过来 贝弗 |
[08:14] | This shrimp parm is delicious. | 虾卷太好吃了 |
[08:15] | Anything for Murray’s best friend. | 默里最好的朋友不必如此客气 |
[08:17] | Are you saying that I’m his best friend… | 你是说我是他最好的朋友吗 |
[08:20] | Or did he say that? | 还是这话是他说的 |
[08:21] | Tell me exactly what he said, word for word. | 告诉我他怎么说的 一字不差 |
[08:23] | No, don’t tell me. | 不 别告诉我 |
[08:25] | Tell me. | 告诉我 |
[08:25] | No, he said it. | 是他说的 |
[08:26] | Yahtzee! | 太棒了 |
[08:27] | Oh, my god. My heart is beating out of my chest. | 我的天 我的心都快跳出来了 |
[08:29] | Yes, it is very exciting. | 是啊 好激动 |
[08:31] | And now that you two are best bros, | 现在你们两个是最好的兄弟 |
[08:33] | You’re not only important to him, | 你不仅对他来说重要 |
[08:34] | You’re important to me… | 对我来说也重要 |
[08:36] | Thanks, Beverly. | 谢谢你 贝弗莉 |
[08:37] | That means a lot. | 意义太重大了 |
[08:38] | …Which is why I’ve decided, | 所以我决定 |
[08:39] | Out of the goodness of my heart | 当然我是出于好心 |
[08:40] | And because I’m a decent person | 因为我是个好人 |
[08:42] | Who cares deeply for my husband, to change you. | 非常关心我的丈夫 我要改变你 |
[08:45] | Wait. Wh-what? | 慢着 什么 |
[08:46] | Bill, you don’t have a woman in your life | 比尔 你的生命中没有女人 |
[08:48] | Telling you all the things you do | 告诉你 你做的一切事情 |
[08:50] | That are wrong and stupid. | 是错误愚蠢的 |
[08:51] | I will be that woman. | 我来做这个女人 |
[08:53] | Actually, I really haven’t missed that very much. | 实际上 我并不太怀念有女人管的日子 |
[08:55] | Look, I’m not trying to change who you are. | 我不是想改变你这个人 |
[08:57] | I just want to fix how you | 我只想改变你穿衣 |
[08:58] | Dress, drive, walk, talk, eat, think, and laugh. | 开车走路说话吃饭思考笑的方式 |
[09:00] | That seems like almost all of me. | 这就是我的全部了 |
[09:02] | I don’t understand what’s happening. | 我不知道是怎么回事 |
[09:03] | Don’t move, let’s start right there. | 别动 从这里开始 |
[09:08] | See? No need for the head tilt. | 瞧 没必要歪头 |
[09:10] | You’re not a confused dog. You’re a confused man. | 你不是困惑的狗 你是困惑的人 |
[09:12] | Why the heck are you coming down on me so hard? | 你为什么对我这么咄咄逼人 |
[09:14] | Murray’s mustache? The hawaiian shirts? | 默里的胡子 夏威夷衬衫 |
[09:16] | The defiant attitude? | 目中无人的态度 |
[09:18] | That’s not the husband I created. | 这可不是我塑造的丈夫 |
[09:19] | Oh, I see what’s happening here. | 我知道是怎么回事了 |
[09:21] | You want to change me because I threaten you. | 你要改变我 因为我威胁到你了 |
[09:23] | You threaten me? | 你威胁到我 |
[09:25] | oh-ho, please. | 得了吧 |
[09:26] | You used to call the shots with Murray, | 以前默里的事你说了算 |
[09:28] | But now you’re just passing through Bill country. | 但你现在来到比尔国了 |
[09:31] | We’ll see who calls the shots | 等我让他刮胡子后 |
[09:32] | When I get him to shave off his mustache. | 我们来看是谁说了算 |
[09:34] | Don’t you dare! | 你好大的胆子 |
[09:37] | He looks powerful and handsome, like a circus strong-man. | 他看起来威武又帅气 像马戏团的大力士 |
[09:40] | Well, I think he looks like he’s got on his face. | 我觉得他看起来脸上有… |
[09:42] | Murray is an eagle that needs to soar, | 默里是需要高飞的雄鹰 |
[09:44] | But you just want to lasso him back to the nest. | 但你只想把他套回到巢里 |
[09:46] | Oh, he soars! | 他飞得很高 |
[09:48] | He soars big-time. | 他飞得可欢了 |
[09:49] | And I am the wind beneath his wings. | 我是他翅膀下的风 |
[09:51] | Oh, no, I am the wind that blows across the ocean, | 不 我是吹过海洋的风 |
[09:54] | And murray is but a leaf on my mighty gust. | 默里是我狂风中的一片树叶 |
[09:58] | You take that back! | 你收回这句话 |
[09:59] | Never! There’s a new force of nature in Murray’s life. | 休想 默里的生活中有了新的自然之力 |
[10:09] | It’s me! | 就是我 |
[10:11] | Bill had started the mustache war, | 比尔发动了胡须战争 |
[10:13] | But my mom was gonna finish it. | 但我妈会结束这场战争 |
[10:15] | It had been two days since Lainey embarrassed Barry, | 兰妮令巴瑞出丑已经两天了 |
[10:18] | and he refused to let it go. | 他还没放下这事 |
[10:19] | What do you want? | 你想怎样 |
[10:21] | Got you some grind wax for your bmx. | 给你的单车拿了点蜡 |
[10:23] | Thought I could go watch you jump stuff. | 我可以看你跳东西 |
[10:24] | Sorry, you don’t get to live the highs and lows | 抱歉 你别指望再看我骑着单车 |
[10:27] | That is bicycle motocross through me anymore. | 飞高窜低了 |
[10:29] | I messed up. | 我做错了 |
[10:30] | You can’t just break up with me. I love you. | 你不能和我分手 我爱你 |
[10:33] | Well, if that’s how you treat someone you love, count me out. | 如果你对爱的人是这样 别爱我了 |
[10:37] | Don’t worry, he’ll come crawling back when he realizes | 别担心 他意识到再也找不到你这样的女友时 |
[10:39] | That he’ll never get a girl like you ever again. | 会爬着回来求你的 |
[10:41] | See, that’s the whole problem. | 这就是问题所在 |
[10:43] | For some reason, Barry is convinced | 不知道什么原因 巴瑞确信 |
[10:45] | I am out of his league. | 他完全配不上我 |
[10:46] | I may have mentioned it once or twice… | 我可能提到过一两次 |
[10:49] | A day. | 每天一两次 |
[10:50] | Oh, then you’re gonna help me romance your brother | 那你要帮我跟你弟浪漫一下 |
[10:52] | And win him back. | 赢回他 |
[10:53] | Ew. Never. | 恶心 休想 |
[10:54] | Please! There has to be something I can do. | 求你了 肯定有什么我能做的 |
[10:56] | Like Chuck Norris. | 比如说查克·诺里斯 |
[10:58] | Barry loves that dude. | 巴瑞很喜欢这家伙 |
[10:59] | Maybe he can apologize for me. | 也许他会替我道歉 |
[11:00] | Chuck seems like an accessible guy, right? | 查克看起来挺容易接近的对吗 |
[11:02] | Barry’s written to Chuck a few times. | 巴瑞给查克写过一些信 |
[11:04] | I think that’s a dead end. | 我想不用指望了 |
[11:05] | Maybe I can jump something to impress Barry | 也许我可以跳东西来让巴瑞刮目相看 |
[11:07] | Or body slam Adam or challenge an animal to a fight. | 或是抱摔亚当 和动物打架 |
[11:10] | What’s the name of that horse that barry has a problem with? | 和巴瑞合不来的那匹马叫什么来着 |
[11:12] | If you really want to fix this, | 如果你真想挽回 |
[11:13] | Just do a big, embarrassing display that says | 就来场夸张的丢人的示爱 表示 |
[11:16] | “I love you, and I don’t care | 我爱你 我不在乎 |
[11:17] | If I look like an idiot saying it.” | 说出来令我像白痴 |
[11:19] | If embarrassing myself gets me one more kiss | 如果让自己出丑 能让他那流口水 |
[11:21] | From his drooly, cheeto-dusted lips, I’m in. | 沾满芝士条的唇再亲我一次 我愿意 |
[11:25] | I’m sorry, I ca– I can’t be with you right now. | 对不起 我现在不能见到你 |
[11:28] | I just can’t. | 不能 |
[11:29] | As Lainey plotted a way to show Barry her love, | 兰妮想办法向巴瑞展示自己的爱时 |
[11:32] | My mom’s plot to win the war of Murray was in full swing. | 我妈赢得默里之战的阴谋正在进行中 |
[11:40] | Beverly! | 贝弗莉 |
[11:42] | Good morning, handsome. | 早上好 帅哥 |
[11:44] | I made your favorite — food. | 我做了你的最爱 食物 |
[11:46] | And here’s your newspaper and tushie pillow. | 这是你的报纸和垫屁屁的枕头 |
[11:48] | You mowed my Magnum off while I slept. | 你趁我睡觉时刮了我的马格南胡须 |
[11:51] | Who does that? | 谁会这样做啊 |
[11:52] | Funny story. Me. | 有趣的故事 我 |
[11:54] | She lathered your face, shaved you clean, | 她给你的脸擦了刮胡膏 刮干净 |
[11:56] | And you didn’t even wake up? | 你都没有醒吗 |
[11:58] | When I go down, I go down hard. | 我睡着时 会睡得非常沉 |
[12:00] | Oh, I get a lot done while he’s asleep. | 他睡着时我会做很多事 |
[12:02] | Fingernails, nose hairs, rough elbows, q-tip work. | 剪指甲 剪鼻毛 去肘部死皮 掏耳朵 |
[12:05] | Soup to nuts. | 从头到脚 |
[12:07] | It’s so smooth, like a puppy’s paw. | 好光滑 像小狗的爪子 |
[12:10] | Let me get in there, see what all the fuss is about. | 我也摸摸 看这么小题大做是为了什么 |
[12:13] | I want you to drop by Bill’s store on your lunch break | 我要你吃午饭时去比尔的店 |
[12:15] | And show him my handiwork. | 让他看看我的手艺 |
[12:17] | Will everybody stop touching me?! | 大家别摸我了 |
[12:18] | Use my name. It’s Beverly. Say it. | 说我的名字 我叫贝弗莉 说 |
[12:21] | I know your name! | 我知道你的名字 |
[12:22] | Is this why you’re doing all of this? | 这就是你这样做的原因吗 |
[12:24] | Because you hate my best friend? | 因为你讨厌我最好的朋友 |
[12:25] | I don’t hate him, hon. | 我不讨厌他 亲爱的 |
[12:26] | All I did was show that ridiculous ass-for-brains | 我只是让那个可笑的笨蛋知道 |
[12:29] | Whose face this is — | 这张脸是谁的 |
[12:31] | Mine. | 我的 |
[12:32] | And you will speak of what happened here. | 你还要说清楚发生了什么事 |
[12:34] | Enough! You, me, and Bill are going to talk this out. | 够了 你我和比尔要好好谈谈 |
[12:37] | You…Want to talk? | 你想谈谈 |
[12:38] | Of course not. | 当然不想 |
[12:40] | But you’ve forced me into it. | 但你逼得我没办法了 |
[12:45] | I think he’s secretly happy. | 我觉得他心里偷着乐 |
[12:47] | While my mom wanted to show Bill she had won, | 我妈想让比尔知道她赢了时 |
[12:49] | Lainey was trying to win back Barry. | 兰妮想赢回巴瑞 |
[12:51] | Hey, big tasty. It’s me, McDLT. | 大甜甜 是我 至尊汉堡 |
[12:53] | I keep the hot side hot and the cool side cool. | 我让热的保持热 冷的保持冷 |
[12:56] | I’m not interested. | 我没兴趣 |
[12:57] | Maybe this will change your mind. | 也许这个能让你改变主意 |
[12:58] | Jtp, kick me a beat. | JTP 给我节奏 |
[13:02] | Let the whole school laugh at me — I don’t care. | 让全校笑我吧 我不在乎 |
[13:04] | I’d do anything for a guy named barry | 我为叫巴瑞的男生可以做一切事情 |
[13:07] | All the girls want him, but I don’t want to share-y | 所有姑娘都要他 但我不要分享 |
[13:09] | What followed was the worst, most ill-conceived rap | 接下来是学校历史上最差劲 |
[13:12] | Ever performed in school history. | 最不成章法的说唱 |
[13:14] | Unfortunately, lainey was hot and popular, | 不幸的是 兰妮漂亮又受欢迎 |
[13:15] | so this happened. | 所以结果是这样的 |
[13:16] | Hey, Lainey Lewis is rapping. She’s awesome. | 兰妮·路易斯在唱饶舌 她太棒了 |
[13:19] | Love is a love I’m thinking of | 爱是我想的爱 |
[13:21] | Love is a love that loves my love | 爱是爱我所爱 |
[13:24] | Love from above fits like a glove | 爱得恰到好处 |
[13:26] | Like any great performance, | 和任何伟大的表演一样 |
[13:28] | There was something for everyone. | 所有人都各自有喜欢的地方 |
[13:29] | No, she’s making fun of | 不 她在取笑 |
[13:30] | Barry Goldberg’s dreams and aspirations. | 巴瑞·金伯格的梦想和愿望 |
[13:32] | Hilarious. Give it to him, Lainey! | 太好笑了 让他尝尝厉害 兰妮 |
[13:34] | Well, everyone except Barry, | 所有人除了巴瑞 |
[13:35] | Who was elbowed out of his own apology rap, | 他被人潮挤出了他自己的道歉说唱 |
[13:37] | Which quickly caught on with the crowd. | 而且大家很快就跟着一起唱 |
[13:40] | Barry, where are you going? | 巴瑞 你去哪里 |
[13:42] | She’s showing how much she loves you | 她用你会用的方式让自己出丑 |
[13:43] | By embarrassing herself the way that you would. | 来向你表达对你的爱 |
[13:45] | she can’t even embarrass herself when she tries. | 就算她努力想出丑也出不了 |
[13:48] | all this proves is what you’ve always said. | 这些只证明了你一直说的 |
[13:51] | She’s out of my league. | 我完全配不上她 |
[13:52] | While Barry gave up on Lainey, my dad was fighting for Bill. | 巴瑞放弃了兰妮 我爸为比尔而战 |
[13:55] | Okay, you two have forced my hand, | 你们逼我的 |
[13:59] | So now we’re gonna have to talk… | 所以现在我们必须谈谈 |
[14:01] | About feelings. | 感觉 |
[14:03] | I’ll go first. | 我先说 |
[14:05] | I’m feeling mad. | 我觉得生气 |
[14:07] | You’re mad? | 你生气 |
[14:08] | How could you let her take your ‘stache, Mur? How? | 你怎能让她刮了你的胡子 老默 怎么能 |
[14:10] | That’s not the only thing I took, big guy. | 我拿走的还有这个 大块头 |
[14:12] | That’s not yours! That’s a friendship comb! | 这不是你的 这是友谊之梳 |
[14:14] | It’s a spoil of war. | 这是战利品 |
[14:16] | Stop it, both of you. There is no war. | 你们两个住口 没有战争 |
[14:18] | Open your eyes, fool. Look at her just peacocking me. | 张开双眼 笨蛋 看她向我炫耀的样子 |
[14:21] | She thinks she’s won, but we’re just getting started. | 她以为她赢了 但我们才刚开始 |
[14:23] | Are we, now? | 是吗 |
[14:24] | We are. | 是的 |
[14:25] | Court-side seats to the sixers, Mur. | 76人队的场边票 老默 |
[14:28] | You want to stay here and watch “Charlie’s angels” | 你要留在家看《霹雳娇娃》 |
[14:29] | Or go watch Charlie Barkley? | 还是去看查理·巴克利 |
[14:31] | Nobody calls him that. | 没人这样叫他 |
[14:32] | Someone does — maybe his mama | 有人 也许他妈这样叫 |
[14:34] | Or a close cousin who’s more like a sibling. | 或是像兄弟姐妹的亲近表亲 |
[14:36] | All right, enough. | 够了 |
[14:37] | Bevy, you’re gonna have to be the bigger person here | 贝弗 你要大度一些 |
[14:38] | And apologize so we can move past this. | 道歉 这样这事能了结 |
[14:40] | Me apologize? For what? | 我道歉 为什么呀 |
[14:42] | That’s right, Bevy. | 没错 贝弗 |
[14:43] | Looks like your man’s on my side. | 看来你家男人站在我这边 |
[14:45] | There are no sides. | 不存在站在谁那边 |
[14:46] | I think it’s time we settle this once and for all. | 我想是时候一次性解决这问题了 |
[14:48] | It’s a simple choice, really. | 这是一个简单的选择 |
[14:50] | Her or me? | 选她还是我 |
[14:52] | What? | 什么 |
[14:53] | That’s right, woman. You forgot. | 没错 女人 你忘了 |
[14:55] | I negotiate big tile contracts for a living, | 我是靠谈判大金额瓷砖合同为生的 |
[14:58] | and I always win. | 我总是赢 |
[15:02] | Overplayed my hand, huh? | 我有点过火了对吗 |
[15:03] | Yeah, you did. | 是的 |
[15:05] | Hey, listen. I got a counteroffer. | 听着 我再还个价 |
[15:06] | How about tuesday nights and every other weekend? | 每周二和隔周末怎么样 |
[15:08] | Yeah, the thing is, she’s my wife. | 但问题是 她是我老婆 |
[15:11] | It’s — it’s — it’s over. | 结束了 |
[15:12] | Nah, I get it. | 我明白 |
[15:13] | Makes sense now with a little distance. | 现在有些距离也不错 |
[15:15] | Yeah, we probably should have | 也许我们应该 |
[15:16] | Discussed the details of your plan beforehand. | 事先讨论下你计划的细节 |
[15:19] | Seems that way. | 是这样的 |
[15:21] | it’s for the best. | 这样最好 |
[15:22] | For you. | 对你来说 |
[15:23] | You’re in charge around here, and I’m good with that. | 这里你说了算 我没意见 |
[15:26] | But I kind of liked having a friend, | 但我喜欢有个朋友 |
[15:28] | And it would have been nice if you liked him, too. | 要是你也喜欢他就更好了 |
[15:36] | Even though my mom won | 尽管我妈赢得了臭名昭著的 |
[15:37] | The infamous Goldberg mustache war, | 金伯格胡须大战 |
[15:39] | My dad was the real casualty. | 但我爸才是真正的伤员 |
[15:45] | Who’s there? Bill? | 是谁 比尔吗 |
[15:46] | Better. | 更好 |
[15:48] | I’m charlie’s most sensible angel, Kate Jackson. | 我是查理最懂事的天使 凯特·杰克逊 |
[15:51] | I’m the one who wears pants. | 我是穿裤子那个 |
[15:54] | What is this? What’s happening? | 这是怎么回事 |
[15:55] | Glad you asked, Bosley. | 很高兴你问了 波丝丽 |
[15:57] | I was thinking we could take a little joy ride | 我想我们可以开着这辆 |
[15:58] | In this sporty automobile we have no intention of buying. | 根本不打算买的跑车去兜风 |
[16:01] | But you said we were close. I ran a credit check. | 但你说差不多了 我都查了你的信用记录 |
[16:04] | Don’t blow the sale, Randy. | 别搞砸买卖 兰迪 |
[16:06] | Honey, I know Bill was your friend, | 亲爱的 我知道比尔是你的朋友 |
[16:08] | But I’m your best friend. | 但我是你最好的朋友 |
[16:10] | And any fun you had with him, you can have with me. | 你和他玩什么开心 和我也一样可以 |
[16:12] | I’m sorry, Bevy. It’s just not the same. | 对不起 贝弗 不一样的 |
[16:15] | I’m gonna go in and watch tv. | 我进去看电视了 |
[16:17] | You can come in and iron if you want. | 你想的话可以进来熨烫衣服 |
[16:19] | But I bought a wig. | 但我买了假发 |
[16:20] | I will no longer be a pawn in your family drama! | 我不会再做你们家庭狗血剧的棋子了 |
[16:25] | While Randy had had enough, | 兰迪受够的时候 |
[16:27] | Lainey was finally realizing that it was over with Barry. | 兰妮终于意识到和巴瑞结束了 |
[16:32] | I can’t believe it’s really over. | 真不敢相信真的结束了 |
[16:34] | You really love that big dummy, don’t you? | 你真的爱那个大傻瓜对吗 |
[16:36] | I really do. | 是的 |
[16:39] | And in that moment, my sister decided to do | 在那一刻 我姐决定去做 |
[16:41] | The last thing she ever wanted to. | 她最不愿意做的事 |
[16:43] | Win back my brother’s heart. | 赢回我哥哥的心 |
[16:46] | Put down the cheetos. Lainey needs you. | 放下芝士条 兰妮需要你 |
[16:49] | trust me, she doesn’t. | 相信我 她不需要 |
[16:51] | She does. | 她需要 |
[16:52] | look, a lot of this is my fault. | 这事很大程度上是我的错 |
[16:56] | I’ve told you every day that you’re not good enough for her. | 我每天告诉你 你配不上她 |
[16:58] | but you know what? | 但你知道吗 |
[17:00] | I was wrong. | 我错了 |
[17:01] | She’s lucky to have you. | 拥有你是她的幸运 |
[17:03] | But she embarrassed me in front of the whole school. | 但她让我在全校面前出丑 |
[17:05] | And you embarrass her every day by being you. | 你做自己 让她每天都出丑 |
[17:09] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
[17:10] | I’m the worst, and she still loves me. | 我是最差的 她依然爱我 |
[17:14] | She loves me! | 她爱我 |
[17:19] | That was an amazing thing you just did, honey. | 你刚才做的真是太棒了 亲爱的 |
[17:21] | I guess sometimes two people just need each other | 我想有时候两个人就是需要彼此 |
[17:23] | No matter how weird it seems to everyone else. | 无论在他人眼中有多奇怪 |
[17:26] | That night, Erica didn’t just open up barry’s eyes. | 那晚 爱丽卡不仅打开了巴瑞的双眼 |
[17:28] | She made my mom realize how blind she’d been. | 她令我妈意识到一直以来她有多盲目 |
[17:36] | Mom, what are you doing? | 妈 你做什么 |
[17:38] | Not now, poopie. | 没空理你 宝贝儿 |
[17:45] | I’ll catch up with you. | 我会追上你的 |
[17:47] | Wear a raincoat next time. | 下次穿上雨衣 |
[17:51] | Bill, we need to talk. | 比尔 我们得谈谈 |
[17:52] | Who is it? | 是谁 |
[17:54] | No one. | 不是谁 |
[17:56] | I deserve that. | 是我活该 |
[17:57] | Bill, I am so sorry for everything. | 比尔 太对不起了 |
[18:00] | I felt threatened, okay? | 我感觉被威胁了 行吗 |
[18:02] | I started to think maybe you could give Murray | 我开始觉得你可以给默里 |
[18:04] | things that I couldn’t, | 我不能给的 |
[18:05] | But I realize that might actually be a good thing. | 但我意识到 这也许是好事 |
[18:11] | You know what’s a good thing? | 你知道什么是好事吗 |
[18:13] | This right here. | 此时此地 |
[18:18] | And, Lainey, Barry loves you so much. | 兰妮 巴瑞非常爱你 |
[18:21] | I think he was so afraid of losing you, | 我想他太害怕失去你 |
[18:23] | He ended up pushing you away. | 所以把你推开了 |
[18:24] | Lainey! Lainey! | 兰妮 兰妮 |
[18:26] | We have to talk. | 我们得谈谈 |
[18:27] | It’s okay. We’re okay. | 没事 我们没事 |
[18:29] | We are? | 是吗 |
[18:30] | Yeah. | 是的 |
[18:31] | But I didn’t even get to say what I — | 但我还没说我要说的 |
[18:32] | Mama took care of it. | 妈妈搞定了 |
[18:36] | Are you kidding me?! | 开玩笑吗 |
[18:37] | I had a beautiful speech planned out. | 我想好了一番动人的说辞 |
[18:39] | Cramping. My leg’s cramping. | 抽筋 腿抽筋 |
[18:41] | Oh, oh, sit. | 坐下 |
[18:41] | You know, now that we’re square, | 现在我们扯平了 |
[18:42] | Maybe I’ll go upstairs and shave the old ‘stache. | 也许我应该上楼去刮胡子 |
[18:45] | There’s only one thing you need to do right now — | 现在你只需要做一件事 |
[18:48] | Go to him. | 去找他 |
[18:52] | I’m coming, Mur! | 我来了 老默 |
[18:56] | Why are we running, too? | 为什么我们也要跑 |
[18:58] | I left a lasagna in the oven. | 千层面还在烤箱里 |
[19:00] | Lasagna! | 千层面 |
[19:03] | In life, there are certain relationships | 人生中 有些特定的关系 |
[19:05] | That define who you are — your first teen crush, | 会定义你这个人 十几岁的初恋 |
[19:09] | your best friend, your family… | 你最好的朋友 你的家人 |
[19:11] | For $5,000, it’s the title of a play… | 五千块 一出戏剧的名字 |
[19:14] | “Death of a salesmat”. | 《推销员之尸》 |
[19:16] | Really? | 不是吧 |
[19:18] | What’s a salesmat? | 之尸是什么 |
[19:19] | How would I know? I’m not a salesmat salesman. | 我怎么知道 我又不是之尸推销员 |
[19:22] | Aww, so close, baby. | 差点就对了 宝贝 |
[19:25] | You two are the worst. | 你俩最差劲了 |
[19:26] | These are the relationships that matter the most. | 这些关系是最重要的 |
[19:29] | But they’re also the hardest, | 也是最难的 |
[19:30] | ’cause when you truly love someone, | 因为当你真正爱一个人时 |
[19:31] | You sometimes hold on too tight, | 有时候会握得太紧 |
[19:33] | Afraid that you’ll lose them. | 害怕会失去他们 |
[19:35] | Here you go, boys. Bagel bites. | 给你们 百吉饼 |
[19:37] | Actually, I think I’m gonna take off. | 我想我得走了 |
[19:39] | Got somewhere to be. | 得去个地方 |
[19:42] | – Later, Bill. – Yep. | -回见 比尔 -好的 |
[19:44] | But the truth is, | 但事实是 |
[19:46] | When you give the people you love most just a little space, | 当你给你最爱的人一些空间 |
[19:49] | You’ll find the place they really want to be | 你会发现他们真正想待的地方 |
[19:51] | is right at your side. | 就是你身边 |
[20:01] | Oh, Adam, please. | 亚当 拜托了 |
[20:07] | You know, you have to start getting dressed, okay? | 你要开始换衣服了 好吗 |
[20:11] | Please turn that off. | 关掉摄像机 |
[20:14] | Out of the way, nerd. | 让开 呆子 |
[20:15] | Hey, I-I-I was just looking through the mail. | 我在看邮件 |
[20:17] | Actually, there’s something here for you. | 这里有封给你的 |
[20:19] | “Master Barry Goldberg?” | 巴瑞·金伯格大师 |
[20:21] | From C. Norris? Hollywood, California? | 寄信人查·诺里斯 加州好莱坞 |
[20:24] | Dude, Chuck Norris wrote me back! | 兄弟 查克·诺里斯回我信了 |
[20:31] | “Dear Barry, sorry it took me so long to write back, | 亲爱的巴瑞 抱歉这么久才回你的信 |
[20:35] | But thanks for the nice words and for being a fan. | 谢谢你说的那些好话 以及做我的粉丝 |
[20:37] | I have given a great deal of thought | 我想了很久 |
[20:39] | To what I’m about to tell you.” | 才决定说以下的话 |
[20:40] | – What’s he saying? – Shut up! | -他说什么 -闭嘴 |
[20:41] | “Herein lies my most precious secret | 这是我成为真正的 |
[20:43] | To being a true martial arts warrior. | 武术战士的最宝贵的秘密 |
[20:46] | If you have a brother, obey him. | 如果你有兄弟 服从他 |
[20:48] | He has a power you do not yet understand. | 他有你不明白的力量 |
[20:50] | Godspeed, douche-nozzle. | 祝成功 白痴 |
[20:52] | Sincerely, Chuck Norris.” | 你真诚的 查克·诺里斯 |
[20:54] | So, what’s it say, douche-nozzle? | 信上说什么 白痴 |
[20:57] | It says I should kick your ass. | 上面说我应该痛揍你 |