| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Ah, the ’80s — | 八十年代 |
| [00:01] | A time before you could magically download music, | 你还不能神奇地下载音乐 |
| [00:03] | and your stereo was your pride and joy. | 录音机就是你的骄傲与快乐 |
| [00:05] | Just one problem — tapes cost a fortune, | 只是有一个问题 磁带太贵了 |
| [00:08] | so I only owned two, | 所以我只有两盒 |
| [00:09] | Both of which were the “Cocktail” soundtrack. | 都是《鸡尾酒》的电影原声带 |
| [00:12] | Luckily, back then, there was a way to get free music. | 好在那时候有办法弄到免费音乐 |
| [00:14] | And coming in at number 2, Chicago. | 排名第二的是 芝加哥乐队 |
| [00:16] | Waiting for three hours to record it right off the radio. | 等待三小时从收音机里录下来 |
| [00:19] | Unfortunately, in my house, that wasn’t so easy. | 遗憾地是 在我家这事不太容易办 |
| [00:22] | Hey, hey, Barry, do you mind? I’m recording Chicago. | 巴瑞 你到一边去吧 我在录芝加哥乐队的歌 |
| [00:25] | You won’t hear a thing. Look at my hands. | 我不会发出声音的 看我的手 |
| [00:27] | These are the fingers of a surgeon. | 这是外科医生的手指 |
| [00:30] | Not cool, funny bone! Not cool! | 不像话 肘部尺骨端 不像话 |
| [00:32] | I’m home! The tv’s mine! | 我回家了 电视是我的 |
| [00:34] | Dad, I’m recording music. | 爸 我在录歌 |
| [00:36] | And I’m watching a very special “Gilligan’s Island” | 我要看《吉利根岛》的特别集 |
| [00:39] | Where the Harlem Globetrotters come to visit. | 哈林花式篮球队去了 |
| [00:41] | Please, just give me three minutes. | 拜托 就给我三分钟 |
| [00:42] | I’ve always loved Gilligan, | 我一直喜欢吉利根 |
| [00:44] | and I love Meadowlark Lemon. | 还有梅多拉克·莱蒙[球星] |
| [00:45] | I never thought the two of them would meet. | 我从来没想过他们会碰到一起 |
| [00:47] | Damn it! | 该死的 |
| [00:48] | – Can you at least try to — – I hate you and this house. | -你可以至少… -我恨你和这个家 |
| [00:51] | I didn’t even do anything. | 我什么也没做 |
| [00:52] | Oh, well, I suppose the car just dented itself. | 那我想车是自己凹了一块 |
| [00:55] | Come on, man! | 拜托 伙计 |
| [00:56] | Like I’m supposed to believe… | 好像我应该相信 |
| [00:57] | …They built a basketball court on the island! | 他们在岛上建了个篮球场 |
| [01:00] | My own daughter… | 我的亲生女儿 |
| [01:01] | Damn it! | 该死的 |
| [01:02] | Damn it! Darn it! | 该死的 见鬼 |
| [01:03] | – That’s obviously stupid. – Apparently… | -这太傻了 -显然 |
| [01:07] | Yep, it seemed I would never get to enjoy the music I liked | 没错 似乎我永远无法享受我喜欢的音乐 |
| [01:10] | until one company changed everything. | 直到一家公司改变了一切 |
| [01:13] | Columbia house. | 哥伦比亚屋 |
| [01:14] | My god! How did you get | 我的天 你割草的工资 |
| [01:16] | all those tapes on a lawn mower’s salary? | 怎么可能买得起这么多磁带 |
| [01:18] | They got this catalog filled with albums, | 他们的目录上全是专辑 |
| [01:20] | and they just give you 12 tapes for a penny. | 12盒磁带只要一分钱 |
| [01:22] | That deal defies all reason. | 这交易根本没道理 |
| [01:23] | I know. I got them all — | 我知道 我全有了 |
| [01:25] | Abba to Zappa. | 从A的阿巴到Z的扎帕 |
| [01:26] | – ‘Sup, pretty eyes? – Not much, DK. | -还好吗 美眼妹 -还行 金戴 |
| [01:28] | Sweet tapes. | 好棒的磁带 |
| [01:30] | – Yeah. – I don’t know, man. | -对 -我不知道 |
| [01:31] | There’s, like, a bunch of legal stuff here. | 这里面好像有很多法律条款 |
| [01:33] | Dave Kim doesn’t read the fine print. | 金戴夫才不看那些小号字 |
| [01:35] | He lives in the moment. | 他活在当下 |
| [01:37] | Tapes! | 磁带 |
| [01:38] | It had to be too good to be true. | 这事美好得不像是真的 |
| [01:40] | So I went to the biggest con artist in my family — | 于是我去找我家最厉害的行骗高手 |
| [01:42] | My big sister. | 我的大姐 |
| [01:43] | Sure, you get a bunch of tapes up front, | 当然 最开始你会得到一些磁带 |
| [01:45] | but then you enter into a contract | 但是你会被合同困住 |
| [01:46] | to order more for full price. | 要用全价订购更多 |
| [01:48] | In the end, Columbia house always comes for you. | 最后 哥伦比亚屋总是会找到你 |
| [01:51] | Man, I bet they have like ex-navy seals | 老天 我打赌他们有前海豹突击队队员 |
| [01:53] | to collect their money. | 来收钱 |
| [01:54] | I think you’re giving them too much credit. | 你也太看得起他们了 |
| [01:56] | Point is you can’t get something for free. | 重点是天下没有免费的午餐 |
| [01:58] | Sure you can. | 有的 |
| [01:59] | What you do is go into a store, | 你要做的就是去商店 |
| [02:00] | take a bunch of stuff, and then just walk out. | 拿一些东西 然后走人 |
| [02:02] | Yeah, that’s called stealing. | 这叫做偷 |
| [02:03] | That’s called stealing. | 这叫做偷 |
| [02:04] | That’s what you sound like. | 你就是这个调调 |
| [02:05] | Wait, wait. | 慢着 |
| [02:06] | What if I give columbia house a fake name | 如果我给哥伦比亚屋假名字 |
| [02:09] | and take the 12 tapes? | 拿走12盒磁带呢 |
| [02:10] | Well, it’s illegal, but very clever. | 这是违法的 但很聪明 |
| [02:13] | Yes! Then let’s do this! | 太棒了 就这么做 |
| [02:14] | As much as I would love to commit mail fraud with you, | 我也很想和你一起玩邮件欺诈 |
| [02:16] | mom’s really been on my back lately. | 但最近妈盯我盯得很紧 |
| [02:18] | Come on. Commit a felony with me. | 求你了 和我一起犯法吧 |
| [02:20] | It’ll be a good bonding experience, | 这是很棒的增进姐弟感情的体验 |
| [02:22] | or at the very least a cautionary tale. | 至少也是个警世故事 |
| [02:24] | Your little brother’s hardcore. | 你弟挺热血的 |
| [02:26] | Yeah, a hardcore nerd. | 热血呆子 |
| [02:27] | Not anymore, Erica. | 不再是了 爱丽卡 |
| [02:29] | Face it — now I’m a certified badass. | 面对现实吧 我现在是有品质保证的坏蛋 |
| [02:32] | Schmoopie. “Muppet babies” is on. | 宝贝 《木偶宝贝》开始了 |
| [02:34] | Yippee! | 棒耶 |
| [02:51] | It was March 16, 1980-something, | 那是一九八几年的3月16日 |
| [02:53] | and my brother went to pick up his girlfriend, Lainey. | 我哥去接他的女友兰妮 |
| [02:55] | One problem — he had to get by her dad first. | 有一个问题 他得先通过她爸 |
| [02:59] | Lainey! | 兰妮 |
| [03:00] | The scream-y kid with the crazy eyebrows is here. | 声音特尖眉毛特浓的小子来了 |
| [03:03] | Special night. It’s our 10-month anniversary. | 特别的一晚 我们的十个月纪念 |
| [03:05] | Anniversaries are for years, not months, | 纪念是按年算的 没有按月算的 |
| [03:08] | so you’re celebrating nothing. | 你没什么可庆祝的 |
| [03:09] | Let me see your wallet. | 把钱包给我看 |
| [03:10] | Here, take it. | 给 |
| [03:12] | $6? | 六块钱 |
| [03:14] | Where do you plan to take her tonight? | 你今晚计划带她去哪里 |
| [03:15] | A vending machine at a bus station? | 汽车站的自动贩卖机吗 |
| [03:17] | Oh, it’s fine. She usually pays. | 没事 通常是她请客 |
| [03:19] | Hey, Bar. | 巴瑞 |
| [03:26] | Nope! Absolutely not! | 不行 绝对不行 |
| [03:28] | Shutting it down. | 少来了 |
| [03:32] | If that jacket hits the floor tonight, so do you. | 如果今晚外套落地 你也一样 |
| [03:33] | Okay, kids, have a great time. | 孩子们 玩得开心点 |
| [03:35] | Even though Barry had won the love of his life, | 尽管巴瑞赢得了挚爱的心 |
| [03:37] | it was becoming clear he had not won over her dad. | 但越来越明显 他没有赢得她父亲的心 |
| [03:40] | Yet. | 暂时没有 |
| [03:41] | Nothing like a cold one after work, am I right? | 没什么比得上下班后来瓶冰啤酒了 对吗 |
| [03:44] | Amen to that, brother! | 太同意了 兄弟 |
| [03:45] | Love me the old brew ha-ha, nectar of the gods, | 喜欢啤酒 神的甘露 |
| [03:49] | foam hammer, wheat and greet, little truth water, | 泡沫刺激 麦香怡人 真理之水 |
| [03:51] | golden problem solver, beer. | 最佳麻烦解决者 啤酒 |
| [03:53] | Move over, rover. | 过去点 |
| [03:55] | – Are you telling me you drink? – No! | -你是说你喝酒吗 -不 |
| [03:57] | You just said you love cold suds. | 你刚说你喜欢冰啤酒 |
| [04:00] | So which is it? Are you a lush or a liar? | 到底怎样 你是酒鬼还是骗子 |
| [04:02] | – He’s a moron. – I’m gonna grab us a refill, Mur. | -他是白痴 -我再去拿酒 老默 |
| [04:05] | You want a six pack, Mickey Mantle? | 你要六瓶装吗 米奇·曼托[棒球手] |
| [04:08] | – Why? – I’m probably being a little paranoid, | -为什么 -我可能有些多疑 |
| [04:11] | but it kind of seems like Bill hates my living guts. | 但似乎比尔非常讨厌我 |
| [04:13] | He sure does! | 那是当然的 |
| [04:14] | I don’t get it. | 我不明白 |
| [04:15] | Mom says I’m literally a human ray of sunshine. | 妈说我就是阳光 |
| [04:18] | Your mom’s a nice lady, | 你妈是个好女人 |
| [04:19] | but she’s done some real damage to you. | 但她真的严重伤害了你 |
| [04:21] | I need Bill to be my friend. | 我需要比尔做我的朋友 |
| [04:23] | He’s like a father to Lainey. | 他像是兰妮的父亲 |
| [04:25] | You’re the boyfriend. | 你是男友 |
| [04:26] | No dad likes the guy who’s dating his daughter. | 没有父亲喜欢约会自己女儿的男生 |
| [04:28] | So it’s not personal. | 所以不是针对我的 |
| [04:30] | Yes! | 太好了 |
| [04:31] | Top shelf. | 击掌 |
| [04:33] | – Yeah, throw this away. – No. | -扔了 -不 |
| [04:34] | – I’ll time you. – Okay, got to beat my record. | -我帮你计时 -好的 得破纪录 |
| [04:36] | While Barry was happily distracted, | 巴瑞高兴得被分散注意力时 |
| [04:37] | I was focused on pulling off the biggest scam ever. | 我集中精神完成有史以来最大的骗局 |
| [04:40] | Dude, what are you doing? | 伙计 你在做什么 |
| [04:42] | I’ve had a revelation. | 我灵光一闪 |
| [04:43] | Why create one fake name and get 12 tapes, | 为什么只捏造一个假名得到12盒磁带 |
| [04:46] | when you can create infinite fake names | 明明可以捏造无限的假名 |
| [04:48] | and get all the tapes? | 得到所有的磁带 |
| [04:49] | Are you sure this is a good idea? | 你确定这是个好主意吗 |
| [04:51] | I’ve thought of everything, Erica. | 我全想过了 爱丽卡 |
| [04:53] | See, Columbia house has agents everywhere | 哥伦比亚屋的特工无处不在 |
| [04:56] | looking to collect their money. | 他们想收钱 |
| [04:57] | But I’ll be one step ahead of them with this. | 但我会先他们一步 通过这个 |
| [05:00] | Each of my phony identities | 我的每一个假身份 |
| [05:01] | has elaborately fleshed-out backstories | 都有精心设计的详实的背景故事 |
| [05:04] | that I’ve completely committed to memory. | 我都牢牢记住了 |
| [05:05] | Optimus o’prime? Really, dude? | 擎天阿柱 拜托 兄弟 |
| [05:07] | Whose first name is optimus? | 谁会叫这种名字 |
| [05:09] | This guy. | 这个人 |
| [05:09] | He’s a 41-year-old truck driver | 他是41岁的卡车司机 |
| [05:11] | who spends his long nights on the road | 漫漫长夜在路上开车 |
| [05:13] | jamming to the soft-rock stylings of Chicago. | 听着芝加哥乐队的慢摇风格的歌 |
| [05:16] | Ugh, why? | 为什么 |
| [05:17] | Because I’m playing god, Erica. | 因为我在扮演上帝 爱丽卡 |
| [05:19] | Meet Dr. Garth Vaderstein. | 来见见达斯·维达斯特恩博士 |
| [05:21] | He’s got asthma and issues with his son. | 他有哮喘 和儿子关系不好 |
| [05:23] | He’s also got an insane love of Hall & Oates. | 而且他疯狂地爱着霍尔与奥兹二重唱 |
| [05:26] | Well, we all have hobbies. | 我们都有爱好 |
| [05:27] | Next, meet Stu Voltron, age 43. | 接下来 见见斯图·战神金刚 43岁 |
| [05:30] | He’s a divorced veterinarian. | 离婚的兽医 |
| [05:32] | The only thing he loves more than animals? | 比起动物 唯一让他更爱的是 |
| [05:34] | Billy Joel. | 比利·乔 |
| [05:35] | I think maybe you should pump the brakes | 我想也许你应该停下 |
| [05:37] | on your life of crime. | 你的犯罪之路 |
| [05:38] | I think you should beat it, narc. | 我想你应该走人 死条子 |
| [05:40] | Yay, tapes. | 好棒 磁带 |
| [05:43] | For mere pennies, I had enough soft rock | 几分钱而已 我拥有的慢摇音乐 |
| [05:45] | for two lifetimes. | 够听两辈子的 |
| [05:48] | That’s a whole lot of music cassettes. | 好多音乐磁带 |
| [05:50] | How did you get the money for all that? | 你怎么有这么多钱买磁带 |
| [05:52] | Do you want to ask questions? | 你要问问题 |
| [05:53] | Or do you want a little Neil Diamond? | 还是要尼尔·戴蒙德 |
| [05:56] | I saw nothing. | 我什么也没看见 |
| [05:57] | Good answer. | 答得好 |
| [05:58] | As I was in way over my head, | 我自不量力时 |
| [06:00] | Barry was trying to make some headway with Bill. | 巴瑞想和比尔的关系取得一些进展 |
| [06:06] | There he is. | 他在这里 |
| [06:07] | It’s happening. | 成真了 |
| [06:08] | He’s changed his mind about me. | 他改变了对我的看法 |
| [06:11] | Anthony Balsamo, you old son of a gun. | 安东尼·巴尔萨莫 你这个小崽子 |
| [06:14] | Where you been? Why don’t you come around anymore? | 你去哪里了 为什么不来了 |
| [06:16] | ‘Cause your beautiful daughter broke up with me. | 因为你漂亮的女儿和我分手了 |
| [06:18] | Ah, women — who can understand them? | 女人 谁能懂她们 |
| [06:19] | Hey, when am I gonna see you out on the links again? | 我什么时候才能在高尔夫球场见到你 |
| [06:21] | My buddy and I have a tee time this weekend. | 我的朋友和我这周末要去打球 |
| [06:23] | You should caddy for me. | 你应该做我的球童 |
| [06:24] | Keep this duffer on the green. | 让我这技术不咋样的人别打飞球 |
| [06:26] | Look out! | 小心了 |
| [06:30] | I hate it when my dad talks golf with my ex. | 我讨厌我爸和我的前男友谈高尔夫 |
| [06:32] | They used to do it all the time when we dated. | 我们约会时 他们总是聊这个 |
| [06:33] | Your dad liked him while you two were dating? | 你们约会时 你爸喜欢他吗 |
| [06:35] | I thought he hated me ’cause I’m your boyfriend. | 我以为他讨厌我是因为我是你的男友 |
| [06:37] | Oh, sweetie, no. | 亲爱的 不 |
| [06:38] | My dad hates you as, like, a person. | 我爸是讨厌你这个人 |
| [06:40] | You being my boyfriend is just a happy coincidence. | 你是我的男友只是快乐的巧合罢了 |
| [06:42] | Well, don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [06:43] | I know a man who’s got the inside track on your dad, | 我认识一个人 可以和你爸搭上门路 |
| [06:46] | and he’ll be more than happy to help me. | 他会非常开心地帮我的 |
| [06:49] | Mmmmm, yeah, uh… | 嗯 好 呃 |
| [06:52] | What is that? Is that a yes or a no? | 这是什么 好还是不好 |
| [06:54] | Yeaaaa-no… | 好 不 |
| [06:57] | You’re mashing yes and no together. | 你把好和不好混在一起了 |
| [06:59] | Speak clearly in english words. | 用人话好好说 |
| [07:01] | No…Yeah, uh… | 不 好 |
| [07:04] | Come on, dad. | 拜托 爸 |
| [07:05] | You’re Bill’s best friend. Just talk to him for me. | 你是比尔最好的朋友 帮我说好话 |
| [07:07] | Talk? We mostly sit in comfortable silence and drink. | 说话 我们主要就是舒服地坐着 沉默地喝酒 |
| [07:09] | You never once told him | 你从来没跟他说 |
| [07:11] | how cool or funny or athletic I am? | 我是多么酷或是风趣或是有运动神经吗 |
| [07:13] | You know, it’s never come up, and I don’t think it ever will. | 没有过 我想永远不可能说 |
| [07:15] | Can you at least tell him how good I am | 你能至少告诉他 我在洗澡时 |
| [07:16] | at getting all the shampoo out of my hair in the shower? | 有多擅长把所有的洗发水泡泡洗掉吗 |
| [07:18] | As a favor to you, no. | 为了你好 不 |
| [07:20] | Did you tell him how I can palm a volleyball? | 你跟他说了 我能用手掌拿住排球吗 |
| [07:22] | No, ’cause you can’t do it consistently. | 没 你又不能一直这样做 |
| [07:23] | Tell him how good I am at all-you-can-eat shrimp. | 告诉他 我吃”任吃虾”有多厉害 |
| [07:25] | That red lobster hates me — tell him. | 那些红色龙虾恨我 告诉他 |
| [07:27] | – No. – Fine. | -不 -好 |
| [07:28] | If you’re not gonna tell him about me, | 如果你不跟他说起我 |
| [07:30] | at least tell me about him. | 至少跟我说说他吧 |
| [07:31] | All I can tell you is he likes cheesesteaks and the Cowboys. | 我只能告诉你 他喜欢牛肉芝士三明治和牛仔队 |
| [07:35] | That’s all you know about him? | 你就了解他这么多吗 |
| [07:36] | Oh! He also likes John Denver. | 他还喜欢约翰·丹沃[歌手] |
| [07:39] | Perfect. | 太好了 |
| [07:41] | Who are you? Dr. Doom? | 你谁啊 末日博士吗 |
| [07:42] | And so my brother was scheming to win over Bill. | 于是我哥密谋赢得比尔的好感 |
| [07:45] | Meanwhile, my mom was about to get wise to my scheme. | 与此同时 我妈马上要识破我的骗局了 |
| [07:48] | Got a package for Papa Smurfenstein. | 蓝精灵斯特恩爸爸的包裹 |
| [07:50] | I think you’ve got the wrong address. | 我想地址错了 |
| [07:51] | I suppose that means there’s also | 我想这意味着 |
| [07:53] | – no Inspector Gidget? – No. | -没有神探吉洁特 -没有 |
| [07:55] | – Gary Grayskull? – No. | -加里·骷髅王 -没 |
| [07:56] | – Snake Plotkin? – No. | -斯内克·普洛特金 -没 |
| [07:57] | – Ivan Drago? – No. | -伊凡·德拉戈 -没 |
| [07:59] | – John Mcclaneberg? – No. | -约翰·麦克连伯格 -没 |
| [08:00] | – Hulk Hulkerstein? – No. | -无敌浩克·浩克尔斯特恩 -没 |
| [08:02] | – General Zod? – No. | -佐德将军[大反派] -没 |
| [08:03] | Jean Claude Van Thunderdome? | 尚格·雷云顿 |
| [08:05] | – What’s going on? – Let me guess. | -出什么事了 -我来猜猜 |
| [08:07] | You have teenagers? | 你家有十几岁的孩子对吗 |
| [08:08] | Well, one of them’s been using | 其中有一个 |
| [08:10] | a lot of fake names to get free tapes. | 用假名获取免费磁带 |
| [08:12] | Well, I think it’s obvious who’s responsible. | 我知道要负责的是谁 |
| [08:15] | – Me?! – Yes, you. | -我 -对 你 |
| [08:16] | Who else would it be? | 否则还能是谁 |
| [08:18] | Kermit D. Fonz? | 克米特·D·方兹 |
| [08:19] | That’s got Adam written all over it. | 这明显就是亚当会取的名字 |
| [08:21] | – You expect me to believe that Adam did this? – Yes. | -你指望我相信这是亚当做的 -对 |
| [08:24] | – Adam? – Adam. | -亚当 -亚当 |
| [08:25] | My delicious little snuggle monster? | 我可口的小抱抱怪怪 |
| [08:27] | – Yes, Adam. – Adam? | -对 亚当 -亚当 |
| [08:28] | He’s guilty. Tell her you’re guilty. | 他有罪 告诉她你有罪 |
| [08:30] | Why does she say these things, mama? | 她为什么这样说 妈 |
| [08:32] | I’m just a little boy. | 我只是一个小男孩 |
| [08:34] | See? He has an alibi. He’s a little boy. | 瞧 他有不在场证明 他是个小男孩 |
| [08:37] | Why do you always blame me for everything? | 你为什么总是所有事都怪我 |
| [08:39] | Just open the box and look at the tapes, | 打开盒子看磁带 |
| [08:41] | and you’ll see it wasn’t me. | 你就会知道不是我 |
| [08:45] | Weird Al, “the songs of ‘fraggle rock,'” | 古怪阿尔 木偶也摇滚之歌 |
| [08:47] | “The best of Andrew Lloyd Webber,” | 安德鲁·洛伊德·韦伯精选 |
| [08:49] | And, finally, “101 farts, volume 2.” | 最后 101屁 第二辑 |
| [08:55] | Hope it was worth it, Erica. You’re grounded for a month. | 希望这是值得的 爱丽卡 禁足你一个月 |
| [08:58] | No phone, no crimper. | 没电话 没卷发器 |
| [08:59] | A month with smooth hair? Are you crazy? | 一个月的直头发 你疯了吗 |
| [09:03] | Tell her! | 告诉她 |
| [09:04] | Okay, fine. I-It really was me. | 好的 真的是我 |
| [09:06] | I-It was such a good deal. | 这是很合算的买卖 |
| [09:08] | I got caught in the heat of the moment. | 我一时头脑发热 |
| [09:10] | Which is also a song I got for a fraction of a penny. | 这也是我花不到一分钱买到的一首歌的歌名 |
| [09:12] | Shh, you don’t have to lie for her anymore. | 你不必再为她说谎 |
| [09:15] | – Seriously? – What? | -你不是吧 -什么 |
| [09:16] | Let mama make you a banana split. | 妈妈给你做香蕉船 |
| [09:18] | Okay? You get nothing. | 好吗 你什么也没有 |
| [09:21] | Oof, tough break. | 运气真不好 |
| [09:24] | Take Sheila E. for your troubles. | 希拉·E的给你 补偿你 |
| [09:26] | This is ridiculous. | 太荒唐了 |
| [09:28] | Why do I always get blamed | 为什么家里有坏事 |
| [09:29] | for everything that goes wrong in this house? | 总是怪到我头上 |
| [09:31] | ‘Cause you do most of it. | 因为大多数坏事是你做的 |
| [09:33] | You know, if mom thinks I’m so bad, | 如果妈觉得我这么坏 |
| [09:34] | maybe it’s time to show her how bad I can really be. | 也许是时候让她看看我能有多坏 |
| [09:39] | Wait, this was you holding back? | 等等 你之前还算乖吗 |
| [09:42] | Oh, this is not good. | 这下可糟了 |
| [09:44] | Tired of being labeled in an the troublemaker, | 厌倦了被贴上惹事鬼的标签 |
| [09:46] | My sister decided to live up to her name. | 我姐决定不再枉担虚名 |
| [09:49] | Wow, yeah, okay. | 好的 |
| [09:50] | Let’s do this. Let’s shoplift. | 我们来吧 商店行窃 |
| [09:52] | Trust me — it’s super fun and easy. | 相信我 超级开心而且简单 |
| [09:54] | And also the only thing that really makes me feel alive. | 也是唯一让我感到有活力的事 |
| [09:57] | Ooh! Fanny packs. | 腰包 |
| [09:58] | I mean, how much worse is shoplifting than scamming Columbia house anyway? | 商店行窃比欺诈哥伦比亚屋糟糕多少 |
| [10:01] | Getting 12 tapes for a penny | 一分钱得到12盒磁带 |
| [10:02] | is like the same thing as shoplifting. | 这和商店行窃没什么区别 |
| [10:04] | Just a tip — | 给点建议 |
| [10:05] | Maybe don’t say “shoplifting” so much while you’re shoplifting. | 商店行窃时不要说这么多的”商店行窃” |
| [10:08] | Right, gotcha. | 对 明白 |
| [10:10] | ‘Cause we’re not shoplifting, | 因为我们没有商店行窃 |
| [10:11] | which is, by the way, totally a victimless crime. | 顺便说下 这是无受害者的犯罪 |
| [10:14] | I’m hearing a lot of justifying and not a lot of stealing. | 别光说不偷啊 |
| [10:17] | Catch up, girl. | 跟上点 姑娘 |
| [10:19] | Yep, my sister was ready for a life of crime | 对 我姐准备好开始犯罪生涯 |
| [10:21] | just as Barry was preparing to steal Bill’s heart. | 而巴瑞正准备偷走比尔的心 |
| [10:24] | Gentlemen! | 先生们 |
| [10:26] | Thought you might like to load up on some meat and cheese | 想着也许你们想在大太阳下运动一天前 |
| [10:28] | before an active day in the hot sun. | 先来点牛肉加芝士 |
| [10:30] | You’re a fan, right, Bill? | 你喜欢这个 对吗 比尔 |
| [10:31] | Of Geno’s cheesesteaks. You bought Pat’s. | 我喜欢吉洛家的 你买的是帕特家的 |
| [10:34] | Why not just punch me in the face? | 你不如直接揍我脸 |
| [10:35] | Aren’t they directly across the street from each other | 他们两家不是在街上门对门 |
| [10:38] | with the exact same ingredients? | 用的材料也都一样吗 |
| [10:39] | Go on — punch my face. Do it. | 来吧 揍我的脸 |
| [10:41] | Or we go to the Eagles-Cowboys game. | 或是我们去看鹰队和牛仔队的比赛 |
| [10:44] | 50-yard line, root for America’s team? | 50码线位置 为”美国的队伍”加油 |
| [10:47] | I thought you were a diehard Eagles fan. | 你不是鹰队的死忠粉吗 |
| [10:48] | Until I discovered the Cowboys, | 直到我发现了牛仔队 |
| [10:50] | my other favorite team, which happens to be yours. | 另一支我最爱的队伍 也是你的最爱 |
| [10:53] | You’re gonna turn on the Eagles just like that? | 你就这样背叛鹰队吗 |
| [10:54] | Son, don’t you have any spine at all? | 孩子 你完全没有骨气吗 |
| [10:57] | No. But you know what I do have? | 没 但你知道我有什么吗 |
| [10:59] | Matching bucket hats! | 配对渔夫帽 |
| [11:02] | – Why? – Oh, no. | -为什么 -不好 |
| [11:03] | ‘Cause you love Bob Denver. | 因为你喜欢鲍勃·丹沃 |
| [11:04] | You know, Gilligan, from the Island. | 吉利根 《吉利根岛》的那个 |
| [11:06] | – What? – He’s my favorite, too. | -什么 -我也最喜欢他 |
| [11:08] | I don’t like Bob Denver. I like John Denver. | 我不喜欢鲍勃·丹沃 我喜欢约翰·丹沃 |
| [11:10] | – Is there a difference? – Oh, no. | -有区别吗 -不好 |
| [11:12] | Yes, one is folk icon who melts my heart. | 有 一个是融化我心的民谣偶像 |
| [11:15] | The other is a scrawny weirdo | 另一个是骨瘦如柴的怪人 |
| [11:17] | who couldn’t close with Ginger or Mary Ann. | 和金杰以及玛丽安的关系不清不楚 |
| [11:20] | I totally know the difference. | 我完全知道区别 |
| [11:22] | I’m just busting chops. | 我只是惹人嫌而已 |
| [11:23] | I just got you this hat so your head won’t burn. | 我为你准备了帽子 这样你的头不会晒伤 |
| [11:25] | Are you calling me bald? | 你是说我秃头吗 |
| [11:26] | No, you have a beautiful head of hair. | 不 你有一头美丽的秀发 |
| [11:29] | On the sides. | 在头部两侧 |
| [11:29] | You look like a judge. | 你看起来像法官 |
| [11:31] | Well, it’s almost tee time. | 高尔夫球时间快到了 |
| [11:32] | Come on, Barry. You’re gonna come with us today. | 巴瑞 你今天和我们一起去 |
| [11:34] | – He is? – I am? | -是吗 -是吗 |
| [11:35] | Yeah, I invited the boy to join us. | 对 我邀请他和我们一起去 |
| [11:37] | – You did? – You did? | -是吗 -是吗 |
| [11:38] | Yeah, Barry and I play golf all the time. | 巴瑞和我总是一起打高尔夫 |
| [11:40] | It’s our thing. | 这是我们的活动 |
| [11:41] | I’ve never golfed with you, not once. | 我从来没和你打过 一次也没有 |
| [11:42] | Moron, I’m doing you a solid. | 白痴 我在帮你忙 |
| [11:45] | Don’t blow this. | 别搞砸了 |
| [11:48] | My dad did Barry the rare solid. | 我爸难得帮巴瑞一个忙 |
| [11:50] | Now all Barry had to do was drive it home with Bill. | 现在巴瑞要做的 就是在比尔前好好表现 |
| [11:55] | Ah, golf. The sport of kings. | 高尔夫 体育界的国王 |
| [11:58] | And queens — equal rights. | 还有皇后 男女平等 |
| [12:00] | I respect your foxy daughter. | 我尊重你美艳的女儿 |
| [12:02] | No, not foxy — she’s an uggo to me. | 不是美艳 我觉得她很丑 |
| [12:04] | Not everyone else. | 其他人不这样想 |
| [12:06] | They all think she has an awesome, plump butt. | 他们都觉得她的屁股漂亮丰满 |
| [12:09] | What the man? | 放什么屁 |
| [12:12] | Okay, you’re trying way too hard. | 你太刻意了 |
| [12:15] | I get it — be myself. | 我明白 做我自己 |
| [12:16] | No, don’t do that either. | 不 也别这样做 |
| [12:17] | Wild Bill! | 疯狂比尔 |
| [12:19] | – You need a caddy? – There he is. | -需要球童吗 -他在这里 |
| [12:21] | Anthony Balsamo’s here? | 安东尼·巴尔萨莫在这里 |
| [12:22] | I can’t compete with him. He’s a total babe. | 我没法和他比 他是金童 |
| [12:24] | Relax, you’re playing golf with Bill. | 放轻松 你是和比尔打球 |
| [12:27] | – He’s just the caddy. – You’re right. | -他只是球童 -你说得对 |
| [12:29] | He’s the caddy — the guy behind the guy. | 他是球童 男人背后的男人 |
| [12:31] | He’s the one in Bill’s ear whispering sweet advice. | 他在比尔的耳边说些甜美的建议 |
| [12:34] | – That’s what I got to do. – Not what I meant. | -这应该是我做的 -我不是这意思 |
| [12:35] | Hey, pretty boy. Take a lap, I got this. | 小白脸 走开 这里有我 |
| [12:40] | Just give me a sec. I’ll catch up. | 给我点时间 我能赶上 |
| [12:53] | Hey, I got a package for Lucky Goldberg. | 幸运·金伯格的包裹 |
| [12:55] | Gonna need your signature. | 需要签名 |
| [12:56] | Yeah, Lucky’s a dog. | 幸运是条狗 |
| [12:57] | Then I don’t know what to do. | 那我不知道怎么办 |
| [12:59] | Please don’t slam the door. | 请别摔门 |
| [13:01] | The nerve of that Erica. | 爱丽卡好大的胆子 |
| [13:02] | First she frames her brother, | 先是栽赃弟弟 |
| [13:03] | and then she ropes in our sweet little puppy. | 现在又陷害我们可爱的小狗狗 |
| [13:06] | You’re not cut out for a life of crime. | 你哪是犯罪的料 |
| [13:07] | You’re just a cockapoo. | 你只是一只卷毛狗 |
| [13:09] | I ordered the tapes. | 磁带是我订的 |
| [13:10] | I mean, it’s like that girl doesn’t ever hear a word I say. | 好像这姑娘从来不听我说的话 |
| [13:13] | I ordered the tapes. | 磁带是我订的 |
| [13:14] | She’s my daughter. | 她是我的女儿 |
| [13:15] | How come she refuses to listen to me? | 她怎么能拒绝听我的话 |
| [13:18] | My god, woman. I ordered the damn tapes. | 我的天 女人 这些磁带是我订的 |
| [13:21] | I saw Adam do it, and I wanted in. | 我看亚当这样做 我也想加入 |
| [13:24] | Wait. It was you? | 慢着 是你吗 |
| [13:26] | With that, my mom finally realized | 就这样 我妈终于意识到 |
| [13:28] | she did blame Erica for everything, | 她的确所有事都怪爱丽卡 |
| [13:30] | even when she was clearly innocent. | 哪怕在她明显无辜的时候 |
| [13:32] | Uh, mom? | 妈 |
| [13:33] | It’s for you. Erica’s in mall jail. | 找你的 爱丽卡在商场监狱 |
| [13:36] | And two seconds later, Erica was back to being guilty. | 两秒钟后 爱丽卡又被打回了有罪的原形 |
| [13:40] | I stole something else, but you’re never gonna find it. | 我还偷了些东西 但你永远找不到 |
| [13:43] | Your friend’s weird. | 你的朋友很奇怪 |
| [13:46] | There you are. | 瞧你 |
| [13:47] | Classic Erica. | 典型的爱丽卡 |
| [13:49] | You know, I actually started to think | 我本来开始想 |
| [13:50] | maybe I’d been too hard on you, and then you go and shoplift? | 也许我对你太严格了 结果你在商店行窃 |
| [13:53] | And the worst thing is I’m not even surprised. | 最糟糕的是 我甚至不意外 |
| [13:56] | Actually, your daughter didn’t do anything wrong. | 你女儿并没有做错什么 |
| [13:59] | I was just having her stick around | 我只是让她留在这里 |
| [14:00] | because this one is freaking me out. | 因为这个家伙把我吓着了 |
| [14:02] | It’s true. | 是真的 |
| [14:03] | Erica tried to talk me out of it, and I didn’t listen. | 爱丽卡想劝我来着 但我不听 |
| [14:06] | Oh, god, my stomach’s in knots. | 我的天 我的肚子好痛 |
| [14:08] | Can I use the bathroom? | 我可以上厕所吗 |
| [14:10] | This way. | 这边 |
| [14:11] | Accusing Erica yet again didn’t help matters. | 再次指责爱丽卡对事情并没有帮助 |
| [14:14] | Luckily, my mom had a way with words. | 好在 我妈能言善道 |
| [14:16] | So… | 那么 |
| [14:19] | Honest mistake, you know? | 无心之失 明白吗 |
| [14:22] | Pedicures, my treat? | 我请你修脚怎么样 |
| [14:24] | You know, you made me feel like such a bad person | 你让我觉得我是个大坏人 |
| [14:26] | that I actually thought about stealing. | 我真的想过偷东西 |
| [14:28] | Schmoo, I’m sorry — | 宝贝 对不起 |
| [14:29] | I don’t want to hear you’re sorry ever again. | 我再也不想听到你说对不起 |
| [14:32] | No matter what I do, | 无论我做什么 |
| [14:34] | you’re always gonna expect the worst from me. | 你总是觉得我会做错事 |
| [14:37] | You have no idea how hard that is coming from you. | 你不知道你说这话有多伤人 |
| [14:42] | No idea. | 不知道 |
| [14:47] | You’ll never catch me, mall hog! | 你永远抓不到我 商场猪 |
| [14:49] | I feel so alive! | 人生真美好 |
| [14:54] | Even though Bill Lewis was having the round of his life, | 尽管比尔·路易斯打出了人生中的好成绩 |
| [14:56] | my brother was having no luck breaking the ice. | 但我哥却没有幸运地打破僵局 |
| [14:59] | Being a caddy sucks. | 做球童差劲死了 |
| [15:02] | All Bill wants me to do is wash his balls and hold his bag. | 比尔只是让我洗球背包 |
| [15:05] | It’s funny but hard work. | 很有趣但是太辛苦了 |
| [15:06] | I told you not to caddy for him. | 我跟你说了不要做他的球童 |
| [15:08] | I messed this whole thing up. | 我搞砸了 |
| [15:09] | I’ll never get another shot with Bill. | 我和比尔没机会了 |
| [15:12] | All right. I’m gonna help you. | 好吧 我会帮你 |
| [15:14] | – For real? – Yeah. | -真的吗 -是的 |
| [15:15] | But this counts as your birthday present. | 但这算是你的生日礼物 |
| [15:17] | Hey, Bill. Tweaked my shoulder. | 比尔 我的肩膀扭了 |
| [15:19] | Barry’s gonna finish the round for me. | 巴瑞会帮我打完 |
| [15:22] | Gonna use a driver on this one. | 这次要用木头杆 |
| [15:24] | You’re 60 yards out. | 你只离60码 |
| [15:25] | Don’t use my expensive driver for this chip shot. | 近穴击球别用我昂贵的木头杆 |
| [15:27] | Unh-unh-unh-unh, no talking in my backswing. | 慢着 我准备时不要说话 |
| [15:30] | I learned that after I did it to you three times. | 我打扰你三次后学到了这点 |
| [15:33] | It was now or never. | 只此一次机会 |
| [15:35] | Barry would have to dig down deep inside himself | 巴瑞必须发掘潜能 |
| [15:37] | and do the impossible. | 完成不可能的事 |
| [15:43] | Son of a bitch. | 狗娘养的 |
| [15:44] | That’s about right. | 这就对了 |
| [15:46] | It’s okay. I got this. | 没事 有我 |
| [15:49] | Way colder than I thought. | 比我想的冷多了 |
| [15:51] | As Barry desperately flailed in that murky golf pond, | 巴瑞绝望地在黑暗的球场池塘里扑腾时 |
| [15:55] | my dad realized the kid really needed a life preserver. | 我爸意识到这孩子需要一个救生圈 |
| [15:58] | Starting to see why you call him moron so much. | 开始明白你为什么经常叫他白痴 |
| [16:00] | Yeah, well, the thing is | 但事实是 |
| [16:02] | he’s the sweetest moron you’d ever want to meet. | 他会是你最想认识的最好的白痴 |
| [16:05] | And he loves your daughter — | 他爱你的女儿 |
| [16:06] | So much that he’d do anything to impress you. | 太爱了 他愿意做任何事来取悦你 |
| [16:10] | I’m feeling around with my feet. | 我用脚到处摸 |
| [16:11] | It’s mostly old golf balls | 主要是以前掉进来的球 |
| [16:13] | and something with scales that’s not afraid of humans. | 还有长鳞的不怕人的东西 |
| [16:15] | So, please, cut the kid some slack. | 所以求你了 放这孩子一马 |
| [16:20] | I think I drowned a little. | 我想我溺水了 |
| [16:22] | It was a very peaceful feeling. | 是一种非常平静的感觉 |
| [16:24] | I saw my old gerbil. I’m going back in. | 我看到了我以前养的沙鼠 我再去找 |
| [16:28] | There’s my baby. | 我的宝贝回来了 |
| [16:30] | I made you your favorite — cheeseburger lasagna. | 我做了你的最爱 芝士汉堡千层面 |
| [16:32] | Pass. | 不吃 |
| [16:33] | I don’t want to get blamed if you burn it, | 我不想你烤焦了怪我头上 |
| [16:35] | so I’ll just eat a lunchable. | 我吃午餐方便盒好了 |
| [16:38] | But… Those are for lunch. | 但是 这是午餐吃的 |
| [16:40] | It’s the wrong meal. | 这是错误的饭菜 |
| [16:42] | Wow, you really have failed as a mother. | 哇 你这个当妈的真是太失败了 |
| [16:44] | Hey. I’m the only one allowed to say that. | 只有我可以这样说 |
| [16:47] | Well, it’s true. | 这是真的 |
| [16:48] | You punished Erica for something I did, | 你因为我做的事惩罚爱丽卡 |
| [16:50] | almost turning her to a life a crime. | 差点令她走上犯罪的道路 |
| [16:52] | If that ain’t failing, I don’t know what is. | 如果这不算失败 那我不知道什么是 |
| [16:54] | Oh, you’re right. | 你是对的 |
| [16:56] | I want to tell her I’m sorry, | 我想跟她道歉 |
| [16:57] | but she refuses to hear it from me. | 但她拒绝听我说 |
| [16:59] | It dawned on me that I could finally use my crime for good. | 我发现 我终于可以让我的罪行变成好事 |
| [17:03] | Maybe there’s someone else who can say it. | 也许有其他人可以说出来 |
| [17:06] | Thanks to my scam, | 多亏了我的骗局 |
| [17:07] | there was one tape that was worth every penny. | 才有了一张每分钱都没浪费的专辑 |
| [17:10] | And it was the perfect way to say “I’m sorry.” | 它是完美的道歉方式 |
| [17:13] | Honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [17:14] | Go away. | 走开 |
| [17:15] | I’m trying to enjoy my four crackers and ham square. | 我正尝试享受四块饼干和火腿块 |
| [17:18] | Look. | 听着 |
| [17:19] | I don’t blame for acting out after the way I treated you. | 在我那样对你后 你这种表现我不怪你 |
| [17:22] | I really don’t want to talk right now — or ever. | 我现在真不想谈 永远也不想谈 |
| [17:26] | Well, you don’t have to | 你不必说什么 |
| [17:28] | because I found a band that’ll do it for us. | 我找到一个乐队 可以替我们说 |
| [17:34] | Sure, Columbia house drove erica and my mom far apart. | 没错 哥伦比亚屋令我妈和我姐有了嫌隙 |
| [17:37] | But it would also bring them closer than ever. | 但也会令她们前所未有的亲近 |
| [17:40] | * Everybody needs a little time away * | 所有人都需要离开一段时间 |
| [17:43] | No, not Chicago. | 不 别用芝加哥乐队的歌 |
| [17:45] | * I heard her say * | 我听到她说 |
| [17:47] | Stop doing what you’re doing. | 别再这样做 |
| [17:48] | * Far away from their mother * | 远离他们的母亲 |
| [17:53] | Don’t make the words about you. | 别把歌词改成是唱你的 |
| [17:55] | – * Hold me, schmoo* – This is a nightmare. | -抱着我 宝贝 -这是噩梦 |
| [17:57] | * It’s hard for me to say I’m sorry * | 抱歉的话 很难说出口 |
| [18:01] | * I just want you to stay * | 我只想你留下 |
| [18:05] | This is the worst. | 最差劲了 |
| [18:08] | * After all that we’ve been through * | 我们一起经历了那么多 |
| [18:12] | * I will make it up to you * | 我会补偿你 |
| [18:16] | * I promise to * | 我发誓我会 |
| [18:21] | * And after all that’s been said and done * | 说了那么多 做了那么多 |
| [18:26] | * You’re just the part of me I can’t let go * | 你是我的一部分 我无法放手 |
| [18:32] | And with the help of one soft-rock band, | 在一个慢摇乐队的帮助下 |
| [18:34] | my mom was truly able to say sorry. | 我妈真正地说出了”对不起” |
| [18:38] | * Couldn’t stand to be kept away * | 无法忍受分开 |
| [18:42] | There he is. You old son of a gun. | 他在这里 你这个小崽子 |
| [18:44] | – Are you talking to me? – Yeah. | -你在和我说话吗 -对 |
| [18:46] | Hey, sweetie. Can I have a minute with my caddy? | 亲爱的 我能和我的球童说几句吗 |
| [18:49] | No. | 不 |
| [18:52] | Be nice. | 客气点 |
| [18:58] | Listen. | 听着 |
| [19:00] | I know I’ve been hard on you, but there’s a reason. | 我知道我对你很凶 但是有原因的 |
| [19:03] | ’cause I’m not awesome like Anthony Balsamo? | 因为我没有安东尼·巴尔萨莫那么优秀吗 |
| [19:05] | No. | 不 |
| [19:06] | To tell the truth, | 说实话 |
| [19:07] | I knew those other guys were just a flash in the pan. | 我知道其他男生只是昙花一现 |
| [19:10] | But what you two have, it’s the real deal. | 但你们之间 是来真格的 |
| [19:14] | You think so? | 你这样想吗 |
| [19:15] | Yeah. It’s…Scary. | 对 这很可怕 |
| [19:19] | I guess I’m just not ready to lose my little girl. | 我想我还没准备好失去我的宝贝女儿 |
| [19:24] | But I’m gonna try to be better about it. | 但我会努力接受的 |
| [19:28] | Inspired by the girl they both loved, | 受到他们同时爱着的女生的启发 |
| [19:31] | Bill decided to start a new chapter with Barry. | 比尔决定和巴瑞开始新的篇章 |
| [19:34] | As for me, I closed the book on my life of crime. | 至于我 我合上了犯罪生涯的一页 |
| [19:37] | Not so fun getting grounded for a month, huh? | 被禁足一个月不好玩吧 |
| [19:39] | Honestly, it’s a relief. I was on a dark road. | 说实话松了口气 我走上了一条黑道 |
| [19:42] | Farewell, Garth Vaderstein. | 永别了 达斯·维达斯特恩 |
| [19:44] | Nice knowing you. | 很高兴认识你 |
| [19:45] | Don’t talk to him, Erica. He’s grounded. | 别跟他说话 爱丽卡 他被禁足了 |
| [19:48] | You know, you could learn a thing or two from you big sister. | 你可以向你的大姐学学 |
| [19:51] | And my mom finally turned a new page with Erica. | 我妈终于和爱丽卡也翻开了新的一页 |
| [19:54] | I really could. | 我可以 |
| [19:56] | Made you a banana split. | 给你做了香蕉船 |
| [19:58] | You get nothing. | 你什么都没有 |
| [20:01] | Hey, jailbird. Want to split this? | 小囚犯 想分着吃吗 |
| [20:03] | I would like that. | 我太愿意了 |
| [20:04] | Growing up, we’re all seen a certain way. | 成长过程中 我们都给人留下特定的印象 |
| [20:07] | Yes! Mark it down — octuple bogey! | 太棒了 记下来 八倍高一杆 |
| [20:11] | But the people you love always see you for who you really are. | 但你爱的人 在他们眼中你永远就是你 |
| [20:16] | – He’s a moron. – He really is. | -他是个白痴 -没错 |
| [20:18] | And that’s something worth celebrating. | 这是值得庆祝的 |
| [20:24] | This is my tapes, my other tapes. | 这是我的磁带 其他的磁带 |
| [20:32] | Welcome to Contempo Casuals. | 欢迎来到风靡休闲服店 |
| [20:34] | Did you find all the hot styles you were looking for today? | 你们找到了今天想要的时髦款式了吗 |
| [20:36] | What? Since when do you work here? | 什么 你什么时候开始在这里上班的 |
| [20:38] | I had no choice. | 我别无选择 |
| [20:40] | I’m into Columbia house — deep. | 我落入了哥伦比亚屋的圈套 出不来了 |
| [20:42] | They send me letters every day. I owe them hundreds. | 他们每天寄信给我 我借他们几百块 |
| [20:45] | I told you to read the fine print, Dave Kim. | 我跟你说了要看小号字 金戴夫 |
| [20:47] | Shh! Don’t say my name! | 别叫我的名字 |
| [20:49] | They have agents everywhere. | 到处都有他们的特工 |
| [20:51] | Look, that girl checking out the stirrup pants. | 看 那个看健美踏脚裤的女生 |
| [20:53] | She’s here for me. | 她是来找我的 |
| [20:53] | I don’t have your money, man. | 我没钱给你 老天 |
| [20:55] | I’ll get it! Just give me time! | 我会有的 但要给我时间 |
| [20:58] | I need more time. | 我需要更多的时间 |