| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | The ’80s was a golden age of advertising, | 八十年代是广告的黄金年代 |
| [00:02] | – filled with famous faces. – Oh, hi, Vern. | -电视上满是熟悉面孔 -弗恩 |
| [00:04] | They talked fast and pitched to us every day. | 每天都语速很快地向我们推销商品 |
| [00:06] | Hello. I’m Orville Redenbacher. | 您好 我是奥维尔·雷登巴赫尔 |
| [00:08] | Mikey liked it! | 麦基喜欢吃 |
| [00:09] | – He liked it! – And the “Where’s the Beef?” lady | -他喜欢吃 -和那个”牛肉在哪”阿婆 |
| [00:11] | needed to know exactly where the beef was. | 她非要知道牛肉到底在哪 |
| [00:13] | Hey, where’s the beef? | 牛肉在哪 |
| [00:15] | And there were local pitchmen, like Crazy Eddie. | 还有像疯狂艾迪这样的地方电视推销员 |
| [00:17] | It’s Crazy Eddie’s greatest Fourth of July sale ever! | 这是疯狂艾迪力度最大的国庆节大特卖 |
| [00:19] | Even Jenkintown had its own commercial celebrity — | 就连珍金镇也有我们自己的广告明星 |
| [00:21] | my dad’s competition, the Formica King. | 我爸的竞争对手 富美家王 |
| [00:24] | Are you looking for a bed, a table, a wall unit?! | 您想买床 桌子 组合壁橱吗 |
| [00:27] | He was wild, kooky, and the bane of my dad’s existence. | 他狂野 古怪 是我爸的痛苦之源 |
| [00:30] | Come see me, Formica Mike, the Formica King! | 来找我 富美家·迈克 富美家王 |
| [00:34] | We got deep discounts on all your favorite brightly-colored | 你喜欢的明亮色彩太空时代层压板家具 |
| [00:36] | furniture in space-age laminates! | 我们都有深度折扣 |
| [00:39] | And we’re slaying the competition! | 我们远远强过竞争对手 |
| [00:41] | *Furniture deals on everything* | *所有家具都打折* |
| [00:44] | *Come on down to the Formica King* | *快来找富美家王* |
| [00:45] | 富美家王 珍金镇柳树街1212号 | |
| [00:48] | Ask for me! Mike! Or Luis | 就找我 迈克 找路易斯也行 |
| [00:51] | He works here, too! | 他也在这工作 |
| [00:52] | The Formica King’s an authorized Formica laminate dealer. | 富美家王是富美家胶木板的授权经销商 |
| [00:56] | Are you humming the jingle of my sworn enemy? | 你在哼唱我死敌的广告歌吗 |
| [00:59] | No. Totally unrelated. | 不是 完全是另一首歌 |
| [01:01] | – Formica King! – All right, that’s it. | -富美家王 -够了 |
| [01:03] | I’m sleeping on the couch. | 我去沙发上睡 |
| [01:05] | My dad hated the Formica King | 我爸恨死富美家王了 |
| [01:06] | and couldn’t get away from him. | 可走到哪都能看到他的身影 |
| [01:08] | Look! The Formica King has a regal summer sale! | 快看 富美家王要办皇家夏日特卖了 |
| [01:11] | Big kingdom furniture for lil’ kingdom prices. | 大王国的家具只卖小王国的价格 |
| [01:13] | Murray, you gotta hit this schmuck back | 默里 你得快点反击 |
| [01:15] | before he drives us out of business. | 不然我们就要被挤兑停业了 |
| [01:17] | Dammit, I know! | 该死的 我知道 |
| [01:18] | My dad had to make his own commercial, | 我爸不得不拍条自己的广告 |
| [01:20] | and there was only one geek who could save him. | 只有一个极客能救他于水火 |
| [01:22] | I never thought I’d say this, | 我从没想过我会说这句话 |
| [01:23] | but bring me Adam. | 叫亚当过来 |
| [01:25] | I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life. | 我这辈子都在等这一刻 |
| [01:27] | I know your taste. It’ll be quick and simple. | 你了解你的喜好 广告会又短又简单 |
| [01:29] | Also, you’ll be sitting. | 你坐着拍就行 |
| [01:31] | I like this idea. | 我喜欢这主意 |
| [01:32] | Or — and I’m just talking out loud here — | 或者 你们就当我在自言自语 |
| [01:34] | what if instead of simple, | 如果我们不拍简单的 |
| [01:36] | we made it incredibly complicated? | 而是拍得极为复杂呢 |
| [01:38] | – I’m listening. – No, no. | -接着说 -不行 |
| [01:39] | Do not encourage him. | 别给他煽风点火 |
| [01:41] | Yep, my dad’s brother and unreliable employee Marvin. | 没错 我爸的弟弟兼靠不住的员工马文 |
| [01:44] | Let the selling begin! | 开始卖家具吧 |
| [01:45] | He was full of bad ideas, | 他满脑子蠢主意 |
| [01:46] | and my dad hated all of them. | 每个都让我爸深恶痛疾 |
| [01:48] | We have an opportunity here to make the biggest, | 我们有这个机会拍广告史上 |
| [01:50] | most expensive furniture commercial ever, okay? | 最宏大花销最大的家居广告 |
| [01:52] | I’m talking about explosions, car chases, furniture girls. | 我指的是爆炸 追车 家具女郎 |
| [01:56] | There’s no such thing as furniture girls. | 哪有家具女郎这种东西 |
| [01:58] | Uncle Marvin’s right. We should probably go big. | 马文叔叔说得对 我们或许该来个大手笔 |
| [02:00] | – So big! – And loud! | -又大 -又嘈杂 |
| [02:01] | – And sexy! – Go away! | -又性感 -你走开 |
| [02:03] | – We can set it in space! – Space! | -我们可以去太空拍 -太空 |
| [02:05] | No space! | 太什么空 |
| [02:06] | And animals. We need animals. | 还要动物 我们需要动物 |
| [02:08] | The deadlier the better. | 越致命的越好 |
| [02:09] | Yes, people respond to fear. | 没错 人们对恐惧的反应很强 |
| [02:10] | Not furniture buyers. | 家具买家不需要恐惧 |
| [02:11] | And we need epic stunts. | 我们需要史诗级的特技 |
| [02:13] | How many sleeper sofas can you jump in a monster truck? | 你能往怪物卡车里塞多少张沙发床 |
| [02:15] | Well, if we load it up with rocket fuel, an infinite amount! | 如果装满火箭燃料的话 想塞多少塞多少 |
| [02:17] | When you’re done, we’ll do it my way. | 你们发完疯后照我的风格拍 |
| [02:19] | Knock yourselves out. | 你们自娱吧 |
| [02:20] | That’s it. | 我想到了 |
| [02:22] | We wrap the whole thing up | 我们就用《洛奇》里 |
| [02:23] | with a Rocky Balboa/ Apollo Creed final freeze frame. | 他和阿波罗·克里德最后的静止画面 |
| [02:26] | Let’s rehearse it. | 我们来排练一下 |
| [02:26] | Well, I don’t usually rehearse, but okay. | 我通常都不排练 但好吧[模仿史泰龙] |
| [02:43] | It was November 1, 1980-something, | 那是一九八几年的十一月一日 |
| [02:45] | and my brother was about to bust some moves. | 我哥正打算和女生搭讪 |
| [02:47] | Look at this. | 快看看 |
| [02:49] | The KFC has come to hang out under the bleachers. | KFC的小伙子们来看台下玩了 |
| [02:51] | – No, it’s the JTP. – JTP! | -不 我们是JTP -JTP |
| [02:53] | And it’s your lucky day, ’cause Big Tasty | 今天你走运了 因为我大甜甜 |
| [02:55] | cordially invites you to have dinner with him | 诚挚邀请你和我一起去 |
| [02:57] | at Jenkintown’s most exclusive, romantic eatery. | 珍金镇最小众最浪漫的餐厅吃饭 |
| [03:00] | Tony Roma’s! Place for ribs! | 多利萝玛 排骨之家 |
| [03:02] | All right, bleacher creatures. | 好了 看台怪物们 |
| [03:03] | Stop being all sketchy and get to class. | 别在这里鬼鬼祟祟的 都上课去吧 |
| [03:05] | Nice try, dude. | 想得美 伙计 |
| [03:07] | Mr. Glascott, | 格拉斯科特老师 |
| [03:08] | I was about to go out with Jamie Weisman for ribs. | 我正要请杰米·韦斯曼一起去吃排骨 |
| [03:11] | Everyone knows that’s the most romantic part of the pig. | 人人都知道那是猪身上最浪漫的部分 |
| [03:13] | Except for the heart. | 除了心 |
| [03:14] | Actually, I saved you. | 其实我这是救了你 |
| [03:15] | Seriously, man, you were going down in flames. | 说真的 伙计 你差点引火自焚 |
| [03:17] | Trust me, I know. | 相信我 我有经验 |
| [03:19] | You do know. | 你的确有经验 |
| [03:20] | Hey, it’s different when I say it. | 这话我能说你不能说 |
| [03:22] | That’s the third girl this week who shot me down. | 这是我这周第三次被女生拒绝了 |
| [03:25] | Don’t these smoking hot scrubs | 这些自以为是的辣妹们 |
| [03:27] | know I dated Lainey for three years? | 不知道我和兰妮交往了三年吗 |
| [03:29] | Don’t ask me, dude. | 别问我 哥们 |
| [03:30] | I haven’t talked to a girl | 我最后一次和女生说话 |
| [03:31] | since my piano teacher told me to stop calling her. | 是我钢琴老师叫我别再打电话给她 |
| [03:33] | It’s like the only people who see me naked now are you guys. | 好像现在欣赏我裸体的只剩你们了 |
| [03:35] | I used to have great luck with women, | 我过去女生缘很好 |
| [03:36] | but it all dried up when I started hanging out with you dudes. | 但加入你们后就一个妹子都没了 |
| [03:38] | Coincidence, Matthew. | 那是巧合 马修 |
| [03:40] | Man, I do not miss being single. | 我一点都不怀念单身生活 |
| [03:41] | I’m just so happy I have Erica, ya know? | 我真高兴我有爱丽卡 |
| [03:43] | – You’re so lame, Geoff. – We don’t have to hear it. | -你逊毙了 杰夫 -谁想听你秀恩爱 |
| [03:45] | Wait, that’s it! | 等等 这就是答案 |
| [03:46] | It’s been in this house the whole time! | 答案一直都在这幢房子里 |
| [03:48] | Erica’s bedroom. | 爱丽卡的卧室 |
| [03:51] | There has to be some answers in here. | 这里肯定能找到些答案 |
| [03:53] | Okay, guys, this is, like, a huge invasion of Erica’s privacy. | 大伙 这太侵犯爱丽卡的隐私了 |
| [03:55] | Dude, she’s my sister. | 哥们 她是我姐 |
| [03:57] | I know her better than anyone. | 我比任何人都了解她 |
| [03:58] | She’d do anything to help us out here. | 只要能帮上我们她什么都肯做 |
| [04:00] | Erica’s very upset and wants to talk to you. | 爱丽卡很生气 要你接电话 |
| [04:01] | Really, dude? | 不是吧你 |
| [04:02] | I know you’re her brother, but she’s really pretty. | 我知道你是她弟弟 但她实在太漂亮了 |
| [04:04] | Barry. I will say this once. | 巴瑞 这话我只说一次 |
| [04:07] | Leave my room, or I will end you. | 离开我的房间 否则我了结了你 |
| [04:10] | You are so sweet. | 你人真好 |
| [04:12] | Guys! She said, “Go for it.” | 大伙 她说”随便翻” |
| [04:14] | We’re good to go. | 我们可以开始了 |
| [04:15] | Put Geoff back on the phone right now! | 现在就把电话给杰夫 |
| [04:17] | Yo, Geoff, she says she loves you, | 杰夫 她说她爱你 |
| [04:18] | and you’re, like, totally the one. | 你就是她的真命天子 |
| [04:20] | I’ve been waiting for this moment! | 我一直在等这一刻 |
| [04:21] | If you don’t get out right now, | 如果你不立刻出去 |
| [04:23] | so help me God, I will get on a bus and — | 我向天发誓 我会乘上大巴… |
| [04:25] | No, you’re the best. | 不 你人最好 |
| [04:27] | Geoffrey, tackle Barry! | 杰夫瑞 截倒巴瑞 |
| [04:28] | – Love you. – Punch him in the nards! | -爱你 -捶他蛋蛋 |
| [04:30] | We officially have Erica’s blessing. | 我们正式拥有爱丽卡的祝福了 |
| [04:32] | Let’s do this! | 开始吧 |
| [04:33] | Naked Rob, you and I shall play the board game | 裸罗伯 你和我将一起玩桌游 |
| [04:35] | where you literally become a woman — | 游戏过程中你将真正地变成女人 |
| [04:37] | “Girl Talk.” | 《闺中密谈》 |
| [04:38] | Matthew, you take this Caboodle | 马修 你用这个小箱子里的东西 |
| [04:40] | and make friendship bracelets for all. | 给我们所有人做友谊手链 |
| [04:41] | One of you lucky bros is gonna get an anklet. | 你们中某个幸运的兄弟会得到一条脚链 |
| [04:43] | Andy, you read these Judy Blume books. | 安迪 你来读这些朱迪·布鲁姆的书 |
| [04:45] | Soak up all the teenage lady writing | 好好吸收青少年女生文学 |
| [04:47] | and see if God ever responds to Margaret. | 看看上帝最终有没有回应玛格利特 |
| [04:49] | I hope it’s a yes. | 我希望有 |
| [04:50] | Geoff Schwartz, you take Erica’s diary | 杰夫·施瓦茨 爱丽卡的日记给你 |
| [04:52] | and read her inner-most secret girl thoughts. | 阅读她心底最深处的女生秘密吧 |
| [04:54] | She’s never let me read it before! She finally trusts me! | 她以前从不让我看 她终于信任我了 |
| [04:57] | Gentlemen, our world changes today. | 先生们 我们的世界就此改变 |
| [05:00] | Let’s get feminine. | 让我们女性化起来 |
| [05:06] | Okay, our big commercial’s all done. | 好了 重要广告做好了 |
| [05:08] | Yep. There’s no story, there’s no effects, | 没错 没有情节 没有特效 |
| [05:11] | there’s no artistic expression whatsoever. | 完全没有艺术表现手法 |
| [05:13] | I’ve never been more proud of the kid in my life! | 我这辈子从没这么为这孩子骄傲过 |
| [05:15] | Are you looking for high-quality furniture at low prices? | 您想低价买到高质量家具吗 |
| [05:20] | Come on down to the Ottoman Empire — | 快来奥斯曼帝国 |
| [05:22] | Where I will personally fight high prices. | 在这里我将亲自与高价格一战 |
| [05:26] | I am the Sofa Samurai, | 我是沙发武士 |
| [05:28] | and I will erase the bloodlines of the competition! | 我会将竞争对手斩草除根 |
| [05:31] | What the hell was that? | 这是什么鬼 |
| [05:33] | Don’t ask me! Marvin taped over my commercial! | 别问我 马文重录了我的广告 |
| [05:35] | And that’s when things got weird. | 事情就此变得诡异了 |
| [05:37] | 奥斯曼帝国 武士特卖 | |
| [05:37] | My Uncle Marvin hijacked the commercial. | 马文叔叔劫持了广告 |
| [05:39] | He was a space man… | 他扮成宇航员 |
| [05:41] | …who was a lifeguard… | 还是个救生员 |
| [05:42] | No credit? No problem! | 没有信用卡 没问题 |
| [05:44] | I’ll save you! | 让我帮助你 |
| [05:45] | …who had a cyborg arm. | 还有条机械手臂 |
| [05:46] | And I’ve been rebuilt by the government | 我被政府重造 |
| [05:48] | to fight crime and high prices. | 使命是打击犯罪和高价格 |
| [05:49] | It was a disaster. | 那广告根本不能看 |
| [05:51] | So, come on down to the Ottoman Empire. | 快来奥斯曼帝国 |
| [05:53] | And bring the kids. | 带孩子们一起来 |
| [05:54] | They can swing my sword around and chop up stuff. | 他们能挥动我的武士刀乱砍东西 |
| [05:57] | Freeze, freeze. | 别动 别动 |
| [05:57] | 奥斯曼帝国 这里有沙发武士 他还是宇宙海盗和有机械手臂的帅气救生员 因为他也是个机器人 | |
| [06:00] | It was classic Marvin, | 典型的马文式添乱 |
| [06:02] | and my dad had seen enough. | 我爸受够了 |
| [06:03] | How do you do it, Marvin? | 你是怎么做到的 马文 |
| [06:04] | How do you literally screw up everything? | 你是怎样搞砸一切的 |
| [06:07] | What?! | 什么 |
| [06:08] | If anything, I spiced it up with swords | 我分明用武士刀 时间旅行和家具女郎 |
| [06:10] | and time travel and furniture girls. | 让你的广告更抢眼 |
| [06:11] | What’s their story? | 跟我说说她们 |
| [06:13] | Tiffany and Megan. They’re actually good people. | 蒂芙妮和梅根 她们其实人不错 |
| [06:14] | I hope you don’t mind. I had to pay them in chairs. | 我只能用椅子付她们薪水 希望你不介意 |
| [06:16] | I do mind! | 我介意 |
| [06:17] | You can’t just give away our furniture | 你不能把我们的家具随便送人 |
| [06:18] | and promise that kids can play with swords! | 还保证孩子们能来玩武士刀 |
| [06:20] | This is insane! | 这太疯狂了 |
| [06:22] | I’m not airing this stupidity. Ever. | 我永远不会播这条蠢广告的 |
| [06:25] | What do you-What do you mean, “Ooh”? | 你”哦”什么 |
| [06:27] | What if I told you there was a world | 如果我告诉你有个平行世界 |
| [06:29] | where people will see it or have absolutely seen it? | 人们会看到且肯定已经看过这条广告了呢 |
| [06:31] | – Which is it? – Both. | -到底是哪个 -两个都是 |
| [06:32] | I knew that you wouldn’t understand my vision, Mur, | 我知道你不会明白我的构想 老默 |
| [06:34] | so I had to go “behind your back,” | 所以我必须”背后捅你一刀” |
| [06:35] | and I handed it off to the local affiliates. | 我就去了本地电台 |
| [06:37] | Wait. This already aired?! | 等等 已经播过了 |
| [06:39] | Okay, calm down. The man means well. | 冷静点 他本意不坏 |
| [06:41] | You realize that’s the worst thing you can say about a person. | 你明白这是对一个人最糟糕的评价吧 |
| [06:44] | How is it bad if a man means well? | 本意不坏怎么会是糟糕的评价 |
| [06:47] | Because it means he doesn’t do well. | 因为那意味着他的实际行动很糟糕 |
| [06:48] | He’s too busy being a moron. | 他只顾着做个白痴 |
| [06:50] | That’s it! | 够了 |
| [06:52] | I refuse to work for someone who thinks so little of me! | 我拒绝为如此鄙视我的人工作 |
| [06:54] | Great. Then don’t come in tomorrow. | 太好了 明天别来上班了 |
| [06:55] | – Are you firing me? – No, you just quit. | -你要解雇我 -不 是你辞职了 |
| [06:57] | Oh, no, no, no, no. I’m just refusing to work. | 不不不 我只是拒绝工作 |
| [06:59] | – That is quitting. – Which I didn’t do! | -那就是辞职 -我没辞职 |
| [07:01] | Then fine. You’re fired. | 那好 你被解雇了 |
| [07:02] | No, no, you can’t fire me. I already quit. | 不 你不能解雇我 我已经辞职了 |
| [07:03] | Too late. I fired you first. | 太晚了 是我先解雇你的 |
| [07:05] | Okay, so rehire me so I can quit. | 好吧 那就返聘我好让我辞职 |
| [07:06] | You’re rehired. Go ahead and quit. | 你被返聘了 辞职吧 |
| [07:07] | – I’m staying. – Then you’re fired. | -我要留下 -那你被解雇了 |
| [07:09] | You would fire your own brother? | 你要解雇你的亲兄弟 |
| [07:10] | I quit! | 我辞职 |
| [07:11] | He means well. | 他本意不坏 |
| [07:13] | As my uncle was quitting, | 在我叔叔辞职的时候 |
| [07:14] | Barry and his pals were ready to give up on girls. | 巴瑞和他的兄弟们正打算放弃女生 |
| [07:17] | Dude, “Girl Talk” sucks. | 伙计 《闺中密谈》逊爆了 |
| [07:18] | The only thing I’ve gotten from this game | 我玩这游戏唯一的收获 |
| [07:19] | is a bunch of zit stickers. | 就是一脸痘痘贴纸 |
| [07:21] | And I admitted I had a crush on the hunky quarterback, | 我还承认我喜欢大块头四分卫 |
| [07:23] | and he’s so not my type. | 但他根本不是我喜欢的类型 |
| [07:24] | You need a guy who makes you laugh, man. | 你需要一个能逗你笑的男人 伙计 |
| [07:26] | Andy? You have better luck | 安迪 你那本朱迪·布鲁姆的书 |
| [07:27] | with that Judy Blume book? | 读得怎么样了 |
| [07:28] | You have no idea what women go through each month. | 你根本想不到女人每个月要经历些什么 |
| [07:31] | I mean, it’s crazy. | 太疯狂了 |
| [07:32] | It still won’t help us get dates, but… | 这不能帮我们约到女生 但… |
| [07:34] | it’s crazy. | 太疯狂了 |
| [07:36] | Maybe the ol’ Bevernator can help you with your lady troubles. | 或许贝弗终结者能帮你们解决异性难题 |
| [07:38] | Mom! Stop invading our privacy | 妈 别再侵犯我们的隐私了 |
| [07:41] | while we’re invading Erica’s privacy! | 我们还要侵犯爱丽卡的隐私呢 |
| [07:43] | Maybe this is a chance for our relationship | 或许我们的关系能借这个机会 |
| [07:44] | – to change for the better. – It can’t change. | -变得更好 -不会改变的 |
| [07:47] | Once you’re a lame mom, you’re always a lame mom. | 一日为逊妈终身为逊妈 |
| [07:48] | Well, once you graduate from high school, | 等你高中毕业后 |
| [07:50] | you’re not gonna need a mom anymore. | 你就不再需要老妈了 |
| [07:52] | You’re gonna need a friend who knows things. | 你会需要一个有见识的朋友 |
| [07:54] | I want to be that friend. | 我想成为那个朋友 |
| [07:55] | Your lady bro. | 你的女兄弟 |
| [07:57] | Dude, a lady bro is exactly what we need. | 哥们 我们正需要一位女兄弟 |
| [07:59] | No. Last thing we need is for you | 不 我们最不需要的就是 |
| [08:00] | to mom us up with corny mom advice. | 你用很俗的老妈建议让我们老妈化 |
| [08:03] | That is quite possibly the most hurtful thing | 那可能是你对我说过的话里 |
| [08:04] | you’ve ever said to me. | 最伤人的了 |
| [08:05] | I am so much more than just a mom. | 我不只是一个老妈 |
| [08:07] | Now eat your prunes | 快点吃西梅 |
| [08:08] | so you can get your tummy engine cookin’. | 好让你的小肚肚运作起来 |
| [08:10] | No prunes! | 我不吃西梅 |
| [08:11] | They’re just so… wet. | 西梅湿乎乎的 |
| [08:13] | It’s been four days, Barry. | 你已经便秘四天了 巴瑞 |
| [08:14] | You need to make. | 你得拉粑粑 |
| [08:15] | Mom. I’m fine. | 妈 我没事 |
| [08:16] | You know, Essie Karp’s nephew’s son | 埃西·卡普的侄子的儿子 |
| [08:18] | held it in for that long, | 就便秘了这么多天 |
| [08:19] | and then he got on a ferry to Nantucket — | 然后他上了去楠塔基特岛的渡轮 |
| [08:21] | I don’t wanna hear this stupid mom story. | 我不想听愚蠢的老妈故事 |
| [08:23] | They had to turn the boat around, Barry. | 他们不得不让渡轮调头 巴瑞 |
| [08:25] | I don’t care about Essie’s nephew’s son! | 我才不在乎埃西的侄子的儿子 |
| [08:27] | – A Coast Guard chopper was involved. – Mom. | -还出动了海岸警卫队直升机 -妈 |
| [08:30] | – People were jumping into the ocean. – Mom! | -人们都弃船跳海了 -妈 |
| [08:33] | They had to decommission the boat. | 那艘船后来都报废了 |
| [08:35] | – Mom!!! – Because he didn’t eat his prunes. | -妈 -就因为他不吃西梅 |
| [08:37] | I think you’ve proven my point. | 我认为你证明了我的观点 |
| [08:39] | Well, suit yourself. | 随你们的便 |
| [08:40] | But just know that the most attractive trait in a man | 但要知道 男人最有魅力的特质 |
| [08:42] | is when he makes on schedule. | 就是有规律地拉粑粑 |
| [08:45] | No, Naked Rob! Drop the prunes! | 不行 裸罗伯 把西梅放下 |
| [08:46] | Oh, sorry, dude. I need these prunes, | 抱歉 伙计 我需要这些西梅 |
| [08:48] | and I need a lady bro to help me get a lady, bro. | 我也需要女兄弟帮我找女朋友 兄弟 |
| [08:51] | My mother is not the answer, Naked Rob. | 我妈不能给你答案 裸罗伯 |
| [08:54] | Okay, see, that’s the problem right there. | 你瞧 这就是问题所在 |
| [08:56] | This whole naked thing, Robert. | 关于你裸体这件事 罗伯 |
| [08:58] | Girls don’t like it when you run up to them with no pants on. | 女生不喜欢你不穿裤子朝她们跑过去 |
| [09:00] | Don’t listen to her! | 别听她的 |
| [09:02] | Your nudity is your most redeeming quality. | 你最讨喜的地方就是裸体 |
| [09:04] | So you’re saying if I get dressed in the morning | 你的意思是如果我早上穿好衣服 |
| [09:05] | and stay that way all day, | 一整天不脱 |
| [09:07] | then women will be less revolted by me? | 女人就不会那么厌恶我了 |
| [09:08] | I’m not just saying it. I know it. | 我不只是这个意思 我是确定 |
| [09:11] | Fine! But I guarantee this will not work. | 那好 但我保证这不会有效的 |
| [09:15] | Dude. I can’t believe it. | 哥们 我简直不敢相信 |
| [09:17] | My mom actually helped the guy. | 我妈还真帮到他了 |
| [09:19] | Um, could you tell your friends to go? | 你能叫你的朋友们走开吗 |
| [09:21] | No, Debbie! I’m watching and learning. | 不行 黛比 我正在观摩学习 |
| [09:24] | Guys, please. This is a big moment for me. | 大伙 拜托 这一刻对我很重要 |
| [09:25] | Do you guys actually think my mom isn’t just a mom? | 你们真的认为我妈不只是个老妈吗 |
| [09:28] | Accept it, man. | 接受现实吧 |
| [09:29] | She’s the answer to all our problems. | 她就是我们所有问题的答案 |
| [09:32] | While Barry had to admit defeat, | 在巴瑞不得不承认失败时 |
| [09:33] | Uncle Marvin was ready to take a victory lap. | 马文叔叔正准备好要炫耀自己的胜利 |
| [09:36] | What’s going on? | 怎么回事 |
| [09:37] | Why are you here? I thought you quit. | 你怎么来了 你不是辞职了吗 |
| [09:39] | Don’t worry about me, Mur-Man. | 别在意我了 老默 |
| [09:41] | I’m just here to let you know | 我只是来让你知道 |
| [09:42] | that I landed a sweet new job. | 我找到了份很好的新工作 |
| [09:44] | Oh, did you, now? | 是吗 |
| [09:45] | Oh, yes, I did. | 是的 没错 |
| [09:46] | And I finally have a real boss… | 我终于有了位真正的… |
| [09:48] | one that I can respect. | 值得尊敬的老板 |
| [09:53] | Make way | 都让开 |
| [09:54] | for Formica Michael Mikowitz | 富美家·迈克尔·麦科威茨来了 |
| [09:58] | Well, well, well. What do we got here? | 快瞧瞧这幅景象啊 |
| [10:01] | A whole lot of crappy furniture with no one to buy it. | 一堆破家具 一个顾客都没有 |
| [10:04] | So, you’re working for this putz now? | 你现在为这个混蛋工作 |
| [10:05] | That’s right. I just snaked your top salesman. | 没错 我挖走了你最好的销售员 |
| [10:08] | – Must be killin’ ya. – No, I’m good. | -你肯定气死了 -不 我不介意 |
| [10:09] | No, but he’s your brother, | 可这是你弟弟 |
| [10:10] | and now he’s working for me — the enemy. | 而他现在为我这个敌人工作了 |
| [10:12] | Yeah, well, things happen. | 在所难免 |
| [10:13] | That’s, uh… | 这… |
| [10:14] | That’s not the reaction I was expecting. | 这不是我期待中的反应 |
| [10:16] | Look at him. | 瞧瞧他 |
| [10:17] | It’s eating him up inside. | 他心里都快气死了 |
| [10:19] | I don’t know. He doesn’t seem so put out by the whole thing. | 是吗 他看起来不怎么为这件事生气 |
| [10:21] | Nah, nah, nah, nah. You don’t know him like I do. | 不不不 你不像我这么了解他 |
| [10:23] | He is dying to take me back. | 他迫不及待想把我抢回来 |
| [10:25] | Okay. I’ll come back. | 好吧 我愿意回来 |
| [10:26] | Nope, you see the sign. | 不行 牌子写得很清楚 |
| [10:28] | Says “No refunds on damaged goods.” | “破损物品不能退款” |
| [10:32] | Oh, he’s such a faker. | 他太能装了 |
| [10:36] | This is gonna be great! | 这下有好戏看了 |
| [10:38] | I got concerns. | 我有点担心 |
| [10:41] | It had been two days since my Uncle Marvin’s crazy commercial had aired, | 马文叔叔的疯狂广告已经播了两天 |
| [10:44] | and when my dad arrived to work, | 当我爸来上班时 |
| [10:45] | he was surprised to find business was booming. | 他惊讶地发现生意兴旺了起来 |
| [10:48] | What’s with all the people? | 怎么来了这么多人 |
| [10:49] | It’s Marvin’s farkakte commercial. | 都是因为马文的破广告 |
| [10:51] | I think it actually worked! | 我想还真起作用了 |
| [10:53] | No way. No one’s here to see a sweaty samurai. | 不可能 他们肯定不是来看冒汗武士的 |
| [10:56] | Hey, where’s the Sofa Samurai? | 沙发武士在哪 |
| [10:57] | My kid wants to take a whack at this recliner with that katana. | 我儿子想用那把武士刀砍这张躺椅 |
| [11:00] | Unfortunately, the Samurai is sick. | 不巧的是 武士生病了 |
| [11:03] | What? I drove two hours to get here. | 什么 我开了两小时车过来的 |
| [11:05] | Uh, which is why… | 这就是为什么… |
| [11:06] | you’re looking at the Mattress Magician! | 有我这个床垫魔术师在此 |
| [11:10] | What’s that behind your ear, huh? | 你耳朵后面是什么东西 |
| [11:12] | Don’t touch my son. | 别碰我儿子 |
| [11:14] | Give us a second. | 容我们单独谈谈 |
| [11:17] | You gotta get your brother back. | 你得把你弟抢回来 |
| [11:19] | We need him. | 我们需要他 |
| [11:20] | You know, we’re talking about Marvin. | 我们说的可是马文 |
| [11:21] | I’ve never once needed him. | 我从没需要过他 |
| [11:23] | Until now. | 直到现在 |
| [11:24] | His terrible ideas, turns out, are great. | 他的馊主意原来很有用 |
| [11:28] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [11:29] | You don’t want Marvin’s help. | 你不想让马文帮你 |
| [11:31] | I’ll work on my magic. | 我就变魔术吧 |
| [11:32] | – Say, what’s that behind your — – Stop it. | -你耳朵后面是… -打住 |
| [11:34] | I’ll go talk to him. | 我去找他谈就是 |
| [11:36] | That day, my dad wasn’t the only one | 那天 不单是我爸 |
| [11:38] | who was asking for help from the least likely person. | 去向最意料之外的人寻求帮助 |
| [11:40] | Double coupon? | 双倍优惠劵 |
| [11:41] | Don’t mind if I do-pon. | 那我就卷一个 |
| [11:43] | Yep, the unthinkable happened. | 没错 不可思议的事发生了 |
| [11:45] | Barry went to my mom for some girl talk. | 巴瑞去找我妈进行闺中密谈 |
| [11:47] | Hey, Boofaloo. | 小宝宝 |
| [11:49] | As much as it shocks me to say it, | 尽管我没想到自己会说出这种话 |
| [11:52] | you’re not just a big-haired, mom-shaped sweater lady. | 你不只是个妈妈形状爱穿毛衣的大卷发女士 |
| [11:54] | Hurtful, but continue. | 好伤人 但继续说吧 |
| [11:56] | You helped Rob, which means you’re not only a mom. | 你帮了罗伯 那意味着你不只是一个老妈 |
| [11:58] | You could actually be a lady bro | 你确实能成为一个女兄弟 |
| [11:59] | and help me get girls. | 帮我追女生 |
| [12:00] | Shut your delicious little face! | 快闭上你这张可爱的小嘴 |
| [12:02] | You asked for my help! | 你来寻求我的帮助了 |
| [12:04] | – Forget it! Forget it. This is a mistake. – Wh- | -算了 算了 这是个错误 -什么 |
| [12:05] | No, Barry, look into my eyes. | 不 巴瑞 看着我的双眼 |
| [12:08] | I will take this more seriously | 我会把这件事 |
| [12:10] | than anything I’ve ever done in my life. | 看得比我做过的任何事都重要 |
| [12:13] | I just wanted some advice on how to impress Jamie Weisman. | 我只想知道怎样才能让杰米·韦斯曼看上我 |
| [12:16] | I’ve already tried both aggressive rapping | 我已经试过有攻击性的饶舌 |
| [12:18] | and casual flexing in a yellow tank top. | 和偶尔穿着黄背心秀肌肉了 |
| [12:21] | Have you considered something simpler? | 你有没有想过用些简单的办法 |
| [12:23] | You mean like eating an entire apple in one bite? | 你指一口吃掉一整个苹果 |
| [12:25] | Or… What if you just talk to her? | 或者…只是去和她聊聊 |
| [12:27] | – Like with a bullhorn? – For now, just be yourself. | -用大喇叭 -目前你做自己就好 |
| [12:29] | That’s all women really want. | 那才是女人真正想要的 |
| [12:31] | Sincerity. | 真诚 |
| [12:32] | Be sincere. | 要真诚 |
| [12:33] | So I speak with a British accent and wear a monocle? | 那我戴个单片眼镜用英国口音说话 |
| [12:36] | We’ll get you there. | 我会把你教明白的 |
| [12:38] | And she did. | 她的确做到了 |
| [12:39] | After a little training from his lady bro, | 在接受了女兄弟的特训后 |
| [12:41] | Barry was ready to win over his lady. | 巴瑞准备好赢得姑娘的芳心了 |
| [12:44] | What am I looking at here? | 我眼前这一幕是怎么回事 |
| [12:46] | Just a boy who took my advice | 不过是一个男孩接受了我的建议 |
| [12:48] | and is now chatting to his future girlfriend. | 正在和他未来的女朋友聊天 |
| [12:50] | – Are you nuts? – What? What’s wrong? | -你疯了吗 -什么 哪里不对吗 |
| [12:52] | Jamie Weisman hangs with the no-good bleacher creatures. | 杰米·韦斯曼总和那些看台怪物厮混 |
| [12:55] | They spend every lunch under there smoking | 他们每天午餐时都在看台下抽烟 |
| [12:57] | and listening to that awful ska music. | 听那些难听的斯卡音乐 |
| [12:59] | – And don’t get me started on the truancy. – Truancy? | -一说起他们旷课的事我就来气 -旷课 |
| [13:02] | Well, that’s a gateway to being late for everything in life! | 那样很容易今后做什么都慢一步 |
| [13:04] | And the worst part is, they’re always sassing off at the mouth, | 最糟糕的部分是 他们总是满嘴脏话 |
| [13:07] | saying things like “Fxxx this school” | 说什么”去他妈的学校” |
| [13:09] | and “Fxxx Mr. Glascott.” | 和”格拉斯科特老师去死” |
| [13:11] | Kids can’t speak that way. | 孩子们怎么能那么说话 |
| [13:12] | This is un-fxxxxxx-believable. | 真他妈不敢相信 |
| [13:14] | Barry will not be a part of that group. | 决不能让巴瑞融入那个群体 |
| [13:15] | Now, there’s the woman I know and fear. | 这才是那个我熟悉的可怕女人 |
| [13:17] | Now get in there and break up that boy’s good time! | 快过去坏了那小子的好事 |
| [13:19] | Well, I just became his bro. | 我刚成为他兄弟 |
| [13:20] | I can’t go back to being his mom. | 我不能做回他的老妈 |
| [13:22] | But you’re the mommiest mom of all the mom I’ve ever met. | 但你是我见过的老妈里最老妈的 |
| [13:25] | I don’t know what to do! | 我不知道该怎么办 |
| [13:26] | What you always do. | 就按你一贯的作风 |
| [13:27] | Ruin things. | 破坏一切 |
| [13:28] | Well, I’d love to, but I just can’t get — | 我也想 但我不能就这样… |
| [13:30] | Oh, hey. What’s up, bro? | 你好吗 兄弟 |
| [13:31] | Your advice totally worked! | 你的建议真的有用 |
| [13:32] | Jamie’s coming over after school to study! | 杰米今天放学后要来咱家一起学习 |
| [13:34] | She’s already coming over to study, huh? | 她这就要来咱家学习了吗 |
| [13:37] | That worked better than I thought. | 比我想象得效果还好 |
| [13:39] | I’m sorry I said you’re just a mom. | 真抱歉我之前说你只是个老妈 |
| [13:40] | You made this happen. You. | 这都归功于你 你 |
| [13:42] | And I feel big feelings about it. | 这让我情绪十分激动 |
| [13:45] | I gotta go buy some Drakkar | 我得去买点达卡古龙水 |
| [13:47] | so I smell awesome when we study. | 这样我们一起学习时我才能香香的 |
| [13:48] | Bye. | 拜拜 |
| [13:49] | Drakkar?! | 达卡古龙水 |
| [13:51] | That is the musk of Europeans on holiday! | 那是欧洲人过节时身上的麝香味 |
| [13:54] | What have I done? | 我都做了些什么 |
| [13:55] | The worst thing any mom could do. | 老妈能做出的最糟糕的事莫过于此 |
| [13:56] | You became your son’s bro. | 你变成了你儿子的兄弟 |
| [13:58] | While my mom was realizing her mistake, | 正当我妈意识到自己的错误时 |
| [14:00] | my dad was gonna try to win back the Formica King’s jester. | 我爸正试图赢回富美家王身边的弄臣 |
| [14:02] | Hey, uh, Marvin. You got a sec? | 马文 你有空吗 |
| [14:05] | Uh, not for you. | 没空见你 |
| [14:07] | I’m in the middle of a top-secret project for Formica Mike. | 我正忙着帮富美家迈克准备机密企划 |
| [14:10] | J-Just stop jingling and… | 别再晃铃铛了 |
| [14:12] | You can come back to my store. | 你可以回我店里工作 |
| [14:14] | I knew it! | 我就知道 |
| [14:15] | Sales have plunged since your top salesman left. | 你的最佳销售员走后生意一蹶不振 |
| [14:17] | Sure. If that’s what you want to hear. | 是的 如果这是你想听的 |
| [14:19] | Oh, I want a lot more than that. | 我想要的还有很多 |
| [14:21] | I shall return to your employ | 如果你能同意我的下列条件 |
| [14:22] | should you meet the following demands. | 我就重回你手下工作 |
| [14:24] | Demand number one. | 第一条 |
| [14:25] | I want stock options. All of them. | 我要全部的职工认股权 |
| [14:27] | We’re not a public company, moron. | 我们又没上市 白痴 |
| [14:29] | There is no stock. | 哪来的股票 |
| [14:30] | I want 100 paid vacation days. | 我想要一百天带薪假期 |
| [14:32] | That’s three months! | 那是三个月呢 |
| [14:33] | – I want my own parking spot… – No. | -我想要我的专属车位 -没有 |
| [14:34] | – toilet… – No. | -厕位 -没有 |
| [14:35] | – office… – No. | -办公室 -没有 |
| [14:37] | …and I’m going to change the name of the store | 我还要把店名改成 |
| [14:38] | to Marvin and Brother Furniture Place. | 马文和他哥的家具店 |
| [14:40] | All right, forget I asked. | 好吧 当我没说 |
| [14:43] | Hold on. Fine. | 等等 好吧 |
| [14:44] | All you have to say is that you need me. | 你只要说一句”我需要你”就行 |
| [14:47] | I’m not gonna do that. | 我不会说的 |
| [14:49] | Just say it, and all your dreams will come true. | 说了你所有的梦想都会成真 |
| [14:51] | – I’m not gonna say it. – Just say the words! | -我不会说的 -快说 |
| [14:53] | I don’t need you, and I never will! | 我不需要你 也永远不会需要你 |
| [14:59] | Fine. | 那好 |
| [15:00] | We’re finished here. | 我们没什么可说的了 |
| [15:02] | Leave your basement! | 从你的地下室出去 |
| [15:04] | Or… fine. | 或者 好吧 |
| [15:06] | I will leave. | 我走 |
| [15:11] | As my dad showed Marvin the door, | 正当我爸叫马文走人时 |
| [15:12] | my mom was showing Jamie Weisman | 我妈正在给杰米·韦斯曼 |
| [15:14] | Barry’s baby book. | 看巴瑞的童年相册 |
| [15:15] | And now here’s Barry with his head stuck in the banister. | 这张是巴瑞的头卡在楼梯栏杆里了 |
| [15:18] | And now there he is with his head stuck in the fence. | 这张是巴瑞的头卡在栅栏里了 |
| [15:22] | What?! | 什么 |
| [15:23] | We took a two-minute study break so I could get snacks! | 我们不过休息两分钟好让我拿点零食 |
| [15:26] | How did this happen so fast? | 你动作怎么这么快 |
| [15:27] | Relax. I’m just showing your new friend some photos. | 别紧张 我不过是给你的新朋友看点照片 |
| [15:30] | Bro. A word? | 兄弟 来一下好吗 |
| [15:31] | Sure thing, bro. | 没问题 兄弟 |
| [15:32] | Feel free to peruse. | 你尽情仔细翻看 |
| [15:33] | There’s some great pictures | 还有些不错的照片 |
| [15:34] | of little Barry making on the potty. | 是小巴瑞坐在小马桶上拉粑粑 |
| [15:37] | Or close to the potty. You know. | 虽然拉到外面了 你懂的 |
| [15:39] | Enjoy. | 慢慢看 |
| [15:40] | What did you do? | 你做了什么 |
| [15:42] | I just showed her a photo album. | 我不过给她看看相册 |
| [15:43] | Like a mom. | 像老妈一样 |
| [15:44] | What happened to being my bro? | 你不是要做我兄弟吗 |
| [15:46] | I am your bro. | 我是你兄弟 |
| [15:47] | But not when it comes to cool girls with bad intentions. | 但动机不纯的酷女孩出现时就不是了 |
| [15:50] | I was right! All you’ll ever be is a mom. | 我是对的 你永远只能是个老妈 |
| [15:52] | Dammit, I want to be more! I do! | 该死 我不想只当老妈 真的 |
| [15:55] | But I just can’t stop myself. | 但我就是克制不了自己 |
| [15:57] | Well, I can. | 我可以 |
| [15:58] | This is the last time I ask for your help. | 这是我最后一次寻求你的帮助 |
| [16:00] | Ever. | 再也不会了 |
| [16:01] | – Everything cool? – Yeah. | -一切还好吗 -没事 |
| [16:02] | I’m all studied out. | 我今天学不下去了 |
| [16:04] | I’ll see you tomorrow. | 明天见 |
| [16:06] | Just leave the door open when you go. | 你出去时别关门 |
| [16:08] | We need to air out the Drakkar stink. | 得把古龙水这股味散散 |
| [16:14] | After refusing to tell Marvin he needed him, | 在我爸拒绝对马文说他需要他后 |
| [16:16] | my dad got a surprise visit from a guy who did. | 一位没拒绝马文的意外访客来了 |
| [16:19] | Oh, God. | 我的天 |
| [16:19] | I came to say “Bravo.” | 我来说”干得好” |
| [16:21] | You pulled it off perfectly. | 你的计划完美实施 |
| [16:22] | What-what-what are you talking about? | 你这是什么意思 |
| [16:24] | – Sabotage. – What? | -破坏 -什么 |
| [16:25] | – Sabotage! – What about it? | -破坏 -什么破坏 |
| [16:27] | – Sabotage. – Stop saying “sabotage”! | -破坏 -别再说”破坏”了 |
| [16:29] | You let me steal your brother knowing full well | 你让我撬走你弟 你非常清楚 |
| [16:31] | that he would destroy my store from the inside. | 他会从内部瓦解我的店 |
| [16:34] | What’d he do? | 他又犯什么错了 |
| [16:35] | First, he mistook the display toilet | 首先 他错将展示马桶 |
| [16:37] | – for “the real deal.” – Oh, geez. | -当成真马桶 -老天 |
| [16:40] | Then he wants to rearrange the stock room. | 然后他想重新布置储藏室 |
| [16:42] | He loses control of the forklift. | 结果铲车失控 |
| [16:44] | He pops three water beds. | 戳穿了三张水床 |
| [16:45] | Now I gotta shut down | 现在我必须关门 |
| [16:46] | because he flooded my showroom. | 因为他淹了我的样板间 |
| [16:48] | Formica Mike, listen to me. | 富美家迈克 听我说 |
| [16:50] | – This isn’t sabotage.- That wasn’t sabotage? | -这不是搞破坏 -不是吗 |
| [16:53] | No. I’m not smart enough, | 不是 我没那么聪明 |
| [16:54] | and I know Marvin isn’t. | 我知道马文也没有 |
| [16:55] | Okay. Then, first, I’m gonna fire the putz. | 那好 那我要先解雇那个笨蛋 |
| [16:58] | Then I’m gonna make him pay for the water beds. | 然后我要让他赔水床 |
| [17:00] | Don’t do that. | 别这样 |
| [17:01] | I’ll pay for it. | 我来赔 |
| [17:03] | Why would you do that? | 你为什么这样做 |
| [17:05] | Because… he really does mean well. | 因为 他本意真的不坏 |
| [17:08] | You do know that that is the worst thing | 你知道这是对一个人 |
| [17:10] | that you could say about a person? | 最糟糕的评价吧 |
| [17:11] | Oh, I’m aware. | 我知道 |
| [17:13] | Here ya go, Ad. | 给你 亚当 |
| [17:15] | Sorry I stole your camera. | 抱歉我偷了你的摄像机 |
| [17:16] | I guess that’s the end of my illustrious film career. | 我想我辉煌的电影生涯结束了 |
| [17:19] | It had a lens cap and a case. | 本来还有镜头盖和箱子的 |
| [17:20] | It sure did, pal. | 当然是有的 伙计 |
| [17:23] | Marvin? Can we, uh, talk? Again? | 马文 能再谈谈吗 |
| [17:26] | I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to fraternize with the enemy. | 我认为我不该和敌人过于亲近 |
| [17:28] | Just shut up and listen. | 闭嘴听我说 |
| [17:30] | I made a deal with Formica Mike. | 我和富美家迈克说好了 |
| [17:32] | You’re coming back to work on Monday at twice the pay. | 你周一回来上班 薪水加倍 |
| [17:34] | – He tell you about the forklift incident? – Yes. | -他跟你说了铲车事故 -是的 |
| [17:36] | – And the miscommunication with the toilet? – Yeah. | -还有用错马桶的事 -说了 |
| [17:38] | He’s gonna fire me, isn’t he? | 他要解雇我对吗 |
| [17:39] | Do you want to come back or don’t you? | 你到底想不想回来 |
| [17:41] | I don’t get it. | 我不明白 |
| [17:42] | Why would you take me back with a raise | 你为什么要请我回去并且加薪 |
| [17:43] | when I’m just your dumb kid brother who “means well”? | 我明明只是你”本意不坏”的白痴弟弟 |
| [17:46] | Well, this time you didn’t mean well. | 这次你不仅是本意不坏 |
| [17:47] | You did well. | 你是做得很好 |
| [17:48] | Your stupid commercial is a hit. | 你愚蠢的广告火了 |
| [17:52] | And… | 还有 |
| [17:55] | I really need you. | 我真的需要你 |
| [17:56] | You said it? He said it. | 你说了 他说了 |
| [17:58] | What do you say we make another commercial? | 我们再拍一则广告怎么样 |
| [18:00] | Together. | 一起拍 |
| [18:02] | In the end, turns out all my Uncle Marvin | 最终 原来我的马文叔叔 |
| [18:04] | really wanted was to be needed. | 真正想要的只是被需要 |
| [18:06] | And he was. | 他的确被人需要 |
| [18:12] | Hey, booper. | 宝贝 |
| [18:13] | Brought you a snacky. | 给你拿了点心 |
| [18:14] | – Not a prune in sight. – Not hungry. | -一个西梅都没有 -不饿 |
| [18:17] | You got a 98 on your Econ test? | 你的经济学考了98分 |
| [18:19] | That’s why I studied with Jamie. | 这就是我和杰米一起学习的原因 |
| [18:21] | She gets straight As. | 她是全优学生 |
| [18:24] | Guess I made a snap judgment based on some bleachers. | 看来我因为看台就以貌取人了 |
| [18:28] | I just…got worried, and the mom in me kicked in. | 我只是开始担心 然后母性就出来了 |
| [18:31] | Whatever. | 随便吧 |
| [18:32] | It’s my fault for letting you in. | 怪我不该向你倾诉 |
| [18:33] | No. I want you to let me in. | 不 我希望你向我倾诉 |
| [18:36] | You guys are getting older. | 你们越来越大 |
| [18:38] | You don’t need a mom like you used to. | 不像以前那样需要妈妈了 |
| [18:39] | But if I’m your friend… | 但如果我是你的朋友 |
| [18:41] | then I can still be there for you. | 我就能继续给你支持 |
| [18:43] | I got plenty of friends. | 我有好多朋友 |
| [18:45] | But I only got one mom. | 但我只有一个妈妈 |
| [18:46] | That night, our mom realized | 那晚我妈意识到 |
| [18:48] | she could shine just as bright | 哪怕只做老妈 |
| [18:49] | in Barry’s life by being his mom, | 她在巴瑞的生活中也一样重要 |
| [18:51] | – while Uncle Marvin… – Like that? | -同时马文叔叔 -这样吗 |
| [18:53] | …was enjoying his time in the spotlight. | 也享受着聚光灯下的时光 |
| [18:56] | He really does mean well. | 他的确是本意不坏 |
| [18:58] | He really does. | 的确 |
| [19:01] | And sometimes the people who mean well | 有时候那些本意不坏的人 |
| [19:03] | end up being the best surprises of all. | 会成为生活中最大的惊喜 |
| [19:05] | Mom? | 妈 |
| [19:07] | What are you doing here? | 你来做什么 |
| [19:09] | Schmoopie, you were right. | 宝贝 你说得对 |
| [19:10] | I can’t be your friend. | 我不能做你的朋友 |
| [19:11] | I’m your mom, and that’s what you need, | 我是你妈 你需要妈妈 |
| [19:13] | and I am gonna mom it up like you have never seen. | 我要拿出你前所未见的老妈能量 |
| [19:15] | – Now? – I’ve had enough, mister! | -现在吗 -我受够了 先生 |
| [19:17] | You’re failing half of your classes | 你的功课有一半不及格 |
| [19:19] | because of all your wild partying. | 因为你只忙着开狂野派对 |
| [19:21] | What are you doing? | 你这是做什么 |
| [19:22] | Oh, you just party so wildly. | 你的派对狂得过头了 |
| [19:24] | But it stops today! | 到此为止 |
| [19:26] | The same with your cool-but-dangerous stunts! | 还有你那些又酷又危险的特技 |
| [19:28] | And your antics, which are equally as wild. | 还有你同等狂野的滑稽动作 |
| [19:31] | – Mom! – And you. | -妈 -至于你 |
| [19:33] | You’re the one who tutored my can’t-be-tamed son | 那天给我这无法驯服的儿子做家教的 |
| [19:35] | the other day, right? | 就是你吧 |
| [19:36] | Um, yeah. | 是的 |
| [19:38] | Great. Well, now you’re gonna tutor him in all his subjects, huh? | 很好 你现在要辅导他所有的功课 |
| [19:41] | Don’t argue with me. | 不准反驳 |
| [19:43] | What I say is final. | 我说了算 |
| [19:47] | Moms, huh? | 老妈都这样对吧 |
| [19:48] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [19:52] | They’re the worst. | 她们最差劲了 |
| [19:56] | Come on down to the Ottoman Empire, | 快来奥斯曼帝国 |
| [19:58] | where the Sofa Samurai | 在这里有沙发武士 |
| [20:00] | is slashing all our prices in half! | 将所有价格劈成两半 |
| [20:02] | And I am but a simple radish farmer. | 而我只是个种萝卜的农夫 |
| [20:05] | Oh, noble warrior, | 高贵的勇士 |
| [20:06] | won’t you protect us from high prices? | 您能保护我们不受高价格的伤害吗 |
| [20:08] | That’s the thing about family. | 家人就是这样 |
| [20:10] | Everyone has a part to play. | 每人都有自己的角色 |
| [20:12] | And when the people you love are playing themselves, | 当你爱的人扮演自己时 |
| [20:14] | well, that’s a show you don’t want to miss. | 这样的节目你可不想错过 |
| [20:22] | Crazy Eddie’s having a pillow sale! | 疯狂艾迪枕头大减价 |
| [20:25] | Every pillow you can see — | 你看到的所有枕头 |
| [20:27] | big pillows, large pillows, throw pillows, every pillow! | 大的 特大的 抱枕 所有的 |
| [20:30] | And it’s only for this special month! | 只有这个月特价 |
| [20:36] | Call a guy and tell him something gross. | 给一个男生打电话说些恶心的话 |
| [20:38] | Ew. Never. I’ll take a zit sticker. | 才不要 我贴个痘痘 |
| [20:40] | I knew you’d still be here! | 我就知道你们还在这里 |
| [20:41] | Erica! You came home to see me! | 爱丽卡 你回家来看我了 |
| [20:43] | No, I came home to fight you all for invading my privacy! | 不 我是来教训你们侵犯我的隐私 |
| [20:46] | But Barry said you were fine with it. | 但巴瑞说你没意见 |
| [20:47] | That is not what I said, Erica. | 我不是这样说的 爱丽卡 |
| [20:49] | What I told them was — Run, JTP! | 我跟他们说的是 快跑 JTP |
| [20:51] | JTP JTP! | |
| [20:54] | Okay, I get you’re mad, | 我知道你很生气 |
| [20:55] | but can I at least get a kiss before you flip out? | 但你发火前 能先亲我一下吗 |
| [20:57] | Yeah, I’m going back to school. | 我要回学校了 |
| [20:59] | Wait. That’s not — But I didn’t — | 等等 这不是 但我没有… |