| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Back in the ’80s, my mom began work on her opus — | 在八十年代 我妈开始创作自己的作品 |
| [00:03] | The Beverly Goldberg Cookbook. | 贝弗莉·金伯格食谱 |
| [00:05] | She awkwardly pecked away at the typewriter for hours, | 她别扭地在打字机前敲了数小时 |
| [00:07] | carefully listing every Parm-filled recipe | 仔细地列出每道焗菜食谱 |
| [00:09] | with meticulous detail. | 细节一丝不苟 |
| [00:11] | She was so hell-bent on making her book a reality | 她如此拼命想把食谱做出来 |
| [00:14] | that she enlisted me to take the cover photo. | 甚至招募我来为她拍摄封面 |
| [00:20] | I don’t know. I-I’m not feeling this. | 我说不好 没什么感觉 |
| [00:23] | Maybe bring a little energy to it. | 或许再多来点热情 |
| [00:26] | Maybe not that much. | 或许热过头了 |
| [00:27] | My mom was determined to make every recipe | 我妈决心让每道食谱 |
| [00:30] | a cheesy, over-sauced masterpiece. | 都是浇满芝士和酱汁的杰作 |
| [00:31] | Naturally, we had to be the taste-testers, | 自然 我们不得不做试吃员 |
| [00:33] | which was exhausting for everyone. | 这对每个人来说都很累 |
| [00:35] | My belly’s at full capacity. Oh, God. | 我的肚子满载了 老天 |
| [00:38] | – Yep, no one was off the hook, day or night. – Incoming. | -无论日夜 谁也逃不过去 -来袭 |
| [00:42] | Mom! We’re trying to watch a movie! | 妈 我们在看电影 |
| [00:44] | And what better movie snack than my triple-cream beef stew? | 还有什么电影零食比三重奶油炖牛肉更好 |
| [00:47] | Oh, God. Please no. I have a major lactose intoler– | 老天 千万别 我乳糖不耐受很严重 |
| [00:51] | Ooh, that is rich in dairy. | 奶油放得真足 |
| [00:55] | Linguini and clams coming in. | 蛤蜊扁意面来了 |
| [01:18] | It was February 27th, 1980-something, | 那是一九八几年的二月二十七日 |
| [01:20] | and my brother and I were busy | 我哥和我正忙着 |
| [01:22] | getting our daily dose of exercise. | 完成每日所需的锻炼 |
| [01:24] | Okay, kiddos. | 好了 孩子们 |
| [01:26] | Stop with your beep-boops and your lady-reading. | 别再瞎蹦跶看女生杂志了 |
| [01:29] | Your cousin is gonna be here any minute. | 你们的亲戚随时会到 |
| [01:32] | How exactly are we related to this schmo, again? | 我们和这傻瓜究竟怎么算亲戚来着 |
| [01:34] | You know my mom’s great-aunt Rose? | 你们知道我妈的姑姥姥罗斯吗 |
| [01:36] | – Who? – No. | -谁 -不知道 |
| [01:36] | Already bored. | 我已经无聊了 |
| [01:37] | Well, Rose’s sister Esther married Schmooly, | 罗斯的姐姐埃丝特嫁给了沙姆里 |
| [01:41] | they had two sons, Freddie and Ivan, | 他们有两个儿子 弗莱迪和埃文 |
| [01:43] | who each married twin sisters. | 两个人娶了双胞胎 |
| [01:45] | So, he’s not so much our cousin as he is a total stranger. | 所以比起亲戚他更像是彻底的陌生人 |
| [01:48] | Family is family. | 家人就是家人 |
| [01:49] | Even if they’re from the Old Country. | 哪怕他们是从故土来的 |
| [01:51] | We live in modern times now. | 我们已经生活在现代了 |
| [01:53] | How is a country still old? | 这个故土怎么还是旧的 |
| [01:55] | – How? – That’s exactly why I brought him to visit, | -怎么会 -所以才我让他来串门 |
| [01:58] | so you can get to know him | 好让你们认识他 |
| [01:59] | and ask him questions about life back in Russia. | 问问他苏联的生活是什么样的 |
| [02:01] | Wait, he’s Russian?! | 等等 他是苏联人 |
| [02:03] | That means he’s been bred since birth in a KGB lab | 就是说他自出生就被克格勃实验室训练 |
| [02:06] | to destroy our wonderful democracy. | 来毁灭我们美好的民主 |
| [02:08] | Sit down. | 坐下 |
| [02:09] | He’s not a spy, Barry. | 他不是间谍 巴瑞 |
| [02:10] | He comes from a tiny village that barely has running water. | 他来自一个几乎没有自来水的小村子 |
| [02:14] | The floor of his home is dirt, for God’s sake. | 他家里的地面就是土 老天啊 |
| [02:17] | How does he know when he’s done sweeping? | 那他怎么知道地上扫干净没有 |
| [02:19] | He never is. | 他永远不知道 |
| [02:21] | Look, I think meeting Groiseh Gleb | 我认为认识傻大个格列布 |
| [02:23] | is just what you kids need to get a little perspective. | 换位思考 正是你们这些孩子需要的 |
| [02:25] | Wait, what’s his name? | 等等 他叫什么 |
| [02:26] | – Gleb. – Are you saying Glen? | -格列布 -你是说格伦吗 |
| [02:28] | No, Gleb. | 不 格列布 |
| [02:29] | As in actress Glenn Close? | 和女演员格伦·克洛斯同名吗 |
| [02:30] | Gleb! | 格列布 |
| [02:32] | So, not Glenn Close. | 所以不是格伦·克洛斯 |
| [02:33] | We’ve got three Glebs in the family, | 我们家里有三个叫格列布的 |
| [02:35] | which is confusing, | 让人很糊涂 |
| [02:36] | so that’s why everyone calls him Groiseh Gleb. | 所以我们叫他傻大个格列布 |
| [02:39] | What’s “groiseh” mean? | “傻大个”是什么意思 |
| [02:41] | Groiseh means “big and plump.” | 就是高大笨拙的意思 |
| [02:43] | Trust me, you’re gonna love Big Gleb. | 相信我 你们会很喜欢傻大个格列布的 |
| [02:46] | Of the three Glebs, he’s the funniest Gleb. | 三个格列布中 他是最搞笑的格列布 |
| [02:52] | There he is. How ya been, Gleb?! | 他来了 你好吗 格列布 |
| [02:55] | – Fine. – You just flew in from Kiev. | -好 -你刚从基辅飞过来 |
| [02:57] | Boy, your arms must be tired. | 你的胳膊肯定累坏了 |
| [03:00] | Yes. My whole body’s very tired. | 是的 我全身都很累 |
| [03:02] | You think this Gleb came instead of funny Gleb? | 你们觉得来的这个格列布是搞笑格列布吗 |
| [03:05] | Bag? Take. | 包 拿着 |
| [03:08] | That is dense. | 真沉啊 |
| [03:09] | So. Gleb. How are things? | 格列布 你还好吗 |
| [03:12] | Hungry. | 饿了 |
| [03:13] | Okey-dokey. | 好吧 |
| [03:16] | Is okay? | 能吃吗 |
| [03:17] | You’re family. | 你是家人 |
| [03:18] | Our plums are your plums. | 我们的李子就是你的李子 |
| [03:22] | So juicy. | 真多汁 |
| [03:24] | Nothing like this back home. | 老家那边没有这样的 |
| [03:25] | And to think, | 想想看 |
| [03:26] | you kids just take that plum for granted. | 你们还以为有李子吃是理所当然的 |
| [03:30] | How long’s this dude gonna be here? | 这伙计要在这住多久 |
| [03:32] | Two weeks. | 两周 |
| [03:33] | There’s only so many fruits we can introduce him to. | 我们没那么多种水果可介绍给他 |
| [03:35] | We live in the birthplace of America. | 我们住在美国的诞生地 |
| [03:38] | Show the man around. | 带他四处逛逛 |
| [03:40] | I’m gonna go get him a banana. | 我去给他拿根香蕉 |
| [03:42] | He’ll go crazy. | 他会高兴疯的 |
| [03:44] | And just like that, we had to entertain | 就这样 我们不得不招待 |
| [03:46] | our Old Country cousin, Gleb. | 故土来的亲戚格列布 |
| [03:48] | While my mom was busy entertaining the Frentas… | 而我妈正忙着用豪华早午餐 |
| [03:51] | with a fancy brunch. | 招待姐妹团 |
| [03:52] | I mean, I knew Babs had range, | 我知道芭芭拉戏路宽 |
| [03:54] | but watching her play a young male farmer? | 但看她演年轻的种田小伙 |
| [03:57] | I mean, transcendent. | 卓然不群 |
| [03:59] | Oh, well, speaking of cookbooks… | 说到食谱 |
| [04:01] | Uh, no one’s speaking of cookbooks, Beverly. | 没有人说到食谱 贝弗莉 |
| [04:03] | We were actually just talking about “Yentl.” | 我们其实在聊《燕特尔》 |
| [04:05] | Yeah, well, now speaking of cookbooks… | 是的 现在说到食谱 |
| [04:07] | Um, did I mention I’m writing a cookbook? | 我有没有提过我在写食谱 |
| [04:09] | You mean the cookbook you’ve somehow managed to work into | 你是指上个月每次谈话你都想办法提起的 |
| [04:10] | every conversation in the last month? | 那本食谱吗 |
| [04:12] | That’s probably the one, yes. | 可能就是那本 是的 |
| [04:13] | Well, I have been very busy cooking and taste-testing, | 我一直忙着做菜 尝菜 |
| [04:17] | practicing my banter | 练习开玩笑 |
| [04:18] | for the inevitable big city book signings. | 为将来无法避免的签售会做准备 |
| [04:20] | If you need any help with your book, | 假如你的食谱需要帮忙 |
| [04:22] | I can slip you my chicken piccata recipe. | 我可以把我嫩煎鸡排的食谱透露给你 |
| [04:24] | I can help, too. | 我也能帮忙 |
| [04:25] | Sometimes I think my peanut-butter blondies | 有时我觉得我的花生酱蛋糕 |
| [04:27] | are the only thing my family respects about me. | 是我家人尊重我的唯一理由 |
| [04:30] | They are, and that’s so generous, | 是的 你们真慷慨 |
| [04:31] | but this is — it’s a Beverly Goldberg cook — | 可这是 贝弗莉·金伯格食 |
| [04:35] | I swear to God, if you say the word “cookbook” one more time, | 我向天发誓 假如你再说一次”食谱” |
| [04:37] | I’m gonna stab myself with this tiny jam spreader! | 我就用这把小果酱刀捅死自己 |
| [04:39] | Me too! All you talk about is that gosh darn cookbook | 我也是 你满嘴都是那该死的食谱 |
| [04:42] | and how you’re gonna be thick as thieves with Julia Child! | 和你以后会和名厨朱莉娅·查尔德形影不离 |
| [04:44] | All I’m saying is that sometimes you just know | 我只是说 有时你认识某个人前 |
| [04:47] | you’re gonna be best friends with someone before you meet them, | 就知道你会跟他成为挚友 |
| [04:49] | and that’s obviously very threatening to the three of you. | 那显然威胁到了你们三个 |
| [04:52] | It really is not! | 真心不是 |
| [04:54] | It’s just that when we all get together, | 只是当我们聚会时 |
| [04:56] | all you do is talk about cooking. | 你只知道说你做菜的事 |
| [04:57] | Or the Bevolution. Or you trying to be a lawyer. | 或是贝弗大改造 或是你想成为律师 |
| [05:01] | I was not prepared for that tsunami of jealousy | 我没准备好面临海啸般的嫉妒 |
| [05:04] | coming at me right now. | 这样扑面而来 |
| [05:05] | I’m sorry the rest of you | 真遗憾你们几个 |
| [05:06] | don’t have anything exciting going on in your lives. | 生活中没有任何值得激动的事 |
| [05:09] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [05:10] | I think you should go. | 我觉得你该走了 |
| [05:11] | Go? It’s my house! | 我走 这是我家 |
| [05:12] | You go! | 你们走 |
| [05:14] | Oh, but before you go, which one of these | 但在你们走前 这两张照片 |
| [05:15] | would look better on the front of my cookbook? | 哪张做我的食谱封面更好看 |
| [05:17] | – Unbelievable. – You’re the worst. | -难以置信 -你最烦人了 |
| [05:20] | As the Frentas ditched my mom, | 姐妹团甩掉我妈时 |
| [05:22] | we were doing our best to get to know our cousin. | 我们正尽全力去了解我们的亲戚 |
| [05:25] | Where’s unfunny Gleb? | 不搞笑的格列布哪去了 |
| [05:26] | Outside opening and closing the garage door with the clicker. | 在外面 用遥控器开关车库门 |
| [05:29] | On the plus side, it killed three hours. | 从好的方面看 他玩了三小时了 |
| [05:31] | Why are we stuck babysitting a complete stranger? | 我们为什么要给一个彻底的陌生人当保姆 |
| [05:35] | Stranger. That’s it! | 陌生人 对了 |
| [05:37] | Yep, Barry’s brilliant plan | 没错 巴瑞的绝妙计划 |
| [05:39] | was inspired by this ’80s gem. | 是受这部八十年代的经典剧集启发 |
| [05:41] | Cheggit! | 看 |
| [05:41] | Looks like we got our very own Balki Bartokomous. | 看来我们有了自己的巴尔基·巴塔可莫斯 |
| [05:44] | The lovable foreign guy from “Perfect Strangers”? | 《活宝兄弟》中可爱的外国伙计 |
| [05:46] | Oh, yes. | 没错 |
| [05:47] | And that makes the three of us | 那我们三个就成了 |
| [05:48] | Coe-sin Larry. | 亲戚拉瑞 |
| [05:50] | Crazy as it seems, this was 100% true. | 尽管看起来疯狂 但这百分百是真的 |
| [05:53] | Just like the classic sitcom, | 就像经典情景剧一样 |
| [05:54] | we had a kooky cousin from the Old Country living with us. | 我们也有一位故土来的古怪亲戚来同住 |
| [05:57] | Only one question remained. | 剩下的唯一问题是 |
| [05:58] | But what do we need a Balki for? | 可我们为什么需要一个巴尔基 |
| [06:00] | Hello? | 拜托 |
| [06:00] | We got a dude who will do whatever we say | 我们有了对我们言听计从的伙计 |
| [06:03] | ’cause he’s trusting and unfamiliar with our ways. | 因为他轻信人又不熟悉我们的生活 |
| [06:06] | Do what, exactly? | 具体要做什么 |
| [06:07] | He’s an adult man. | 他是个成年人 |
| [06:08] | That means he can buy us beer | 那意味着他可以帮我们买啤酒 |
| [06:10] | and rent us cars and co-sign loans. | 帮我们租车 联名贷款 |
| [06:13] | The sky’s the limit. | 想怎样就怎样 |
| [06:14] | Come on. | 别闹了 |
| [06:15] | Gleb won’t just blindly do whatever we say. | 格列布不会对我们言听计从的 |
| [06:17] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [06:19] | For the past ten minutes, he’s been listening to | 过去的十分钟他都在听 |
| [06:21] | that special cassette that cleans the tape deck. | 那盘清理磁带卡座的特殊磁带 |
| [06:24] | Dude, using our childlike foreign relative for our own selfish gain | 哥们 利用天真的外国亲戚自私自利 |
| [06:27] | is crossing a line. | 这过线了 |
| [06:28] | Not to mention, | 更别提 |
| [06:29] | “Perfect Strangers” is built on the flimsiest of premises. | 《活宝兄弟》的剧情非常薄弱 |
| [06:32] | You both make good points that are hard to ignore. | 你俩的观点都很有道理很难无视 |
| [06:34] | And yet, I will. | 然而我选择无视 |
| [06:38] | And so Barry proceeded | 于是巴瑞继续 |
| [06:39] | to “Perfect Stranger” our cousin Gleb. | 让格列布模仿《活宝兄弟》 |
| [06:41] | It just so happens, | 巧的是 |
| [06:42] | it was on the windiest day in Philadelphia history. | 那是费城史上风最大的一天 |
| [07:13] | Don’t move. | 别动 |
| [07:16] | So, you are using him as your Balki | 所以你让他做你的巴尔基 |
| [07:19] | even though we told you not to? | 尽管我们告诉你别这样做 |
| [07:20] | – I am. – Looks kinda fun. | -是的 -看起来挺有趣 |
| [07:22] | It is. | 确实有趣 |
| [07:44] | Hanging with Gleb turned out to be a real hoot. | 跟格列布一起玩原来特别有趣 |
| [07:46] | As for my mom, | 至于我妈 |
| [07:47] | she was ready to make a real apology. | 她正准备好好道歉 |
| [07:49] | Ladies, thank you for coming here today. | 女士们 多谢你们今天过来 |
| [07:53] | I know things got a bit tense at our last brunch, | 我知道上次早午餐时局面有点紧张 |
| [07:56] | but everything’s made better with tea and babka. | 但茶和巴布卡蛋糕能让一切变得更好 |
| [07:59] | Babka does help. | 巴布卡蛋糕确实有用 |
| [08:01] | Look, you guys are my dearest friends, | 你们是我最亲爱的朋友 |
| [08:04] | and I don’t want you thinking | 我不想让你们觉得 |
| [08:05] | that I can’t go ten seconds without talking about myself. | 我十秒钟不谈自己都不行 |
| [08:09] | Well, it’s only every 30 seconds. | 不过是每三十秒而已 |
| [08:13] | Oh, come on. | 别这样 |
| [08:15] | You all know I can go at least 30 minutes. | 你们都知道我至少能挺三十分钟 |
| [08:18] | What? I can. | 怎么 我能 |
| [08:20] | I’ll tell ya what. If you can go ten minutes | 告诉你吧 假如你能挺十分钟 |
| [08:22] | without making a single reference to yourself — | 不提关于自己的任何事 |
| [08:25] | – Your kids. – Your opinions. | -你的孩子们 -你的看法 |
| [08:26] | – Your sweaters. – Your couponing expertise. | -你的毛衣 -你使优惠券的本事 |
| [08:28] | How Farrah Fawcett stole your look. | 法拉·福塞特抄袭了你的造型 |
| [08:29] | Your matchmaking. | 你当红娘的本事 |
| [08:30] | Let’s not forget about the cookbook. | 我们别忘了还有那本食谱 |
| [08:31] | Then you’ll have proven us wrong. | 那你就证明我们都错了 |
| [08:33] | And what happens when I immediately prove you all wrong? | 我立即证明你们都错了之后呢 |
| [08:37] | Well, then, we will admit you’re right, | 那我们就承认你是对的 |
| [08:38] | and then for the next ten brunches, | 接下来的十次早午餐 |
| [08:40] | all we’ll do is talk about you. | 我们只谈论你 |
| [08:42] | That’s my dream. | 那是我的梦想 |
| [08:44] | Challenge accepted, suckas. | 我接受挑战 衰人们 |
| [08:46] | Go! | 开始 |
| [08:47] | And so began my mom’s epic journey to listen. | 于是我妈开始了伟大的倾听之旅 |
| [08:51] | Yeah. Turns out, it was hard. | 是啊 原来倾听很难 |
| [08:54] | She endured stories about other people’s kids… | 她忍受着他人孩子们的故事 |
| [08:58] | …other people’s opinions… | 他人的看法 |
| [09:01] | other people’s lives… | 他人的生活 |
| [09:02] | I’m just gonna stretch. You guys keep talking. | 我只是拉伸一下 你们接着说 |
| [09:04] | …and the hardest of all — other people’s cooking. | 还有最艰难的 他人做的菜 |
| [09:07] | …when Chad said that my chicken was dry. | 查德说我做的鸡肉很干 |
| [09:10] | Cookbook! | 食谱 |
| [09:11] | Cooookbooook! | 食谱 |
| [09:13] | Oh, I have a cookbook with so many recipes | 我有本食谱 上面有那么多食谱 |
| [09:15] | that Chad would like more than your bone-dry chicken! | 查德肯定会觉得比你的干巴鸡肉好吃 |
| [09:18] | Also, Adam went to a sci-fi convention, | 另外 亚当去了科幻展会 |
| [09:20] | and Barry’s applying to Penn, | 巴瑞正在申请宾州大 |
| [09:21] | and Erica, there’s not much going on there, | 爱丽卡最近什么都没做 |
| [09:23] | but she’s still a beautiful angel | 但她仍是美丽的天使 |
| [09:24] | and so much better than your kids, | 比你们的孩子好多了 |
| [09:25] | and, oh, my God, that felt so good. | 我的天 感觉太爽了 |
| [09:27] | – And you lose. – Come on. | -你输了 -有没有搞错 |
| [09:29] | That had to have been at least nine minutes. | 肯定至少有九分钟了 |
| [09:31] | – It was two. – Oh, speaking of telling time, | -才两分钟 -说到报时 |
| [09:33] | you know, Murray got me this new Swatch for our anniversary. | 默里在纪念日给我买了这块新斯沃琪表 |
| [09:35] | Okay. We’re gonna go now. | 好吧 我们要走了 |
| [09:37] | No. Double or nothing? | 别走 双倍或全输 |
| [09:38] | Fine. Go. | 行 走吧 |
| [09:40] | Farrah did steal my look! | 法拉就是抄袭了我的造型 |
| [09:44] | We had “Perfect Stranger”ed our distant cousin Gleb, | 我们让远亲格列布模仿《活宝兄弟》 |
| [09:46] | and it was all working out perfectly. | 一切都进展得很顺利 |
| [09:48] | At least, we thought it was. | 至少我们是这样以为的 |
| [09:50] | So, how’s it going with your cousin? | 你们跟亲戚相处得如何 |
| [09:52] | – Aces. – So great. | -棒极了 -特别好 |
| [09:53] | We’ve been having a blast showing Gleb around. | 我们带格列布四处去逛 特别开心 |
| [09:56] | Like yesterday, | 例如昨天 |
| [09:57] | he was dying to drive me to the Starlog Convention in Jersey. | 他特别想载我去泽西的星志展会 |
| [10:00] | Oh, and today, | 今天 |
| [10:01] | he insisted on renting me a shore house for the summer. | 他坚持帮我租海滨房过暑假 |
| [10:04] | He’s the coolest barely-cousin I’ve ever had. | 他是我最酷的勉强算是亲戚 |
| [10:07] | No! Is lies! | 不 都是谎言 |
| [10:08] | They treat me like idiot and use me for your personal gain. | 他们把我当白痴 为私利来利用我 |
| [10:12] | The sweaty boy make me buy crossbow. | 这个爱出汗的小子逼我买弩 |
| [10:14] | Crossbow? You can’t have that! | 弩 你不能玩弩 |
| [10:16] | Ah, according to this license, I can. | 这张许可说我能 |
| [10:19] | Lady sister make me rent beach house | 小妹妹逼我租海滨房 |
| [10:21] | so can party like NBA star. | 好让她像球星一样开派对 |
| [10:24] | And tiny one make me drive him | 最小的逼我开车载他 |
| [10:26] | to American virgin space festival. | 去美国处男太空节 |
| [10:29] | I’m just gonna assume there’s something lost in translation here. | 我姑且假设有些地方没翻译明白 |
| [10:32] | You raise spoiled children | 你养的孩子都被惯坏了 |
| [10:34] | who make me be Balki Bartokomous from “Perfect Stranger” TV show. | 他们逼我模仿《活宝兄弟》中的巴尔基 |
| [10:38] | You get “Perfect Strangers” in the Old Country? | 你们在故土也有《活宝兄弟》看吗 |
| [10:40] | Nyet! | 不是 |
| [10:41] | You play it in front of me | 你们就在我面前放那剧 |
| [10:43] | and say your plan out loud, like fools! | 还跟白痴一样把计划大声说出来 |
| [10:46] | That, we did. | 我们确实这么做了 |
| [10:47] | What is wrong with you? | 你们这是什么毛病 |
| [10:49] | You were supposed to get to know him. | 你们本该了解他 |
| [10:51] | In our defense, | 自辩一句 |
| [10:52] | our time together was packed with kooky misadventures | 我们共处的时光满是古怪的不幸 |
| [10:54] | and we had very little time to dig in. | 我们都没时间讲 |
| [10:56] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [10:57] | He came all this way to America. | 他大老远来美国 |
| [10:59] | Show him America. | 带他看看美国 |
| [11:01] | And show him, we did. | 于是我们带他看了 |
| [11:03] | We jetted off for a day of bonding with Coe-sin Gleb. | 我们立即开始了和亲戚格列布的一天 |
| [11:06] | We knew the guy had a thing for fresh fruit, | 我们知道他喜欢新鲜水果 |
| [11:08] | so we began at the Baederwood Market. | 所以我们从贝德伍德市集开始 |
| [11:10] | It made him happy. | 那让他很开心 |
| [11:12] | Next, we took Gleb | 接下来 我们带格列布 |
| [11:13] | to see the latest “Rocky” movie. | 去看了最新的《洛奇》 |
| [11:14] | I must break you. | 我必须击垮你 |
| [11:16] | But the Russian lost. | 可电影里苏联输了 |
| [11:17] | It made him sad. | 那让他很不开心 |
| [11:18] | So, to cheer up funny Gleb, | 于是 为了让搞笑格列布高兴 |
| [11:21] | we figured we’d introduce him | 我们决定向他介绍 |
| [11:22] | to America’s favorite Russian comedian of the ’80s — | 八十年代美国人最爱的苏联喜剧人 |
| [11:24] | Yakov Smirnoff. | 雅科夫·斯米诺夫 |
| [11:26] | Good thing about doing comedy in Russia, | 在苏联讲笑话最棒的地方是 |
| [11:28] | you have captured audience. | 观众一下就被捕获了 |
| [11:31] | Unfortunately, Gleb found his act | 不幸的是 格列布觉得他的笑话 |
| [11:33] | a little too real. | 过于真实了 |
| [11:34] | What’s going on? | 你们在做什么 |
| [11:35] | I thought you were out showing Gleb the town. | 我以为你们在带格列布观光 |
| [11:37] | No! First they show me “Rocky IV,” | 没有 他们先带我看了《洛奇4》 |
| [11:40] | then they force me to listen to man | 然后逼我听这个人 |
| [11:42] | who make fun of horrors of the past. | 拿过去可怕的事说笑 |
| [11:45] | Why?! | 为什么 |
| [11:46] | Is no humor! | 这不好笑 |
| [11:47] | Okay, well, when he puts it like that, | 好吧 他这么说的话 |
| [11:48] | it sounds like we’re not good family members. | 让我们听起来像很糟糕的家人 |
| [11:50] | Albert, your children’s children are people of garbage. | 艾伯特 你的外孙们简直是垃圾人 |
| [11:54] | I have to say I agree. | 我不得不同意 |
| [11:57] | All I wanted was to give you everything my family never had… | 我只想给你们我家人从未有过的一切 |
| [12:01] | but all I did was spoil you rotten. | 可我只把你们惯得没了样子 |
| [12:04] | You got to be very careful of what jokes you say. | 你开玩笑时必须小心 |
| [12:06] | If you say, like, “Take my wife, please,” | 你要是说”请带走我妻子” |
| [12:08] | you get home, she’s gone. | 回家时她就不在了 |
| [12:15] | Bev! | 贝弗 |
| [12:16] | You’re here! Hello! | 你来了 你好啊 |
| [12:18] | Hey, Ginzy. | 尼亚 |
| [12:19] | Just thought I’d pop by and return your Cuisinart. | 我想把你的料理机还你 |
| [12:21] | Oh, no. Keep it. It’s yours forever. | 不 留着吧 永远是你的了 |
| [12:22] | Have a nice day. | 祝你今天愉快 |
| [12:23] | What?! | 什么 |
| [12:25] | You’re brunching. | 你们在吃早午餐 |
| [12:27] | – Without me? – We can explain. | -不带我 -我们能解释 |
| [12:30] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [12:31] | Okay, you know what? It’s fine. | 好吧 知道吗 没关系 |
| [12:34] | Words were said, feelings were hurt, | 我们都说了狠话 让彼此受伤 |
| [12:37] | but I am a big enough person | 但我这人够大度 |
| [12:39] | to pretend that none of this has ever happened. | 可以假装这一切从没发生过 |
| [12:40] | Sorry, seat’s taken. | 抱歉 这座位有人了 |
| [12:42] | But this happened. | 可这一幕发生了 |
| [12:44] | The Frentas replaced my mom with another yenta. | 姐妹团用另一个长舌妇代替了我妈 |
| [12:46] | Oh, for God’s sakes. | 老天爷啊 |
| [12:48] | You invited Eileen Leffler instead of me? | 你们请了艾琳·莱弗勒不请我 |
| [12:51] | We just want a friend who doesn’t only talk about herself. | 我们只想要一个不只谈论自己的朋友 |
| [12:54] | And she listens to us and even asks follow-up questions. | 她听我们说话甚至还有后续问题 |
| [12:57] | Here’s a follow-up question, Linda. | 我给你个后续问题 琳达 |
| [12:59] | Not a lot of people came to your New Year’s party, | 你新年派对没几个人去 |
| [13:02] | and I felt bad for you. | 我为你难过 |
| [13:03] | That is not a question. | 那不是问题 |
| [13:05] | It’s a hurtful statement. | 是个伤人的声明 |
| [13:06] | I cannot believe you just thought | 真不敢相信你们以为 |
| [13:07] | you were gonna replace me. | 能就这样代替我 |
| [13:09] | No one is replacing anyone. | 没人要代替你 |
| [13:10] | There’s room for five Frentas. | 姐妹团有五个人的位置 |
| [13:12] | Well, there’s only four drying stations at the salon. | 沙龙只有四个吹风机 |
| [13:14] | What, someone’s gonna sit at the end with a towel on her head, | 怎么 某人得头上缠着毛巾坐在边上 |
| [13:17] | like a chump? | 跟个傻蛋似的吗 |
| [13:18] | I thought we would just take turns. | 我以为我们可以轮流吹 |
| [13:20] | Look, you are my dearest and closest friends, | 你们是我最亲爱最亲密的朋友 |
| [13:24] | and I love you so much, | 我是如此爱你们 |
| [13:26] | but right now you’re acting like a bunch of axxxxxxx. | 可现在你们就像一群王八犊子一样 |
| [13:29] | Okay, if I may pipe in here. | 好吧 容我说句话 |
| [13:31] | Beverly, I truly admire you, | 贝弗莉 我是真心尊敬你 |
| [13:34] | and I think you are an amazing woman, | 我认为你是个了不起的女人 |
| [13:37] | but it seems like you’re acting like the axxxxxx here. | 但看起来你现在才像王八犊子一样 |
| [13:40] | How dare you?! | 你怎么敢 |
| [13:42] | The potty mouth on this one! | 这人嘴怎么这么脏 |
| [13:45] | That’s who you wanna replace me with? | 你们就想用这种人代替我 |
| [13:48] | Well, fxxxxxx! | 去你们妈的 |
| [13:50] | And so my mom swore off the Frentas forever. | 于是我妈永远放弃了姐妹团 |
| [13:52] | Meanwhile, Pops had taken it upon himself | 与此同时 老爷子自己担起任务 |
| [13:55] | to show just how spoiled his grandkids had become. | 让他的外孙们看看他们被惯成了什么德行 |
| [13:57] | What the hell? | 搞什么鬼 |
| [13:58] | Why is Gleb wearing my Flyers shirt? | 格列布为什么穿着我的飞人队上衣 |
| [14:01] | Forget your dumb shirt. | 别管你的蠢上衣了 |
| [14:02] | Why does he have my Caboodle? | 我的小箱子怎么在他手里 |
| [14:03] | You mean Gleb’s Caboodle. | 你是指格列布的小箱子 |
| [14:05] | Is perfect for storing beets and cabbage. | 放甜菜和白菜正好 |
| [14:07] | I’ve decided to take everything | 我给你们买过的所有东西 |
| [14:09] | I’ve ever bought you and give it to Gleb. | 我决定都送给格列布 |
| [14:11] | – What?! – No way! | -什么 -没门 |
| [14:12] | But it’s our stuff! | 可那是我们的东西 |
| [14:13] | But Gleb actually appreciates it | 可格列布会真的感谢我 |
| [14:15] | and, frankly, needs it more than you. | 而且说实话 他比你们更需要 |
| [14:17] | He needs my Chairry? | 他需要我的椅子哥吗 |
| [14:19] | He can’t have my keytar. | 我的键盘吉他不能给他 |
| [14:20] | Gleb needs my Nintendo Power Pad? | 格列布需要我的任天堂超级毯吗 |
| [14:22] | You mean Nintendo blanket. | 你是指任天堂盖毯 |
| [14:23] | This is crazy! | 这太疯狂了 |
| [14:25] | What’s he gonna do with a lacrosse stick? | 他要曲棍球棒有什么用 |
| [14:27] | Is perfect for scooping up rodent or fighting bat. | 用来铲老鼠打蝙蝠正好 |
| [14:30] | Not cool, Pops! | 太过分了 老爷子 |
| [14:31] | He can’t just take my | 他不能就这么拿走 |
| [14:32] | “WKRP in Cincinnati” record player! | 我的”辛辛那提WKRP”唱机 |
| [14:34] | Is not for making pancake? | 这不是做煎饼用的吗 |
| [14:36] | No. It’s for living out radio workplace fantasies. | 不是 那是为了体验电台梦的 |
| [14:38] | And if I have to explain that to you, | 假如我不得不向你解释 |
| [14:40] | it’s clear you don’t deserve it. | 很明显你不值得拥有它 |
| [14:41] | He deserves it more than you. | 他比你更值得拥有 |
| [14:42] | Okay, I think if we just calm down and take a breath, | 好吧 我想假如我们都冷静下来深呼吸 |
| [14:45] | we’d all realize that | 我们都会明白 |
| [14:47] | Gleb can’t take my GI Joe Space Shuttle | 格列布不能拿走我的特种兵航天飞机 |
| [14:49] | and Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker! | 和史努比刨冰机 |
| [14:51] | I need those to live! | 没这些我不能活 |
| [14:52] | I think that’s the problem. | 我觉得问题就在这 |
| [14:54] | Fine! We admit it. | 好吧 我们承认 |
| [14:55] | We’re selfish kids and we don’t know how good we got it. | 我们是不知道生活有多好的自私小孩 |
| [14:58] | Now give me back my WWF Wrestling Ring, | 现在把我的摔跤台还给我 |
| [15:01] | or I will cry right here, right now. | 否则我立即就在这开哭 |
| [15:05] | You learned nothing. | 你们什么都没学到 |
| [15:06] | All I wanted to do was show you kids where I came from. | 我只想让你们这些孩子看看我的出身 |
| [15:09] | It was my fault for thinking you’d care. | 以为你们会在意 是我错了 |
| [15:14] | Here. Take your dog snow machine. | 给 狗狗造雪机还给你 |
| [15:16] | We have plenty of snow in Russia. | 我们在苏联有的是雪 |
| [15:18] | Pops was right. | 老爷子说得对 |
| [15:19] | We really did need to take a long, hard look at ourselves. | 我们真的需要认真审视一下自己 |
| [15:22] | Meanwhile, my mom was looking for some new friends. | 与此同时 我妈正在找新朋友 |
| [15:25] | Heyyy, there’s my Mentas! | 我的男妹团在这呢 |
| [15:27] | – Mentas? – Mentas. | -男妹团 -男妹团 |
| [15:29] | You know, men yentas who are friends also. | 就是兼职朋友的男人姐妹团 |
| [15:32] | I just coined it. | 我刚编的 |
| [15:33] | Well, un-coin it. | 那再拆了 |
| [15:34] | What are you doing at Bill’s house? | 你来比尔家做什么 |
| [15:36] | Sure, I’d love to hang out with you. Thanks. | 好啊 我很愿意跟你们待着 谢了 |
| [15:39] | So… | 所以 |
| [15:42] | what’s on tap for today? | 今天有什么打算 |
| [15:44] | Watching the big sports event? | 看大球赛吗 |
| [15:45] | Terrible game. | 打得烂透了 |
| [15:46] | It’s unwatchable. | 没法看 |
| [15:47] | Maybe we should have brunch. You boys look hungry. | 或许我们该吃早午餐 你们看起来饿了 |
| [15:50] | Got it covered. | 已经搞定了 |
| [15:51] | Wing helmet. | 鸡翅头盔 |
| [15:52] | I think I’ll pass. | 我还是不要了 |
| [15:53] | More for us. | 那都是我们的了 |
| [15:54] | So, this is your entire day, huh? | 你们一整天就这么过吗 |
| [15:55] | Sure. | 是啊 |
| [15:56] | Sitting on your ass, eating helmet wings? | 就坐着 吃头盔里的鸡翅 |
| [15:58] | Sure. | 是啊 |
| [15:59] | That’s what Bill wanted. It is his birthday and all. | 这是比尔想要的 怎么说也是他生日 |
| [16:01] | For God’s sakes, it’s his birthday? | 老天爷啊 今天是他生日 |
| [16:03] | Did you at least get him a gift? | 你至少给他买礼物了吧 |
| [16:05] | Of course he did. Wing helmet. | 当然买了 就是鸡翅头盔 |
| [16:07] | Show her the wing helmet again, Mur. | 再给她看看鸡翅头盔 老默 |
| [16:09] | I don’t think she got a close enough look. | 我觉得她没看清楚 |
| [16:10] | – Wing helmet. – I’ve seen the wing helmet. | -鸡翅头盔 -我看到鸡翅头盔了 |
| [16:13] | Hey, what’s going on here? It’s Sunday. | 怎么回事 今天是周日 |
| [16:15] | Why aren’t you out eating quiche with the ladies | 你怎么不和那些挡我电视的朋友 |
| [16:17] | who walk in front of my TV? | 一起去吃乳蛋饼 |
| [16:19] | You know, the ones whose, uh, | 就是那些 |
| [16:20] | hair shadows I see in the dining room. | 我在餐厅看到过她们头发影子的人 |
| [16:22] | I know who you mean. | 我知道你说的是谁 |
| [16:24] | And they don’t wanna see me ’cause… | 她们不想见我 因为 |
| [16:27] | they said I’m selfish. | 她们说我自私 |
| [16:30] | And they’re right. | 她们说得对 |
| [16:31] | I’ve been a bad friend. | 我是个糟糕的朋友 |
| [16:35] | Enjoy your game. | 你们好好看比赛吧 |
| [16:37] | Sorry to bother you. | 抱歉打扰你们了 |
| [16:40] | Oh, boy. | 老天 |
| [16:43] | The Frentas called out my mom for being selfish. | 姐妹团指明我妈的自私 |
| [16:45] | Luckily, Beverly had a Menta in her corner. | 幸运的是 贝弗莉有个男妹团为她助阵 |
| [16:47] | Ladies, it seems we have a visitor. | 女士们 看来我们有访客了 |
| [16:49] | This will only take a second. | 只要一会就好 |
| [16:50] | Uh, Marcie, Shelly, Tabitha… | 玛茜 谢莉 塔比瑟 |
| [16:54] | um, I’m sorry, I forgot your name. | 抱歉我忘了你的名字 |
| [16:55] | You’ve actually forgotten all our names. | 你其实谁的名字都没记住 |
| [16:57] | And if Beverly sent you, you can tell her — | 假如是贝弗莉让你来的 你可以告诉她 |
| [17:00] | She did not send me. | 不是她让我来的 |
| [17:01] | I came on my own to let you guys know | 我自己想来 想让你们知道 |
| [17:04] | what a great friend she is. | 她是个很好的朋友 |
| [17:05] | Who only wants to talk about herself. | 她是想聊她自己 |
| [17:06] | Yes. But to me, she only talks about you guys. | 是的 可对我 她只聊你们 |
| [17:10] | Murray, it’s sweet you’re here | 默里 你来这里很贴心 |
| [17:12] | and honestly surprising to see you out of your chair, | 而且说实话 见你不坐在椅子里很惊人 |
| [17:15] | but we know it’s not true. | 但我们知道这不是事实 |
| [17:16] | Oh, but it is true. | 可就是事实 |
| [17:18] | She was so jazzed | 听说寂寞希 |
| [17:19] | when Jimothy won that Flower Grower of the Year Award. | 赢了那个年度花农奖 她特别开心 |
| [17:22] | It’s Charles, and, um, when I mentioned it to her, | 是查尔斯 我跟她提起来时 |
| [17:24] | she didn’t seem to care. | 她看起来并不在意 |
| [17:25] | But she does care. | 可她在意 |
| [17:27] | And you…uh…Cindy? | 还有你 辛迪 |
| [17:29] | Your place in Florida? | 你在弗罗里达的房子 |
| [17:31] | She’s doing everything she can to get me down there. | 她正用尽一切办法拉我去做客 |
| [17:33] | It’s Essie. And really? | 我叫埃西 真的吗 |
| [17:34] | And you, Patty, | 还有你 帕蒂 |
| [17:36] | she cannot stop talking about your son Stevie | 她不住口地夸你儿子史蒂夫 |
| [17:38] | and how he can go to any Ivy League School that he wants. | 说长春藤名校任他挑 |
| [17:42] | It’s Geoff. But that’s sweet. | 是杰夫 但这真贴心 |
| [17:44] | Look, I know she talks a lot about her family. | 我知道她总说她家人 |
| [17:46] | But to her, you’re family. | 但对她而言你们就是家人 |
| [17:54] | What’s all this? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [17:55] | Well, we were hoping you might like a little brunch. | 我们希望你想吃点早午餐 |
| [17:59] | But you don’t need me. | 可你们不需要我 |
| [18:01] | And why would you? | 你们为什么需要 |
| [18:02] | I haven’t been there for you. | 我一直没有支持你们 |
| [18:03] | And I know I always talk about my life, | 我知道我只顾谈论我的生活 |
| [18:05] | but it’s just because… | 可那只是因为 |
| [18:07] | I envy you all in so many ways. | 我在很多方面都嫉妒你们 |
| [18:11] | I just want to be as amazing as you are. | 我只想像你们一样出色 |
| [18:13] | No. You are amazing. | 不 你很出色 |
| [18:16] | Now, I don’t know if you’ve heard, | 我不知道你听说没有 |
| [18:17] | but you’re writing a cookbook. | 但你在写一本食谱 |
| [18:19] | Everybody’s talking about it. | 所有人都在谈论这件事 |
| [18:21] | Well, good. | 很好 |
| [18:23] | Because I’m gonna need those recipes you offered up. | 因为我需要你们说要给我的食谱 |
| [18:26] | I’m gonna put them front and center. | 我要放在最显眼的位置 |
| [18:27] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [18:29] | Of course. | 当然 |
| [18:31] | I mean, yes, it’s a Beverly Goldberg Cookbook, | 是的 那是贝弗莉·金伯格食谱 |
| [18:34] | but who’s Beverly Goldberg without her Frentas? | 可没有了姐妹团贝弗莉·金伯格又是谁 |
| [18:37] | With that, my mom got her best friends back. | 就这样 我妈找回了挚友 |
| [18:40] | All it took was a little help from the most unlikely of places. | 不过是因为看似最不可能的人帮了点忙 |
| [18:43] | Thanks to my dad, the Frentas finally realized | 多亏了我爸 姐妹团终于意识到 |
| [18:46] | that when it came to my mom, | 对我妈来说 |
| [18:48] | they were family, too. | 她们也是家人 |
| [18:51] | Is that you? | 那是你吗 |
| [18:53] | Doesn’t matter. | 不重要 |
| [18:54] | No, it does. | 不 很重要 |
| [18:55] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [18:56] | We’re stupid and selfish | 我们又蠢又自私 |
| [18:58] | and have no idea how good we have it. | 不知道自己的生活有多好 |
| [19:00] | Look, I didn’t want you to feel bad about what you have, | 我不想让你们为自己的生活而内疚 |
| [19:04] | but we all dreamed of coming here to start a new life. | 但我们当初都梦想来这里开始新生活 |
| [19:09] | Well, we really are grateful that we have a grandfather | 我们真的很感激 能有位外公 |
| [19:12] | who was brave enough to go look for one. | 勇敢到真的来找新生活 |
| [19:14] | Thank you. | 谢谢你们 |
| [19:16] | But I’m not the one you have to apologize to. | 但你们该道歉的人不是我 |
| [19:21] | In the end, sometimes the best way to say you’re sorry | 归根结底 有时道歉的最好方式 |
| [19:24] | is to start over. | 就是重新开始 |
| [19:27] | You’re packing? | 你在打包吗 |
| [19:28] | But your trip’s not over for another week. | 可你的行程还有一周 |
| [19:30] | I think is nothing to see here. | 我觉得这里没什么可看的 |
| [19:32] | You may be wrong about that. | 这你或许说错了 |
| [19:37] | Is tickets? | 票 |
| [19:38] | To the Phillies game. | 去看费城人比赛 |
| [19:40] | We wanted to show you America can be pretty awesome. | 我们想让你看看美国也是很棒的 |
| [19:48] | Gleb ended up having the best trip of his life. | 后来这成了格列布一生最开心的旅行 |
| [19:50] | And ’cause of Pops, | 因为老爷子 |
| [19:52] | we made memories that would last a lifetime. | 我们创造了能回味一生的回忆 |
| [19:54] | That’s the thing about family. | 这就是家人的美好之处 |
| [19:56] | You’ll find that if you just take the time to get to know them, | 你会发现假如你花点时间去了解他们 |
| [19:59] | they can go from being perfect strangers | 他们就能从完美陌生人 |
| [20:01] | to people you really love. | 变成你真正爱的人 |
| [20:22] | This American fashion make no sence. | 这种美国时尚根本没道理 |
| [20:24] | Those’re ZCavariccis. | 那可是Z卡瓦里奇的裤子 |
| [20:26] | They’re the coolest in trouser technology. | 那是最酷的裤子科技 |
| [20:28] | But why must there be two belts? | 可是为什么非得有两条腰带 |
| [20:30] | ‘Cause two is always better than one. | 因为两个永远比一个好 |
| [20:33] | Just like wings on a airplane, or a twix. | 比如飞机翅膀 或特趣巧克力 |
| [20:35] | Gleb’m not sure he can pull off LL Cool J hat. | 我觉得我不适合说唱歌手的帽子 |
| [20:38] | You will with these bad boys. | 戴上这牛逼眼镜就好了 |
| [20:42] | But you see much less with these. | 可是戴上就看不清东西了 |
| [20:45] | It’s not about seeing, it’s about being seen. | 重点不在于看 而在于被看到 |
| [20:47] | It seems like ugly fad | 看起来都是丑陋的一时流行 |
| [20:49] | which will not stand test of time, yes? | 经不起时间考验 不是吗 |
| [20:51] | Trust us, G. | 相信我们 老格 |
| [20:52] | The way you look right now, | 你现在这身行头 |
| [20:54] | will always be cool. | 会酷到永远 |
| [20:56] | Always. | 永远 |
| [20:59] | There we go. | 这就对了 |