| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Hang on, hang on… | 等等 等等 |
| [00:03] | you’re not supposed to be here either? | 你也不该来「善地」吗 |
| [00:05] | You’re a mistake, just like me? | 你也是个意外 像我一样 |
| [00:07] | Yeah, and I’m freaking out, dog. | 我都惊惶无措了 大姐 |
| [00:08] | There’s so much thoughts in my brain, | 我脑子里一团乱麻 |
| [00:10] | it’s like my head is filled with rocks. | 都乱成一堆浆糊了 |
| [00:12] | How have you managed to stay undiscovered? | 你怎么没被人发现啊 |
| [00:14] | Because I have had to dodge and weave | 我可是千方百计隐藏自己 |
| [00:16] | and barely escape with my life, and you don’t seem… | 还差点露馅 而我感觉你… |
| [00:21] | like a super genius. | 不像个聪明人 |
| [00:24] | Hello, Jianyu. I’m Michael. | 你好 剑宇 我是迈克尔 |
| [00:27] | Before we start, | 开始之前 |
| [00:28] | I know you were a buddhist monk and kept a vow of silence. | 我知道你生前是佛教弟子 一直恪守缄默法则 |
| [00:32] | Would you prefer to remain silent here as well? | 你今后在这里还想继续这样吗 |
| [00:36] | You literally haven’t said a word since we got here? | 你来「善地」后真没说过一个字吗 |
| [00:39] | Yeah. When I say I’m meditating, | 当然 每次我说我冥想时 |
| [00:41] | I’m just trying to figure out what the fork is happening. | 其实都在琢磨这他喵的是什么情况 |
| [00:43] | I think we might be in an alien zoo | 我觉得这里可能是外星人动物园 |
| [00:46] | or on a prank show. | 或者是「恶搞秀」 |
| [00:47] | No, Jianyu, we’re dead. | 不 剑宇 我们死了 |
| [00:49] | That’s a dope prank. | 这个恶作剧够牛啊 |
| [00:51] | Got to give it up. | 不佩服不行 |
| [00:52] | Okay, I need to make sure that this isn’t some sort of weird trap. | 我得确保这不是有人要整我 |
| [00:57] | Is your real name Jianyu? | 「剑宇」是你真名吗 |
| [00:58] | No. It’s Jason Mendoza. | 不是 我叫杰森·门多萨 |
| [01:00] | And by the way, everyone here thinks I’m Taiwanese. | 话说 大家都认为我是中国台湾人 |
| [01:03] | I’m Filipino. That’s racist. | 我是菲律宾人 这是种族歧视啊 |
| [01:06] | Heaven is so racist. | 天堂也太种族歧视了 |
| [01:07] | But Tahani said that you helped Michael | 可是塔哈妮说你治愈了迈克尔 |
| [01:10] | by putting your hand on his chest | 就是把手放在他胸前 |
| [01:11] | and doing some sort of healing magic. | 施了某种治愈魔法 |
| [01:13] | Yeah. A nurse did that to calm me down once | 是啊 有次我乘摩托艇撞到一头海牛 |
| [01:16] | when I crashed my jet ski into a manatee. | 一个护士就是这么抚慰我的 |
| [01:18] | You crashed your jet ski into a manatee? | 你乘摩托艇撞了一头海牛吗 |
| [01:20] | Yeah. I’m from Jacksonville, Florida. | 是啊 我来自弗罗里达州杰克逊维尔市 |
| [01:22] | It happens a lot. | 那里常有的事 |
| [01:24] | What did you do for a living? | 你做什么工作 |
| [01:25] | I was an amateur DJ specializing in EDM. | 我是个搞EDM的业余DJ |
| [01:28] | Electronic Dance Music. | EDM就是电子舞蹈音乐 |
| [01:30] | I was also an amateur hip-hop backup dancer, | 我还是业余嘻哈伴舞 |
| [01:32] | an amateur body spray inventor… | 还调配香体喷雾… |
| [01:34] | I did pranks on Vine. | 还会发恶搞视频 |
| [01:35] | None of those are jobs. | 这些都不是工作 |
| [01:36] | What did you do to make money? | 你靠什么挣钱 |
| [01:38] | I sold fake drugs to college kids. | 卖给大学生假毒品 |
| [01:40] | Okay, good. | 好吧 很好 |
| [01:42] | Okay, here’s my biggest question: | 那么 我最想不通的就是 |
| [01:44] | How did you know that I didn’t belong here? | 你怎么知道我不属于这里 |
| [01:48] | I figured it out the very first night, | 初来第一晚 我就知道了 |
| [01:50] | at the party, | 就在晚宴上 |
| [01:51] | using my powers of deduction. | 依靠我的推理能力 |
| [01:55] | I heard you don’t talk. | 听说你不说话 |
| [01:56] | Well, here’s something for you to not talk about. | 正好 告诉你一些不能说的秘密 |
| [01:59] | I don’t belong here. | 我不属于这里 |
| [02:02] | They made a mistake. | 他们搞错了 |
| [02:03] | Total phony. | 我是个彻头彻尾的冒牌货 |
| [02:05] | So, shh! | 保密哦 |
| [02:09] | Okay, later, man. | 好了 回见 哥们 |
| [02:11] | Okay. I vaguely remember that. | 好吧 我想起来一点儿 |
| [02:15] | I believe you, Jason. | 我相信你了 杰森 |
| [02:17] | You’re not supposed to be here. | 你不应该来「善地」 |
| [02:19] | Welcome to the bottom of the barrel. | 欢迎加入滥竽充数小分队 |
| [02:29] | Hello, Tahani. | 你好 塔哈妮 |
| [02:31] | Hello, Michael. | 你好 迈克尔 |
| [02:33] | I was just picking out some fresh orchids | 我正挑新鲜兰花呢 |
| [02:34] | for my nightly orchid bath. | 晚上用来泡兰花浴 |
| [02:36] | So, Tahani, one of your fellow residents | 塔哈妮 街区里有个小伙伴 |
| [02:38] | is opening a new restaurant tonight. | 她的新餐馆今晚开张 |
| [02:40] | This neighborhood could use a real morale boost. | 咱们正好能借此来鼓舞大家的士气 |
| [02:42] | And since you’re an expert at event planning, | 既然你是活动策划小能手 |
| [02:45] | I was hoping that you would help with the grand opening. | 我希望你能帮忙筹备一场隆重的开业典礼 |
| [02:47] | Michael, say no more. | 迈克尔 你不用再说了 |
| [02:49] | I wasn’t going to. I was done. | 我也没想再说 我说完了 |
| [02:51] | Well, good, because of course I will. | 太好了 我相当之愿意 |
| [02:54] | Janet? | 珍妮特 |
| [02:55] | – Hey, there. – Hello, darling. | -你好 -亲爱的 你好 |
| [02:56] | I would like to model tonight’s event | 我要按我最成功的宴会 |
| [02:58] | on my most successful gala. | 来举办今晚的典礼 |
| [03:00] | That would be 2006 | 那是2006年 |
| [03:03] | fundraiser for stem cell research in Barcelona. | 你在巴塞罗那为干细胞研究办的募捐宴 |
| [03:06] | “Barthelona,” actually. | 发音应该是「巴萨罗那」 |
| [03:08] | It was a perfect evening. | 那场晚会太完美了 |
| [03:09] | Princess Stephanie was there, | 斯蒂芬妮公主也去了 |
| [03:11] | as were Posh and Becks. | 还有辣妹和小贝 |
| [03:12] | You know, “International Sophisticate Magazine” | 知道吗 「国际专业杂志」 |
| [03:13] | gave us five gwyneths. | 给我们打了五星 |
| [03:17] | Tonight, I’m going to select my jauntiest suit, | 今晚我要穿最时髦的西服出席 |
| [03:20] | and I may even wear suspenders. | 甚至还可能穿吊带裤哦 |
| [03:23] | It’s one of the human clothing items I’m most eager to try. | 这是我最想试穿的人类服装之一 |
| [03:26] | Well, good luck. | 祝你好运 |
| [03:28] | Thank you. Yes, yes. | 谢谢 好的 好的 |
| [03:30] | I’m excited. | 我太激动了 |
| [03:31] | And a little nervous. | 还有点小紧张 |
| [03:32] | I’d say that I’m cautiously optimistic. | 我这应该是审慎乐观吧 |
| [03:35] | I hope I don’t chicken out at the last second. | 希望我别在最后关头怂了 |
| [03:38] | Sorry… we are talking about suspenders, right? | 不好意思… 你是说吊带裤吗 |
| [03:40] | Like… these? | 这种 对吧 |
| [03:42] | You can do that with… | 还可以这样… |
| [03:44] | I cannot wait. | 让人迫不及待啊 |
| [03:46] | Excellent. | 真棒 |
| [03:47] | So, Tahani has no idea about me? | 这么说 塔哈妮还不知道我的事 |
| [03:49] | No. She thinks I’m a monk, | 不知道 她以为我就是个佛僧 |
| [03:51] | and she thinks you’re her best friend. | 而你是她最好的闺蜜 |
| [03:52] | Great. I mean, for us. | 真棒 是对我们很有利 |
| [03:54] | It’s a huge bummer for her. | 对她来说 算她倒霉 |
| [03:56] | We need someplace that we can talk in private. | 我们得找个安全隐蔽的地方说话 |
| [03:59] | I agree. | 没错 |
| [04:01] | Let me show you my bud-hole. | 我带你去我的「屁穴」 |
| [04:03] | What? | 什么 |
| [04:04] | I should warn you: It’s a little messy. | 提前预警一下 有点脏 |
| [04:09] | This is my bud-hole. | 这就是我的「屁穴」 |
| [04:11] | It’s just, like, a hole | 就像一个洞穴 |
| [04:12] | where me and my buds can hang out. | 我和「秘友们」可以在这里玩耍 |
| [04:14] | Bud-hole! | 「秘穴」啊 |
| [04:16] | Okay, now I get it. | 好吧 现在懂了 |
| [04:17] | I wrote down on a piece of paper | 我在一张纸上写 |
| [04:19] | that I needed a private meditation area. | 我需要一个私密空间来冥想 |
| [04:21] | Tahani will never come in. | 所以塔哈妮不会进来 |
| [04:23] | Pretty unique decorating style you have here, Jianyu. | 装潢风格 很「特别」啊 剑宇 |
| [04:26] | It’s like, “12-year-old boy” | 就像12岁小孩 |
| [04:28] | meets “13-year-old boy.” | 跟13岁少年的混合风 |
| [04:30] | Thanks. Janet helped me get all this stuff. | 谢谢 是珍妮特帮我添置的这些东西 |
| [04:33] | She rules. | 她就是「哆啦A梦」 |
| [04:34] | Is she single, or is she married to Michael? | 她单身吗 还是已经和迈克尔结婚了 |
| [04:37] | No, no, dude, you cannot date Janet. | 打住 打住 哥们 你不能打珍妮特主意 |
| [04:39] | A. She’s not human. | 首先 她不是人类 |
| [04:41] | And B. You have to keep pretending to be Tahani’s soul mate. | 其次 你得继续装作塔哈妮的灵魂伴侣 |
| [04:44] | Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. | 行 好吧 |
| [04:47] | Okay, just sit tight, dude. I have a class to get to. | 你就乖乖待着 我要去上课了 |
| [04:50] | Wha… a class? | 什么 上课 |
| [04:51] | I didn’t know there were classes. | 我怎么不知道还有课 |
| [04:53] | Chidi is trying to teach me to be a good person. | 奇迪正在尽力教我做个好人 |
| [04:55] | And it’s really hard. | 这可不简单 |
| [04:57] | Also, Michael has asked me to be his assistant, | 迈克尔还要我当他的助理 |
| [04:59] | whatever that means. | 鬼知道会发生什么 |
| [05:00] | My whole situation here is getting more and more dicey, | 我在这儿的处境越来越危险了 |
| [05:03] | so I’m actually really glad to have a place I can come | 真高兴还能有这样一个地方 |
| [05:05] | when I just want to be myself. | 让我真实地表现自我 |
| [05:08] | Yeah. I miss being myself. | 我好怀念那个真实的自己 |
| [05:10] | Myself was the best. | 做自己才最棒 |
| [05:24] | What’s up, man? You’re Jason? | 你好 你就是杰森吧 |
| [05:26] | You got two minutes. | 给你两分钟时间 |
| [05:27] | Fred Durst is throwing an orgy on a partially capsized yacht. | 弗雷德·德斯特翻掉游艇 正搞淫乐狂欢呢 |
| [05:31] | My dad just texted. It already started. | 我爸刚发短信来说 派对已经开始了 |
| [05:33] | So I’ll get right to the point. | 那我就直说了吧 |
| [05:34] | I listened to your demo. You’re terrible. | 我听了你录的小样 不敢恭维 |
| [05:38] | – Really? – Yeah. | -是吗 -是的 |
| [05:40] | Okay? You just don’t have any… what’s the word? | 你完全没有… 怎么说呢 |
| [05:43] | Talent. | 天赋 |
| [05:44] | But don’t worry. You got something better than talent, man. | 不过别担心 你有比天赋更好的东西 |
| [05:46] | You got my approximate size and weight. | 你跟我体型差不多 |
| [05:49] | I’m supposed to play this club for the rest of the week, | 接下来几天我本来还得在这打碟 |
| [05:51] | but I just got an offer to DJ Scott Disick’s after party | 但我刚得到斯科特·迪西克的一个机会 |
| [05:54] | for the Amateur Porn Awards in Reno. | 给他的雷诺业余色情片颁奖庆功宴打碟 |
| [05:56] | Congrats, bro. That’s the dream. | 恭喜啊 兄弟 我做梦都想去啊 |
| [05:58] | It’s your dream, man. It’s my Tuesday. | 是你的梦 哥们 这是我平常的活儿 |
| [06:00] | I just need somebody to fill in. | 我需要有人来顶替我 |
| [06:02] | Put on the helmet. Press spacebar on the computer. | 戴上头套 按下电脑空格键 |
| [06:04] | Those idiots won’t know the difference. | 那些傻瓜听不出谁是谁 |
| [06:05] | For the next week, Jason, you are acidcat. | 接下来的这周 杰森 你就是「加酸猫」 |
| [06:12] | There’s a lot of old gum in here. | 里面黏了好多嚼过的口香糖啊 |
| [06:14] | Tahani, how are things going in the front of the house? | 塔哈妮 餐厅里面布置得怎么样了 |
| [06:17] | Because, to be perfectly frank, | 坦白讲 |
| [06:18] | things in the kitchen are going great, okay? | 后厨进展非常顺利 |
| [06:20] | I am right on schedule. | 一切按部就班 |
| [06:22] | Chef Patricia, I have triple-checked every single detail. | 帕特里夏大厨 我已经做了再三检查 |
| [06:26] | Your restaurant opening is going to be | 你餐厅的开业典礼将成为 |
| [06:27] | the talk of the entire neighborhood. | 整个街区的热门话题 |
| [06:30] | Thank you for your thoughtfulness and hard work. | 感谢你的细心体贴和辛勤工作 |
| [06:31] | I could not have done this without you. | 要是没有你 我做不了这些 |
| [06:34] | Hello, Tahani. | 你好 塔哈妮 |
| [06:36] | Sorry. I should’ve warned you. | 抱歉 我应该事先提醒你 |
| [06:38] | Patricia is actually very happy, but she’s also very intense. | 帕特里夏其实很开心 不过也很紧张 |
| [06:43] | It can be confusing. | 有时会让人摸不着头脑 |
| [06:44] | No, no, no, that’s not what’s bothering me. | 不 不 我不是因这事而烦心 |
| [06:46] | It’s just that, well, | 只是 好吧 |
| [06:48] | I looked at the guest list earlier, | 我之前看了宾客名单 |
| [06:49] | and Jianyu isn’t invited. | 他们没有邀请剑宇 |
| [06:52] | Right. | 没错 |
| [06:53] | Jianyu is a beautiful spirit, | 剑宇是个内在美丽的人 |
| [06:56] | but he literally doesn’t talk, | 但他完全不说话 |
| [06:58] | and since this will be an evening of lively conversation, | 而今晚大家将会高谈阔论 |
| [07:01] | and you’ll be busy working, | 你又要忙于待客 |
| [07:03] | I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable. | 我不想让他感觉不自在 |
| [07:05] | I totally understand. | 我完全理解 |
| [07:07] | Well reasoned, Michael. | 你说得很有道理 迈克尔 |
| [07:09] | As us brits are fond of saying, | 就像我们英国人爱说的一句话 |
| [07:11] | “Try your best to hide your sadness.” | 「尽最大的努力掩盖悲伤」 |
| [07:16] | So, the concept of the self is a key subject | 所以自我的概念对许多伟大的思想家来说 |
| [07:19] | for a lot of great thinkers. | 是关键课题 |
| [07:21] | In the “Tao Te Ching,” Lao Tzu wrote, | 老子在「道德经」中曾写道 |
| [07:24] | “Knowing others is wisdom, | 「知人者智 |
| [07:27] | but knowing the self is enlightenment.” | 自知者明」 |
| [07:30] | “Knowing” yourself. | 「认识」你自己 |
| [07:33] | Is he talking about what I think he’s talking about? | 他所说的就是我所想的吗 |
| [07:36] | No, Eleanor. Once again, none of these philosophers | 埃莉诺 再说一遍 这些哲学家中 |
| [07:39] | is ever talking about masturbation. | 没有一个在讨论自慰 |
| [07:42] | Let’s move on to this week’s main event, | 我们接下来看这周的主要内容 |
| [07:46] | David Hume’s “A Treatise of Human Nature.” | 大卫·休谟的「人性论」 |
| [07:48] | you read this, right? | 你读了吧 |
| [07:49] | I did. | 读了 |
| [07:50] | Well, I tried to. | 好吧 我试着读了 |
| [07:51] | Well, I tried to want to. | 好吧 我试着让自己愿意去读 |
| [07:54] | Actually, could we postpone this lesson? | 说真的 这节课能推迟一下吗 |
| [07:56] | I’ve befriended Jianyu from next door, | 我和隔壁的剑宇成为朋友了 |
| [07:58] | and I thought I could learn from him. | 我觉得我可以向他学习 |
| [08:01] | That’s a great idea. | 好主意 |
| [08:02] | Hume’s “Bundle theory” of the self is fairly close to buddhism. | 休谟关于自我的「束理论」非常接近佛教思想 |
| [08:06] | Yeah. No durr. That’s why I’m doing it. | 没错 所以我才这么做 |
| [08:11] | Do you hear music? | 听到音乐声了吗 |
| [08:13] | That’s not music. | 那可不是音乐 |
| [08:17] | That’s EDM. | 那是电子舞曲 |
| [08:22] | What are you doing? | 你在搞什么 |
| [08:23] | Eleanor, you were right. | 埃莉诺 你说的没错 |
| [08:25] | No more pretending. It’s time for me to be myself. | 不再装模作样 我要做我自己 |
| [08:28] | What’s up, homie? | 好啊 哥们 |
| [08:29] | Eleanor? | 埃莉诺 |
| [08:30] | You broke Jianyu. | 你带坏剑宇了 |
| [08:36] | Okay, did we miss anything? | 还漏了什么没有 |
| [08:38] | Take that jersey off, you goofball. | 把球衣脱了 你这个疯子 |
| [08:41] | Okay. This is not my fault. I swear. | 我发誓这不是我的错 |
| [08:43] | Eleanor, one hour ago, | 埃莉诺 一个小时之前 |
| [08:44] | that man was a silent buddhist monk. | 这人还是个沉默的佛教弟子 |
| [08:46] | Right. But here’s the thing: | 没错 但事情是这样的 |
| [08:48] | Jianyu is actually… | 剑宇实际上是个… |
| [08:50] | A guy who is nice. | 挺不错的家伙 |
| [08:53] | Hi, Tahani. | 你好 塔哈妮 |
| [08:54] | Eleanor, Chidi, what a lovely surprise. | 埃莉诺 奇迪 真是惊喜呀 |
| [08:55] | Don’t mind me. I’m just dropping off my afternoon gloves, | 别管我 我就是来换了下午戴的手套 |
| [08:58] | and picking up my early evening gloves. | 顺便拿上傍晚用的手套 |
| [09:00] | How are you, soul mate? | 你好吗 灵魂伴侣 |
| [09:01] | I’m cool. | 挺好的 |
| [09:05] | I’m sorry. | 你说什么 |
| [09:07] | Am I going mad, or did I just hear you say, “I’m cool”? | 是我错乱了 还是你真说了「挺好的」 |
| [09:12] | I don’t think so. I don’t think that happened. | 没有吧 我好像没听到 |
| [09:14] | You’re… you’re wrong. | 你听错了 |
| [09:16] | I see what’s going on here. | 我知道怎么回事了 |
| [09:18] | You’ve got a whisper in your snickerbox. | 你已经开始窃窃私语了 |
| [09:20] | You’re both helping Jianyu | 你们在帮助剑宇 |
| [09:23] | to regain his confidence to be able to speak again | 重拾言谈的信心 |
| [09:27] | as a surprise for me! | 想给我一个惊喜 |
| [09:29] | Busted. | 被发现了 |
| [09:31] | My heart is soaring. | 真是太高兴了 |
| [09:35] | So, Jianyu is talking? How wonderful! | 剑宇开口说话了 太棒了 |
| [09:38] | I will do everything in my power to encourage him. | 我会尽我所能鼓励他的 |
| [09:41] | Well, not everything. I won’t give him a second mouth. | 也不是所有一切 我没法再给他一张嘴 |
| [09:43] | Unless that would be helpful. No. | 除非那真的管用 不 |
| [09:45] | Better not risk it. | 还是别冒险了 |
| [09:46] | I’ve actually had a better idea. | 我有个更好的点子 |
| [09:48] | Let’s add Jianyu to the guest list. | 咱们把剑宇加入宾客名单吧 |
| [09:50] | Chidi and Eleanor have been working with him, | 奇迪和埃莉诺都有在帮他 |
| [09:52] | and they’re going to be here. | 他俩今晚也会来 |
| [09:53] | What a great idea. Patricia! | 这主意太棒了 帕特里夏 |
| [09:55] | We can fit another chair, right? | 还能再加个椅子吧 |
| [09:56] | Change the floor plan an hour before opening? | 开始前一小时 改场地排座吗 |
| [10:01] | Of course! The more the merrier! | 当然没问题 人多热闹嘛 |
| [10:03] | Hurrah! | 太棒了 |
| [10:05] | I knew tonight was going to be perfect, | 我就知道今晚一定会很完美 |
| [10:06] | but now it’s going to be even perfect-er. | 现在更完美了 |
| [10:09] | Obviously, it’s impossible for something to be | 显然比完美更完美 |
| [10:11] | more perfect than perfect… | 是不太可能啦 |
| [10:13] | Well, it isn’t, actually. | 事实上不是的 |
| [10:15] | Any place or thing in the universe | 宇宙上的任何事物 |
| [10:17] | can be up to 104% perfect. | 都可以达到104%的完美 |
| [10:22] | That’s how you got Beyonce. | 碧昂斯就是超完美 |
| [10:28] | Bud-hole. Okay. | 「秘穴」 懂了 |
| [10:30] | Now, tell me everything. | 详细解释一下吧 |
| [10:32] | Okay, Jianyu is a fraud, | 剑宇是个冒牌货 |
| [10:36] | just like me. | 就跟我一样 |
| [10:37] | His real name is Jason. | 他真名叫杰森 |
| [10:38] | He’s a drug-dealing DJ from Florida. | 来自弗罗里达 是个DJ毒贩子 |
| [10:41] | It’s gonna be fine. We just need a plan. | 不会有事啦 想个对策就行 |
| [10:45] | I got a plan. | 我想到了 |
| [10:46] | We hack into Michael’s phone, | 咱们黑进迈克尔的手机 |
| [10:48] | download all his nudes, | 把他的裸照都存下来 |
| [10:50] | and then blackmail him. | 然后以此要挟他 |
| [10:51] | No. What are you t… no. | 不 你什么脑回路… 不 |
| [10:53] | Yo, you should listen to me. | 你该听我啊 |
| [10:55] | I came up with hundreds of plans in my life, | 哥这辈子想了上百个点子 |
| [10:56] | and only one of them got me killed. | 其中只有一个把我害死了 |
| [10:58] | Dude, be quiet. | 哥们儿 闭嘴吧 |
| [10:59] | You are not Jason. You are a monk named Jianyu. | 你不是杰森 你是佛僧 剑宇 |
| [11:03] | Got it? | 懂了吗 |
| [11:15] | Another great set, Jason. | 又是超燃的一曲 杰森 |
| [11:17] | They love you, dude. | 他们都爱死你了 兄弟 |
| [11:18] | They don’t love me, man. | 他们不爱我 |
| [11:20] | They love acidcat. | 他们爱的是「加酸猫」 |
| [11:22] | These cheers are fake. | 欢呼声都是假的 |
| [11:24] | They hit my ears like boxing gloves of sadness. | 如同可悲化作拳击 重重掌掴着耳膜 |
| [11:27] | That’s some poetic thoughts, B. | 太有文采了 兄弟 |
| [11:30] | I got to be myself. | 我要做我自己 |
| [11:37] | Attention, Jacksonville. | 听好了 杰克逊维尔市 |
| [11:39] | I’m not acidcat. | 我不是「加酸猫」 |
| [11:42] | I’m Mr. Music, the DJ. | 我是「音乐先生」 你们的DJ |
| [11:44] | And this is a mr. Music, the DJ original. | 下面是「音乐先生」的原创 |
| [12:06] | Welcome to the opening of the good plates. | 欢迎来到「餐地」的开业仪式 |
| [12:10] | I just got that. | 我才明白这个梗 |
| [12:14] | That’s hilarious! | 太有才了 |
| [12:16] | Anyway, at some point or another, | 总之 多多少少吧 |
| [12:18] | every resident in this neighborhood | 这里的每一位居民 |
| [12:20] | will fulfill his or her soul’s true purpose. | 都会达成其灵魂的真正目标 |
| [12:23] | Chef Patricia has done that tonight | 帕特里夏大厨通过今晚餐厅开业 |
| [12:26] | by opening this restaurant. | 就实现了其目标 |
| [12:30] | Now if you’d all like to take a look at tonight’s menus… | 现在请大家看一下今晚的菜单 |
| [12:36] | That’s right. With Michael’s help, | 是的 在迈克尔的帮助下 |
| [12:38] | Chef Patricia has recreated | 帕特里夏大厨准备了 |
| [12:40] | each person’s favorite meal on earth. | 每个人生前最爱的食物 |
| [12:42] | Fun! | 棒 |
| [12:52] | It’s my grandmother’s maafe. | 我奶奶做的花生酱烩鱼 |
| [12:54] | Fresh perch, slow-roasted in a peanut sauce. | 新鲜鲈鱼 在浓郁的花生酱中慢慢烘烤 |
| [12:57] | Almost makes me forget how miserable I am right now. | 几乎就能让我忘却现在的糟心事了呢 |
| [13:01] | You want to try a bite? | 你想尝一口吗 |
| [13:02] | Fish and peanut butter? No, I’m good. Thanks. | 鱼配花生酱 还是不了 谢谢 |
| [13:06] | Tofu? Man. | 豆腐 不是吧 |
| [13:08] | I’m order some JalapeLo Poppers. | 我要点一炸墨西哥胡椒卷 |
| [13:09] | Be quiet and eat your white sponge. | 别说话 吃你的「白海绵」 |
| [13:16] | – Janet? – Hi, there. | -珍妮特 -你好 |
| [13:17] | Hi. I didn’t get a meal. | 我这啥也没有 |
| [13:19] | According to our files, | 根据我们的资料显示 |
| [13:20] | your favorite meal was the hunger strike you went on | 你最爱的食物是 绝食 |
| [13:23] | to protest Bolivian sex trafficking. | 来抗议玻利维亚的性贩卖 |
| [13:26] | Right. Of course I did that. | 对啊 我当然这么做过 |
| [13:29] | Tahani, great party. Check it out. | 塔哈妮 晚宴很棒 你看 |
| [13:33] | Suspenders! | 吊带裤 |
| [13:35] | So dumb. | 太二了 |
| [13:36] | So much dumber than belts. | 比腰带还二啊 |
| [13:39] | Congratulations, Michael. | 恭喜 迈克尔 |
| [13:41] | How’s Jianyu doing? Is he opening up? | 剑宇怎么样 开口了吗 |
| [13:44] | Not yet. | 还没 |
| [13:45] | But I can tell he wants to. | 但我看得出来他想说话 |
| [13:47] | Don’t worry. I’ve got a plan. | 别担心 我有个点子 |
| [13:49] | May I have your attention, please? | 请各位安静一下 |
| [13:51] | Later this evening, | 晚些时候 |
| [13:52] | we will be enjoying chef Patricia’s delicious dessert, | 我们将品尝到帕特里夏大厨的美味甜点 |
| [13:56] | a stunning three-tiered cake | 美妙绝伦的三层蛋糕 |
| [13:58] | that took her a full week to complete. | 花了整整一周才完成 |
| [14:00] | But first, I’d like to try something fun. | 但首先 我想玩个好玩的 |
| [14:03] | Each one of you has a very special memory | 每个人都对你们现在的食物 |
| [14:05] | attached to the meal you’re eating. | 有着特别的美好回忆 |
| [14:08] | Why don’t we go around the room and share our stories? | 不如我们轮流分享一下吧 |
| [14:11] | Who’d like to begin? | 谁先来 |
| [14:14] | I’ll start, Michael. | 我来吧 迈克尔 |
| [14:17] | One day, I wasn’t feeling so great, | 一天 我感觉不太好 |
| [14:19] | so I made myself a bowl of this chicken soup… | 然后自己做了一碗鸡汤… |
| [14:24] | When it gets to you, | 轮到你时 |
| [14:25] | say something short and boring about tofu. | 就简单说点关于豆腐的无聊故事 |
| [14:27] | No. I’m sick of pretending to be Jianyu, the tofu man. | 不 我厌倦了假装是「豆腐男」 剑宇 |
| [14:32] | I’m gonna tell the story about my real favorite meal. | 我要说我真正喜欢的菜 |
| [14:34] | Which is? | 是什么 |
| [14:35] | The buffalo wings at Stupid Nick’s Wing Dump in Gainesville. | 盖恩斯维尔市「傻尼克烤翅店」的辣翅 |
| [14:39] | Wings were free for ladies if they took their top off. | 如果有妹子半裸 还能免费 |
| [14:41] | Boy. | 妈妈咪呀 |
| [14:42] | Chidi, a word? | 奇迪 说句话 |
| [14:43] | Anyway, that’s how this simple soup | 总之这就是这碗鸡汤 |
| [14:46] | saved over 10,000 lives. | 拯救一万多条生命的故事 |
| [14:51] | If Jianyu starts talking | 如果剑宇开始说 |
| [14:52] | about topless buffalo wing restaurants, | 辣翅 半裸餐厅 |
| [14:54] | we’re all screwed. | 咱们就全完了 |
| [14:55] | Jianyu Li, | 李剑宇 |
| [14:56] | a Taiwanese monk who took a vow of silence | 守缄默法则的中国台湾佛僧 |
| [14:59] | at the age of eight and hasn’t spoken since, | 自八岁起 就没再开口说话 |
| [15:02] | is ready to share with us. | 准备跟我们分享他的故事了 |
| [15:08] | Let me tell you about Stupid Nick. | 让我来说说「傻尼克」吧 |
| [15:14] | We need a distraction right the fork now. | 他喵的得赶紧转移注意力啊 |
| [15:19] | No, no, no, no, no. Eleanor, | 不不不不要 埃莉诺 |
| [15:21] | chef Patricia poured her heart and soul into this. | 帕特里夏大厨倾尽心血才做出来的 |
| [15:24] | Destroying it would be a truly cruel act. | 如果毁掉 就太太太残忍了 |
| [15:26] | Yeah, no durr. | 这还用说 |
| [15:28] | No, no, no… | 不 不要 |
| [15:39] | Sinkhole! Everyone out! | 裂洞 大家快出去 |
| [15:41] | There’s a sinkhole! | 出现裂洞了啊 |
| [15:46] | Glenn! | 格伦 |
| [15:48] | You broke the world. | 你把「世界」给玩儿坏了 |
| [15:51] | That’s not a compliment. | 我可不是在夸你 |
| [15:54] | Glenn, stay calm. | 格伦 冷静 |
| [15:56] | We’re gonna get you out of there. | 我们会救你上来的 |
| [15:58] | And we’ll put your soup in the fridge so it won’t go to waste. | 你的汤我们会放到冰箱里 不会浪费 |
| [16:01] | I know that may not be | 这可能不是 |
| [16:03] | your number one concern right now, but… | 你现在最担心的事 但… |
| [16:05] | It was up there. It’s real good soup. | 汤还有 的确好喝 |
| [16:07] | Let’s go. | 走吧 |
| [16:10] | Hey, buddy. You okay? | 哥们儿 你没事吧 |
| [16:13] | No. I was just about to tell an awesome story | 有事 我刚要讲一个惊天地泣鬼神的故事 |
| [16:16] | about a wing eating contest that I lost | 是关于我输了的一场吃鸡翅比赛 |
| [16:18] | and a barfing contest that I won, | 和我赢了的一场呕吐大赛 |
| [16:20] | but then a hole opened up in the ground. | 结果地上突然出现了裂洞 |
| [16:22] | I know. I made the hole to save you from yourself. | 这我知道 那个洞是我为了救你搞出来的 |
| [16:26] | You cannot let people know who you really are. | 你不能让大家知道你真实的身份 |
| [16:29] | It would be very, very bad. | 那样后果不堪设想 |
| [16:34] | Beautiful, beautiful Jacksonville. | 美啊 杰克逊维尔太美了 |
| [16:39] | What’s wrong, dog? | 怎么了 杰兄 |
| [16:40] | You look like you’re freaking out. | 怎么一副吓尿的样子 |
| [16:42] | Things are bad, Pillboi. | 情况很糟糕 「药哥」 |
| [16:43] | Acidcat is suing me for “bleach of contract.” | 「加酸猫」要告我违约 |
| [16:47] | I should have never pretended to be someone else. | 我当初就不该装作是别人 |
| [16:49] | It could cost me all my dreams in life. | 差点毁了我的梦想啊 |
| [16:51] | You got dreams in life? That’s lit. | 你还是个追梦少年 奇闻啊 |
| [16:54] | Of course I have dreams, man. | 我当然有梦啊 兄弟 |
| [16:56] | I don’t want to be a DJ in Jacksonville forever. | 我可不想这辈子都困在杰克逊维尔当个小DJ |
| [16:59] | I want to DJ in Daytona, | 我想去代托纳 |
| [17:01] | Tallahassee, | 去塔拉哈西 |
| [17:03] | Tampa, even. | 甚至去到坦帕 |
| [17:05] | I want it all. | 到处跑 到处DJ |
| [17:06] | That’s big goals, man. | 你志存高远啊 哥们儿 |
| [17:08] | I know, but I believe in myself. | 我也知道 但我相信自己 |
| [17:11] | Someday, the world will see what I already know: | 总有一天 世人会像我一样看清 |
| [17:14] | That Jason Mendoza is a beautiful, unique soul | 杰森·门多萨有着美丽而独特的灵魂 |
| [17:19] | who has so much to give this world. | 并将为这世界做出巨大的贡献 |
| [17:24] | Okay, that’s acidcat’s speedboat. | 看 那就是「加酸猫」的快艇 |
| [17:25] | Hand me the thing that blows it up. | 家伙给我 我要炸了它 |
| [17:37] | Michael, I hereby tender my resignation. | 迈克尔 我是来递交辞呈的 |
| [17:39] | I can no longer in good conscience | 我再也不能问心无愧地 |
| [17:41] | coordinate any further events in the good place. | 在善地主持任何活动了 |
| [17:43] | So, I am turning in my evening gloves. | 这是我的晚会用手套 给你 |
| [17:46] | Tahani… | 塔哈妮 |
| [17:46] | Don’t try to make me feel better. | 别试图安慰我 |
| [17:48] | The launch was a disaster. | 开业典礼简直是灾难 |
| [17:50] | Poor Jianyu was so terrified | 可怜的剑宇被吓坏了 |
| [17:52] | that I fear he may never speak again. | 我担心他再也开不了口了 |
| [17:54] | My hair is barely cascading down my shoulders. | 而且我的头发都蓬起来了 |
| [17:56] | Tahani, please. | 塔哈妮 请坐 |
| [17:58] | I know your journey with Jianyu has been frustrating, | 我知道你和剑宇磨合得还不够好 |
| [18:02] | but your situation is actually very typical. | 但其实这种情况很常见 |
| [18:06] | Soul mates sometimes take months to really click. | 灵魂伴侣有时要花上好几个月才能培养出默契 |
| [18:09] | You have to be patient. | 你得耐心点 |
| [18:11] | And if anyone should take the blame | 餐厅的这次事故 |
| [18:13] | for the restaurant disaster, it’s me. | 要怪也是怪我 |
| [18:15] | I thought this neighborhood’s troubles were behind us. | 我之前以为麻烦都过去了 |
| [18:18] | Now I fear the worst. | 我如今担心会更糟 |
| [18:21] | Michael, | 迈克尔 |
| [18:22] | I hereby rescind the tendering of my resignation. | 现在我要撤回我的辞呈 |
| [18:25] | We must keep the neighborhood together. | 我们必须让所有人团结起来 |
| [18:27] | What can I do? | 我能做点什么 |
| [18:28] | Well, the sinkhole should be repairing itself in about three days. | 裂洞应该三天内就能自行修复好 |
| [18:32] | Well, as soon as it does, | 那么 等修复完 |
| [18:33] | we shall re-launch the restaurant. | 我们就让餐厅重新开张 |
| [18:34] | I’ll hang posters to get the word out, | 我去贴海报 广而告之 |
| [18:36] | and in the meantime, I’ll host a brunch party every morning | 同时 我会每天早上办一场早午餐派对 |
| [18:39] | to lift people’s spirits. | 来鼓舞人心 |
| [18:41] | While you repair the universe, | 你修天补地 |
| [18:43] | I shall prepare the eggs. | 我料理走起 |
| [18:46] | Fanciful wordplay. | 这个双关语厉害啊 |
| [18:47] | Indeed. That is the Tahani that you know and love. | 可不是嘛 人见人爱的塔哈妮又回来了 |
| [18:53] | – So what do we do here? – There’s nothing to do. | -我们怎么办 -没办法 |
| [18:56] | He’s just gonna blab | 他肯定会说漏嘴 |
| [18:57] | and get him and me both sent to the bad place. | 然后带上我相约恶地走一趟 |
| [19:00] | It’s hopeless. | 没希望了 |
| [19:05] | I can’t believe I’m doing this, but, Jason, | 想不到我竟会这么说 听着 杰森 |
| [19:08] | please come to my classroom. | 请你来上我的课 |
| [19:11] | I will teach you ethics, like I’m doing with Eleanor. | 我会像教埃莉诺一样教你伦理学 |
| [19:15] | And if you work hard and absorb the material, | 如果你好好学习 并且掌握精髓 |
| [19:18] | you just might be able to earn your place here. | 你或许就能在这儿待下去了 |
| [19:24] | No, I’m good. | 别 还是算了 |
| [19:27] | Dude, Chidi is giving you a lifeline right now, | 哥们儿 奇迪可是在拯救你 |
| [19:29] | and you need to take it because you suck. | 你需要抓住这一线生机 因为你这人烂透了 |
| [19:32] | – You suck! – I know! | -你才烂呢 -这我知道 |
| [19:35] | That’s what I’m trying to tell you. | 我就是想告诉你这一点 |
| [19:36] | We both suck. | 我们两都烂透了 |
| [19:38] | You know who doesn’t suck? Chidi. | 你知道谁不烂吗 是奇迪 |
| [19:40] | He is putting himself in danger to help us, | 他可是冒着危险在帮助我们 |
| [19:42] | because he, unlike us, is an amazing person. | 他可不像我们 他是个好人 |
| [19:46] | I didn’t get into heaven to go to school. | 我升上天堂可不是来学习的 |
| [19:49] | You didn’t get into heaven at all, shirt-for-brains. | 你是误入天堂 不是升上 没有脑回路 |
| [19:52] | I just want to be myself. | 我就想做自己 |
| [19:53] | That’s a very, very bad idea. | 千万别这么做 |
| [19:55] | Do not be yourself. | 不要做你自己 |
| [19:57] | You need to be a better version of yourself, okay? | 你需要做一个更好的自己 懂吗 |
| [20:00] | And I do too. | 我也是 |
| [20:01] | And our only hope right now is this kind, selfless, amazing nerd. | 现在只有奇迪这个善良无私的书呆子能救我们 |
| [20:05] | Think about that. | 你好好想想吧 |
| [20:06] | Do you have to call me a nerd so much? | 你非得叫我书呆子吗 |
| [20:08] | I said a lot of other nice things, okay? | 我也有狠狠夸你了 好吗 |
| [20:10] | Toughen up, nerd. | 硬气点 呆子 |
| [20:15] | Let’s get crackin’, teach. | 开始吧 老师 |
| [20:17] | I read this entire David Hume book, | 大卫·休谟的这整本书我都看完了 |
| [20:18] | and then I read it again | 然后我又看了一遍 |
| [20:19] | because I didn’t understand it the first time, | 因为我第一遍没看懂 |
| [20:21] | and now I’m ready to go. | 现在我已经准备好了 |
| [20:23] | That’s really impressive. | 不可思议啊 |
| [20:25] | Where’s Jianyu? | 剑宇人呢 |
| [20:26] | Honestly, I don’t even know if he’s coming. | 老实说 我都不知道他来不来 |
| [20:30] | I am here to learn about ethnics. | 我是来学「人种学」的 |
| [20:35] | That’s great, man. | 很好 哥们儿 |
| [20:36] | I mean, it’s “Ethics,” | 但其实是「伦理学」 |
| [20:37] | but that’s great. | 但你能来真的很好 |
| [20:39] | Pretty sure it’s “Ethnics.” | 我非常肯定就是「人种学」 |
| [20:41] | Hey, buddy, I’m proud of you. | 哥们儿 我为你感到骄傲 |
| [20:43] | This is your first step towards not sucking. | 这是你朝好人迈出的第一步 |
| [20:46] | Cool. I just have two questions: | 嗯 但是我有两个问题 |
| [20:49] | When are football tryouts? | 足球选拔赛什么时候 |
| [20:50] | And does this school have a prom? | 然后我们会办舞会吗 |
| [20:54] | No. | 不存在的 |
| [20:55] | Wow. | 我天 |
| [20:57] | For the first time ever, I’m the smartest kid in class. | 这还是我第一次当上「别人家的孩子」 |