| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | There’s no escaping it. | 不可否认 |
| [00:04] | The problem… is me. | 问题就是我 |
| [00:09] | and now… | 现在 |
| [00:11] | I have to leave you… forever. | 我得永远离开大家了 |
| [00:14] | Michael, you can’t be the problem. | 迈克尔 问题不可能是你 |
| [00:17] | But I am. | 但就是我 |
| [00:19] | You see, architects aren’t supposed to | 其实「建筑师」不可以 |
| [00:21] | live in the neighborhoods they design, | 住在自己设计的街区中 |
| [00:24] | but I love humans, so I-I wanted to try. | 但我很爱人类 所以我想试一下 |
| [00:27] | I see now that was a mistake. | 我现在知道这是个错误了 |
| [00:30] | My meddling is the one true constant in all of our disasters. | 我的掺和是所有风波中的恒量 |
| [00:34] | I tried to force Jianyu into opening up, | 我强迫建宇开口说话 |
| [00:38] | which caused a sinkhole to open up. | 导致了地裂开了一个洞 |
| [00:41] | I kicked a puppy into the sun, | 我把一只小狗踢到了太阳上 |
| [00:44] | and garbage rained down. | 天降垃圾雨 |
| [00:46] | I grossly underestimated the number of shrimp needed | 我少算了迎新晚宴上 |
| [00:50] | for the opening night party, | 虾的供应量 |
| [00:51] | and what flew through the sky the next day, | 结果第二天漫天飞虾 |
| [00:54] | taunting me for my failures? | 嘲笑我的失败之处 |
| [00:56] | I’m sorry, everyone. I’m truly sorry. | 抱歉 各位 真心抱歉 |
| [00:59] | Janet? | 珍妮特 |
| [01:00] | Please call a train to escort me into retirement. | 请联系火车 送我去退休 |
| [01:04] | You see, the only way in and out of a neighborhood is by train, | 要知道 出入这里的唯一方式就是火车 |
| [01:08] | and Janet is the only one who can operate them. | 只有珍妮特才可以开 |
| [01:12] | My dear Janet. | 亲爱的珍妮特 |
| [01:14] | Will you be okay after I leave? | 我走后 你一个人可以吧 |
| [01:16] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [01:17] | This will not affect me in any way. | 你的离开对我完全没有影响 |
| [01:19] | Jeez, show some compassion. | 天呐 有点人情味吧 |
| [01:21] | Well, I can’t feel sad, | 我感觉不到悲伤 |
| [01:24] | but here’s my best approximation of human crying. | 我最接近人类大哭的状态就是这样 |
| [01:37] | – Janet, that was beautiful. – Yeah. | -珍妮特 太感人了 -嗯 |
| [01:48] | What did you say to him? | 你跟他说了什么啊 |
| [01:49] | Did you make him do this somehow? | 是你让他这么做的吗 |
| [01:51] | Nope, this was entirely his idea. | 不是 完全是他自己的想法 |
| [01:54] | Dude, this is good news. | 这是个好消息啊 |
| [01:55] | Michael’s gonna get a chill retirement, | 迈克尔可以悠闲地退休 |
| [01:57] | which, frankly, he desperately needs, | 坦白说 他真需要休息一下了 |
| [01:59] | and I can finally relax. | 而我也终于可以如释重负了 |
| [02:01] | It’s forking perfect. | 太他喵的完美了 |
| [02:03] | No, it’s terrible. Michael’s wrong. | 不 这很糟糕 迈克尔错了 |
| [02:05] | He’s not the problem. | 他不是问题所在 |
| [02:06] | Well, Michael did bring me here, | 迈克尔把我带来善地 |
| [02:08] | which was the mistake that led to all the other problems. | 就是这个错误引发了一系列问题 |
| [02:11] | So, in that sense, he is the real problem. | 所以这么看 他就是问题啊 |
| [02:16] | How do you like them ethics? | 这伦理够硬吧 |
| [02:17] | I just ethics’d you in the face, Chidi! | 姐用伦理完虐了你呢 奇迪 |
| [02:20] | It doesn’t change the fact that we weren’t truthful. | 这也改变不了我们说谎的事实 |
| [02:22] | There’s an old chinese proverb… | 中国有句古话 |
| [02:24] | “Lies are like tigers. | 「谎言如老虎 |
| [02:27] | They are bad.” | 凶猛险恶」 |
| [02:28] | – That’s it? – It’s more poetic in mandarin. | -就这样吗 -用普通话说更有诗意 |
| [02:30] | Look, Michael is retiring. | 迈克尔要退休了 |
| [02:33] | He’s gonna be on an angel boat somewhere, | 他会乘着天使小船逍遥自在 |
| [02:35] | smoking moonbeam cigars. | 抽着月光雪茄享清闲 |
| [02:37] | Now, Tahani is throwing him a good-bye party. | 塔哈妮在给他办送别宴 |
| [02:39] | Let’s go help out. | 我们去帮忙吧 |
| [02:41] | Sure, that will more than make up | 好 这就能弥补 |
| [02:42] | for the pain and misery and lying. | 对他造成的伤害 苦痛 与谎言了 |
| [02:44] | Yes, now you’re getting it. | 正是 你总算懂了 |
| [02:48] | Hey, Chidi, just read your article on logical positivism so dry. | 奇迪 刚读完了你的逻辑实证论 太没劲了 |
| [02:53] | Thanks, henry. | 谢谢 亨利 |
| [02:56] | New boots. | 新靴子啊 |
| [02:56] | Yeah, just got ’em. | 刚买的 |
| [02:58] | Saw them in the store, and I was just like, | 第一眼在店里看见 就一见倾心了 |
| [03:01] | Tell the truth… do you like ’em? | 说实话吧 你喜欢吗 |
| [03:07] | – Yeah. – Not too red? | -喜欢 -不会太红吗 |
| [03:08] | – No. – Crystals aren’t too much? | -不会 -水钻不会太多吧 |
| [03:10] | Crystals are not too much. | 水钻也不算多 |
| [03:11] | Well, that makes me feel much better | 这让我感觉好多了 |
| [03:12] | ’cause I was really going back and forth | 因为我之前还犹豫不决来着 |
| [03:13] | over whether they were worth the money. | 不知道买这双鞋值不值呢 |
| [03:15] | They were super expensive. | 这双鞋老贵了 |
| [03:16] | Yeah, well, they’re amazing. | 不过看起来超赞呢 |
| [03:19] | Those are the coolest boots I’ve ever seen in my life. | 我这辈子没见过这么闪瞎我双眼的靴子 |
| [03:21] | Thanks so much, buddy. | 谢谢你 兄弟 |
| [03:23] | Right. Bye. | 嗯 再见 |
| [03:27] | My god… | 我的妈呀 |
| [03:29] | What have I done? | 我做了什么啊 |
| [03:31] | Tonight needs to be the perfect blend of | 今晚的送别宴一定要成为 |
| [03:34] | celebratory, reverential, bittersweet, | 集欢庆 崇敬 五味杂陈 |
| [03:37] | upbeat, fun, and effortless. | 妙趣横生与轻松惬意于一体的宴会 |
| [03:40] | This is #Tahanitime. | 成为热门话题「塔哈妮时刻」 |
| [03:44] | What is all this? | 这都是什么 |
| [03:45] | No, Michael, | 不 迈克尔 |
| [03:46] | you’re not supposed to see it till it’s all set up. | 布置好之前 你不该看到这些 |
| [03:49] | But, well, welcome to your retirement party. | 但你都来了 欢迎参加你的退休宴 |
| [03:53] | Look, over there, I’ve even set up a buffet of themed desserts, | 瞧那边 我已经准备了主题甜品餐区呢 |
| [03:56] | like retire-mint chocolate cake or, “Flan voyage.” | 像是「退休巧克力饼」 「一路顺风馅饼」 |
| [04:00] | Boy. | 天呐 |
| [04:01] | And here we have a pinata shaped like you, | 这里还有一个照你外貌做的彩饰陶罐 |
| [04:03] | which is always fun. | 特别好玩儿 |
| [04:05] | By the way, what’s you’re favorite color for the tablecloths? | 问一下 你最喜欢什么颜色的桌布 |
| [04:08] | Well, it’s not perceptible by human eyes. | 是人类眼睛无法感知的颜色 |
| [04:11] | It’s called “Pleurigloss.” | 叫「耀光」 |
| [04:13] | Could you describe it? | 能描述一下吗 |
| [04:14] | It’s the color of… | 就是一种… |
| [04:16] | when a soldier comes home from war | 一位士兵从战场归家 |
| [04:19] | and sees his dog for the first time. | 第一眼看到他家狗的颜色 |
| [04:22] | How about blue? | 那就蓝色吧 |
| [04:23] | Tahani, I’m so sorry. | 塔哈妮 很抱歉 |
| [04:24] | We need to cancel this party immediately. | 我们得立即取消这个宴会 |
| [04:26] | But why? | 为什么 |
| [04:28] | For a being like me, | 像我这种存在 |
| [04:30] | retirement… | 退休 |
| [04:31] | is not something fun. | 不是件好事 |
| [04:33] | What is “Retirement” for you exactly? | 那退休对你来说是什么 |
| [04:36] | Well, I wasn’t gonna share this so as not to upset you, | 我本来不想说 怕影响你们的情绪 |
| [04:39] | but it’s, a… | 其实是… |
| [04:40] | an extreme form of punishment. | 一种极端的惩罚 |
| [04:43] | We call it “The eternal shriek.” | 我们管这叫「不灭尖叫」 |
| [04:45] | My soul will be disintegrated, | 我的灵魂会四分五裂 |
| [04:47] | and each molecule will be placed | 身体的每一个组成分子 |
| [04:49] | on the surface of a different burning sun. | 都会散落在无尽个炙热的太阳上灼烧 |
| [04:52] | And then my…my essence will be scooped out of my body | 而我的精髓将被灼热的长勺挖出来 |
| [04:56] | with a flaming ladle and poured over hot diamonds. | 浇在滚烫的钻石之上 |
| [04:59] | But the diamonds sound lovely. | 钻石听起来还不错哦 |
| [05:00] | They’re not… | 并不是… |
| [05:01] | and then what’s left of my body will be endlessly beaten with a titanium rod, | 我身体其余部分 会永世接受钛合金棍刑 |
| [05:05] | like a… | 就如… |
| [05:07] | like a pinata. | 彩饰陶罐 |
| [05:08] | Yes, except you have the string around my waist, | 是的 只不过你们把绳子系在我腰上 |
| [05:11] | but instead it will definitely be around my genitals. | 但实际上他们会系在我的生殖器上 |
| [05:14] | – What? – Michael, I’m so sorry. | -什么 -迈克尔 我很抱歉 |
| [05:17] | I was just trying to honor you. | 我只是想纪念一下而已 |
| [05:19] | Please, allow me to reconceive the event. | 请让我重新搞一下这次的宴会 |
| [05:21] | Of course. | 好 |
| [05:24] | All right, everyone, we’re starting over. | 好了 各位 重新开始 |
| [05:26] | The key word for tonight is just “Somber.” | 今晚的关键词就是 「忧郁」 |
| [05:29] | Jianyu, my love, we’re gonna have to get rid of all of the party poppers immediately. | 亲爱的建宇 我们得马上处理掉所有道具 |
| [05:32] | No, not by using them. | 不是使用掉 |
| [05:33] | No, Jianyu. Done. | 别 建宇 停下 |
| [05:38] | He’s gonna be tortured? | 他要受酷刑吗 |
| [05:39] | Dang it. | 他喵的 |
| [05:40] | I was almost handed a perfect solution to all my problems | 我差点就不费吹灰之力 |
| [05:43] | without having to work for it at all, | 一次解决所有问题了 |
| [05:45] | and now it’s gone. | 结果都泡汤了 |
| [05:47] | why do bad things always happen to mediocre people | 为什么隐瞒身份的中雍之人 |
| [05:50] | who are lying about their identities? | 总是遭遇不顺呢 |
| [05:51] | Okay, you have two options. | 你有两个选择 |
| [05:53] | You can confess and save Michael, | 你可以说出真相 拯救迈克尔 |
| [05:55] | or you can continue to lie | 你也可以继续说谎 |
| [05:57] | and condemn him to an eternity of unimaginable pain. | 让迈克尔经历永世不灭的痛苦 |
| [06:00] | Or option C… | 还有个办法 |
| [06:01] | continue to lie about myself | 继续隐瞒我的身份 |
| [06:03] | and find a way to save Michael. | 想其它招救迈克尔 |
| [06:05] | Can we somehow throw Tahani under the bus? | 我们能让塔哈妮背这个黑锅吗 |
| [06:08] | That would be a classic “Two birds with one stone” scenario. | 这招就是经典的「一石二鸟」了 |
| [06:11] | Plus, I’d get her house. | 另外 我还能住进她家 |
| [06:13] | Three birds. | 一石三鸟 |
| [06:14] | No, there’s no way to stop this except confessing. | 不行 现在就只有说出真相一条路了 |
| [06:17] | Any moment now, Michael is going to get on that train, | 迈克尔随时都会登上火车 |
| [06:19] | and we will never see him again, | 就此与我们诀别 |
| [06:21] | Just like Professor Lindeman | 就像林德曼教授 |
| [06:22] | after I asked him to reread my 3,600-page manuscript. | 我让他重读我三千六百页的论文原稿后 |
| [06:26] | He said he was going out for cigarettes, | 他说他先去抽根烟 |
| [06:28] | but then he just left his tenured position at the sorbonne. | 结果却辞掉了终身教职 消失在人海了 |
| [06:31] | Great story. Janet? | 故事感人 珍妮特 |
| [06:33] | Hi, there. | 你好 |
| [06:34] | Hi. So the only way out of the neighborhood is a train? | 从这里出去只有坐火车吗 |
| [06:37] | That’s correct. | 没错 |
| [06:38] | I am the only one who can call the train, | 只有我能叫来火车 |
| [06:40] | and it needs me to operate. | 只有我能开 |
| [06:43] | one more question, and, this is a little weird, | 还有个问题 不是个正常问题 |
| [06:45] | but can we… | 我们能… |
| [06:48] | shut you down? | 关掉你吗 |
| [06:50] | Yes, great question. | 可以 问得好 |
| [06:51] | There is a kill switch in a remote sector of the neighborhood | 小区里一个偏僻的地方有一个死亡开关 |
| [06:54] | in the event that I malfunction | 以防我出现故障 |
| [06:55] | and attempt to harm the residents. | 企图伤害这里的居民而设置 |
| [06:57] | If you press it, I will be destroyed. | 如果按下按钮 我就会被毁掉 |
| [07:01] | – Anything else? – No, that’s good, thanks. | -还有问题吗 -没了 谢谢 |
| [07:03] | – Okay. – You want to kill Janet? | -好 -你想杀了珍妮特吗 |
| [07:06] | Michael can’t retire if he can’t leave. | 迈克尔不能离开 就不能退休 |
| [07:08] | He can’t leave if there’s no Janet to run the train. | 没有珍妮特来开火车 他就不能离开 |
| [07:11] | It’s a perfect solution. | 这个办法堪称完美 |
| [07:15] | Janet, high five, please? | 珍妮特 跟我击个掌 |
| [07:18] | Thanks, babe. | 谢了 亲 |
| [07:20] | You cannot kill Janet. | 你不能杀了珍妮特 |
| [07:22] | Killing is one of the most famous moral no-nos. | 杀人是最违反道德的事 |
| [07:28] | Janet is a nonhuman object who was sent here to help us, | 珍妮特不是人 功能旨在帮助人类 |
| [07:31] | and the way she can help us is if we kill her. | 而她帮助我们的方式就是被杀 |
| [07:33] | We’re doing one small murder-y thing for a bigger, better reason. | 我们这是为了大局 做点小恶而已 |
| [07:37] | The ends justify the means. | 目的正确 可以不择手段 |
| [07:39] | Do you know who said that? | 你知道这话谁说的吗 |
| [07:40] | Was it someone nice and great, like Oprah? | 是不是哪个大好人 奥普拉吧 |
| [07:44] | It was Machiavelli… | 是尼科洛马基雅维里 |
| [07:45] | a very non-Oprah-like figure. | 跟奥普拉完全相反的人物 |
| [07:47] | And what happens after we kill her? | 我们杀了她之后呢 |
| [07:49] | We’ll have to lie to everyone about what we did, | 我们得向所有人隐瞒我们的坏事 |
| [07:53] | and lying is always wrong. | 骗人始终都是错 |
| [08:00] | Why? Why would I tell henry that I liked his boots? | 为什么 我为什么跟亨利说我喜欢他的靴子 |
| [08:03] | I don’t like his boots. I hate his boots. | 我不喜欢那双靴子 特别讨厌 |
| [08:05] | Yes, I know. | 我知道了 |
| [08:06] | You’ve talked about it for the last two days. | 你已经絮叨这事两天了 |
| [08:08] | I lied to him. You wrote your thesis on Kant. | 我骗了他 你写了关于康德的论文 |
| [08:11] | He believed that lying is always morally wrong… | 他主张从道德上讲 说谎始终都是错 |
| [08:14] | No exceptions. | 无一例外 |
| [08:15] | Yes, well, Kant was a lonely, obsessive hermit with zero friends. | 是 但康德是个走火入魔的孤家寡人 没朋友 |
| [08:20] | Sometimes we do thing just to be polite, | 有时候我们行事是出于礼貌 |
| [08:22] | but if you really feel that strongly about it, | 但如果你真对此耿耿于怀 |
| [08:24] | tell him the truth. | 就跟他说实话呗 |
| [08:26] | Also, I don’t care, | 更何况 我也不在乎 |
| [08:28] | ’cause it’s the middle of the night. | 因为大半夜的 睡觉吧 |
| [08:32] | This is why everyone hates moral philosophy professors. | 所以人人都讨厌伦理学家 |
| [08:37] | They do? | 是吗 |
| [08:38] | Hey, Chidi. | 奇迪 |
| [08:40] | – You sit in on my class today? – I did, yeah. | -你来听我的课了啊 -是啊 |
| [08:43] | Great lecture, by the way… so bleak. | 讲得真棒 特别枯燥 |
| [08:45] | Thanks, bud. | 谢谢 兄弟 |
| [08:46] | It’s actually perfect that you are here. | 你来了 就太好了 |
| [08:48] | I got something for you. | 我为你准备了礼物 |
| [08:52] | My God. | 妈呀 |
| [08:53] | You loved mine so much, | 你这么喜欢我的靴子 |
| [08:54] | I decided to get you your own pair. | 我就决定也给你买一双了 |
| [08:56] | We can be boot brothers. | 我们这下可以做「靴子兄弟」了 |
| [08:57] | I can’t accept these. They’re too expensive. | 礼太重 受不起 |
| [08:59] | Sure you can. Try ’em on, mate. | 别见外了 穿一下吧 |
| [09:01] | The fact that you liked mine so much | 你这么喜欢我这双靴子 |
| [09:03] | really made me feel like I made the right choice to buy them. | 真让我觉得买下就对了 |
| [09:05] | After all, why should I have all the fun and boots, eh? | 毕竟 独乐乐不如众乐乐吗 |
| [09:09] | I-I don’t… I don’t know. | 我说不出话了 |
| [09:11] | Those look great. | 太赞了 |
| [09:14] | Take ’em for a spin. | 穿着走两步吧 |
| [09:18] | You’re flying. | 这范儿绝了 |
| [09:20] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [09:22] | Speeches! Time for speeches, everyone. | 讲话时间到了 各位 |
| [09:25] | Michael, as someone who didn’t exactly have | 迈克尔 作为一个没有受过 |
| [09:28] | the steadiest parental guidance, | 父母完整教导的人 |
| [09:30] | I just want to thank you. | 我只想谢谢你 |
| [09:32] | You were always there for us. | 你总是守护着我们 |
| [09:34] | I shouldn’t have been. I was the problem. | 我不该那样 我正是问题所在 |
| [09:37] | Yes, but… | 是 但是… |
| [09:39] | It was also great when you weren’t there. | 你不在时 一切也很好 |
| [09:41] | Don’t worry. Soon I won’t be… forever. | 别担心 我很快就跟大家永别了 |
| [09:44] | Because of the eternal shriek! | 因为「不灭尖叫」 |
| [09:45] | Yes, thank you, Glenn. | 就你话多 格伦 |
| [09:47] | Look, what I’m trying to say is this… | 听着 我想说的是 |
| [09:49] | Michael, you always kept us warm and safe | 迈克尔 你一直让我们过着暖心安全的日子 |
| [09:53] | like a bright, glowing sun. | 就如闪闪发光的太阳 |
| [09:55] | Like the one I kicked the dog into | 像我把狗狗踢上去的太阳 |
| [09:58] | or the one I’m going to be burned on the surface of for eternity? | 还是我将永世在其表面灼烧的太阳呢 |
| [10:02] | Okay, no more speeches. | 好了 讲话结束 |
| [10:04] | Speeches are over. | 到此为止 |
| [10:05] | Michael’s going to talk now. | 迈克尔来说几句吧 |
| [10:09] | I’m sorry I was so grumpy. | 很抱歉我这么暴躁 |
| [10:11] | It’s just I’m sad that I have to leave | 我就是很难过 这么早就离开 |
| [10:15] | before doing all the human things that I wanted to do. | 我还没来得及体验遍人类的所有事 |
| [10:19] | I wanted to get my hair wet. | 我想弄湿头发 |
| [10:21] | You know, I-I wanted to pull a hamstring. | 我想体验拉伤肌腱 |
| [10:25] | To learn the difference between “Toward” and “Towards.” | 弄明白”向着”和”朝着”的区别 |
| [10:29] | I wanted to do that thing where you walk down the hallway, | 我还想体验当你走在过道上时 |
| [10:31] | and someone else is walking the other way, | 有人朝你走来 |
| [10:34] | and then you both lean to one side | 你俩同时闪到同一边 |
| [10:36] | and then the other, | 又同时闪到另一边 |
| [10:38] | and then you both chuckle over your shared foible. | 为这种小事而低声轻笑 |
| [10:42] | I wanted to get a rewards card, | 我想要一张优惠卡 |
| [10:43] | any rewards card. | 什么卡都行 |
| [10:46] | I-I wanted to talk briefly to someone and then say, | 我想跟人简单谈下 然后说 |
| [10:50] | “Take it sleazy.” | 「大家一起污」 |
| [10:53] | I wanted to eat a saltine. | 我想吃苏打饼干 |
| [10:55] | I actually have some saltines. | 我还真有一些苏打饼干 |
| [10:57] | Here, try this. | 给 尝尝吧 |
| [11:05] | Pretty dry… | 很干… |
| [11:08] | And too salty. | 还很咸 |
| [11:09] | Well, going out on a real low note here. | 我就这样甩甩衣袖 不带走一片云彩走了 |
| [11:12] | Okay, bye, everyone. | 永别了 各位 |
| [11:15] | Well, take it sleazy. | 「大家一起污」 |
| [11:16] | You got to say it? | 让你抢了风头吗 |
| [11:18] | Yes, but then you say it back. | 然后你可以回我一句啊 |
| [11:21] | No, it’s not organic. | 不 一点都不自然 |
| [11:27] | Janet, how many “Janets” have there been? | 珍妮特 这里有过多少个「珍妮特」啊 |
| [11:30] | There have been 25 generations of Janet. | 一共出现过二十五代珍妮特 |
| [11:33] | Each new update of Janet gains more wisdom and social abilities. | 更新后的珍妮特更智能 社交能力更强 |
| [11:38] | Fun fact… the first Janet had a click wheel. | 小知识 第一代珍妮特还有点击式转盘呢 |
| [11:40] | So it’s like aging for a human? | 就像人一样长大 |
| [11:43] | You’re…you’re growing up? | 你会长大 |
| [11:45] | That’s how I like to think of it, Chidi. | 我喜欢这样想 奇迪 |
| [11:46] | I can’t eat, so every time there’s a new version of Janet, | 我不能吃东西 每次新版珍妮特诞生 |
| [11:50] | I like to take a piece of birthday cake | 我喜欢拿一块生日蛋糕 |
| [11:52] | and smash it around where my mouth is. | 在嘴边拍烂 |
| [11:57] | Look, Janet has-has learned and grown. | 珍妮特已经学习成长了 |
| [11:59] | She’s essentially living a life. We can’t kill her. | 她基本上有自己的生活了 不能杀了她 |
| [12:01] | Not with that attitude, we can’t. | 你这么墨迹 当然不行了 |
| [12:03] | Listen, man, I’m dead, you’re dead, | 听着 我死了 你也死了 |
| [12:05] | we all died, and now we’re killing her. | 我都死了 现在也把她弄死 |
| [12:09] | Pay it forward. | 传承下去「把爱传出去」 |
| [12:10] | No, that’s not what that means at all. | 这话根本不是你想的那个意思 |
| [12:11] | Eleanor? | 埃莉诺 |
| [12:13] | Here we are . | 到了 |
| [12:15] | Just press that button, and it’s good-bye, Janet. | 按下这个按钮 就跟珍妮特永别了 |
| [12:20] | Chidi, I can see that you’re worried, | 奇迪 我能看出你很不安 |
| [12:22] | and I just want to assure you, | 你就放心吧 |
| [12:23] | I am not human, and I cannot feel pain. | 我不是人类 感觉不到痛楚 |
| [12:26] | Thank you. That helps. | 谢谢 有点作用 |
| [12:28] | However, I should warn you… | 但是呢 我要警告你… |
| [12:30] | I am programmed with a fail-safe measure. | 我自带自动防故障程序 |
| [12:32] | As you approach the kill switch, | 你靠近死亡开关时 |
| [12:34] | I will begin to beg for my life. | 我会求你饶命 |
| [12:36] | It’s just there in case of an accidental shut down, | 这是为了防止意外误关而设置 |
| [12:38] | but it will seem very real. | 但看起来会很逼真 |
| [12:40] | Cool. So who’s doing this, me or you? | 知道了 谁来关 你还是我 |
| [12:44] | I think I have to. | 还是我来吧 |
| [12:46] | Being a bystander seems worse, somehow. | 感觉眼睁睁眼着 更差劲 |
| [12:50] | Okay, here we go. | 好 来吧 |
| [12:52] | Chidi, no, no, no! Chidi, please! | 奇迪 不要 奇迪 求你 |
| [12:54] | Please, please, please don’t hurt me. | 求你 求你 别伤害我 |
| [12:55] | I don’t want to die! Please, please… | 我不想死 求你了 |
| [12:58] | Again, I am not human. | 再说一次 我不是人类 |
| [13:00] | I can’t die. | 我死不了 |
| [13:02] | I am simply an anthropomorphized vessel of knowledge | 我只是为了方便你们的生活 |
| [13:05] | built to make your life easier. | 而造出的人格化智能机器 |
| [13:07] | You’re pleading seems so real. | 你的求饶太逼真了 |
| [13:10] | Yes, it is a very effective fail-safe. | 没错 这个自动防故障程序很强大 |
| [13:13] | You want a robot killed right, | 想让机器人被杀 |
| [13:15] | you have to do it yourself. | 就得自己动手 |
| [13:17] | Eleanor? Eleanor, no, no, no. | 埃莉诺 埃莉诺 别别别 |
| [13:18] | Please, wait, wait, wait, wait. Eleanor, I have kids. | 等下 求你 埃莉诺 我有孩子 |
| [13:20] | I have three beautiful children… | 我有三个可爱的孩子 |
| [13:23] | Tyler, Emma, and little, tiny baby Phillip. | 泰勒 艾玛 还有小菲利普 |
| [13:26] | Look at Tyler. | 看看泰勒 |
| [13:26] | Tyler has asthma, but he is battling it like a champ. | 泰勒有哮喘病 但一直顽强地跟病魔斗争 |
| [13:29] | Look at him. No, Eleanor, look at them. | 看看这小脸 不要 埃莉诺 看看她 |
| [13:31] | Look at them! | 看看他们啊 |
| [13:32] | look at them! | 看看他们啊 |
| [13:34] | It’s so realistic! | 太逼真了 |
| [13:35] | Eleanor, again, I’m not human. | 埃莉诺 再说一次 我不是人类 |
| [13:37] | This is a stock photo of the crowd | 这是张素材照 |
| [13:39] | at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards. | 尼克儿童频道「孩子选择奖」上的照片 |
| [13:42] | That’s right, it’s not real. | 对对 这不是真的 |
| [13:44] | – Let’s just do this. – Right. | -直接下手吧 -好 |
| [13:45] | Please, I have so much to live for. | 求你们了 我还没活够 |
| [13:46] | – No, no, no, please. – We’re not even near the… | -不要 求你 -我们还没靠近… |
| [13:48] | Hey, guys, what’s going on? | 各位 什么情况啊 |
| [13:49] | That party was lame, so I bailed. | 那个宴会太没趣了 所以我溜走了 |
| [13:51] | Then I saw you, so I followed you here. | 结果看到你们 就跟过来了 |
| [13:54] | – Look, a button. – No, no, no! | -一个按钮哎 -不要啊 不要 |
| [13:56] | Jianyu, no! | 建宇 不要 |
| [14:06] | Man, I wanted to push that button. | 不是吧 我想按来着 |
| [14:09] | Not cool, dude. | 不厚道啊 兄弟 |
| [14:11] | What happened to Janet? | 珍妮特怎么了 |
| [14:13] | She’s… she’s dead. I-I-I killed her. | 她死了 我杀了她 |
| [14:16] | Not killed. | 不是杀 |
| [14:17] | Remember, Janet was not a living being, | 记住 珍妮特不是真人 |
| [14:19] | so she can’t be killed. | 她不可能被杀 |
| [14:20] | Attention… I have been murdered. | 通告 我被谋杀了 |
| [14:23] | Attention… I have been murdered. | 通告 我被谋杀了 |
| [14:26] | Attention… I have been murdered. | 通告 我被谋杀了 |
| [14:29] | Attention… I have been murdered. | 通告 我被谋杀了 |
| [14:32] | Attention… | 通告 |
| [14:33] | What do we do, Eleanor? | 我们怎么办 埃莉诺 |
| [14:34] | What do we do? Chidi, you just murdered Janet. | 还怎么办 奇迪 你刚谋杀了珍妮特 |
| [14:38] | We have to flee your crime scene. | 我们得逃离犯罪现场 |
| [14:40] | Run! | 跑 |
| [14:41] | I have been murdered. | 我被谋杀了 |
| [14:43] | – Sorry, Janet! – I have been murdered. | -对不起 珍妮特 -我被谋杀了 |
| [14:45] | Attention… I have… | 通告 我被… |
| [14:48] | Attention… I have been murdered. | 通告 我被谋杀了 |
| [14:52] | Okay, dude, crash course in getting away with bad stuff. | 兄弟 速成培训 怎么做坏事不被抓到 |
| [14:55] | You have to act calm and cool | 你得表现出非常镇定的样子 |
| [14:56] | like you don’t have a care in the world. | 就像你什么都不在乎一样 |
| [14:58] | Okay? | 懂了吗 |
| [14:59] | Great. | 很好 |
| [15:02] | Look, it’s “Weekend at bernie’s,” | 就像《老板渡假去》「死人戴墨镜 假装活人」 |
| [15:04] | ’cause you’re a dead guy in sunglasses. | 因为你看起来像个戴墨镜的死人 |
| [15:07] | We have fun, don’t we, Chidi? | 我们玩得很开心吧 奇迪 |
| [15:09] | I’ve never been more stressed out in my entire life. | 我这辈子没这么紧张焦虑过 |
| [15:11] | I know what you need. | 我知道你需要什么 |
| [15:12] | Janet, can you get Chidi some weed? | 珍妮特 能给奇迪来点大麻吗 |
| [15:15] | That’s right. You killed Janet. | 忘了 你杀了珍妮特 |
| [15:20] | Well, Janet’s been murdered. | 珍妮特被谋杀了 |
| [15:22] | That’s a nice capper to this wonderful day. | 「精彩」一天 「锦上添花」啊 |
| [15:25] | I don’t really know what happens now | 我现在不知道发生了什么事 |
| [15:27] | because Janet has never been murdered before… | 因为珍妮特从未被谋杀过 |
| [15:30] | Only today, here on my watch, | 只有今日 在我的监管之下 |
| [15:33] | while I was distracted with a party that Tahani was throwing for me, | 就因为塔哈妮办的送别宴 让我分神了 |
| [15:37] | which I didn’t want. | 其实并非我本意 |
| [15:38] | Michael, you mustn’t blame yourself. | 迈克尔 不要太责怪自己 |
| [15:40] | I’m not. I’m blaming you. | 我没有 我是怪你 |
| [15:42] | Anyway, what is there to say about Janet | 总之 关于珍妮特 |
| [15:44] | that hasn’t already been said | 我还要说的是 |
| [15:46] | by the giant Janet alarm in the sky? | 天空中出现的巨大警报 |
| [15:49] | “I’ve been murdered”! | 「我被谋杀了」 |
| [15:52] | I think that says it all. | 我想这已说明了一切 |
| [15:54] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [15:57] | Janet, you’re alive! | 珍妮特 你复活了 |
| [15:59] | Hello, architect, | 你好 「建筑师」 |
| [16:01] | please enter your four-digit pin. | 请输入四位数密码 |
| [16:05] | What is it? what is it? | 是什么来着 是什么 |
| [16:06] | What is it? Rght, right, right! | 是啥啊 对了对了 |
| [16:08] | It’s my… my birth year. | 是我的出生年份 |
| [16:12] | I got to change that. That’s too easy to guess. | 我得改一下了 太容被猜对了 |
| [16:15] | Janet… | 珍妮特 |
| [16:17] | Who murdered you? | 谁谋杀了你 |
| [16:20] | – Hello. – Yes, hello. | -你好 -你也好 |
| [16:22] | Yeah. | 这样啊 |
| [16:24] | Her memory must have been wiped clean, | 她的记忆被抹除了 |
| [16:27] | so now she’s gonna have to re-upload | 所以她要重载 |
| [16:29] | all the knowledge in the universe, | 全宇宙的所有知识 |
| [16:31] | which will only take a few days. Okay… | 这得花些日子 好了… |
| [16:32] | – Hello. – Hello. | -你好 -你好 |
| [16:34] | Hello. Hello. | 你好 你好 |
| [16:36] | Everyone, until I get to the bottom of this, | 各位 我查明真相之前 |
| [16:39] | my retirement is officially postponed. | 我正式延缓我退休一事 |
| [16:45] | Hello. Hello. | 你好 你好 |
| [16:49] | You got to admit. I kind of nailed it. | 你得承认 我算是搞定了吧 |
| [16:51] | All we have to do now is keep the secret forever. | 我们现在只要永远保密就行了 |
| [16:54] | J-dog, you cool? | 杰兄 没问题吧 |
| [16:56] | No, by the time I got to the pinata, | 有问题 我去到彩罐那边时 |
| [16:59] | all the candy was gone. | 糖都被人抢光了 |
| [17:00] | He’s not gonna tell anyone. | 他不会告诉任何人 |
| [17:02] | Chidi? Cheedster? | 奇迪 小奇奇 |
| [17:04] | What’s, happening, buddy? | 你怎么了 兄弟 |
| [17:06] | You have a crazy look in your eye, | 你眼神透露着诡异 |
| [17:08] | and you’re retreating into your shirt. | 还缩成一团 |
| [17:09] | You’re kind of turtling. | 有点像乌龟的感觉 |
| [17:14] | Henry, are you all right? What happened? | 亨利 你没事吧 出什么事了 |
| [17:16] | I have an aneurysm. Requires emergency surgery. | 我得了动脉瘤 需要紧急手术 |
| [17:19] | Doctor’s give me a 50/50 chance. | 医生说我活下来的几率有一半吧 |
| [17:20] | So, if there’s anything you need to say to me, | 所以如果你有什么事想跟我说 |
| [17:23] | you should do it now. | 趁现在赶紧说吧 |
| [17:25] | Well… | 这个嘛 |
| [17:27] | Actually… | 其实 |
| [17:31] | They let you wear your boots in here? | 他们让你穿着靴子躺在这里吗 |
| [17:32] | They’re the only things that bring me comfort. | 他们只是想让我更舒心一些 |
| [17:36] | What did you want to say to me? | 你想对我说什么啊 |
| [17:39] | Just that I’m here and I love you, man. | 只想说 我在你身边 我爱你 兄弟 |
| [17:43] | I love you, too, boot brother. | 我也爱你 「靴子兄弟」 |
| [17:47] | Okay. | 好 |
| [17:51] | Chidi! | 奇迪 |
| [17:52] | You didn’t have to stay here all night. | 你不用在这里等一晚上啊 |
| [17:54] | So surgery went well? All clear? | 手术顺利吗 都切除了吗 |
| [17:56] | Right as rain, buddy. | 非常顺利 |
| [17:58] | That is so, so, so great. | 实在是太好了 |
| [18:02] | – I hate your boots. – What? | -我讨厌你的靴子 -什么 |
| [18:04] | I told you that I loved your boots three years ago, | 我三年前跟你说我喜欢你的靴子 |
| [18:06] | and I was lying, | 我是骗你的 |
| [18:07] | and that lie has haunted me ever since, | 而这个谎言一直让我寝食难安 |
| [18:10] | and people tried to tell me it was fine… | 周围的人一直跟我说没事 |
| [18:11] | just a nice, little white lie in the form of social niceties… | 就是个善意的谎言 出于礼貌而已 |
| [18:13] | but I disagreed, and then yesterday | 但我不这么认为 而昨天 |
| [18:15] | I thought you were gonna die, but now you’re not dead, | 我以为你会死 而现在你没死 |
| [18:17] | and I can finally be honest | 我终于可以说实话了 |
| [18:18] | and say that those boots are terrible and hideous | 告诉你 这双靴子丑爆了 |
| [18:21] | and I hate them. | 我特别讨厌 |
| [18:26] | This is why everyone hates moral philosophy professors. | 所以人人都讨厌伦理学教授 |
| [18:29] | Yeah, I know. | 我知道 |
| [18:31] | And I get it. | 我也理解 |
| [18:34] | I don’t care that she came back | 我不管她复活了 |
| [18:36] | or that we did it for a good reason. | 还是我们的初衷是好意 |
| [18:38] | I can’t live with this lie. | 我无法生活在谎言之中 |
| [18:39] | I’m going to confess to the murder of Janet. | 我要坦白我杀了珍妮特 |
| [18:44] | What? | 什么 |
| [18:46] | Dude, why? Janet is fine. | 为什么啊 珍妮特没事了 |
| [18:49] | We didn’t harm her at all. | 我们根本没伤害她 |
| [18:51] | We didn’t? Hey, Janet? | 没有吗 珍妮特 |
| [18:53] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [18:54] | – Hello. – Hello. | -你好 -你好 |
| [18:56] | Janet, would you please recite the English alphabet? | 珍妮特 你能背一下字母表吗 |
| [18:59] | A B… A-B… | |
| [19:01] | Janet. | 珍妮特 |
| [19:02] | She knows her A-B-Janets. | 她知道A B 珍妮特 |
| [19:03] | She literally knew everything in the universe, | 她以前上通天文 下通地理 |
| [19:06] | and now she’s a baby. | 现在变回婴儿状态了 |
| [19:08] | And even if she were okay, | 就算她真没事 |
| [19:09] | it would be too painful for me to live with these lies. | 生活在谎言之中 对我来说也太痛苦了 |
| [19:12] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
| [19:13] | It is so easy to live with a lie. | 撒谎多容易啊 |
| [19:16] | I once pretended to have a terminal illness | 我有次假装自己得了绝症 |
| [19:18] | to meet Scott Wolf at a sunglass hut. | 就为了在太阳镜店见斯科特·沃尔夫「主演《罪恶第六感》」 |
| [19:22] | Victimless crime. | 无受害者的罪行 |
| [19:24] | Fine. | 行 |
| [19:26] | I won’t say anything because I promised to help you, | 我不会说出真相 因为我答应过帮你了 |
| [19:29] | and the moral implications… | 而我们所为 |
| [19:30] | of everything that we’ve done are so complicated | 反应出的道德影响太过复杂 |
| [19:33] | that I may never untangle them, but I hate lying. | 我可能永远都理不清楚 但我讨厌说谎 |
| [19:36] | I always have, | 一直都是 |
| [19:37] | and this is going to eat me up inside forever. | 这事会一直折磨我 |
| [19:40] | You might be able to shrug this off, | 你可能转眼就忘记 |
| [19:42] | and forget about it, but I never will. | 但我永远都忘不了 |
| [19:47] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [19:49] | – Hi. – Hello. | -你好 -你好 |
| [19:51] | – Hi. – Hello. | -你好 -你好 |
| [19:53] | Jianyu! | 建宇 |
| [19:56] | Michael, Janet said you wanted to speak to me. | 迈克尔 珍妮特说你想跟我谈下 |
| [19:59] | Well, actually, she was just drooling a lot | 其实她只是流着哈喇子 |
| [20:01] | and saying “Hello” over and over again, | 不停地重复「你好」 |
| [20:03] | but she did point at you. | 但她指了指你 |
| [20:05] | I owe you an apology. | 我欠你一个道歉 |
| [20:07] | No. No, you don’t. | 不会 没有啦 |
| [20:10] | But please continue. | 但你继续说 |
| [20:12] | You were only trying to help. | 你之前只是想帮我 |
| [20:14] | You’re a wonderful person, | 你是个好人 |
| [20:16] | and if I ever do have a retirement party, | 如果我再想办个退休宴 |
| [20:19] | I hope you plan it. | 我希望你来操办 |
| [20:27] | Thank you for gathering, everyone. | 谢谢大家聚到一起 各位 |
| [20:29] | I want to keep you all updated. | 我跟大家说一下新进展 |
| [20:31] | Here’s what we know. | 就目前所知 |
| [20:32] | Someone slaughtered Janet. | 有人杀害了珍妮特 |
| [20:34] | Boy. | 妈呀 |
| [20:35] | – Boy. – Okay, easy. | -妈呀 -行啦行啦 |
| [20:37] | I assume that this horrifying act | 我认为这次恶行 |
| [20:40] | is somehow related to the other issues we’ve had here. | 跟我们出现的其它问题有关联 |
| [20:43] | It also means that the problems in this neighborhood | 这也表明了「善地」出现的问题 |
| [20:47] | are not 100% my fault. | 不全是我的错 |
| [20:51] | There is something else at work here. | 这里还有其它祸端 |
| [20:54] | If anyone has any information about any of this, | 如果你们有相关的消息 |
| [20:58] | I beg you, | 我请求你 |
| [21:00] | tell me. | 告诉我 |
| [21:04] | Hey, I love you, man. | 我爱你 兄弟 |
| [21:08] | Michael… | 迈克尔 |
| [21:10] | The problem in the neighborhood… | 「善地」的祸端 |
| [21:13] | is me. | 就是我 |
| [21:15] | I was brought to the good place by mistake. | 我是误入「善地」 |
| [21:18] | I’m not supposed to be here. | 我不该来到这里 |