| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | 欢迎 一切安好 | |
| [00:07] | Eleanor, come on in. | 埃莉诺 进来 |
| [00:11] | Well, not often you get to confront | 一般人很少有机会直面 |
| [00:13] | your greatest failure face-to-face. | 自己犯下的最大错误 |
| [00:15] | Good to see you, too, bud. | 我也问候一句 朋友 |
| [00:16] | I am just dumbfounded as to how this happened. | 我只是被这件事震惊了 |
| [00:19] | Our system has never made a mistake before… | 我们的系统以前从未出过错… |
| [00:22] | It’s just not possible. | 怎么可能出这种事 |
| [00:24] | And yet, here we are. | 然而还真发生了 |
| [00:26] | First things first, | 首先 |
| [00:29] | who are you? | 你是谁 |
| [00:30] | Well, my name is Eleanor Shellstrop, | 我确实叫埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普 |
| [00:32] | and some of the info you had was right. | 你掌握的部分信息很正确 |
| [00:34] | I mean, “Flattened by boner pill truck | 「在商店停车场 掉了瓶玛格丽特酒 |
| [00:37] | after dropping margarita mix in grocery store parking lot,” | 接着被运送『伟哥』的货车撞死」 |
| [00:40] | that’s a very me way to die. | 一听就像是我的死法 |
| [00:42] | But all the other info was wrong. | 但其它信息都不对 |
| [00:45] | In my defense, when I first arrived, and you said, | 容我辩驳一句 我第一天来时 是你说 |
| [00:48] | “You, Eleanor Shellstrop, are dead, | 「埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普 你死了 |
| [00:49] | and you’re in the Good Place,” | 你现在进入了『善地』」 |
| [00:50] | I had no reason to think that was a mistake. | 我没有理由怀疑这是个错误 |
| [00:53] | Location and date of birth, please. | 请说下出生地点和出生日期 |
| [00:56] | Phoenix, Arizona, October 14, 1986. | 亚利桑那州凤凰城 1986年10月14日 |
| [00:59] | So sorry, that’s what I used to tell people | 不好意思 我常谎报年龄时 |
| [01:01] | when I lied about my age. | 这么跟人说 |
| [01:03] | I was born in 1982. | 我真正出生于1982年 |
| [01:06] | You lied so much, you forgot your own birthday. | 骗人骗太多了 都不记得自己生日了 |
| [01:10] | Not a great start, | 开局就不利啊 |
| [01:11] | but it should be enough for Janet to locate your file. | 但这些信息足够让珍妮特找到你的档案 |
| [01:14] | Janet? | 珍妮特 |
| [01:17] | – Janet… – What’s that? | -珍妮特 -这是啥 |
| [01:20] | What’s that? | 这是啥 |
| [01:21] | What’s this? | 这又是啥 |
| [01:24] | Her memory’s still being rebooted | 她的记忆还处在重启阶段 |
| [01:25] | because, you know, someone murdered her. | 因为你知道 有人谋杀了她 |
| [01:29] | Janet, could you please locate the file for | 珍妮特 请你搜一下这份档案 |
| [01:31] | an Eleanor Shellstrop, born in… | 埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普 出生于… |
| [01:34] | – 1982? – Yes. | -1982年 -对 |
| [01:35] | Phoenix, Arizona, USA. | 出生在美国亚利桑那州凤凰城 |
| [01:37] | Sure. | 行 |
| [01:39] | Anything else? | 还有事吗 |
| [01:40] | No, Janet, this is actually a cactus. | 不 珍妮特 这是一盆仙人掌啊 |
| [01:45] | This might take a while. | 这要花些时间了 |
| [01:55] | Since Janet can’t retrieve your file, | 由于珍妮特无法获取你的档案 |
| [01:58] | I need to find another way | 我得用其它方式 |
| [01:59] | to determine what kind of person you were. | 来定义你生前是哪一类人 |
| [02:02] | This is a quick litmus test. | 这是个鉴别测验 |
| [02:05] | Handful of questions designed to tell | 上面有好多测试题 |
| [02:08] | whether you are fundamentally good or bad. | 旨在测出你到底是好人是坏人 |
| [02:10] | Question number one: Did you ever commit a serious crime, | 第一题 你曾否犯下重罪 |
| [02:13] | such as murder, | 诸如谋杀 |
| [02:14] | sexual harassment, arson, or otherwise? | 性骚扰 纵火或其它罪行 |
| [02:18] | No. | 没有 |
| [02:21] | Did you ever have a vanity license plate, | 你曾否使用过装十三的车牌 |
| [02:23] | like “MAMASBMW,” “LEXUS4LIZ,” Or “BOOBGUY”? | 例如 「姐开宝马」 「王者凌志」 「胸器逼人」 |
| [02:27] | No. | 没有 |
| [02:28] | Did you ever reheat fish in an office microwave? | 你曾否在办公室用微波炉将鱼重新加热 |
| [02:30] | No. | 没有 |
| [02:31] | Have you ever paid money to hear music performed by | 你曾否花钱去看过加州轻摇滚乐队 |
| [02:34] | California funk rock band “The Red Hot Chili Peppers”? | 「红辣椒乐队」的演出 |
| [02:37] | No. | 没有 |
| [02:39] | Did you ever take off your shoes and socks | 乘坐商务航班时 |
| [02:41] | on a commercial airline? | 曾否脱下过鞋袜 |
| [02:42] | And socks? | 还脱袜子吗 |
| [02:43] | Ew, who would do that? | 真恶心 谁会这么缺德啊 |
| [02:46] | People who go to the Bad Place, Eleanor, | 「恶地」的人就会啊 埃莉诺 |
| [02:49] | that’s the point. | 这就是重点 |
| [02:50] | And unless I can figure out a compelling reason to keep you here, | 除非我找到强有力的理由将你留下来 |
| [02:53] | you will spend eternity with murderers, and arsonists, | 否则你就要永远和谋杀犯 纵火犯 |
| [02:57] | and people who take off their shoes and socks on commercial airlines. | 以及那些在商务航班上脱鞋袜的人们待在一起了 |
| [03:04] | Janet, can I have a glass of water, please? | 珍妮特 能给我一杯水吗 |
| [03:06] | Here you go. | 给 |
| [03:09] | Gosh, you said “water”? | 天呐 你说的是水吗 |
| [03:11] | – Yeah. – I’m so sorry. | -嗯 -抱歉 |
| [03:13] | There you go. | 给 |
| [03:17] | 欢迎 一切安好 | |
| [03:18] | I really do have sympathy for your situation. | 我非常同情你的处境 |
| [03:22] | I mean, you thought your soul mate was a good person, | 你以为你的灵魂伴侣是好人 |
| [03:24] | and then you learned that she’s just an immoral grifter. | 结果却发现她是个道德败坏的大骗子 |
| [03:27] | – Tahani, please. – Am I wrong? | -塔哈妮 别说了 -我有说错吗 |
| [03:29] | She lied to everyone. | 她骗了所有人 |
| [03:31] | She caused a giant sinkhole | 她招致了裂洞 |
| [03:32] | into which poor Glenn fell. | 可怜的格伦掉进去了 |
| [03:34] | She caused a trash storm. | 她引起了一场垃圾风暴 |
| [03:36] | She… well, she pretended to be my friend | 她还在我需要朋友时 |
| [03:39] | when I really needed one. | 假装跟我做闺蜜 |
| [03:40] | And, lest we forget, she murdered Janet. | 还有 别忘了 她还杀了珍妮特 |
| [03:44] | As far as I’m concerned, the sooner she’s gone, | 我觉得 她越早离开这里 |
| [03:46] | the better off we’ll all be. | 我们就越快能清静 |
| [03:48] | I… I understand that Eleanor violated our trust, | 我知道埃莉诺打破了我们的信任 |
| [03:50] | but please, when you’re talking to Michael, | 但求你跟迈克尔见面时 |
| [03:53] | try to think about what she’s had to go through. | 尽量体谅一下她的处境 |
| [03:57] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [03:58] | I will, for you. | 看你面上 我答应你 |
| [04:01] | But we’ve been through a lot as well. | 但是我们也遭遇了很多事啊 |
| [04:01] | 欢迎 一切安好 | |
| [04:03] | You know, I haven’t been this upset since my good friend | 除了上次我好姐妹 泰勒 |
| [04:04] | Taylor was rudely upstaged by my other friend, Kanye, | 被侃爷抢了话筒后 我好久都没这么生气了 |
| [04:07] | who was defending my best friend, Beyonce. | 而他也是挺我的至亲 碧昂斯 |
| [04:10] | And finally, a multi-part question: | 最后一道多项题 |
| [04:13] | Did you ever appear on the American television program | 你曾否参加过美国电视节目 |
| [04:16] | “The Bachelor” or its companion shows “The Bachelorette” | 《单身汉》或《单身女郎》 |
| [04:19] | and “Bachelor in Paradise,” | 还有《天堂单身汉》 |
| [04:21] | or post on any social media site | 或是曾在社交网络上发帖 |
| [04:24] | that you were emotionally invested | 说你跟节目中嘉宾一样 |
| [04:26] | in any of the relationships the contestants were pursuing? | 沉浸于这样的情感关系 |
| [04:30] | No. | 没有 |
| [04:32] | Okay. | 好 |
| [04:34] | You did very well on the questionnaire, Eleanor. | 测试做得很好 埃莉诺 |
| [04:37] | So far, so good. | 目前不错 |
| [04:38] | Michael, good news. | 迈克尔 好消息 |
| [04:40] | I was able to obtain Eleanor Shellstrop’s file. | 我获取了埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普的档案了 |
| [04:43] | Is it actually a cactus? | 不会又是仙人掌吧 |
| [04:45] | – I don’t understand. – I want to see the file for Eleanor Shellstrop. | -我不懂 -我要埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普的档案 |
| [04:48] | Is that what you have, | 你手里是档案 |
| [04:50] | or do you have a cactus? | 还是另一盆仙人掌 |
| [04:52] | – I have the file. – You’re sure? | -我有档案 -你确定吗 |
| [04:53] | You have the file and not a cactus? | 你有档案 而不是仙人掌 |
| [04:55] | That is correct. | 没错 |
| [04:56] | I have Eleanor Shellstrop’s file. | 我有埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普的档案 |
| [04:58] | I do not have a cactus. | 这次不是仙人掌 |
| [05:00] | Excellent. Please, give me the file. | 太棒了 给我档案吧 |
| [05:02] | Here you go. | 给 |
| [05:04] | Thank you, Janet. | 谢了 珍妮特 |
| [05:05] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [05:07] | Well, I say we call it a day. | 今天就到这里吧 |
| [05:09] | I mean, I nailed the questionnaire, | 我问卷答得很满意 |
| [05:11] | and you’re swimming in cacti. | 你已经被仙人掌包围了 |
| [05:13] | Can’t we just chalk this up to a hilarious mistake and move on? | 我们就对这个失误一笑而过 翻篇吧 |
| [05:18] | No, we can’t, Eleanor. | 不行 埃莉诺 |
| [05:20] | There’s no such thing as a mistake in this realm. | 死后世界不存在这样的错误 |
| [05:23] | And yet, you are, somehow, a mistake. | 而你这里竟然出错了 |
| [05:25] | I mean, you’re a giant chunk of spinach | 你就像是宇宙牙缝里 |
| [05:28] | in the teeth of the universe. | 塞了一个大菠菜叶儿 |
| [05:37] | I need to understand every facet of this disaster. | 我得搞清楚这次灾难事件的每一个地方 |
| [05:41] | Tell me a lie about yourself. | 撒一个谎 |
| [05:43] | – Any lie. – I love the opera. | -什么谎都行 -我喜欢歌剧 |
| [05:47] | And now a truth. | 再说一句真话 |
| [05:49] | I love Women’s MMA. | 我喜欢女子综合格斗 |
| [05:51] | We don’t like to use this. | 我们不太想用这玩意儿 |
| [05:53] | We’ve never really had a call for it before you, | 你来之前 也没有能用上的地方 |
| [05:55] | but in the interest of time. | 但由于时间关系 |
| [05:57] | Eleanor, | 埃莉诺 |
| [05:58] | did you murder Janet? | 是不是你杀了珍妮特 |
| [06:01] | No, I did not. | 我没有 |
| [06:04] | Do you know who did? | 你知道是谁杀的吗 |
| [06:06] | Yes. | 我知道 |
| [06:08] | Will you tell me who it was? | 你会跟我说那人是谁吗 |
| [06:10] | No. | 不会 |
| [06:12] | I assume it was one of your friends, | 我猜是你的一个朋友 |
| [06:14] | and I admire you for protecting him or her. | 你护友心切 我尊重你的选择 |
| [06:17] | But Eleanor, in the Good Place, | 但是 埃莉诺「善地」之中 |
| [06:19] | there’s no room for bad people or bad actions, | 容不得坏人与恶行 |
| [06:23] | so anyone involved in the murder of Janet | 所以跟珍妮特谋杀案相关的人 |
| [06:26] | will be reviewed and judged, | 都要进行调查与审判 |
| [06:28] | and there will be consequences. | 此事一定会严惩 |
| [06:33] | Tahani, come on in. | 塔哈妮 进来吧 |
| [06:35] | Chidi. | 奇迪 |
| [06:37] | Imposter who soiled our paradise with her moral turpitude. | 你这个在净土之上洒下自己邪恶的大骗子 |
| [06:41] | ‘Sup? | 你好 |
| [06:43] | Thank you for confessing, | 谢谢你说出真相 |
| [06:44] | I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t… | 如果你没有 我都不知如何是好… |
| [06:45] | Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m amazing. Bad news. | 行行行 我了不起 坏消息是 |
| [06:48] | Michael knows I didn’t kill Janet | 迈克尔清楚我没杀珍妮特 |
| [06:50] | which means it’s only a matter of time | 这表示他迟早 |
| [06:52] | before he finds out that you did | 都会查出你是凶犯 |
| [06:53] | and that you did it | 而你这么做 |
| [06:54] | because you were trying to stop Bonehead Jones over here. | 只是为了阻止这个傻子做蠢事 |
| [06:57] | Hey, homies! | 小伙伴们 |
| [06:58] | Then he’ll figure out that Jianyu’s also a phony, | 他就会发现剑宇也是冒牌货 |
| [07:00] | and, here’s the real dong-buster, | 而最糟心的事情是 |
| [07:03] | Michael said anybody who did anything bad | 迈克尔说做了坏事之人 |
| [07:06] | might have to go… | 可能得下地狱… |
| [07:08] | Which means Jianyu’s gone, | 也就是说 剑宇会离开 |
| [07:10] | you might be gone, | 你可能也会离开 |
| [07:11] | and all three of us are royally forking forked! | 到时候 我们三个就真死定了 |
| [07:13] | This is terrible. | 这下坏了 |
| [07:14] | What am I supposed to do if he asks me? | 他要是问我怎么办 |
| [07:15] | I don’t know. Kant would say that lying in any scenario is wrong, | 谁知道啊 康德会说 「总之说谎就是错」 |
| [07:21] | so if Michael asks you if you killed Janet, | 所以如果迈克尔问你 是不是你杀了珍妮特 |
| [07:23] | you should say yes. | 你该说「是」 |
| [07:25] | On the other hand, | 而从另一面说 |
| [07:26] | snitches do get stitches. | 告密者死得会很惨 |
| [07:28] | That is true. | 绝对是 |
| [07:29] | I read that once on the back of my boy Peanut’s tricep. | 我在我兄弟花生的三角肌背面看过这句话 |
| [07:32] | You just casually cited Immanuel Kant. | 你竟然随口引述了康德的话 |
| [07:34] | Yeah, I know we’re in a miserable bind here, | 我知道我们正处于悲惨的困境之中 |
| [07:36] | but this might be the proudest day of my life. | 但这也许会成是我今生最骄傲的一天 |
| [07:39] | No offense, but that’s a real bummer of a life. | 恕我直言 这是人生中最倒霉的事了 |
| [07:43] | Tahani, I’ll get right to the crux of the matter. | 塔哈妮 我就开门见山了 |
| [07:46] | Did you murder Janet? | 是不是你杀了珍妮特 |
| [07:48] | Absolutely not. | 绝对不是我 |
| [07:51] | Now, you spent a lot of time with Eleanor. | 你和埃莉诺相处了很长时间 |
| [07:54] | Why do you think that is? | 为什么会这样呢 |
| [07:56] | Well, people are just drawn to me. | 我人见人爱 花见花开呗 |
| [07:57] | You know, one of my shyest friends, | 我最内向的一个朋友 |
| [07:59] | I won’t say his name to preserve his privacy, | 为保护他的隐私 我就不说名字了 |
| [08:01] | but he found my presence so comforting | 他觉得跟我在一起太舒服了 |
| [08:03] | that he asked me to co-host his TV show “Anderson Cooper 360.” | 于是请我跟他主持《安德逊·库伯秀》「即主持人名字」 |
| [08:07] | Given what you learned about Eleanor, | 以你对埃莉诺的了解 |
| [08:10] | do you think she deserves to be here? | 你觉得她应该留下来吗 |
| [08:14] | Well… | 这个 |
| [08:16] | You know, if it were up to me, | 如果由我来决定 |
| [08:18] | I might find a way to look past her… | 我也许会想法回顾一下她的… |
| [08:22] | deficiencies, | 不足之处 |
| [08:23] | but it’s not up to me, is it? | 但这不是由我决定的 对吧 |
| [08:25] | There are some criteria that she unfortunately | 很可惜 她活在人世时 |
| [08:27] | just didn’t meet in her time on Earth. | 没有达到一些标准 |
| [08:29] | So you think that I should send her to the Bad Place? | 所以依你之见 我该把她送到「恶地」去 |
| [08:31] | Well, I didn’t say that, | 我倒不是这个意思 |
| [08:33] | but is her staying here unfair to those who earned their place? | 但她留下来 对其它好人不太公平吧 |
| [08:37] | It sounds like you want her to leave. | 我听着感觉你想让她离开 |
| [08:39] | Well, is it not she who wants us to leave her? | 应该是她想让我们离开她吧 |
| [08:46] | Thank you, Tahani. You’ve been a big help. | 谢谢 塔哈妮 你很有帮助 |
| [08:50] | Listen up, genius. | 仔细听着 「小子」 |
| [08:51] | He’s gonna call you in there in a second. | 他马上就会叫你进去 |
| [08:53] | Don’t worry, I got you. | 放心吧 我挺你 |
| [08:54] | I’ll just tell Michael you’re the bomb | 我会跟迈克尔说 你很牛掰 |
| [08:56] | and that you got a dope soul and hell ethics. | 灵魂帅炸天 道德酷炫拽 |
| [08:58] | Boy. No, don’t say any of that. | 我的娘咧 千万别这么说 |
| [09:00] | Michael has a lie detector in there. | 迈克尔手里有测谎仪 |
| [09:02] | It’s a… it’s a glowing cube. | 是个发光立方体 |
| [09:04] | Like the AllSpark? From “Transformers”? | 就像「能量火种」 《变形金刚》吗 |
| [09:06] | Sure, just like the AllSpark from “Transformers,” | 对 就像《变形金刚》里的「能量火种」 |
| [09:09] | and… and he’ll know instantly if you’re lying about anything | 如果你说谎 马上就会被识破 |
| [09:12] | so only smiles and nods, got it? | 所以你就只点头微笑 懂了没 |
| [09:16] | Wise sage, centered Jianyu. | 大智者 剑宇 |
| [09:22] | I seek your wisdom in this moment of crisis. | 如此时刻 急需你的智慧为我解忧 |
| [09:26] | What to do with Eleanor? | 该怎么处理埃莉诺呢 |
| [09:28] | Should I let her stay? | 是该让她留下来 |
| [09:30] | Should I send her away? | 还是让她离开呢 |
| [09:33] | You think I should send her away? | 你觉得我该让她离开吗 |
| [09:37] | No, I should let her stay? | 意思是 我该让她留下来 |
| [09:40] | Or no, I shouldn’t let her stay because she doesn’t belong here? | 还是我不该让她留下 因为她不属于「善地」 |
| [09:44] | Or no, I shouldn’t let her stay | 还是说 我不该让她留下 |
| [09:46] | even though she does belong here? | 即便她其实属于「善地」 |
| [09:50] | Jianyu, I wish I had your wisdom. | 剑宇 我有你一半的智慧就好了 |
| [09:53] | Your devotion to the noble truths | 你将一切献予圣谛 |
| [09:55] | has given you something that I don’t have: clarity. | 因为获得了我无法企及之物 洞悉之心 |
| [09:58] | It was Buddha who said, | 佛陀有云 |
| [10:01] | “The man lives a pure life. | 「以纯净之心行走于世 |
| [10:03] | Nothing can destroy him.” | 必将坚不可摧」 |
| [10:05] | I’m not a man, and I’ve lived no life, | 我非凡人 未曾活过 |
| [10:09] | so will this destroy me? | 这会摧毁我吗 |
| [10:17] | Of course. | 想到了 |
| [10:18] | A cactus on its own intends no harm. | 仙人掌本身不会造成伤害 |
| [10:22] | It’s only when we interfere that it becomes dangerous. | 只有我们主动干预时 才会变成危险之物 |
| [10:25] | I need to remember my own agency here. | 我要谨记我在这里的职责 |
| [10:29] | Thank you, Jianyu. | 谢谢你 剑宇 |
| [10:31] | You’re free to go. | 你可以走了 |
| [10:35] | Yes, of course. Help yourself. | 可以 当然 拿吧 |
| [10:37] | I’ve got plenty of those. | 我有太多这玩意儿了 |
| [10:43] | Chidi, come on in. | 奇迪 进来吧 |
| [10:45] | Hi there. | 你好 |
| [10:45] | I have Eleanor’s file. | 我有埃莉诺的档案了 |
| [10:47] | Janet, if you hand me a cactus, | 珍妮特 你再给我一盆仙人掌 |
| [10:49] | I swear I will lose my mind. | 我就会崩溃了 |
| [10:53] | Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [10:54] | All right, here we go. Eleanor, come back in. | 来吧 埃莉诺 再进来吧 |
| [10:56] | Chidi, you stay here. | 奇迪 你待在这里 |
| [10:59] | This file contains a compendium | 这份档案总结了 |
| [11:03] | of all of the highest impact events from your life, | 你这辈子重大事件的概要 |
| [11:06] | That’s the… | 就是… |
| [11:07] | biggest positive and negative point swings. | 最正面与最负面的分数图 |
| [11:09] | So “Little Julie,” who’s that? | 谁是「小朱莉」呀 |
| [11:12] | Julie is my cousin’s daughter. | 朱莉是我表姐的女儿 |
| [11:14] | Her mom is kind of a mess, | 她妈妈的生活一团糟 |
| [11:15] | so I used to take her to the mall sometimes | 所以我有时会带她去商场 |
| [11:18] | and bought her churro dogs. | 给她买油炸奶油热狗 |
| [11:20] | It’s a hot dog, but the bun is two churros. | 就是热狗 但面包换成了油炸条 |
| [11:24] | And it’s tied together with a Slim Jim. | 里面放了瘦肉香肠 |
| [11:27] | It’s an Arizona delicacy. | 是亚利桑那特产美食 |
| [11:29] | Sounds awful, | 听起来很难吃 |
| [11:30] | but it’s very nice that you made that girl happy. | 但你哄小孩子开心 这点很好 |
| [11:34] | So what’s this: “Kool Threadz, | 「酷衣」是什么 |
| [11:36] | “Glendale, Arizona’s Premiere T-Shirt Emporium”? | 「亚利桑那州格伦代尔市首个大型T恤百货商店」 |
| [11:40] | Can we skip around and… and circle back? | 能先不聊这个 再回到上一话题 |
| [11:43] | How about I tell you more about those churro dogs. | 我再说说油炸奶油热狗吧 |
| [11:45] | They came with unlimited ranch dressing. | 上面铺满了奶油与沙拉酱 |
| [11:46] | Let’s hear about the t-shirts, please. | 还是说说T恤衫的事吧 |
| [11:49] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [11:51] | I’ll tell you, | 说就说 |
| [11:52] | but it doesn’t make me look great, | 但这事挺不光彩的 |
| [11:55] | so don’t judge me. | 别评判我 |
| [11:57] | That’s literally the purpose of this entire exercise. | 我们在这里就是为了评判你啊 |
| [12:03] | Okay, to understand this, | 要了解整件事 |
| [12:06] | you have to know about my roommate, Madison. | 你得先了解一下我室友 麦迪逊 |
| [12:08] | She was terrible. | 她人品极差 |
| [12:10] | Hey, Mads, I have to go to this stupid work party tonight. | 小麦 我今晚得去跟同事聚餐 |
| [12:14] | Can I borrow your peach dress? | 能借你的桃红色连衣裙吗 |
| [12:16] | That’s a hard no, babe. | 绝对不行 亲 |
| [12:18] | That dress is like twice your salary. | 那条裙子是你薪水的两倍 |
| [12:20] | All right, I gotta go to the DMV and pick up my vanity plates. | 我要去车管局拿「装十三」的车牌了 |
| [12:22] | Ciao, bitches. | 回见了 小贱人们 |
| [12:45] | Well, that’s… that’s not great, | 这可不是好事 |
| [12:48] | but I assume you confessed and paid to fix it. | 但你应该认错了 还拿钱修补了吧 |
| [12:51] | Not exactly. | 没有 |
| [12:52] | Hey, losers, I’m going out. | 衰女们 我走了 |
| [12:54] | Can you zip me? | 帮忙拉一下呗 |
| [12:56] | Dude, that dress is hella ripped. | 姐妹儿 这裙子被撕了啊 |
| [12:58] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:01] | That stupid dry cleaner! | 那个破干洗店 |
| [13:02] | Well, that’s the risk you take when you keep your clothes clean. | 想让衣服一尘不染 就得承担风险 |
| [13:05] | My mom’s a lawy | 我妈是律师 |
| [13:06] | Those asswipes are gonna pay. | 那些傻叉等着赔死吧 |
| [13:08] | She sued for $900 for the dress | 她申请索赔九百块裙子损坏费 |
| [13:11] | and $80 million in emotional distress. | 以及八千万精神损失费 |
| [13:14] | The legal fees drove the dry cleaner out of business. | 干洗店因法律诉讼费而倒闭了 |
| [13:17] | Boy. | 天呐 |
| [13:18] | Wait, this story’s about t-shirts. | 慢着 这该是关于T恤的事 |
| [13:23] | There’s more, isn’t there? | 还有后续 对吧 |
| [13:25] | A little. | 是啦 |
| [13:26] | Check this out. | 瞧瞧啊 |
| [13:27] | Somebody put the dry cleaners’ story online, and it went viral. | 有人把干洗店的事发到网上了 如今上热搜了 |
| [13:31] | Madison’s famous. | 麦迪逊出名了 |
| [13:33] | The “Dress Bitch”? Yikes. | 「裙砸婊」 靠 |
| [13:35] | Serves her right. | 真是活该啊 |
| [13:36] | Madison is psycho. She totally overreacted. | 麦迪逊就是个神经病 谁让她小题大做了 |
| [13:39] | This is her fault. | 都是她的错 |
| [13:40] | Yeah, her fault. That works. | 对 她的错 这样想可以 |
| [13:44] | You guys, what is happening? | 小伙伴们 怎么回事啊 |
| [13:47] | Someone egged my Lexus, | 有人朝我的雷克萨斯扔鸡蛋 |
| [13:49] | and I have like 40,000 tweets calling me the “Dress Bitch”? | 还有大概四万条微博留言骂我是「裙砸婊」 |
| [13:52] | Over a loser dry cleaner man? | 就为了一个废柴干洗店员 |
| [13:54] | Why is everyone so jealous of me? | 为什么我要受尽世人的嫉妒啊 |
| [13:57] | This is a trash city full of idiots. | 这个破城市里 全是一群傻叉 |
| [14:03] | The “Dress Bitch” Is so catchy. | 「裙砸婊」真顺口啊 |
| [14:05] | – Yeah. – I mean, someone could totally make t-shirts. | -是啊 -印到T恤上 绝对大卖 |
| [14:10] | No, no. No. No. | 不会吧 不会吧 |
| [14:12] | Do not tell me that you made T-shirts that said… | 你不是真印到T恤上了 |
| [14:15] | that and then sold them for a profit? | 然后卖掉赚钱吧 |
| [14:18] | Wish I could tell you that, bud. | 我也希望不是 朋友 |
| [14:20] | I really do. | 真的 |
| [14:22] | Girl, check it out! | 姐妹儿 瞧瞧 |
| [14:24] | They’re here. | 货到了 |
| [14:27] | Wait a second. | 打住 |
| [14:28] | Is this insane? | 这不是太过分了 |
| [14:29] | I mean, should we be doing this? | 这样做不厚道吧 |
| [14:31] | Dude, Madison brought this on herself, okay? | 麦迪逊这是活该啦 |
| [14:32] | She’s a nightmare of a person to everybody. | 她的存在 祸害人间啊 |
| [14:36] | Plus, we already have a ton of pre-orders. | 另外 我们已经接了很多预售订单了 |
| [14:38] | Here is your first cut of the profits. | 这是你赚的第一笔钱 |
| [14:41] | Holy mama. | 我滴神呐 |
| [14:44] | I can’t believe you sold the t-shirts. | 你竟然真把那些T恤给卖了 |
| [14:46] | Does it help if they basically sold themselves? | T恤本身就很火 也不算我们的错吧 |
| [14:49] | I think you know it does not. | 你心知肚明 就是你的错 |
| [14:52] | What did you do with the money? | 你赚来的钱都用来干什么了 |
| [14:53] | I was hoping you wouldn’t ask me that. | 我就怕你问这个问题呢 |
| [15:01] | Thanks, babe. | 谢了 亲 |
| [15:06] | Next question. | 下一个问题 |
| [15:08] | Eleanor. | 埃莉诺 |
| [15:11] | Given what you know about the people who’ve been brought here, | 由于你已经了解了来「善地」的人 |
| [15:15] | the lives they’ve led, | 他们生前的生活 |
| [15:18] | do you think you belong in the Good Place? | 你觉得你应该待在「善地」吗 |
| [15:21] | No, I don’t. | 不该 |
| [15:32] | Yello, Bad Place. | 你好 这里是「恶地」 |
| [15:33] | What’s up, dummy? | 有什么事 蠢货 |
| [15:35] | This is Michael, | 我是迈克尔 |
| [15:36] | the architect from Good Place Neighborhood 12358W. | 「善地」建筑师 编号12358W号 |
| [15:41] | I’m guessing you’ve been looking for someone | 你们肯定在找一名 |
| [15:43] | called Eleanor Shellstrop. | 叫埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普的人吧 |
| [15:46] | She’s here. Come and get her. | 她在这里 带走她吧 |
| [16:01] | What is this? | 什么情况 |
| [16:03] | What is that smell? | 什么味道 |
| [16:08] | Get out of here! | 快走 |
| [16:14] | Hello, Trevor. | 你好 特雷弗 |
| [16:15] | Hey, there he is. | 你来了啊 |
| [16:17] | Good to see you again, Mikey. | 又见面啦 小迈迈 |
| [16:18] | Hey, think fast, I brought you something. | 拿着 你的礼物 |
| [16:21] | Nuts, thank you. | 坚果啊 谢谢 |
| [16:26] | Flaming snake ate all the nuts you brought me. | 火焰蛇把你带给我的坚果都吃光了 |
| [16:29] | You’re too nice to humiliate. | 人设太圣父 整你都没劲了 |
| [16:32] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [16:33] | Hi, you look like a piece of crap, | 你看起来很废柴 |
| [16:36] | are… are you Eleanor? | 你就是埃莉诺吗 |
| [16:38] | Dude, you’re like a legend in the Bad Place. | 大姐 你在「恶地」就是个传说啊 |
| [16:40] | You’re… Check this out. | 瞧瞧这个 |
| [16:42] | “Dress Bitch”! | 「群砸婊」 |
| [16:45] | It’s pretty great, right? | 很棒吧 |
| [16:46] | Trevor. Do you know what caused this mistake? | 特雷弗 你查出这个错误的原因了吗 |
| [16:48] | ‘Cause I cannot figure it out. | 因为我想不通 |
| [16:50] | No, we’re stumped, but, don’t sweat it, champ. | 这也难住我们了 不过别慌 「老头子」 |
| [16:52] | She’s definitely one of ours. | 她绝对是我们的人 |
| [16:54] | So we’ll just roll on out, and you can get back to, | 我们就先撤了 你就继续… |
| [16:56] | putting rainbows up your butt or whatever you do here. Okay? | 在屁股上贴彩虹之类的吧 |
| [17:00] | Let’s hit it, sweetheart. We got a long ride. | 走 小美女 路长着呢 |
| [17:02] | What? Right now? | 等下 现在就走吗 |
| [17:04] | Trevor, for decency’s sake, | 特雷弗 给个面子 |
| [17:06] | let her have some good-byes. | 让她做个告别吧 |
| [17:08] | God, good people are the worst. | 天呐 好人太烦人了 |
| [17:09] | Okay, 30 minutes. | 行 给你三十分钟 |
| [17:12] | We gotta get back for “The Bachelor.” | 我们还得回去看《单身汉》呢 |
| [17:13] | I’m gonna be pissed if I miss the Rose Ceremony. | 要是没赶上「选择仪式」 小爷会生气噢 |
| [17:17] | I just want to say, once more, for the record, | 我就是想再声明一次 |
| [17:20] | that this whole good/bad system is bullshirt. | 「好人与坏人」的制度 他喵的太不合理了 |
| [17:24] | There should be a medium place for people like me | 我们这种人就该待在中间地带 |
| [17:27] | who kind of sucked, but in, like, a fun, chill way. | 虽然人不怎样 但就是随性不羁那种 |
| [17:31] | I agree. | 我同意 |
| [17:33] | I’m sorry I dragged you into this. | 我很抱歉拖累你了 |
| [17:35] | And that I never did laundry. | 还没洗过脏衣服 |
| [17:38] | And that I waited until you were | 我都是等你洗衣服时 |
| [17:40] | about to do yours then secretly tossed mine | 悄悄把脏衣服扔进你篮子里 |
| [17:42] | into the basket to trick you into doing it. | 用此计让你把我的衣服也一起洗了 |
| [17:44] | You didn’t trick me. I repeatedly asked you to stop. | 我识破了 我都告诉你好几次别这么干了 |
| [17:46] | Just know you did everything you could to help me. | 你尽力帮我了 |
| [17:50] | You’re a really good fake soul mate. | 灵魂伴侣虽假 心却真 |
| [18:04] | What are you guys doing here? | 你们怎么过来了 |
| [18:05] | Well, we only thought it was proper to see you off. | 我们只是觉得应该来给你送别 |
| [18:08] | It’s the neighborly thing to do. | 邻里之间 理应守望相助 |
| [18:12] | You guys came to say good-bye because you’re my friends. | 你们把我当朋友 才来跟我道别 |
| [18:15] | Well, I… suppose some part of me | 我想我还是有点 |
| [18:19] | possibly has a sense of casual kinship with you. | 可能对你还是有点感情吧 |
| [18:24] | Much as one might be fond of a street cat. | 就像人和流浪猫的感觉 |
| [18:27] | Thanks, Tahani. | 谢谢你 塔哈妮 |
| [18:29] | Sorry about everything. | 我对一切都感到抱歉 |
| [18:34] | I’m really glad we’re friends. | 跟你做朋友 我很开心 |
| [18:40] | Hey, dum-dum. You ready to go? | 小蠢妞儿 可以走了吗 |
| [18:42] | You must be Chidi. | 你就是奇迪了吧 |
| [18:44] | Trying to improve her. | 想把她影响成好人 |
| [18:46] | Bold plan, bro. | 勇气可嘉啊 |
| [18:47] | Well, actually, she learned a great deal in a very short amount of time | 其实 她在短时间内 长进了不少 |
| [18:50] | Really? Really? | 是么 是么 |
| [18:51] | I don’t care. All right, let’s hit it. | 我可不在乎 我们走吧 |
| [18:53] | Also, you should smile more. You have such a pretty smile. | 还有 你该多笑笑 你笑起来很好看 |
| [18:56] | Love you, babe. Can’t wait to torture you. | 爱你 小美女 等不及要折磨你了 |
| [19:02] | This is the 3:18 to the Bad Place, | 这是三点十八分开往「恶地」的火车 |
| [19:05] | making thousands of stops for literally no reason. | 中间有无数个无缘由的停车站 |
| [19:09] | Now, you’ll notice it’s very hot in here, | 你会注意到 这里非常热 |
| [19:11] | and it will get one degree hotter | 而你每次想到热 |
| [19:13] | every time you think about how hot it is. | 温度就会升高一度 |
| [19:17] | You just thought about it. | 你刚才想很热了 |
| [19:20] | – Michael… – Hi, Chidi. | -迈克尔 -你好 奇迪 |
| [19:22] | Want some pizza? | 想吃披萨吗 |
| [19:24] | Bad Place crew delivered a hundred of these to my office. | 「恶地」那帮人送了好多披萨过来 |
| [19:27] | All Hawaiian, the worst pizza. | 全是夏威夷披萨 最难吃的 |
| [19:29] | Michael, I murdered Janet. | 迈克尔 是我杀了珍妮特 |
| [19:32] | I knew about Eleanor from the beginning. | 我一开始就知道埃莉诺的事 |
| [19:34] | I’ve been trying to help her become a better person, | 我一直暗中帮她成为一个更善良的人 |
| [19:37] | and when she found out that your retirement meant | 而当她得知 你退休就代表 |
| [19:38] | that you would be tortured, | 你要接受酷刑时 |
| [19:39] | she immediately tried to find a way to prevent it. | 她马上就想办法阻止你退休 |
| [19:41] | Eleanor is learning. | 埃莉诺有长进 |
| [19:44] | She’s just doing it after she died. | 只不过是死后才慢慢变善良 |
| [19:47] | I did enjoy her company. | 我确实很喜欢跟她在一起 |
| [19:51] | But, this is not Little League. | 但这里不是少棒联盟 |
| [19:54] | There is no award for Most Improved Player, Chidi. | 没有最大进步奖 奇迪 |
| [19:58] | Well, maybe there should be. | 也许应该设立一个 |
| [20:02] | One final note: the dining car is at the very back of the train. | 最后一项 餐厅在火车尾车厢 |
| [20:07] | It serves only room-temperature Manhattan clam chowder, | 只供应室温曼哈顿蛤蜊浓汤 |
| [20:11] | and also, it’s closed. | 还有 餐厅关门了 |
| [20:14] | Okay, here we go. | 可以了 出发了 |
| [20:22] | Stop this train! | 停车 |
| [20:29] | Dude, what the fork? | 「老头子」 搞什么啊 |
| [20:30] | You’re not leaving. Not with her. | 你不能走 不能带她走 |
| [20:33] | Not yet. Come on. | 暂时不行 起来 |
| [20:39] | Wait, you want to keep her? | 等下 你想留下她吗 |
| [20:41] | Bro, that’s our girl. We agreed on this. | 咱们都说好了 她是我们的人 |
| [20:44] | No, what we agreed on was that this was a mistake. | 我们都认同的是 这是个错误 |
| [20:47] | Trevor, we’re in unchartered territory here. | 特雷弗 我们都第一次遇到这种事 |
| [20:50] | Until we can sort this out, she stays with us. | 圆满解决之前 她得留下 |
| [20:52] | All right, fine, but until this is resolved, | 行 这事解决之前 |
| [20:55] | we’re keeping the other Eleanor. | 我们也留下另一个埃莉诺了 |
| [20:57] | Fine. What? I’m sorry… | 行 什么 你说啥… |
| [20:58] | – The other Eleanor? – Yeah, the real Eleanor. | -另一个埃莉诺吗 -没错 真正的埃莉诺 |
| [21:01] | The one that was supposed to be here | 那个本来该来「善地」 |
| [21:02] | but got sent down to us instead? | 却去了「恶地」的埃莉诺 |
| [21:04] | She’s on the train. | 她在火车上呢 |
| [21:05] | Eleanor, come on out. | 埃莉诺 出来吧 |
| [21:14] | Hi, everyone, I’m Eleanor Shellstrop. | 大家好啊 我是埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普 |