| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:07] | Morning, Mike. How’s it hanging? | 早 迈克 工作如何 |
| [00:10] | Fine, Dave, just fine. | 挺好 戴夫 还行 |
| [00:11] | Listen, we got the files for the new crop of incoming, | 听着 我们接到新居民的档案了 |
| [00:14] | and the big guy thinks it’s time for you to fly solo. | 老大觉得你可以单飞了 |
| [00:18] | I get to design it myself? | 我可以单独设计了吗 |
| [00:20] | You’ve been an apprentice long enough. You’re ready. | 你已经做了很久学徒了 你可以出师了 |
| [00:25] | Dave, I’m gonna work so hard. | 戴夫 我一定会非常努力 |
| [00:27] | My design is gonna be absolutely perfect. | 我一定交出完美的答卷 |
| [00:30] | Easy there, rookie. | 别太激动 「新手」 |
| [00:31] | Starting immediately, you’ll be reporting directly to the front office. | 立即上任 你将直接向管理层汇报 |
| [00:34] | This is your shot. Good luck. | 你大展拳脚的时刻到了 祝你好运 |
| [00:46] | The Bad Place is owed two people. | 「恶地」目前缺两个人 |
| [00:48] | You have all done bad things since you arrived here. | 你们来到「善地」之后 都做过坏事 |
| [00:51] | I don’t care which two of you go. | 所以我不在乎谁离开 |
| [00:53] | You can decide. You have 30 minutes. | 你们自己决定 给你们三十分钟 |
| [00:59] | All I ever wanted was for this neighborhood… | 我只想让这片「善地」街区 |
| [01:02] | my first neighborhood to be perfect. | 我的第一个作品完美而已 |
| [01:04] | Somehow I blew it and… | 而我却搞砸了 |
| [01:07] | Well, you’re all suffering, | 结果你们因此受累 |
| [01:09] | and for that, I’m deeply sorry. | 为此 我深表歉意 |
| [01:17] | This is truly the saddest day of my life. | 这真是我一生中最悲伤的时刻 |
| [01:32] | Okay, I guess I’ll speak first. | 好吧 我先说 |
| [01:36] | Jason and I are the mistakes. | 我和杰森才是问题所在 |
| [01:37] | We’re the ones who misled everybody | 我们俩误导了大家 |
| [01:39] | and dragged you all into this mess, so… | 拖累你们卷入风波之中 所以… |
| [01:42] | we should go to the bad place. | 我们俩该去「恶地」 |
| [01:43] | – Agreed. – Yes. | -同意 -没错 |
| [01:45] | Okay, I thought you were gonna at least pretend | 好吧 还以为你们会客套一下 |
| [01:46] | to fight me on that, but whatever. | 假装争论一番 但无所谓了 |
| [01:48] | Hang on. That judge guy just said | 等下 那个法官说 |
| [01:50] | everyone here has done bad things. | 大家都干了坏事 |
| [01:53] | Let’s look at this ethnically. | 从「种族」角度分析一下 |
| [01:55] | “Ethically.” | 是「伦理道德」 |
| [01:56] | You guys helped me and Eleanor, right, | 你们帮了我和埃莉诺 对吧 |
| [01:58] | but we’re bad, | 但我们不是好人 |
| [01:59] | so you helping us was bad. | 所以你们帮我们是坏事 |
| [02:02] | It’s basic consequentialism: | 这是基本结果论 |
| [02:04] | The morality of an action is solely judged on its consequences. | 行为是否道德仅通过结果来判断 |
| [02:07] | Great. | 真棒 |
| [02:08] | The one time you actually remember something from class. | 就那么一次用心听课 你还真用上了 |
| [02:11] | Maybe I was brought here by mistake, | 就算我是误入「善地」 |
| [02:12] | but since we’ve been here, | 但我们来到「善地」之后 |
| [02:14] | I just tried to stay out of everyone’s way. | 我都是尽量不惹别人 |
| [02:16] | Chidi’s done worse stuff than me. | 奇迪比我做得差多了 |
| [02:18] | He murdered Janet. He killed my wife! | 他杀了珍妮特 他杀了我妻子 |
| [02:20] | I was trying to stop you from doing it! | 我当时是想阻止你杀她啊 |
| [02:22] | Yeah, but you did it. | 是 但还是你下的手 |
| [02:23] | He who smelt it murdered Janet. | 是他动手杀了她 |
| [02:25] | Well, it’s settled then. | 有结论了 |
| [02:26] | Eleanor and Jianyu are leaving. | 埃莉诺和建宇离开 |
| [02:28] | For the last time, my name is Jason, | 最后再说一次 我叫杰森 |
| [02:30] | not Jianyu, the amazing and incredible monk. | 不是建宇 不是那个伟大的僧人 |
| [02:32] | Which is why you belong in the bad place. | 所以你才该去「恶地」啊 |
| [02:34] | And by the way, Janet is not your wife, | 再说了 珍妮特不是你妻子 |
| [02:37] | or your soul mate. | 也不是你灵魂伴侣 |
| [02:38] | There’s a Janet in every neighborhood. | 每片「善地」街区都有一个珍妮特 |
| [02:40] | Well, I’m in love with this Janet. | 我爱的是这个珍妮特 |
| [02:41] | We did a bunch of amazing, awesome stuff | 我们做了很多绝妙美好的事情 |
| [02:43] | which almost turned out to be sex, | 差不多就是做爱了 |
| [02:45] | and we were married in a legal ceremony. | 我们是合法结婚 |
| [02:47] | It was not legal. | 其实不合法 |
| [02:47] | Okay, J-bones, you and me, outside. | 好了 「杰色兄」 我们俩出去聊 |
| [02:49] | What? But… | 啥 但… |
| [02:52] | I’m not going. I don’t wanna. | 我不走 我不想去 |
| [02:53] | Well, I don’t wanna either, but let’s face it. | 我也不想啊 但坦白说吧 |
| [02:58] | Chidi and Tahani are better people than we are. | 奇迪和塔哈妮的本质比我们好 |
| [03:01] | We tried to improve ourselves and we did a good job. | 我们努力提升自己了 也确实长进了 |
| [03:04] | Well, I did a good job. | 是我长进了 |
| [03:06] | You mostly fell asleep in class | 你基本上没怎么听课 |
| [03:08] | or made fart noises with your hands. | 要么就是用手制造屁声 |
| [03:09] | I could never do that on earth. | 我生前都做不到 |
| [03:11] | This place truly is paradise. | 这里确实是天堂啊 |
| [03:15] | Look at them. | 你瞧他们 |
| [03:16] | Whispering away like two beefeaters on a tea break. | 像两个英国卫兵休息时闲聊一样 |
| [03:20] | I bet they’re plotting against us. | 他们肯定想坑我们 |
| [03:21] | No way. Eleanor wouldn’t do that. | 不可能 埃莉诺不可能那么做 |
| [03:24] | You do have feelings for her, don’t you? | 你确实喜欢她吧 |
| [03:26] | Yes. But no. | 是 也不是 |
| [03:28] | Please don’t make me think about this again. | 别再让我考虑这事了 |
| [03:29] | My brain will break. | 我脑子会炸裂 |
| [03:30] | I’m sorry, it’s just that I have certain feelings for you. | 抱歉 就是我也有点喜欢你 |
| [03:33] | I don’t mean to contribute to your misery, | 我不是想让你更心烦 |
| [03:35] | it’s just that I’m frightened. | 我就是很害怕而已 |
| [03:37] | I don’t have an actual soul mate. | 我没有真正的灵魂伴侣 |
| [03:40] | What’s gonna happen to me when Jason and fake Eleanor go | 到时杰森和「冒牌埃莉诺」离开 而你跟「正牌埃莉诺」一起 |
| [03:43] | and you’re off with real Eleanor? | 我又该何去何从 |
| [03:46] | Whither Tahani? | 塔哈妮的归属呢 |
| [03:48] | Okay, team meeting. | 好了 小组开会 |
| [03:50] | Jason has agreed that the two of us should go. | 杰森同意我们俩离开了 |
| [03:54] | Bye, Tahani. | 再见 塔哈妮 |
| [03:55] | Sorry for everything. | 对发生一切感到抱歉 |
| [03:57] | After I’m gone you can go ahead and clean out my bud hole. | 我走以后 你可以清理掉我的「秘穴」了 |
| [04:01] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [04:05] | I love you so much, baby. | 我真的很爱你 宝贝 |
| [04:07] | Promise me you’ll visit. | 答应来看我 |
| [04:08] | I will not. | 我不会 |
| [04:10] | It is literally impossible for me to do that. | 我是真没有办法去看你 |
| [04:14] | Well, it’s been real, dog. | 我们之间是真情 兄弟 |
| [04:17] | Sorry, that’s how I ended most of my serious relationships. | 抱歉 我大部分感情都是这样收场 |
| [04:20] | Yeah, that checks out. | 确实如此 |
| [04:24] | I feel like I failed you. | 我感觉辜负了你 |
| [04:25] | No. Don’t ever think that. | 没有 千万别这么想 |
| [04:30] | I was dropped into a cave, | 我之前就像掉进了山洞 |
| [04:34] | and you were my flashlight. | 而你是我的手电筒 |
| [04:38] | Good-bye forever. | 永别了 |
| [04:40] | I will miss you so much. | 我会想念你的 |
| [04:42] | I’ll miss you too, you sexy skyscraper. | 我也会想你的 你这个性感高挑的小妖精 |
| [04:47] | All right, ready to go? Let’s grab Michael. | 好了 可以走了吗 我们去找迈克尔 |
| [04:51] | Come in. | 进来 |
| [04:53] | Hi, guys. Sorry to interrupt. | 各位 抱歉打扰 |
| [04:57] | I’m going to the bad place. I’ve taken one of the slots. | 我要去「恶地」了 我已经要了一个名额了 |
| [05:00] | – What? – Awesome. | -啥 -赞哦 |
| [05:01] | Eleanor, that’s crazy. You belong here. | 埃莉诺 你疯了 你属于「善地」 |
| [05:04] | Why would you go? | 你为何要走啊 |
| [05:05] | Everyone here is supposed to have a soul mate, | 这里都人都有自己的灵魂伴侣 |
| [05:08] | and my soul mate doesn’t love me. | 而我的伴侣不爱我 |
| [05:13] | I don’t know if you love the other Eleanor | 我不知道你是喜欢另一个埃莉诺 |
| [05:15] | or Tahani or someone else, | 还是喜欢塔哈妮或别人 |
| [05:18] | but you don’t love me, | 总之你不爱我 |
| [05:21] | which means that this… | 这就意味着 |
| [05:24] | will never really be my good place. | 这里永远不是我的「天堂」 |
| [05:28] | I’m going, so you only have to choose one more person. | 我心意已决 你们再选一个人就可以了 |
| [05:34] | Okay, that means… | 好吧 这表示… |
| [05:37] | what does that mean? | 这表示什么意思啊 |
| [05:38] | It means… | 意思就是… |
| [05:40] | I get to stay here with my wife forever! | 我可以留下来跟我妻子在一起了 |
| [05:43] | We did it, Eleanor! USA! USA! USA! | 我们成功了 埃莉诺 美国万岁 万岁 |
| [06:01] | This is a real mess, huh? | 这真是一团乱啊 |
| [06:04] | No matter what they decide, | 不管他们如何决定 |
| [06:05] | I’d bet you’re gonna be in pretty hot water with your boss. | 我敢说你的上司都不会轻易放过你 |
| [06:08] | Wouldn’t be surprised if retirement were on the table. | 让你退休也有可能 |
| [06:13] | Retirement? | 退休 |
| [06:14] | Of course, what do I know? | 我何德何能 懂什么啊 |
| [06:15] | I’m just the all-knowing judge of all matters in the afterlife. | 我只是「死后世界」无所不知的大法官而已 |
| [06:19] | But face it, this is your mistake. | 但承认吧 这就是你的错 |
| [06:23] | – Morning, Mike. – Morning, Val. | -早 迈克 -早 小薇 |
| [06:26] | Which one’s which? I always forget. | 哪个是哪个 我总是忘 |
| [06:28] | Black is regular, orange is anti-matter. | 黑色是正常的 橙色是反物质的 |
| [06:32] | Working on your first solo design, right? | 你正为你的第一个单飞设计而努力吧 |
| [06:36] | How’s it coming? | 怎么样了啊 |
| [06:39] | Do you ever get the feeling we could be doing it all… differently? | 你有没有想过我们可以别出心裁啊 |
| [06:43] | I mean, it’s always the same. | 总是那一套 |
| [06:45] | We get the names, come up with the design, | 拿到名字 想出设计 |
| [06:48] | they arrive, we move on to the next one. | 他们到达 我们再设计下一批 |
| [06:51] | We never even get to be there… | 我们都没机会去到那里… |
| [06:54] | To see how fun it is. | 体验其中乐趣 |
| [06:55] | Yeah, I guess, but don’t rock the boat here, pal, | 是啊 但你别不按套路出牌 |
| [06:58] | just try to do a good job. | 做好分内事就好了 |
| [07:02] | French Vanilla? | 法式香草 |
| [07:04] | Regular anti-matter’s fine. Why flavor it? | 普通反物质咖啡就很好 为什么加口味 |
| [07:08] | A good job. | 做好事 |
| [07:17] | 街区 编号12358W 「善地」 一个大胆的计划 | |
| [07:23] | All right, nerds, let’s just get this over with. | 好了 小伙伴们 赶紧完事吧 |
| [07:27] | I’ll go to the bad place with real Eleanor, | 我和「正牌埃莉诺」去「恶地」 |
| [07:29] | – and you three can stay. – Yes! | -你们三个留下 -太棒了 |
| [07:30] | We get to stay, baby! We did it! | 我们可以留下来 成功了 |
| [07:32] | Wait, no. | 不行 等下 |
| [07:34] | You’re not going. | 你别去 |
| [07:37] | I am. | 我去 |
| [07:37] | – What? – Why? | -什么 -为什么 |
| [07:39] | Real Eleanor is my soul mate… or was my soul mate… | 「正牌埃莉诺」是我的灵魂伴侣 曾经是吧 |
| [07:42] | and she’s only going down there | 她想前往「恶地」 |
| [07:43] | because she thinks that I don’t love her. | 只是因为她以为我不爱她 |
| [07:45] | – Do you? – I don’t know. | -那你爱吗 -不清楚 |
| [07:46] | Please don’t ask me that. My stomach hurts. | 求别问 我一想这事就胃疼 |
| [07:47] | The point is, if she’s going down there because of me, | 重点是 如果她是因为我而去 |
| [07:51] | I’ll never be at peace. | 我良心永远难安 |
| [07:51] | Yes! We get to stay, baby! We did it! | 太棒了 我们可以留下来 成功了 |
| [07:54] | No, this is bonkers. | 不 这太扯了 |
| [07:55] | I am going. End of story. | 我去 就这么定了 |
| [07:57] | No, I’m going. End of everything. | 不 我去 最终决定 |
| [07:59] | What? Now you’re trying to replace Chidi? | 什么 你想代替奇迪吗 |
| [08:02] | No. I’m going to replace real Eleanor. | 不 我要替代「正牌埃莉诺」的位置 |
| [08:04] | Chidi and I are going to go together, | 我和奇迪一起去「恶地」 |
| [08:06] | which means that you and real Eleanor and Jason can stay. | 就是说 你和「正牌埃莉诺」以及杰森留下 |
| [08:08] | Yes! We get to stay, baby! We did it! | 太棒了 我们可以留下来 成功了 |
| [08:11] | Look, I love you and I think you love me. | 我爱你 我觉得你也爱我 |
| [08:15] | We can be together, away from everyone else. | 我们可以一起去 远离这里的一切 |
| [08:18] | Obviously, we’ll be miserable, | 显然 我们会活得很悲惨 |
| [08:20] | but I truly believe our love will make us happy. | 但我真心相信我们有爱就幸福 |
| [08:24] | Okay, you realize the bad place is not | 你确实知道「恶地」 |
| [08:25] | some sort of couples retreat, right? | 不是什么情侣圣地吧 |
| [08:27] | If it is, Janet and I would like to go. | 如果真是 我和珍妮特绝对要去 |
| [08:29] | That’s enough out of you, robot lover. | 你够了 「机器恋人」 |
| [08:32] | – Hey, that’s racist! – Not a robot. | -你这是种族歧视 -我不是机器人 |
| [08:33] | You have some nerve. | 你好大胆子啊 |
| [08:35] | Guys? | 各位 |
| [08:38] | Guys! | 各位 |
| [08:48] | Holy motherforking shirtballs. | 我顶你喵的心肝脾胃肺啊 |
| [08:54] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [08:56] | Wow! | 我滴神呐 |
| [08:57] | Okay, okay. | 行 行 |
| [09:02] | Yo, Mikey! Shawn! Come on out! | 小迈迈 肖恩 出来吧 |
| [09:09] | Is everything okay? | 大家还好吗 |
| [09:10] | Right as rain, Mikey my boy. | 好得很 迈迈小可爱 |
| [09:12] | So, Chidi and I are gonna go to the bad place. | 我和奇迪去「恶地」 |
| [09:16] | – What? – Trust me, I’ve got this. | -什么 -相信我 你就看戏吧 |
| [09:18] | That’s our decision. Let’s hit it. | 这是我们的决定 我们走吧 |
| [09:20] | Well, what about real Eleanor? | 那「正牌埃莉诺」呢 |
| [09:22] | No, it’s me and Chidi. Call the train. | 不是 就是我和奇迪 叫车吧 |
| [09:26] | Point of order. I don’t accept this offer. | 按议事程序来说 我不接受该提议 |
| [09:28] | The real mistakes were Jason and Eleanor. | 真正的问题是杰森和埃莉诺 |
| [09:31] | You said any two of us. | 你说只要两人就行 |
| [09:32] | It’s me and Chidi. Let’s do it to it. | 就是我和奇迪 咱走吧 |
| [09:36] | Michael! I just found an obscure precedent in the rules | 迈克尔 我刚在制度中找到一条模棱两可的先例 |
| [09:39] | that might just save everyone. | 也许能拯救所有人 |
| [09:40] | Buzz off, Bambadjan! Don’t need it. | 走开 巴姆酱 不需要 |
| [09:44] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:48] | Ready when you are, boss. | 我们随时都可以走了 老大 |
| [09:50] | Eleanor, what’s going on? | 埃莉诺 什么情况啊 |
| [09:52] | It took me a while to figure it out, | 我花了一些时间才琢磨明白 |
| [09:54] | but just now as we were all fighting and yelling at each other | 但就在刚才 我们互相争吵 |
| [09:58] | and each one of us demanding we should go to the bad place, | 每个人都在争着去「恶地」时 |
| [10:01] | I thought to myself, “Man, this is torture.” | 我就心想 「这太折磨人了」 |
| [10:05] | And then it hit me. | 然后突然灵光闪现 |
| [10:07] | They’re never gonna call a train to take us to the bad place. | 他们永远都不会叫车带我们去「恶地」 |
| [10:11] | The can’t, because we’re already here. | 他们做不到 因为我们已身处其中了 |
| [10:16] | This is the bad place. | 这里就是「恶地」 |
| [10:31] | Man! | 天呐 |
| [10:34] | I can’t believe you figured it out. | 真想不到被你识破了 |
| [10:39] | God! | 天呐 |
| [10:40] | Y-you ruined everything, you know that? | 你毁了一切啊 你知道吗 |
| [10:56] | Man! | 天呐 |
| [10:57] | Eleanor, you really suck! | 埃莉诺 你太讨人厌了 |
| [11:00] | I was so close to pulling it off! | 我的计谋差点就得逞了 |
| [11:10] | Sorry. So she’s right? | 不好意思 所以她猜对了 |
| [11:12] | Yeah, she figured it out. | 嗯 被她识破了 |
| [11:14] | No, this doesn’t make any sense. | 这不科学啊 |
| [11:17] | This is paradise. | 这里是「天堂」 |
| [11:19] | It looks like paradise, | 只是看起来是天堂 |
| [11:21] | but it’s actually a filthy dumpster full of our worst anxieties. | 但其实是个装满了最大烦忧的脏乱垃圾桶 |
| [11:26] | I’m surrounded by people who are literally better than me. | 我身边都是各种比我好的人 |
| [11:30] | Just me being here forced Chidi into an ethical “Clusterfork.” | 而我的存在 置奇迪于道德困境 |
| [11:34] | Tahani tortured Jason by constantly trying to get him to talk, | 塔哈妮通过让杰森开口说话 来折磨他 |
| [11:37] | Jason tortured my because I was sure he would blow our cover, | 杰森用来折磨我 因为我确信他会害我俩穿帮 |
| [11:39] | which was torture for Chidi, | 对奇迪来说也是一种在折磨 |
| [11:41] | because he was responsible for me, | 因为他对我有责任 |
| [11:43] | which made Chidi seem like the perfect soul mate, | 这让奇迪成为完美的灵魂伴侣 |
| [11:45] | and that tortured Tahani because he didn’t love her. | 这样塔哈妮深受折磨 因为他不爱她 |
| [11:48] | You don’t love me? | 你不爱我吗 |
| [11:48] | Please, don’t ask me that right now. | 求你别在这节骨眼上问我了 |
| [11:50] | See? | 瞧见们 |
| [11:51] | We’ve been torturing each other | 我们来到这里的那一刻起 |
| [11:53] | since the moment we arrived, | 就一直在相互折磨 |
| [11:55] | and everything Michael has done | 而迈克尔所做的一切 |
| [11:57] | has made at least one of us miserable. | 都至少让我们其中一个很痛苦 |
| [11:59] | He played us like a fiddle. | 他把我们耍得团团转 |
| [12:01] | Dip! | 我去 |
| [12:02] | Eleanor, I told you that first night that we were in a prank show. | 埃莉诺 第一晚时 我说过这是个整蛊节目了 |
| [12:06] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [12:07] | You did! Great job, man. | 确实是啊 真不错 兄弟 |
| [12:11] | Chidi, don’t go! | 奇迪 别走 |
| [12:13] | I don’t care if you don’t love me; I love you. | 我不在乎你是否爱我 我爱你就够了 |
| [12:16] | It’s the only thing that makes any sense to me in this crazy world, | 我的世界里只有你是我存在的意义 |
| [12:19] | and I think we should stay… | 我们应该留… |
| [12:20] | No, stop, Vicky. They figured it out. | 行了 别演了 薇琪 他们识破了 |
| [12:25] | – They… – They know this is the Bad Place. | -他们… -他们知道这里是「恶地」了 |
| [12:28] | Eleanor figured it out. | 埃莉诺发现了真相 |
| [12:33] | Man! | 不是吧 |
| [12:34] | This was supposed to be my big moment. | 这本该是我大放异彩的时刻 |
| [12:36] | I just rehearsed that speech for, like, three hours. | 我花了三个小时排练这段台词啊 |
| [12:39] | Damn it, Eleanor, you are the worst, | 可恶 埃莉诺 你最讨人厌了 |
| [12:42] | and you can all suck it. | 你们都忍受地狱吧 |
| [12:47] | Do you remember what I told you | 你记得当初 |
| [12:47] | when you predicted you could do this for 1,000 years? | 你预测说你能搞一千年 我怎么说的吗 |
| [12:52] | The time has come to innovate. | 创新时代来临了 |
| [12:55] | The human afterlife can be more fun. | 「死后世界」可以更有趣 |
| [13:01] | For us, obviously, not for the people we’re torturing. | 当然是带给我们乐趣 而不是我们折磨的人 |
| [13:05] | Who cares about those dummies? | 谁在乎那些蠢货呢 |
| [13:08] | I present to you the perfect recipe for my proposed experiment. | 我为这项试验准备了完美的人选搭配 |
| [13:12] | Four people, perfectly suited to make each other miserable. | 四个人 天生就是彼此之间的噩梦 |
| [13:17] | I am going to design an afterlife | 我要设计一个「死后世界」 |
| [13:20] | where they torture each other. | 让他们折磨彼此 |
| [13:23] | We’ve tried this. | 我们试过了 |
| [13:24] | Humans are very reticent to torture each other. | 人类不太愿意折磨彼此 |
| [13:26] | Even getting them to do simple things | 即便是简单的事 |
| [13:28] | like pulling out each other’s teeth is like… | 例如 彼此拔牙就好像… |
| [13:32] | I can’t think of the right analogy. | 我想不出合适的比喻了 |
| [13:34] | What makes you think that you can get them to do this? | 你凭什么觉得你能做到呢 |
| [13:36] | Because they won’t even know that they are doing it. | 因为他们折磨彼此时 还蒙在鼓里 |
| [13:39] | I’m going to make them think that they are in the good place, | 我要让他们误以为自己来到了「善地」 |
| [13:43] | and to make sure that they drive each other insane, | 为了确保他们会逼疯彼此 |
| [13:46] | I will be there, posing as a good place architect. | 我会作为「善地建筑师」亲自过去 |
| [13:52] | I even stole a good place Janet we can use. | 我还偷了「善地」的珍妮特来使用 |
| [13:56] | Look, we can just send them all | 可以把他们推进火坑 |
| [13:57] | to the hot spike pits with the lava and the bees | 让他们饱受岩浆灼热与蜜蜂叮蛰之苦 |
| [14:00] | and the lightning that tears off their flesh. | 以及用闪电将他们四分五裂 |
| [14:02] | Let’s try something new. | 但来点新鲜的吧 |
| [14:04] | I cannot predict everything that’s gonna happen, | 我无法预测事情的走向 |
| [14:07] | but we’ll improvise. | 但让我们见招拆招吧 |
| [14:08] | We’ll be on our toes. | 我们会玩得不亦乐乎 |
| [14:10] | I think that we can get them to torture each other… | 我觉得我们能让他们彼此折磨 |
| [14:14] | for 1,000 years. | 一千年吧 |
| [14:16] | I think you’d be lucky to get six months | 我觉得你这个小把戏 |
| [14:19] | out of this insane gambit. | 能坚持半年就不错了 |
| [14:22] | But take me through it. | 但详细跟我说说 |
| [14:24] | How would this work, exactly? | 这要怎么操作 |
| [14:26] | Yes, all right, so… | 好 好 |
| [14:29] | This is a 14 million-point plan. | 这是一千四百万点计划 |
| [14:34] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [14:35] | I thought we reserved the conference room. | 不是我们预订了会议室吗 |
| [14:37] | No, Todd, we have it until 3:00. | 不是 托德 三点之前都归我们 |
| [14:39] | Sorry. Sorry, everyone. | 抱歉打扰了 |
| [14:41] | So, everyone else in this neighborhood… | 这么说 这里的居民… |
| [14:44] | Except for you four, | 除了你们四个 |
| [14:45] | everyone in this neighborhood is one of us. | 所有的居民都是我们的人 |
| [14:49] | After I came up with everyone’s characters, | 我安排好大家的人设之后 |
| [14:51] | we’d just create fun scenarios designed to torture you. | 我们就变着法子 创造情境来折磨你们 |
| [14:55] | How can I be over it? | 我怎么能翻篇儿 |
| [14:56] | We haven’t discussed it or even spoken for days. | 我们都好几天没说过话了 |
| [14:59] | Well, it sounds like you’ve had | 听起来你是过了一个 |
| [14:59] | a really nice vacation from your full-time job. | 没有「全职大麻烦」的假期啊 |
| [15:03] | Get your story straight. | 把话给我讲清楚 |
| [15:05] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [15:06] | They’re at each other’s throats already. | 他们吵得不可开交了 |
| [15:08] | This should put them over the top. | 这会让他们更痛苦 |
| [15:09] | Ed, you play Bart, a former private eye. | 埃德 你扮演巴特 生前是个私家侦探 |
| [15:12] | Tracy, you’re his soul mate, | 特雷西 你是他的灵魂伴侣 |
| [15:14] | Nina… A marriage counselor. | 名叫妮娜 婚姻咨询师 |
| [15:17] | Maybe we can get them to swing with us. | 我们还可以跟他们玩换妻游戏啊 |
| [15:20] | That’s perfect, perfect! | 这招太绝了 太绝了 |
| [15:24] | Hey, guys? It’s Michael! | 有人吗 我是迈克尔 |
| [15:27] | That was really a fun time. | 那段时间太好玩了 |
| [15:29] | Then it all started to go off the rails. | 然后就彻底脱离剧本了 |
| [15:33] | When I confessed. | 因为我认错了 |
| [15:35] | You had no idea I was gonna do that, | 你完全没想到我会那么做 |
| [15:37] | because honestly, I had no idea I was gonna do that. | 因为说实话 我也没想到我会那么做 |
| [15:40] | Yeah, that came out of nowhere. | 没错 让我们没有一丝丝防备啊 |
| [15:42] | I mean, after that it was just a crazy scramble for all of us. | 这之后 我们都乱了阵脚了 |
| [15:46] | You know, I definitely underestimated how effective Chidi was gonna be, | 我实在小看奇迪对你的影响了 |
| [15:50] | teaching you to be good, | 真把你教好了 |
| [15:52] | and obviously, we didn’t anticipate | 我们自然也没料到 |
| [15:54] | that Janet would fall in love with Jason. | 珍妮特会爱上杰森 |
| [15:56] | Hang on. That part is real. | 等下 这事是真的啊 |
| [15:59] | Yeah. Janet isn’t one of us. | 是啊 珍妮特不是我们的人 |
| [16:01] | No, she’s sort of a… foundational mainframe | 她就是基本主机系统 |
| [16:04] | for all of the neighborhoods, good and bad. | 所有街区都一台 「善恶两地」皆有 |
| [16:07] | And apparently, this Janet is in love with Jason. | 而显然 这个珍妮特爱上了杰森 |
| [16:10] | I mean… What a world, huh? | 真是彻底醉了 |
| [16:13] | Wait, I don’t get something. | 慢着 我不懂 |
| [16:14] | I know why Jason and I were sent here, but why Tahani? | 我知道我和杰森该来「恶地」 但塔哈妮呢 |
| [16:18] | Yeah. Didn’t you raise, like, $1,000 for charity, or whatever? | 就是 你不是为慈善机构募得了一千多万吗 |
| [16:23] | $60 billion, actually, so. | 其实是六百亿 |
| [16:30] | But it didn’t matter… | 但没用… |
| [16:32] | Because my motivations were corrupt. | 因为我的初衷很自私 |
| [16:36] | I didn’t care about helping the people I raised the money for. | 我根本不在乎那些需要帮助的人 |
| [16:40] | I just wanted to prove my parents wrong, | 我就是想证明我父母错了 |
| [16:42] | stick it to my sister, | 跟我姐斗气 |
| [16:44] | get fame and attention. | 获得声名而已 |
| [16:46] | My only real goal | 我真正的目的 |
| [16:47] | was to snog Ryan gosling at the Met Ball. | 就只想在时尚盛典上与瑞恩·高斯林亲热 |
| [16:50] | Which I did. | 也确实亲热了 |
| [16:53] | Couple of times, actually. | 还好几次呢 |
| [16:54] | But wait, why is Chidi here? | 那为什么奇迪会来这里啊 |
| [16:56] | Well… | 这事… |
| [16:58] | There’s something you don’t know about me. | 你们不了解我的全部 |
| [17:01] | I read an article saying that | 我看过一篇文章说 |
| [17:03] | growing almonds was bad for the environment, | 种植杏仁 有害坏境 |
| [17:05] | and yet I continued to use almond milk in my coffee… | 但我还一直往咖啡里加杏仁牛奶… |
| [17:09] | No, dingus! | 才不是啊 呆子 |
| [17:11] | You hurt everyone in your life | 你的顽固与优柔寡断 |
| [17:13] | with your rigidity and your indecisiveness. | 伤害了你生活中的每一个人 |
| [17:19] | Fork! | 他喵的 |
| [17:21] | You’re right. | 你说对了 |
| [17:23] | Every friend, every girlfriend was driven nuts | 每一个朋友 每一任女友都被我逼疯过 |
| [17:26] | because I couldn’t do anything. | 因为我无法做选择 |
| [17:28] | I missed my mom’s back surgery | 我错过了我妈的背部手术 |
| [17:30] | because I had already promised my landlord’s nephew | 因为我已经答应了房东的侄子 |
| [17:33] | that I would help him figure out his new phone. | 教他如何使用新手机 |
| [17:36] | I made everyone miserable. | 我给所有人带来了痛苦 |
| [17:38] | I mean, all this hard work, all the planning, | 花了这么多心思 精心谋划 |
| [17:40] | all for nothing. | 全都泡汤了 |
| [17:43] | This really sucks. | 真让人不爽 |
| [17:44] | No, it doesn’t. | 才不是 |
| [17:46] | This is wonderful. | 这太棒了 |
| [17:48] | You saw us all on earth… | 你了解生前的我们 |
| [17:51] | a selfish ass, an idiot DJ, a tortured academic, | 一个自私鬼 一个缺心眼DJ 一个饱受煎熬的学者 |
| [17:55] | a hot, rich fraud with legs for days… | 一个拥有颜值与美腿的虚伪千金 |
| [18:00] | side note, I might legit be into Tahani. | 题外话 我好像真喜欢上塔哈妮了 |
| [18:03] | But that’s for another time. | 这不是重点 |
| [18:05] | You thought we would torture each other, | 你原以为我们会彼此折磨 |
| [18:08] | and we did for a little, | 我们确实让你得逞了一段时间 |
| [18:10] | but we also took care of each other. | 但我们还彼此照应 |
| [18:12] | We improved each other, | 我们让彼此变好了 |
| [18:14] | and the four of us became a team. | 我们四个团结一心了 |
| [18:16] | So, the only thing you succeeded in doing | 所以你只做成功了一件事 |
| [18:20] | was bringing us all together. | 那就是让我团结起来了 |
| [18:24] | Eleanor. That’s it! | 埃莉诺 我想到了 |
| [18:27] | My big mistake was bringing you all together, | 我最大的错误就是 让你们都待在一起 |
| [18:31] | having you be soul mates living next to each other. | 将你们配成灵魂伴侣 以及邻居 |
| [18:34] | Next time, I’ll spread you out so it’s more of a slow burn. | 下一次 我会将你们分开 慢慢折磨 |
| [18:38] | – Next time? – Yeah. | -下一次 -是啊 |
| [18:40] | Yeah, I’m gonna erase your memories, | 我会消除你们的记忆 |
| [18:41] | you know, make a few changes and start over again. | 做些改动 再重新来一次 |
| [18:44] | Hopefully. Just gotta get the boss man to sign off. | 希望老大能同意吧 |
| [18:47] | Wish me luck. | 祝我好运吧 |
| [19:04] | Guys, we need a plan. Quick. | 各位 得赶紧想个招 |
| [19:06] | Tahani, anything? | 塔哈妮 有点子吗 |
| [19:08] | Chidi, I need ya. You’re the smart one. | 奇迪 想想吧 你在这里最聪明 |
| [19:10] | I-I can’t. I-I can’t. | 我想不到 没法子 |
| [19:12] | – Jason? – What? What’s up? | -杰森 -怎么了 什么事 |
| [19:16] | What do you say? Take two, huh? | 再来一场 意下如何 |
| [19:17] | I don’t know. | 说不好 |
| [19:19] | I mean, what is this? All this work for four people. | 搞什么啊 大费周章 就为了四个人 |
| [19:22] | Look, for a first attempt it was actually very promising. | 第一次试验 有这样的结果很有前景啊 |
| [19:25] | Let me…let me just tinker a little, try again. | 让我稍加改动 再来一次 |
| [19:29] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [19:31] | But you’re way out on a limb here, Mike. | 但你这是背水一战了 迈克 |
| [19:33] | If this thing goes sideways again, you are done. | 如果这次再脱离剧本 你就完蛋了 |
| [19:38] | Guys, he is going to erase our memories at any second | 各位 他马上就要消除我们的记忆了 |
| [19:40] | and all of this will have been for nothing. | 我们经历的一切都白费了 |
| [19:43] | You’re useless! | 你们真没用啊 |
| [19:47] | What do I write? What do I write? | 该写什么 该写什么呢 |
| [19:49] | Come on, brain. | 灵光快闪现吧 |
| [19:55] | Janet? | 珍妮特 |
| [19:57] | You can’t eat anything, right? | 你什么都能吃吧 |
| [19:59] | – Correct. – Open up. | -对 -张嘴 |
| [20:01] | All right, let’s try again, shall we? | 好吧 我们再来一次 |
| [20:04] | You know what, bro? Do your worst. | 行 小迈迈 放马过来吧 |
| [20:06] | We figured it out once, we can do it again, | 我们识破了一次 就能识破第二次 |
| [20:09] | because you know what, Michael? | 因为你知道吗 迈克尔 |
| [20:12] | Ya bas… | 你不上档… |
| [20:20] | 欢迎 一切都很棒 | |
| [20:25] | Eleanor, come on in. | 埃莉诺 进来吧 |
| [20:29] | You, Eleanor shellstrop, are dead. | 你 埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普 已经去世了 |
| [20:32] | Cool. | 了解 |
| [20:37] | You know the way you feel when you see | 你知道当你看到 |
| [20:39] | a chimpanzee and a baby tiger who’ve become friends? | 猩猩和老虎宝宝成为朋友的感觉吧 |
| [20:43] | That’s how you’re going to feel every day. | 你以后每一天都会是这种心情 |
| [20:50] | Eleanor? I’m Chris Baker. | 埃莉诺 我是克里斯·贝克尔 |
| [20:53] | I’m your soul mate. | 我是你的灵魂伴侣 |
| [20:55] | Cool. Bring it in, man. | 真棒 来抱一下吧 |
| [20:58] | So where are you from, Chris? | 你是哪里人 克里斯 |
| [21:00] | I’m from Teaneck, New Jersey, | 我来自新泽西州提尼克市 |
| [21:02] | and I was a mailman. | 我是个邮差 |
| [21:04] | Really? | 真的啊 |
| [21:08] | Chris, you’ll stand by me no matter what, right? | 克里斯 不管发生什么 你都会帮我吧 |
| [21:11] | Hold that thought. Is it okay if I go work out? | 等一下 我可以先去健身吗 |
| [21:14] | I love working out. I gotta stay jacked, | 我特别喜欢健身 我得保持身材 |
| [21:17] | it’s…who I am. | 我就是这样的人 |
| [21:19] | Yeah, you gotta. | 是 必须的 |
| [21:20] | Once I’m back, we’ll get to know each other. | 我回来之后 我们再了解彼此 |
| [21:23] | Great. | 真好 |
| [21:25] | See ya soon. | 回见 |
| [21:28] | Hi there. | 你好 |
| [21:30] | – Who are you? – I’m Janet. | -你是谁 -我是珍妮特 |
| [21:31] | I think this is yours. | 这应该是你的 |
| [21:32] | After I was rebooted, I found it in my mouth. | 我被重启后 我在嘴里发现了这个 |
| [21:35] | What? | 什么 |
| [21:45] | What the fork is a “Chidi”? | 他喵的「奇迪」是什么东西 |
| [21:48] | Why can’t I say “Fork”? | 我怎么说不出「他喵的」了 |