| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | We’re on the same page. | 我们的立场一致 |
| [00:01] | I wanna team up with you guys. | 我想换队友 跟你们组队 |
| [00:03] | What? Why? You do? What? | 啥 为什么 是吗 不是吧 |
| [00:06] | I’m in a bit of a bind and I could use some backup. | 我陷入困境了 需要队友支援 |
| [00:09] | So, what do you say? | 你们意下如何 |
| [00:10] | New best friends? | 结成新队友呗 |
| [00:13] | You wanna team up? | 你想跟我们结盟 |
| [00:15] | You’ve been torturing us and lying about it. | 你一直折磨我们 欺骗我们 |
| [00:17] | Let’s not get all caught up on who lied to who. | 我们就不要太在意”谁骗谁 |
| [00:19] | Which one of us created an entire fake reality | 谁创造出一个虚假的现实 |
| [00:23] | in order to cause eternal misery for the others. | 只为永世折磨别人”这种细节了 |
| [00:26] | That’s ancient history. | 这都是”陈年往事”了 |
| [00:28] | It was happening until 20 seconds ago. | 20秒之前的事 你是徒手断片儿啊 |
| [00:29] | The point is that… | 重点是 |
| [00:32] | circumstances have changed. | 情况有所不同了 |
| [00:34] | And now, all of us teaming up is our best option. | 目前 我们结盟是最好的选择 |
| [00:37] | I love being on teams. | 我喜欢结盟 |
| [00:39] | We need a team name. | 我们得起个队名 |
| [00:41] | The Bobcats. | “山猫队”[NBA球队] |
| [00:42] | – Great. – Slow down, ding dong. | -很棒 -先别激动 “缺心眼儿” |
| [00:44] | He wouldn’t offer us a deal for no reason. | 他才不会无缘由跟我们组队呢 |
| [00:47] | He needs us. | 他需要我们 |
| [00:49] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [00:49] | Because, as you said, | 因为如你所说 |
| [00:51] | you keep beating me. | 你们一直完虐我 |
| [00:53] | Look, I built this neighborhood | 我建立这个地方 |
| [00:55] | as a way to torture the four of you… psychologically… | 是为了精神上折磨你们四个 |
| [00:59] | for thousands of years. | 折磨上千年 |
| [01:01] | And you keep figuring it out | 而你不断识破骗局 |
| [01:03] | and taking all the fun out of it. | 所有乐趣都被你给毁了 |
| [01:05] | Fun? | 乐趣 |
| [01:06] | Today, there was a new development that really chapped my nips. | 今天 又出来了棘手的新情况 |
| [01:10] | One of my employees is blackmailing me. | 我被手下的一个员工要挟了 |
| [01:12] | Vicky. | 薇琪 |
| [01:14] | She runs the clam chowder place in the main square. | 她在中央广场开了一家蛤蜊汤馆 |
| [01:17] | A Little Bit Chowder Now. | “来点海鲜杂烩汤”馆 |
| [01:18] | The place with the… the chowder fountain. | 杂烩汤泉那边吧 |
| [01:20] | No, that’s Pump Up the Clam. | 不 那家是”蛤蜊补气”馆 |
| [01:22] | A Little Bit Chowder Now has the lazy river of chowder. | “来点海鲜杂烩汤”馆有一个缓缓流入的杂烩河 |
| [01:25] | How did we ever think this was the Good Place? | 我们怎么会觉得这里是”善地”啊 |
| [01:27] | Vicky thinks that she can run this neighborhood better than I can. | 薇琪觉得她比我更能胜任这份工作 |
| [01:31] | And she wants to start her version in 30 minutes. | 三十分钟后 她想开始导演她的剧本 |
| [01:35] | I am supposed to reboot you, | 我本该重启你们 |
| [01:36] | erase your memory and turn control over to her. | 消除你们的记忆 将大权移交给她 |
| [01:40] | How are we supposed to team up with you | 如果我们的记忆被消除了 |
| [01:42] | if you wipe our memories again? | 我们还怎么跟你结盟 |
| [01:43] | Easy. I’m not going to. | 放心 我不会这么做 |
| [01:46] | You’re going to act like you’ve been rebooted | 你们要装出一副被重启的样子 |
| [01:48] | and pretend that Vicky and the others are torturing you. | 假装被薇琪和其他人折磨 |
| [01:51] | But then, on your own time, | 但是私下里 |
| [01:53] | in private, you can study ethics, ogle mailmen, | 你们可以学习伦理道德 花痴性感邮递员 |
| [01:57] | do whatever you want. | 随心所欲 |
| [01:58] | Can I play iPad? | 我能玩iPad吗 |
| [01:59] | – Sure you can, buddy. – Yes. | -当然可以了 兄弟 -棒哎 |
| [02:01] | Guys, there’s no debate here. | 各位 这都无需争论了 |
| [02:03] | My boss gave me two chances to make this work. | 我上司给了我两次机会做成这事 |
| [02:06] | Suffice to say, | 这么说吧 |
| [02:07] | I tried more than two times. | 我不止导演了两场 |
| [02:10] | If he finds out, we’re all in hot water. | 如果被他发现 我们就都要”被开水烫”了 |
| [02:13] | Literally. They will boil us. | 不是比喻 是真会被”煮了” |
| [02:16] | We will be the main ingredient in a chowder of pain. | 我们就会被熬制成”痛苦浓汤”了 |
| [02:21] | Human meeting. Bedroom. Now. | 全体人类 卧室开会 |
| [02:25] | Yeah, that no stair thing, | 没有阶梯这事 |
| [02:28] | that was part of the torture. | 是折磨人的方式之一 |
| [02:30] | Let me… | 让我… |
| [02:33] | Son of a bench. | 我顶你个喵啊 |
| [02:41] | Anyone have any ideas? | 大家有什么想法 |
| [02:43] | You know, believe it or not, | 说出来你们都不信 |
| [02:44] | I actually found myself in a very similar situation a few years ago, | 我几年前经历过类似的事 |
| [02:46] | except in that instance, | 只是那次 |
| [02:47] | Michael was Javier Bardem | 迈克尔的角色是哈维尔·巴登 |
| [02:49] | and the Bad Place was Vanessa Redgrave’s panic room. | 而地点是瓦妮莎·雷德格瑞夫的避难室 |
| [02:51] | Okay, stop talking. | 行了 你别说话了 |
| [02:53] | Do not talk again for 100 hours. | 一百个小时 不准再说话 |
| [02:55] | What do we do? | 我们怎么办 |
| [02:56] | We team up with Michael. | 我们跟迈克尔结盟 |
| [02:58] | Okay, hot take, but I like your confidence. | 好 很冒险 但我欣赏你的自信 |
| [03:01] | – Tell me why. – He has a bow tie. | -说说原因 -他戴了领结 |
| [03:04] | No. | 天 |
| [03:04] | I always trust dudes in bow ties. | 我一直都相信戴领结的人 |
| [03:06] | Once, this guy in a bow tie came up to me | 有一次 一个戴领结的家伙 |
| [03:08] | at the gun range in a Jacksonville bus station | 在杰克逊维尔市靶场的公交站找上了我 |
| [03:10] | and said he’d give me $600 | 他说他会给我六百块 |
| [03:12] | if I put these weird turtles in my duffle bag | 只要我把这些海龟装进我的行李袋 |
| [03:14] | and brought them to Daytona Beach. | 带到代托纳海滩 |
| [03:16] | So I hotwired a swamp boat to Daytona | 于是我偷了辆浅水船去了代托纳 |
| [03:19] | and the guy paid me the $600. | 那个人就给了我六百块 |
| [03:21] | My point is, you always trust dudes in bow ties. | 我的重点是 戴领结的人 绝对信得过 |
| [03:28] | Look, Michael’s a liar. | 迈克尔是个骗子 |
| [03:30] | I know liars. | 我了解骗子 |
| [03:31] | It was my job to trick people into buying fake medicine | 我生前的工作就是骗人买假药 |
| [03:33] | and I was the top salesperson seven years in a row. | 我连续七年都是最佳销售王 |
| [03:36] | I thought you only worked there five years. | 你不是只在那家公司干了五年吗 |
| [03:37] | Proves my point! | 所以说姐骗术高啊 |
| [03:38] | This is a trick. | 这是个骗局 |
| [03:40] | – There’s no way we trust him. – I agree. | -我们决不能信他 -同意 |
| [03:42] | He could be lying about this whole thing. | 这整件事都可能是他的骗局 |
| [03:43] | For all we know, you three are in the Bad Place | 根据我们所知 你们三个在”恶地” |
| [03:45] | and I’m up in the Good Place, | 而我在”善地” |
| [03:47] | where I belong, being tested. | 我真正的归属 接受考验 |
| [03:48] | – How would that even… – I don’t know, but it’s possible. | -这怎么可能… -不知道 但有可能啊 |
| [03:51] | Before we do anything, | 我们行动之前 |
| [03:53] | we need more information. | 需要掌握更多信息 |
| [03:55] | We should ask him every question we can think of. | 我们该问他一下所有能想到的问题 |
| [03:57] | – Yes. – Yes, we shall grill him like the flank of a Niberian piglet. | -对 -我们可以像烤小猪仔一样拷问他 |
| [04:00] | I’m sorry, has it been 100 hours? | 谁让你说话了 到一百小时了吗 |
| [04:05] | Okay, man. We got questions. | 好了 我们有几个问题 |
| [04:07] | First off, how can we possibly trust you? | 首先 我们怎么能信任你呢 |
| [04:10] | You can’t. But you have to. | 没法信任 但你们不得如此 |
| [04:12] | Logically, you shouldn’t but you have no choice. | 逻辑上 你们不该信我 但你们别无选择 |
| [04:14] | I mean, I wouldn’t, if I were you. | 如果我是你们 我就不会信 |
| [04:16] | It’s a crazy thing to do. | 这么做太疯狂了 |
| [04:17] | But you gotta. | 但你们必须如此 |
| [04:18] | What happens if we don’t? | 如果我们不这么做呢 |
| [04:19] | Most likely, I reboot you once more, | 那样 我再重启你们一次 |
| [04:22] | you figure it out again, | 你们再一次识破 |
| [04:23] | Vicky tells my boss, | 薇琪向我上司举报我 |
| [04:25] | he shuts everything down. | 他叫停一切 |
| [04:26] | I get punished, | 我因此受罚 |
| [04:28] | you end up spending the rest of eternity in the real Bad Place, | 你们最终将在真正的”恶地”永世受煎熬 |
| [04:32] | up to your necks in a volcano full of scorpions. | 待在全是蝎子的火山里受尽折磨 |
| [04:35] | I’ll tell you what I want to know right now | 我们进行下一步之前 |
| [04:37] | before we go any further. | 我想知道一件事 |
| [04:39] | Did the Jacksonville Jaguars | 杰克逊维尔美洲虎队 |
| [04:40] | win the Super Bowl last year? | 去年赢了超级碗吗 |
| [04:45] | You’re serious. No. | 你不是说笑啊 没有 |
| [04:47] | Will they ever win the Super Bowl? | 他们会赢下超级碗吗 |
| [04:48] | Jason, I can’t predict the future. | 杰森 我无法预知未来 |
| [04:51] | But no. They won’t. | 但是不能 他们赢不了 |
| [04:53] | Okay, well I just have, like, 12 more Jaguar questions… | 好吧 关于美洲虎队 我还有12个问题… |
| [04:55] | No, you don’t. | 行了 别问了 |
| [04:56] | – Hey, Janet? – Hi, there. | -珍妮特 -你好 |
| [04:57] | Do you have something shiny Jason can play with? | 有什么酷炫的小玩意给杰森玩儿 |
| [05:02] | How many different versions of this place have we been through? | 我们现在经历过多少场了 |
| [05:06] | Let’s see. 802. | 来瞧瞧 802场 |
| [05:08] | The longest one was 11 months. | 最长的一场持续了11个月 |
| [05:11] | This current one has only been going for one week. | 目前这场只持续了一周 |
| [05:14] | Boy, you guys barely know each other. | 天 你们才刚认识彼此 |
| [05:16] | It’s gonna make this tough. | 这下彼此配合要难了 |
| [05:17] | What’s that super tiny line? | 那条超短的小细线是什么 |
| [05:19] | That’s the shortest one, eight seconds. | 那是最短的一次 八秒 |
| [05:21] | It was a butt reboot. | 我误按了 |
| [05:22] | I sat on the activator by mistake. | 我不小心坐到了激活器上 |
| [05:24] | Michael, was I also rebooted 802 times? | 迈克尔 我也同样被重启了802次吗 |
| [05:27] | Yes. Why? | 是 问这个干啥 |
| [05:29] | Every time a Janet is rebooted, | “珍妮特”每次被重启 |
| [05:31] | she increases her social awareness and abilities. | 她的社会认知与社交技能就会被提升 |
| [05:34] | I might be the most advanced Janet in the universe. | 我也许是全宇宙最先进的”珍妮特”了 |
| [05:39] | So Janet isn’t with you. | 珍妮特跟你们不是一伙儿 |
| [05:41] | No. | 不是 |
| [05:42] | There has to be a Janet in every neighborhood, | 每个街区都有一个珍妮特 |
| [05:45] | good and bad. | 善恶两地都有 |
| [05:46] | This one is an actual Good Place Janet | 这个是”善地”的珍妮特 |
| [05:48] | that I stole to help sell the ruse. | 我偷来用于设计骗局 |
| [05:50] | I guess it didn’t work, though. | 但没成功啊 |
| [05:51] | Because you keep failing. | 因为你一直失败 |
| [05:53] | – Yes, thank you. – You’re welcome. | -是 “过奖” -不客气 |
| [05:55] | If you’re not human, why do you look like us? | 如果你不是人类 为什么长得跟我们一样 |
| [05:58] | Everyone in the Bad Place Bureau of Human Affairs | “恶地”人类事务局的每一个人 |
| [06:01] | gets randomly assigned a human body | 都会被随机配一副人类身体 |
| [06:03] | so we can get the feel of how best to torture you. | 这样能更好地掌握折磨人类之道 |
| [06:07] | I gotta say, | 我得说 |
| [06:07] | it took me a long time to get used to the hanging bits. | 我花了很久才适应这具身体”吊着的部分” |
| [06:10] | Gross. | 受不了 |
| [06:11] | Get your mind out of the gutter, Eleanor. | 别想得那么污 埃莉诺 |
| [06:13] | I was talking about my testicles. | 我是说我的睾丸 |
| [06:15] | Mindy St. Clair’s is fake, I bet. | 明迪·圣克莱尔肯定也是假的了 |
| [06:17] | No, the Medium Place is real. | 不 中间地带确实存在 |
| [06:19] | So annoying how you managed to slip away from me all those times. | 你这么多次成功溜过去 真是太讨厌了 |
| [06:23] | Why even tell us about any real thing? | 你又何必跟我们说真实的事呢 |
| [06:26] | Why not just lie about all of it? | 全说谎言不就行了吗 |
| [06:27] | Lies are always more convincing | 带点真实性的谎言 |
| [06:29] | when they’re closer to the truth. | 才更可信 |
| [06:30] | That’s true. | 没错 |
| [06:31] | I crashed a lot of open bar weddings as Eileen Shelbourne. | 我假装艾琳·谢尔伯恩去了很多婚礼蹭酒喝 |
| [06:34] | Even dated a groomsman for a few months. | 还跟一个伴郎交往了几个月 |
| [06:36] | So I had to keep the name, | 我只能用假名 |
| [06:37] | and he got Eileen tattooed on his neck. | 他后来把”艾琳” 文在脖子上了 |
| [06:40] | Seriously?! | 我也是醉了 |
| [06:41] | How are she and I in the same place? | 我死后怎么会跟她一个下场啊 |
| [06:43] | Get over yourself. | 别矫情了 |
| [06:44] | Trust me, don’t trust me, it doesn’t matter. | 信我 别信我 都无所谓了 |
| [06:46] | We’re running out of time, | 我们没时间了 |
| [06:48] | and I’m your only option. | 我是你们唯一的选择 |
| [06:49] | We’re running out of time | 我们没时间了 |
| [06:51] | and I’m your only option? | 我是你唯一的选择 |
| [06:53] | A lot of guys your age said that to me just as the bar was about to close. | 很多你这个年纪的男人在酒吧打烊时 跟我说这句话 |
| [06:58] | But I never settled for them. | 但我从没屈就于他们 |
| [06:59] | Because my ex- boyfriend lived nearby, | 因为我前男友住在附近 |
| [07:02] | he was obsessed with me and he never slept | 他对我情有独钟 而且他从来不睡觉 |
| [07:04] | because he was addicted to Adderall. | 因为他对”阿得拉”[兴奋剂]上瘾 |
| [07:06] | There is always another option. | 总是有其他选择 |
| [07:08] | You guys do whatever you want. | 你们想怎样都行 |
| [07:10] | – I’m out. – No! | -我撤了 -不行 |
| [07:11] | My plan only works if all four of you are on board. | 只有你们四个都入伙 我的计策才能成功 |
| [07:15] | Then you better get cracking on a new plan, pally, | 那你得赶紧想个新计策啊 亲 |
| [07:17] | because so far, | 因为目前为止 |
| [07:18] | I haven’t heard a single good reason why I should help you. | 我可没听到任何一个要帮你的好理由 |
| [07:21] | All right, how about this? | 好吧 这样吧 |
| [07:22] | You help me trick Vicky and all those other goons, | 你们帮我骗薇琪和那些蠢货们 |
| [07:27] | I can get you to the real Good Place. | 我带你们去真正的”善地” |
| [07:33] | There’s a way to get to the real Good place. | 有通往”善地”的方法吗 |
| [07:36] | It’s complicated. | 这事不简单 |
| [07:37] | It may take a while to arrange… | 需要一些时间安排… |
| [07:39] | especially since I’ll have to do it in secret… | 特别是我还得瞒着别人进行… |
| [07:41] | but yes, yes, | 但确实有 |
| [07:41] | there is a potential method of transportation. | 有一个潜在的传送方法 |
| [07:45] | Wait, is it nice? | 等下 舒适吗 |
| [07:46] | Is there a business class? | 有商务舱吗 |
| [07:48] | Can I pre-board? | 我能提前登机吗 |
| [07:49] | Yeah, let’s not worry about that right now. | 现在不是担心这种事的时候 |
| [07:51] | I can get us there. | 我可以带大家一起过去 |
| [07:52] | Us? | 我们一起 |
| [07:53] | You, Mr. Diabolical Torture Guy | 你 骨灰级大魔头 |
| [07:56] | are gonna try to join us in the Good Place? | 要跟我们一起去”善地” |
| [07:59] | Yeah, if I stay in the Bad Place, I’m doomed. | 对 如果我待在”恶地” 我就死定了 |
| [08:02] | But if I rescue four | 但如果我拯救了 |
| [08:04] | pitiful, foul-smelling humans from eternal damnation… | 四个可怜的臭人类 免于万劫不复 |
| [08:08] | hit ’em with the big puppy dog eyes. | 再”影帝”上身 来一段苦情戏 |
| [08:10] | Please, sir, take pity on me, I’ve changed… | 求你了 可怜一下我吧 我洗心革面了 |
| [08:12] | and all that crap, | 总之装一下白莲花 |
| [08:14] | maybe I can earn a spot, too. | 也许他们也会收留我 |
| [08:16] | We didn’t deserve the Good Place based on our time on Earth. | 我们生前的所为 没能让我们升入”善地” |
| [08:19] | Will they even let us stay? | 他们怎么会同意我们留下 |
| [08:20] | I gotta be honest, I have no idea. | 实话实话 我也不知道 |
| [08:21] | But at least if you help me fool Vicky, | 但至少你们帮我骗薇琪 |
| [08:24] | your brains don’t get erased every two weeks. | 你们就不用每两周被清除一次记忆 |
| [08:30] | Okay, all humans who have not already been suckered by Michael, | 好吧 没中”迈克尔圈套”的人类 |
| [08:33] | another team meeting. | 再开一次会 |
| [08:35] | This is definitely a trap. | 这绝对是个陷阱 |
| [08:37] | We figured out his game every time | 我们每次都能识破他的骗局 |
| [08:39] | and now he’s just trying a new way to mess with us. | 他如今只是想新招来对付我们 |
| [08:41] | Teaming up with a demon is insane. | 跟恶魔结盟就是没脑子啊 |
| [08:44] | Maybe. | 也许吧 |
| [08:46] | But I think we have to do it. | 但我们应该同意 |
| [08:47] | Are you forking kidding me right now? | 你喵的跟我闹呢 |
| [08:49] | You take a half an hour to pick out a turtleneck, | 你挑一件高领衫挑半个小时 |
| [08:51] | and yet this you’re sure about? | 这事就这么快落实锤了 |
| [08:52] | Okay, look, I spent my whole life trying to learn about right and wrong | 我这辈子一直想学会分辨是非黑白 |
| [08:54] | and apparently, I failed. | 显然 我失败了 |
| [08:57] | I want us to get better and I want us to stay that way. | 我想让我们做更好的自己 保持下去 |
| [08:59] | You understand that, right, Tahani? | 你能理解吧 塔哈妮 |
| [09:01] | I understand nothing. | 我什么都不理解 |
| [09:04] | Same here! | 我也是哎 |
| [09:05] | Michael, there’s been a mistake. | 迈克尔 这是个错误 |
| [09:06] | I belong in the Good Place. | 我应该去”善地” |
| [09:08] | The real one with the good people. | 真正的”善地” 跟好人待在一起 |
| [09:10] | Who do I speak to about correcting this? | 我应该找谁纠正这个错误 |
| [09:11] | Me and you’re wrong. | 找我 而你错了 |
| [09:13] | Very well. I would like to speak to your manager. | 好吧 把你们经理找来 |
| [09:16] | Listen, sweetheart, | 听着 亲爱的 |
| [09:17] | you’ve only been in this timeline for about a week. | 你在这一场只进行了一周 |
| [09:20] | So I think I’m gonna fast forward things a bit. | 所以我来帮你拉一下进度条 |
| [09:23] | There’s a very good reason why you ended up here. | 你来”恶地”的原因很充分 |
| [09:26] | You never cared about the people you were helping. | 你从来都不在乎你”帮助”的那些人 |
| [09:29] | You did it only for fame or status or to spite your family. | 你做慈善只为了虚名 地位 或做给你家人看 |
| [09:33] | That is utter tosh! | 一派胡言 |
| [09:35] | I had my flaws, just like anyone else, | 人无完人 我也有缺点 |
| [09:36] | but I raised billions for charity. | 但我募集了几十亿善款 |
| [09:39] | I was a good person | 我是个好人 |
| [09:40] | and I defy you or anyone else to prove otherwise. | 我倒要看看你或其他人怎么证明我不是大善人 |
| [09:44] | You know, in all the reboots, | 这么多次重启之中 |
| [09:45] | I never showed you how you died. | 我都没给你展示过你是怎么死的 |
| [09:47] | I was saving it in case | 我一直留着这一手 |
| [09:48] | I ever needed to really make you miserable. | 等我哪天想让你更加痛苦时 当杀手锏用 |
| [09:50] | But it’s hilarious. | 你的死法特别好笑 |
| [09:52] | Of course, I mean sad. | 当然了 很悲伤啦 |
| [09:54] | But it might help you come to grips with who you really were. | 但这也许能帮你了解你的本质 |
| [09:57] | Do you want to remember it? | 你想记起来吗 |
| [10:02] | Tahani Al-Jamil, | 塔哈妮·阿贾米尔 |
| [10:04] | social activist, philanthropist, neck model | 社会运动者 慈善家 脖模 |
| [10:06] | and now cover girl for “International Sophisticate Magazine.” | 现在还登上了《国际精英》杂志的封面人物 |
| [10:09] | – Tahani, welcome. – It’s such an honor. | -欢迎你 塔哈妮 -我很荣幸啦 |
| [10:12] | I have long dreamt of being one of the women | 我一直梦想着作为女人或游艇 |
| [10:14] | or yachts who grace your cover. | 登上贵杂志的封面 |
| [10:16] | Let’s begin with your sister, Kamilah. | 先说说你姐姐卡米拉吧 |
| [10:18] | A woman who… as you know… was offered the spot on our cover, | 一个… 如你所知 受邀登上我们杂志封面 |
| [10:21] | but turned it down. | 但一口回绝的女人 |
| [10:23] | I actually didn’t know that. | 我其实不知道这事 |
| [10:25] | Please, carry on. | 但请继续吧 |
| [10:27] | Well, next week, Kamilah will travel to Cleveland, Ohio | 下周 卡米拉将会去俄亥俄州的克利夫兰 |
| [10:29] | to become the youngest person ever | 成为”摇滚名人堂”史上 |
| [10:30] | inducted into the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame. | 最年轻的入选者 |
| [10:32] | Remarkable. | 真了不起 |
| [10:35] | Is there a question? | 没听到问题啊 |
| [10:36] | Don’t you find that remarkable? | 你不觉得这很了不起吗 |
| [10:38] | Kamilah is very impressive. | 卡米拉确实很厉害 |
| [10:41] | As you know, she released her debut album only six months ago | 你知道 她的首张专辑才发行六个月 |
| [10:44] | and yet, the critics thought | 而评论家们就觉得 |
| [10:45] | it was so brilliant that the Hall of Fame decided to waive its 25 year waiting period. | 名人堂放弃”25年以上”这个条件 非常明智 |
| [10:50] | Sadly, I will not be attending the ceremony | 很遗憾 我不能参加颁奖典礼 |
| [10:53] | because I will be in Haiti on a relief mission. | 因为我要去海地参加救灾任务 |
| [10:56] | Perhaps we should talk more about that. | 也许我们该谈谈这事 |
| [10:58] | Perhaps we should. | 是该谈呢 |
| [10:59] | But first, another question about Kamilah. | 但我得再问一个关于卡米拉的问题 |
| [11:01] | Don’t you think she and I would be friends? | 你不觉得我和她该成为朋友吗 |
| [11:04] | We have a lot in common, we are both Capricorn, | 我们有很多相同之处 我们都是摩羯座 |
| [11:06] | and we’re both only children. | 都是独生子女 |
| [11:10] | I’m sorry, I forgot about you. | 抱歉 我忘记你的存在了 |
| [11:26] | Kamilah! Congratulations. | 卡米拉 恭喜啊 |
| [11:28] | You have all the attention. Once again. | 你又一次独占了所有风头 |
| [11:31] | – Who are you? – Really? | -你是谁啊 -过分了吧 |
| [11:35] | Good Lord. Tahani! | 天呐 塔哈妮 |
| [11:38] | You’re a cocktail waitress now. | 你现在是酒吧服务员了啊 |
| [11:40] | Honestly, I think this is the right move for you. | 说实话 你转行就对了 |
| [11:42] | No, it’s just that my own sister | 我不是 只是我亲姐姐 |
| [11:44] | didn’t even deign to invite me to her little soiree. | 都没邀请我来她的社交晚宴 |
| [11:47] | So I had to weasel my way in here | 于是我不得不狡猾地混进来 |
| [11:48] | like some common… weasel. | 就像个狡猾的黄鼠狼 |
| [11:51] | I was supposed to be in Haiti being photographed helping people, | 但我本该去海地 让人拍我帮助别人的照片 |
| [11:54] | but instead I delayed my trip by a day | 但我推迟了一天行程 |
| [11:56] | to come here and tell you off. | 专门来这里告诉你一声 |
| [11:57] | No, you came to do what you always do: | 不 你是为了跟以前一样 |
| [12:00] | make a scene and embarrass yourself. | 让你自己出尽洋相 颜面尽失 |
| [12:02] | So I’m just an embarrassment to you? | 我对你来说 就是丢人现眼吗 |
| [12:04] | Is that what you think of me? | 你这样想我吗 |
| [12:06] | Honestly, I don’t really think about you. | 老实说 我很少想起你的存在 |
| [12:09] | No! | 扎心了 |
| [12:25] | I’ll bring you down! | 我要毁掉你[拉你下来] |
| [12:28] | Come on. Come on! | 下来 下来 |
| [12:30] | Come down to the ground where you belong… | 你下来吧 别装仙女… |
| [12:35] | No. | 不 |
| [12:38] | I died in Cleveland? | 我死在克利夫兰了吗 |
| [12:41] | I don’t think that should be your biggest takeaway from that story. | 你重点抓得有点跑偏啊 |
| [12:44] | Is that really all I cared about? | 我就真只在乎这个吗 |
| [12:45] | Just outshining my sister | 只为了风头盖过我姐姐 |
| [12:47] | and gaining praise and acclaim? | 只为了得到鲜花与掌声吗 |
| [12:49] | I mean, I did gain praise and acclaim. | 我确实收获了鲜花与掌声 |
| [12:52] | You know, I dare say on some occasions, | 我敢说 某些时候 |
| [12:54] | more praise and acclaim than my sister, Kamilah, so… | 收获了掌声与鲜花比我姐姐卡米拉还多… |
| [13:03] | I see. | 我反应过来了 |
| [13:05] | – God. – Come on, now. | -天呐 -好啦 好啦 |
| [13:08] | It’s not all bad. | 也不都是坏事 |
| [13:09] | Imagine you’re me | 想象你是我 |
| [13:11] | and you’re designing a torture chamber for people | 你要设计一个酷刑世界 |
| [13:13] | who think that they belong in the Good Place. | 专门折磨自以为属于”善地”的人 |
| [13:16] | I mean, you were perfect. | 你简直是最完美的人选 |
| [13:19] | But I’ve always wanted to be perfect at something… | 但我一直想成为某方面的完美人选… |
| [13:22] | I just never thought it would be the perfect stooge. | 我就是没想过会成为完美的”丑角”人选 |
| [13:25] | I want to do it. | 我入伙了 |
| [13:27] | I want to become the person I pretended to be. | 我想成为我一直假装的那个人 |
| [13:29] | I agree with Chidi. | 我同意奇迪 |
| [13:30] | We should team up with Michael | 我们该跟迈克尔结盟 |
| [13:31] | and all try to build a better Tahani. | 一起努力打造一个更棒版本的塔哈妮 |
| [13:33] | Great. Yet again, it’s everyone against Eleanor. | “真好” 又一次所有人跟埃莉诺对着干 |
| [13:37] | Because everyone except Eleanor is an idiot. | 因为除了埃莉诺 大家都是傻子 |
| [13:39] | Why am I the only person who clearly sees what’s going on here? | 为什么只有我能看透深深的套路啊 |
| [13:42] | It’s not that we don’t understand the risks, | 我们也明白这其中的风险 |
| [13:44] | we just wanna become better people | 但我们只想成为更好的人 |
| [13:45] | and this is our best chance. | 而这是我们最好的机会 |
| [13:47] | I get it. ‘Cause you’re so much better than me. | 我懂了 因为你高我一等是吧 |
| [13:50] | That’s what this is about? | 这是你的重点吗 |
| [13:52] | Hang on, don’t lash out at us just because of your innate distrust. | 打住 别因为你天生不信任别人 就打击我们 |
| [13:53] | Lash out? | 打击 |
| [13:54] | No, it’s not about who’s better. | 不 重点不是谁更好 |
| [13:56] | I have no idea what’s going on right now | 我完全看不懂现在的情况 |
| [13:58] | but everyone else is talking | 但大家都在讲话 |
| [14:00] | and I think I should too! | 我也不能落后 |
| [14:02] | What is so funny? | 你笑什么 |
| [14:04] | I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing. | 不好意思 我不该笑 |
| [14:06] | How do I explain this? | 怎么解释呢 |
| [14:07] | I’m basically an exterminator and you’re cockroaches. | 我基本上就是杀虫剂 你们就是”小强” |
| [14:13] | My job was to squish you and poison you | 我的职责就是捏死你们 毒死你们 |
| [14:16] | and yet, somehow, my very survival | 然而剧情却发展到 我的生死存亡 |
| [14:19] | now depends on you, the cockroaches, agreeing to help me. | 掌握在你们手里 靠你们这些”小强” 同意来帮我 |
| [14:23] | That’s funny. | 太可笑了 |
| [14:24] | We’re cockroaches to you? | 我们对你来说就是”小强”吗 |
| [14:26] | Yeah. Or dung beetles. | 是啊 或是屎壳郎 |
| [14:28] | I don’t know. Something small and gross | 反正就是弱小恶心的虫子 |
| [14:31] | that creeps on the ground in its own filth. | 生活在自己拉屎的肮脏之地 |
| [14:34] | Just being honest. | 我就是说句实话 |
| [14:35] | Okay, okay, okay, okay. | 冷静 冷静 |
| [14:37] | All right, forget about him. | 好了 别管他了 |
| [14:38] | Forget about him, focus on us. | 别管他了 想想我们自己 |
| [14:40] | Kant wrote it is our duty to improve ourselves. | 康德认为我们有责任让彼此变得更好 |
| [14:42] | So whatever Michael’s reasons for doing this, | 不管迈克尔是出于什么原因这么做 |
| [14:45] | he’s giving us the best chance to improve ourselves. | 他给了我们一个提升自己的机会 |
| [14:49] | Okay, I have to admit, | 好吧 我得承认 |
| [14:50] | you’re making a lot of sense right now. | 你现在这番话有道理多了 |
| [14:52] | I need to just untangle all of this. | 我就是需要理清一下思路 |
| [14:56] | Give me a minute to think about it alone. | 单独给我一分钟 让我考虑一下 |
| [14:59] | Okay. | 好 |
| [15:05] | – Janet? – Hi, there. | -珍妮特 -你好 |
| [15:07] | Call me a train. | 给我叫列火车 |
| [15:08] | Fill it to the brim with cocaine. | 车上备好可卡因 |
| [15:11] | I’m going back to Mindy St. Clair’s house. | 我要回明迪·圣克莱尔家 |
| [15:19] | – Gonna bail, huh? – No. | -打算闪人啊 -没有啊 |
| [15:23] | Why… why would you say that? | 你怎么会这么想呢 |
| [15:24] | Well, you got a bag full of clothes, | 你把衣服都装进包里了 |
| [15:26] | you stuffed a bunch of pillows and a mop in your bed | 你把枕头和拖把放进被子里 |
| [15:29] | to make it look like you’re asleep | 弄成你在睡觉的假象 |
| [15:30] | and you’re literally sneaking out the back gate. | 你还想偷偷从后门溜走 |
| [15:33] | Okay. I’m going to Mindy’s. | 好吧 我要去明迪家 |
| [15:35] | I don’t want to live forever in a boring, beige house | 我也不想永世跟一个性饥渴 有毒瘾的奇葩 |
| [15:38] | with a weird, horny cokehead, | 住在一个单调的米色房子里 |
| [15:40] | but look at what you’re asking me to do. | 但我也是出于无奈 |
| [15:42] | Make a deal with an actual devil | 你让我跟一个真正的恶魔交易 |
| [15:44] | so that I can then do homework in secret. | 好让我私下偷偷学习 |
| [15:47] | And by the way, you’re not my friends, man. | 而且 你也不是我的朋友 |
| [15:49] | We’ve known each other for, like, a week. | 我们也就认识一周吧 |
| [15:51] | You know it’s more than that. | 你明知道不止一周 |
| [15:52] | We’ve been through some version of this 800 different times. | 我们出演了八百多个不同的剧本了 |
| [15:56] | And who cares that it’s only been a week? | 谁在乎只认识了一周啊 |
| [15:59] | How long do you have to know someone | 你要认识一个人多久 |
| [16:00] | before you do the right thing? | 才会做出正确选择 |
| [16:01] | Nine weeks, minimum. | 最少九周吧 |
| [16:04] | – Okay. – Look, bro, | -无话可说 -听我说 |
| [16:05] | I don’t owe you anything. | 我不欠你什么 |
| [16:07] | I gotta do what’s right for me. | 我得为自己着想 |
| [16:11] | You can come with me if you want. | 如果你想 可以跟我一起走 |
| [16:13] | I got another mop we can put in the bed. | 我还可以在床上放一个拖把 |
| [16:15] | Good luck. | 祝你好运 |
| [16:27] | I got a couple more questions. | 我有几个问题 |
| [16:29] | Sure. Take your time. | 问吧 慢慢来 |
| [16:31] | We’re not in a hurry or anything. | 我们”又不着急” |
| [16:33] | How many times in all the reboots | 这么多次重启中 |
| [16:35] | did I ask Chidi for help, | 我找奇迪帮忙 |
| [16:36] | he refused to help me | 他没帮我多少次 |
| [16:38] | and then I had to get better on my own? | 我只能靠我自己变好 |
| [16:40] | Never. He always helped you. | 一次也没有 他总是帮你 |
| [16:41] | God. | 天 |
| [16:43] | – Really? – Yep. | -不是吧 -是的 |
| [16:44] | No matter how I set it up, | 不管我的剧本怎么写 |
| [16:46] | you found him, | 你总是找到他 |
| [16:47] | confessed you didn’t belong, | 向他坦白 你不属于”善地” |
| [16:49] | asked him for help, | 请他帮忙 |
| [16:50] | and he said yes. | 他总是答应 |
| [16:51] | Now his agreeing to help was part of my plan. | 他同意帮忙 是我计划之内 |
| [16:54] | What wasn’t part of my plan | 不在我计划之内的是 |
| [16:56] | was it actually working. | 他真把你教好了 |
| [16:58] | Drove me nuts. | 简直让我抓狂 |
| [17:00] | Pesky little nerd. | 该死的书生 |
| [17:01] | Stuck with you and always helped you overcome your biggest problem. | 摊上你 还总帮你战胜你最大的弱点 |
| [17:06] | Assuming that’s my selfishness. | 你是指我的自私 |
| [17:08] | No. No, no, no. | 不不不 |
| [17:10] | It’s that you never found a haircut | 是你没能剪出一个 |
| [17:11] | that framed your face properly. | 适合你脸型的发型 |
| [17:14] | Yes, your selfishness. | 当然是你的自私了 |
| [17:16] | I’m not that selfish. | 我也没那么自私 |
| [17:18] | Eleanor, your cocaine and escape train are ready. | 埃莉诺 你要的可卡因和逃跑专车备好了 |
| [17:20] | – Not now. – Okay. | -不是时候 -了解 |
| [17:26] | I think Michael is a liar. | 我觉得迈克尔是个骗子 |
| [17:28] | I think there’s a 99% chance he’s forking with us. | 有99%的可能 他是设局耍我们 |
| [17:30] | But he’s asking us for help, | 但他求我们帮忙 |
| [17:33] | so we should help him. | 我们就该帮他 |
| [17:34] | Because that’s what Chidi would do. | 因为这是奇迪会做的事 |
| [17:36] | That’s what Chidi would do for me or for any of us. | 如果奇迪在 他会为了我或你们这么做 |
| [17:39] | – It’s what I am doing. – I know. | -我现在就这么做了啊 -我知道 |
| [17:42] | It’s just… you’re talking about me like I’m not here or something | 那你怎么说得好像我不在了 |
| [17:45] | and that just makes me feel weird. | 让我有些蒙圈啊 |
| [17:49] | All right. We’re all in. | 好了 我们都入伙了 |
| [17:51] | We’ll help you. | 我们会帮你 |
| [17:52] | You finally listened to reason. | 你终于听劝了 |
| [17:54] | On one condition. | 但有一个条件 |
| [17:56] | You wanna be on our team, | 你想跟我们组队 |
| [17:57] | you gotta be on our team. | 就得真成为我们的队友 |
| [18:00] | Which means the professor over here | 所以这位教授 |
| [18:02] | is gonna give us all lessons on how to be better people. | 给我们上课 教我们成为更好的人 |
| [18:05] | Including you. | 你也要来听课 |
| [18:08] | No. | 不 |
| [18:09] | No, I won’t be taking any classes. | 不 我才不上课 |
| [18:11] | I’m an immortal being | 我是神仙哎 |
| [18:13] | with abilities you can only dream… | 我法力无边… |
| [18:15] | Yeah, and we’re in Arizona, dirtbag. | 是 而我们只是亚利桑那的衰女 |
| [18:18] | A human turtleneck, a narcissistic monster, | 行走的高领衫 自恋的虚荣女 |
| [18:22] | and literally the dumbest person I’ve ever met. | 还有一个”我想众筹给他买个脑子”的人 |
| [18:26] | And who am I? Describe me now. | 那我呢 形容一下我吗 |
| [18:28] | We are all going to take classes. | 我们全都要上课 |
| [18:30] | We are all going to improve. | 我们都要提升自己 |
| [18:32] | And the second you betray us, | 一旦被我发现你背叛我们了 |
| [18:34] | I walk into Vicky’s stinky chowder restaurant | 我就会跑到薇琪臭烘烘的蛤蜊汤馆 |
| [18:37] | and tell her everything. | 告诉她真相 |
| [18:38] | You agree to those terms, | 你同意这些条件 |
| [18:40] | and you can join us on Team Cockroach. | 你就可以加入”小强联盟”了 |
| [18:43] | So what’s it gonna be? | 你怎么选吧 |
| [18:45] | You’re running out of time. | 你没时间了 |
| [18:47] | And we’re your only option. | 而我们是你唯一的选择 |
| [18:52] | So it’s all frozen yogurt places now, huh? | 这里全都换成酸奶冰淇淋店了啊 |
| [18:54] | Yeah, yogurt was what we started with. | 一开始的设计就是酸奶冰淇淋店 |
| [18:56] | A lot of us like the first version best | 我们很多人都喜欢第一个版本 |
| [18:58] | so we went back to… 322 perfectly matched human souls, | 于是我们回到… 322个完美灵魂伴侣 |
| [19:04] | blended together in a blissful, harmonic balance. | 构成了完美融洽的和谐关系 |
| [19:09] | Well done. | 真会编 |
| [19:10] | I’ve only given this opening day tour to you like, 800 times. | 向你介绍这里 我都介绍了八百次了 |
| [19:13] | Hey, how’s this for my Oh- my- God- I’m- in- Heaven face? | 我这表情像”天呐 我上天堂了”吗 |
| [19:18] | – Not bad. – Right? | -演技不错 -是吧 |
| [19:19] | I’m a pretty good liar. | 世界欠我一个奥斯卡 |
| [19:22] | Now I wanna introduce someone | 我来给你介绍一个人 |
| [19:23] | that you’re gonna get to know very well. | 你们将会熟悉她 |
| [19:25] | She was the top point getter, | 她是”行善积分榜”状元 |
| [19:27] | so she’ll be helping me out around the neighborhood, | 她会帮我管理这个街区 |
| [19:28] | kind of like your mayor. | 就像是你们的市长 |
| [19:30] | Vicky Sengupta! | 薇琪·森古塔 |
| [19:34] | Vicky, would you like to say a few words? | 薇琪 你想说几句吗 |
| [19:35] | Actually, Michael, I’d like to sing a few words. | 其实 迈克尔 我想唱几句 |
| [19:39] | Janet, hit it. | 珍妮特 来音乐 |
| [19:44] | ♪At first I was afraid♪ | ♪起初 我害怕♪ |
| [19:46] | ♪I was petrified♪ | ♪我惶恐♪ |
| [19:48] | ♪Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side♪ | ♪你不在我身侧 我活不下去♪ |
| [19:52] | We should have a few hours to ourselves. | 这几个小时 没人会打扰我们 |
| [19:54] | Vicky’s working on her performance for the welcome party tonight. | 薇琪正准备迎新晚宴上的表演呢 |
| [19:58] | It looks like pretending to enjoy her singing | 看来假装喜欢听她唱歌 |
| [20:00] | is gonna be half our job here. | 也是我们的任务之一了 |
| [20:02] | I got her to tell me how she was gonna torture you at the party, | 我问出她打算怎么在晚宴上折磨你们了 |
| [20:04] | which is basically the same way I did. | 就是跟我的方法一样 |
| [20:07] | Eleanor gets drunk, | 埃莉诺喝醉 |
| [20:09] | hogs all the shrimp, | 独吞所有大虾 |
| [20:10] | insults people, etcetera. | 出言冒犯别人等等 |
| [20:12] | Whatever bad stuff you do | 你们在宴会上做的所有坏事 |
| [20:14] | becomes the basis for the chaos tomorrow morning. | 都会拿来作为明早混乱的主题 |
| [20:17] | Okay, okay. So my job is to get drunk | 了解 我的任务就是灌醉自己 |
| [20:20] | and insult people. | 出言冒犯别人 |
| [20:21] | I think I can hack that. | 姐能轻松搞定 |
| [20:22] | Now, Chidi, | 奇迪 |
| [20:23] | I’m gonna need you to act nervous and embarrassed by Eleanor. | 你要表现出紧张的样子 觉得埃莉诺很丢脸 |
| [20:27] | Way ahead of you. | 早就这么觉得了 |
| [20:28] | Tahani, just be your fabulous self. | 塔哈妮 你就继续做你的华丽小公举 |
| [20:30] | And Jason, you’re good old silent Jianyu the monk. | 杰森 你是以前那个不言不语的圣人佛僧 |
| [20:34] | So I told Vicky that | 我告诉薇琪 |
| [20:36] | I would handle the surveillance on the four of you. | 我会亲自负责监视你们四个 |
| [20:38] | That’ll let us meet each day for Chidi’s ethics lessons, | 这样 我们每天就可以来听奇迪上伦理课了 |
| [20:42] | which will apparently include me. | 当然也包括我 |
| [20:45] | Even though that’s transparently insane. | 即使这样完全不科学 |
| [20:47] | Cool. And Jannet , you are noy gonna rat us out, right? | 了解 珍妮特 你不会出卖我们吧 |
| [20:51] | Well, Jason, I’ve been thinking about this a lot | 杰森 我在过去的130万秒里 |
| [20:53] | over the last 1.3 million seconds, | 一直在想这个问题 |
| [20:56] | I’m not allowed to lie, | 我程序上不允许说谎 |
| [20:57] | but my purpose is to make humans happy. | 但我存在的意义就是为了让人类幸福 |
| [21:00] | And since you’re the only actual humans here, | 既然这里只有你们是人类 |
| [21:04] | I’m on board for whatever fun little schemes you guys come up with. | 你们想怎么改写剧本 都算我一个吧 |
| [21:06] | Okay, bring it in. Team huddle. | 好 来吧 团抱一下 |
| [21:10] | The Bad Place is about to be outsmarted | “恶地”就要被虐惨了 |
| [21:12] | by a cowardly traitor, four dum-dums, | 被一个没骨气的叛徒 四个傻人类 |
| [21:15] | – and a robot. – Not a robot. | -一个机器人 -我不是机器人 |
| [21:17] | We can do this. | 我们能行 |
| [21:18] | Team Cockroach on three. | 数三下 喊口号 |
| [21:19] | One, two, three. | 一二三 |
| [21:21] | – Team Cockroach! – Bobcats! | -“小强联盟” -山猫队 |
| [21:24] | I still think that’s better. | 我还是觉得”山猫队”更好听 |