| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | This is an exciting day. | 今儿个真高兴啊 |
| [00:02] | We are going to tackle The Trolley Problem. | 我们今天要解决”电车难题” |
| [00:04] | Is this a game? I go first. I call blue. | 游戏吗 我先来 我选蓝色 |
| [00:06] | There’s no–this is– | 没有… 不是… |
| [00:09] | No, this is a thought experiment | 不 这是个思想实验 |
| [00:11] | first introduced by British philosopher Philippa Foot in 1967. | 最早由英国哲学家菲利帕·福特于1967年提出 |
| [00:17] | You are driving a trolley when the brakes fail, | 你开着一辆电车 而车闸坏了 |
| [00:21] | and on the track ahead of you | 你前方轨道上面 |
| [00:22] | are five workmen that you will run over. | 有五个工人 你会撞死他们 |
| [00:26] | Now you can steer to another track, | 你也可以选择换轨道 |
| [00:29] | but on that track, | 但那条轨道上 |
| [00:30] | is one person you would kill instead of the five. | 你会撞死一个人 而非五个人 |
| [00:33] | What do you do? | 你会怎么做 |
| [00:35] | Do we know anything about the people? | 我们了解这些人吗 |
| [00:36] | Like, is one of them an ex-boyfriend | 比如 其中一个是你前男友 |
| [00:39] | or that snooty girl from Rite Aid | 或是药店里那个 |
| [00:41] | who was always silently judging my purchases? | 总是向投来鄙视目光的”白莲花” |
| [00:43] | It’s like, yeah, chicky, a Baby Ruth and birth control. | 行了 “宝贝巧克力棒”和避孕药 |
| [00:46] | I see the irony. Keep a-swipin’. | 我知道很讽刺 继续结账吧 |
| [00:48] | You don’t know any of the workers. | 你对谁都一无所知 |
| [00:50] | Okay, well, then that’s easy. I switch tracks. | 好吧 那简单 换轨道 |
| [00:52] | Kill one person instead of five. | 杀掉一个 而非五个 |
| [00:54] | But this is hard because | 但这很难选啊 |
| [00:55] | the only trolley I’ve ever been on is James Franco’s ironic trolley. | 因为我就只坐过詹姆斯·弗兰科的惊奇电车 |
| [00:58] | It travels backwards from his penguin grotto | 从他的企鹅洞穴 |
| [01:00] | to his garage of adult tricycles. | 倒回成人三轮车的车库 |
| [01:04] | – Kill one, save five. – Good! | -杀死一个 救五个 -很好 |
| [01:05] | But there’s a lot of other versions of this, | 但这个问题有多种情境 |
| [01:07] | like what if you knew one of the people? | 比如你认识其中一个人呢 |
| [01:09] | Does that change the equation? | 这会影响实验条件吗 |
| [01:11] | Or what if you’re not the driver, you’re just a bystander? | 或者你不是司机 只是个路人呢 |
| [01:14] | Or let’s throw the trolley out altogether. | 再或者把电车情境换掉 |
| [01:16] | Let’s say you’re a doctor, | 假设你是个医生 |
| [01:18] | and you can save five patients. | 你可以救活五个患者 |
| [01:21] | But you have to kill one healthy person | 但你得杀死一个健康的人 |
| [01:24] | and use his organs to do it. | 用他的器官去救人 |
| [01:26] | But that’s not the same thing. | 但这不是一回事 |
| [01:28] | Why not? | 为什么不是呢 |
| [01:29] | It’s still choosing to kill one person to save five, isn’t it? | 还是选择杀一个人 救五个人 不是吗 |
| [01:33] | Michael, you’ve been kind of quiet. | 迈克尔 你一直没发表意见 |
| [01:36] | What do you think about all this? | 你怎么看待这个问题呢 |
| [01:37] | Well, obviously the dilemma is clear. | 左右为难的地方 很明显就是 |
| [01:40] | How do you kill all six people? | 怎么干掉全部六人 |
| [01:43] | So I would dangle a sharp blade out the window | 所以我会架一把尖刀伸向窗外 |
| [01:45] | to slice the neck of the guy on the other track | 切掉另一轨道上那个人的脑袋 |
| [01:48] | as we smush our five main guys. | 同时压死前方五个人 |
| [01:54] | I did the thing again, didn’t I? | 我又回归本性了 是吧 |
| [01:56] | Yep. Ten more, buddy. | 没错 再罚写十遍 来吧 |
| [01:57] | People good. People good. | 人类很好 人类很好 |
| [01:59] | Why is that so hard to remember? | 怎么就这么难记啊 |
| [02:01] | People… What is it? | 人类 啥来着 |
| [02:03] | – Good. – Good. | -很好 -很好 |
| [02:12] | Cool. Later, guys. | 行 我先撤了 |
| [02:15] | Twerps, we have an hour before we have to pretend | 小伙伴们 假装被薇琪折磨之前 |
| [02:17] | to be tortured by Vicky. | 还有一个小时 |
| [02:18] | You want to hang out? | 要一起玩儿吗 |
| [02:19] | We could work on our forced grins. | 我们可以练习一下苦笑 |
| [02:21] | Check mine out. | 瞧瞧我的 |
| [02:23] | This place is miserable, etcetera. | 这个地方太煎熬了 各种痛苦啊 |
| [02:26] | – That sounds fun. – Right? | -听起来很有意思 -是吧 |
| [02:27] | But I was gonna dive into next week’s reading, I’m afraid. | 但我打算预习下周的阅读材料 |
| [02:30] | Sorry. | 抱歉了 |
| [02:31] | Jason, do you, care to join? | 杰森 你要一起来吗 |
| [02:33] | Sure, dog. | 好啊 妹子 |
| [02:35] | You’re doing extra-credit work? | 你还做课外作业吗 |
| [02:37] | What can I say? | 怎么说呢 |
| [02:37] | This class is more fun than I thought. | 这课比我想象中有意思 |
| [02:45] | Eleanor seemed a little suspicious earlier, | 埃莉诺之前有点怀疑我们啊 |
| [02:47] | snooping around. | 问东问西 |
| [02:49] | You didn’t tell her about us, did you? | 你没把我们的事告诉她吧 |
| [02:52] | No. | 没有 |
| [02:53] | Why are you so scared that someone will know we’re pounding it out? | 你怎么这么害怕别人知道我们”啪啪啪”啊 |
| [02:56] | Precisely because you refer to lovemaking as “pounding it out.” | 正是因为你把”上床”说成”啪啪啪”啊 |
| [03:00] | Who cares about what other people might think about us being together? | 谁在乎别人怎么看我们是一对啊 |
| [03:04] | Maybe you should talk about this with a friend. | 也许你该跟朋友聊聊 |
| [03:07] | But then that person would know we were together. | 但那样别人就知道我们在一起了 |
| [03:10] | Right. Then you can talk about why it is | 嗯 然后你可以聊一下 |
| [03:12] | that you don’t want anyone to know we’re together. | 你不想让别人知道我们在一起 |
| [03:14] | But then that person would know, | 那这个人就知道了 |
| [03:15] | and I don’t want anyone to know. | 而我不想让人知道 |
| [03:17] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [03:18] | I’m saying you should talk to someone about how weird it is | 我是说你该找个人谈一下 |
| [03:21] | that you don’t want to talk to someone about how we’re together. | 你不想让人知道我们在一起 这事多奇怪 |
| [03:26] | How’s it going, teach? | 怎么样了 “老师” |
| [03:28] | Kitchen looks nice and crazy. | 厨房一片凌乱美呀 |
| [03:29] | I’ve been racking my brain, | 我一直绞尽脑汁 |
| [03:30] | trying to find a way to get through to Michael. | 想让迈克尔开窍 |
| [03:32] | What do you think about writing a rap musical about Kierkegaard? | 把克尔凯郭尔唱成饶舌怎么样 |
| [03:36] | I think that’s a terrible idea. | 必须是馊主意啊 |
| [03:38] | Cool. | 了解 |
| [03:41] | Michael’s not going to learn how to be a good person overnight. | 迈克尔不可能一下就学会做好人 |
| [03:44] | He’s not even a person. | 他都不是个人 |
| [03:45] | He’s just a bunch of evil shoved up the butt of an evil mannequin, you know. | 他就是披着一张人皮的各种恶魔结合体 |
| [03:50] | Teaching him to be good– it’s like… | 教他良善 就像是… |
| [03:52] | teaching me how to be not hot. | 教我怎么收起自己的性感 |
| [03:54] | How would you even do it? | 难于上青天啊 |
| [03:56] | You’d have me hunch or something | 你得教我驼背之类的 |
| [03:57] | and then stand there and say “Gurp, gurp, gurp”? | 然后站在那里 哼唧哼唧讨人嫌 |
| [04:02] | I don’t even know. | 臣妾做不到啊 |
| [04:03] | I can’t even picture it because I’ve been hot my whole life. | 我都无法想象 因为姐一生都这么性感撩人 |
| [04:06] | I’m sorry. Who is this conversation for again? | 抱歉 我们对话的主角是谁来着 |
| [04:08] | It’s for you. | 主角是你啊 |
| [04:09] | I believe in you, nerd boy. | 我对你有信心 “小书生” |
| [04:11] | If you can teach me and Jason ethics, | 如果你能教我和杰森伦理道德 |
| [04:14] | you can teach anybody. | 你就能教任何人 |
| [04:16] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [04:17] | But definitely a no on the rap musical? | 但绝对不能来段饶舌吧 |
| [04:21] | I mean, if we really– | 如果我们真… |
| [04:22] | My name is Kierkegaard, and my writing is impeccable. | 克尔凯郭尔乃我名号 我作品精彩绝妙 |
| [04:24] | Check out my teleological suspension of the ethical. | “道德实践或目的理性范畴”来瞧瞧 |
| [04:27] | – No. – No! Right? | -不行 -不行吧 |
| [04:28] | No, it felt like a no when I was doing it. | 我唱的时候 就觉得不行了 |
| [04:33] | – Janet? – Hi, there. | -珍妮特 -你好 |
| [04:35] | If I were to tell you something personal about myself, | 如果我跟你说一件私事 |
| [04:37] | you couldn’t tell anyone about it, right? | 你不能告诉任何人吧 |
| [04:38] | Right. | 没错 |
| [04:39] | So, in a way, you’re sort of like a therapist. | 这么说 你有点像心理医师了 |
| [04:41] | Absolutely not. | 绝对不是 |
| [04:43] | A therapist is a trained medical professional | 心理医师是受过医学训练 |
| [04:45] | with the ability to absorb and process complex ideas about human emotion. | 有能力吸收处理人类情绪的复杂观念 |
| [04:49] | I am simply a vessel | 我只是一具 |
| [04:51] | containing all of the knowledge in the universe. | 通晓全宇宙知识的皮囊而已 |
| [04:53] | Close enough. Jason and I are sleeping together. | 差不多啦 我和杰森睡了 |
| [04:56] | Okay. | 了解 |
| [04:56] | Obviously, no one can ever know. | 显然不能让任何人知道 |
| [04:58] | I mean, I wouldn’t shag Jason if he were the last man on Earth. | 如果地球上就剩下他一个男人 我都不会睡他 |
| [05:01] | But–well, he sort of is, and I am… | 但目前算是就剩下他了 我也确实… |
| [05:04] | shagging him, I mean. | 睡了他 |
| [05:05] | And I think I’m losing my mind, | 我快要疯了 |
| [05:06] | so please help me. | 帮帮我吧 |
| [05:07] | Well, my job is to make your experience here | 我的职责就是让你在”死后世界” |
| [05:10] | in the afterlife more enjoyable, | 活得开心快乐 |
| [05:11] | so I will try to help you. | 所以我会想办法帮你 |
| [05:13] | I am going to need some time | 我需要一点时间 |
| [05:15] | to read every book ever written about human psychotherapy. | 读遍人类心理治疗的所有书籍 |
| [05:18] | And now I’ve done that, so let’s begin. | 瞬间秒读完成 我们开始吧 |
| [05:20] | Have a seat. | 请坐 |
| [05:23] | Hi, I’m your therapist, Janet. | 我是你的心理医师 珍妮特 |
| [05:27] | I just want to have a little chat about your progress. | 我就是想跟你谈一下你的学习进展 |
| [05:29] | In the last homework assignment, | 上一次作业中 |
| [05:31] | I asked you to examine the ethics of “Les Misérables,” | 我让你审视《悲惨世界》中的道德观 |
| [05:35] | in which a man steals a loaf of bread | 就是一个男人偷了一条面包 |
| [05:37] | to feed his starving family. | 给他饥肠辘辘的家人 |
| [05:39] | Would you please read your first paragraph here? | 你能读一下你的第一段读后感吗 |
| [05:43] | “Everyone in this story sucks and belongs in the Bad Place. | “故事中的所有角色都是烂人 死后都该下地狱 |
| [05:48] | The thief is bad. | 那个贼是坏人 |
| [05:49] | The officer chasing him is bad. | 追他的警察也是坏人 |
| [05:51] | All the whiny prostitutes are bad. | 所有发牢骚的妓女都是坏人 |
| [05:53] | Plus, they’re all French, | 另外 他们都是法国人 |
| [05:54] | so they’re going to the Bad Place automatically.” | 所以他们会自动下地狱[恶地]” |
| [05:57] | Do you see how you’re already off topic? | 你看出自己跑题了吧 |
| [06:00] | Chidi, I’ve been around a long time– | 奇迪 我什么世面都见过 |
| [06:03] | like, all of it. | 通晓一切 |
| [06:04] | But I know for a fact that if you steal a loaf of bread, | 我知道如果你偷了一条面包 |
| [06:07] | it’s a negative 17 points– | 那就要减17分 |
| [06:10] | 20 if it’s a baguette | 如果偷的是长棍面包就减20分 |
| [06:11] | because that makes you more French. | 因为那说明你是法国人 |
| [06:13] | Okay. Sure. | 好 行了 |
| [06:14] | But philosophy is about | 但哲学的宗旨是 |
| [06:16] | questioning things that you take for granted, | 质疑你习以为常的事情 |
| [06:18] | and I-I just don’t think that you’re doing that. | 我就是觉得你没这样做 |
| [06:21] | I mean, “I personally know that Victor Hugo | 你瞧这句 “我知道维克多·雨果 |
| [06:24] | is in the Bad Place being tortured. | 在”恶地”里受尽折磨 |
| [06:26] | He’s a real wuss, too. | 他还是个怂货 |
| [06:28] | If one of the lava monsters even gets near the guy, | 还没等”熔岩兽”折磨他 稍微靠近一点 |
| [06:30] | He’s like, ‘Sacré bleu, I peed in my pants.'” | 他就哭爹喊娘 “天呐 我吓尿裤了'” |
| [06:35] | I don’t know what you want from me. | 我能有什么办法啊 |
| [06:36] | T-that’s exactly what he said. | 这就是他的原话啊 |
| [06:40] | Jason’s a nice person, | 杰森是个好人 |
| [06:42] | but my suitors were always of a certain echelon. | 但追我的人都是社会名流 |
| [06:45] | I used what I called the “Duke Rule,” | 我称为”杜克[公爵]法则” |
| [06:47] | because Duke is both minimum acceptable university | 因为杜克大学既是最低可接受学历 |
| [06:50] | and rank of nobility. | 又代表了社会地位 |
| [06:51] | You’ve never dated anyone like Jason before. | 你以前从没跟杰森这种人交往过 |
| [06:54] | I mean, I’ve dallied below my station. | 我也屈就过 |
| [06:56] | I once had a brief fling with a non-famous Hemsworth brother, | 我和那位不出名的”海姆斯沃斯”兄弟有过一段露水情缘 |
| [06:59] | but even Larry Hemsworth had more status than Jason. | 但就连拉里·海姆斯沃斯都比杰森有地位 |
| [07:03] | Jason didn’t even have a job– | 而杰森连个工作都没有 |
| [07:05] | in a sad way, not in the good, rich way. | “无业游民”那种 不是”游手好闲富二代”那种 |
| [07:08] | Hey, guys. What are you doing? | 两位 你们干什么呢 |
| [07:10] | Sitting in a room? | 在屋子里坐着吗 |
| [07:11] | That’s pretty cool. | 很好玩的样子 |
| [07:13] | I took your suggestion, | 我听了你的建议 |
| [07:14] | and I’m talking to Janet about our relationship. | 我正和珍妮特聊我们的关系呢 |
| [07:16] | Actually, it might help me if I could hear Jason’s side as well. | 事实上 如果我听一下杰森的想法会更有帮助 |
| [07:19] | No, no, no. That’ll only slow things down. | 不不 那只会拖慢进度 |
| [07:21] | Look, I’ll tell you his side. | 我替他说吧 |
| [07:22] | He thinks that I have to control everything | 他觉得我霸道专横 |
| [07:23] | and that he has no voice in this relationship. | 而他在这段感情里没有地位 |
| [07:25] | Right, Jason? | 对吧 杰森 |
| [07:26] | Good. Now, where were we? | 好了 我们继续说 |
| [07:30] | I just… heard that. | 我… 懂了 |
| [07:32] | Okay, fine. I’ll leave. | 行 我走 |
| [07:34] | I just don’t feel like you’re engaging with the material– | 我就是觉得你没有深入了解学习内容… |
| [07:38] | like with The Trolley Problem. | 比如”电车难题” |
| [07:41] | That was just tricky. That’s all. | 那只是问题太棘手而已 |
| [07:43] | Why don’t you just tell me the right answer? | 你不如直接告诉我正确答案吧 |
| [07:45] | Well, that’s what’s so great about The Trolley Problem | 这就是”电车难题”的绝妙之处 |
| [07:47] | is that there is no right answer. | 没有标准答案 |
| [07:50] | This is why everyone hates moral philosophy professors. | 所以人人都讨厌伦理学教授 |
| [07:54] | I’m on your side here, dude, | 虽然我支持你 小哥 |
| [07:55] | but he is not wrong. | 但他说得没错 |
| [07:57] | Okay, Michael… | 好吧 迈克尔 |
| [07:58] | trust me. | 信我 |
| [07:59] | When it comes to human ethics, | 涉及到人类伦理道德 |
| [08:02] | I just know more than you. | 我就是懂得比你多 |
| [08:06] | I’ve been studying it my whole life. | 我都研究一辈子了 |
| [08:08] | It’s just that it’s so theoretical, you know? | 只是这一切都是空谈理论啊 |
| [08:11] | I mean, you know, maybe there’s a more… | 也许有一个更… |
| [08:14] | concrete approach. | 实际的方法 |
| [08:16] | Here, let’s try this. | 我们来试试这样 |
| [08:21] | God! Michael, what did you do? | 天呐 迈克尔 你干了什么 |
| [08:24] | I made The Trolley Problem real | 我把”电车难题”现实化了 |
| [08:26] | so we could see how the ethics would actually play out. | 这样就可以亲自实践这个伦理问题了 |
| [08:29] | There are five workers on this track and one over there. | 这条轨道上有五个工人 另外一条有一个人 |
| [08:32] | Here are the levers to switch the tracks. | 这是转换轨道的控制杆 |
| [08:34] | Make a choice. | 选吧 |
| [08:35] | T-the thing is, I mean, ethically speaking– | 问题是 从伦理上讲 |
| [08:37] | No time, dude! Make a decision! | 没时间了 快选吧 |
| [08:39] | Well, it’s tricky! | 很难选啊 |
| [08:40] | I mean, on the one hand, | 一方面 |
| [08:40] | if you ascribe to a purely utilitarian worldview– | 如果归纳于纯粹的功利主义世界观… |
| [08:48] | Okay. So… | 好吧… |
| [08:51] | what did we learn? | 我们学到了什么 |
| [08:55] | Chidi? Talk it out, buddy. | 奇迪 畅所欲言吧 |
| [08:59] | What are we thinking? | 有什么想法 |
| [09:00] | He thinks he just killed a bunch of people with a trolley. | 他觉得他刚开着电车撞死了一群人 |
| [09:02] | It’s just a simulation. | 只是个模拟而已 |
| [09:04] | I would never make you kill real people. | 我不会真让你杀人啦 |
| [09:06] | Well, that’s reassuring, | 真”松了口气”啊 |
| [09:08] | because some of the parts of the fake people flew into my mouth! | 因为那些假人的碎屑都飞进我嘴里了 |
| [09:13] | Michael, can we just go back to the classroom? | 迈克尔 我们能直接回教室吗 |
| [09:15] | We never left. Here, I’ll show you. | 我们一直在教室 你瞧 |
| [09:24] | Look. See, buddy? None of this was real. | 你瞧 这都不是真的 |
| [09:26] | Well, they’re fake people, | 他们确实是假人 |
| [09:27] | but their pain is real. | 但痛楚却是真的 |
| [09:29] | Does that make sense? | 能跟上这思路吗 |
| [09:30] | There have to be stakes, | 必须攸关生死 |
| [09:32] | or it’s just another thought experiment. | 不然就只是个思想实验了 |
| [09:33] | This is awful. | 这太糟糕了 |
| [09:35] | You specifically asked me | 你特地问我 |
| [09:36] | if there was a way I could connect with the material more. | 有没有方法能让我更深入理解学习内容 |
| [09:41] | I’m trying, you guys. | 我这是努力投入啊 小伙伴 |
| [09:44] | Sorry. You’re right. | 抱歉 你说得对 |
| [09:47] | I want to help you understand this. | 我想帮你更好地理解 |
| [09:49] | Thank you, Chidi. | 谢谢你 奇迪 |
| [09:51] | So let’s try again, hmm? | 那我们再来一次吧 |
| [09:54] | I-I thought maybe we would have a discussion. | 我们不是该先商量一下吗 |
| [09:56] | No, the whole point is to play out the scenario in real time. | 不 重点就是演示真实的情境 |
| [10:00] | Quick, Chidi! What’s your decision? | 快 奇迪 你怎么选 |
| [10:01] | Okay. Okay. I can do this. | 好 好 我能行 |
| [10:03] | I am choosing to switch tracks, | 我选择换轨道 |
| [10:05] | so that way, I only kill one person. | 这样就只会死一个人了 |
| [10:08] | Forgot to tell you. | 忘了跟你说 |
| [10:09] | This is the scenario | 这个情境里 |
| [10:10] | where you actually know one of the people. | 有你认识的人 |
| [10:12] | It’s your friend Henry there. | 那是你的朋友 亨利 |
| [10:14] | Chidi! How are you, mate? | 奇迪 你好吗 |
| [10:16] | Henry, move! | 亨利 让开 |
| [10:18] | – Nce trolley. – Move out of the way! | -电车很拉风 -快闪开 |
| [10:19] | I can’t, Chidi. | 不行啊 奇迪 |
| [10:21] | My boots are stuck in the tracks. | 我的靴子卡在轨道里了 |
| [10:23] | – Henry, move! – Anyway, long time no– | -亨利 让开 -总之 好久不… |
| [10:26] | My God! | 苍天啊 |
| [10:30] | Again, just a simulation– | 再说一次 只是模拟… |
| [10:32] | an almost impossibly lifelike simulation. | 一个不可能发生的逼真情境 |
| [10:35] | Would someone’s foot really fly off their body like that? | 人的脚真会这样飞出去吗 |
| [10:38] | That was kind of cool. | 挺酷炫啊 |
| [10:40] | Ethically speaking. | 伦理上讲 |
| [10:43] | Tahani’s confusing. | 塔哈妮乱了思绪 |
| [10:45] | She’s really smart. | 她真的很聪明 |
| [10:46] | And she’s all soft and smooth like a bunch of water balloons. | 她的身体还像水气球一样 柔软润滑 |
| [10:50] | But I tell her she’s pretty a hundred times a day, | 我每天夸她漂亮数百次 |
| [10:53] | and she’s never said I’m pretty once. | 可她没夸过我一次 |
| [10:56] | And how does that make you feel? | 这让你心里什么滋味呢 |
| [10:58] | I just feel like Tahani’s embarrassed that | 我就是觉得塔哈妮觉得我不上档次 |
| [11:00] | I’m not some sort of scientist who forecloses on banks. | 因为我不是什么能够还贷的科学家 |
| [11:03] | I need another session with Janet. | 我要再跟珍妮特谈一谈 |
| [11:04] | It’s my turn. | 这是我的治疗时间 |
| [11:05] | I have a lot of problems, too, you know. | 我也有很多烦恼 |
| [11:06] | Perhaps we could kill two birds with one Janet, as it were. | 也许珍妮特可以”一石二鸟” |
| [11:10] | How would you feel about giving Jason and me couples therapy? | 你能给我和杰森进行伴侣心理辅导吗 |
| [11:13] | I’d feel great. | 那样会很好 |
| [11:20] | Janet, what’s happening? | 珍妮特 什么情况 |
| [11:22] | Unclear. | 不清楚 |
| [11:23] | My guess is I’m operating in a way I’m not designed for, | 可能因为我的功能里没有这种操作 |
| [11:26] | and it’s creating a small glitch. | 所以引起小故障了 |
| [11:28] | But if I’m helping you guys, I say… | 但如果我能帮你们 我会说… |
| [11:30] | “What has one thumb and wants to keep going?” | “什么东西只有一个大拇指 还想坚持下去呀” |
| [11:32] | This not-lady. | “非人类妹子”啊 |
| [11:39] | Okay, so that was trolley Problem version number seven. | 刚才是”电车难题”第七场 |
| [11:42] | Chidi opted to run over five William Shakespeares | 奇迪选择撞死五个莎士比亚 |
| [11:46] | instead of one Santa Claus. | 救一个圣诞老人 |
| [11:48] | Okay, as much as I’m enjoying watching random people’s heads fly off, | 好了 尽管我喜欢看满天飞血见头颅 |
| [11:52] | I think we’ve taken this trolley thing as far as it can go. | 但这场戏差不多可以过了 |
| [11:55] | You might be right, Eleanor. | 你说得对 埃莉诺 |
| [11:57] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [11:58] | Let’s try the doctor one. | 我们换成医疗剧 |
| [12:01] | Dude, what the fork? | 大哥 搞虾米啊 |
| [12:02] | These five people all need organ transplants, or they will die. | 这五个人都需要器官移植 不然就会死 |
| [12:06] | Eleanor’s perfectly healthy. | 埃莉诺非常健康 |
| [12:07] | Chidi, do you want to slice her open and use her organs | 奇迪 你想将她开膛 用她的器官 |
| [12:10] | to save the five sick people? | 拯救这五个病人吗 |
| [12:11] | Chidi, Chidi, think about this. | 奇迪 奇迪 你想好了 |
| [12:13] | I’m your hottest friend– No, Tahani. | 我是你最性感的朋友 不对 是塔哈妮 |
| [12:15] | I’m your nicest fr– No, Jason. | 我是你最暖心的朋… 不对 是杰森 |
| [12:17] | I’m your friend. | 我是你朋友 |
| [12:19] | I-I won’t do it. | 我不会那么做 |
| [12:20] | As a doctor, I’ve taken the Hippocratic Oath to do no harm, | 作为医者 我要遵循医学第一原则 不造成伤害 |
| [12:23] | and although five people will die, | 尽管五个人会死 |
| [12:25] | I cannot harm one innocent person | 我也不能违背医生誓言 为救他们 |
| [12:27] | to save them and forsake my oath. | 而去伤害一个无辜的人 |
| [12:28] | It’s unethical. | 这样不道德 |
| [12:31] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [12:32] | – Tell their families. – What? | -跟他们的家人说吧 -什么 |
| [12:37] | Doctor Chidi? | 奇迪医生 |
| [12:39] | My daddy needed a heart transplant. | 我爸爸需要心脏移植 |
| [12:42] | Did you save his life? | 你救活他了吗 |
| [12:43] | He was working, | 他当时在工作 |
| [12:45] | then a really bad man ran him over with a trolley. | 然后一个大坏蛋开电车撞了他 |
| [12:49] | Come on! | 你不是吧 |
| [12:50] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [12:52] | I’m finding this incredibly helpful. | 我觉得这样有很大帮助啊 |
| [12:53] | I think I’m really starting to get it. | 我好像真开始理解了 |
| [12:55] | I know. | 想到了 |
| [12:56] | We’ll do the one where you’re in a boat next to a volcano, | 再来一场戏 你坐在一艘靠近火山的船里 |
| [12:59] | and you can either save 50 people, | 你要么选择救五十个人 |
| [13:01] | or one awesome dog or whatever. | 要么选择救一只萌狗狗之类的 |
| [13:03] | No, no, no, no, no. | 不要 不要 我不要 |
| [13:06] | Are you torturing us again? | 你又在折磨我们吗 |
| [13:08] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:09] | You don’t care about learning ethics lessons. | 你才不在乎学习伦理知识 |
| [13:11] | You’re just torturing Chidi again, aren’t you? | 你又开始折磨奇迪了吧 |
| [13:15] | – Busted. – What? | -被你识破啦 -啥 |
| [13:19] | I’m sorry. Old habits die hard. | 抱歉 旧习难改啦 |
| [13:22] | Not as hard as those people you crushed with the trolley, though. | 但没像你用电车撞死人那么狠 |
| [13:25] | Boom! | 血肉横飞 |
| [13:25] | I’m sorry, is this funny to you? | 慢着 你觉得这很好笑吗 |
| [13:27] | Yeah. I thought that was clear from my laughter. | 是啊 没听见我杠铃般的笑声吗 |
| [13:30] | Come on. | 好啦 |
| [13:32] | My bad. | 我错了 |
| [13:34] | Look, I’m still on your team, okay? | 我跟你们还是队友 |
| [13:36] | I just needed to let off a little steam. | 我就是得找找乐子啦 |
| [13:40] | See? Back home. All good. | 瞧 回来了 一切安好 |
| [13:42] | No. No. Not all good. | 不不 才不好 |
| [13:44] | You keep saying that we need you, | 你一直说我们需要你 |
| [13:46] | or we’ll end up getting tortured forever. | 不然我们就会永世受折磨 |
| [13:48] | But then when we do help you out, | 但等我们真心帮你了 |
| [13:49] | we still end up getting tortured. | 我们还是会被你折磨 |
| [13:52] | I’d rather just be tortured than choose it. | 我宁愿蒙在鼓里受难 也不愿主动受难 |
| [13:56] | You are no longer welcome in my class. | 你别再来上我的课了 |
| [13:58] | Get the fork out! | 他喵的给我滚吧 |
| [14:05] | – But I said “my bad.” – Out! | -我都说”我错了” -出去 |
| [14:10] | You okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [14:11] | You’ve been staring at the second page of this book for an hour. | 你盯着第二页已经盯了一个小时了 |
| [14:14] | When I’m really upset, | 当我生气时 |
| [14:16] | concentrating on a table of contents helps me calm down. | 把注意力集中在目录上 有助于我消火 |
| [14:20] | It’s like a menu, but the food is words. | 就像是菜单 但菜品是文字 |
| [14:24] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:25] | I can’t believe I actually thought he wanted to learn from us. | 我竟然天真地以为他真想学好 |
| [14:29] | What he really wanted was to torture me, | 而他真正的目的是折磨我 |
| [14:30] | using the thing that I love most in the world. | 利用我最迷恋的事物折磨我 |
| [14:32] | Woven belts? | 织带吗 |
| [14:34] | Teaching. Right. | 教学 对对 |
| [14:37] | I’m sorry about this, Chidi. | 我很抱歉 奇迪 |
| [14:38] | I made him take the classes, | 我让他来上课 |
| [14:40] | and I feel a little responsible. | 我感觉自己有责任 |
| [14:42] | No, it’s not your fault. | 不 这不是你的错 |
| [14:44] | Yeah, you’re right. It isn’t. And no take-backs. | 你说得对 不是我的错 不准反悔 |
| [14:45] | No, a tiger can’t change his stripes. | 不是你 而是本性难移 |
| [14:48] | This is what he always wanted– | 这一直是他的目的 |
| [14:50] | me trying desperately to teach him something | 我拼命想给他灌输知识 |
| [14:52] | that he never intended to learn | 而他根本没打算学 |
| [14:54] | so I’d end up miserable with my glasses all smudged up | 好让我备受煎熬 让我的眼镜 |
| [14:57] | from sweaty-forehead stress grease. | 被额头焦虑的汗滴弄脏 |
| [14:59] | Okay. Gross. | 打住 听不下去 |
| [15:00] | Also, I really don’t think that’s true. | 而且我也觉得不是那样 |
| [15:03] | No? | 不是吗 |
| [15:04] | What possible other reason could he have to behave that way? | 那他是出于什么原因这样待人啊 |
| [15:09] | Actually, I can think of one. | 我还真能想到一个 |
| [15:13] | Yesterday Tahani gave us her reasons | 塔哈妮昨天说了一些 |
| [15:15] | not to take this relationship public. | 不能公开你们关系的原因 |
| [15:17] | Tahani, what do you value about Jason? | 塔哈妮 你怎么评价杰森呢 |
| [15:20] | Well, he’s thoughtful… | 他很体贴 |
| [15:22] | picks flowers and brings them to me. | 他会把花摘下来送给我 |
| [15:24] | Often they’re ones I’ve just planted, but… | 一般都是我刚种的花 但… |
| [15:27] | That’s how I know they fresh. | 所以我才知道那些花新鲜啊 |
| [15:28] | He’s the least self-aware person I’ve ever met. | 他是我认识的人中最没自知之明的一个了 |
| [15:31] | He has massive amounts of unearned confidence | 自信心爆棚 像是充话费送的 |
| [15:34] | and is utterly unaware of his own absurdity. | 完全意识不到自己脑回路清奇 |
| [15:37] | Therefore, quite good at sex. | 因此 床上功夫很厉害 |
| [15:39] | Here’s the thing. | 是这样 |
| [15:41] | I’m nice to you, and you’re mean to me. | 我待你很好 你对我不好 |
| [15:45] | There’s something wrong about that, | 这样不对 |
| [15:46] | but I can’t put my finger on what it is. | 但我又说不出哪里不对 |
| [15:49] | Jason. | 杰森 |
| [15:50] | I genuinely like you, | 我是真心喜欢你 |
| [15:52] | but it’s hard to change all at once. | 但让我一下子改变很难 |
| [15:54] | Can you give me a little more time? | 你能再给我一点时间吗 |
| [15:57] | Okay. | 好 |
| [15:58] | I agree to keep this on the DL for now, | 我同意跟你偷偷交往 |
| [16:01] | if you agree to grab my butt in public once a week. | 前提是你同意每周当众抓一下我的屁股 |
| [16:05] | You can say I sat in gum | 你可以说我坐到口香糖上了 |
| [16:06] | and that you’re trying to scrape it off. | 你是想帮我弄掉 |
| [16:09] | You do sit in a lot of gum. | 你确实总坐在口香糖上 |
| [16:12] | I’m happy for you guys. | 这把狗粮吃得好开心 |
| [16:23] | Look, I don’t know what to tell you. | 我不知道该怎么跟你说 |
| [16:25] | If Chidi can’t take a joke, that’s on him… | 如果奇迪开不起玩笑 那问题在他”身上”… |
| [16:28] | just like all that blood was. | 就像刚才的血都溅到他”身上”了 |
| [16:31] | I can’t high-five that! | 我不能跟你击掌啊 |
| [16:33] | No matter how badly I want to. | 尽管我很想 |
| [16:35] | Look, this isn’t about Chidi not being able to take a joke. | 重点不是奇迪开不起玩笑 |
| [16:39] | This is about you. | 问题是你 |
| [16:40] | You’re doing what I used to do. | 你表现得跟我过去一样 |
| [16:42] | You’re pulling an Eleanor. | 你是”埃莉诺上身”了 |
| [16:44] | Posting my cousin’s credit card number on Reddit | 把我表姐的信用卡号发到网上 |
| [16:47] | because she said I looked tired? | 就因为她说我看起来很累吗 |
| [16:51] | I forgot I did that. | 我都忘了干过这种事 |
| [16:53] | No. No. | 不是 |
| [16:54] | Pulling an Eleanor in this case | 我说的”埃莉诺上身”是指 |
| [16:56] | is lashing out when you feel like a failure. | 你感觉自己是废柴时 就会拿别人出气 |
| [16:58] | You couldn’t hack the classes. | 你学不好课程 |
| [17:00] | They made you feel dumb and small, | 你感觉自己愚蠢又渺小 |
| [17:02] | so you took it out on the teacher. | 于是你就拿老师出气 |
| [17:04] | You think I feel dumb and small? | 我会觉得自己愚蠢又渺小吗 |
| [17:06] | I’m an eternal being who can see in nine dimensions. | 我可是能够看见九维空间的神仙哎 |
| [17:09] | I can see from your aura | 我可以看见你的气场 |
| [17:11] | that you’re about to fart quietly and then lie about it. | 你马上就会放个屁 还会撒谎说没放 |
| [17:13] | And please don’t, | 别那么做 |
| [17:14] | because I can also see what you ate today. | 因为我还能看见你今天吃了啥 |
| [17:16] | Dude, you can bluster and insult all you want– | 随你凶我 随你损我… |
| [17:18] | also classic Shellstrop moves, by the way– | 话说 这也是我的经典招数 |
| [17:21] | but deep down you know I’m right. | 但你内心深处知道我说得对 |
| [17:23] | Whatever. | 无所谓 |
| [17:24] | Eventually Chidi will get over it. | 反正奇迪最终会消气 |
| [17:27] | Leaving it up to the other person to be the grown-up– | 等对方大度地原谅你… |
| [17:30] | yet another classic Shellstrop move. | 还是我的经典招数啊 |
| [17:32] | You and I are really very similar. | 我们俩好像呀 |
| [17:35] | What does that say about me? | 那说明我有多讨人嫌啊 |
| [17:37] | Look, bro, | 听着 老兄 |
| [17:38] | it’s 100% on you to make this up to him. | 百分百是你的错 你要补偿他 |
| [17:45] | I screwed up. | 我搞砸了 |
| [17:47] | I’m owning it. | 我认错 |
| [17:48] | I mean, I’m a superior being– | 我是神仙级别的生物 |
| [17:51] | I ought to act like one, right? | 就该拿出神仙的样子来 对吧 |
| [17:53] | So I really thought about each one of you, | 所以我为你们每个人都考虑到了 |
| [17:56] | and I got you something that will make you happy. | 我准备了一些能让你们开心的东西 |
| [17:58] | I call them “Opposite tortures.” | 我称其为”折磨的反义物” |
| [18:02] | Do you mean presents? | 你是说礼物吗 |
| [18:03] | Yes, that’s better. Thank you. | 这个说法好多了 谢谢 |
| [18:05] | Tahani, here’s yours. | 塔哈妮 给你 |
| [18:08] | Holy mama. | 我的娘咧 |
| [18:11] | Is this a diamond? | 这是钻石吗 |
| [18:12] | Yeah. Honestly, I don’t get the appeal. | 对 老实说 不知道钻石有什么好 |
| [18:15] | Diamonds are literally carbon molecules lined up in the most boring way. | 钻石就是碳分子以最单调的方式排列而已 |
| [18:19] | They’re worthless space garbage. | 毫无价值的太空垃圾 |
| [18:21] | What you’re holding right now– | 你手里这个 |
| [18:22] | that’s basically meteorite poop. | 本质上就是陨石的残渣 |
| [18:25] | And I have the biggest piece! | 我拥有最大的钻石哎 |
| [18:27] | Eleanor… | 埃莉诺 |
| [18:28] | I had Janet make you a never-ending shrimp dispensery. | 我让珍妮特给你做了一个不断供给大虾的零食机 |
| [18:41] | This is the dream. | 美梦成真啊 |
| [18:43] | – It is? – Yeah. | -是吗 -是啊 |
| [18:45] | Jason, here you go. | 杰森 给你 |
| [18:48] | Pikachu! | 皮卡丘 |
| [18:49] | Guys, it’s Pikachu! | 大家看啊 皮卡丘 |
| [18:51] | This is awesome– | 太赞了… |
| [18:54] | Man. | 好气哦 |
| [18:56] | And finally, Chidi. | 最后 奇迪 |
| [18:58] | You were a tough nut to crack, | 你这人有点难懂 |
| [19:00] | but I think I figured it out. | 但还是被我想到了 |
| [19:05] | This is a replica of a lost notebook | 这是一本遗失笔记的副本 |
| [19:08] | from the desk of Immanuel Kant. | 从伊曼努尔·康德书桌里找到的 |
| [19:11] | It contains never-before-seen thoughts and musings and several… | 这其中包含了未曾公布的思想 冥想 还有几个… |
| [19:18] | crude erotic doodles. | 粗糙的色情涂鸦 |
| [19:20] | Interesting guy, actually. | 这货其实挺有意思 |
| [19:22] | The point is, | 重点是 |
| [19:23] | no one on Earth has ever seen this… | 世上无人看过这本笔记… |
| [19:26] | except for you. | 除了你 |
| [19:28] | Cool. | 不错 |
| [19:30] | This isn’t an apology. | 这不是道歉 |
| [19:31] | It’s a bribe, and I’m not interested. | 这是收买人心 而我不接受 |
| [19:34] | Yeah, we can’t be bought. | 就是 你收买不了我们 |
| [19:35] | What do you want from me, man? | 你想让我怎么样啊 |
| [19:37] | You want me to give you a golden nameplate for your office? | 你想让我送你一个金匾挂办公室吗 |
| [19:40] | Or you want a diamond bigger than Tahani’s? | 还是想让我送你一个比塔哈妮那颗还大的钻石 |
| [19:42] | No! Then this would be worthless. | 不行 那这颗钻石就没价值了 |
| [19:45] | I don’t want anything. | 我什么东西都不要 |
| [19:47] | Okay. I get it. | 行 我懂了 |
| [19:50] | I get it. You want me to admit that I was wrong. | 我懂了 你想让我承认我错了 |
| [19:52] | You want me to say, | 你想让我说 |
| [19:53] | “Chidi, I’m so sorry | “奇迪 我很抱歉 |
| [19:55] | because I didn’t understand human ethics and you do. | 因为我不如你这么懂伦理学 |
| [19:59] | It made me feel insecure, and I lashed out. | 这让我玻璃心碎成渣 我拿你出气了 |
| [20:02] | And, please help me because I feel so– | 还有 帮帮我吧 因为我觉得… |
| [20:04] | so lonely and vulnerable.” | 非常孤独 非常无助” |
| [20:08] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [20:14] | Chidi, I am so sorry. I… | 奇迪 我很抱歉 |
| [20:17] | I didn’t understand human ethics, and you do. | 我不如你这么懂伦理学 |
| [20:20] | And it made me feel insecure, | 这让我玻璃心碎成渣 |
| [20:23] | and I lashed out. | 我拿你出气了 |
| [20:26] | And I really need your help because I feel… | 我真心需要你的帮助 因为我觉得… |
| [20:29] | so lost and vulnerable. | 迷茫又无助 |
| [20:34] | Have a seat. | 坐吧 |
| [20:42] | Nobody try mystery flavor. | 大家千万别试神秘口味 |
| [20:44] | It’s white chocolate, and it is nasty. | 是白巧克力 可难吃了 |
| [20:49] | Listen, we just wanted to thank you for all of your help. | 我们想谢谢你的帮忙 |
| [20:52] | Our relationship has grown so much stronger over the past few weeks, | 过去几周中 我们的感情越来越稳固了 |
| [20:56] | and we owe it all to you. | 这都是你的功劳 |
| [20:57] | Congratulations. | 恭喜你 |
| [20:58] | I am very happy for the both of you. | 我真心替你们开心 |
| [21:04] | Okay. Bye. | 好了 再见 |
| [21:13] | Hi, there. | 你好 |
| [21:14] | What’s happening? What’s wrong? | 怎么回事 哪里出问题了 |
| [21:16] | I am wrong. | 我出问题了 |
| [21:17] | I can’t stop glitching. | 我一直出现故障 |
| [21:18] | I don’t know why. | 不清楚原因 |
| [21:19] | And it’s getting worse. | 而且越来越严重 |
| [21:20] | I fear this neighborhood is in danger of total collapse. | 我怕整个街区就要土崩瓦解 大难临头了 |
| [21:24] | So that’s the main thing. How are you? | 主要就是这事 别来无恙呀 |