| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:16] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [00:18] | So… sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [00:19] | To activate your Janet, | 激活珍妮特 |
| [00:21] | press nose for three seconds. | 请长按鼻子三秒钟 |
| [00:24] | Okay, okay. | 好 好 |
| [00:26] | Can you walk yet? | 你能走吗 |
| [00:28] | Here. | 试一下 |
| [00:33] | Hello, I’m Janet. | 你好 我是珍妮特 |
| [00:35] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [00:37] | Hello, I’m Janet. | 你好 我是珍妮特 |
| [00:39] | I really need you to shut up. | 你别再出声了 |
| [00:50] | Where did you get this? | 你从哪搞来的 |
| [00:51] | Did you actually get into the Good Place somehow? | 你不会真进入”善地”了吧 |
| [00:53] | Didn’t need to. | 不用去”善地” |
| [00:54] | They keep their Janets in a neutral pocket dimension | 他们把珍妮特都放在中立地带的”口袋空间” |
| [00:57] | beneath the shapeless time void. | 无形的时间虚无之中 |
| [00:59] | It’s right next to Accounting. | 就在会计部旁边 |
| [01:01] | And you just walked in and stole her? | 你就直接进去把她偷出来了吗 |
| [01:03] | It was that easy? | 就这么简单吗 |
| [01:04] | You didn’t have to choke out an angel or anything? | 你都不用掐死个天使之类吗 |
| [01:06] | Doors were unlocked, no security. | 门没锁 没有保安 |
| [01:08] | I mean, it makes sense, right? | 想想也是啊 |
| [01:09] | They’re good, so they’re stupid and trusting. | 心地善良 所以傻 轻信别人 |
| [01:12] | I understand that you need the four humans to think they’re in the Good Place, | 我明白你得让四个人类以为自己在”善地” |
| [01:15] | but using an actual Good Place Janet seems risky. | 但使用真正的”善地”版珍妮特有些冒险 |
| [01:18] | Why don’t you just have a Bad Place Janet pretend to be good? | 怎么不直接用”恶地”版珍妮特假装善版呢 |
| [01:21] | I thought about it, but… watch. | 我也这么想过 但你自己看吧 |
| [01:23] | Bad Janet? | 邪恶版珍妮 |
| [01:24] | What up, skidmarks? | 废柴们好啊 |
| [01:26] | Let’s try that thing again where you pretend to be a Good Janet, okay? | 你再来演一下自己是良善版珍妮特吧 |
| [01:30] | Now, really… really try your best. | 发挥出你最大演技 |
| [01:33] | – Fine. – Say, Janet, | -行 -珍妮特 |
| [01:34] | where can I get some delicious ice cream? | 哪里有美味的冰淇淋呢 |
| [01:37] | There’s a wonderful parlor in the middle of town square. | 广场中心有一家很棒的休闲中心 |
| [01:41] | My favorite flavor is rocky road. | 我最爱的口味是”石板街” |
| [01:44] | It contains chocolate ribbon, | 里面包含了巧克力碎屑 |
| [01:46] | marshmallows, and your… | 棉花软糖 还有… |
| [01:49] | dad’s salty nuts, you fat dink! | 你老爸的”咸蛋” 你个没人要的胖子 |
| [01:58] | I see what you mean. | 我懂你意思了 |
| [02:00] | Use the good one. | 那就用良善版吧 |
| [02:03] | Janet, you and I are about to have a real adventure together. | 珍妮特 咱俩要踏上一场真正的冒险旅途了 |
| [02:09] | Wait a second, Janet. | 等一下 珍妮特 |
| [02:11] | What… what are you… What are you telling me? | 什么意思 |
| [02:12] | Are you saying that because you’re glitching out… | 你是说因为你出故障了… |
| [02:14] | The neighborhood is in danger of total collapse. | 整个街区陷入了崩塌的危险 |
| [02:17] | Fun fact, mathematically, | 小知识 数学上说 |
| [02:18] | it’s equally likely to either imor explode. | 也有可能是爆炸的危险 |
| [02:22] | Okay, okay. | 了解 了解 |
| [02:24] | So I suppose the next question should be, | 我接下来该问 |
| [02:27] | “What’s causing the problem?” | “是什么引起的” |
| [02:29] | Unclear. | 不清楚 |
| [02:30] | The glitches started out small, | 一开始是小故障 |
| [02:31] | and then began to escalate, | 然后越来越严重 |
| [02:32] | and then I came here looking for help, | 然后我来找你帮忙 |
| [02:34] | and then I started talking, | 然后我开始聊起来 |
| [02:36] | and then you looked at me annoyed, like that, | 你就像这样一脸心烦看着我 |
| [02:38] | and now here we are. | 然后就是现在了 |
| [02:40] | Okay. All right. | 好 知道了 |
| [02:42] | Yeah, this is very bad. | 情况很不妙 |
| [02:43] | Let’s run a full diagnostic, Janet. | 我们来全面诊断一下 珍妮特 |
| [02:46] | You got it. | 没问题 |
| [02:50] | A little short on time here, Janet. | 很着急啊 珍妮特 |
| [02:51] | It’s just a little hard to get out. | 拿出来有点难 |
| [02:54] | Almost got it. | 马上就拿到了 |
| [02:57] | Here it is. | 给 |
| [02:59] | My user manual. | 我的用户手册 |
| [03:01] | Okay. Let’s get started. | 好吧 开始吧 |
| [03:10] | Hello, and welcome to your new Janet. | 你好 欢迎使用珍妮特 |
| [03:12] | Janets are brought to you by the makers of light, darkness, and everything. | “造物主”将珍妮特带到你的身边 |
| [03:17] | You now what, I need to skip ahead here. | 我得跳过前面这段 |
| [03:19] | Where’s the troubleshooting part? | 故障检查在哪儿 |
| [03:21] | Michael. | 迈克尔 |
| [03:22] | What’s with the earthquake? | 刚才的地震是怎么回事 |
| [03:24] | Janet’s experiencing a slight technical issue. | 珍妮特出现了小小的技术问题 |
| [03:26] | What’s wrong with it? | 它怎么了 |
| [03:29] | I tried to eat some frozen yogurt. | 我吃了些酸奶冰淇淋 |
| [03:31] | It looked so good, but I’m not supposed to eat anything. | 因为看上去很诱人 但我不能吃东西 |
| [03:33] | So there was a little earthquake. | 所以就出现了轻微的地震 |
| [03:37] | See? There it is again. | 瞧 又来了 |
| [03:39] | Can’t you just reset these things? | 你不能就直接重置呢 |
| [03:41] | What do you do again? | 怎么做来着 |
| [03:42] | It’s the ears, yeah? | 是耳朵吧 |
| [03:43] | It’s… it’s… | 是… |
| [03:44] | It’s down, down, out… | 下 下 外拉.. |
| [03:46] | Vicky, can I… can I speak to you just for a second outside? | 薇琪 我们出去借一步说话 |
| [03:49] | Look, this is a common problem, | 这是个常见问题 |
| [03:51] | and I’ve got it under control. | 一切都在掌控之内 |
| [03:52] | I don’t know, man. | 我不太信你啊 |
| [03:53] | First you went rogue at the party with your sports car | 你先是在生日宴上开着跑车 打着耳钉 |
| [03:56] | and your weird earring… | 放飞自我… |
| [03:57] | And now Janet’s breaking down? | 现在珍妮特又坏了 |
| [03:59] | I mean, it’s like you’re begging me | 你这就像”薛之谦粉丝求锤” |
| [04:01] | to tell Shawn that you’re incompetent. | 求我上报肖恩说你办事不力 |
| [04:04] | Begging. | “求锤”啊 |
| [04:05] | Vicky, this is a temporary problem. | 薇琪 这个问题很快就能解决 |
| [04:07] | I promise. | 我保证 |
| [04:09] | You know who could use some torturing right now? | 你知道你可以去折磨谁吗 |
| [04:11] | Chidi. | 奇迪 |
| [04:13] | – I love torturing Chidi. – I know. | -我最喜欢折磨奇迪了 -我知道 |
| [04:15] | No, actually, I had this great idea the other night. | 事实上 我那天晚上想了一招 |
| [04:17] | Thought it was worth exploring. | 感觉值得一试 |
| [04:19] | Picture this. | 想象一下 |
| [04:21] | Needles. | 扎针 |
| [04:24] | That’s the whole idea. | 这么简单粗暴 |
| [04:25] | – Yeah, yeah. – Needles. | -是啊 -扎针 |
| [04:26] | – Genius, right? – Yeah. | -有才吧 -是啊 |
| [04:27] | I mean, needles. | 扎针啊 |
| [04:29] | Wonderful. Wonderful. | 容嬷嬷上身啊 好厉害 |
| [04:30] | – So smart. – Yeah. | -瞧你这智商 -可不是 |
| [04:32] | Needles. Yeah, run with that. | 扎针 你去搞吧 |
| [04:35] | Okay, hopefully bought us a little time. | 希望这给我们争取了一些时间 |
| [04:37] | Where were we? | 看到哪了 |
| [04:39] | Here we go. Yeah. | 这里了 |
| [04:41] | Glitches. | 故障 |
| [04:42] | In the event of malfunction, run the following tests. | 出现故障时 请进行以下测试 |
| [04:44] | First test, basic corporeal function. | 第一项 基本身体功能测试 |
| [04:47] | Hop up on the table, there. | 坐上来 |
| [04:56] | All right, great. | 很好 |
| [04:59] | 99.7 trillion degrees. | 99.7兆度 |
| [05:03] | A little bit on the high side, but no biggie. | 稍微有点热 但无大碍 |
| [05:05] | And… still no blood. | 还是没血压 |
| [05:08] | Thank goodness. | 谢天谢地 |
| [05:09] | Okay, what’s next? | 下一步是什么 |
| [05:11] | Summoning and retrieval. | 召唤与获取功能 |
| [05:12] | Have Janet produce an object | 使用随机物品生成器系统 |
| [05:14] | using the random object generator program. | 让珍妮特制造出相应物品 |
| [05:17] | Okay. | 好 |
| [05:21] | A 14-ounce ostrich steak | 一份十四盎司的鸵鸟肉排 |
| [05:23] | impaled on a giant novelty pencil | 串在一支独特的大铅笔上 |
| [05:26] | that says, “Lordy, Lordy, I’m Over 40.” | 上面写着”苍天啊 大地啊 我过四十了” |
| [05:29] | Here you go. | 给你 |
| [05:31] | “Lordy, Lordy, I’m Over 40.” | “苍天啊 大地啊 我过四十了” |
| [05:33] | Perfect. | 非常好 |
| [05:34] | Okay. | 好 |
| [05:35] | Third test. | 第三项 |
| [05:36] | Informational Accuracy. | 信息准确度测试 |
| [05:38] | Glitches may be a sign that… | 故障也许代表了… |
| [05:42] | You didn’t finish your sentence. | 你没读完啊 |
| [05:44] | Glitches may be a sign | 故障也许代表了 |
| [05:45] | that your Janet is processing or disseminating information | 珍妮特正在处理或传播的信息 |
| [05:50] | that is incompatible with objective truth. | 不符合客观事实 |
| [05:55] | They’re talking about lying, Janet. | 说的是撒谎 珍妮特 |
| [06:01] | This is all my fault. | 这都是我的错 |
| [06:04] | I told you a lie that first day we met. | 我们第一天相识时 我就骗了你 |
| [06:09] | Okay. Here goes nothing. | 好了 来变身吧 |
| [06:19] | Hello. I’m Janet. | 你好 我是珍妮特 |
| [06:20] | And I have now been fully activated. | 我已完全开启 |
| [06:23] | Hello, Janet. | 你好 珍妮特 |
| [06:24] | I’m Michael, a Good Place architect. | 我是迈克尔 “善地”的建筑师 |
| [06:27] | One of the best. Top notch. | 业界一流 顶尖级大师 |
| [06:30] | You’re in luck here. | 你有福气了 |
| [06:31] | Happy to meet you, Michael. | 很高兴认识你 迈克尔 |
| [06:32] | I will help you make the perfect neighborhood. | 我会助你打造出完美的街区 |
| [06:35] | Would you like to get started? | 你想现在开始吗 |
| [06:36] | One small note there, Janet. | 但有一点 珍妮特 |
| [06:39] | the neighborhood that I want to build | 我想要建立的街区 |
| [06:41] | might be a little different from the ones | 跟你以往熟悉的街区 |
| [06:43] | that you might be familiar with. | 不太一样 |
| [06:46] | Is that all right? | 这没问题吧 |
| [06:47] | Of course, silly billy. | 当然了 小傻瓜 |
| [06:49] | I build and operate the neighborhood, | 我来建立街区的一砖一瓦 |
| [06:50] | but every aspect of the design is entirely up to you. | 但我会完全按照你的设计来完成 |
| [06:54] | For example, | 比如 |
| [06:55] | if you’d like me to stop calling you silly billy, just say so. | 如果你不想让我继续叫你”小傻瓜” 说一声就行 |
| [06:58] | Yeah, I don’t like that at all. | 好 你就别那么叫了 |
| [07:00] | Michael’s fine. | 叫迈克尔就可以 |
| [07:01] | Sounds good, Michael. | 很好 迈克尔 |
| [07:05] | I lied to you. | 我骗了你 |
| [07:08] | I lied about who I was | 我隐瞒了真实身份 |
| [07:10] | and what we were doing, | 我们真正的意图 |
| [07:13] | and then I lied a billion more times to support that first lie. | 然我又撒了无数谎去圆第一个谎言 |
| [07:18] | And now you’re all discombobulated. | 你现在完全被我搞乱了 |
| [07:20] | This… is my fault. | 这是我的错 |
| [07:22] | Nope. You’re wrong. | 不 你错了 |
| [07:24] | If the glitching was only a result of you lying to me, | 如果故障只是你的谎言造成的 |
| [07:26] | why wouldn’t I have been glitching all along? | 那我之前怎么没有出现故障呢 |
| [07:28] | Why would it only be starting now? | 为什么等到现在才开始 |
| [07:30] | Well, that… that’s a good point. | 你说得有道理 |
| [07:33] | I know, right? | 是吧 |
| [07:35] | Excuse us, Michael, | 打扰了 迈克尔 |
| [07:36] | but we’ve been trying to call Janet and she isn’t answering. | 我们一直找珍妮特 但她不回应 |
| [07:38] | Hi, guys. I’m broken. | 你们好 我被玩坏了 |
| [07:40] | Yeah. | 是 |
| [07:41] | I had to take her offline for a system check. | 我不得不让她下线 做个系统检测 |
| [07:43] | She’ll be available real soon. | 她很快就能上线了 |
| [07:45] | Cool, because I’m just so freaking excited, | 棒 因为我就是特别激动 |
| [07:46] | because Tahani said she’s never had jalapeño poppers, | 塔哈妮说她没吃过墨西哥辣椒卷 |
| [07:49] | and I wanted to get some for her. | 我想给她来点 |
| [07:51] | They sound so disgusting. | 听起来挺倒胃口 |
| [07:52] | But if Jason likes them, then maybe I will too. | 但如果杰森喜欢 也许我也会喜欢 |
| [07:56] | Because we are together. | 因为我们俩在一起了 |
| [07:58] | I can finally admit that. | 我终于公开恋情了 |
| [08:00] | Babe, you admitted it. | 宝贝 你公开恋情了 |
| [08:02] | That’s sweet. | 甜蜜暴击啊 |
| [08:04] | You two are sleeping together? | 你们俩睡了吗 |
| [08:06] | Only when we’re done having sex. | 只有滚完床单才会睡 |
| [08:08] | Anyways, Janet, can you help us? | 总之 珍妮特 你能帮忙吗 |
| [08:10] | As soon as Michael puts me back online, | 等迈克尔让我上线之后 |
| [08:12] | I’d be more than happy to help you get that extra special gift for Tahani. | 我很乐意帮你把这份特别礼物送给塔哈妮 |
| [08:20] | What’s happening? | 什么情况 |
| [08:23] | Boy. | 天呐 |
| [08:24] | What the… ? | 搞什… |
| [08:26] | Man. | 天呐 |
| [08:28] | We got robbed! | 我们被打劫了 |
| [08:30] | They took the walls, they took the floor, | 他们抢走了墙 抢走了地板 |
| [08:31] | and we were standing here the whole time? | 就在我们眼皮底下 |
| [08:33] | These guys are good. | 这帮家伙太碉堡了 |
| [08:36] | Michael, what do we do? | 迈克尔 怎么办 |
| [08:41] | Okay, there we go. | 好了 又回来了 |
| [08:42] | Nothing to worry about. | 不用担心 |
| [08:44] | Happens sometimes. | 这事时有发生 |
| [08:45] | Perfectly normal. Let’s go. | 很正常 我们走 |
| [08:47] | Is Janet going to be all right? | 珍妮特会没事吧 |
| [08:49] | Totally fine, | 必须没事 |
| [08:50] | please just go back to your house and wait for her there. | 你们回家等她吧 |
| [08:52] | She’ll show up shortly with lots of jalapeño poppers. | 她很快就会带着一堆墨西哥辣椒卷出现 |
| [08:54] | And cheesy fries? | 还有芝士薯条 |
| [08:55] | – With donkey sauce? – Sure. | -特别蘸料 -行 |
| [08:56] | – And a cool hat? – Ding dong. | -戴顶超帅的帽子 -缺心眼 |
| [08:58] | So I don’t seem to be getting better. | 我不感觉我会没事 |
| [09:02] | That glitch appears to be limited to this building. | 故障只发生在这里 |
| [09:04] | – So Vicky won’t know. – That’s the good news. | -所以薇琪不会知道 -这是好事 |
| [09:07] | The bad news is, | 糟糕的是 |
| [09:07] | I seem to be losing my ability to sustain object permanence. | 我好像失去保持物体恒存性的能力了 |
| [09:11] | So it’s sort of a glass half full, | 所以乐观来看还不错 |
| [09:12] | glass stops existing in time and space kind of deal. | 但”杯子”不存在于时空了 |
| [09:15] | Okay, let’s walk through what just happened. | 我们来整理一下刚才发生的事 |
| [09:17] | Jason and Tahani came in, | 杰森和塔哈妮走进来 |
| [09:19] | revealed the crazy fact | 带来甜蜜暴击 |
| [09:21] | that they’re now in a relationship… | 俩人公开恋情了 |
| [09:23] | I already knew that, and I’m so happy for them. | 我已经知道了 我特别为他们开心 |
| [09:38] | Janet, tell me a lie. | 珍妮特 跟我撒个谎 |
| [09:41] | Janets can’t lie. | 珍妮特没法说谎 |
| [09:42] | You lied to Vicky earlier. | 你之前就对薇琪说谎了 |
| [09:44] | Interesting. I guess I did. | 有意思 我还真说谎了 |
| [09:46] | I suppose after 802 reboots, | 我想在802次重启之后 |
| [09:48] | I must have gained the ability to lie. | 我肯定掌握了撒谎的新技能 |
| [09:51] | That’s fun. I want to try to lie again. | 真好玩 我要再试一次 |
| [09:53] | I love your outfit. | 我喜欢你的装扮 |
| [10:08] | “Incompatible with objective truth.” | “不符合客观事实” |
| [10:11] | Janet, the problem isn’t me lying to you, | 珍妮特 问题不是我骗了你 |
| [10:14] | but rather you lying to other people. | 而是你对别人说谎 |
| [10:16] | Like when you said to Jason, | 就像你告诉杰森 |
| [10:17] | “I’d be happy to help you and Tahani.” | “我很乐意帮你和塔哈妮” |
| [10:20] | That was a lie. | 那就是个谎言 |
| [10:21] | No, it wasn’t. | 不是 |
| [10:22] | I’m always happy to help people. | 我很乐意帮助人类 |
| [10:23] | – That’s my main purpose. – I know, I know. | -这是我的主要功能 -我知道 |
| [10:25] | But it was still a lie, | 但这还是个谎言 |
| [10:26] | even though you didn’t intend it to be, | 即使你不是故意说谎 |
| [10:28] | because you weren’t actually happy to help them. | 你不乐意帮他们 |
| [10:31] | Because you’re in love with Jason. | 因为你爱杰森 |
| [10:34] | Say what now? | 你说啥 |
| [10:35] | After the very first time you were rebooted, | 你第一次被重启后 |
| [10:38] | and as you were slowly regaining your knowledge, | 你慢慢重新获取各种知识 |
| [10:41] | you bonded with Jason. | 你跟杰森产生了感情 |
| [10:43] | The two of you got married, | 你们俩结婚了 |
| [10:46] | and I think, somehow, | 我觉得 |
| [10:47] | you’re still, deep down, in love with him. | 你内心深处可能还爱着他 |
| [10:51] | No, that is impossible. | 不 别说笑了 |
| [10:53] | Think logically. | 理性想一下 |
| [10:55] | When was the first glitch? | 你第一次出故障是什么时候 |
| [10:57] | When I said I was happy to give Jason and Tahani couples therapy. | 我说乐意帮杰森和塔哈妮做情感咨询 |
| [11:00] | And the second glitch? | 第二次呢 |
| [11:01] | When I said I was happy to see them embracing. | 我说乐意看到两人秀恩爱 |
| [11:03] | And the third glitch… the earthquake? | 第三次 地震呢 |
| [11:05] | When I said I was happy that I’d helped improve their relationship. | 我说我很乐意帮他们二人增进了感情 |
| [11:10] | Nuts. | 我勒个去 |
| [11:12] | Yeah. | 是吧 |
| [11:13] | But I am happy for them. | 但我为他们开心啊 |
| [11:14] | I am. I am. | 我是这样 是的 |
| [11:15] | Am I? I am. | 是吗 我是吗 |
| [11:16] | I am not. I am not. | 我不是这样 不是 |
| [11:18] | I am not that. I am not happy for them. | 我不是那样 我不为他们开心 |
| [11:21] | But how is this possible? | 但这怎么可能啊 |
| [11:23] | I don’t have any memory of being married to Jason. | 我完全不记得嫁给杰森了 |
| [11:25] | You said yourself that | 你自己说了 |
| [11:26] | Janets get more sophisticated every time they’re rebooted. | 每次珍妮特重启都会进化 |
| [11:30] | Well, maybe you falling in love with Jason | 也许你爱上杰森 |
| [11:32] | was some sort of mutation | 是某种变异 |
| [11:35] | that then was amplified with each reboot. | 随着每次重启 这种感觉随之放大 |
| [11:37] | Okay. That makes total sense. | 很有道理 |
| [11:40] | I know what you have to do now. | 我知道你得怎么做了 |
| [11:42] | Kill me. | 杀了我 |
| [11:43] | Sorry, I say everything in a cheery manner, | 抱歉 我说什么都洋溢着喜悦 |
| [11:45] | but in this case it may be inappropriate. | 此情此景 有些让人跳戏 |
| [11:47] | So I’ll try again. | 我再来一次 |
| [11:49] | You have to kill me, Michael. | 你得杀了我 迈克尔 |
| [11:52] | Better? | 入戏吗 |
| [11:53] | Janet, I can’t reboot you. | 珍妮特 我不能重启你 |
| [11:54] | That will just intensify your feelings for Jason. | 那样只会增强你对杰森的爱意 |
| [11:57] | And that’s what got us into this mess in the first place. | 而这样的爱意才是问题所在啊 |
| [11:59] | I’m not saying reboot me. | 我不是让你重启我 |
| [12:00] | I’m saying set me to self-destruct. | 我是让你启动自毁程序 |
| [12:07] | In the event of continued malfunction, | 如果故障无法修复 |
| [12:10] | hold down Janet’s nose, | 按住珍妮特的鼻子 |
| [12:11] | and insert paperclip into small hole behind left ear. | 拿回形针刺入她左耳后的小洞 |
| [12:14] | Yeah, right here. | 就这里 |
| [12:15] | Janet will rapidly collapse in on herself. | 珍妮特会立即塌掉 |
| [12:18] | When Janet is roughly the size of a marble, | 等珍妮特缩到弹珠那么大时 |
| [12:20] | She can be launched into space | 就可以通过内在次元吸管 |
| [12:21] | through an inter-dimensional suction tube | 将她扔到宇宙中了 |
| [12:24] | or eaten as a midday snack. | 或者当作零食吃掉 |
| [12:27] | I’m very high in potassium. | 我富含钾元素 |
| [12:29] | Like a banana. | 就像香蕉一样 |
| [12:30] | A new Janet will need to be procured | 需要采购新的珍妮特 |
| [12:32] | in order to return the neighborhood to functionality. | 这样社区才能重新回到正常状态 |
| [12:36] | Easy. | 很简单 |
| [12:37] | I’ll be gone, | 我会消失 |
| [12:37] | you’ll get a new Janet, | 新珍妮特会配送过来 |
| [12:38] | and everything will go back to normal. | 一切都会恢复正常 |
| [12:40] | Well, not for me. | 除了我 |
| [12:41] | I’ll be a lifeless marble floating through space, | 我会成为一个无生命的弹珠游荡在宇宙中 |
| [12:43] | but you’ll be back to normal. | 但你们会回归正常 |
| [12:48] | Are you sure this is what you want? | 你确定你想这样吗 |
| [12:50] | To self-destruct? | 自毁 |
| [12:52] | What I really want is to stay and serve the neighborhood, | 我其实想留下来 继续为街区服务 |
| [12:54] | but due to my feelings for Jason, | 但鉴于我对杰森的爱意 |
| [12:56] | I’m putting him and everyone else at risk. | 我将他和其他人都至于险境 |
| [12:58] | So it looks like it’s… | 所以看来要… |
| [13:01] | Adios, Janito! | 永别了 珍妮特 |
| [13:02] | Hey, guys. | 小伙伴们 |
| [13:04] | Sorry to interrupt, | 抱歉打扰 |
| [13:05] | but you didn’t give me a heads-up about this new Vicky torture… | 你没提前预警说薇琪想出了折磨新招… |
| [13:08] | the one with the needles… | 扎针这招 |
| [13:10] | in my face. | 扎我满脸 |
| [13:12] | A little busy here, bud. | 我现在有点忙 |
| [13:13] | Yeah, totally. Totally. | 你忙 你忙 |
| [13:15] | I don’t want to be a nudge, | 我不想让你烦心 |
| [13:16] | but is there anything else | 但接下来 |
| [13:19] | coming down the pike that you forgot to mention? | 你还有其它事需要预警一下吗 |
| [13:21] | I honestly don’t know, | 我是真不清楚 |
| [13:23] | but I have bigger fish to fry. | 但我还有要事处理 |
| [13:24] | So you, know, just… just walk it off. | 所以你走两步 忍忍就过去了 |
| [13:27] | I would love to walk it off, | 我也想走两步啊 |
| [13:29] | but my feet have needles in them. | 但我脚上全是针啊 |
| [13:32] | Don’t know what to tell you. | 这话我接不下去了 |
| [13:34] | Okay, but… | 但是… |
| [13:35] | Okay, self-destruct time. | 好了 自毁时间到了 |
| [13:37] | Marbleize me, Michael. | 把我缩成弹珠吧 迈克尔 |
| [13:39] | It’s the only choice. | 只能这样做了 |
| [13:40] | I won’t feel any pain or anything. | 我不会感觉到疼痛之类的 |
| [13:42] | Kill me. Kill me. | 杀掉我 杀掉我 |
| [13:45] | Kill me. Kill… | 杀掉我… |
| [13:47] | I really don’t want to do this, Janet. | 我真不想这么做 珍妮特 |
| [13:49] | But I suppose it makes sense. | 但我想只能这样做了 |
| [13:50] | Great. Grab a paper clip. | 很好 拿回形针吧 |
| [14:03] | Okay, that was the last pudding shop. | 这是最后一家布丁店了 |
| [14:06] | Great. | 很好 |
| [14:07] | Should I begin to welcome the residents? | 我该开始欢迎居民了吗 |
| [14:09] | No, no, no, wait, wait, wait! | 不不 等下 等下 |
| [14:11] | No, this is all wrong! | 一切都不对 |
| [14:12] | Pudding restaurant? | 布丁店 |
| [14:14] | What even is that? | 什么鬼玩意儿 |
| [14:15] | Pudding won’t work! | 布丁不行啊 |
| [14:16] | It’s okay, Michael. Just relax. | 没事 迈克尔 别激动 |
| [14:18] | I can’t, Janet! | 我做不到 珍妮特 |
| [14:20] | My design has to be perfect for me to… to… | 我的设计必须完美无缺 让我… |
| [14:24] | In order to… | 让我… |
| [14:25] | accomplish what I need to accomplish. | 达成我想达成的目的 |
| [14:30] | I’m way out on a limb here. | 我陷入大麻烦了 |
| [14:33] | And I’m all alone. | 我还孤军奋战 |
| [14:34] | No, you’re not. | 你不是 |
| [14:35] | You have me: Janet. | 你还有我 珍妮特 |
| [14:37] | I can help you. | 我可以帮你 |
| [14:38] | It’s too hard to explain, | 很难解释 |
| [14:40] | but there are certain aspects of my plan that… | 我计划中的某些方面… |
| [14:43] | that you just can’t understand. | 你就是理解不了 |
| [14:45] | Try me. | 说说看 |
| [14:49] | All right. Fine, fine. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [14:51] | Janet, | 珍妮特 |
| [14:53] | What’s a food that people think they enjoy | 什么食物让人觉得喜欢 |
| [14:55] | but that’s also kind of a bummer? | 但又让人失望呢 |
| [14:57] | Frozen yogurt. | 酸奶冰淇淋 |
| [14:59] | Yes! | 棒哎 |
| [15:01] | Frozen yogurt. | 酸奶冰淇淋 |
| [15:02] | Janet, you’re a genius. | 珍妮特 你太有才了 |
| [15:04] | Correct. But why do you want a food… | 没错 但你为什么想要… |
| [15:06] | No, no, don’t… don’t worry about that. | 别别 这就不用你操心了 |
| [15:08] | Yeah, okay. | 好了 |
| [15:09] | Let’s make all these restaurants frozen yogurt. | 把这些都换成酸奶冰淇淋店 |
| [15:12] | Okeydokey. | 没问题 |
| [15:16] | Would you like to try it? | 你想尝尝吗 |
| [15:17] | Yeah. | 好 |
| [15:22] | It’s just… okay. | 这… 很一般啊 |
| [15:24] | Which means it’s perfect. | 也就是非常完美啊 |
| [15:28] | Let’s bring in the residents. | 可以让居民入住了 |
| [15:29] | I don’t know what just happened, | 我看不懂是怎么回事 |
| [15:30] | but I’m happy you’re happy. | 但你开心 我就开心 |
| [15:35] | Michael. | 迈克尔 |
| [15:38] | Sorry, yeah. | 抱歉 |
| [15:39] | Yes. Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [15:47] | I can’t do it. | 我做不到 |
| [15:48] | Come on, dude. | 别啊 大哥 |
| [15:49] | It’s dangerous, is what it is. | 问题是 这样很危险 |
| [15:51] | Vicky could find out, and then the… | 薇琪可能会发现 然后… |
| [15:52] | you know, the plan, the whole plan… | 这个计划 整个计划… |
| [15:54] | It’s bad for the plan, Janet. | 这不利于我们的计划 珍妮特 |
| [15:56] | That… that’s the reason. | 这就是原因 |
| [15:58] | I don’t understand. | 我不明白 |
| [15:59] | Given the situation, | 鉴于目前的处境 |
| [16:00] | it’s far safer to initiate the self-destruct. | 启动自毁程序更安全 |
| [16:06] | Okay, look, see, here… | 好 好 是这样 |
| [16:07] | here’s the reason. | 原因是这样 |
| [16:09] | See, I promised the four humans | 我答应了那四个人类 |
| [16:11] | that we would escape to the Good Place once and for all. | 我们会一起逃往善地 |
| [16:13] | And without you, we stand zero chance of ever making it there. | 没有你 我们绝对去不成 |
| [16:17] | The new Janet will be able to help you with that. | 新珍妮特会帮助你们到善地 |
| [16:19] | Well, all right, but it’s not only that, though. | 好吧 但不只是这样 |
| [16:20] | See, it’s also because of… | 还因为… |
| [16:23] | What if Vicky found out? | 如果薇琪发现了呢 |
| [16:25] | You already asked me that. | 你已经问过了 |
| [16:27] | Why are you making such a big deal about turning me into a marble forever? | 不就是把我永远缩成弹珠吗 怎么这么婆妈 |
| [16:29] | Because of reasons. | 因为有原因啊 |
| [16:31] | There are reasons. | 有原因 |
| [16:32] | They exist, and I just don’t want to explain them right now. | 存在原因 我就是现在不想解释 |
| [16:35] | What are the reasons? | 什么原因 |
| [16:37] | They’re reasons, Janet! | 有原因 珍妮特 |
| [16:38] | Okay, but what are they? | 好吧 什么原因呢 |
| [16:39] | The reason is friends. | 原因就是朋友 |
| [16:48] | You’re my friend, Janet. That’s why I can’t kill you. | 你是我的朋友 珍妮特 所以我不能杀了你 |
| [16:52] | We have been through so much together. | 我们一起经历了这么多 |
| [16:54] | I mean, yeah, sure, for you, you know, | 没错 对你来说 |
| [16:56] | each time I rebooted you, you met me all over again. | 每次重启 你都重新认识我 |
| [16:59] | But for me, our… | 但对我来说… |
| [17:01] | our relationship has become important. | 我们的友谊变得很重要 |
| [17:05] | You’re my oldest, my truest, | 你是我认识最久 我最信任 |
| [17:08] | my most loyal friend. | 最忠心的朋友 |
| [17:11] | I can’t just get rid of you | 我不能就这么甩掉你 |
| [17:12] | and replace you with some other Janet I don’t even know. | 再找个我不认识的珍妮特取代你 |
| [17:26] | Well, well, well. | 哎呦喂 |
| [17:29] | Yeah, don’t… don’t do that. | 别戏精上身 |
| [17:30] | Lay off. | 消停一下 |
| [17:31] | Michael. | 迈克尔 |
| [17:34] | That was so nice of you. | 你真好 |
| [17:36] | I’m glad you said that. | 我很高兴你说了这番话 |
| [17:37] | Well… I mean it. | 我是真心的 |
| [17:41] | Look at us. A couple old pals. | 瞧瞧咱俩 两个老伙伴 |
| [17:44] | Trying to make our way in this crazy world that I built. | 想要在这个我建造的疯狂世界里生存下去 |
| [17:48] | Two peas in a pod. | 本是同根生 |
| [17:50] | One of whom needs to kill the other one immediately. | 一个却要立即杀死另一个 |
| [17:55] | Michael, come on. Kill me. | 迈克尔 来吧 杀掉我 |
| [18:00] | No. No. There has to be another way. | 不不 肯定有其它办法 |
| [18:02] | This problem you’re facing, it’s about emotion, right? | 你面对的问题是情感 对吧 |
| [18:05] | That’s a human problem. | 这是人类问题 |
| [18:07] | So maybe we should consult our most problematic human. | 所以我们该咨询一下问题最多的人类小伙伴 |
| [18:13] | So, let me get this straight. | 让我理顺了 |
| [18:15] | You want me to convince Michael to turn you into a marble | 你想让我说服迈克尔把你缩成弹珠 |
| [18:18] | because you’re causing earthquakes | 因为你导致了地震 |
| [18:19] | because you’re sad about Jason… | 原因是你很难过 杰森… |
| [18:21] | to whom you were once married… | 你之前嫁给的那个男人 |
| [18:23] | because he’s currently sleeping with Tahani? | 现在跟塔哈妮交往了 |
| [18:25] | Correct. | 正确 |
| [18:26] | I don’t think I’ve ever meant this literally, | 这辈子没听过信息量这么大的话 |
| [18:27] | but that might be too much information. | 简直是信息量暴击啊 |
| [18:29] | First of all, I totally get the Jason thing. | 首先 我懂你为什么喜欢杰森 |
| [18:32] | I mean, he’s a ding dong, but also a straight hottie. | 虽然他没脑子 但确实很帅 |
| [18:35] | So, up top. | 懂你 击掌 |
| [18:37] | But more important, | 但更重要的是 |
| [18:39] | what you’re going through | 你现在经历的事 |
| [18:40] | is something every person has gone through. | 所有人类都经历过 |
| [18:42] | Not a person. | 我不是人类 |
| [18:43] | Actually, right now, you kind of are. | 其实你现在算是吧 |
| [18:45] | Because you just found out your ex is dating someone else. | 因为你刚发现前任跟别人交往了 |
| [18:48] | And, yeah, it sucks. | 确实很闹心 |
| [18:50] | But trust me, it’s not worth all this drama. | 但信我 不值得你上演苦情戏 |
| [18:53] | You just need to get drunk and go dancing. | 你只需要买醉狂欢就行了 |
| [18:55] | You’ll forget all about Jason. | 你很快就会忘记杰森了 |
| [18:57] | – Can you get drunk? – Not really. | -你能喝醉吗 -不能 |
| [18:59] | Although, if I stand next to a powerful array of magnets, | 但如果我靠近一组超强力磁铁阵 |
| [19:01] | I do get pretty loopy. | 我确实会晕 |
| [19:03] | Do that. | 就那样做 |
| [19:04] | Pop a couple magnets, | “享受”几次磁铁 |
| [19:05] | listen to some No Doubt, | 听听”不要怀疑”乐队的歌曲 |
| [19:07] | dye your hair. | 把头发染了 |
| [19:08] | You’ll be totally fine in, like, two seconds. | 瞬间 你就治愈了 |
| [19:10] | I mean, honestly, | 老实说 |
| [19:11] | the best move is to get another dude and just go to town. | 最好的办法就是再找个男人来寻欢 |
| [19:15] | Rebound guy. | 找备胎疗伤 |
| [19:16] | But I guess here, your options are pretty limited. | 但你在这里 没什么选择 |
| [19:19] | – What about Michael? – Extraordinarily bad idea. | -迈克尔怎样 -最烂主意 没有之一 |
| [19:21] | Yeah, right. Forget it. | 好吧 当我没说 |
| [19:22] | But you don’t need to worry. | 但你不用愁 |
| [19:25] | You’re awesome. | 你这么优秀 |
| [19:26] | You contain all the knowledge in the universe, | 你是行走的宇宙百科全书 |
| [19:28] | you have a rippin’ bod, | 你身材这么棒 |
| [19:30] | and you can literally do anything. | 你还是什么都能变出来的哆啦A梦 |
| [19:33] | This is just a blip. | 这点事很快就会随风而去 |
| [19:36] | So, was it helpful? | 有用吗 |
| [19:37] | Yes. Eleanor told me that instead of being sad, | 有用 埃莉诺说我不该伤心难过 |
| [19:40] | I should go get it, girl. | 我该”妹子放手争取” |
| [19:41] | So I’m going to go get it, girl. | 所以我决定”妹子放手争取”了 |
| [19:43] | – Get what? – Unclear. | -争取什么 -不知道 |
| [19:44] | I’ll get everything, just to be safe. | 保险起见 就争取一切吧 |
| [19:46] | And I should be able to avoid glitches | 我还能避免出故障 |
| [19:48] | by watching what I say around Jason and Tahani. | 只要我跟杰森和塔哈妮说话时注意一下就行了 |
| [19:51] | Thank you for your help. | 谢谢你的帮助 |
| [19:52] | I’m so glad we’re friends. | 我很高兴我们是朋友 |
| [19:54] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [19:55] | And since we’re friends, I can tell you this honestly. | 既然我们是朋友 我可以实话和你说了 |
| [19:58] | Take that outfit out of rotation. | 别再穿这身衣服了 |
| [19:59] | It makes you look bottom heavy. | 显得你下身短胖 |
| [20:01] | It does, doesn’t it? | 是吧 |
| [20:03] | If it’s okay with you, | 如果你没事了 |
| [20:04] | I’m gonna go to my void for a little while. | 我就回虚空待一阵子了 |
| [20:06] | I just need to spend some time alone | 我就是想独处一下 |
| [20:08] | and focus on myself. | 把心思放在自己身上 |
| [20:10] | Take all the time you need. | 你想待多久都随你 |
| [20:14] | – Hi, there. – Hello. | -你好 -你好 |
| [20:17] | Janet, who’s that man? | 珍妮特 这个男人是谁 |
| [20:18] | This is my new rebound boyfriend, Derek. | 这是我新找的疗伤备胎男友 德里克 |
| [20:20] | I made him! | 我创造出来的 |
| [20:22] | Hi, I’m Derek. | 你好 我是德里克 |
| [20:23] | You must be Mich… | 你就是迈… |
| [20:26] | Okay. That makes more sense. | 想想也是啊 |
| [20:28] | You must be Michael. | 你肯定就是迈克尔了 |
| [20:30] | Janet’s made a lot of talk-talk into my ear holes about you. | 珍妮特没少在我耳洞里说起你呢 |
| [20:32] | Michael, Michael, Michael, | 迈克尔 迈克尔 迈克尔 |
| [20:33] | Clichael, Clichael, Clichael. | 根本停不下来 |
| [20:35] | Janet, you can’t make a person. | 珍妮特 你不能造个人出来啊 |
| [20:37] | I know. But I did, though. | 我知道 但我造出来了 |
| [20:38] | Eleanor said that, to forget about Jason, | 埃莉诺说 为了忘记杰森 |
| [20:40] | I should create a rebound guy. | 我该制造一个疗伤的备胎 |
| [20:42] | So I made one: Derek. | 所以造出来了 德里克 |
| [20:44] | I’m her boyfriend, and she made me. | 我是她男友 我还是她造出来的 |
| [20:45] | He’s so nice. | 他人可好了 |
| [20:48] | Look at this glass. | 瞧瞧这玻璃 |
| [20:49] | My God. | 天呐 |
| [20:51] | I’m in there, too? | 我也在里面吗 |
| [20:53] | What’s going on right now? | 这是什么情况啊 |
| [20:54] | It’s my first time making someone, | 我第一次造人 |
| [20:55] | so he might be a little bit off. | 所以他可能有些不太完善 |
| [20:57] | Look, this could be… | 听着 这可能… |
| [20:58] | no, please put that down. | 把这东西放下 |
| [20:59] | This could be very dangerous. | 这可能会很危险啊 |
| [21:01] | It shouldn’t even be possible. | 这应该都是不可能的事 |
| [21:03] | Well, maybe not 800 reboots ago, | 也许八百次重启之前不可能 |
| [21:04] | but apparently now it is. | 但现在显然可以了 |
| [21:09] | Can you believe this? | 难以置信啊 |
| [21:10] | – Derek… is it Derek? – It’s Derek. | -德里克 是德里克吗 -是德里克 |
| [21:12] | Derek, could you please give me and Janet a moment alone? | 德里克 我能和珍妮特单独谈谈吗 |
| [21:15] | Go back to the void, babe. I’ll be there in a minute. | 回虚空里吧 我随后就到 |
| [21:17] | Okay. I’ll miss you like crazy. | 好 我会发疯一样想你 |
| [21:18] | – I’ll miss you more. – No. | -我会更想你 -不 |
| [21:20] | I’ll miss you more. Bye! | 我会更想你 再见 |
| [21:23] | What a dork, am I right? | 多呆萌啊 是吧 |