| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Go back to the void, babe. I’ll be there in a minute. | 回虚空里吧 我随后就到 |
| [00:02] | Okay. I’ll miss you like crazy. | 好 我会发疯一样想你 |
| [00:03] | – I’ll miss you more. – No. | -我会更想你 -不 |
| [00:05] | I’ll miss you more. Bye! | 我会更想你 再见 |
| [00:07] | It’s my first time making someone, | 我第一次造人 |
| [00:08] | so he might be a little bit off. | 所以他可能有些不太完善 |
| [00:10] | Janet, you can’t just go round and inventing people. | 珍妮特 你不能造个人出来啊 |
| [00:14] | – Get rid of him immediately. – No. | -马上弄走他 -不要 |
| [00:17] | Eleanor told me to find a rebound guy. | 埃莉诺让我去找一个备胎来疗伤 |
| [00:19] | I couldn’t find one, so I made one. | 我找不到 就自己造出了一个 |
| [00:22] | He’s helping me forget about Jason. | 他在帮我忘记杰森 |
| [00:25] | Jason. Jason. Jason. Jason. Jason. | 杰森 杰森 杰森 杰森 杰森 |
| [00:28] | Jason. Jason. Jason. Jason. Jason. | 杰森 杰森 杰森 杰森 |
| [00:31] | – Jason. Jason. Jason. Jason. Jason… – Honey. | -杰森 杰森 杰森 杰森… -亲爱的 |
| [00:32] | – Jason. Jason. Jason… – Babe. | -杰森 杰森 杰森 -宝贝 |
| [00:34] | Babe! | 宝贝 |
| [00:35] | Don’t be jealous. | 别吃醋 |
| [00:37] | I love you now, | 我现在爱你 |
| [00:38] | and we’re gonna spend every second together. | 我们要共度每分每秒 |
| [00:40] | No, no, no. No, you are not. | 不 不行 你们不能在一起 |
| [00:42] | Janet, no one can know about… | 珍妮特 不能让人知道… |
| [00:44] | I’m so sorry, what’s your name again? | 抱歉 你叫什么来着 |
| [00:46] | Derek Hoffstetler. | 德里克·霍夫史迪拉 |
| [00:47] | If anybody finds out about him, we’re doomed. | 如果有人发现他了 我们就完了 |
| [00:51] | He has to stay in your void. | 他得待在你的虚空里 |
| [00:53] | It’s our void now. | 现在是我们的虚空了 |
| [00:55] | – We moved in together! – What! | -我们同居了 -惊喜吧 |
| [00:57] | Can you believe it? | 难以置信吧 |
| [00:58] | I got my own hanger for my jumpsuit. | 我有自己的衣架挂连身衣了 |
| [01:00] | Already? I mean, that’s so fast. | 这发展也太神速了吧 |
| [01:02] | Well, when you know you know. | 你知道心动了 就该行动 |
| [01:04] | And we know literally everything. | 而我们无所不知啊 |
| [01:06] | We are so in sync, we’re finishing each other’s– | 我们心有灵犀 说话能完成对方的… |
| [01:08] | Derek! | 德里克 |
| [01:19] | Hey, guys. | 两位 |
| [01:20] | Michael, you frightened me. | 迈克尔 你吓到我了 |
| [01:22] | Jason’s making me watch this horror film | 杰森正让我陪他看一部恐怖片 |
| [01:24] | about two ex-convicts who try to rob and murder a neglected a child. | 讲述两个前科犯设法抢劫和谋杀一个没人照看的孩子 |
| [01:29] | Get over here. | 你给我过来 |
| [01:31] | I’ve got some great news. | 我有好消息 |
| [01:33] | I’ve arranged for you to have a weekend getaway. | 我为你们俩安排了周末出游 |
| [01:36] | I bet you’re tired of being cooped up in this house, aren’t you? | 你们俩肯定窝在家里窝腻了吧 |
| [01:38] | I am a bit, actually. | 我确实有点 |
| [01:39] | All this time indoors has degraded | 待在室内不见阳光 |
| [01:41] | my skin from radiant to merely dewy. | 我光彩照人的肌肤都蔫了 |
| [01:44] | Me? Dewy? | 我 蔫了 |
| [01:45] | Well, there is going to be plenty of sun and fun | 你们可以尽情享受阳光与欢乐了 |
| [01:47] | at the private campsite that I set up for you at the edge of the neighborhood. | 我们在街区边界为你们准备了一个野营地 |
| [01:51] | Here you go. | 拿着 |
| [01:51] | I told Vicky that | 我告诉薇琪 |
| [01:53] | I’ll be torturing you for the time being so just relax. | 你们离开是被我折磨去了 所以安心玩吧 |
| [01:56] | Live it up. Out you go, here. | 去狂欢吧 走吧 |
| [01:57] | Now sadly, Janet is still offline | 很可惜 珍妮特还没上线 |
| [01:59] | so you can’t call her, okay? | 所以不能叫她 懂吗 |
| [02:01] | The best news is none of this is suspicious. | 最妙的是 这事没什么可疑 |
| [02:05] | I don’t know what’s going to happen to us, | 我不知道我们会怎样 |
| [02:08] | but I need to tell you something. | 但我得跟你说件事 |
| [02:12] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [02:13] | What are you watching? | 你看什么呢 |
| [02:14] | “Cannonball Run II.” | 《炮弹飞车2》 |
| [02:16] | Again? | 又看吗 |
| [02:17] | You watch that movie a lot. | 你已经看了很多遍了 |
| [02:19] | Well, it’s basically my favorite movie of all time. | 这是我最喜欢的电影 |
| [02:22] | But you can never watch it. | 但你不能看 |
| [02:24] | This copy’s mine. | 这是我的电影 |
| [02:25] | I guess I’m still pretty selfish. | 看来我还是很自私 |
| [02:27] | Help! I need another ethics lesson, quick! | 求助 快点给我来一堂道德课吧 |
| [02:30] | Very weird energy coming off you right now. | 你的表现有点让我蒙圈啊 |
| [02:33] | Hey guys, whatcha doing? | 小伙伴们 你们忙什么呢 |
| [02:34] | Nothing? Great. | 不忙吗 太好了 |
| [02:35] | So, Chidi, just wanted to double check. | 奇迪 就想再确认一下 |
| [02:38] | How do ethical philosophers feel about murder? | 伦理学教授怎么看谋杀 |
| [02:42] | – It’s frowned upon. – Okay. | -不赞成 -了解 |
| [02:43] | What if the reason you want to murder someone | 如果谋杀一个人的理由是 |
| [02:47] | is to make your life easier? | 让你的生活更轻松呢 |
| [02:49] | That’s okay, right? | 这样可以吧 |
| [02:50] | Is there a problem here, bud? | 出什么事了吗 老迈 |
| [02:52] | Okay, I’ll just tell you. | 我就直接说吧 |
| [02:54] | No, too hard to explain. | 不行 我词穷了 |
| [02:56] | I’ll show you. Janet. | 你们自己看吧 珍妮特 |
| [02:57] | – Hi, there. – Hey, there! | -你好 -你好 |
| [02:59] | Who the fork is that? | 这家伙是谁啊 |
| [03:00] | Derek Hoffstetler, P.I. | 德里克·霍夫史迪拉 |
| [03:02] | Derek is my rebound guy. | 德里克是我的备胎男友 |
| [03:04] | I made him. | 我造出来的 |
| [03:07] | Did you do that because of what I said? | 你是因为我那番话才这么做吗 |
| [03:09] | Yes, because of what you said. | 是的 就是因为你那番话 |
| [03:10] | – Janet… – Thank you, Eleanor. | -珍妮特 -谢谢你 埃莉诺 |
| [03:12] | Thank you, Eleanor. | 谢谢你 埃莉诺 |
| [03:13] | You know, you seem so sad. | 你看起来很伤心 |
| [03:15] | Do you want me to make you a boyfriend too? | 你想让我也给你造个备胎男友吗 |
| [03:17] | – I could have a brother? – Yes! | -我可以有个兄弟吗 -是啊 |
| [03:18] | Based on your last 10,000 comments, | 根据你之前的一万条言谈 |
| [03:20] | it would be Stone Cold Steve Austin’s head on Tahani’s body. | 理想型就是冷石·史蒂夫·奥斯汀的头加上塔哈妮的身材 |
| [03:23] | Or vice versa. | 或反过来 |
| [03:24] | She’s not going to make you anything. | 不准再造人了 |
| [03:25] | – Janet, that will be all. – Okay, goodbye. | -珍妮特 可以走了 -好 再见 |
| [03:28] | – Say “goodbye,” Derek. – Good-bob. | -说”再见” 德里克 -“债见” |
| [03:30] | I hope we same place again very now. | 希望能再同一个地方 |
| [03:33] | His brain is wrong. | 他脑子有缺陷 |
| [03:42] | Now, the goal is to tap the ball | 目标是用力 |
| [03:43] | hard enough that it goes through the wicket | 把球打进那个三柱门里 |
| [03:45] | but not so hard that it goes too far through. | 但不能太用力 打得太远了 |
| [03:47] | It combines both classic aspects of British sport: | 这结合了英国运动的经典一面 |
| [03:50] | whimsy and restraint. | 随心所欲又按行自抑 |
| [03:54] | So restrained. | 很克制啊 |
| [03:56] | I believe it was Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain | 应该是英国首相内维尔·张伯伦 |
| [03:59] | who called croquet “barely a game.” | 他认为槌球都不算一项运动 |
| [04:02] | It’s kind of fun I guess, | 挺有意思吧 |
| [04:04] | but can I teach you a different game? | 但我能教你玩个别的游戏吗 |
| [04:06] | In this one, you just whack it as hard as you can | 这个游戏中 你只要尽力打就行 |
| [04:08] | in whatever direction you want. | 不用在乎方向 |
| [04:11] | Jaguars rule! | 美洲虎队最牛 |
| [04:14] | The Jaguars are very good. | 美洲虎队非常棒 |
| [04:17] | Nice. | 真不错 |
| [04:25] | – Thor! – Well done. | -雷神上身 -真棒 |
| [04:27] | Okay, here’s where I am on this: | 我的想法是 |
| [04:29] | We gotta to kill Derek. | 我们得杀了德里克 |
| [04:31] | No, think about it. | 你想想 |
| [04:32] | What if Vicky calls for Janet, and Derek shows up too? | 如果薇琪找珍妮特 德里克也出现了 |
| [04:36] | She’s got to have a lot of questions that we can’t answer. | 她肯定会问一堆我们无法回答的问题 |
| [04:38] | But Derek does seem to be helping Janet get over Jason. | 但德里克好像在帮珍妮特忘记杰森 |
| [04:42] | Right? No earthquakes since he showed up. | 是吧 他出现后 就没发生地震了 |
| [04:44] | If we get rid of Derek, | 如果我们除掉德里克 |
| [04:46] | then maybe Janet will start glitching again… | 也许珍妮特就会又开始出现故障 |
| [04:48] | Okay, if we can’t kill Derek, | 好吧 如果不能杀德里克 |
| [04:50] | then we’ve got to break up Jason and Tahani. | 就得拆散杰森和塔哈妮 |
| [04:52] | If that relationship ends, | 如果他俩分手了 |
| [04:54] | then Janet won’t feel sad anymore, | 珍妮特就不会再伤心了 |
| [04:56] | and maybe she’ll get rid of Derek herself. | 也许她就会自己把德里克弄走了 |
| [04:58] | Girl, you are a messy bench who loves drama, | 矮油 你这剧本够狗血啊 |
| [05:00] | and I am into it. | 姐喜欢 |
| [05:02] | I’m sorry, Michael, | 抱歉 迈克尔 |
| [05:02] | but that’s also ethically kind of dicey. | 但这还是可能会违反道德 |
| [05:05] | Here comes the egghead. | 这个死书生又来了 |
| [05:06] | Well, look, Jason and Tahani are happy together, | 杰森和塔哈妮幸福地在一起 |
| [05:08] | and telling them that he was once married to Janet | 告诉他们 杰森和珍妮特结过婚 |
| [05:10] | might cause them harm. | 可能会伤害到他们 |
| [05:11] | It’s not permissible to ruin their happiness to save ourselves. | 不可以为了救我们 就毁掉他们的幸福 |
| [05:15] | Wait, but isn’t keeping a secret from someone | 等一下 但向别人隐瞒秘密 |
| [05:17] | basically like lying though? | 不就等于说谎吗 |
| [05:19] | No, no, it’s okay to keep a secret | 不 隐瞒秘密可以 |
| [05:20] | as long as that secret isn’t harming anyone, | 只要这个秘密不伤害到别人 |
| [05:22] | and telling them that secret might cause harm. | 而告诉他们这个秘密就可能会伤害他们 |
| [05:25] | – Noice! – Cool. | -赞 -了解 |
| [05:26] | Good point, egghead. | 说得很好 死书生 |
| [05:28] | I’ll tell you what else would cause them harm, | 我来说说还有什么能伤害到他们 |
| [05:30] | getting caught and being sent to the real Bad Place | 被识破 然后被送到真正的”恶地” |
| [05:33] | to be tortured for eternity, | 永世受折磨 |
| [05:34] | which will happen if Derek blows our cover. | 如果德里克害我们露馅 就会发生这种事 |
| [05:37] | I know, but we’ll also be sent to the real Bad Place | 我懂 但如果我们做坏事 |
| [05:40] | if we do bad things. | 还是会去”恶地” |
| [05:42] | I know it’s tempting to take a short-cut, | 我知道走捷径很诱人 |
| [05:43] | but moral strength is defined by how we behave in times of stress. | 但压力之下的表现 才能彰显出意志力 |
| [05:49] | Has anyone ever told you what a drag you are? | 有人和你说过 你特别烦人吗 |
| [05:51] | Everyone. | 所有人 |
| [05:53] | Constantly. | 一直都这么说 |
| [05:57] | I hereby pronounce you King Jason. | 我在这里宣布杰森加冕为王 |
| [06:02] | Dope. | 赞哎 |
| [06:04] | Where did you learn how to do this? | 你这是在哪学来的 |
| [06:06] | The Hertfordshire Academy for Expressionless Girls. | 哈福德郡学院的《无表情女孩》文学课 |
| [06:08] | It was a finishing school I attended before Oxford, | 那是我读牛津之前 上过的贵族精修学院 |
| [06:11] | and then, of course, the Sorbonne. | 然后又读了巴黎大学的文理学院 |
| [06:14] | Do you know what, I don’t think I ever asked you were educated. | 我从来没问过你的学历 |
| [06:16] | I went to Lynyrd Skynyrd High School in Northeast Jacksonville, | 我读的是杰克逊维尔东北部林纳史金纳合唱团高中 |
| [06:20] | which was really just a bunch of tugboats tied together. | 学校基本上就是几个拖船绑在一起 |
| [06:23] | Didn’t you get seasick? | 你不晕船吗 |
| [06:24] | No, sorry-they were tied together in a junk yard. | 不 抱歉 是绑在废品场上 |
| [06:28] | It wasn’t a very good school. | 不是个很好的学校 |
| [06:30] | For most of my classes, | 大部分的课 |
| [06:31] | we just sold dirty magazines door-to-door. | 我就是挨家挨户卖色情杂志 |
| [06:34] | You know, Jason, every single detail about your life is… | 杰森 你生前的一点一滴… |
| [06:37] | deeply disturbing. | 都让人烦心 |
| [06:38] | And yet, I envy you. | 但我还是羡慕你 |
| [06:40] | I was never allowed to goof off. | 我从来都没混过日子 |
| [06:44] | Never even had a friend I could just be myself around. | 身边都没个让我完全做自己的朋友 |
| [06:47] | Maybe I can be that friend. | 我可以做那个朋友啊 |
| [06:50] | Or your husband. | 也可以做你丈夫 |
| [06:52] | Okay, stop it. | 别闹了 |
| [06:53] | No, no, no, I’m serious. | 不不 我认真的 |
| [06:56] | Will you marry me? | 你愿意嫁给我吗 |
| [07:00] | I say we just let sleeping dogs lie. | 我们就别自找麻烦了 |
| [07:02] | Tell Janet that Derek can stay, | 告诉珍妮特 德里克可以留下 |
| [07:04] | but she’s got to keep him under wraps | 但她得把他藏好了 |
| [07:06] | so that none of the other demons find out. | 不能让其它恶魔发现 |
| [07:08] | Fine. As long as they fly under the radar | 行 只要他们偷偷交往 |
| [07:10] | and Janet stays happy, | 珍妮特开心 |
| [07:12] | – I think we’ll be safe. – Great! | -我觉得我们安全 -很好 |
| [07:14] | Janet. | 珍妮特 |
| [07:14] | The truth is, you don’t respect me, | 事实就是 你不尊重我 |
| [07:16] | and you never have! | 一直都不尊重我 |
| [07:17] | Because to you I will always be that guy you made. | 因为对你来说 我就只是你造出来的那个人 |
| [07:20] | Guys, what’s going? | 你俩怎么了 |
| [07:21] | Okay, can we not do this in front of my friends? | 我们能不当着我朋友面吵吗 |
| [07:24] | So they’re your friends now. | 他们现在是你的朋友了 |
| [07:26] | I’m stating a fact. They are your friends! | 我就是说事实 他们是你的朋友 |
| [07:28] | I don’t know these people. | 我都不认识这些人 |
| [07:29] | I am out of here. | 我走了 |
| [07:31] | Great, Derek. | 真行 德里克 |
| [07:32] | I’m going to go back to our void, | 我要回到虚空 |
| [07:33] | and I’m going to try to forget this ever happened. | 努力让自己忘记这件事 |
| [07:36] | It is not your void. It is my void. | 不是你的虚空 是我的地盘 |
| [07:39] | I know it’s a boundless, barren nothingness, | 我知道那里只是无尽的虚空之地 |
| [07:42] | but you are always there. | 但你总是待在那里 |
| [07:44] | Fine. I’ll go somewhere else. | 行 我到别处去 |
| [07:45] | – Fine! – No, no, not fine. | -行 -不行 |
| [07:47] | Don’t go somewhere else. | 别去其它地方啊 |
| [07:48] | Okay… yeah… | 好吧… |
| [07:50] | We’re forked here, aren’t we? | 我们这下死定了 对吧 |
| [07:53] | Look, Jason, you’re lovely, | 杰森 你人很好 |
| [07:55] | and I have honestly | 老实说 |
| [07:56] | had a wonderful time with you these past few weeks, | 过去几周 我确实和你过得很开心 |
| [07:58] | but why on Earth would I marry you? | 但我为什么要嫁给你 |
| [08:01] | Well, for one thing, we’re not on Earth. | 首先 这里是死后世界 |
| [08:04] | Decent point. | 有点道理 |
| [08:05] | Also, we like each other, | 而且 我们喜欢彼此 |
| [08:08] | and I promise to always be nice to you. | 我保证会一直对你好 |
| [08:13] | Okay. | 好 |
| [08:14] | I’ll marry you. | 我愿意嫁给你 |
| [08:16] | But I need some time to plan a proper reception. | 但我需要时间安排一场像样的婚宴 |
| [08:18] | I mean, where will everyone sit? | 大家都坐哪儿 |
| [08:19] | Will it be Michael and Janet opposite Chidi and Eleanor | 迈克尔和珍妮特对着奇迪和埃莉诺 |
| [08:21] | or Michael and Eleanor opposite Janet and Chidi? | 还是迈克尔和埃莉诺对着珍妮特和奇迪 |
| [08:23] | Let’s have it today at the beach. | 我们今天在海边完婚吧 |
| [08:24] | The beach is where all the best stuff happens like… | 好事总是发生在海边 比如… |
| [08:27] | swimsuit issues and… | 性感泳装特辑啊 |
| [08:28] | “Saving Private Ryan” | 《拯救大兵瑞恩》 |
| [08:30] | and “Jersey Shore” and… | 《泽西海滩》 |
| [08:32] | – Crabs! – Okay. | -螃蟹 -好 |
| [08:34] | I hope Janet’s back online. | 希望珍妮特上线了 |
| [08:36] | – Janet. – Hi, there. | -珍妮特 -你好 |
| [08:39] | Is everything all right, Janet? | 你没事吧 珍妮特 |
| [08:41] | Yeah, everything is fine, it’s okay, yeah. | 没事 我没事 |
| [08:43] | I’m fine. So, it’s all fine. | 我很好 一切都很好 |
| [08:47] | How can I help you? | 你们有什么需要 |
| [08:49] | There he is! | 他在那里 |
| [08:50] | – Derek. – How are you? Nice to meet you. | -德里克 -你们好 幸会 |
| [08:51] | – Derek! – Derek, get down from there. | -德里克 -德里克 下来 |
| [08:53] | I am not coming down because I meant to come here. | 我不下去 因为我是故意上来的 |
| [08:56] | I came here on purpose | 我故意来这里 |
| [08:57] | because this tree is my new house. | 因为这棵树就是我的新家了 |
| [08:59] | This is Derek’s house, and Janet’s not allowed in | 这是德里克的家 珍妮特不能来 |
| [09:02] | because I booby trapped it. | 因为我设陷阱了 |
| [09:04] | – Hi. – Janet! | -各位好 -珍妮特 |
| [09:05] | My God, you’re here, thank God. | 天 你来了 谢天谢地 |
| [09:07] | Derek, I am not talking to you right now. | 德里克 我现在不想理你 |
| [09:10] | I’m here to announce that | 我来这里是要宣布 |
| [09:11] | Jason Mendoza and Tahani Al-Jamil are getting married this evening. | 杰森·门多萨和塔哈妮·阿贾米尔今晚要结婚了 |
| [09:17] | “The ceremony will be private, | “婚礼不请外宾 |
| [09:19] | but we think it would be totally dope | 但你们几个小表砸出席 |
| [09:21] | if you biz-natches came | 来个一醉方休 |
| [09:22] | and got turnt up with us afterward.” | 就太赞了” |
| [09:25] | I think I can guess who wrote the invitation. | 我知道是谁写的邀请函了 |
| [09:26] | How come you never get this upset at anything I do, Janet? | 你怎么就不会因为我而这么难过 珍妮特 |
| [09:29] | Do not start with me right now, Derek. | 现在别跟我吵 德里克 |
| [09:31] | I will start it. | 我就吵了 |
| [09:32] | No, no. Don’t. | 别 别 别吵 |
| [09:34] | Do not avoid me by going to the void. | 别跑到虚空里躲我 |
| [09:36] | – No, no! – No, no, no! | -别 别啊 -别啊 |
| [09:38] | What a little bench! | 贱得也是没谁了 |
| [09:40] | Things are falling apart here. | 剧情发展不妙 |
| [09:42] | Chidi… | 奇迪 |
| [09:44] | I understand the ethics involved, | 我知道这牵涉到伦理道德 |
| [09:46] | but we need to stop that wedding. | 但我们得阻止那场婚礼 |
| [09:48] | We break up Jason and Tahani. | 我们拆散杰森和塔哈妮 |
| [09:50] | Janet stops being sad. | 珍妮特就不会难过了 |
| [09:53] | Derek goes away. | 德里克就会消失 |
| [09:54] | Fine, but– | 行 但是… |
| [09:57] | There is something called the Doctrine of Double Effect. | 有一个理论叫”双重效应原则” |
| [09:59] | In order to remain ethical, | 为了保证道德 |
| [10:00] | you can’t just go into this with the intention of killing Derek. | 不能带着要杀德里克的想法去实行此事 |
| [10:02] | Your only goal has to be to spare Jason and Tahani | 而是要带着这样的初衷 拆散杰森和塔哈妮 |
| [10:05] | from future pain by filling them in on Jason’s past. | 是为了让他们知道杰森结过婚而不那么痛苦 |
| [10:08] | No, I got you, I got you. | 懂了 懂了 |
| [10:09] | So, it’s like… | 就是… |
| [10:11] | ethically we should tell Jason that he used to be married to Janet, | 道德上 我们该告诉杰森 他和珍妮特结过婚了 |
| [10:14] | and it sure would be terrible | 而那样很糟糕 |
| [10:15] | if that ultimately led to Derek’s death, wink. | 最终会导致德里克的死亡 “眨眼示意” |
| [10:18] | No, the winking is bad. | 不 眨眼示意很恶劣 |
| [10:19] | You should not be winking or saying the word “wink.” | 你不该眨眼示意 或用这样的词 |
| [10:22] | Okay. We really need to kill– | 好 我们真得消灭… |
| [10:24] | We really need to kill any suspicion that I want to murder Derek. | 我们真得消灭掉我要杀掉德里克的这种猜疑 |
| [10:29] | Boom! | 厉害吧 |
| [10:30] | – Wink. – No. | -眨眼示意 -不 |
| [10:32] | Tahani, you’re so smart. | 塔哈妮 你冰雪聪明 |
| [10:35] | Every day you teach me something new about… | 你每天都教我一些… |
| [10:37] | art…and history… | 文学和历史知识 |
| [10:39] | and why you shouldn’t eat everything that smells good | 以及为什么不该吃闻着香香的东西 |
| [10:42] | because sometimes, it’s candles. | 因为有时候闻着香的东西是蜡烛 |
| [10:45] | You’re basically, like, a hot genius teacher | 你就像是个集智慧与美貌于一身的老师 |
| [10:48] | who sometime has sex with me, your student. | 时而和我这个学生滚床单 |
| [10:52] | That used to happen a lot at Lynyrd Skynyrd High School, | 我在林纳史金纳合唱团高中上学时也常这样 |
| [10:54] | but this time you won’t be arrested. | 但这次你不会被警察抓走了 |
| [10:58] | I love you, Tahani. | 我爱你 塔哈妮 |
| [11:05] | Jason… | 杰森 |
| [11:07] | I’d never guess we would be where we are today, | 我真想不到我们会走到今天这一步 |
| [11:10] | me, a prominent British philanthropist with award-winning legs | 我 一个杰出的英国大慈善家 身材超绝 |
| [11:13] | set to marry you, a swamp dweller | 会屈就嫁给你 一个小屌丝 |
| [11:15] | who once asked me | 还曾经问过我 |
| [11:16] | if the Presidents on Mount Rushmore have butts on the other side. | 总统石像的另一边有没有屁股 |
| [11:21] | We don’t make any sense together, | 我们在一起完全不科学 |
| [11:24] | and yet, when I’m with you, I can really let my hair down, | 而我和你在一起时 我可以做自己[把头发放下来] |
| [11:28] | metaphorically speaking of course, | 当然只是个比喻了 |
| [11:29] | because I’d never have it up in the first place. | 因为我从没把头发扎起来过 |
| [11:32] | I’m not a factory worker. | 我又不是工厂工人 |
| [11:34] | But you’ve helped me to see that | 但你让我意识到 |
| [11:36] | there is more to life than just appearances, | 生活不只流于表面 |
| [11:40] | and I can’t believe I’m about to say this but… | 我不敢相信自己会这么说… |
| [11:44] | – I think I love– – Wait! | -我爱… -等一下 |
| [11:45] | Stop the ceremony! | 先别结婚 |
| [11:47] | This wedding cannot happen. | 不能让你们成婚 |
| [11:50] | This is not helpful, | 我说句废话 |
| [11:51] | but I have always wanted to be a part of | 我一直都想参加一场 |
| [11:52] | a wedding that was stopped dramatically. | 中途被阻止的狗血婚礼 |
| [11:54] | We can’t get married? Why not? | 我们为什么不能结婚啊 |
| [11:56] | Because… | 因为… |
| [11:58] | Because… | 因为… |
| [11:59] | Hang on a second. I can’t do it. | 等一下 我做不到 |
| [12:01] | Professor Buzzkill got in my head. | 我被死书生影响了 |
| [12:03] | I’m just thinking about all the rules I have to follow to stay ethical. | 我一直在想为了保持道德要遵循的规则 |
| [12:07] | Someone else is going to have to do this. | 换个人来说吧 |
| [12:08] | – I can’t, no– – All right, all right. | -我不行 -好了 好了 |
| [12:10] | I hate the be the bearer of bad news– | 我也不想当”带来坏消息的人” |
| [12:13] | I think you mean “Bad News Bear.” | 你想说《坏消息熊熊》[动画片]吗 |
| [12:17] | Before all the reboots, Jason was married to Janet. Okay? | 我们被重启之前 杰森和珍妮特结婚了 |
| [12:21] | That’s why Janet’s been glitching | 所以珍妮特才一直出故障 |
| [12:23] | because she’s sad ’cause she misses Jason, | 因为她想念杰森 所以很难过 |
| [12:25] | In fact, she was so sad she… | 实际上 她特别难过 |
| [12:27] | Well… Derek. | 于是… 德里克 |
| [12:30] | Well, well, well. | 哎呦喂 |
| [12:32] | Jason Mendoza. | 杰森·门多萨 |
| [12:34] | At last we meet. | 我们终于见面了 |
| [12:36] | You’ve got a lot of nerve buddy. | 你这小子好大的胆子啊 |
| [12:37] | No, no. I’m Eleanor, man. | 不不 我是埃莉诺 |
| [12:40] | Everybody, this is Derek. | 各位 这是德里克 |
| [12:42] | Janet made Derek as a boyfriend | 珍妮特造出了德里克当备胎 |
| [12:44] | to try and rebound from Jason. | 来疗愈杰森带来的情伤 |
| [12:48] | I feel quite light-headed. | 我遭到暴击 有点晕 |
| [12:51] | Janet, fetch my tizzy couch please. | 珍妮特 把我的慌张椅变出来 |
| [12:56] | Decision time. | 要做决定了 |
| [12:57] | Any second now someone is going to realize we’re all missing. | 很快就会有人发现我们都不见了 |
| [13:00] | Why don’t you just reboot all of us? | 不如你再重启我们吧 |
| [13:02] | Tahani and Jason will forget they were ever in love. | 塔哈妮和吉森会忘记曾经相爱 |
| [13:04] | It was a flukey thing. | 这是个偶然事件 |
| [13:06] | It probably won’t happen again, | 可能不会再发生 |
| [13:07] | and Chidi and I can forget… | 我和奇迪可以忘记… |
| [13:09] | anything we want to forget. | 我们想忘记的事 |
| [13:11] | You know, just like… | 就像是… |
| [13:13] | personal bloopers that were embarrassing or… | 我们当众出洋相 丢脸的事… |
| [13:16] | days we were very gassy, et cetera. | 我们经常放屁的日子之类的 |
| [13:18] | And then, we’ll meet back in your office. | 然后 我们再在你的办公室会合 |
| [13:20] | You bring us up to speed, and we go from there. | 你给我们补下剧情 我们再从头开始 |
| [13:22] | No, no, no, we are not starting over. | 不不 我们不能重新开始了 |
| [13:25] | We’ve come too far. | 都已经有这么多进展了 |
| [13:26] | Our only options are to reboot either Janet or Derek. | 我们就只有重启着珍妮特或德里克 |
| [13:30] | Neither one is permissible as your primary intention. | 选哪一个都不行啊 |
| [13:33] | I mean, the Doctrine of Double Effect, remember? | 记得双重效应原则吗 |
| [13:36] | Well, man, I’m working with a doctrine of not being completely effed, okay? | 我运用的是”不彻底搞砸一切”的理论 |
| [13:40] | I don’t understand what you even like about Jason. | 我不懂你为什么会看上杰森 |
| [13:42] | What does he have that I don’t have? | 他有什么 我没有啊 |
| [13:44] | A soul… | 灵魂 |
| [13:46] | and genitals. | 还有生殖器 |
| [13:47] | Here we go with this whole “no genitals” thing again. | 又开始拿”没有生殖器”说事了 |
| [13:50] | You’re the one that gave me wind chimes instead of a penis, Janet. | 是你给我装了风铃 而不是小鸡鸡 珍妮特 |
| [13:52] | This isn’t about your wind-chime penis. | 原因不是你的风铃小鸡鸡 |
| [13:55] | In fact, it’s not about you at all. | 事实是 原因不是你 |
| [13:57] | I don’t even know what it is about which is very confusing | 我也不知道原因 所以很困惑 |
| [14:00] | because the whole point of me is that I know everything! | 而我应该是无所不知的存在 |
| [14:03] | Janet, can I speak to you alone for a second? | 珍妮特 我们单独聊几句 |
| [14:07] | Okay, look, when you said you were sad about Jason | 你说你因为杰森而难过时 |
| [14:10] | and I suggested, “Hey, find a rebound guy,” | 我建议说 “找个备胎男友疗伤” |
| [14:13] | it’s ’cause I thought it was some sort of schoolgirl crush, | 我以为你只是像小女生追星 一时心动 |
| [14:16] | like, just some guy you made out with a couple of times | 就像是那种在布鲁格甜品店的小冷库里 |
| [14:18] | in the walk-in freezer of a Bruegger’s Bagels. | 跟你亲热过几次的男人 |
| [14:21] | – Not based on a real example. – Yes, it is. | -非真人真事 -就是真事 |
| [14:24] | His name was Marcus Bitsburger. | 他叫马可斯·比茨伯格 |
| [14:25] | Marcus? I always called him Ben. | 马可斯 我一直叫他本来着 |
| [14:28] | Look, I gave you bad advice, okay? | 听着 我给你出了个馊主意 |
| [14:31] | Jason was clearly important to you, | 杰森显然对你很重要 |
| [14:33] | and real heartbreak doesn’t have a simple cure. | 真正的情伤没那么容易疗愈 |
| [14:38] | I mean, you will feel better after some time goes by. | 等过一段时间以后 你会感觉好点 |
| [14:40] | I don’t really experience the passage of time. | 我感受不到时间流逝这回事 |
| [14:43] | I do use it as lotion occasionally. | 我倒是偶尔用来作乳液 |
| [14:45] | I mean, weird, | 很奇葩 |
| [14:47] | but keep doing it because your skin looks amazing. | 但继续用 因为你的皮肤非常好 |
| [14:49] | Thank you. Not skin. | 谢谢 这不是皮肤 |
| [14:50] | The point is, | 重点是 |
| [14:51] | to get through a real heartbreak, | 从情伤中走出来 |
| [14:53] | you kind of just have to sit with your feelings | 你得面对自己的感觉 |
| [14:55] | and mull it over and power through. | 接纳现实 然后放下 |
| [14:59] | And you have to talk about it. | 你得表达出来 |
| [15:02] | Talking about your feelings is the worst. | 而表达出自己的感觉是最烦人的 |
| [15:04] | It’s so much easier just to find a rebound guy | 找个备胎疗愈情伤要简单多了 |
| [15:06] | and have sex about your feelings. | 通过寻欢来放下你的感觉 |
| [15:08] | I don’t know if I want to talk to Jason right now. | 我不确定现在想和杰森谈 |
| [15:10] | That’s cool. | 没关系 |
| [15:11] | Until then… | 在此之前 |
| [15:13] | If you ever need a friend to talk to… | 如果你需要找个人谈谈… |
| [15:15] | Just know I’m here. | 就来找我 |
| [15:18] | Derek. | 德里克 |
| [15:20] | There’s no easy way to say this. | 这话让我很难开口 |
| [15:22] | I never should have made you. | 我不该造出你 |
| [15:24] | I think it’s time for you to go away. | 你该消失了 |
| [15:26] | I understand because you understand. | 我理解 因为你理解 |
| [15:29] | Janet, this relationship has been the best seven hours of my whole life. | 珍妮特 我们的恋情是我这辈子最美好的七小时 |
| [15:34] | It’s been the only seven hours of my whole life. | 而我也就活了七小时 |
| [15:36] | I made you this morning. We all remember. | 我今早造出了你 我们都记得 |
| [15:37] | – Okay, you ready to do this? – Yep. | -你准备好了吗 -嗯 |
| [15:43] | Janet. | 珍妮特 |
| [15:45] | What are you doing? | 你干什么啊 |
| [15:46] | I imbued Derek with some of my thoughts and emotions. | 我把自己的一些思想和情感注入了德里克 |
| [15:48] | This is the only way I can reabsorb them. | 我这样再给重吸收回来 |
| [15:50] | It will just be a minute. | 一分钟后就好 |
| [15:53] | Dang it. | 我靠 |
| [15:54] | That is some hot reabsorbing. | 这场面也太香艳了 |
| [15:56] | Can you get pregnant from reabsorbing? | 重吸收会怀孕吗 |
| [15:59] | I hear wind chimes. | 我听见风铃声了 |
| [16:00] | Look away. Everybody look away. | 别看 大家都别看 |
| [16:02] | I’m going to keep watching, but you guys look away. | 我来看着他们 你们都别看 |
| [16:07] | – Goodbye, Derek. – Goodbye, mommy-girlfriend. | 永别了 德里克 -永别了 “妈妈女友” |
| [16:10] | Bye, everybody. Derek’s going away now. | 再见 各位 德里克走了 |
| [16:13] | Does he seem a little bit… | 他好像看起来… |
| [16:16] | still alive? | 还活着啊 |
| [16:17] | Well, he’s about as dead as he can be. | 这样就算他死了 |
| [16:19] | Kind of like he’s in power-saver mode. | 就像是他处在节能模式 |
| [16:21] | Derek. | 德里克 |
| [16:23] | Are you worried you might start glitching again? | 你担心自己又会出故障吗 |
| [16:25] | No, I think I’ll be okay | 不 我应该会没事 |
| [16:27] | now that I understand what I’m going through, | 我现在明白自己经历的是什么了 |
| [16:29] | and now that I know I can talk to my friends about it. | 我现在还知道我可以找朋友谈一谈了 |
| [16:32] | Okay, I’m going to toss this steamer trunk containing the lifeless husk | 我要这个装着”假人”前男友的扁衣箱 |
| [16:35] | of my ex-boyfriend into a remote corner of my limitless void. | 扔到我无尽的虚空里的偏远角落里了 |
| [16:38] | – Bye, guys. – Derek! | -两位再见 -德里克 |
| [16:42] | I’m kind of glad we didn’t get married today. | 我还挺高兴我们今天没结成婚 |
| [16:45] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [16:46] | Perhaps we were rushing things a bit. | 也许我们结得有点急了 |
| [16:48] | I mean, we don’t even know that much about each other. | 我们都还不了解对方 |
| [16:51] | Like, who was the first person you kissed? | 比如 你的初吻是谁 |
| [16:53] | The sexy mouse robot in the Chuck E. Cheese band. | 查克芝士餐厅里性感的老鼠机器人 |
| [16:57] | Okay, okay. I think that’s probably enough getting to know each other for now. | 好吧 我们目前就了解这么多吧 |
| [17:00] | We’ll just take things slow. | 我们慢慢来 |
| [17:03] | I know I’m technically married to Janet, | 我知道我和珍妮特结婚了 |
| [17:05] | but I don’t remember it at all. | 但我完全不记得 |
| [17:09] | I’m sorry that it puts you in a weird position, | 我很抱歉让你难做了 |
| [17:12] | and I still like you a lot. | 我还是很喜欢你 |
| [17:16] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [17:19] | What happens now? | 现在怎么办 |
| [17:21] | Don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [17:22] | Do you want to try… | 你想试一下 |
| [17:25] | reabsorbing me? | “重吸收”我吗 |
| [17:36] | Is something wrong? | 有什么事吗 |
| [17:37] | No. Yep. | 没有 有 |
| [17:40] | I’ve been keeping a secret from you. | 我一直瞒着你一个秘密 |
| [17:43] | About you. | 关于你的事 |
| [17:44] | What is it? | 什么事 |
| [17:45] | The thing is, it’s not even harming you, | 问题是 根本不会伤害到你 |
| [17:46] | and if I tell you, I feel like it might harm you. | 而我告诉你 我就会觉得可能伤害到你 |
| [17:49] | So, ethically speaking, | 所以 道德上讲 |
| [17:51] | I don’t think I have to tell you. | 我觉得不用告诉你 |
| [17:53] | Yeah, well, forget all that. | 别管这一套了 |
| [17:54] | This is freaking me out. I’m losing my mind. | 你这样让我心慌 我受不了 |
| [17:56] | So just tell me. | 你就直说吧 |
| [17:59] | And you don’t need to respond because… | 你不用回应 因为… |
| [18:02] | I know you have trouble saying how you feel– | 我知道你不擅于表达自己的情感… |
| [18:03] | I love you too. | 我也爱你 |
| [18:08] | I’ve never been that certain about anything. | 我这辈子都没这么确信过 |
| [18:10] | I once even tried to… rent socks. | 我甚至曾想过… 租袜子 |
| [18:14] | How did I…say that… | 我怎么会说这话… |
| [18:16] | that easily. | 这么轻易说出来 |
| [18:18] | I mean, I get how you said it. | 我明白你怎么会说出口 |
| [18:21] | I’m a total smokeshow. | 我这种极品美女 |
| [18:23] | But how did I say it so easily? | 怎么能这么轻易说出口 |
| [18:27] | Look, I don’t want to talk about this, | 我不想聊这件事 |
| [18:28] | but after everything that’s happened today, | 但鉴于今天发生的一切 |
| [18:30] | I think we gotta. | 我们得谈一下了 |
| [18:31] | So, let’s just get it all out there. | 所以我们都谈开了吧 |
| [18:36] | Well, yeah, I guess, do you… | 我意思是 你… |
| [18:38] | I don’t know– do you have any feelings like that for me again, now? | 怎么说呢 你现在还对我有那种感觉吗 |
| [18:45] | I’m sorry, but I don’t think I do? | 抱歉 我好像没有 |
| [18:49] | Sorry? Why are you sorry? | 抱歉 为什么道歉啊 |
| [18:51] | ‘Cause I’m relieved, | 因为我松了口气 |
| [18:53] | because I don’t either. | 因为我也没有 |
| [18:54] | So, all good. | 所以没事了 |
| [18:56] | I mean, I feel incredibly close to you– | 我觉得我们很亲密… |
| [18:59] | No, no, no, no– dude, dude– | 不不不 兄弟 |
| [19:00] | you don’t need to explain yourself. | 你不用解释 |
| [19:02] | We are on the same page, okay? Good. | 我们都一样 这样很好 |
| [19:05] | Hey guys, sorry. | 抱歉打扰了 |
| [19:07] | I know it’s late. | 我知道很晚了 |
| [19:09] | Can I talk to Eleanor for a second? | 我能和埃莉诺聊几句吗 |
| [19:10] | Actually, we’re chatting about something right now. | 我们正在聊一些事 |
| [19:12] | No, it’s cool. We were wrapping it up. | 不 没事 我们差不多说完了 |
| [19:13] | Good talk, bro. | 聊得很愉快 兄弟 |
| [19:17] | What’s on your mind? | 你想聊什么 |
| [19:19] | Well… being ethical… | 注重道德 |
| [19:23] | it’s hard, | 好难啊 |
| [19:24] | and I kind of hate it. | 我有点讨厌 |
| [19:25] | When’s it get easier? | 什么时候会容易起来 |
| [19:27] | Why don’t you ask Chidi? | 你怎么不去问奇迪 |
| [19:28] | He’s the ethics master. | 他是伦理学大师 |
| [19:30] | I’m just a newbie, | 我只是个初学者 |
| [19:30] | and I still kind of suck at it. | 还学得不是很好 |
| [19:32] | Yeah, that’s why I’m asking you. | 所以我才问你 |
| [19:35] | I designed this entire torture chamber | 我设计了这个精神折磨世界 |
| [19:37] | around the absolutely certainty that when the going got tough, | 非常确定一切太过煎熬的时候 |
| [19:41] | you’d give up. | 你就会放弃 |
| [19:42] | That was the signature Shellstrop move. | 这是你的经典招数 |
| [19:44] | Do you remember once when your change oil light came on? | 你记得有次你车上的换油灯亮了 |
| [19:47] | You just abandoned your car in a parking garage. | 你就把车直接丢在停车场了 |
| [19:50] | Of course. | 当然了 |
| [19:51] | But here, faced with the toughest challenges I could throw at you, | 但在这里 面对我给你的各种艰难挑战 |
| [19:56] | you never once stopped trying to become a better person. | 你还是一直坚持努力去做个好人 |
| [19:59] | And I just… | 我就是… |
| [20:02] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [20:03] | I don’t know. | 说不清 |
| [20:05] | I mean, whenever I would do something crappy on Earth, | 我生前每次做什么坏事时 |
| [20:08] | there would be a little tiny voice in the back of my head that would say, | 脑中总会有个声音说 |
| [20:11] | “Eleanor, | “埃莉诺 |
| [20:13] | don’t grab that handful of olives from the salad bar. | 别从沙拉台抓一把橄榄 |
| [20:16] | You know, you didn’t pay for that,” | 你又没花钱买” |
| [20:17] | or “Eleanor, | 或是”埃莉诺 |
| [20:18] | don’t spit those olive pits onto the floor of the grocery store. | 别在商店里乱吐橄榄核 |
| [20:21] | That’s not cool.” | 这样不厚道” |
| [20:22] | Or “Eleanor, that old man just slipped on your olive pit, | 或是”埃莉诺 那个老人刚才踩到了你吐的橄榄核 |
| [20:25] | and he fell down. | 摔倒了 |
| [20:26] | Don’t use the fact that everyone’s distracted | 别趁大家因此没注意你时 |
| [20:28] | to go back and steal more olives.” | 又跑回去偷更多橄榄” |
| [20:29] | I get it. | 我懂了 |
| [20:30] | This ethics stuff, it’s hard, | 伦理道德这事 很难 |
| [20:32] | and it’s confusing. | 让人困惑 |
| [20:34] | It is such a buzzkill. | 还特别没劲 |
| [20:37] | But, it does get rid of the little voice. | 但是脑中那个声音消失了 |
| [20:40] | Because at least I’m trying to do the right thing | 因为至少我在努力去做好事 |
| [20:42] | instead of the crappy thing, | 而非坏事 |
| [20:43] | and I’ve got to say, man, | 我得说 |
| [20:45] | I don’t miss the little voice. | 那个声音消失了挺好 |
| [20:48] | Well… | 好吧 |
| [20:51] | Thank you for helping me today. | 谢谢你今天帮我 |
| [20:56] | You… you really did just come here to chat, didn’t you? | 你真是过来找我聊天 是吧 |
| [21:00] | Just shootin’ the shirt with your old pal Eleanor. | 跟你的老友埃莉诺唠家常 |
| [21:03] | I guess so, yeah, why? | 是吧 怎么了 |
| [21:05] | It’s just a very human-y thing to do. | 这个举动很人类啊 |
| [21:08] | Stick with the program, demon buddy. | 继续按计划行事吧 “恶魔小伙伴” |
| [21:10] | I really feel like things are starting to click in our little study group. | 我真心觉得学习小组有进展了 |
| [21:19] | Hello, Michael. | 你好 迈克尔 |
| [21:21] | Shut the door. | 关门 |
| [21:22] | Have a seat. | 坐下 |