| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | I know you have trouble saying how you feel. | 我知道你不擅于表达自己的情感 |
| [00:02] | I love you too. | 我也爱你 |
| [00:03] | I’ve never been that certain about anything. | 我这辈子都没这么确信过 |
| [00:04] | I once even tried to rent socks. | 我甚至曾想过租袜子 |
| [00:08] | Do you have any feelings like that for me again now? | 你现在还对我有那种感觉吗 |
| [00:11] | I’m sorry, but I-I don’t think I do. | 抱歉 我好像没有 |
| [00:14] | Thank you for helping me today. | 谢谢你今天帮我 |
| [00:15] | You really did just come here to chat, didn’t ya? | 你真是过来找我聊天 是吧 |
| [00:18] | It’s just a very humany thing to do. | 这个举动很人类啊 |
| [00:21] | I really feel like things are starting to click in our little study group. | 我真心觉得学习小组有进展了 |
| [00:27] | Hello, Michael. | 你好 迈克尔 |
| [00:29] | Shut the door. Have a seat. | 关门 坐下 |
| [00:33] | When you proposed this new form of torture, | 你一开始提出这种新型折磨方案时 |
| [00:35] | we all laughed behind your back. | 我们都在背后嘲笑你 |
| [00:37] | Some people called you names, | 有人在背后骂过你 |
| [00:38] | like “The Thomas Edison of incompetence,” | 比如叫你”无能版托马斯·爱迪生” |
| [00:40] | or “That dick.” | 或”那个傻逼” |
| [00:44] | But against all odds, | 但你排除万难 |
| [00:45] | it seems you’ve pulled it off. | 还真把这事办成了 |
| [00:46] | What you’ve done here is truly amazing. | 你在这里的成果太出色了 |
| [00:48] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [00:49] | Yes, these reports are remarkable. | 是 这些报告着实惊人 |
| [00:51] | Your humans are experiencing emotional torture | 你手下那几个人类经受的情感折磨 |
| [00:53] | at the same level of physical torture, | 达到了我们”眼球螺旋开瓶器大师” |
| [00:55] | created by our squiggliest eyeball corkscrews. | 发明的那一套肉体酷刑的同等水平 |
| [00:57] | I’m jubilant. | 我欣喜若狂 |
| [01:00] | As a result of our success, | 而我们成功的结果就是 |
| [01:02] | I’m getting a seat on the High Council. | 我赢得了最高议会的一席之地 |
| [01:04] | We will greatly expand our neighborhood idea, | 我们要大力推广这个”善地社区”计划 |
| [01:06] | and you will oversee the entire project. | 由你来监管整个项目 |
| [01:09] | You are being promoted. | 你升职了 |
| [01:13] | Your Senior Staff pin. Congratulations. | 这是你的高管胸针 恭喜 |
| [01:16] | This is everything you’ve ever wanted. | 这是你一直以来梦寐以求的 |
| [01:18] | No, this is everything I’ve ever wanted. | 这确实是我一直梦寐以求的 |
| [01:22] | This is everything I’ve ever wanted. | 这是我一直梦寐以求的啊 |
| [01:25] | Wow! You’re really happy? | 好激动哦 你真的高兴吗 |
| [01:28] | Can’t you tell? | 你看不出来吗 |
| [01:29] | I’m basically squealing like a birthday girl. | 我就像个寿星女一样狂喜啊 |
| [01:40] | At some point, we should finish discussing yesterday’s events. | 我们该找个时候继续谈谈昨天的事 |
| [01:43] | Do you mean us almost getting married | 你是指我们差点结婚了 |
| [01:45] | and then finding out I was married to Janet | 然后发现我和珍妮特已经结婚了 |
| [01:48] | and then Janet making a boyfriend to forget me | 然后珍妮特”制造”了一个男友来疗情伤 |
| [01:50] | and then Janet getting rid of that boyfriend? | 然后珍妮特又将那个男友打入”虚无”了 |
| [01:53] | Or do you mean when we saw that cool cloud? | 还是指我们看到的那朵漂亮云 |
| [01:56] | The first bit. | 第一点 |
| [01:57] | Perhaps later after Michael briefs us on | 要不等迈克尔跟我们说完 |
| [01:59] | how we’re gonna be fake-tortured today, | 今天要怎么假装被折磨之后 |
| [02:00] | we can just sit down and have a chat? | 我们俩就好好谈谈吧 |
| [02:03] | Yes, good idea. | 非常好 |
| [02:06] | – Yo, Chidi. – Yeah? | -奇迪 -说 |
| [02:07] | You wanna hear about a cool cloud I saw? | 你想听我说下我看到的那朵漂亮云吗 |
| [02:14] | Come in. | 进来吧 |
| [02:17] | I’d like to start by saying something | 首先 我想说 |
| [02:19] | I’ve wanted to say for a very long time. | 这话我憋了很久了 |
| [02:22] | Surprise, idiots! | 惊不惊喜 意不意外 二货们 |
| [02:24] | You’re all in the Bad Place. | 你们全都在”恶地” |
| [02:29] | That’s right, nerds. | 没错 傻子们 |
| [02:31] | Everything around you, all you can see, | 你们周围的一切 所见的一切 |
| [02:33] | is an elaborate system of torture designed just for you. | 都是专门为了折磨你们而精心设计的 |
| [02:39] | Sorry, we’re in the Bad Place? | 慢着 我们在”恶地”吗 |
| [02:42] | Why are you revealing this now? | 你为什么现在告诉我们 |
| [02:45] | Well, it was an experiment, and it worked, | 这只是个试验项目 结果成功了 |
| [02:47] | so my boss is promoting me. | 所以我上司要给我升职 |
| [02:49] | Sorry, I should’ve introduced you. | 抱歉 我该介绍一下 |
| [02:50] | This is my boss, Shawn. | 这是我上司 肖恩 |
| [02:52] | Hello, imbeciles. | 蠢货们 大家好 |
| [02:54] | We need to study everything that happened here. | 我们得研究这里发生的一切 |
| [02:56] | There was a first version that collapsed, | 第一场戏失败了 |
| [02:57] | but the second has been a huge success. | 但第二场戏取得了巨大成功 |
| [02:59] | We’ll be shutting this place down. | 我们要把这里关掉了 |
| [03:01] | The four of you will be brought to the real Bad Pace, | 你们四个会被带往真正的”恶地” |
| [03:03] | where your brains will be removed, studied, | 我们会在那里取出你们的大脑进行研究 |
| [03:05] | and batted around a stadium like beach balls. | 像沙滩排球那样拍着玩儿 |
| [03:07] | Your arms will be peeled like bananas. | 你们的胳膊会像香蕉那样被剥皮 |
| [03:09] | – That part’s just for fun… – Right. | -这部分仅为了娱乐 -没错 |
| [03:11] | And then you will be, you know, tortured forever. | 然后从此你们就永世受折磨了 |
| [03:15] | Michael, is this all true? | 迈克尔 这都是真的吗 |
| [03:17] | Yes, Eleanor, it is. | 是的 埃莉诺 |
| [03:19] | You’re such a rube. | 你真是没文化啊 |
| [03:21] | Thinking you could become a better person. | 竟还幻想你能成为更好的人 |
| [03:24] | You got Chidi to teach you stupid philosophy… | 你让奇迪要你什么破哲学 |
| [03:28] | Like those old farts were gonna provide guidance. | 好像那些陈词滥调能指引走向光明似的 |
| [03:31] | Kierkegaard is so great. | 还”基克格德”特别棒 |
| [03:33] | Have you read ‘Fear and Trembling’? | 还读过什么《恐惧与战兢》吗 |
| [03:36] | Well, I don’t know, have you read “Boring and Stupid”? | 真可笑 你读过《无聊与愚昧》吗 |
| [03:39] | Because that’s what you are. | 因为这就是你们的写照 |
| [03:41] | – Nice. – Thank you. | -损得妙 -谢谢 |
| [03:42] | How long will it take you to shut down the neighborhood? | 你需要多久才能关掉这里 |
| [03:44] | Better part of a day, I’d guess. | 要大半天时间吧 |
| [03:45] | In the meantime, why don’t we have a farewell party here tonight? | 与此同时 不如今晚在这里办一个送别宴吧 |
| [03:48] | You know, just to thank the crew for all the hard work. | 就是慰劳一下幕后工作人员 |
| [03:51] | We could jam to some tunes, you know, destroy the place, | 可以听着混音曲 毁掉这里 |
| [03:54] | play beer pong with Jason’s testicles. | 用杰森的蛋蛋打啤酒乒乓 |
| [03:56] | – What do you say, boss? – Sure. | -意下如何 老大 -好 |
| [03:57] | By the way, I know what you’re thinking. | 另外 我知道你们打什么算盘 |
| [03:58] | “Maybe Janet can help.” | “也许可以找珍妮特帮忙” |
| [04:00] | You’re wrong. | 这事没戏了 |
| [04:01] | Janet? | 珍妮特 |
| [04:03] | Hi, you little cuties. | 各位亲们好呀 |
| [04:05] | I love you guys so much, | 我特别喜欢你们 |
| [04:07] | except for you, Jason, because I hate you. | 除了你 杰森 因为我恨你 |
| [04:10] | I hate you. | 我恨你 |
| [04:11] | Janet, what’s wrong? | 珍妮特 你怎么了 |
| [04:13] | Where’s my phone? | 我手机呢 |
| [04:14] | We put a restraining bracelet on her, | 我们给她带了一个手铐 |
| [04:16] | disrupting her powers. | 干扰她的超能力 |
| [04:18] | It’s made of mag-a-nets. | 这是吸铁制成的 |
| [04:19] | Mag-a-nets. | 磁贴 |
| [04:21] | Mag-a-ne-its. | 吸磁贴 |
| [04:22] | Magnets are supposed to make me feel drunk, | 磁铁本会让我进入醉酒状态 |
| [04:25] | but guess what, I feel fine. | 但我没醉啊 |
| [04:29] | I can’t believe Michael betrayed us again. | 迈克尔竟然又背叛我们了 |
| [04:32] | Why is it always the ones you most expect? | 为什么总是你最信任的人伤你最深 |
| [04:34] | We should’ve seen this coming. | 我们早该料到了 |
| [04:36] | No one can ever truly turn over a new leaf. | 什么洗心革面 开启新篇章 都是屁话 |
| [04:38] | Sure, Ben Affleck told me he’d matured as an artist | 就像本·阿弗莱克跟我说 他执导完《逃离慕尼黑》之后 |
| [04:40] | after he directed “Argo,” | 就进阶为艺术家了 |
| [04:42] | but then, right on schedule, it was, | 但结果 马上又说 |
| [04:43] | “Guess what, Tahani, I’m gonna be Batman.” | “塔哈妮 我要去演《蝙蝠侠》 了” |
| [04:46] | There’s only one option. | 现在就只有一个办法了 |
| [04:47] | Sean clearly doesn’t know that | 肖恩显然不知道 |
| [04:48] | Michael has rebooted this neighborhood 800 times. | 迈克尔已经导演了八百场戏 |
| [04:51] | I say we trade that information for some kind of reduced sentence. | 我们不如跟他坦白 以此换取宽大处理 |
| [04:54] | Chidi, they’re monsters. | 奇迪 他们都是大魔头 |
| [04:56] | Who’s to say they won’t agree to a deal, | 谁知道他们会不会假意与你达成协议 |
| [04:58] | hear what we have to say, | 然后等你把信息告诉他 |
| [04:59] | and turn around and install us into their horrible human zoo? | 就马上食言 将你关进可怕的”人类动物园” |
| [05:02] | There’s no other option. | 没有其它办法了 |
| [05:03] | There’s no way for a human to get that bracelet off of Janet. | 人类无法解开珍妮特的手铐 |
| [05:06] | But if there were, | 但假设有 |
| [05:06] | we could get her to call us a train to Mindy St. Claire’s house. | 我们可以让她叫一辆火车去明迪·圣克莱尔家 |
| [05:09] | We know for a fact that the people from the Bad Place can’t follow us there, | 我们知道”恶地”的人没法跟着我们去到中间地带 |
| [05:12] | and I vote for that. | 我赞成这么做 |
| [05:13] | I vote we… | 我赞成… |
| [05:15] | No, sorry, and no offense, Jason, | 抱歉 别往心里去 杰森 |
| [05:18] | but the stakes here are too high to let someone | 但这事关我们的生死存亡 |
| [05:20] | with your limited intellectual processing capacity weigh in. | 你这个智商重灾区 就别插言了 |
| [05:23] | – I was gonna agree with you. – Great. | -我想说 我同意你的做法 -很好 |
| [05:25] | Well, that’s two votes for my plan. | 那就是两票同意我的计划了 |
| [05:27] | Eleanor, what do you think? | 埃莉诺 你觉得呢 |
| [05:29] | Trade information on Michael | 是去告迈克尔的状 |
| [05:30] | or try to escape to the Medium Place? | 还是想办法逃到中间地带 |
| [05:33] | Neither. | 都不行 |
| [05:35] | I vote we ignore everything Michael just said | 我赞成我们该忽略迈克尔刚才说的一切 |
| [05:36] | and blindly assume he’s still on our side. | 盲目地相信他还是我们的队友 |
| [05:40] | Who’s with me? | 谁同意这么做 |
| [05:42] | Sorry, but when all this started, | 慢着 一开始结盟时 |
| [05:45] | you’re the one who told us that Michael wasn’t trustworthy. | 你最不相信迈克尔了 |
| [05:47] | Now you want us to trust him? | 你现在反而要我们相信他吗 |
| [05:49] | Yes, for one very specific and rock-solid reason: | 对 就因为一个绝对靠谱的特定原因 |
| [05:54] | What’s-his-name. | 他叫什么来着 |
| [05:55] | Who? | 谁 |
| [05:56] | The dude, the super depressing religious guy. | 那位大哥 那个超级沉闷虔诚的大哥 |
| [05:59] | The–the real buzzkill whose name I can never remember. | 他的理论很扫兴 我永远记不住他的名字 |
| [06:01] | Keeblers–car. | 基博乐车 |
| [06:03] | Kyra. | 卡亚 |
| [06:04] | Sedgwick? | 塞吉维克[六十年代影星] |
| [06:05] | I love her. Dear friend of mine. | 我特别喜欢她 我和她关系可好了 |
| [06:08] | Not important right now. | 我又瞎显摆了 |
| [06:10] | – Kierkegaard? – Yes, Kierkegaard. | -基克格德 -对 基克格德 |
| [06:12] | When Michael was mocking us about trying to become better people, | 迈克尔嘲笑我们想努力做个好人时 |
| [06:15] | Whose name did he use, huh? | 他提到了谁的名字 |
| [06:18] | Kierkegaard. | 基克格德 |
| [06:19] | I think he was sending us a message | 我觉得他是偷偷暗示我们 |
| [06:20] | to take a leap of faith, | 放手一搏[信仰飞跃] |
| [06:22] | ’cause that was Kierkegaard’s thing, right? | 因为这是基克格德的理论吧 |
| [06:24] | Yes, although it’s probably better translated as a leap into faith. | 是 但最好翻译成”跃入信仰” |
| [06:27] | It’s so hard to be your friend. | 跟你做朋友就像历劫啊 |
| [06:29] | Yep, sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [06:30] | Michael was telling us to trust him. | 迈克尔是想告诉我们 要相信他 |
| [06:32] | I had a long talk with him the other night | 我那晚和他好好谈了谈心 |
| [06:34] | about the whole Derek incident. | 关于整件德里克的事 |
| [06:36] | Dude was shook, talking about ethics | 他很惊人 讲起了道德 |
| [06:39] | and all spiraling about human stuff. | 人情味十足 |
| [06:41] | I think he’s on our side. | 我觉得他还是队友 |
| [06:43] | Or maybe he’s a supernatural demon | 也许他只是个超级大恶魔 |
| [06:45] | designed to torture people, | 专门用来折磨人类 |
| [06:47] | who just got offered his dream job, | 又刚得到了梦寐以求的职位 |
| [06:48] | and has flipped on us like a ten-stone griddle chip. | 所以就像翻十角烤饼一样 翻脸不认人了 |
| [06:52] | It’s a large pancake. | 没听过这种大薄饼吗 |
| [06:53] | Come on, people, you can get these from context. | 亲们 要跟上我的文化底蕴啊 |
| [06:56] | Look, maybe Michael jumped back to the dark side, | 迈克尔是有可能又变邪恶了 |
| [06:58] | but I don’t think so. | 但我不这么觉得 |
| [07:01] | I think he’s gonna help us escape. | 我觉得他是想帮我们逃跑 |
| [07:02] | I know it sounds crazy, | 我知道这听起来很疯狂 |
| [07:04] | but if it weren’t crazy, | 但如果不疯狂 |
| [07:05] | they wouldn’t call it a leap of faith. | 就不会叫”放手一搏”了吧 |
| [07:08] | They would call it a… | 就会叫成是… |
| [07:10] | sit of doubting. | “坐拥怀疑” |
| [07:15] | I never thought I’d be the one to say it, | 我没想过会是我来说这种话 |
| [07:17] | but this is getting out of hand. | 但局势已经失控了 |
| [07:20] | I think we gotta go to the cops. | 我们得去找警察了 |
| [07:22] | What cops? Where do you think we are? | 啥警察 你以为我们这是在哪啊 |
| [07:27] | Before tonight’s party, | 今晚的送别宴开始之前 |
| [07:28] | I’d love to talk more about your strategy for torturing Tahani. | 我想和你再谈一下你对塔哈妮的折磨方式 |
| [07:31] | I’m impressed you were able to make her fall in love with Jason. | 你有两下子啊 竟让她爱上了杰森 |
| [07:34] | – She must be miserable. – Yeah. | -她肯定痛苦死了 -是 |
| [07:36] | Humans make a lot of mistakes when they’re horny. | 人类精虫上脑 欲火难耐 就会犯下很多错误 |
| [07:43] | Boss, give me a second here. | 老大 等我一下 |
| [07:47] | – What the here, dude? – Vicky– | -什么情况 老兄 -薇琪 |
| [07:48] | My hard work paid off for you, | 我的辛劳成果给你做嫁衣了 |
| [07:50] | and now you’re just taking all the credit. | 所有功劳都被你抢走了 |
| [07:52] | Vicky, Vicky, this can work out great for both of us | 薇琪 薇琪 这对我们俩都有好处 |
| [07:55] | if we play our cards right. | 前提是我们谨慎行事 |
| [07:57] | Shawn thinks that this is attempt number two, right? | 肖恩以为这是第二场戏 对吧 |
| [08:00] | Now, if I tell him that you’ve been in charge of this version, | 如果我告诉他 是你负责导演这一场戏 |
| [08:02] | he’s eventually gonna find out that | 他最终就会发现 |
| [08:04] | there’ve been hundreds of failed versions. | 已经导演了几百场失败的戏了 |
| [08:08] | Right. | 对 |
| [08:09] | And if that happens, we’re all going down. | 如果被他发现 我们就都会死翘翘了 |
| [08:11] | So, spread the word. | 所以传令下去 |
| [08:12] | No one talks about the reboots. | 谁都不准透露重启的事 |
| [08:15] | Fine, but you better make this right. | 好 但你最好给我个满意的交代 |
| [08:18] | Mama want promotion, ya heard? | 老娘要升职加薪走向人生巅峰 懂不 |
| [08:28] | Hello, you dummies! | 缺心眼儿们好啊 |
| [08:32] | This neighborhood was a labor of hate for many people here, | 这个社区对在坐很多人来说 是为了憎恨而建立 |
| [08:36] | so I thought that we should celebrate with an art form | 所以我觉得我们该以一种艺术形式来庆祝 |
| [08:40] | that we literally invented here in the Bad Place: | 这是我们”恶地”发明的活动 |
| [08:43] | the comedy roast! | “吐槽大会” |
| [08:49] | I see Jason Mendoza’s here. | 杰森·门多萨来了 |
| [08:51] | Jason might not be the smartest guy in the world, | 杰森也许不是世上最聪明的人 |
| [08:53] | but he is the dumbest guy in the world. | 但他绝对是世上最笨的人 |
| [08:58] | Jason, buddy, | 杰森 兄弟 |
| [08:59] | all you had to do was to keep quiet, | 你只要保持沉默就可以了 |
| [09:02] | but you couldn’t stop talking about Kendall Jenner | 但你就是管不住自己 总念叨肯达尔·詹娜[95年生 名模] |
| [09:05] | or that dumb quarterback– what was his name? | 还有那个傻缺四分卫 叫什么来着 |
| [09:07] | Derek Bortles? | 德里克·鲍托斯 |
| [09:09] | Always ranting about Derek Bortles. | 总是嚷嚷德里克·鲍托斯 |
| [09:11] | Lucky for you, my friend, | 对你来说 很幸运啊 |
| [09:13] | Jaguars games are the only ones televised in the Bad Place, | “恶地”这里 就只播美洲虎队的比赛 |
| [09:16] | because they suck! | 因为他们水平太臭了 |
| [09:20] | No, they don’t. | 才不是呢 |
| [09:21] | All we need is a defense | 我们只要有个防守组 |
| [09:23] | and an offense and some rule changes. | 有个进攻组 再改变一下比赛规则就行了 |
| [09:25] | Don’t take it personally. | 别太较真了 |
| [09:26] | He just has to put on a show for the other demons. | 他只是为了做做样子给其他恶魔看 |
| [09:29] | Tahani Al-Jamil, | 塔哈妮·阿贾米尔 |
| [09:31] | elegance, grace, sophistication, | 优雅 高贵 女神般的存在 |
| [09:34] | but enough about your sister. | 但这说的是你姐姐啦 |
| [09:38] | You know what the worst moment of Tahani’s life was? | 你们知道塔哈妮这一生最糟心的时刻是什么吗 |
| [09:42] | When the last song played at one of her parties, | 她所承办的一次宴会 最后一支歌曲响起时 |
| [09:44] | and she would run off and cry | 她会哭着逃跑 |
| [09:46] | because she still hadn’t won her parents’ approval. | 因为她还是没有得到父母的认可 |
| [09:50] | You know the other worst moment of Tahani’s life? | 你们知道塔哈妮这一生另一次糟心的时刻是什么吗 |
| [09:52] | Every other moment of her empty, pointless life! | 她这辈子的每一刻都过得空虚 毫无意义 |
| [09:59] | I see Eleanor Shellstrop is here. | 埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普也在啊 |
| [10:01] | Eleanor and I have a lot in common. | 我和埃莉诺有很多共通点 |
| [10:04] | Now, here’s how you can tell us apart: | 大家可以这样区分我们 |
| [10:06] | one of us is a manipulative demon | 我们其中一个是个心机魔鬼 |
| [10:08] | who’s an expert at making other people miserable, | 特长就是让别人没好日子过 |
| [10:11] | and then the other one… is me! | 而另外一个 就是我 |
| [10:15] | You thought you deserved a Medium Place like Mindy St. Claire? | 你觉得你理应像明迪·圣克莱尔待在中间地带吗 |
| [10:20] | Are you kidding me? | 你做梦呢 |
| [10:22] | You’re bad, Eleanor. | 你是个烂人 埃莉诺 |
| [10:23] | This is exactly the place you should be. | 你就属于这里 |
| [10:26] | Not super funny for a roast there, bud. | 这个吐槽点 不好笑呀 老兄 |
| [10:29] | Sorry, you want a joke? | 抱歉 你想听笑话吗 |
| [10:30] | Okay, you love Chidi, | 好吧 你爱奇迪 |
| [10:31] | and Chidi doesn’t love you back. | 但是奇迪不爱你 |
| [10:33] | Boom! | 暴击吧 |
| [10:35] | Now, that’s funny, | 这个点好笑吧 |
| [10:36] | because it’s very cruel and humiliating. | 因为攻击力强大 让你颜面扫地 |
| [10:39] | I consider you one of my closest friends– | 我把你当作最亲密的朋友… |
| [10:41] | Not now, dude. | 长点眼力见吧 |
| [10:41] | “Speaking of Chidi” is something no one has ever said, | “说到奇迪” 谁都没说过他 |
| [10:45] | because no one talks about Chidi, | 因为没人提起奇迪 |
| [10:47] | because no one likes Chidi, | 因为没人喜欢奇迪 |
| [10:49] | because he’s so annoying about ethics. | 因为他成天满嘴仁义道德 |
| [10:53] | Now, when you taught the Trolley Problem, | 你教大家”电车难题”时 |
| [10:55] | did you secretly wish that | 你有没有私下希望 |
| [10:57] | it could be you who wound up under the trolley? | 被压在电车之下的人是你啊 |
| [11:01] | Because all your students did. | 因为你的学生都这么想的 |
| [11:04] | Chidi, sorry, I got a joke for you, bud. | 奇迪 抱歉 我说个玩笑给你听 |
| [11:07] | – Knock knock. – Who’s there? | -敲敲门 -谁啊 |
| [11:09] | You died alone, because you couldn’t commit to anyone. | 你独孤终老 因为你没法确立长期恋爱关系 |
| [11:13] | You died alone because you couldn’t commit to anyone who? | “你独孤终老 因为你没法确立长期恋爱关系”是谁啊 |
| [11:15] | – No. – Jason Mendoza! | -别 -杰森·门多萨还接话了啊 |
| [11:19] | Okay, that’s all my time. | 好了 我就吐槽到这里了 |
| [11:21] | Let’s tear this mother to the ground! | 让我们尽情毁了这里吧 |
| [11:32] | So, maybe I was wrong, | 也许我想错了 |
| [11:34] | and Michael isn’t on our side. | 迈克尔不是我们的队友 |
| [11:41] | What up, pork sticks? | 怎么样 废柴们 |
| [11:42] | That was “She Hates Me” by Puddle of Mudd. | 刚才那一曲是烂泥巴乐团的《她恨我》 |
| [11:46] | Coming up next, “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” | 接下来请欣赏《老奶奶被驯鹿碾压了》 |
| [11:49] | Idiots. | 享受吧 白痴们 |
| [11:52] | We’re going streaking! | 我们裸奔咯 |
| [11:59] | The one time I think someone isn’t lying to me, | 就这么一次 我觉得别人没骗我 |
| [12:01] | and it bites me in the ash. | 结果就被狠狠打脸了 |
| [12:03] | I guess Michael really did flip back to the bad side. | 看来迈克尔确实背叛了我们 又变邪恶了 |
| [12:06] | Does one think? | 这还用想吗 |
| [12:08] | That roast was the meanest thing I’ve ever seen, | 那个吐槽大会是我平生见过最暴击的事 |
| [12:10] | and I once saw a waiter bring Russell Crowe the wrong tea. | 而我可是见过服务生给罗素·克劳上错过茶呢 |
| [12:13] | Well, we have no choice. | 我们没别的办法了 |
| [12:14] | We go to Shawn, | 我们得去找肖恩 |
| [12:15] | and we tell him that we’ll trade secret information about the reboots, | 我们会把多次重启的秘密告诉他 |
| [12:18] | if he’ll go easy on us, | 来换取宽大处理 |
| [12:19] | and if that doesn’t work, we try to get Janet free | 如果那样行不通 就想办法解开珍妮特的手铐 |
| [12:21] | and head to Mindy’s. Agreed? | 逃往明迪家 同意吗 |
| [12:23] | Yeah, Michael sucks now. | 就是 迈克尔太不厚道了 |
| [12:25] | He pretended to be our friend. | 假装和我们做队友 |
| [12:26] | He’s gonna torture us for eternity. | 还要永世折磨我们 |
| [12:28] | And you know what the worst part is? | 你们知道最差劲的是什么吗 |
| [12:30] | He doesn’t remember the name of my favorite football player. | 他不记得我最爱球员的名字 |
| [12:33] | Definitely not the worst part. | 这绝对不是最差劲的一点 |
| [12:34] | It is to me. | 对我来说是啊 |
| [12:36] | Blake Bortles is a cool name. | 布莱克·鲍托斯是个很帅的名字 |
| [12:38] | Derek Bortles is a dumb name. | 而德里克·鲍托斯这个名字很二 |
| [12:51] | Hey, man, have you told Shawn how hugely important I was yet? | 你和肖恩说过我出了多大力吗 |
| [12:55] | I will get to it. Promise. | 我会说的 我保证 |
| [12:57] | Now, you just relax. Enjoy yourself. | 你就放宽心 好好玩吧 |
| [12:58] | Rip a cat in half. It’s a party, Vicky, come on. | 把猫撕两半 这是狂欢 薇琪 燥起来 |
| [13:04] | What does Michael keep whispering to you? | 迈克尔一直对你说什么悄悄话 |
| [13:06] | Something, something, Vicky, something, something. | 什么薇琪什么的 |
| [13:10] | Can I braid your hair? | 我能给你编辫子吗 |
| [13:11] | – No. – Please? | -不行 -拜托了 |
| [13:12] | No, you know what, I’m good. I got it. | 行了 别了 我可以 |
| [13:15] | Help me get these bracelets off Good Janet. | 帮我把良善版珍妮特的手铐弄下来 |
| [13:17] | No, Shawn put them on her for a reason. | 不行 肖恩是故意拷住她的 |
| [13:19] | I’m not overruling the boss. | 我可不要以下犯下 |
| [13:20] | You’re such a suck-up, Gayle. | 你真没骨气 盖尔 |
| [13:23] | – Can I braid your hair? – No. | -我能给你编头发吗 -不行 |
| [13:24] | Get this– I got it– | 可以 我能行 |
| [13:25] | Get your own bracelet, Victoria. | 你自己去弄个手镯 维多利亚 |
| [13:32] | Okay, you fat dinks, the sun is up, | 好了 酒鬼胖猪们 天亮了 |
| [13:35] | and we’re about to close it down with one last song: | 我们要放最后一曲了 |
| [13:38] | “She Hates Me” by Puddle of Mudd | 烂泥巴乐团的《她恨我》 |
| [13:41] | and “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” | 还有《老奶奶被驯鹿碾压了》 |
| [13:44] | played at the same time. | 两首歌一起放 |
| [13:47] | Honestly, I’m still partial to the old-fashioned scorpion diapers, | 老实说 我还是偏向传统的折磨方式 |
| [13:51] | but you’ve done great work here. | 但你在这里取得了不错的成果 |
| [13:52] | I can’t thank you enough for everything. | 我实在太感谢你了 |
| [13:55] | – Shawn, wait. – No– | -肖恩 等下 -不 |
| [13:57] | I have some very interesting information | 我有话要和你说 |
| [13:59] | about who’s really responsible for this neighborhood. | 关于谁才是这里真正的负责人 |
| [14:01] | Shawn, the humans are escaping. | 肖恩 那几个人类逃跑了 |
| [14:06] | It’s Michael. | 是迈克尔 |
| [14:07] | Michael’s responsible for this neighborhood | 迈克尔是这里的负责人 |
| [14:09] | and everything that’s happening right now. | 眼下发生的一切都由他担责 |
| [14:11] | – Bye! – I… | -再见 -我… |
| [14:13] | – Bad Janet? – What’s cracking, nut-butts? | -邪恶版珍妮特 -找姐什么事 二货 |
| [14:16] | Call us another train immediately. | 马上再给我们叫一辆火车 |
| [14:18] | Party’s over. | 好戏结束了 |
| [14:21] | How did they get Janet’s bracelets off? | 他们怎么把珍妮特的手铐弄下来的 |
| [14:24] | It’s literally impossible for a human to do. | 人类没有这个能力啊 |
| [14:26] | It’s like breathing underwater or driving without texting. | 这就像是在水下呼吸 或开车不发短信 |
| [14:29] | Shawn, I don’t wanna make any accusations, | 肖恩 我不想打小报告 |
| [14:32] | but I accuse Vicky. | 但我要举报薇琪 |
| [14:33] | She asked me to help her take Janet’s bracelets off. | 她之前让我帮她把解下珍妮特的手铐 |
| [14:36] | Vicky, you didn’t. | 薇琪 你怎么这样 |
| [14:38] | She definitely did. She’s jealous. | 就是她干的 她是羡慕嫉妒恨 |
| [14:40] | She’s been trying to sabotage me the entire time. | 她一直想在我背后捅刀子来着 |
| [14:42] | What? No, he’s lying. | 我靠 不 他撒谎 |
| [14:44] | Okay, I did try to get the bracelets off, but I couldn’t. | 我之前确实想解开手铐 但我没解开 |
| [14:48] | Listen to yourself. | 不打自招 |
| [14:49] | You sound crazy. | 你有病啊 |
| [14:50] | Normally I would love hearing a man tell a woman she’s crazy, | 一般来说 我会喜欢听一个男人对一个女人说她有病 |
| [14:53] | but I can’t. | 但我不能 |
| [14:54] | You aided the humans just to spite Michael. | 你协助人类 就为了给迈克尔穿小鞋 |
| [14:56] | You’re not a demon. You’re a jerk. | 你不是个魔鬼 你是个贱人 |
| [14:58] | Wait, this is trick. Michael is the traitor. | 等下 这是圈套 迈克尔才是叛徒 |
| [15:01] | I bet they’re still here somehow. | 我肯定他们还在这里 |
| [15:02] | This place stretches for 1,000 miles. | 这个地方一直延伸到一千英里之外 |
| [15:05] | – Fine. Bad Janet? – What? | -行 邪恶版珍妮特 -干什么 |
| [15:09] | Scan the neighborhood, please. | 扫描一下整个社区 |
| [15:18] | No sign of any humans, | 没发现人类 |
| [15:19] | but I actually did find something for Vicky. | 但我为薇琪找到了一样东西 |
| [15:22] | What? | 什么 |
| [15:26] | – Bad Janet, great stuff as always. – No duh. | -邪恶版珍妮特 总这么调皮呀 -必须的 |
| [15:29] | – And as for Vicky… – No, wait– | -至于薇琪 -别 等下 |
| [15:32] | This is a PR disaster. | 这事要传出去就完了 |
| [15:33] | We have to keep it all under wraps. | 我们得将此事保密 |
| [15:35] | Get her on the train, | 把她带上车 |
| [15:37] | and if anyone else says a single word of what happened here to anyone, | 如果有人向外界透露这里发生的事 |
| [15:40] | you will be in a cocoon just like Vicky, | 你们就会像薇琪一样被封入茧中 |
| [15:42] | and it is gooey in there. | 里面可黏糊了 |
| [15:45] | How do we get the humans back from Mindy’s? | 我们怎么把那几个人类从明迪家抓回来 |
| [15:48] | They’ve bought themselves some time, | 他们为自己争取了一些时间 |
| [15:49] | but we’ll get them. | 但我们会抓到他们 |
| [15:50] | I’ll start the extradition papers. | 我会起草引渡文件 |
| [15:51] | You stay here. | 你待在这里 |
| [15:52] | I want every trace of this neighborhood erased. | 把这里全部毁掉 不留任何痕迹 |
| [16:05] | That was a bad idea! | 这个主意糟透了 |
| [16:06] | That was so scary so many different times. | 吓得我小心脏爆掉了好几次 |
| [16:08] | I hated that. | 感觉好不酸爽 |
| [16:13] | You guys! | 你们几个啊 |
| [16:16] | I was so scared for you. | 我担心死你们了 |
| [16:18] | I told you he was on our side. | 我就说 他是我们的队友 |
| [16:20] | You’re my friends, and I want… | 你们是我的朋友啊 我想… |
| [16:23] | I wanted to save you. | 我想救你们 |
| [16:25] | Hey, it’s okay, bud. | 没事了 老哥 |
| [16:26] | This is the best summer ever, you guys. | 这个夏天太嗨了 各位 |
| [16:35] | Michael, we never doubted you for a moment. | 迈克尔 我们从未质疑过你 |
| [16:37] | Thank you, Tahani. You’re lying, though, right? | 谢谢你 塔哈妮 但你是骗我的吧 |
| [16:39] | Yes, I am. I doubted you very strongly. | 是 我强烈质疑你了 |
| [16:41] | But then I figured it out. Kierkegaard, baby! | 但然后我看出暗示了 基克格德 真行啊 |
| [16:44] | Leap of faith. | 放手一搏 |
| [16:45] | It’s better translated as a leap into faith. | 最好翻译成”跃入信仰” |
| [16:48] | You remembered! | 你记得我的话啊 |
| [16:51] | Can somebody please explain what happened, | 有人能跟我解释一下是怎么回事吗 |
| [16:53] | and–and can you guys just be a tiny bit quieter? | 还有 你们能小点声吗 |
| [16:56] | Because, I’ve been drunk on magnets all day, | 因为我被磁铁拷了一天 一直醉着 |
| [16:58] | and–and I can literally hear every sound in the universe. | 我能听到全宇宙每一个细微的声音 |
| [17:02] | Basically, Michael sent us a code, | 故事梗概就是 迈克尔暗中向我们发密语 |
| [17:05] | and we had to crack it. | 我们得破解密语 |
| [17:06] | I figured out the first clue– | 我破解了第一条线索 |
| [17:08] | No, you didn’t, I did. | 才不是你 明明是我 |
| [17:09] | I was there, though! | 但我当时在场 |
| [17:11] | Blake Bortles is a cool name. | 布莱克·鲍托斯是个很帅的名字 |
| [17:12] | Derek Bortles is a dumb name. | 而德里克·鲍托斯这个名字很二 |
| [17:15] | Yes… | 没错 |
| [17:16] | Derek Bortles is indeed | 德里克·鲍托斯 |
| [17:19] | a very dumb name. | 确实是个很二的名字 |
| [17:22] | It’s a clue. | 这是条线索 |
| [17:23] | There’s no way Michael would’ve forgotten the name Blake Bortles. | 迈克尔绝不可能忘记德里克·鲍托斯的名字 |
| [17:26] | You say it a million times a day. | 你每天念叨无数次 |
| [17:28] | ‘Cause he’s the best. | 因为他最厉害 |
| [17:28] | No, he’s not, and even I know that. | 不 他不厉害 这点连我都知道 |
| [17:31] | Michael was telling us to use Derek, | 迈克尔是想告诉我们利用德里克 |
| [17:33] | Janet’s Derek, for something. | 珍妮特的德里克 来干点什么 |
| [17:35] | There were clues in the roast. | 吐槽大会里都是线索 |
| [17:37] | Everybody, quietly but quickly head to the train station, | 各位 我们赶紧悄悄溜去火车站 |
| [17:41] | but let’s split up, so we don’t draw attention. | 未免让人起疑 我们分开行动 |
| [17:52] | You guys are the worst conspirators. | 你们真是一群猪队友 |
| [17:56] | Okay, what else did Michael say in the roasts that might be meaningful? | 迈克尔在吐槽大会上还说了哪些有言外之意的话 |
| [17:59] | Tahani, do you remember? | 塔哈妮 你记得吗 |
| [18:01] | Well, he said my entire life was pointless and empty. | 他说我这辈子活得空虚 毫无意义 |
| [18:04] | Yeah, but did he say anything we don’t already know? | 对 但他有说一些我们不知道的事吗 |
| [18:06] | Anything that stood out? | 有什么不太平常的事吗 |
| [18:08] | You know what the worst moment of Tahani’s life was? | 你们知道塔哈妮这一生最糟心的时刻是什么吗 |
| [18:12] | When the last song played at one of her parties, | 当她所承办的一次宴会 最后一支歌曲响起时 |
| [18:15] | and she would run off and cry, | 她会哭着逃跑 |
| [18:17] | because she still hadn’t won her parents’ approval. | 因为她还是没有得到父母的认可 |
| [18:19] | That was odd. | 这点很奇怪 |
| [18:21] | A host never runs off during their last song, | 主办人从来都不会在最后一曲时离开 |
| [18:23] | because after it’s over, | 因为宴会结束 |
| [18:24] | you’re supposed to act surprised when everyone drags you on stage | 大家会邀你上台 你要假装很惊讶 |
| [18:27] | and showers you with applause. | 接受大家的喝彩 |
| [18:28] | Maybe Michael wanted us to wait until the end of the party, | 也许迈克尔想让我们等这个送别宴结束时 |
| [18:31] | when everyone was at their most distracted. | 趁大家都分心了 |
| [18:33] | And use Derek to drive the train, | 利用德里克来开火车 |
| [18:35] | because he has some of Janet’s powers. | 因为他也有一点珍妮特的超能力 |
| [18:37] | Janet! | 珍妮特 |
| [18:39] | – Janet… – Yeah? | -珍妮特 -什么事 |
| [18:40] | We need you to go get Derek from your void. | 你得把德里克从虚空里找出来 |
| [18:43] | Okay. | 好 |
| [18:44] | Shoot, where’s my void again? I forget. | 该死 我的虚空在哪来着 我忘了 |
| [18:46] | Yeah, it’s everywhere. | 对了 无处不在 |
| [18:48] | Okay, hang on to your butt cheeks. | 好 我去去就来 |
| [18:52] | Where is he? | 他人呢 |
| [18:55] | I’m never gonna find– there he is. | 我永远都找不到… 找到了 |
| [18:58] | Derek. | 德里克 |
| [18:59] | Derek, we need you to drive this train | 德里克 你得帮我们开火车 |
| [19:01] | and take us to Mindy St. Claire’s house. | 带我们去明迪·圣克莱尔的家 |
| [19:03] | – Can you do that? – Derek. | -你能做到吗 -德里克 |
| [19:07] | Wait… nobody get on that train. | 等下 大家都别上车 |
| [19:10] | – Derek? – Why not? | -德里克 -为什么 |
| [19:12] | Because of what Michael said to me. | 因为迈克尔对我说的话 |
| [19:13] | You thought you deserved a Medium Place? | 你觉得你理应待在中间地带吗 |
| [19:17] | You’re bad, Eleanor. | 你是个烂人 埃莉诺 |
| [19:18] | This is exactly the place you should be. | 你就属于这里 |
| [19:21] | Derek… | 德里克 |
| [19:22] | Michael wants us to stay here for some reason. | 迈克尔不知为何想让我们待在这里 |
| [19:24] | Eleanor, we have a train, a conductor, | 埃莉诺 我们有火车 有开火车的人 |
| [19:27] | and a safe destination. | 还有一个安全的目的地 |
| [19:28] | I’m going to tell you the same thing | 我要说一句 |
| [19:29] | I told Pippa Middleton | 我对皮帕·米德尔顿[王妃妹妹]说的话 |
| [19:30] | right before we went paragliding in Gibraltar. | 就在我们去直布罗陀海峡玩滑翔伞的时候 |
| [19:33] | “Let’s go.” | “走吧”[开始吧] |
| [19:34] | What? That’s what I said. | 这不是显摆 这是事实嘛 |
| [19:36] | Guys, leap of faith. | 各位 放手一搏 |
| [19:37] | Michael said we shouldn’t get on that train. | 迈克尔不让我们上那辆火车 |
| [19:40] | Any minute now, those demons are gonna come looking for us. | 那些恶魔很快就会来找我们了 |
| [19:42] | Where are we supposed to hide? | 我们要藏到哪里 |
| [19:43] | No. | 我勒个去 |
| [19:45] | Now, when you taught the Trolley Problem, | 你教大家”电车难题”时 |
| [19:47] | did you secretly wish that | 你有没有私下希望 |
| [19:48] | it could be you who wound up under the trolley? | 被压在电车之下的人是你啊 |
| [19:52] | Because all your students did. | 因为你的学生都这么想的 |
| [19:56] | All aboard! | 上车吧 |
| [19:58] | The train is here. | 火车来了 |
| [20:00] | It’s a train! | 火车来也 |
| [20:02] | Get onboard? | 上车吧 |
| [20:03] | – Actually, Derek… – Derek. | -是这样 德里克 -德里克 |
| [20:05] | You’re gonna wait until the last song of the night… | 你要等到今晚的最后一曲放完时 |
| [20:07] | Derek. | 德里克 |
| [20:08] | And when you do leave, | 而等你离开时 |
| [20:09] | you’re gonna be flying a solo mission. | 你要单独去完成一个任务 |
| [20:12] | Maximum Derek. | 德里克大冒险 |
| [20:14] | Derek headed off, and when the new train arrived, | 德里克先开走 等新火车来了以后 |
| [20:17] | the four of us crawled underneath | 趁那些酒鬼恶魔没发现 |
| [20:18] | before any of the drunk demons saw us. | 我们四个就爬到车下面 |
| [20:20] | That kept us from being detected | 这样邪恶版珍妮特扫描这里时 |
| [20:22] | when Bad Janet scanned the neighborhood. | 就检测不到我们了 |
| [20:23] | We fooled those mofos like the chumps they are. | 把那群低能恶魔耍得团团转 |
| [20:26] | We got all four clues you left us. | 你留下的四条线索 我们都接收到了 |
| [20:29] | That’s great. | 给你们点赞 |
| [20:30] | Well, I mean, I actually left you more than 1,200 clues, | 我其实留下了一千两百多条线索 |
| [20:34] | because of how primitive your brains are, | 因为毕竟人类的智力有限 |
| [20:36] | but I’m so glad you got enough to figure it out. | 但我很高兴你们找足线索 琢磨明白了 |
| [20:39] | Wait, how did you escape detection, though? | 等下 你怎么做到神不知鬼不觉啊 |
| [20:41] | Well, I’m not ethically proud of this, | 这事从道德上说 很不光彩 |
| [20:43] | but I framed Vicky. | 我陷害了薇琪 |
| [20:46] | It was pretty easy. | 其实很容易 |
| [20:46] | I just kept whispering things into Janet’s ear to make her paranoid. | 我一直在珍妮特耳边说悄悄话 引起她的疑心 |
| [20:50] | I’m sorry, wh-what did you whisper to me? | 抱歉 你对我说了什么啊 |
| [20:52] | I don’t remember. | 我不记得了 |
| [20:55] | Something, something, Vicky, something, something. | 什么薇琪什么的 |
| [20:58] | What does Michael keep whispering to you? | 迈克尔一直对你说什么悄悄话 |
| [20:59] | Something, something, Vicky, something, something. | 什么薇琪什么的 |
| [21:03] | And that made her try to take Janet’s bracelets off, | 欲知详情 她就会想解开珍妮特的手铐 |
| [21:06] | which framed her for the escape. | 从而陷害她是助你们逃跑的帮凶 |
| [21:08] | You… | 你真坏 |
| [21:09] | Guys, I-I want to apologize for roasting you earlier. | 小伙伴们 我想为之前吐槽大会上的事道歉 |
| [21:13] | I had to sell it, because everyone was watching. | 我不得不狠一点 因为大家都瞧着呢 |
| [21:16] | It was funny, though, right? | 但很好笑吧 |
| [21:17] | – Absolutely not. – Tahani’s stuff was perfect– | -一点也不好笑 -吐槽塔哈妮的那段绝了… |
| [21:19] | I mean, no. | 嗯对 不好笑 |
| [21:20] | Guys, let’s just take a moment here. | 小伙伴们 冷静一下 |
| [21:23] | They’re gone, | 他们走了 |
| [21:24] | which means that we won, | 这表示我们赢了 |
| [21:26] | and might actually get a chance to go to the real Good Place. | 我们可能真有机会逃往真正的”善地”了 |
| [21:29] | This is everything we ever wanted. | 这是我们一直梦寐以求的 |
| [21:32] | Speaking of people getting what they want, | 说到让别人得到梦寐以求的东西 |
| [21:33] | I really hope Mindy liked the present we sent her. | 希望明迪喜欢我们送给她的礼物 |
| [21:39] | – Who are you? – Derek. | -你是谁 -德里克 |
| [21:43] | “Thanks for helping us all those times we showed up. | “谢谢你这么多次在我们过去时 帮助我们 |
| [21:45] | To repay you, here’s a willing sex robot | 为了报答你 这是一个心甘情愿的性爱机器人 |
| [21:47] | and two duffel bags full of cocaine.” | 和两大袋可卡因” |
| [21:49] | There are wind chimes where my ding dong should be. | 风铃就是我的小鸡鸡 |
| [21:55] | – I can work with that. – All right! | -姐照样有办法睡你 -棒哎 |