| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | You all right there, chief? | 你没事吧 老大 |
| [00:13] | You look like you lost your lucky bookmark or something. | 你看起来像是把最爱的书签弄丢了 |
| [00:15] | No. Did I? | 天 不是吧 |
| [00:19] | It’s fine. Got it right here. | 没事 书签还在 |
| [00:21] | It’s just that now that we’re actually on the train, | 就是我们现在真的坐上车 |
| [00:24] | heading to Bad Place Headquarters, | 前往”恶地”总部了 |
| [00:26] | this plan is starting to feel slightly– | 我开始觉得这个计划有点… |
| [00:29] | completely insane. | 太疯狂了 |
| [00:30] | This is the only way to get to the Judge? | 只能通过这个方式去找法官吗 |
| [00:32] | I’m afraid so. Yes. | 恐怕是的 |
| [00:34] | See the Judge exists in a sort of neutral zone, | 法官在一个中立区 |
| [00:37] | separate from the Good Place and the Bad Place. | 脱离”善地”与”恶地” |
| [00:39] | The only things there are the Judge’s quarters, | 那里就只有法官的住处 |
| [00:42] | the accounting department, and the Janet warehouse. | 财务部 以及珍妮特仓库 |
| [00:46] | There’s also an IHOP. | 还有一个”煎饼屋” |
| [00:48] | I’m gonna order the Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity! | 我要点一份”水果霜糖奶油薄饼” |
| [00:50] | No. Sorry. | 不行 抱歉 |
| [00:51] | In this realm, | 在这个时空里 |
| [00:52] | IHOP stands for “Interdimensional Hole of Pancakes.” | “煎饼屋”意思是”跨次元煎饼洞” |
| [00:56] | You don’t really eat these pancakes. | 不是你吃那些煎饼 |
| [00:59] | It’s more like they eat you. | 而是煎饼吃你 |
| [01:00] | Okay. I’ll get eggs, then. | 好吧 我就只要炒蛋了 |
| [01:03] | So the only way to get to the Judge is through a portal, | 只能通过一个传送门到达法官的所在地 |
| [01:06] | which is smack-dab in the middle of the main office at Bad Place Headquarters. | 这个传送门就在恶地总部主办公室的正中央 |
| [01:10] | And the only way through the portal is with one of these. | 只有戴着这个通行牌才能穿过传送门 |
| [01:13] | What is that? Is that jewelry? | 这是什么 是首饰吗 |
| [01:15] | Not that it matters. It’s just some jewelry I don’t have. | 我知道不是重点 就是我没有这种首饰 |
| [01:19] | Can I have it? | 能给我吗 |
| [01:19] | These pins are very hard to come by. | 这些通行牌很难弄到 |
| [01:21] | Only upper management types have them. | 只有高层管理人员才有 |
| [01:24] | So you guys will lay low while I get us four more. | 你们先藏起来 等我去弄四个通行牌 |
| [01:26] | Janet doesn’t need one, because for portals, | 珍妮特不需要 因为对于传送门来说 |
| [01:29] | she counts as a carry-on. | 她算是随身行李 |
| [01:31] | I’m luggage. | 我是个行李 |
| [01:32] | I had Janet make you each a Bad Place disguise. | 我让珍妮特给你们每人配置了”恶地”假身份 |
| [01:36] | And everyone who worked in the neighborhood | 而所有之前在”善地”街区工作的人 |
| [01:38] | has been sent back to their previous department. | 都被派回了以前的工作部门 |
| [01:40] | So the chances of you being recognized are very small. | 所以基本上不会有人认出你们 |
| [01:43] | I don’t know. This plan seems complicated. | 怎么说呢 这个计划有点复杂啊 |
| [01:46] | To be fair, you also once said that about an orange. | 你的话没分量 你有次还说橙子很复杂 |
| [01:49] | They don’t make sense. | 橙子多不合逻辑啊 |
| [01:50] | Apples, you eat their clothes. | 苹果 你吃”外皮”吧 |
| [01:52] | But oranges you don’t? | 但是橙子怎么就不吃外皮呢 |
| [01:54] | Forget this plan! | 别管这个计划了 |
| [01:55] | I say we just huck a Molotov cocktail | 我提议 我们就做个燃烧弹 |
| [01:57] | and… run through the portal. | 然后一路穿过传送门 |
| [01:59] | I think we should go with Michael’s plan. | 我们还是按迈克尔的计划来吧 |
| [02:02] | I’m telling you, Molotov cocktails work. | 说真的 燃烧弹很好用啊 |
| [02:04] | Any time I had a problem, and I threw a Molotov cocktail, | 每次我一遇到麻烦 我就扔一个燃烧弹 |
| [02:08] | Right away, I had a different problem. | 转眼之间 就变成其它麻烦了 |
| [02:10] | He makes a strong case. | 他说得好有道理 我竟无言以对 |
| [02:20] | Okay, now, you’re all going to need aliases. | 你们都需要假名 |
| [02:22] | Cool. I’m gonna be Diana Tremaine. | 好 我就叫戴安娜·特里梅因 |
| [02:25] | That was the name on my fake ID in high school. | 这是我高中时假身份证的名字 |
| [02:28] | Her address was 123 Whatever Street, canada City, Canada. | “她”的地址是加拿大 “加拿大市” 随便街123号 |
| [02:32] | Arizona bouncers are the best. | 亚利桑那的酒吧门卫最通情达理了 |
| [02:34] | Character work! Such fun. | 演戏啊 真有趣 |
| [02:37] | I actually dabbled in a bit of acting after university. | 大学毕业后 我其实在演艺界有小试牛刀 |
| [02:39] | Although mostly I just stood around | 虽然我大部分就是站在那儿 |
| [02:41] | while Baz Luhrmann just threw glitter on me. | 巴兹·鲁赫曼朝我撒闪片 |
| [02:43] | I shall be Rhonda Mumps. | 我要叫朗达·芒普斯 |
| [02:46] | And I work down at the hot dog factory. | 我在热狗工厂工作 |
| [02:48] | You need to be more specific. | 你得说得再具体一些 |
| [02:49] | There are nine hot dog torture departments. | 有九个热狗酷刑室 |
| [02:52] | Making people into, stuffing people with– | 把人做成热狗 把热狗塞进人体 |
| [02:55] | Stuffing people sounds fun. | 塞热狗听起来很好玩 |
| [02:57] | Is that like shoving them into the throats of vegans? | 像是那种往素食主义者嘴里塞热狗吗 |
| [03:00] | Yes. Throats. | 对 往嘴里塞 |
| [03:02] | I know what my secret identity is. | 我想到我的秘密身份了 |
| [03:04] | You cannot be Blake Bortles. | 你不能叫布雷克·保托斯 |
| [03:06] | – Fine. Then I’ll be Jake– – Don’t say Jortles. | -行 那我就叫杰克 -别说是杰托斯 |
| [03:09] | Jortles! | 杰托斯 |
| [03:09] | And I work in the Molotov cocktail department. | 我在燃烧弹部门工作 |
| [03:12] | Boy, you know, I thought you guys would be more worried about this. | 天 我还以为你们会焦躁不安呢 |
| [03:15] | We’ve been knee-deep in demons for, like, 800 reboots now. | 我们都演了八百场和恶魔斗智斗勇的戏了 |
| [03:18] | Lying about who we are is second nature. | 隐瞒身份 还不信手拈来 |
| [03:22] | Chidi? | 奇迪 |
| [03:23] | I hate this. I hate lying. It’s not permissible. | 我不喜欢这样 我讨厌说谎 不应该骗人 |
| [03:25] | – I can’t do this. – Boy. | -我做不到 -要命了 |
| [03:29] | Jeez Louise! | 额滴神呐 |
| [03:30] | Looks like Chidi has a real case of the Mondays, am I right? | 看来奇迪得了”周一综合征”了 |
| [03:34] | Hey, pass the NASCAR ketchup. | 把”亨氏番茄酱”拿来 |
| [03:39] | Hey, buddy. | 小哥 |
| [03:41] | Look if you don’t want to lie | 如果你不想骗人 |
| [03:42] | because it conflicts with your moral principles, I get it. | 是因为这有违你的道德准则 我能理解 |
| [03:47] | No one’s gonna be mad at you. | 没人会因此责怪你 |
| [03:48] | – Really? – No, dumbass! | -真的吗 -当然不是了 傻蛋 |
| [03:50] | I’m lying to you to make you feel better. | 我是说谎来安慰你 |
| [03:52] | See? Sometimes lying is awesome. | 瞧见没 有时候说谎是好事 |
| [03:55] | Plus I said dumbass. Cursing. | 另外 我说了傻蛋 可以骂人了 |
| [03:57] | How I’ve missed you. | 我太想念这种感觉了 |
| [03:58] | Look, Eleanor, our goal here is to appear | 埃莉诺 我们的目标是 |
| [04:01] | in front of a judge who is going to judge us. | 找一个法官才评判我们 |
| [04:04] | What if I lie down here and I lose 12 points, | 万一我在这里说谎了 我丢了十二分 |
| [04:06] | and then we get in front of the Judge, and I’m 12 points short? | 然后到法官面前时 我少了十二分怎么办 |
| [04:09] | Or what if the Judge won’t even take our case at all | 再或者 万一完全不理我们的案子 |
| [04:12] | because we lied to get there? | 就因为我们是一路骗过去的呢 |
| [04:13] | Kant says that lying is always wrong, | 康德说 骗人始终都是错 |
| [04:15] | and I follow that maxim. | 这是我的做人准则 |
| [04:17] | So you can’t even lie to demons? | 你都不能骗恶魔吗 |
| [04:18] | They’re trying to torture us, man. | 他们想折磨死我们 |
| [04:20] | We’re behind enemy lines! | 我们处在敌后啊 |
| [04:21] | Well, principles aren’t principles | 原则就是原则 |
| [04:22] | when you pick and choose when you’re going to follow them. | 不管何时 都要遵从自己的原则 |
| [04:26] | I won’t lie about who I am. | 我不会向别人谎称我的身份 |
| [04:29] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [04:32] | I understand, and I’m cool with it. | 我理解 我接受 |
| [04:35] | You’re lying right now, aren’t you? | 你在说谎 对吧 |
| [04:37] | Yes. I want to strangle you. | 太对了 我想掐死你 |
| [04:41] | What even is this thing? | 这是个什么玩意儿 |
| [04:44] | I hate suits. | 我讨厌西装 |
| [04:46] | They remind me of court and going to court | 让我想起法庭 以及上法庭 |
| [04:49] | and being my own lawyer against the advice of the judge in court | 以及在法庭上不顾法官劝阻而为自己辩护 |
| [04:52] | and getting immediately convicted in court. | 以及立即被赶出法庭 |
| [04:55] | I think you look nice. | 我觉得你很帅 |
| [04:57] | I think you look sexy. | 我觉得你很撩人 |
| [04:59] | Here, I got you this to help your disguise. | 给 我准备了这个帮你伪装身份 |
| [05:02] | A briefcase? | 手提箱吗 |
| [05:05] | Take my credit card to the hedge fund. | 把我的信用卡交给对冲基金 |
| [05:06] | I’ll meet you at the martini store. | 我们在马蒂尼商店见 |
| [05:08] | You’re gonna get caught. Give me the briefcase back. Thanks. | 你会被人识破 还是还给我吧 谢谢 |
| [05:11] | Janet, you need to get in character too. | 珍妮特 你也得进入角色 |
| [05:13] | Now I know you look like a Bad Janet, | 你的外表和邪恶版珍妮特一样 |
| [05:16] | but can you act like one? | 但你能表现得和她一样吗 |
| [05:17] | I have gained a lot of new skills recently. | 我最近捕获了很多技能点 |
| [05:19] | For example, I learned how to be passive-aggressive. | 比如 我学会了如何消极攻击 |
| [05:21] | Totally fine that you guys haven’t noticed. | 你们没意识到 我也不”介意” |
| [05:25] | – Let’s practice. – OK. | -练习一下吧 -好 |
| [05:26] | I’m going to make a simple request, | 我会提出一个小要求 |
| [05:27] | and you’re going to give me that patented Bad Janet attitude. | 你要拿出邪恶版珍妮特的恶劣态度 |
| [05:30] | Can I have a glass of water? | 可以给我一杯水吗 |
| [05:32] | Here you go! | 给 |
| [05:33] | Nope. Let’s try again. Be mean. | 不对 再来一次 要傲娇恶毒 |
| [05:36] | Bad Janet, can I have a glass of water? | 邪恶版珍妮特 可以给我一杯水吗 |
| [05:39] | No. I would never give you that, you dumb person. | 不行 我绝不会给你 你个蠢人类 |
| [05:46] | Janet, what’s that behind your back? | 珍妮特 你身后是什么 |
| [05:47] | – Nothing. – Give it to me. | -没什么 -给我 |
| [05:48] | It’s a glass of water. | 是一杯水 |
| [05:50] | – And a back-up glass. – Boy. | -怕你不够 还有一杯 -没救了 |
| [05:53] | It’s okay. We’ll keep working. | 没关系 继续练习 |
| [05:57] | We’re here. | 我们到了 |
| [06:00] | All trains today are delayed by three hours, | 今日所有火车延误三小时 |
| [06:03] | just like they are every day. | 就跟往常的每一天一样 |
| [06:07] | All passengers, | 所有乘客 |
| [06:08] | you all suck, and you’re ugly. | 你们没档次 没颜值 |
| [06:11] | Keep walking. | 继续走 |
| [06:12] | Keep your heads down. | 默默低头走 |
| [06:15] | – And you are ugly. – Just act unnatural. | -你们丑爆了 -表现自然点 |
| [06:21] | Hey, guys. Sorry, you wait here, | 各位 抱歉 你们要在这里等着 |
| [06:23] | while I go get us some more of these pins. | 我去给你们弄几个通行牌 |
| [06:25] | But what is this place? | 这是什么地方 |
| [06:26] | It’s just a place. You know. An area or location. | 就是个地方 一个区域 场所 |
| [06:29] | – It’s pretty straightforward. – The Museum of Human Misery? | -简单明了 -“人类受难博物馆” |
| [06:32] | 人类受难博物馆 低级趣味名人堂 | |
| [06:32] | Yeah. Okay. It’s a torture museum. | 好吧 是个酷刑博物馆 |
| [06:35] | Famous examples of bad behavior, | 恶劣行为的著名例子 |
| [06:37] | and explanations of the torture they earned. | 以及详解了他们活该受到的刑罚 |
| [06:39] | Is there a gift shop? | 有纪念品店吗 |
| [06:40] | Jason, this is Hell. Of course there’s a gift shop. | 杰森 这里是”地狱” 当然有纪念品店了 |
| [06:43] | It’s the least horrifying room. | 这是最不吓人的屋子 |
| [06:46] | It’s the Hall of Low-Grade Crappiness. | 这里是低级趣味名人堂 |
| [06:50] | First person to floss in an open plan office? | 第一个在公共办公区使用牙线的人 |
| [06:57] | Well, she deserves to be tortured. She’s a monster. | 她活该受酷刑 太不讲究了 |
| [07:00] | This was the safest place I could think of. | 我印象中 这里最安全了 |
| [07:02] | No one ever comes in here. | 一般没有人会过来 |
| [07:03] | Guys, if you do leave this room, | 各位 如果你们离开这里 |
| [07:06] | you’re gonna see things that will haunt you for eternity. | 会见到给你们留下永世心理阴影的景象 |
| [07:10] | Okay. Back soon. Bye! | 好了 很快回来 再见 |
| [07:13] | Be careful, okay? | 你自己小心 |
| [07:16] | Be careful? | 你让我小心 |
| [07:18] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [07:19] | Eleanor, are you worried about me? | 埃莉诺 你是在担心我吗 |
| [07:23] | Yeah. I’m worried. | 是啊 我担心啊 |
| [07:24] | I mean ’cause you’re our ticket out of here, genius. | 因为我们得靠你离开这里 老大哥 |
| [07:27] | Don’t go getting all goopy on me. | 别琼瑶奶奶上身 |
| [07:29] | Worry about them. I’ll be fine. | 你担心他们吧 我不会有事 |
| [07:31] | Okay. | 好 |
| [07:36] | First man to send an unsolicited picture of his genitals. | 第一个主动把自己裸照发出去的人 |
| [07:47] | First waiter to approach a diner with an empty plate | 第一个拿着空盘子给客人的服务生 |
| [07:50] | and sarcastically say, “I guess you hated it.” | 还贱贱地调侃 “你不喜欢吧” |
| [07:55] | First white person to grow dreadlocks. | 第一个留脏辫的白人 |
| [07:57] | And first person to call Ultimate Frisbee “Ultimate.” | 还是第一个把”极限飞盘”称为”极品”的人 |
| [08:01] | This dude rules! | 这哥们是我男神啊 |
| [08:03] | All right, everyone. We’ve got a lot of work to do. | 好了 各位 我们还有很多活要干 |
| [08:05] | Why don’t you set up the bar over by that wall? | 你在墙边开一个吧台 好吧 |
| [08:08] | Why don’t you roll off your mom and do it yourself, you fat dink? | 你滚蛋 自己来 好吧 死肥猪 |
| [08:16] | Set up more of those tables. We’re expecting a big crowd. | 再多弄摆些桌子 会来很多宾客 |
| [08:19] | You got it, you piece of butt. | 没问题 你个烂屁屁 |
| [08:23] | Son of a bitch! | 你大爷的 |
| [08:24] | Still happy I can swear now, | 还是很高兴可以随便骂人 |
| [08:26] | but everything else about this is very bad! | 但是这下要大事不妙了 |
| [08:33] | Hey, boss. I’m back. | 头儿 我回来了 |
| [08:34] | Welcome home. Axe up. | 欢迎回来 喷点香水振奋一下 |
| [08:38] | New scent! “Transformers!” | 新产品 “变形金刚” |
| [08:40] | Yes. It makes you smell the way “Transformers” movies make you feel. | 对 味道就和电影《变形金刚》给人的感觉 |
| [08:44] | Still can’t believe those jagoffs got away from us. | 还是无法相信那几个傻蛋逃走了 |
| [08:46] | – Really zips my tip. – Yeah. | -真让人蛋疼 -是啊 |
| [08:49] | Anyway I drew up some extradition papers to get them back from Mindy’s. | 总之 我起草了一些引渡文件 把他们从明迪家抓回来 |
| [08:53] | I think I’ll take a few of my most trusted staff, | 我想带着几个信得过的手下 |
| [08:55] | hop in the portal, file those with the Judge, | 进入传送门 将其提交给法官 |
| [08:58] | quick stop for pancakes, and then I’ll head on back. | 顺便去一些”煎饼屋” 然后就回来 |
| [09:02] | By the way, I’m gonna need four pins for my crew. | 话说 我需要四个通行牌给手下 |
| [09:06] | This is very thorough. However– | 计划很周全 但是… |
| [09:10] | Is that where we’re putting top priority files nowadays? | 我们如今都把重要文件放进垃圾桶吗 |
| [09:13] | We won’t need extradition papers. | 我们不需要引渡文件了 |
| [09:15] | Plans are already in motion to get the humans back in a different way. | 已有另一套方案 准备把那几个人类抓回来了 |
| [09:24] | Man. This is not good. | 天 这可不妙 |
| [09:27] | This is not good! | 大事不妙啊 |
| [09:30] | All right. Well, we can’t just stand here in a group. | 好了 我们不能就傻傻站在这里 |
| [09:33] | It looks too conspicuous. | 太引人注目了 |
| [09:34] | I’ll go with Tahani. Chidi, go with Jason. | 我和塔哈妮一组 奇迪和杰森一组 |
| [09:36] | That way, Jason’s unearned confidence | 这样一来 杰森这人盲目自信 |
| [09:38] | lets him do all the talking, and you don’t have to lie. | 让他各种胡侃 你就不用说谎话骗人了 |
| [09:41] | – Okay? – Come on, Diana, let’s hit the bar. | -好吗 -走吧 戴安娜 我们去吧台 |
| [09:43] | I’m gonna get me a tall glass of piping hot corn syrup and a scooter, | 我要来一杯热滚滚的玉米糖浆和一个滑板车 |
| [09:47] | so I can roll around the mall. | 好让我在商场里轻松穿行 |
| [09:49] | – That’s really good. – Thank you. | -台词真不错 -过奖 |
| [09:52] | Hors d’oeuvre? | 开胃菜 |
| [09:53] | What do you got? | 有什么 |
| [09:54] | Soul food from Maine, bagels from Arkansas, | 缅因州的南方黑人传统食物 阿肯色州的百吉饼 |
| [09:56] | Hawaiian pizza of course, | 当然还有夏威夷披萨了 |
| [09:58] | and egg salad from a hospital vending machine in Azerbaijan. | 以及阿塞拜疆一个医院自动贩卖机里的鸡蛋沙拉 |
| [10:02] | Have a terrible evening. | 祝你今晚不开心 |
| [10:04] | No way! Trent, is that you? | 不是吧 特伦特 是你吗 |
| [10:07] | Who else could it be? | 还能是谁啊 |
| [10:09] | Come on, dab it out. Boom boom! ‘Sup? I’m Chet. | 来 抱一个 好兄弟 你好 我叫切特 |
| [10:14] | Jake is my name, Molotov cocktail is my game. | 杰克我本名 燃弹我本命 |
| [10:17] | I think school is lame, I got a tattoo of David Blaine. | 学校很不行 魔术师刺青 |
| [10:20] | – What? – Tight! Ball tap! | -杰克有嘻哈啊 -说唱很赞 打蛋蛋 |
| [10:24] | Dude. Ball tap! | 好玩啊 打蛋蛋 |
| [10:27] | That was a firm ball tap, bro. | 你这一拳挺重啊 小哥 |
| [10:28] | Anyway, your boy Trent and I worked together in partial decapitations. | 我和你朋友特伦特曾一起在斩首部门干过 |
| [10:33] | When’d you leave decap? 800 years ago? | 你什么离开的 八百年前吧 |
| [10:35] | Something like that. | 差不多吧 |
| [10:36] | I just joined a new department. | 我刚进了一个新部门 |
| [10:37] | Toxic Masculinity. We torture internet trolls, frat dudes. | 阳刚毒气部 专门折磨网上的喷子 大学兄弟会的公子哥儿 |
| [10:41] | Actually started as a training program to prep for | 其实我们刚开始了一个培训项目 |
| [10:44] | when the “Girls Gone Wild” dude gets here. | 等制作《野女孩》那家伙来了之后 对付他 |
| [10:45] | – Joe Francis. – The one. | -乔·弗朗西斯[制作人] -就是那货 |
| [10:46] | Legend! | 他是个传奇啊 |
| [10:48] | Bro-hams! Get over here and meet my top dog Trent. | 兄弟们 来认识一下业界大牛 特伦特 |
| [10:51] | Dude’s a straight beast when it comes to torture. | 他可是酷刑界一哥 |
| [10:53] | ‘Sup, bro? | 你好啊 |
| [10:54] | It’s actually pretty choice that we’re running into you right now. | 我们重遇的时机正是时候 |
| [10:57] | My top dog Dirk here, he got stuck with a new case. | 我兄弟德克 他手里有个新活儿搞不定 |
| [11:00] | He can’t crack it. Hit them with it, D-Money. | 他想不到招儿了 说一下吧 小德 |
| [11:02] | So I’m trying to torture this guy, right? Brant? | 我要去折磨一个人 布兰特 |
| [11:05] | Brant was a total lord. | 布兰特是个糙汉子 |
| [11:06] | He got kicked off of Rob Gronkowski’s party cruise | 他被赶出了格隆·科夫斯基的邮轮派对 |
| [11:09] | for throwing a lobster at a stripper. | 因为他向脱衣舞女扔龙虾 |
| [11:11] | And then he died doing a keg stand in the back of a moving Jeep Wrangler. | 他在奔驰的牧马人吉普车后坐倒立喝啤酒时死了 |
| [11:14] | Anyways, we run a couple hundred torture scenarios. | 总之 我们进行了几百种酷刑方案 |
| [11:17] | None of them seem quite right, you know? | 没有一个特别给力的 |
| [11:19] | Think we can get you to crack this nut? | 你能帮忙出个招吗 |
| [11:20] | Well, I mean, how could I say no? | 我怎么能拒绝呢 |
| [11:23] | I know how I would say no. | 我知道我会怎么拒绝 |
| [11:24] | You know I’d be all like, “No!” | 我会说”不要啊” |
| [11:26] | – But you know I can’t. – So weird, Trent, man. | -但我不能 -你真奇葩 特伦特 |
| [11:29] | You’re always so weird. Love that about you. | 一向如此 就喜欢你这点 |
| [11:32] | Don’t get me wrong, I love shoving hot dogs into people, | 别误会 我确实很喜欢给人塞热狗 |
| [11:35] | but once you’ve dogged every hole, | 但一旦你能试过的方法都试了 |
| [11:37] | you just start to feel like you’re repeating yourself. | 你就会觉得原地踏步 毫无新意 |
| [11:39] | I hear that, sister. I’m gonna go take a dump. | 我懂 姐妹儿 我去拉一泡屎 |
| [11:41] | – You want me to grab you one? – No, I’m good. Thanks. | -你想让我给你带点回来吗 -不用了 谢了 |
| [11:43] | – Not even a little nug? – Nah, I’m a’ight. | -一小块也不要吗 -不用了 |
| [11:45] | A’ight. | 好吧 |
| [11:46] | Damn, you’re good at this. | 天呐 你真是如鱼得水啊 |
| [11:47] | Well, hang out with Johnny Depp long enough, | 跟约翰尼·德普混久了 |
| [11:48] | and you become pretty good at lying. | 撒谎根本不用打草稿 |
| [11:50] | Like, “No, your whole thing isn’t exhausting at all.” | 比如 “不 你完全没让人受不了啊” |
| [11:54] | Hi there, you big stinky poop face guys. | 两位 你们两个臭屎脸 |
| [11:58] | It’s me, Good Janet. | 是我 良善版珍妮特 |
| [11:59] | I’m sorry I called you big stinky poop face guys. | 对不起 我管你们叫”臭屎脸” |
| [12:01] | That’s okay. Janet, can you dig around a little bit | 没事 珍妮特 你能打探一下 |
| [12:04] | and find out what this event is and how long it’s gonna last? | 查出这是个什么活动 什么时候能结束吗 |
| [12:08] | I’d love to– punch your teeth. | 没问题 揍你的牙 |
| [12:13] | Teeth. | 你的牙 |
| [12:17] | What’s all this? | 这是什么情况 |
| [12:17] | Well, I was going to try to get the humans back | 我本想通过正当手段 |
| [12:19] | by going through the proper channels, | 把那几个人类抓回来 |
| [12:21] | but then I remembered, I’m a naughty bitch. | 但我又想起来 我是个磨人的小妖精 |
| [12:25] | So I sent a black ops team to Mindy’s to extract them. | 所以我派了一队特种兵去明迪家抓他们 |
| [12:29] | Nobody from the Bad Place is allowed in Mindy’s neighborhood. | “恶地”的人不允许进入明迪的街区 |
| [12:32] | You can’t do that, Shawn. | 你不能这么做 肖恩 |
| [12:33] | It’s illegal! | 这样违法 |
| [12:35] | No. Guys, Michael says this is illegal. | 天呐 各位 迈克尔说这样违法 |
| [12:37] | I hadn’t thought of that. | 我还没想过这点 |
| [12:41] | That was sarcasm. I had thought of that. | 我说反话呢 我想过了 |
| [12:43] | Listen. Your experiment blew up in our faces. | 听着 你的”实验项目”给我们捅了个大篓子 |
| [12:45] | The example I made out of Vicky ensured that | 我将薇琪封口 杀鸡儆猴 |
| [12:47] | everybody from the neighborhood has kept their mouths shut. | 确保”善地”社区的人都保守秘密 |
| [12:49] | But we’re not out of the woods until those four are back in custody. | 但抓回那几个人类之前 我们还不算是脱险 |
| [12:51] | So I rounded up some loyal friends | 所以我集结了几个心腹 |
| [12:53] | and took matters into my own hands. | 我们自己来搞定这事 |
| [12:55] | Relax, Mike. This will all be over soon, | 别紧张 老迈 很快就会搞定 |
| [12:58] | and we can all head down to the Museum. | 我们就都能前往博物馆了 |
| [13:01] | – The Museum? – Yes. Your neighborhood– | -博物馆 -是啊 你的”善地”社区 |
| [13:03] | Our neighborhood is being immortalized for its success. | 我们的”善地”社区因其成功而载入史册 |
| [13:07] | It’s all going to work out. | 一切都将圆满解决 |
| [13:09] | I took the form of a 45-year-old white man for a reason. | 我选了一具45岁白人男性的皮囊是有原因的 |
| [13:12] | I can only fail up. | 我可以总结教训 越挫越勇 |
| [13:14] | The team is in place. Let’s do this. | 突击小队已就位 开始吧 |
| [13:18] | So those bro demons over there think I’m some kind of great torturer. | 那边几个恶魔兄觉得我是酷刑界一哥 |
| [13:21] | And they want my advice on how to torture someone. | 他们咨询我怎么去折磨一个人 |
| [13:24] | Jason is stalling by ranking MMA ring girls with them, | 杰森正在侃综合格斗女子排名 拖住他们 |
| [13:27] | but I have to do something. | 但我得想想办法 |
| [13:28] | Eleanor, you’re wearing glasses now. Help me! | 埃莉诺 你戴着学者眼镜了 快拯救我 |
| [13:31] | You know the answer, dude. Lie your ass off. | 你知道怎么办 编瞎话骗他们 |
| [13:33] | If Rhonda can do it, you can. | 如果”朗达”能行 你也可以 |
| [13:35] | You know once I shoved a hot dog | 有一次 我把一个热狗 |
| [13:36] | right down the throat of the legendary John Wayne. | 直接塞进约翰·韦恩的喉咙里了 |
| [13:40] | She even name drops in Hell. | 她在”地狱”里还不忘炫耀 |
| [13:42] | No! I told you lies have consequences! | 不 我说过了 说谎会有后果 |
| [13:44] | I will have contributed to someone’s eternal torture | 我这是帮忙出主意怎么永世折磨一个人 |
| [13:46] | because I disobeyed a basic Kantian moral principle! | 因为我违背了康德的基本道德原则 |
| [13:49] | I’m gonna be sick, and I don’t want to go back to the bathroom | 我的胃翻江倒海 我不想再去卫生间了 |
| [13:52] | because they put mirrors in the toilet, | 因为厕所里有镜子 |
| [13:53] | and that makes you really confront what you’re doing! | 看着镜中的自己会让你反省自己的所为 |
| [13:54] | Okay. Okay. Sit down. | 好好 坐下 |
| [13:57] | Take a breath. | 深呼吸 |
| [13:58] | Rub your lucky bookmark. Hear me out. | 摸一下你的幸运书签求慰藉 听我说 |
| [14:01] | What if lying is ethical in this situation? | 如果这个情境中 撒谎合乎道德呢 |
| [14:05] | What if certain actions aren’t universally good or bad? | 如果某些行为不分绝对善恶呢 |
| [14:09] | Like Jonathan Dancy says. | 就像乔纳森·丹西所说 |
| [14:11] | Jonathan Dancy? | 乔纳森·丹西 |
| [14:12] | Are you talking about moral particularism? | 你是说”道德特殊主义”吗 |
| [14:15] | We never even covered that. | 我们还没上过那个课 |
| [14:17] | You read on your own? | 你自己读的吗 |
| [14:19] | You think just because I’m a straight hottie | 就因为我漂亮到没朋友 |
| [14:20] | I can’t read philosophy for fun? | 我就不能读哲学书为乐了吗 |
| [14:22] | Look. Moral particularism says | 听着 “道德特殊主义”指出 |
| [14:25] | there are no fixed rules that work in every situation. | 不是每一个情境都适用一个固定法则 |
| [14:29] | Like, let’s say you promised your friend you’d go to the movies. | 比如 你答应你朋友一起去看电影 |
| [14:32] | But then your mom suddenly gets rushed to the ER. | 但你妈突然进急诊了 |
| [14:34] | Your boy Kant would say never break a promise. | 按照康德的理论 永远都不能失信于人 |
| [14:38] | Go see “Chronicles of Riddick.” | 去看《星际传奇2》 |
| [14:39] | Doesn’t matter if your mom gets lonely | 你妈孤零零一个人在医院 |
| [14:41] | and steals a bucket of Vicodin from the nurse’s closet. | 从护士的药柜里偷一大把止疼片也没事 |
| [14:43] | – Real example? – Yep! | -你的真实经历 -对 |
| [14:44] | But a moral particularist like me– I’m one now; | 但像我这种”道德特殊主义者” 就是现在的我 |
| [14:48] | I just decided– would say there’s no absolute rule. | 我刚成为了 我就会觉得没有绝对的准则 |
| [14:52] | You have to choose your actions based on the particular situation | 你得根据不同情况 对症下药 |
| [14:56] | and right now, we are in a pretty bonkers situation. | 而眼下 我们处境危险 |
| [14:59] | I don’t think I can change what I believe just like that! | 我可没法一时之间就改变信仰 |
| [15:02] | And I didn’t think I would ever be at a cocktail party in literal Hell, | 我也没想过我会在真正的”地狱”参加鸡尾酒派对 |
| [15:06] | lecturing my teacher/ex-lover about moral particularism, | 对我的老师兼前任说教什么道德特殊主义 |
| [15:09] | but life throws you curveballs, bro! | 但生活就是这么让你蛋疼 |
| [15:11] | And need I remind you it was doing things your way | 还用我提醒你 你就是因为生前的行事风格 |
| [15:13] | that made you end up here. | 死后才”下地狱”了吗 |
| [15:16] | Man, get back over there, dog. | 哥们 快回来 |
| [15:19] | Damn, you got that good stank. | 靠 你挺撩骚啊 |
| [15:21] | Thanks. Right back at you, bud. | 过奖 彼此彼此 |
| [15:23] | Smash you later. Let’s roll. | 过会儿来撩你 我们走 |
| [15:28] | 第一个对女人说”其实…”的男人 英格兰 泰恩河畔纽卡斯尔市 考夫里·福劳顿 1642年 12月12日 | |
| [15:29] | 第一个说”我要从假期中休息一下去度个假”的人 巴哈马 地中海度假村 泰伦斯·戴维斯 1981年 2月11日 | |
| [15:33] | Hey, butt ass. Butt ass. | 臭屁男 臭屁男 |
| [15:37] | How long is this stupid event supposed to last, anyway? | 这个破派对什么时候结束啊 |
| [15:40] | They’re unveiling the exhibit in ten minutes, | 他们十分钟后就会揭幕展品了 |
| [15:41] | then everyone will get drunk | 然后大家会喝得酩酊大醉 |
| [15:42] | and poke each other with hot sticks, | 用电杆互戳 |
| [15:44] | and then it’ll be over. | 然后就结束了 |
| [15:45] | Farts. | 屌 |
| [15:52] | Bad Janet, walkie-talkie mode. | 邪恶版珍妮特 开启无线电模式 |
| [15:56] | Now entering Mindy St. Claire’s house. | 正进入明迪·圣克莱尔的家 |
| [15:58] | This is so exciting! | 好刺激哦 |
| [16:00] | I hope everyone gets hurt! | 希望大家都受伤 |
| [16:01] | Living room’s clear. Entering the bedroom. | 客厅没有发现目标 进入卧室 |
| [16:03] | Yeah! | 好爽啊 |
| [16:06] | God! This feels so weird! | 天呐 感觉太不寻常了 |
| [16:08] | Here we go! | 好了 |
| [16:09] | Do some coke off my butt. | 屁股上来个可卡因爽一下 |
| [16:10] | Wait! What– Who are you guys? | 等下 打住 你们是谁啊 |
| [16:13] | Friends! Hi, I’m Derek! | 小伙伴们 我是德里克 |
| [16:16] | Where are the humans? And who is Derek? | 那几个人类呢 德里克又是谁 |
| [16:18] | Me is Derek. These are my wind chimes. | “偶”是德里克 这些是我的风铃 |
| [16:22] | My wind chimes like you. | 我的风铃喜欢你哦 |
| [16:23] | The only people here are Mindy St. Claire | 这里唯一的人类就只有明迪·圣克莱尔 |
| [16:25] | and an unknown male with a genital deformity. | 以及一个不明身份 下体畸形的男子 |
| [16:27] | The four humans are not here. | 那四个人类不在这里 |
| [16:31] | Where is Michael? | 迈克尔呢 |
| [16:32] | Boy! Boy! | 坏了 坏了 |
| [16:35] | – Hey there, Mike! – Hey, Lance. | -老迈 -兰斯 |
| [16:36] | Looking good, buddy. You lose some weight? | 你看起来不错啊 又苗条了吗 |
| [16:38] | I wish. | 是就好了 |
| [16:39] | Listen up, people. We need to find Michael, | 小伙伴们 我们得找到迈克尔 |
| [16:41] | and we need to be discreet. | 我们得悄悄行事 |
| [16:42] | You, search from the spastic dentistry department down through disembowelment. | 你 从痉挛牙科部搜到剖膛开肚室 |
| [16:45] | You, cover children’s dance recitals through holiday weekend IKEA. | 你 从儿童舞蹈演出搜到周末的宜家店 |
| [16:49] | Go. | 行动 |
| [16:52] | Found him! Just bird-dogging some tail. | 找到他了 就是去勾搭女人了 |
| [16:54] | What you got for me, Trent? | 你有什么妙招 特伦特 |
| [16:57] | Well, peep this, dog. | 给哥听好了 |
| [17:00] | You really want to torture this dirtbag? | 你真想折磨这个人渣 |
| [17:02] | You give him books. I’m serious. | 你就给他书看 我不是说笑 |
| [17:05] | This one time I was assigned this– a chick | 有一次我接手了一个妞儿 |
| [17:09] | that I had to torture, and I just couldn’t figure it out. | 我得折磨她 而我就是想不到好办法 |
| [17:13] | And then I realized she hated books, | 然后我发现她讨厌看书 |
| [17:15] | so I just gave her mad books to read, round the clock. | 所以我就让她看书 昼夜不停地看 |
| [17:19] | Books like exploded? | 会爆炸的书吗 |
| [17:21] | No, no, no. They were just you know regular moral philosophy books. | 不不 就是普通的道德哲学书 |
| [17:25] | You know everyone hates moral philosophers. | 大家都讨厌道德哲学嘛 |
| [17:27] | That is true. | 这倒是真的 |
| [17:28] | And I know it’s wild, | 我知道这个方法有点偏门 |
| [17:29] | but you know sometimes you gotta think outside the bun. | 但有时候就该跳出思维定式 |
| [17:32] | – Sick Taco Bell ref. – Very nice. | -不走寻常路 -真不错 |
| [17:34] | But I don’t know, man. | 但怎么说呢 |
| [17:35] | Sounds kind of lame. This guy’s the best, really? | 感觉有点逊 这还叫业界最牛 不是吧 |
| [17:40] | Yeah, maybe I don’t know what I’m talking– ball tap! | 是啊 也许我只是信口开河 打蛋蛋 |
| [17:46] | That’s what you get for questioning Trent, the torture master! | 质疑”酷刑一哥”特伦特的能力 就这个下场 |
| [17:49] | He got you so bad! | 他一拳击碎了吧 |
| [17:51] | Yeah, he did. He did. Nice job, bro. | 确实 确实 很厉害 兄弟 |
| [17:53] | All right, you’ve convinced me. I’ll give him books. | 行了 你说动我了 我就给他书看 |
| [17:58] | Hey, you two. Get your ugly necks over here. | 你们俩 两个丑傻蛋 给我过来 |
| [18:01] | Guys, I found something very bad. | 小伙伴们 我发现了一件不妙的事 |
| [18:04] | We have to get out of here right now. | 我们得赶紧离开这里 |
| [18:05] | All right, everybody. Gather ’round. Gather ’round. | 好了 各位 大家都聚过来 |
| [18:07] | This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for. | 这是我们等待已久的时刻 |
| [18:08] | – What do we do? – Just don’t draw attention. | -我们该怎么办 -别引人注目 |
| [18:10] | Whatever this is, it’ll be over in a second, | 不管是什么 肯定很快就会结束 |
| [18:12] | and we can sneak out the door. | 我们就能悄悄溜出去了 |
| [18:13] | Feast your eyes on the newest exhibit here at the Museum of Human Misery! | 请一睹”人类受难博物馆”新展品的风采吧 |
| [18:17] | The residents of neighborhood 12358W! | “善地”12358号社区的居民 |
| [18:25] | No! | 我顶你个肺啊 |
| [18:26] | Is that what they think my hair looks like? | 我的发型哪是那个样子啊 |
| [18:28] | This game-changing experiment chose four humans | 这个重大变革实验选择了四个人类 |
| [18:31] | and had them torture each other. | 让他们相互折磨 |
| [18:33] | It’s already led to major breakthroughs in the future of our industry. | 这个项目已为未来的”酷刑行业”带来了重大突破 |
| [18:37] | Now, obviously, we couldn’t get the actual four idiots | 显然 我们没法将那四个傻子真带来 |
| [18:40] | as they’re off being tortured, | 他们还在受折磨呢 |
| [18:42] | so we cooked up the next best thing. | 所以退而求其次 我们捣鼓出了替代品 |
| [18:44] | – Want to meet them? – Yes! | -想要认识他们吗 -想 |
| [18:46] | I’m Tahani Al-Jamil, a vainglorious attention seeker | 我是塔哈妮·阿贾米尔 虚荣心极强 爱怒刷存在感 |
| [18:50] | with enough jealousy to power Elon Musk’s underwater mansion, | 我的嫉妒之火强到可以给埃隆·马斯克的水下豪宅当燃料了 |
| [18:53] | which I’ve been to, by the way. | 我还真去过他家 就炫耀一下 |
| [18:56] | I have, actually. It’s remarkable. | 我真去过 太豪华了 |
| [18:59] | It’s remarkable! | 太豪华了 |
| [19:01] | I’m Chidi Anagonye, or maybe I’m not. | 我是奇迪·阿纳贡耶 但也许我不是 |
| [19:04] | I can’t decide anything. | 我做不了任何决定 |
| [19:06] | Or maybe I can. I can’t decide. | 也许我能 我决定不了我能不能 |
| [19:11] | My stomach hurts. | 压力太大 我胃疼 |
| [19:15] | What? They kind of nailed it. | 怎么了 多像啊 |
| [19:17] | I’ve heard you say all that stuff. | 我总听你这么说 |
| [19:18] | I’m Eleanor Shellstrop. | 我是埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普 |
| [19:20] | I mock others to distract myself from the emptiness inside me. | 我通过嘲笑别人 来掩饰自己内心的空虚 |
| [19:24] | That’s fair. That’s a fair hit. | 我承认 吐槽点很准 |
| [19:26] | I’m Jason Mendoza. | 我是杰森·门多萨 |
| [19:31] | That’s me. | 那是我 |
| [19:33] | Where have you been? | 你去哪了 |
| [19:35] | How do you smell loud and confusing? | 你怎么闻起来”让人不知所云”啊 |
| [19:37] | No time to explain. We gotta go. | 没时间解释了 我们得赶紧走 |
| [19:39] | I got the travel pins! | 我拿到通行牌了 |
| [19:41] | That looks like my boy Trent! | 那个人好像我兄弟特伦特 |
| [19:43] | And isn’t that Rhonda Mumps? | 那不是朗达·芒普斯吗 |
| [19:44] | – Come on! – There he is. | -走 -他在这儿啊 |
| [19:47] | And he’s got the humans with him. | 还跟那几个人类一起 |
| [19:48] | All right, let’s just back up here. | 好 我们退后 |
| [19:50] | – What do we do? – This! | -我们该怎么办 -这么办 |
| [19:56] | Jortles! | “杰式火弹” |
| [19:59] | Go! | 快走 |
| [20:02] | Hey, Eleanor. Thank for the advice. | 埃莉诺 谢谢你的建议 |
| [20:03] | It was really helpful, even though I had to say a lot of words I don’t like, | 非常有用 尽管我得用一些我不喜欢的词 |
| [20:05] | like douche, and chick, and peep this– | 比如”傻帽 妞儿 给哥听好了” |
| [20:06] | Okay, great! No problem, | 很好 不客气 |
| [20:07] | I’m just kind of focused on running right now. | 这时候还是逃命要紧吧 |
| [20:09] | Right, sorry! | 对 抱歉 |
| [20:14] | Here. Put the pins on your lapels. | 给 把通行牌戴在领子上 |
| [20:17] | Okay, okay. | 好好 |
| [20:18] | You didn’t give me a pin, man. I don’t have one! | 你没给我通行牌 我没有啊 |
| [20:20] | – Okay. Okay. Hang on. Hang on! – Wait. Where’s Janet? | -等下 等下 -慢着 珍妮特呢 |
| [20:22] | No time to wait for her. You three go now. Now! | 没时间等她了 你们三个先走 赶紧 |
| [20:32] | Portals! | 传送门 |
| [20:34] | Any day now, man. | 快点找啊 |
| [20:39] | Guess what? | 你猜怎么着 |
| [20:42] | I just solved the trolley problem. | 我解开”电车难题”了 |
| [20:45] | Remeber? | 还记得吗 |
| [20:45] | The thought experiement where you drive the trolley | 那个思想实验 就是你开着电车 |
| [20:48] | and you can either plow into a group of people | 要么会压死一群人 |
| [20:50] | or turn and hit one person? | 要么换轨压死一个人 |
| [20:53] | I solved it. | 我解开了 |
| [20:54] | That’s really great. But I don’t think now’s the time. | 真棒 但现在不是时候啊 |
| [20:56] | See, the trolley problem forces you | “电车难题”是让你被迫 |
| [20:58] | to choose between two versions of letting other people die. | 从两个让别人死掉的情境中选择 |
| [21:01] | And the actual solution is very simple. | 而真正的解决方法很简单 |
| [21:05] | – Sacrifice yourself. – What does that mean? | -牺牲你自己 -你什么意思 |
| [21:10] | You look after the others. | 你照顾好其他人 |
| [21:12] | – They need you. – No. | -他们需要你 -不 |
| [21:14] | Step away from the portal! | 别靠近那个传送门 |
| [21:15] | – Good-bye, Eleanor. – No, no. Wait, wait! | -再见 埃莉诺 -不不 等下 |
| [21:23] | Hey, boss. What’s up? | 头儿 别来无恙 |