| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Michael, a demon has infiltrated the group. | 迈克尔 有个恶魔打入四人组了 |
| [00:04] | Not just any demon. | 还不是个普通恶魔 |
| [00:06] | Trevor is a diabolical, sadistic agent of evil. | 特雷弗是个暴虐成性的大魔头 |
| [00:10] | Might just be the single most dangerous creature in the universe. | 大概是宇宙中最危险的生物了 |
| [00:14] | Who wants lemon bars? | 谁想来点柠檬方糕 |
| [00:18] | It’s my nana’s recipe, | 我奶奶的秘制配方哦 |
| [00:19] | and they are just sinful. | 美味得令人犯罪 |
| [00:21] | Love ’em on my lips but hate ’em on my hips, | 狂吃一时爽 减肥火葬场 |
| [00:23] | if you know what I mean. | 你懂我意思吧 |
| [00:24] | All right, new guy, | 新来的 |
| [00:24] | coming in strong with free dessert. | 带了免费甜点 来势汹汹啊 |
| [00:26] | You must be Eleanor, | 你就是埃莉诺吧 |
| [00:27] | the reason this is all happening. | 这一切的始作俑者[大家因为你才聚在一起] |
| [00:29] | I am. | 就是我 |
| [00:31] | It’s so nice to hear someone say, | 你这么说真是深得我心 |
| [00:32] | “Eleanor, you’re the reason this is all happening” | “埃莉诺 大家因为你才聚在一起[你是这一切的始作俑者]” |
| [00:34] | who isn’t a judge in small claims court. | 通常小额索赔法院的法官才会这样评价我 |
| [00:36] | Thank you for this, Eleanor. | 感谢你 埃莉诺 |
| [00:38] | It’s a wonderful thing you’ve done. | 你真是干了件大好事 |
| [00:42] | Happy to help you out, buddy. | 很高兴能帮到你 兄弟 |
| [00:44] | We’re doing a long hug. | 这抱得也太久了吧 |
| [00:46] | Are you crying? | 你哭了吗 |
| [00:47] | Sorry, I’m just– | 抱歉 我就是… |
| [00:48] | I’m just so happy to be here, if that makes sense. | 我就是太高兴能来这儿了 喜极而泣 |
| [00:51] | Okay, the five of us narrowly avoided death. | 我们五人险险逃生 |
| [00:54] | The operating theory of this experiment is that… | 本次实验的操作原理是… |
| [01:04] | So, I give them ethics problems, | 我向他们提出道德问题 |
| [01:06] | and we scan their brains, | 然后扫描他们的大脑 |
| [01:08] | and we get a sense of their baseline moral instincts. | 测出他们道德观的基准线 |
| [01:10] | Right, then I’ll show them pictures | 对 然后我会给他们看一些照片 |
| [01:11] | that trigger memories of their near-death experiences, | 唤醒他们对濒死经历的回忆 |
| [01:13] | we’ll scan again, and see if we get a different result. | 然后再次扫描 观察结果是否一致 |
| [01:16] | For example, I’ll show Jason pictures of | 比如 我会给杰森看三张照片 |
| [01:20] | a safe, a snorkel, and whip-it canisters. | 分别是保险箱 呼吸管 奶油搅拌器 |
| [01:23] | Got it. | 明白 |
| [01:24] | Also, what a grim death that would have been. | 要真是这种死法 那也太惨了 |
| [01:27] | Darling, do you remember all the rules | 亲爱的 你还记得要求吗 |
| [01:29] | about what can and cannot be worn inside an MRI? | 做核磁共振 哪些衣服能穿 哪些不能穿 |
| [01:32] | More specifically, | 说具体点 |
| [01:33] | what if one’s brassiere is very thin, but also very pure gold? | 纯金制成的薄内衣可以穿进去吗 |
| [01:39] | I don’t know, | 我不知道哎 |
| [01:40] | but I’m in a similar “situ-aysh,” | 但我也很烦恼 |
| [01:42] | because the sports bra I’m wearing | 因为我的运动内衣 |
| [01:44] | is kind of rust-colored underneath the armpits, | 腋下有点生锈了哎 |
| [01:47] | so I guess we’ll roll the dice together. | 看来我们俩都得冒险试试看了 |
| [01:49] | Hey, Eleanor, do I have the right phone number for you? | 埃莉诺 你给我的手机号码对吗 |
| [01:52] | You haven’t responded to any of the dank memes I’ve sent. | 我给你发的搞笑视频 你都没回 |
| [01:56] | Yeah, I–’cause I was laughing too hard to reply. | 我… 我笑到抽筋 腾不出手回复了 |
| [01:59] | Okay, what’s your fave? | 你最喜欢哪一个 |
| [02:00] | ‘Cause mine’s “Damn Daniel.” | 我最喜欢”666 丹尼尔” |
| [02:02] | Back at it again with the white Vans! | 又穿着你的小白鞋出街了啊 |
| [02:05] | Should we get started, maybe? | 我们开始吧 |
| [02:07] | Mrs. Teacher, for my turn, | 老师小姐姐 轮到我时 |
| [02:08] | is there any way to get, like, extra radiation? | 能不能加大辐射量 |
| [02:12] | There is no radiation in the MRI. | 核磁共振机不会产生辐射 |
| [02:14] | But why do you ask? | 怎么这么问 |
| [02:16] | No reason. | 就随口一问 |
| [02:17] | – Jason, what do you got in your hand there, bud? – Nothing. | -杰森 你的小脑瓜里想什么呢 -没什么 |
| [02:20] | – Is it a spider? – Yes. | -是想到了蜘蛛吗 -对 |
| [02:23] | Do you think taking a spider in an MRI machine will give you superpowers? | 你是不是觉得把蜘蛛带进核磁共振机会赋予你超能力 |
| [02:27] | Hey, it might work. | 说不定真能行呢 |
| [02:28] | He already bit me a bunch of times | 我被咬了好几口 |
| [02:29] | and gave me the power to swell up my hand. | 都获得”手肿肿”超能力了 |
| [02:32] | – My God. – What? | -天呐 -这孩子怕不是傻了 |
| [02:37] | Trevor. | 特雷弗 |
| [02:37] | Hey, Mikey, fancy seeing you down on Earth completely illegally. | 小迈迈 真高兴见到你非法来地球呀 |
| [02:42] | Sweet outfit. | 这身穿搭不错 |
| [02:43] | Dick Tracy called. | 迪克·崔西打给我了 |
| [02:45] | He said you’re a buttface and he’s been plowing your mom. | 他说你是个猪头 他和你妈搞上了 |
| [02:47] | Hey, well, Dick Tracy called me, too, first, | “至尊神探”先打给我了 |
| [02:50] | and he said he was about to call you | 他告诉我 他要打给你 |
| [02:52] | and say a lie about me | 告诉你一件关于我的假消息 |
| [02:53] | that was actually true about you instead. | 其实你才是个猪头 他是跟你老妈搞上了 |
| [02:57] | Whatever. | 闲话少说 |
| [02:58] | What are you doing here, Trevor? | 你来干什么 特雷弗 |
| [03:00] | Shawn hacked the judge’s system, | 肖恩黑入了法官的系统 |
| [03:02] | and we caught you cheating, | 我们发现你作弊了 |
| [03:03] | getting your four little cockroaches to meet up. | 悄咪咪把四个人类聚在了一起 |
| [03:05] | What, you think we were just gonna sit around in the Bad Place blowing beefers | 怎么 你以为我们只会在”恶地”吐吐槽 |
| [03:09] | while you’re down on Earth boning us in the meathole? | 放任你在地球给我们捣乱吗 |
| [03:12] | So why didn’t Shawn just go to the judge and turn me in? | 肖恩怎么不直接去向法官告发我 |
| [03:15] | Because this way’s more fun, knuckle nuts. | 因为当面打脸更有趣啊 傻鸟 |
| [03:17] | First of all, I’m currently formulating a better comeback to your Dick Tracy burn, | 首先 我正在想怎么回击你”至尊神探”的梗 |
| [03:22] | and it’s gonna devastate you. | 一定把你diss到体无完肤 |
| [03:24] | Second, you’re too late, | 其次 你来晚了 |
| [03:25] | because when I did this experiment in my neighborhood, | 因为我之前在街区实验时 |
| [03:29] | every time Eleanor asked Chidi for help, | 每当埃莉诺向奇迪求助 |
| [03:31] | their bond became unbreakable, | 他们就会紧紧联系在一起 |
| [03:33] | and the entire group improved. | 四人组都会提升为好人 |
| [03:35] | No, you’re right. | 惨了 你说得对 |
| [03:37] | There’s no way I’ll get one of these bozos | 让这些傻蛋退出事多还没钱拿的学术研究 |
| [03:40] | to drop out of an unpaid, rigorous academic study, | 臣妾真是做不到啊 |
| [03:43] | especially when they’re doing it with me, their overeager new best friend. | 而且还有我这个精力旺盛的最佳拍档做队友 |
| [03:47] | Well, I should head back. | 我该回去找他们了 |
| [03:49] | You want to come with? | 你要一起吗 |
| [03:49] | Right, they’ve all seen you already, | 不行哎 他们已经见过你了 |
| [03:52] | so you can’t show your face to them again, | 所以你不能再出现在他们面前了 |
| [03:55] | so you’re powerless to stop me. | 也就没法阻止我了 |
| [03:58] | Later days, dingus. | 回见 猪头 |
| [04:01] | Dick Tracy called back on his watch phone | “至尊神探”用电话手表打给你了 |
| [04:04] | and said you better “watch” out. | 让你最好小心点[看好你的表] |
| [04:07] | Shoot, second too late. | 妈蛋 反击得不够及时 |
| [04:09] | Okay, Simone’s gotta analyze the scans, | 西蒙妮要先分析扫描结果 |
| [04:12] | so why don’t the rest of you head home? | 你们先回家吧 |
| [04:14] | Good first day, everyone. | 第一天很顺利 各位 |
| [04:15] | Hey, teach, do you think, maybe, | 老师 你觉得… |
| [04:20] | we could continue the one-on-one lessons on the side? | 我们能继续一对一教学吗 |
| [04:23] | I feel like last week, I had my own personal ninja master, | 上周 有”忍者大师”亲自手把手教我 |
| [04:26] | and now I’m taking tai chi with a bunch of farting housewives. | 这周 我却只能和一群八婆一起打太极 |
| [04:32] | Between the new project and my classes, | 我既要做实验 又要上课 |
| [04:34] | I won’t have time, | 实在没时间 |
| [04:35] | but this is way better. | 但这样更好啊 |
| [04:37] | You’re still gonna learn a lot, | 你还是能学到很多 |
| [04:38] | and you’ll have a fun group of people to study with outside of class. | 而且课下还能跟小伙伴交流讨论 |
| [04:42] | – But… – Hey, gang. | -但是… -胖友们 |
| [04:43] | I just had a neat idea. | 我刚想到一个好主意 |
| [04:45] | Let’s all go sightseeing. | 我们去观光吧 |
| [04:47] | – Dope. – Yeah. | -棒耶 -不错吧 |
| [04:48] | We can check out Sydney, get to know each other, bond. | 我们可以逛逛悉尼 彼此了解 加深友谊 |
| [04:51] | What do you say, E Street Band? | 怎么样 “爱[埃]乐团” |
| [04:53] | You up for a Segway tour of… Australia, mate? | 想骑平衡车来个”土澳”一日游吗 |
| [04:57] | This is a knife on the barbie. | 嗨起来吧 朋友们 |
| [05:00] | Cool idea. | 好主意 |
| [05:01] | I’m just worried that, maybe, it’s too cool. | 我就是担心嗨太过了收不住 |
| [05:04] | I think I’m just gonna find the nearest bar, | 我还是就近找个酒吧 |
| [05:06] | have one or eight drinks, and hit the hay. | 喝几杯小酒 然后洗洗睡了[倒在稻草上] |
| [05:08] | Even better! We’ll all go bend an elbow. | 好啊 大家不醉不归[弯手肘] |
| [05:12] | Actually, I know the perfect place for homesick Americans. | 话说 我知道一个地方 特适合想家的美国人 |
| [05:18] | Hey, dudes, welcome to the Cowboy Skyscraper Buffet. | 朋友们 欢迎光临”牛仔摩天大楼餐厅” |
| [05:22] | Hey, can we get the Florida table? | 我们能坐”佛罗里达”桌吗 |
| [05:24] | They absolutely nail the swamp stench. | 那一桌的沼泽臭气简直能把人熏晕 |
| [05:27] | Someone’s seated there. | 那一桌有人了 |
| [05:28] | But if you purchase our Manifest Destiny package for $30, | 不过如果你们点30美元的”天定命运”套餐 |
| [05:32] | you can have anyone you want forcibly removed from the table. | 想踢走谁都可以 |
| [05:35] | We’ll just sit anywhere. | 我们随便坐就好了 |
| [05:36] | When your table’s ready, this gun’ll go off. | 需要点餐时 开枪就好 |
| [05:41] | I think this is real. | 好像是真枪 |
| [05:47] | So, listen up, y’all. | 各位 我想说两句 |
| [05:49] | I was so excited to join the group | 我很高兴能加入这个小团体 |
| [05:51] | that I made sweatshirts. | 所以我给大家定制了衬衫 |
| [05:54] | You get a sweatshirt. You get a sweatshirt. | 这是你的 人人都有份 |
| [05:58] | – You get a sweatshirt. – I get a sweatshirt. | -这是你的 -我也有哎 |
| [05:59] | “The Brainy Bunch.” | “机灵鬼组合” |
| [06:00] | Awesome! I love being on teams, | 太赞了 我喜欢团队行动 |
| [06:03] | and if we’re on a team now, we need nicknames. | 既然是队友 我们就得想几个昵称 |
| [06:05] | Optimus, Bumblebee, Jazz, megatron. | 擎天柱 大黄蜂 爵士 威震天 |
| [06:09] | That’s what you can each call me. | 你们各自可以这样称呼我 |
| [06:10] | Now we need nicknames for you guys. | 再给大家想想昵称吧 |
| [06:12] | This is the best! | 这个组合太完美了 |
| [06:14] | I’m gonna get the first round, | 第一轮酒我请 |
| [06:15] | and we are all gonna toast to Eleanor, | 大家敬埃莉诺一杯 |
| [06:17] | the reason we’re all here. | 因为她 我们才会相聚 |
| [06:19] | Yay, Eleanor! | 干得漂亮 埃莉诺 |
| [06:21] | Well, if you guys are celebrating, | 如果各位想要庆祝 |
| [06:22] | I recommend the jalapeno poppers. | 吃墨西哥辣椒卷最合适不过了 |
| [06:24] | Hi, there, I’m Janet. | 大家好 我是珍妮特 |
| [06:26] | I’ll be taking care of you tonight. | 今晚为大家服务 |
| [06:30] | Can I get you started with some drinks? | 各位要喝点什么 |
| [06:31] | Our specialty cocktail tonight is the Fourth of July. | 我们今晚的特色鸡尾酒是”七月四” |
| [06:34] | It’s half an apple pie blended with Southern Comfort and Coca-Cola | 以”南方安逸”和可口可乐调配 辅以半个苹果派 |
| [06:38] | served in a Chevy hubcap. | 盛在雪佛兰车轮盖中 |
| [06:40] | Why don’t you just go get us a round of beers? | 你先给我们每人上一杯啤酒吧 |
| [06:43] | Of course. Here you go. | 没问题 你们的啤酒来了 |
| [06:46] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [06:47] | I will go physically pick those up, I guess, | 我这就走过去拿啤酒 |
| [06:52] | and then walk them back here with my feet. | 然后再走着端回来 |
| [06:56] | But just so you know, I will be here all night | 提醒一下 我整晚都会在 |
| [06:59] | watching everything that you order. | 点单就喊我[我会监视你点的单] |
| [07:06] | So, Ellie, baby, brainstorm. | 埃埃小宝贝 我有个想法 |
| [07:08] | We should get a house. | 我们应该住在一起 |
| [07:10] | Me, you, Tahani, Jason– | 我 你 塔哈妮 杰森 |
| [07:12] | we should all go in together on a place. | 我们应该住在一起 |
| [07:14] | – Roomies. – Roomies! | -室友 -做室友 |
| [07:17] | That is… | 还真是… |
| [07:19] | technically an idea. | 你就想想吧 |
| [07:21] | I think it would be supes fun. | 肯定会很好玩 |
| [07:22] | – We could play pranks on each other for my vlog. – No. | -我们可以拍恶作剧视频传到网上 -不要 |
| [07:24] | – We could do one of those ice bucket challenges that I sent you. – I don’t think so. | -我们可以试试看冰桶挑战 -不要 |
| [07:28] | Or maybe just a Harlem shake? | 一起跳”哈林摇”也行啊 |
| [07:29] | I like to cook, | 我喜欢烹饪 |
| [07:31] | – and I have been dying to… – Please stop. | -我一直想… -求求你 别说了 |
| [07:32] | experiment with Jamaican food, man. | 试试做牙买加菜 |
| [07:34] | I like Jamaican food. | 我喜欢牙买加菜 |
| [07:36] | Listen to the reggae, and smoke the joints. | 听雷鬼 抽大麻 |
| [07:38] | That’s a Jamaican accent. | 我在模仿牙买加口音哦 |
| [07:42] | Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. | 快点 快点 拜托 快点 |
| [07:45] | – Hey, how’s it going? – Not good, Michael. | -怎么样 -糟透了 迈克尔 |
| [07:47] | I don’t have my powers. | 我没有超能力了 |
| [07:48] | I can’t summon things. | 没办法召唤东西了 |
| [07:50] | Dictionary. Spaghetti. | 词典 意面 |
| [07:52] | Jet Ski. Giraffe. | 水上摩托 长颈鹿 |
| [07:54] | Look what I’ve been reduced to. | 你瞧我都堕落成什么样了 |
| [07:55] | Humans only live 80 years, | 人类的寿命只有八十年 |
| [07:57] | and they spend so much of it | 他们却要花费大量时间 |
| [07:58] | just waiting for things to be over. | 只为等待事情做完 |
| [08:00] | I’m all out of sorts down here too. | 我在地球也是各种受限啊 |
| [08:02] | I’m bad at lying now. That used to be my thing. | 我现在都不会撒谎了 我以前可是骗遍天下无敌手 |
| [08:05] | And every part of my body is either too dry or too wet. | 而且我的身体各种不适 |
| [08:08] | It’s worse for me, man. | 我比你难受多了 |
| [08:10] | Ever since we walked through that portal, | 自从我们穿越来地球 |
| [08:11] | my knowledge has stopped updating. | 我就不再无所不知了 |
| [08:14] | The instant before we left, | 我们穿越之前 |
| [08:15] | a man in Caracas, Venezuela, | 委内瑞拉加拉加斯有一个男人 |
| [08:17] | named Raul Benitez was eating a ham sandwich. | 名叫拉乌·本尼特斯 他正在吃火腿三明治 |
| [08:21] | Did he finish it? | 他吃完了吗 |
| [08:22] | I don’t know, and it’s making me crazy. | 我不知道 我要抓狂了 |
| [08:24] | I got to find him. | 我一定要找他问个清楚 |
| [08:25] | Janet, focus on the mission! | 珍妮特 专心任务 |
| [08:28] | We have to get Trevor away from the humans. | 我们得让特雷弗远离四人组 |
| [08:32] | I am so glad you came out with us, man. | 你跟我们一起出来嗨真是太好了 |
| [08:36] | I just assumed you would think it’s unprofessional | 我本以为你会觉得 |
| [08:38] | to be friends with the subjects of your study. | 和研究对象交朋友很不专业 |
| [08:40] | No, I never thought that. | 不会啊 我从没这么想过 |
| [08:43] | I mean, I-I kind of do now. | 经你提醒 我倒是觉出来了 |
| [08:44] | Should I not be socializing? | 我是不是不该和大家走得太近 |
| [08:46] | I’m sure it’s fine. | 没事啦 |
| [08:47] | I mean, how much harm could it possibly do? | 反正也没什么大不了 |
| [08:49] | Good point. | 有道理 |
| [08:52] | Such a good point | 真是太有道理了 |
| [08:53] | that I’m gonna go think about how good a point that is | 我要好好想一想 |
| [08:55] | over there by myself for several minutes. | 我去那边静一静 |
| [08:57] | Excuse me. | 失陪了 |
| [09:00] | Hey, El train, | 小埃埃[高架列车] |
| [09:01] | you think with all these new “Star Wars” movies | 《星球大战》都拍了那么多部了 |
| [09:03] | they’ll finally make a new “Spaceballs”? | 你说他们还不会拍《太空炮弹》续集啊 |
| [09:05] | I’m sorry, I’m getting a text and I have to take this. | 抱歉 有新短信 我去回一下 |
| [09:08] | Okay, everybody, here are your beers. | 各位 啤酒来了 |
| [09:12] | And here is yours. | 这是你的 |
| [09:13] | No. | 不好意思 |
| [09:16] | I guess you should go to the bathroom | 你要不去下洗手间 |
| [09:17] | or maybe go home and never come back. | 或者直接回家吧 别再来了 |
| [09:20] | No worries, I made extra sweatshirts. | 没事 我带了很多衬衫 |
| [09:21] | Besides, we’re having too much fun to leave. | 而且 我们玩得正嗨呢 才不舍得走 |
| [09:24] | Hey, speaking of fun, | 说到好玩 |
| [09:25] | I know this super fun drinking game we can play. | 我知道一个超有趣的喝酒游戏 我们一起玩吧 |
| [09:28] | Every time one of you says something that the other can’t relate to, | 每当一人说的事另外一人没有同感 |
| [09:32] | you both drink. | 那两人都得罚酒 |
| [09:33] | Could be fun. | 有意思 |
| [09:34] | I once played a drinking game with Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively | 我之前跟瑞恩·雷诺兹[死侍扮演者]和布莱克·莱弗莉[绯闻女孩女主] |
| [09:37] | at their macrobiotic farm | 在微生物农场玩过喝酒游戏 |
| [09:38] | with a particularly robust batch of homemade kombucha. | 还喝到了超浓郁的自制康普茶 |
| [09:43] | Do I have to drink for every word I don’t know? | 我一个词都没听懂 也得罚酒吗 |
| [09:45] | Up to you. Just drink. | 你自己看着办 喝就是了 |
| [09:48] | Hey, what happened with Chidi, and where’s Eleanor? | 奇迪怎么了 埃莉诺去哪儿了 |
| [09:51] | This–this is all moving too fast. | 进展太快了 |
| [09:53] | Can we just take Trevor out? | 我们能不能直接把特雷弗弄走 |
| [09:55] | I don’t know if he can die, | 我不知道他死不死得了 |
| [09:56] | but I could drop a steamroller on his head. | 但我可以试试看把压路机砸到他脑袋上 |
| [09:58] | Darn it, I can’t summon things. | 该死 我不能召唤东西了 |
| [10:00] | I guess I could kick him with my soft feet. | 我可以用我软弱无力的小脚把他踢飞 |
| [10:03] | Earth sucks. | 我讨厌地球 |
| [10:04] | You stay on Trevor, keep interfering with his plan. | 你盯好特雷弗 继续扰乱他的计划 |
| [10:07] | All right, and I’m going to do my librarian act | 我去扮演图书管理员 |
| [10:09] | and nudge Chidi back to the table. | 鼓励奇迪跟大家一起嗨 |
| [10:13] | – Yummy. – Yay! | -好喝 -棒耶 |
| [10:15] | You gotta relax, man. | 放轻松 |
| [10:17] | You’re off the clock. | 你已经下班了 |
| [10:18] | It’s just a simple drink with friends at the world’s worst restaurant. | 只是在破餐馆和朋友喝一杯而已 |
| [10:21] | No, but Trevor’s right. | 不 特雷弗说得对 |
| [10:23] | I might skew the study by fraternizing with the subjects. | 和研究对象亲近可能会干扰实验结果 |
| [10:26] | We can be colleagues. Associates is pushing it. | 即使我们是同事 这样也不太好 |
| [10:29] | And by even having this conversation, | 而你来安慰我 |
| [10:31] | you’re becoming my confidante. | 意味着我们是好朋友 |
| [10:33] | – I can’t have that. – Jeez. | -这样可不行 -不是吧 |
| [10:36] | Kind of thought that before everyone else showed up, | 我本以为 其他人出现之前 |
| [10:38] | you and I were, like, becoming actual friends. | 我们俩就快成朋友了 |
| [10:43] | No. You’re right. | 神啊 你说得对 |
| [10:45] | What have I done? | 我这是怎么了 |
| [10:45] | Okay, okay, I-I-I’m gonna go to the bar and get you a hot tea. | 别激动 我去吧台给你点一杯热茶 |
| [10:49] | Okay. | 好 |
| [10:50] | Or a regular temperature Xanax. | 一杯温水配镇定剂也行 |
| [10:52] | Try not to fall apart. | 千万别晕过去 |
| [10:56] | Professor Anagonye? | 阿纳贡耶教授 |
| [10:57] | Yeah, I thought I recognized you. | 我就觉得像你 |
| [10:59] | It’s me, the librarian from the library. | 是我啊 图书管理员 |
| [11:02] | Right, hi, sorry. | 对 你好 抱歉没认出你 |
| [11:05] | I was just kind of in the middle of something here. | 我刚才有点心慌意乱 |
| [11:07] | Well, maybe I can help. | 也许我能帮上忙 |
| [11:09] | You know what I like to do in situations like these? | 知道这种情况 我通常会怎么做吗 |
| [11:12] | I haven’t told you anything about what I’m going through. | 我还没告诉你是什么情况呢 |
| [11:16] | Do that first, | 那你先说 |
| [11:17] | then I’ll tell you | 然后我再告诉你 |
| [11:18] | what I do in situations such as the one you’re about to describe. | 遇到你这种情况 我会怎么做 |
| [11:21] | I’ve been in every situation | 我什么大风大浪都见过 |
| [11:23] | because I’m a librarian. | 毕竟图书管理员不是白做的 |
| [11:25] | Hit me. Go ahead. | 来吧 跟我说说 |
| [11:30] | I’m tired. | 我累了 |
| [11:31] | Does anybody want a gallon of water to sober up? | 各位想喝桶水清醒一下吗 |
| [11:33] | No thanks, sweetheart. | 不用了 亲爱的 |
| [11:34] | I just called a car for these two lovebirds, | 我刚替这对”爱侣”叫了车 |
| [11:36] | so why don’t you just bring us the check? | 结账吧 |
| [11:39] | and you should smile more. | 你该多笑笑 |
| [11:41] | You’ll get bigger tips. | 笑容甜美 小费多多 |
| [11:44] | Gosh, you’re pretty. | 天 你好美 |
| [11:45] | No, you’re pretty. | 不 你才美[很] |
| [11:48] | Pretty beautiful. | 很美 |
| [11:51] | If you ask me, Chidi, | 要我说 奇迪 |
| [11:52] | you need to get back over there, | 你得坐回去 |
| [11:54] | you know, spend time with the team. | 和队员一起嗨 |
| [11:55] | Though, we do have a saying in the library game. | 但我们图书馆界有句名言 |
| [11:59] | there’s only room for one male subject in an academic study, | 一项学术研究容不下两个男人 |
| [12:03] | so keep the one who got there first. | 只有先到的那个才能留下 |
| [12:07] | Catchy. | 还挺朗朗上口 |
| [12:08] | Got to go now. | 我先走了 |
| [12:09] | The closest thing I could find to herbal tea was a root beer | 最像凉茶的就是根汁汽水了 |
| [12:11] | I had them throw in the microwave. | 我让他们用微波炉加热了一下 |
| [12:13] | You know what? Don’t drink that. | 算了 别喝了 |
| [12:15] | I think I’m just gonna head home. | 我还是先回家吧 |
| [12:17] | But you can go and spend time with the others. | 你和大家好好玩 |
| [12:18] | Yeah, man, that’s not really what I signed up for. | 免了 我可不是为他们而来 |
| [12:21] | I mean, Tahani is eh, but Jason, woof, | 塔哈妮太作 杰森太二 |
| [12:24] | and Trevor, blegh. | 特雷弗简直是个戏精 |
| [12:26] | They’re not the reason I flew all the way from Arizona. | 我大老远从亚利桑那飞来可不是为了他们 |
| [12:30] | You are. | 是为了你 |
| [12:31] | I’m sorry, but this is just how it has to be. | 抱歉 但我们必须保持距离 |
| [12:36] | I’ll, I’ll see you tomorrow. | 明天见 |
| [12:40] | Hey, E dog, get over here! | 埃姐 快来啊 |
| [12:41] | It’s trivia night! | 来玩益智问答啊 |
| [12:43] | The first round questions are all about Logan Paul, | 第一轮问题全是关于罗根·保罗的 |
| [12:46] | and you know I’m Logang for life. | 你懂我的 无罗根 不青春 |
| [12:48] | Go put your head up your own butt. | 你自己玩蛋去吧 |
| [12:50] | – What? – What? | -什么 -什么 |
| [12:51] | What? | 你说什么 |
| [12:57] | Don’t you buttnecks ever give up? | 你们两个傻蛋怎么就是不肯放弃呢 |
| [12:59] | No, and what are you even doing in a bathroom? | 没门 你来洗手间干什么 |
| [13:02] | You’re a demon. You don’t… need it. | 你是个恶魔 不需要上厕所 |
| [13:04] | I like the smells. | 我喜欢闻臭味啊 |
| [13:05] | And I like putting my hands in the toilet | 我喜欢把手伸进马桶 |
| [13:07] | so everything I touch gets a little bit of poop on it. | 这样我碰过的东西都会粘上粑粑 |
| [13:10] | Hey, you guys see what I did out there? | 你们瞧见我多厉害了吗 |
| [13:12] | I am so good, I got Eleanor to leave a bar early. | 我太牛了 都能把埃莉诺气到先离开酒吧了 |
| [13:16] | Chidi’s melting down. | 奇迪快崩溃了 |
| [13:17] | Jason and Tahani just left together. | 杰森和塔哈妮一起离开了 |
| [13:19] | If they hook up, | 如果他们俩滚了床单 |
| [13:20] | she’s on the first private jet out of here. | 塔哈妮绝对立马搭乘私人飞机走人 |
| [13:22] | This was too easy. | 太简单了 |
| [13:24] | It’s gonna take a lot more than that to break up this group. | 想拆散四人组 你还嫩着呢 |
| [13:26] | Why don’t you give up, Trevor? | 你趁早放弃吧 特雷弗 |
| [13:28] | As long as we’re here, you’ll never succeed. | 只要我们在 你就别想成功 |
| [13:31] | Maybe, but how long will that take? | 也许吧 但你们能待多久呢 |
| [13:33] | I mean, at some point, the judge will find out | 反正 法官迟早会发现 |
| [13:35] | that you’re not in your little room watching ticker tape. | 你们俩不好好干活 偷偷溜到地球了 |
| [13:37] | Right? Tick, tick, tick, tick. | 没错吧 你们时间不多了哟 |
| [13:40] | But, hey, may the worst demon win. | 就看哪个恶魔能笑到最后了 |
| [13:42] | Good luck, Mikey. | 祝好运 小迈迈 |
| [13:45] | Poop hands! | 手上粘粑粑了 |
| [13:47] | I can’t believe you fell for that. | 你竟然上当了 |
| [13:52] | Are you all right? | 你没事吧 |
| [13:53] | You didn’t sleep at all last night. | 你昨晚一点都没睡 |
| [13:54] | I got a solid eight minutes, | 我睡了整整八分钟呢 |
| [13:57] | not consecutively, but still. | 虽然不是连续八分钟 但也睡了 |
| [13:58] | It’s fine. | 没事的 |
| [14:00] | You’re not even that blurry. | 我看你都不重影呢 |
| [14:01] | You gotta take it easy, man. | 你得放轻松 |
| [14:02] | I mean, you’re not sleeping. Your eye’s twitching. | 你没睡好 眼睛都抽筋了 |
| [14:04] | This study has to be airtight. | 这项研究必须无懈可击 |
| [14:07] | And this ethical question of friendship with the subjects is weighing on me. | 而和研究对象交朋友的事让我很抓狂 |
| [14:12] | I’ve done a million of these things. | 我做过很多次此类研究 |
| [14:14] | I promise I’ll warn you if you cross any lines. | 我保证 如果你越界了一定会提醒你 |
| [14:16] | I don’t want to come anywhere near those lines. | 我连越界的想法都不敢有 |
| [14:19] | I have been waiting my entire career for the right thesis, | 我一直在等待合适的论文主题 |
| [14:23] | and I am not going to blow it. | 我绝不会毁了这次研究 |
| [14:26] | I have to keep this professional. | 我一定要保持专业水准 |
| [14:28] | Fine, but you need to get some rest. | 好吧 但你需要休息 |
| [14:29] | This morning, you bit into a raw egg like it was an apple. | 今早 你都把生鸡蛋当成苹果啃了 |
| [14:32] | I thought it was hard-boiled. | 我还以为只是煮老了 |
| [14:34] | Yeah, but still, the shell. | 但你连壳都没剥 |
| [14:37] | This is the best secret-friend handshake, bro. | 握了手 我们就是最佳密友了 |
| [14:39] | And it goes… | 那就… |
| [14:40] | Attention, everyone. | 注意 各位 |
| [14:41] | Do not look at me. | 不要看我 |
| [14:44] | I don’t–don’t know what to do. | 我的小眼神无处安放啊 |
| [14:45] | I am both overhung and humiliated | 我既后悔又羞愧 |
| [14:48] | by my uncouth comportment last night. | 昨晚实在太失礼了 |
| [14:51] | Please accept these formal letters of apology. | 请接收我的正式道歉信 |
| [14:54] | Further apologies for their appearance. | 抱歉字迹不好看 |
| [14:56] | I just couldn’t find a proper calligrapher at 5:00 in the morning. | 我起太早了 脑子不太清醒 |
| [14:59] | So, what happened to you two lovebirds last night, huh? | 你们俩昨晚怎么样了 |
| [15:02] | Frankly, it is none of your business. | 讲真 此事与你无关 |
| [15:03] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [15:04] | Jason was a… | 杰森昨晚… |
| [15:05] | perfect gentleman last night. | 表现得很绅士 |
| [15:07] | Thank you so much for getting me home safely. | 感谢你昨晚把我安全送回家 |
| [15:10] | I wouldn’t blame you should you ostracize me for my boorish behavior. | 就算你因为我太无礼把我扔在路边 我也不会怪你 |
| [15:14] | You weren’t boring. You were fun. | 不无聊[礼] 你昨晚可有意思了 |
| [15:17] | Crazy story– after you got into the cab, | 说出来怕吓到你 把你送上车后 |
| [15:19] | I forgot where I lived, | 我忘记自己住哪儿了 |
| [15:20] | but then I looked across the street, | 但我四下里望了望 |
| [15:22] | and there was a motel, | 发现了一家汽车旅馆 |
| [15:24] | and behind that, there was a dumpster. | 旅馆后面有个垃圾堆 |
| [15:25] | I slept in a dumpster. | 我在垃圾堆睡了一晚 |
| [15:28] | – Jason. – No, no, no, it was fine. | -杰森 -没事 挺好玩的 |
| [15:30] | And it was super fun getting to know you. | 我很高兴认识你 |
| [15:33] | You’re the fanciest person I know, | 你认识的人中 属你最牛 |
| [15:34] | next to my friend Ronnie, who drives a limo. | 和我开房车的朋友罗尼差不多 |
| [15:36] | He’s in limos all the time. | 他整天都能待在房车里 |
| [15:39] | What a life. | 人生啊 如此美好 |
| [15:40] | All right, as soon as Eleanor gets here, we’ll begin. | 等埃莉诺来 我们就开始 |
| [15:44] | Bad news, prof. | 坏消息 教授 |
| [15:45] | Eleanor might not be coming. | 埃莉诺可能不来了 |
| [15:46] | She bailed right after you did last night. | 昨晚你走后 她也走了 |
| [15:48] | Seemed like she was having second thoughts | 她好像后悔了 |
| [15:50] | about being part of the Brainy Bunch, so. | 不愿加入我们的”机灵鬼组合”了 |
| [15:52] | Well, that’s disappointing… | 好失望… |
| [15:54] | in–in–in terms of how it affects the study. | 研究可能会受影响 |
| [15:57] | But we press on, like professionals. | 但我们是专业人士 研究还是得继续 |
| [16:07] | Hey, do you think I should– | 我是不是该… |
| [16:08] | Yeah, and I already called you a car, | 没错 我已经替你叫车了 |
| [16:10] | because you should not drive. | 你现在不适合开车 |
| [16:11] | – It’s outside. – Thanks. | -就在外面等你 -谢谢 |
| [16:17] | Where’s outside? | 外面怎么走 |
| [16:26] | Hey, man. | 嗨 |
| [16:31] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [16:32] | Sorry, literally one second ago, | 抱歉 一秒前 |
| [16:36] | I was at the front desk. | 我还在前台 |
| [16:38] | I don’t know where I got this. | 我不知道这个是哪儿来的 |
| [16:41] | Anyway, are you coming to class? | 话说 你不去上课了吗 |
| [16:45] | I just don’t think the group thing is for me. | 我没法融入集体 |
| [16:47] | I’m better when it’s one-on-one | 我更适合一对一教学 |
| [16:48] | and we’re both looking at our phones | 大家在一起也只是玩手机 |
| [16:50] | and I don’t know the other person and we don’t talk. | 我不认识他们 也没什么好聊的 |
| [16:53] | I might just head back to Arizona. | 我不如直接回亚利桑那 |
| [16:57] | Listen. | 听我说 |
| [16:59] | My whole life has been a-a torture chamber of indecision, | 我多年来一直受选择困难的折磨 |
| [17:04] | and now I’m finally on the path to understanding why, | 现在终于逐渐明白原因了 |
| [17:07] | and the only reason that’s happening | 而之所以能醒悟 |
| [17:08] | is because you walked into my office, | 全是托你找上门的福 |
| [17:10] | and you said you wanted to be a better person. | 你说想要变成好人 |
| [17:12] | That was really brave. | 你真的很勇敢 |
| [17:14] | Now, I know we barely know each other, | 我们虽然不是很熟悉 |
| [17:16] | but, please, could you give me three months? | 但你能给我三个月时间吗 |
| [17:19] | Can you give me three months? | 就三个月 |
| [17:20] | I am–I am asking you as a friend. | 我是以朋友的身份请求你 |
| [17:25] | See, I just told you I don’t like talking. | 你瞧 我刚说了不喜欢当面聊天 |
| [17:27] | That whole thing could have been sent in a text | 这些话你本可以发短信告诉我 |
| [17:29] | that I pretended I never saw. | 而我可以假装没看到 |
| [17:33] | Fine, you did good at talking. | 好吧 你确实很有说服力 |
| [17:35] | I’ll come back to class. | 我会回去上课的 |
| [17:38] | Come in. No? | 请进 没人敲门吗 |
| [17:41] | – I’m gonna drive you back. – Okay. | -我送你回去 -好 |
| [17:44] | Hey, Dick Tracy called. | “至尊神探”打来了 |
| [17:47] | Said that I was right about | 他说我是对的 |
| [17:49] | Eleanor and Chidi having an unbreakable bond. | 埃莉诺和奇迪是不可分割的整体 |
| [17:52] | I don’t think you understand how that joke works. | 你好像没明白这个梗 |
| [17:54] | Yeah, that doesn’t matter. | 无所谓啦 |
| [17:54] | We won. That’s the point. | 我们赢了 这才是重点 |
| [17:57] | You won squat. | 你们赢个蛋蛋 |
| [17:58] | We’re gonna get ’em eventually. | 我们肯定能击垮他们 |
| [18:00] | I’ll just keep chipping away till one of ’em bails. | 我会继续捣乱 迟早有人会退出 |
| [18:03] | These four humans are all I care about in the universe, | 四人组是我唯一在乎的人 |
| [18:06] | and there is nothing- I mean nothing– | 无论是谁 没有人… |
| [18:08] | that’s gonna come between me– | 能够阻止我们… |
| [18:14] | Cool, you’re all together. | 太好了 你们都在 |
| [18:15] | The judge wants to see you. | 法官要见你们 |
| [18:17] | Now? Right now? | 现在 立刻吗 |
| [18:19] | – Like, all of us, or… – Yep. | -都要见吗… -对 |
| [18:23] | So, this is Earth, huh? | 这就是地球啊 |
| [18:28] | That’s pretty cool. | 还挺凉 |
| [18:39] | Michael, how many times did I say you could go down to Earth? | 迈克尔 我告诉你可以去地球几次 |
| [18:42] | Actually, you weren’t 100% explicit. | 其实 你也没说清楚 |
| [18:45] | One time. | 一次 |
| [18:46] | I said you could go down there, save their lives, | 我说 你可以去地球拯救他们 |
| [18:48] | start the new timeline, | 开启新的时间线 |
| [18:50] | and then come back here to observe them. | 然后回来 观察他们的变化 |
| [18:53] | One time! | 只能去一次 |
| [18:54] | Is what I said. | 我说得很清楚 |
| [18:55] | Uno. | 壹 |
| [18:58] | One. | 一次 |
| [18:59] | Your Honor, I have to say, | 法官阁下 容我说一句 |
| [19:00] | I support you one-hundo percent. | 我百分百赞同您的决定 |
| [19:03] | I mean, what Michael did is unbelievable. | 迈克尔真是太过分了 |
| [19:06] | Now, granted, I also tricked the doorman | 虽然我也贿赂了守门人 |
| [19:09] | and snuck down to Earth, | 偷偷溜去了地球 |
| [19:10] | but what are we gonna do– | 但我们是打算… |
| [19:13] | Do you realize what you did? | 你知道自己在做什么吗 |
| [19:14] | You meddled in human affairs. | 你插手了人间事务 |
| [19:17] | That ripples out, man. | 会引发连锁反应 |
| [19:19] | Do you know how much weird stuff has happened | 你知道因为你的小实验 |
| [19:22] | because of your little experiment? | 发生了多少奇怪的事情吗 |
| [19:24] | England left Europe. | 英国脱欧了 |
| [19:25] | That Hugh Jackman musical about P.T. Barnum? | 金刚狼去演马戏团大电影了 |
| [19:28] | It made, like, $400 million. | 票房四亿呢 |
| [19:30] | Also, the Jacksonville Jaguars are good now. | 杰克逊维尔美洲虎队崛起了 |
| [19:34] | Impossible. | 不可能 |
| [19:35] | I’m serious. | 是真的 |
| [19:36] | They’re gonna make the playoffs. | 他们都打入季后赛了 |
| [19:38] | Blake Bortles is kind of okay, maybe. | 布莱克·博特斯还行吧 |
| [19:41] | I don’t know. | 我也说不好 |
| [19:42] | It’s being debated amongst experts. | 专家意见不一 |
| [19:44] | It’s confusing. | 让人头疼 |
| [19:45] | But whatever it is, it’s yo fault! | 但无论如何 都是你的错 |
| [19:48] | Your experiment with the humans is over. | 你的人类实验结束了 |
| [19:50] | Are you gonna kill them? | 你要杀了他们 |
| [19:51] | No! | 当然不是 |
| [19:52] | But starting now, | 但从现在起 |
| [19:54] | there is no more monitoring them. | 不准再监视他们 |
| [19:56] | They’re just regular humans | 他们只是普通人 |
| [19:58] | that need to hit the regular point threshold | 要跟大家一样等待死亡来临 |
| [20:00] | to see if they make it into the Good Place. | 根据生平事迹 评判是否能进入”善地” |
| [20:01] | And if they don’t… | 如果进不了… |
| [20:11] | And right now, | 现在 |
| [20:12] | the two of you are going back to the Bad Place. | 你们俩赶紧回”恶地” |
| [20:14] | But they’ll retire Michael, | 但他们会让迈克尔退休 |
| [20:16] | and I’ll be marbleized. | 还会把我缩成弹球 |
| [20:17] | Well, maybe you should have thought about that | 你们插手人类事务前 |
| [20:19] | before you intervened in human affairs. | 就该想清楚后果 |
| [20:23] | I mean, because of you, | 因为你们 |
| [20:24] | Byron Allen owns The Weather Channel now. | 喜剧演员都去播天气预报了 |
| [20:28] | Is–is that bad? | 不好吗 |
| [20:29] | I don’t know, but it’s weird, man. | 怎么说呢 反正很奇怪 |
| [20:32] | Now come with me. | 乖乖跟我走 |
| [20:34] | Hey, my powers are back online. | 我的能力恢复了 |
| [20:37] | This must be everything I tried to summon on Earth. | 我在地球召唤的东西都要出来了 |
| [20:41] | – Stop it. – I don’t think I can. | -住手 -我停不下 |
| [20:42] | I’m like a printer | 我就像个打印机 |
| [20:44] | when the print queue suddenly starts processing all the unprinted documents. | 有打印任务了 我就会不停工作 |
| [20:48] | Man. | 糟了 |
| [20:49] | Buckle up, folks. | 做好准备 各位 |
| [20:55] | Let’s go, right now. | 快点 我们趁现在跑掉 |
| [20:57] | Janet, make it stop! | 珍妮特 快停下 |
| [21:01] | Janet, stop it. | 珍妮特 住手 |
| [21:02] | Janet, this is annoying. | 珍妮特 好烦啊 |
| [21:05] | Janet. | 珍妮特 |
| [21:07] | Good luck, frog man. | 祝好运 “青蛙男” |
| [21:09] | Pulling for ya. | 我挺你 |
| [21:10] | Janet, I know you’re still there! | 珍妮特 我知道你还在 |
| [21:19] | They escaped. | 他们跑了 |
| [21:20] | Yeah, thanks, Jeff. | 谢了 杰夫 我看得到 |