| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | What the hell is that? | 这是什么玩意 |
| [00:03] | Hey, guys! | 大家好 |
| [00:05] | What are you doing down here? | 你们怎么来了 |
| [00:06] | Well, we came to get more champagne, | 我们本想来拿几瓶香槟 |
| [00:09] | which is right behind that magic door. | 就在那扇魔法门后面 |
| [00:15] | What door? | 什么门 |
| [00:16] | What’s going on? | 什么情况 |
| [00:17] | Who are you, and why were you talking about us? | 你们是谁 为什么提到我们 |
| [00:19] | What’s the Good Place? And what are afterlife points? | “善地”是什么 “死后积分”又是什么 |
| [00:22] | And who has the most? And is it me? | 谁的积分最高 是我吗 |
| [00:23] | Wait a second, I know this guy. | 等下 我认识他 |
| [00:25] | You’re Zach Pizzazz. | 你是扎克·皮亚兹 |
| [00:26] | He got me here from Jacksonville. | 是他把我从杰克逊维尔带过来的 |
| [00:28] | No, this is the librarian from the university. | 不对 他是大学的图书管理员 |
| [00:31] | Well, I know him as Gordon Indigo, | 哎哟 他又名戈登·因迭戈 |
| [00:33] | a very rude Silicon Valley investor. | 是个无礼的硅谷投资人 |
| [00:35] | All right, guys. I can explain everything. | 各位 我能解释 |
| [00:38] | Just give me one second, okay? | 稍等一下 |
| [00:41] | How do we get out of this? | 我们要怎么脱身 |
| [00:42] | Well, they heard us explaining the entire system of the afterlife, | 他们已经听到了”死后世界”的运作体系 |
| [00:45] | and they saw an inter-dimensional door open and close, so… | 也看到了跨维度穿越门出现又消失… |
| [00:48] | not a ton of wiggle room here. | 我们没法狡辩忽悠他们了 |
| [00:50] | But you’re forgetting one, crucial piece of information… | 你忽视了一个重要的信息… |
| [00:55] | Right? | 对吧 |
| [00:57] | You’re forgetting one crucial piece of information that’ll save us. | 这个重要信息能拯救我们 |
| [01:00] | Buddy, you have, like, three seconds to explain this crazy space door, | 哥们 给你三秒 解释清楚那扇空间门怎么回事 |
| [01:03] | or Chidi here is gonna beat you up. | 不然我们就关门放奇迪了 |
| [01:05] | No, I’m–I’m not. | 不 人家不要 |
| [01:07] | But I would like to know about the space door. | 但我也想知道那扇门是怎么回事 |
| [01:10] | All right, I don’t know what choice we have. | 好吧 看来我们别无选择了 |
| [01:13] | I’ll tell you the truth. | 就跟你们实话实说吧 |
| [01:16] | My name is Special Agent Rick Justice, | 我是瑞克·贾斯提丝[正义]探员 |
| [01:18] | and this is Lisa Frenchy-Fuqua. | 这位是丽莎·弗兰奇[不正经]·福夸 |
| [01:20] | We’re with the FBI. | 我们是联调局探员 |
| [01:22] | And all of you are in grave danger. | 你们四个都很危险 |
| [01:27] | I knew it. | 不出小爷所料 |
| [01:34] | Agent Fuqua and I are paranormal investigators. | 我和福夸是超自然现象调查员 |
| [01:38] | We’re here to protect you from demons. | 我们来保护你们不受恶魔袭击 |
| [01:42] | No, wait, that’s real. Ghouls, ghouls… | 不对 等下 说秃噜了 是鬼怪 鬼怪… |
| [01:45] | We’re here to protect you from ghouls. | 我们来保护你们不受鬼怪袭击 |
| [01:47] | Now, I had to appear in different disguises to keep tabs on you. | 我之前乔装打扮是为保护你们 |
| [01:50] | But you are all involved together in this FBI case. | 你们四个都与此案有关联 |
| [01:55] | No, we–we can prove this. | 别急 我们有证据 |
| [01:57] | We have detailed files on all of you. | 我们掌握了你们四人的详细资料 |
| [01:59] | – Ask Janet anything. – Who’s Janet? | -不相信 尽管问珍妮特 -珍妮特是谁 |
| [02:01] | Frenchy. Sorry– | 是弗兰奇 抱歉… |
| [02:04] | Frenchy’s nickname is Janet. | 弗兰奇的绰号是珍妮特 |
| [02:06] | I thought her nickname was Frenchy. | 她的绰号不就是弗兰奇[不正经]吗 |
| [02:08] | It is. | 没错 |
| [02:10] | That’s why they call her, Lisa “Double Nickname” Fuqua. | 所以我们称她为 丽莎·双绰号·福夸 |
| [02:14] | Okay. | 别扯了 |
| [02:15] | Guys, I used to work at a place that was raided by the FBI pretty frequently. | 各位 联调局以前经常突袭我某个工作地 |
| [02:19] | I know a Fed when I see one. | 我对联调局探员了如指掌 |
| [02:21] | And these two jamokes are not FBI, okay? | 这俩傻蛋绝对不是联调局的人 |
| [02:24] | Who are you… really? | 你们到底是谁 |
| [02:27] | All right, all right, fine. Just give me one more second. | 好吧 好吧 再给我们一秒时间考虑 |
| [02:29] | One. | 就一秒 |
| [02:30] | – Serious question– – Yeah. | -问个严肃的问题 -问 |
| [02:32] | – Should we kill them? – What? | -我们要不要杀了他们 -啥 |
| [02:33] | It might work! | 说不定能行呢 |
| [02:35] | We kill them, go back through the door, | 我们杀了他们 再穿越时空 |
| [02:37] | somehow grab them before they get to the Bad Place, | 趁他们进入”恶地”前抓住他们 |
| [02:40] | and regroup from there. | 然后重新开始 |
| [02:41] | I could kill them right now. | 我现在就能杀了他们 |
| [02:42] | You know, it would be easy. | 像碾死小蚂蚁一样简单 |
| [02:43] | Their bodies are very poorly made. | 他们的小身板是豆腐渣工程 |
| [02:45] | They’re mostly goo and juice. | 体内大部分都是液体 |
| [02:47] | You just take the juice out, and then they’re dead. | 把水抽干 他们就死翘翘了 |
| [02:49] | Michael, they’ve seen through the door into the afterlife, | 迈克尔 他们透过穿越门看到了”死后世界” |
| [02:52] | and they heard how it works. | 也听到了善恶两地的运行机制 |
| [02:56] | It’s over. | 别挣扎了 |
| [03:03] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [03:06] | I guess I’ll start at the beginning. | 那我就从头讲起吧 |
| [03:08] | You all died. | 你们都死过一次了 |
| [03:16] | Well, this sucks. | 我有一句妈卖批 不知当讲不当讲 |
| [03:18] | So, to sum up… | 总而言之… |
| [03:20] | there is a heaven and hell. | 天堂和地狱真的存在 |
| [03:23] | We’ve been to hell, | 而我们之前下了地狱 |
| [03:25] | and now, no matter how good we are, for the rest of our lives, | 不管我们此生行了多少善事 |
| [03:29] | we’re going back to hell? | 死后还是得下地狱 |
| [03:31] | Again, it’s not the classic Christian hell, but… | 重申一下 不是基督教宣扬的那个地狱 不过… |
| [03:34] | that’s the gist, yes. | 你总结得没错 |
| [03:36] | As soon as you learned about the afterlife, | 你们一旦知道了”死后世界” |
| [03:38] | your motivation to be good was corrupted. | 行善的意图就不再单纯了 |
| [03:43] | So you can’t earn points anymore. | 以后再也没法赚取”良善积分”了 |
| [03:45] | So sorry for eternally dooming you. | 真抱歉 害你们永久坠入地狱 |
| [03:48] | And that’s our bad, guys. | 都是我们的错 各位 |
| [03:50] | So all the attempts you made to torture us– | 从你们折磨我们的各种花样来看 |
| [03:54] | we must have been in the afterlife for 100 years. | 我们在”死后世界”待了得有一百年了吧 |
| [03:57] | Almost 300, actually. | 其实近三百年了 |
| [03:58] | Well, how is it possible that all these things happened to us | 我们被折磨了几百年再回来 |
| [04:00] | but no time passed on Earth? | 怎么地球的时间完全没有流逝呢 |
| [04:01] | Did you go back in time to save us? | 你是穿越回过去救了我们吗 |
| [04:05] | I didn’t have to… | 我不用穿越回过去… |
| [04:06] | because of Jeremy Bearimy. | 因为有”Jeremy Bearimy” |
| [04:09] | Who’s Jeremy Bearimy? | 那是谁 |
| [04:11] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [04:12] | Things in the afterlife don’t happen while things are happening here, | “死后世界”和地球的时间不在同一维度 |
| [04:18] | because while time on Earth moves in a straight line– | 因为地球的时间走向是条直线 |
| [04:22] | one thing happens, then the next, then the next– | 事情按先后顺序发生 |
| [04:25] | time in the afterlife | 但在”死后世界” |
| [04:26] | moves in a “Jeremy Bearimy.” | 时间的走向是”Jeremy Bearimy” |
| [04:29] | What? | 啥 |
| [04:30] | In the afterlife, | 在”死后世界” |
| [04:31] | time doubles back and loops around | 时间线会折返 转圈 |
| [04:33] | and ends up looking something like… | 最后的走向大概是… |
| [04:36] | “Jeremy Bearimy” “Jeremy Bearimy.” | |
| [04:38] | This is the timeline in the afterlife. | 这是”死后世界”的时间线 |
| [04:41] | Happens to kind of look like the name “Jeremy Bearimy” in cursive English, | 写出来像是花体的”Jeremy Bearimy” |
| [04:45] | so that’s what we call it. | 所以我们就以此命名 |
| [04:47] | Sorry. I’m– my brain is melting. | 不好意思 你把我绕晕了 |
| [04:50] | How can events happen before the ones that happened… before? | 后来的事情怎么能先于之前的事情发生呢 |
| [04:56] | It’s just the way it works. | 我们的世界就是这样啊 |
| [04:57] | It’s– it’s Jeremy Bearimy. | 根据”Jeremy Bearimy”的走向进行 |
| [05:00] | I don’t know what to tell you. | 我尽力了 |
| [05:02] | That’s the easiest way to describe it. | 这已经是最好懂的一种解释了 |
| [05:03] | Okay, but… | 好吧 但是… |
| [05:06] | what the hell is this? | 这是什么 |
| [05:07] | The dot over the I– what the hell is that? | “I”上面的圆点是什么 |
| [05:10] | Okay, how do I explain this concisely? | 我想想怎么说比较好理解呢 |
| [05:13] | This is Tuesdays… | 这是周二… |
| [05:17] | and also July. | 也是六月 |
| [05:18] | – And sometimes it’s never. – That’s true. | -有时是永不 -没错 |
| [05:20] | Occasionally that moment on the Bearimy timeline | 有时 时间线上这一点 |
| [05:22] | is the time-moment when nothing never occurs. | 代表宇宙一片虚无 |
| [05:28] | So… you get it. | 你们领会意思吧 |
| [05:32] | This broke me! | 我要抓狂了 |
| [05:33] | The dot, over the I, | “I”上的圆点 |
| [05:36] | that broke me. I’m… | 简直让人抓狂 我… |
| [05:38] | I’m done. | 我受够了 |
| [05:39] | You know what? I’m glad this whole thing happened, | 怎么说呢 其实这样也挺好 |
| [05:42] | because now I can go back to living my life the way I used to– | 因为我可以过回原来的生活了 |
| [05:46] | only caring about myself | 只在乎我自己 |
| [05:48] | because being good is pointless. | 因为向善毫无意义 |
| [05:49] | No, no. Please, Eleanor– | 不不 拜托 埃莉诺… |
| [05:51] | No, thank you. I’m outtie. | 不 谢了 老娘不干了 |
| [05:52] | See you in hell. | 地狱见 |
| [05:54] | You know what I just realized? | 我刚想到 |
| [05:56] | I always say that when leaving a room, | 我离开时总会这么说 |
| [05:58] | but right now it’s accurate. | 但现在居然成真了 |
| [06:00] | I will literally see all of you in hell. | 我们真的会在地狱相见 |
| [06:04] | – Not if I see you first. – Let’s go, Jason. | -也许我先你一步下地狱呢 -走吧 杰森 |
| [06:07] | No, no– look, look, you guys, this is not over. | 别走 各位 这事还没完呢 |
| [06:10] | We have to stay together! | 我们得待在一起 |
| [06:11] | Look, we’ll figure something out! | 我们一定会想出办法 |
| [06:13] | Like, just one idea I had– | 我刚才想了个办法 |
| [06:15] | I could kill all of you. | 杀掉你们就行了 |
| [06:19] | That’s my birthday. | 这是我生日哎 |
| [06:22] | Hey, buddy. | 哥们 |
| [06:23] | It’s my birthday. One free margarita, please. | 今天是我生日 请我喝一杯玛格丽塔吧 |
| [06:27] | Well, happy birthday! | 生日快乐 |
| [06:28] | Can I just see some I.D.? | 能看下你身份证吗 |
| [06:30] | – No. – Why not? | -不能 -为什么 |
| [06:31] | Well, because it’s not really my birthday. | 因为今天其实不是我生日 |
| [06:33] | I just want a free margarita. | 我只想蹭杯酒 |
| [06:35] | Well, if I just randomly gave you a free drink, | 如果我让你随便蹭酒 |
| [06:36] | I’d have to do it for everyone. | 就也得让其他人免费喝 |
| [06:38] | Pretty soon I’d go out of business. | 我很快就会破产了 |
| [06:40] | Then don’t do it for everyone. | 那就别让大家都免费蹭酒 |
| [06:41] | Just do it for me because it’s my birthday. | 只让我蹭就行了 今天是我生日 |
| [06:44] | Happy birthday. | 生日快乐 |
| [06:48] | Jason, I have an idea. | 杰森 我有个主意 |
| [06:50] | But it’s a little risky. | 但有点冒险 |
| [06:52] | I need you to act as my bodyguard– | 你得冒充我的保镖 |
| [06:54] | like my friend, Kevin Costner, | 像我朋友凯文·康斯特纳一样 |
| [06:55] | in that movie where he was a bodyguard… | 他曾在电影中演过保镖 |
| [06:57] | “The Bodyguard.” | 就是《保镖》那部电影 |
| [06:58] | No problem– | 没问题 |
| [06:59] | my cousin once hired me to do crowd control for his off-brand SeaWorld. | 我表哥曾经雇我帮他的冒牌”海世界”控场 |
| [07:02] | Well, technically, it was just a bunch of kiddie pools full of jellyfish, | 说是”海世界” 其实就是个满是水母的小水池 |
| [07:06] | and instead of a killer whale, they killed a whale. | 里面也没有杀人鲸 不过他们确实杀了一条鲸鱼 |
| [07:11] | Excuse me, miss. we’d like to buy one opera, please. | 打扰一下 女士 我们想买一个剧院 |
| [07:15] | What he means is I would like to give $2 million to the Sydney Opera. | 他的意思是 我想捐两百万给悉尼剧院 |
| [07:20] | Ms. Al-Jamil, this is so generous. | 阿贾米尔女士 您真是太慷慨了 |
| [07:23] | With a donation of that size, | 这么大额的捐款 |
| [07:25] | we will dedicate a rehearsal hall in your honor. | 我们会以您的名字命名演出大厅 |
| [07:28] | Thank you, but, no. | 谢谢你 但不用了 |
| [07:29] | Lovely as it sounds to add to my collection of wings and atria, | 虽然能对外炫耀一番 |
| [07:33] | the gift will be anonymous. | 但我此次是匿名捐赠 |
| [07:35] | As you wish. I’ll draw up the papers. | 如您所愿 我会拟好相关文件 |
| [07:39] | Why don’t you want your name on the opera house? | 为什么不让他们以你的名字命名大厅 |
| [07:41] | I love getting my name on stuff. | 我可喜欢留名了 |
| [07:43] | In Jacksonville, I got a flu virus named after me | 杰克逊维尔有种流感就以我命名 |
| [07:45] | ’cause I kissed a bat on a dare. | 因为我玩大冒险时 亲了一只蝙蝠 |
| [07:47] | Well, I was thinking about why I was sent to hell, | 我一直在想自己为什么会下地狱 |
| [07:50] | as one is wont to do | 得知死后下了地狱 |
| [07:51] | when one has recently been told that one had been sent to hell, | 大概人人都会反思自己 |
| [07:54] | and it occurred to me, | 结果我意识到 |
| [07:55] | I have always been held captive by my desire for attention. | 我一直在刷存在感 丧失了本心 |
| [07:59] | Now that I know how it all ends, | 既然现在我知道这样做的下场了 |
| [08:01] | I just want to be virtuous for virtue’s sake. | 我只想以行善之名做点好事 |
| [08:04] | That’s beautiful. | 说得太对了 |
| [08:05] | I got to say, though, | 但我得说一句 |
| [08:06] | if you want to do more charity, | 如果你想继续做慈善 |
| [08:08] | I know a way that could be a lot of fun. | 我知道怎么做会更有趣 |
| [08:16] | Hey, you want to talk to God? | 你想和上帝对话吗 |
| [08:19] | “God is dead. | “上帝已死 |
| [08:20] | “God remains dead, and we have killed him. | “上帝之死 我们之过 |
| [08:22] | “Who will wipe this blood off us? | “谁人替我们擦净身上之血 |
| [08:25] | “What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent?” | “定要发明何种赎罪节日 宗教游戏” |
| [08:31] | Friedrich Nietzsche, 1882. | 1882年 尼采 |
| [08:34] | I was just trying to sell you some drugs, | 我刚才只是想卖毒品给你 |
| [08:35] | and you made it weird! | 你真是太破坏气氛了 |
| [08:53] | I’ve never written a manifesto before. | 我从没写过宣言哎 |
| [08:54] | What are you gonna say? | 你想写什么 |
| [08:56] | It will be a complete account of everything we’ve learned. | 我们这一路走来的心得 |
| [08:59] | From the beginning of my neighborhood to right now | 从我建立社区直至今日的心得体会 |
| [09:01] | and then a recommendation of how we feel the afterlife could be improved. | 再写点提升”死后世界”的建议 |
| [09:06] | When we turn ourselves in, we’ll give it to the judge. | 我们自首时 交给法官 |
| [09:09] | Hopefully she’ll read it. | 希望她能看一眼 |
| [09:11] | We failed, Janet. | 我们失败了 珍妮特 |
| [09:13] | But maybe one day, someone else will succeed. | 但也许终会有人成功 |
| [09:17] | Okay. So… | 好了 开始吧… |
| [09:20] | A… | 一份… |
| [09:21] | man…i…fes…to. | 西坞庵…宣 一案…言 |
| [09:29] | by… | 作者… |
| [09:30] | mi– | 么爱…迈 |
| [09:32] | Where’s the H? | “克”在哪儿 |
| [09:33] | This keyboard doesn’t have an H. | 这个键盘居然不能打”克” |
| [09:35] | Well– wait. | 嗷 等下 |
| [09:36] | Wait, I see it, I see it! | 等下 我看到了 我看到了 |
| [09:41] | Look what I did! | 你瞧 |
| [09:42] | Yeah. I wrote, “Mickahel”! | 我打出”迈克儿尔”了耶 |
| [09:44] | That’s– | 改过来… |
| [09:45] | Okay. Back, back, back, back, back. | 好吧 回车 删除 删除 |
| [09:47] | Maybe you should dictate, and I should type. | 你来说 我来打字吧 |
| [09:51] | Good call. | 好主意 |
| [09:53] | Just laying out some early details. | 我先介绍一下背景 |
| [09:55] | Go ahead and start dictating. | 你开始口述吧 |
| [09:58] | Look, there have to be rules. Every place has rules. | 肯定有规则吧 规则无处不在啊 |
| [10:01] | Fine. Here are my rules. | 好吧 我的规则是这样 |
| [10:03] | Rule number one– I get to do whatever I want, | 第一 我可以随心所欲 |
| [10:05] | and you all just have to deal with it. | 你们只能跟着我的节奏来 |
| [10:07] | Rule two– no more Spider-Man movies. | 第二 别再拍《蜘蛛侠》电影了 |
| [10:09] | There’s way too many Spider-Man movies! | 拍那么多版蜘蛛侠闹哪样啊 |
| [10:11] | Too many dorky little twerpy Spider-Men. | 加菲版 托比版 荷兰弟版 傻傻分不清啊 |
| [10:14] | Rule three– everyone leave me alone. | 第三 都别来烦我 |
| [10:18] | So you just take care of yourself. | 那你只管自己就行了 |
| [10:20] | You don’t owe anything to anyone else? | 不欠任何人 |
| [10:22] | If people lived that way, society would break down. | 如果人人都这样 社会就要分崩瓦解了 |
| [10:24] | Yeah, in America, everyone does whatever they want. | 美帝人民随心所愿 |
| [10:27] | Society did break down. | 美国社会确实玩崩了 |
| [10:28] | It’s terrible, and it’s great. | 虽然秩序差 但活得自在啊 |
| [10:30] | You only look out for number one, | 你只用考虑自己 |
| [10:32] | scream at whoever disagrees with you. | 看谁不爽就吼谁 |
| [10:34] | There are no bees because they all died, | 没有蜜蜂 因为都死了 |
| [10:36] | and if you need surgery, | 如果需要手术 |
| [10:38] | you just beg for money on the Internet. | 在网上卖惨求捐助就行了 |
| [10:39] | It’s a perfect system. | 简直完美啊 |
| [10:40] | Now get me another drink. Tomorrow’s my birthday. | 再给我来一杯 明天还是我生日 |
| [10:45] | Well, well, well… A wallet. | 哎哟喂 捡到钱包了 |
| [10:50] | My rules say I get to take the cash out and keep it, | 姐的规则是 拿钱走人 |
| [10:53] | because in my society, I do whatever I want, | 因为在姐的世界里 姐可以随心所欲 |
| [10:55] | ’cause I’m awesome. | 不要迷恋姐 |
| [11:00] | Just take it. Take it, Eleanor. | 拿走就是了 拿走吧 埃莉诺 |
| [11:03] | Just– | 拿走… |
| [11:07] | All right, this is the address on the license. | 驾照上的地址就是这里 |
| [11:09] | That’ll be 58 bucks. | 车费58 |
| [11:10] | Keep the meter running– | 继续打表 |
| [11:11] | as soon as I’m done here, I’m gonna head to the airport | 我办完事就直接去机场 |
| [11:13] | and get the hell out of this trash country, | 离开这个垃圾国家 |
| [11:15] | where everyone is either a criminal or a spider. | 这里除了罪犯 就是蜘蛛侠 |
| [11:20] | Hello, ma’am. Is there a Fred Booth here? | 你好 女士 弗雷德·布斯住在这里吗 |
| [11:22] | I found his wallet, | 我捡到了他的钱包 |
| [11:23] | and now I’m doing a nice thing and returning it because I suck. | 我大发慈悲来还给他 因为我是个怂货 |
| [11:27] | Sorry, he moved. | 抱歉 他搬走了 |
| [11:28] | I can give you his new address if you’d like. | 不过我可以把他的新地址给你 |
| [11:30] | Actually, I have some of his mail. | 其实 他的邮件也在我这里 |
| [11:32] | If you’re gonna go see him, could you bring it along? | 如果你去找他 顺便帮忙带过去吧 |
| [11:34] | Of course. I would love to bring some rando his mail. | 没问题 我很愿意帮陌生人捎带东西 |
| [11:38] | Anything else you want me to schlep over? | 还有别的东西需要帮忙带吗 |
| [11:41] | Well, this awesome day gets awesomer. | 今天真是越来越”精彩”了 |
| [11:45] | Before the airport, we’re heading to 78 Palmer Street. | 先去帕尔默街78号 再去机场 |
| [11:49] | That’s right next to the bar where I picked you up! | 就在我载上你的那个酒吧旁边 |
| [11:51] | I feel like a bloody boomerang! | 我就像回旋镖哎 好酷 |
| [11:53] | Of course you do! | 你开心就好 |
| [12:13] | Sir, you, can’t shop here without a shirt. | 先生 不穿上衣 不能进入 |
| [12:27] | Sir, that’ll be $880. | 先生 一共880 |
| [12:30] | Here’s my credit card. | 这是我的信用卡 |
| [12:31] | Why don’t you just charge it and keep it forever? | 你拿去随便刷 |
| [12:34] | And also, here’s the keys to my car. | 这是我的车钥匙 |
| [12:36] | Wait. Do you guys have, like, a “Take-a-car, leave-a-car” tray? | 等下 你们有”买一送一”活动吗 |
| [12:39] | No? | 没有吗 |
| [12:40] | Just take it. Just take it. | 拿走吧 只管拿走好了 |
| [12:45] | Excuse me, sir. | 打扰一下 先生 |
| [12:46] | Would you like some free money? | 你愿意要这些钱吗 |
| [12:48] | Now you can buy fingers for your gloves! | 这样你就能买得起不破洞的手套啦 |
| [12:51] | Hello, madam. Are you poor? | 你好 女士 你穷吗 |
| [12:53] | Here’s $5,000 for a new stroller. | 给你五千块 拿去买个新婴儿车 |
| [12:55] | Have a nice day! | 祝你愉快 |
| [12:56] | – You don’t have to say the “Are you poor?” part. – Right. | -不用先问人家穷不穷 -好 |
| [12:59] | – Hello, here’s some money. – Here you go! | -给你钱 -拿着吧 |
| [13:01] | – Hello. – Here you go. | -你好 -给你钱 |
| [13:03] | Now you can buy a bigger chin guitar! | 你可以去买把新吉他了 |
| [13:07] | This was a truly great plan. | 这个主意真是太棒了 |
| [13:09] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [13:11] | Man, there’s so many times | 天呐 之前有很多次 |
| [13:12] | that just this amount of money would have changed my life. | 这笔钱本能改变我的人生 |
| [13:16] | I could have paid my rent. | 我就能付得起房租 |
| [13:18] | I could have gone to a real doctor, | 去看个真正的医生 |
| [13:20] | instead of pretending I was a big dog so I could go to the vet. | 而不是假装自己是只狗狗 去看兽医了 |
| [13:24] | You know, that gives me an idea… | 你这番话启发了我… |
| [13:27] | which I suppose one could argue means | 有人可能会反驳说 |
| [13:29] | that anything could have given me an idea. | 万物都能给人以启发 |
| [13:31] | Come with me! | 跟我来 |
| [13:33] | I’m sorry, Ms. Al-Jamil, | 抱歉 阿贾米尔女士 |
| [13:35] | but I just don’t feel comfortable processing this request. | 我就是不太愿意这么做 |
| [13:38] | – Why not? – Well, it just seems a bit… | -为什么 -就是感觉有点奇怪… |
| [13:40] | odd to transfer the totality of your account– | 把你的全部资产… |
| [13:44] | 131 million British pounds to the account of… | 一亿三千一百万英镑都转给… |
| [13:49] | this person… | 这个人… |
| [13:50] | a man who is so flagrantly ignoring the “One lollipop per customer” rule. | 他居然厚颜无耻地无视了”一人一根棒棒糖”的规定 |
| [13:54] | No, I walked out and back in each time, | 才不是 我每次都出去再进来 |
| [13:57] | so I’m different customers. | 这样就是另一个我了 |
| [13:59] | We’re technically supposed to shut down the bank | 其实 只要佛罗里达的人来 |
| [14:01] | if anyone from Florida even walks in. | 本银行就该歇业 |
| [14:04] | Look, all my life, this money has been a weight around my neck– | 这些金钱一直是我的拖累[沉甸甸地挂在脖子上] |
| [14:08] | like the Heart of the Ocean necklace my friend James Cameron once gave me. | 就像卡梅隆给我的那条”海洋之心”项链一样 |
| [14:11] | I don’t want the money. My friend Jason does. | 我不想要这些钱 我的朋友杰森正好需要 |
| [14:13] | I would like to give it to him. | 我想转给他 |
| [14:15] | If it’s easier, you can just put it on a Game Stop gift card. | 要是嫌麻烦 你们可以直接给我换成游戏点卡 |
| [14:18] | That does not make it easier. | 那样更麻烦 |
| [14:20] | I can’t help you. I’m sorry. | 我帮不了你 抱歉 |
| [14:26] | – G’day. – Fred, my name is Eleanor Shellstrop. | -你好 -弗雷德 我叫埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普 |
| [14:28] | I have all your crap. | 这都是你的东西 |
| [14:31] | – Thank you. – And your wallet. | -谢谢你 -这是你的钱包 |
| [14:34] | – My goodness! Thank you so much! – It was nothing. | -天呐 太感谢了 -不用客气 |
| [14:39] | Dude, I didn’t take your money. | 哥们 我没拿你的钱 |
| [14:41] | I would never even think of doing that. | 我压根没想拿你的钱 |
| [14:42] | No, no, no. I’m not worried about that. | 不不不 我不是在数钱 |
| [14:45] | Here it is. | 找到了 |
| [14:48] | I started a new job a few months ago, | 几个月前 我找了份新工作 |
| [14:50] | and I got really nervous. | 我特别焦虑 |
| [14:52] | So my daughter, Carolyn, drew this for me to make me feel better. | 所以我女儿卡洛琳画了这张画来安慰我 |
| [14:55] | It’s my good-luck charm. | 这是我的”好运符” |
| [14:57] | Every time I’m stressed at work now, | 现在 每当我工作焦虑时 |
| [14:58] | I just have to look at this, | 只要看一眼这张画 |
| [15:00] | and I feel… safe. | 我就会安心 |
| [15:03] | A lot of people wouldn’t have tried so hard to get this to me. | 多数人根本不会大老远费劲来还给我 |
| [15:06] | You are a good person, Eleanor. | 你是个好人 埃莉诺 |
| [15:09] | I really hope my daughter turns out like you when she grows up. | 我真希望我女儿长大后 也像你一样善良 |
| [15:13] | Are you all right? | 你没事吧 |
| [15:14] | No, you shut up! | 有事 你闭嘴 |
| [15:16] | Sorry, it’s been a weird day. | 抱歉 我今天太糟心了 |
| [15:20] | ♪ You put the Peeps in the chili pot ♪ | ♪糖果蘸辣椒♪ |
| [15:22] | ♪ And eat them both up ♪ | ♪统统全吃掉♪ |
| [15:24] | ♪ You put the Peeps in the chili pot ♪ | ♪糖果蘸辣椒♪ |
| [15:25] | ♪ And add the M&Ms ♪ | ♪巧克力也别忘掉♪ |
| [15:27] | ♪ You put the Peeps in the chili pot ♪ | ♪糖果蘸辣椒♪ |
| [15:29] | ♪ And it makes it taste bad ♪ | ♪难吃到舌头掉♪ |
| [15:33] | I’m gonna eat all this chili… | 我要把这些辣椒都吃掉… |
| [15:34] | and/or die trying. | 吃不掉 毋宁死 |
| [15:38] | Anyone want any? | 有人想吃吗 |
| [15:39] | I’m just gonna put it right down here. | 我就放在这儿 想吃就来拿 |
| [15:41] | Come on. | 别害羞啊 |
| [15:42] | Dip your paws in my chili. | 用你们的小爪子蘸点尝尝啊 |
| [15:44] | Scoop your little mittens right in the stew. | 伸出小手拿点试试看啊 |
| [15:46] | Professor, I can see that you’re going through something, | 教授 我知道您心情不好 |
| [15:49] | but exams are next week, | 但下周就考试了 |
| [15:50] | so can you teach us anything? | 你能教教我们吗 |
| [15:52] | All right, nerd. | 好吧 书呆子 |
| [15:55] | You want to learn something? I’ll teach you something. | 让我教课 那我就教教你们 |
| [15:57] | I’m gonna teach you the meaning of life. | 我就教教你们 生命的意义 |
| [15:59] | How do you like them apples? | 竖起耳朵听好了 |
| [16:01] | Now, over the last 2,500 years, | 2500年以来 |
| [16:05] | western philosophers have formed three main theories | 西方哲学家形成了三种主要的观点 |
| [16:08] | on how to live an ethical life. | 指导人们过上道德的生活 |
| [16:10] | Now, first off, there’s virtue ethics. | 第一 美德伦理学 |
| [16:13] | Aristotle believed that there were certain virtues of mind and character, | 亚里士多德相信美德的存在 |
| [16:18] | like courage or generosity, | 比如 勇气 慷慨 |
| [16:19] | and you should try to develop yourself in accordance with those virtues. | 人应遵守美德 提升自我 |
| [16:24] | The gift will be anonymous. | 这件礼物是匿名的 |
| [16:25] | Next, there’s consequentialism. | 第二 结果论 |
| [16:28] | The basis for judgment about whether something is right or wrong | 事物的正确与否 |
| [16:31] | stems from the consequences of that action. | 应根据该行为产生的后果来判断 |
| [16:35] | How much utility, or good, did it accomplish versus how much pain, or bad. | 比较其带来的好与坏 |
| [16:40] | And finally, there’s deontology, | 第三 义务论 |
| [16:42] | the school of thought that there are strict rules and duties | 定下了严格的纪律与义务 |
| [16:46] | that everyone must adhere to in a functioning society. | 社会若要正常运转 人人必须履行义务 |
| [16:49] | Being ethical is simply identifying and obeying those duties and following those rules. | 道德就是履行义务 遵守纪律 |
| [16:54] | But here’s the thing, my little chili babies, | 但问题是 我的辣椒宝宝们 |
| [16:56] | all three of those theories are hot, stinky cat dookie. | 这三种理论都是骗小孩子的 |
| [16:59] | The true meaning of life, | 生命的真正意义 |
| [17:02] | the actual ethical system that you should all follow is nihilism. | 你们应奉行的真正道德准则是虚无主义 |
| [17:08] | The world is empty. | 世界一片虚无 |
| [17:11] | There is no point to anything, | 一切都是徒劳 |
| [17:14] | and you’re just gonna die. | 人终有一死 |
| [17:16] | So do whatever. | 要及时行乐 |
| [17:18] | And now I’m gonna eat my marshmallow-candy chili in silence, | 我要默默地吃我的辣椒糖糖了 |
| [17:23] | and you all can jump up your own butts. | 你们可以收拾书包走人了 |
| [17:28] | Is that gonna be on the test? | 考试会考这些吗 |
| [17:29] | Yes. And, no. | 会 也不会 |
| [17:32] | And you all get As or Fs. | 你们都能拿优秀 也都会不及格 |
| [17:34] | And there is no test. | 没有考试 |
| [17:35] | And you all failed it, and you all got As. | 你们都挂了 又都拿了优秀 |
| [17:37] | Who cares? Good-bye. | 谁在乎啊 再见 |
| [17:40] | Good-bye. | 快走吧 |
| [17:49] | Cool lecture. | 讲得真好 |
| [17:51] | And cooler shirt. | 衬衫也很酷 |
| [17:53] | Feeling all right? | 你还好吗 |
| [17:54] | I feel fine. | 还行吧 |
| [17:56] | I do have a stomachache. | 倒是有点胃疼 |
| [17:58] | Why do I always have a stomachache? | 我怎么总是胃疼呢 |
| [18:00] | Well, you just ate 50 pounds of chili, bro. | 你刚吃了一大坨辣椒 哥们 |
| [18:02] | This one’s on you. | 胃疼活该啊 |
| [18:03] | Look, I know the future seems bleak. | 虽然未来了无希望 |
| [18:06] | But I have a plan. | 但我有个主意 |
| [18:08] | Come with me. | 跟我来 |
| [18:12] | No, leave that chili, weirdo. | 不行 别再碰辣椒了 傻小子 |
| [18:16] | A complete account of every single thing we’ve done and learned. | 我们所作所为和心得体会的完美总结 |
| [18:20] | I added all the data we’ve gathered here on Earth in chart and in graph form. | 我还把我们在地球收集的数据都整理成图表了 |
| [18:25] | And I added a pretty tasty little recipe | 还加了一个美味的配方 |
| [18:27] | for cinnamon rolls made out of pizza dough. | 用披萨面团做肉桂卷 |
| [18:31] | Maybe someone someday can learn from our mistakes. | 也许后人能从我们的错误中吸取经验教训 |
| [18:35] | And enact real change in the process of judging people. | 改变评判善恶的标准 |
| [18:40] | But for now, Janet, old friend, | 但现在 珍妮特 我的老朋友 |
| [18:43] | we are going to enjoy our time on Earth before we’re retired. | 我们退休前 得好好享受在地球的时光 |
| [18:47] | So, let’s get started. | 抓紧时间开始吧 |
| [18:49] | I know it’s touristy, | 虽然很俗气 |
| [18:51] | but I’d really like to visit a LensCrafters. | 但我真的很想去眼镜店看看 |
| [18:53] | And I’d like to get bangs. | 我想试试滚床单 |
| [18:56] | Hey, guys. | 两位 |
| [18:58] | It– it’s really nice to see you. | 见到你们真好 |
| [19:01] | Is everything okay… | 一切都好吗… |
| [19:02] | other than, you know, everything? | 除了注定要下地狱… |
| [19:04] | We’ve started to accept our fates. | 我们已经慢慢接受命运了 |
| [19:07] | It’s all chili under the bridge. | 都是桥下的辣椒了[过去了] |
| [19:11] | Good, you are all here. Big news everyone… | 太好了 你们都在 告诉大家一个重磅消息… |
| [19:13] | We got… | 我们俩… |
| [19:15] | – Tacos! – Married! | -买了墨西哥卷饼 -结婚了 |
| [19:16] | Yeah. Yeah, we got married. | 噢 对 我们结婚了 |
| [19:18] | And then after we got married, we got tacos! | 结完婚 我们还买了墨西哥卷饼 |
| [19:23] | That’s crazy! | 太疯狂了 |
| [19:25] | It’s strictly platonic, of course. | 当然了 是柏拉图式婚姻 |
| [19:28] | We only did it so I could legally give Jason half my money. | 结婚只是为了合法地把我的半数财产转移给杰森 |
| [19:31] | We just popped over to the British Embassy and signed the papers. | 我们就直接去英国大使馆领了证 |
| [19:34] | That’s insane, but it’s also, like… | 够劲爆 但大概… |
| [19:36] | the 11th most insane thing to happen today, | 在今天的”劲爆排行榜”上也就排11名吧 |
| [19:39] | so… who cares? | 没人关心啦 |
| [19:40] | I need everyone to focus up. | 大家听我说 |
| [19:42] | So the four of us… | 我们四人… |
| [19:46] | the six of us, really, are doomed. | 我们六人肯定要下地狱了 |
| [19:49] | Our fates are sealed. | 我们的命运已定 |
| [19:51] | But I think we have one move left. | 但我们应该还有一招 |
| [19:53] | We can try. | 我们可以试试 |
| [19:55] | Try… what? | 试什么 |
| [19:57] | Try to do good. | 试着行善 |
| [19:59] | That stupid, little voice in my head | 我脑子里有个烦人的小声音 |
| [20:01] | told me to do something good today, | 今天一直嚷嚷着让我做好事 |
| [20:02] | and it was so annoying, | 虽然折磨得我神经衰弱 |
| [20:03] | but it also made a dork and his very untalented daughter super happy. | 但却给一个傻男人和他没有绘画天分的女儿带来了幸福 |
| [20:08] | Me trying just a little bit put some good out into the world. | 每人尽一点绵薄之力 为世界做点好事 |
| [20:13] | The six of us are not getting into the Good Place. | 我们六人虽然进不了”善地” |
| [20:16] | But there are still people in this world that we care about, | 但世界上还有我们在乎的人 |
| [20:20] | so I say we try and help them be good people. | 所以我们何不匡扶他人 |
| [20:23] | Try and help them get in. | 引领大家进入”善地” |
| [20:25] | I mean, why not try? | 何不一试呢 |
| [20:26] | It’s better than not trying, right? | 总好过直接放弃吧 |
| [20:28] | That’s a lovely sentiment, Eleanor. | 你真是太有想法了 埃莉诺 |
| [20:31] | Let’s try. I’m in. | 我们试试吧 我加入 |
| [20:33] | I’m in, too. | 我也加入 |
| [20:34] | I’m gonna remember this day forever | 我会永远记住这一天 |
| [20:36] | because of your dope speech | 因为你这番话太酷了 |
| [20:37] | and also because of the great tacos I had | 加上 我今天吃到了美味的墨西哥卷饼 |
| [20:39] | and also because I got married | 再加上 我还结婚了 |
| [20:41] | and I found out I was going to hell | 再再加上 我知道死后会下地狱 |
| [20:42] | and also I became a hundred-millionaire– | 再再再加上 我成了亿万富翁… |
| [20:44] | All right, we get it. We get it. | 行了行了 我们懂你意思了 |
| [20:45] | It goes without saying that we’re in. | 不用说 我们肯定加入啊 |
| [20:47] | Let’s say it anyway. | 还是大声说出来吧 |
| [20:49] | – We’re in– – We’re– | -我们加… -我们… |
| [20:49] | All right, you go– | 你先说… |
| [20:51] | – We’re in– – We’re in– | -我们加… -我们加… |
| [20:52] | We’re just so excited! | 我们就是太激动了 |
| [20:54] | We’re in! | 我们加入 |
| [20:55] | What do you say, bud? | 怎么样 哥们 |
| [20:56] | You want to join the Soul Squad? | 要加入”灵魂小队”吗 |
| [20:58] | Try to save some souls? | 拯救众生灵魂 |
| [20:59] | Yeah. I’m in. | 好 我加入 |
| [21:02] | But first, I have to go to the bathroom forever. | 但我得先去厕所吐个天长地久 |
| [21:06] | There you are, my love. | 你在这儿呢 亲爱的 |
| [21:08] | I was just on my way to the MRI lab. | 我刚才正打算去核磁共振实验室 |
| [21:10] | I thought I heard your voice. | 结果听到一个声音很像你 |
| [21:11] | Ready to go to the airport? | 准备出发去机场吧 |
| [21:13] | Start our lives together? | 一起开始我们的新生活 |
| [21:16] | Go ahead, Tahani, we’re rolling. | 告诉他 塔哈妮 录着像呢 |