| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | So my mom is alive, and she lives here. | 这么说 我妈还活着 她现在住这儿 |
| [00:04] | Why didn’t you tell me sooner, man? | 你为什么不早点说 老兄 |
| [00:06] | I had already told you that you died | 我已经告诉你 你死了 |
| [00:09] | and that I had tortured you for centuries | 我折磨了你几个世纪 |
| [00:11] | and that you’re doomed to be tortured again. | 而且你注定还要下地狱 |
| [00:13] | I just didn’t want to be, like, a bummer. | 我只是不想再让你心塞了 |
| [00:17] | But now you know everything important about your life. | 但该知道的事 你现在全都知道了 |
| [00:20] | I promise. | 我发誓这次是实话 |
| [00:21] | A police officer came to my home | 一位警察上门通知我 |
| [00:24] | and told me that my mom had been accidentally trampled to death | 我妈在雷可福磊斯合唱团演唱会上 |
| [00:27] | when she bent down to adjust her toe ring at a Rascal Flatts concert. | 弯腰调整趾环时被踩踏 去世了 |
| [00:31] | That police officer was an actor. | 那个警察是找人扮演的 |
| [00:33] | See, about a month before, your mom had gotten drunk, | 大约一个月前 你妈喝醉了 |
| [00:36] | wandered into a charity auction, | 误打误撞走进一个慈善拍卖会 |
| [00:38] | and bid $30,000 for a date with Gene Simmons, | 以三万美金拍下与吉恩·西蒙斯的约会夜 |
| [00:42] | outbidding everyone else by $29,800. | 比其他出价者高出两万九千八 |
| [00:46] | She didn’t want to pay, so she faked her death, | 她不想付钱 所以假死 |
| [00:50] | moved to Nevada, and reinvented herself as Diana Tremaine. | 搬来内华达州 化名为戴安娜·特里梅因 |
| [00:53] | Diana Tremaine is my fake ID name. | 戴安娜·特里梅因是我的御用假名 |
| [00:56] | How dare she steal the identity I stole? | 她竟然盗用我偷走的名字 |
| [00:59] | Look, I know this is a lot to take in, | 我知道这一时难以接受 |
| [01:01] | but we’re here to help your mom get into the Good Place. | 但我们是来帮助你妈进入”善地” |
| [01:05] | Whatever you’re feeling, remember, this is not about you. | 无论你有什么怨气 记住 别意气用事 |
| [01:09] | Right. | 好 |
| [01:11] | How could you do this to me? | 你怎么能这么对我 |
| [01:20] | Yay, you found me. | 你找到我啦 |
| [01:22] | What the hell, Mom? | 搞什么 妈 |
| [01:23] | Okay, baby, I can explain everything. | 听我说 宝贝 我能解释 |
| [01:26] | Let’s all just take a breath. | 我们先深吸口气 |
| [01:28] | You haven’t even introduced me | 你还没向我介绍 |
| [01:29] | to this stretched-out, sexy Alex Trebek. | 这位高大性感的亚历克斯·特雷贝克是谁呢 |
| [01:33] | I’m Michael. It’s nice to meet you, Donna. | 我叫迈克尔 很高兴见到你 唐娜 |
| [01:35] | it’s Diana now for, you know, police reasons. | 我现在叫戴安娜 你懂的 为安全起见 |
| [01:40] | By the way, whose McMansion is this? | 话说这豪华别墅是谁的 |
| [01:42] | My boyfriend Dave’s. | 我男友戴夫的 |
| [01:43] | He’s kind of a dork but real sweet and so fancy. | 他有点傻 但非常体贴 也很讲究 |
| [01:48] | His napkins are made out of, like, shirt material. | 他的餐巾是用衬衣那种材料做的 |
| [01:52] | Cloth. | 那叫布 |
| [01:53] | Okay, now this is making sense. | 好吧 这下我明白了 |
| [01:56] | You change your name, bag a rich loser with a tacky house. | 你改头换面 傍了个王老五 住进大房子 |
| [02:00] | I get it. You’re running a scam. | 我懂了 这是你的一个骗局 |
| [02:03] | No, baby, this is as real as the nails under my acrylic nails. | 不 宝贝 我对他像美甲下的指甲一样真 |
| [02:07] | – I’m a different person. – Spare me. | -我和以前不同了 -少跟我胡扯 |
| [02:09] | You will always be sun-baked Arizona trash, | 你永远都是狗改不了吃屎 |
| [02:12] | and I know that, because I grew up baking right beside you. | 因为我从小就这么被你带大的 |
| [02:15] | Jeez, I didn’t know we had company. | 天 家里来客人了啊 |
| [02:18] | – Hey. Hi, I’m Dave. – Michael. | -你好 我是戴夫 -迈克尔 |
| [02:20] | Of course you’re Dave. | 你就是传说中的戴夫 |
| [02:20] | Hey, Dave, you and I need to have a little conversation. | 戴夫 咱俩得好好谈谈 |
| [02:24] | Diana! | 戴安娜 |
| [02:26] | Who the hell is this chick? | 这小妞是谁 |
| [02:27] | This is my little potato pie, Patricia. | 我的心肝小宝贝 帕特丽夏 |
| [02:29] | And who might you be, by the way? | 你是谁啊 |
| [02:32] | Eleanor is my sorority sister. | 埃莉诺是我姐妹会的好友 |
| [02:34] | Right. Good old Kappa Zeta…Jones. | 没错 温馨美好的卡帕·捷塔·琼斯 |
| [02:41] | I can’t believe I have to wait in line to see my own sister. | 我竟然要排这么长的队去见我姐 |
| [02:43] | I have never waited in any kind of formation before, | 我以前从没排过任何队 |
| [02:46] | let alone a line. | 更别说站着等了 |
| [02:48] | Is this whole room just her work? | 这里全是她的作品吗 |
| [02:50] | Don’t be fooled, Chidi. Kamilah is a charlatan. | 别被骗了 奇迪 卡米拉就是个骗子 |
| [02:53] | All she has to do is paint some dumb shapes, and people go mad. | 她只不过画了几个圈 大家都为之疯狂 |
| [02:56] | Those aren’t dumb shapes. They’re a pair of boobs. | 这些不是一般的圈 是一对胸 |
| [02:59] | And then two extra side boobs. | 边上还有俩相距更远的胸 |
| [03:01] | It symbolizes that boobs come in all shapes and sizes | 代表了世上有各种形态大小 |
| [03:04] | and distances apart. | 和间距不同的胸 |
| [03:06] | Maybe we should just go. | 我们还是走吧 |
| [03:07] | There are plenty of other people I could help, | 我可以帮助其他很多人 |
| [03:09] | like my good friend Ben Affleck | 比如我好友 本·阿弗莱克 |
| [03:10] | and his crippling addiction to back tattoos, | 帮他摆脱对后背刺青的疯狂痴迷 |
| [03:12] | or my other good friend Matt Damon | 或找我另一个好友 马特·达蒙 |
| [03:13] | and his crippling addiction to my friend Ben Affleck. | 帮他戒掉对本·阿弗莱克的疯狂痴迷 |
| [03:15] | It’s important that you make amends. | 你们俩和解 这点很重要 |
| [03:17] | Your competitive relationship with Kamilah | 你和卡米拉的竞争关系 |
| [03:19] | is largely the reason you didn’t get into the Good Place. | 是你无法进入”善地”的主要原因 |
| [03:22] | It stands to reason that the same would be true for her. | 对她来说也一样 |
| [03:24] | Fine. But the waiting is over. | 行吧 但我等不下去了 |
| [03:27] | Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. | 借过 借过 借过 |
| [03:31] | Tahani, were you waiting in line to see me? | 塔哈妮 你是排着队来见我吗 |
| [03:34] | That’s hilarious. | 太可笑了 |
| [03:36] | As a frog stares up in awe at the tree top, | 青蛙敬畏地凝视着树梢之时 |
| [03:38] | so, too, does humanity gawk at the purity of a blinding truth. | 亦是人性凝望纯粹耀眼的真相之刻 |
| [03:42] | Napkins and forks are in the back. | 纸巾和叉子在后面 |
| [03:44] | So making omelets is art now, is it? | 现在做煎蛋卷也是艺术了啊 |
| [03:47] | Not that I’d expect you to understand, | 你这种层次 肯定理解不了 |
| [03:49] | but it’s a commentary on the world’s fascination | 但这是对恭顺 消耗 死亡和教育等 |
| [03:51] | with subservience, consumption, death, and pedagogy. | 众多世间魅力的理解与表达 |
| [03:55] | Cheddar or Swiss? | 切达干酪还是瑞士奶酪 |
| [03:56] | No, I don’t want an omelet. | 我不要煎蛋卷 |
| [03:57] | I just came for a quick sisterly chat. | 我只是来姐妹小聚一下 |
| [04:00] | My sister, Tahani, refuses to order an omelet. | 我妹妹塔哈妮拒绝点煎蛋卷 |
| [04:04] | As a result, the exhibit is now over | 因此 此次展览现在结束 |
| [04:06] | and will never be shown again. | 永不再启 |
| [04:07] | There will be no refunds. | 不受理退款申请 |
| [04:20] | Hey, now. I just checked my Apple Watch, | 我刚看了一眼我的苹果手表 |
| [04:22] | and it’s marg-o-clock. | 现在该喝玛格丽特了 |
| [04:26] | So, Michael, what do you do? | 迈克尔 你是做什么的 |
| [04:28] | Well, I’m an architect. | 我是个建筑师 |
| [04:30] | Get out of here. Me too. | 不会吧 我也是 |
| [04:32] | Dave’s real good. | 戴夫超级出色 |
| [04:33] | You should see the new Hooters on I-15. | 你们真该去看看I15高速上的猫头鹰餐厅 |
| [04:36] | It looks classy, like a bank. | 非常经典 看起来像银行 |
| [04:39] | So how did you two love-rats meet? | 你们俩是怎么认识的 |
| [04:41] | It’s a fun story. | 说来有趣 |
| [04:42] | I was working on this project tearing down a condemned bar | 当时我负责拆除一栋危楼 |
| [04:45] | called the Desert Rash. | 叫做”沙漠皮疹”的酒吧 |
| [04:47] | I went in to meet with the contractors, | 我去现场见承包商 |
| [04:48] | and Diana is sitting at the bar drinking a 7 and 7 and 7. | 而戴安娜就坐在酒吧里喝着七七七 |
| [04:52] | 7 shots of Seagram’s 7 in 7 minutes. | 七分钟喝下七杯施格兰七号金酒 |
| [04:54] | It’s Diana’s morning drink. | 这是戴安娜的晨间饮料 |
| [04:56] | That’s right, it was very early in the morning. | 没错 那会确实还很早 |
| [04:59] | Well, this little spitfire finds out it’s me who’s closing down the bar. | 这个小火箭筒发现我要关了酒吧 |
| [05:02] | Next thing I know, she’s got a knife to my face. | 立马拿刀架住了我的脖子 |
| [05:06] | I would have been scared if she hadn’t been | 如果不是我这辈子没见过 |
| [05:07] | the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen in my life. | 她这么美丽的尤物 我肯定会吓着 |
| [05:10] | One thing leads to another, and all of a sudden, | 一来二去 电光火石之间 |
| [05:12] | we’re playing tonsil tennis on a broken toilet in the alley out back. | 我俩就进了后巷的厕所里干柴烈火 |
| [05:16] | Cute. | 真浪漫 |
| [05:17] | So how did you and Eleanor become friends? | 你和埃莉诺怎么成为朋友的 |
| [05:19] | Let’s just say that we “Lived” | 就当是我们曾”住在” |
| [05:22] | in the same “Neighborhood.” | 同一片”街区”吧 |
| [05:25] | What a fun way to say a normal thing, right? | 真是把一件寻常事说出花来了 |
| [05:28] | Well, I’ve got to go get ready. | 我得去准备一下 |
| [05:29] | Today is PTA elections, and I’m running for secretary. | 今天是家庭教师协会选举 我要竞选秘书 |
| [05:33] | And she’s a shoo-in, too. | 她可是种子选手呢 |
| [05:34] | Hey, Patty, we got to get ready, okay? | 小帕 我们得准备准备了 |
| [05:37] | I know we came here to set your mom on a better path, | 我知道我们是来让你妈妈走上正路 |
| [05:40] | but I think she’s doing pretty great. | 但我觉得她现在过得挺好 |
| [05:42] | Please. She’s completely full of it. | 别逗了 她就是能装 |
| [05:45] | I am gonna find out what kind of scam Donna Shellstrop is running, | 我要查清唐娜·谢尔斯卓普的骗局 |
| [05:48] | and I am gonna take her down… | 我要一举揭穿她 |
| [05:51] | right after I finish this awesome drink. | 不过得先把这美味的饮料喝完 |
| [05:54] | Man, Dave’s margaritas are amazing. | 老天 戴夫调的玛格丽特太好喝了 |
| [05:56] | – Right? – Yeah. | -对吧 -是呢 |
| [05:57] | And I’m not even a tequila guy. | 我之前都不爱喝龙舌兰 |
| [06:01] | So this is what a museum looks like. | 原来博物馆是这样的 |
| [06:04] | If you look at this painting closely, | 如果你近距离鉴赏这幅画 |
| [06:06] | you can really notice the interpretation. | 就能理解画的内涵 |
| [06:10] | I know you’re just being silly | 我知道你只是在犯傻 |
| [06:11] | and effortlessly charming, | 尽心做好颜值担当 |
| [06:13] | but you actually just picked the most valuable painting in the entire museum. | 但你恰好挑了整间博物馆最昂贵的一幅画 |
| [06:17] | As of last year, that work was valued at $39.2 million. | 截止去年这幅画价值为三千九百二十万美金 |
| [06:21] | Snap, I forgot you know everything. | 糟糕 我忘了你是百事通 |
| [06:24] | How much is that one worth? | 这副值多少钱 |
| [06:25] | That one is worth $13.7 million. | 一千三百七十万 |
| [06:29] | That one’s got a bunch of colors. | 那副有这么多颜色 |
| [06:30] | That’s got to add some value. | 肯定更值钱吧 |
| [06:32] | Can we do this for all the paintings? | 你能告诉我所有画的价格吗 |
| [06:34] | Look, I’ve had a sort of revelation about the world, | 听着 我对这个世界有了全新的认识 |
| [06:39] | and I’d like to take responsibility for my part in our fraught history. | 我们过去关系不和 我有一部分责任 |
| [06:44] | For whatever hurt I’ve caused you… | 无论我给你造成了什么伤害 |
| [06:47] | I sincerely apologize. | 我都真诚地向你道歉 |
| [06:51] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [06:52] | I do not accept your apology. | 我不接受你的道歉 |
| [06:54] | Is that all, then? | 你说完了吧 |
| [06:58] | Well… | 既然这样 |
| [07:14] | Check out what Dave gave me– | 看看戴夫给了我什么 |
| [07:16] | plans for a Subaru dealership/burlesque club | 他设计要建在里诺的斯巴鲁经销商 |
| [07:16] | 美国有名的”离婚城市” 位于内华达州西部 凡欲离婚者只须在该市住满三个月即可离婚 | |
| [07:18] | he’s designing in Reno. | 滑稽俱乐部的图纸 |
| [07:22] | Man, Nevada’s a mess. | 老天 内华达真是太没下限了 |
| [07:24] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [07:25] | Searching for the tell-tale sign of a Donna Shellstrop scam– | 寻找唐娜·谢尔斯卓普骗局的蛛丝马迹 |
| [07:29] | a pile of cash hidden somewhere | 藏在某处的现金 |
| [07:30] | so she can grab it and head out on the run. | 好让她随时跑路 |
| [07:33] | When the time comes, | 等到时机成熟 |
| [07:33] | she will rip this guy off and disappear like Keyser Soze, | 她会狠狠敲这男人一笔 然后像凯撒·索泽一样 |
| [07:38] | right after he admitted to groping all those people. | 就在他承认对人咸猪手后消失 |
| [07:40] | Why are you in my room? | 你在我房间里干什么 |
| [07:41] | Hey, girl. What’s up? | 小姑娘 你还好吗 |
| [07:43] | How old are you–three? | 你多大了 三岁吗 |
| [07:45] | – I’m nine. – Cool. | -我九岁了 -好 |
| [07:46] | I don’t know anything about kids. | 我一点都不了解孩子 |
| [07:48] | Hey, has Diana ever made you hide, like, a special treasure in any of your toys? | 戴安娜有没有让你把珍宝藏在玩具里过 |
| [07:53] | No, Diana’s very nice to me. | 没有 戴安娜对我很好 |
| [07:55] | She bought me most of these stuffed animals. | 大部分这些玩偶都是她买的 |
| [07:58] | Neat. | 不错 |
| [07:59] | Mind if I give them just a little surgery just to check? | 介意我给它们做个小手术检查一下吗 |
| [08:02] | Okay, okay, okay, all right, Doc McStuffins, | 好了好了 小医师 |
| [08:05] | let’s get you some fresh air. | 我们出去醒醒脑 |
| [08:07] | So sorry. | 非常抱歉 |
| [08:08] | She’s a kid. You can’t disembowel her toys. | 她还是个孩子 你不能肢解她的玩具 |
| [08:11] | Fine. New plan. | 行 新计划 |
| [08:12] | You casually mention that you’re rich and seduce Donna. | 你不经意地提到你很富有 引诱唐娜 |
| [08:16] | When she goes for you, | 等她上钩后 |
| [08:17] | it will prove that this whole thing is a sham. | 我们就能证明这一切都是骗局 |
| [08:19] | First things first, do you have a penis? | 首先我得问清楚 你有老二吗 |
| [08:22] | I will not seduce Donna. | 我不会去引诱唐娜 |
| [08:24] | For one thing, I could never do that to my pal, Dave. | 一方面 我不能这样对待我的同行戴夫 |
| [08:27] | It goes against the architect’s code. | 违反了建筑师法则 |
| [08:29] | Also, your mother seems happy here. | 而且你母亲看起来很幸福 |
| [08:31] | The Donna I know | 我认识的唐娜 |
| [08:32] | wouldn’t be caught dead in this suburban boredom factory. | 会在这郊外富人区无聊到死 |
| [08:36] | She’s scamming them. | 她在骗他们 |
| [08:37] | Look, believe me, don’t believe me– | 听着 随你信不信我 |
| [08:38] | I don’t care. I’m gonna prove it. | 我不在乎 但我会证明我是对的 |
| [08:40] | Young lady, you will stop this nonsense. | 年轻人 别再胡闹了 |
| [08:44] | Go to the PTA meeting and support your mother. | 去家庭教师协会选举会议并支持你母亲 |
| [08:47] | I won’t hear another word about it. | 别再废话了 |
| [08:51] | What the hell was that? | 这是演哪一出 |
| [08:52] | Well, I was going for the “Stern but, you know, caring dad” vibe. | 我想试试”严厉却慈爱的父亲”的套路 |
| [08:55] | No? Didn’t work? | 像吗 没效果吗 |
| [08:57] | No, not even close-like, not in the ballpark. | 没有 一点都不像 |
| [08:59] | I was trying something, Eleanor. | 我只想尝试些新东西 埃莉诺 |
| [09:00] | Give me a break. | 放我一马吧 |
| [09:03] | Until Kamilah accepts my apology | 除非卡米拉接受我的道歉 |
| [09:04] | this open wound will hinder any progress she might make | 否则无论她怎么努力 我们之间的隔阂 |
| [09:07] | toward getting into the Good Place. | 都会阻碍她进入”善地” |
| [09:08] | Also, I’m going to strangle her, | 另外我打算掐死她 |
| [09:11] | which will hinder any air from getting into her lungs. | 这会阻碍空气进入她的肺 |
| [09:15] | Can I talk to her? | 我能和她谈谈吗 |
| [09:16] | Maybe we should try a little third-party mediation. | 也许可以试试第三方协调 |
| [09:23] | I’m Tahani’s friend, Chidi. | 我是塔哈妮的朋友 奇迪 |
| [09:26] | Chidi is an Igbo word that means “God exists.” | 奇迪在伊博语里代表”神存在” |
| [09:29] | That’s right. | 没错 |
| [09:30] | Sorry, I don’t know the etymology of your name, but– | 抱歉 我不知道你名字的来源 但是 |
| [09:35] | All of your fears are now mine. | 汝之恐惧尽都归吾 |
| [09:41] | – What did she say? – What? | -她说了什么 -什么 |
| [09:43] | I don’t know. Sorry. | 我不知道 抱歉 |
| [09:45] | I got distracted. She’s amazing. | 我分神了 她简直太棒了 |
| [09:47] | All of my fears are hers now. | 我所有恐惧现在都归她了 |
| [09:50] | Of course they are. | 当然 |
| [09:55] | I sincerely apologize to you | 我真心实意地向你道了歉 |
| [09:58] | because I have matured into a fully formed adult | 因为我是个成熟有同情心 |
| [10:00] | with empathy and self-awareness. | 以及自知之明的成年人 |
| [10:02] | But if you don’t accept my apology, | 但如果你不接受我的道歉 |
| [10:04] | I will smash your stupid art exhibit into bits. | 我就把你这破艺展砸个稀烂 |
| [10:08] | More Tahani theatrics with zero follow-through? | 只会空口威胁的塔哈妮又戏精上身 |
| [10:12] | You don’t have it in you to do anything that bold, | 你可没种做这种事 |
| [10:14] | because I’m the one who got the boldness gene | 因为我继承了父母的大胆 |
| [10:16] | and the good-eyebrow gene. | 和好看的眉毛 |
| [10:22] | No. All my fears are mine again. | 不 我的恐惧又回来了 |
| [10:25] | Davey, can you believe the design of this room? | 戴夫 这间屋子的设计太没水准了 |
| [10:28] | Auditorium? More like Audi-bore-me-um. | 就是 还礼堂呢 更像是”无趣堂” |
| [10:33] | Savage. | 神吐槽 |
| [10:34] | Hello, I’m Diana Tremaine. | 大家好 我是戴安娜·特里梅因 |
| [10:36] | I never thought I’d run for PTA board. | 我从没想过我会来竞选家庭教师协会主席 |
| [10:39] | For most of my life, I preferred to crawl… | 我这人通常都游手好闲 |
| [10:43] | pub crawl. | 流连酒吧 |
| [10:45] | But now I want to make sure kids in this | 但现在 我希望孩子们都能在这个 |
| [10:47] | decommissioned-militarybombing-test-site-turned-suburban-township | 由废弃军事轰炸基地改建的郊区小镇学校 |
| [10:51] | get the best education Nevada has to offer. | 受到内华达州最好的教育 |
| [10:55] | What’s that-always double down on 11? | 她经常出入这里的赌场 好吗 |
| [10:57] | Also, there is a pretty great kid who goes to this school, | 而且 一个优秀的小孩在这里上学 |
| [11:01] | and I want to make this place great for her. | 我希望她能在这里受益 |
| [11:04] | Stand up, sweetheart. | 站起来吧 亲爱的 |
| [11:11] | Well, it was the first Hooters ever made out of brick, | 第一家猫头鹰餐厅就是用砖块建的 |
| [11:14] | sort of inspired by Monticello. | 算是借鉴了蒙蒂塞洛庄园 |
| [11:15] | – Mark. – No, it’s Dave. | -“马克”[猎物] -不 我叫戴夫 |
| [11:17] | I know your name. I’m calling you a mark. | 我知道你叫啥 你在我眼里是猎物 |
| [11:20] | Easy. | 冷静点 |
| [11:21] | I got news for you, dad-bod. | 我有事跟你说 “爸爸肚” |
| [11:23] | The woman you know as Diana Tremaine is really Donna Shellstrop, | 那个叫戴安娜·特里梅因其实是唐娜·谢尔斯卓普 |
| [11:27] | my much older mother. | 是我妈 比我老很多 |
| [11:30] | She faked her death and changed her name. | 她伪造了死亡 更名换姓 |
| [11:32] | Sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s the deal. | 抱歉摇醒了你的梦 但事实如此 |
| [11:36] | I already knew all that, Eleanor. | 我已经知道了 埃莉诺 |
| [11:38] | Your mother told me everything the first night we met. | 我们第一晚见面时候、 她都告诉我了 |
| [11:41] | The first night? | 第一晚 |
| [11:42] | Well, no, not the first night, actually. | 不 也不算是第一晚 |
| [11:43] | That was mostly sex. | 第一晚基本都在做爱 |
| [11:45] | Your mother is a very confident and selfish lover. | 你妈床上傲人 索要无敌 |
| [11:49] | Yikes. | 真是苦了你 |
| [11:50] | No, no, no, it’s perfect for me ’cause I don’t know what I want. | 不不 这正合我意 因为我是”床上小白” |
| [11:52] | But anyway, the next morning she told me everything. | 总之 第二天早上 她就全都告诉我了 |
| [11:54] | And we’re gonna tell Patricia once she’s a little bit older. | 等帕特里夏再大一点 我们也会告诉她 |
| [11:56] | For now, everything is going great. | 目前来说 一切都棒极了 |
| [11:59] | No, dude, you don’t know my mom. | 不 老兄 你不了解我妈 |
| [12:01] | She used to put, like, 50 things in a shopping cart, | 她曾经拿了一大堆东西放在购物车里 |
| [12:03] | then go to the “12 items or less” aisle, | 然后去”少于12件商品”专用结账通道 |
| [12:05] | scream “Rat,” and run out the door without paying. | 大喊”有老鼠” 没付钱就跑了 |
| [12:08] | She is a liar. | 她就是个骗子 |
| [12:09] | Well, listen, she has been nothing but honest with me. | 她对我非常坦诚 |
| [12:12] | And I like that she’s got a wild streak. | 而且我喜欢她的放荡不羁 |
| [12:14] | It kind of gets my motor running. | 让我有点”性”奋 |
| [12:16] | Tell you the truth– | 老实说 |
| [12:17] | she’s turning me into a bit of a bad boy. | 受她影响 我都调皮起来了呢 |
| [12:20] | I mean, who am I, Avril Lavigne? | 你当我是艾薇儿·拉维妮吗 |
| [12:29] | I get it. | 我懂了 |
| [12:30] | Coming clean was all part of the scam. | 坦白也是骗局的一部分 |
| [12:32] | It’s brilliant because he thinks she’s honest. | 太聪明了 他认为她很诚实 |
| [12:35] | So, when she runs off with all his money, | 等她把他的钱都卷走时 |
| [12:36] | he’ll never see it coming. | 他完全措手不及 |
| [12:37] | Come on, Eleanor. | 拜托 埃莉诺 |
| [12:39] | I changed, you changed, maybe she changed, too. | 我变了 你变了 说不定她也变了 |
| [12:42] | No, no way. | 不可能 |
| [12:44] | Why can’t you accept that she might be living a good, honest life? | 你为什么不相信她如今诚实地乖乖做人 |
| [12:49] | That she’s an attentive partner and a good mom? | 还是个贴心的伴侣 是个好妈妈 |
| [12:52] | Because I wanted that mom. | 因为我想要那样的妈妈 |
| [12:55] | I wanted the mom who made me afternoon snacks | 我想要能为我做午后甜点的妈妈 |
| [12:58] | instead of just telling me to look for loose fries | 而不是叫我去麦当劳游乐球池里 |
| [13:00] | in the McDonald’s ball pit. | 找软掉的薯条 |
| [13:02] | Why does Patricia get that mom? | 凭什么帕特里夏能有这样的妈 |
| [13:04] | If Donna Shellstrop has truly changed, | 如果唐娜·谢尔斯卓普真的改变了 |
| [13:06] | then that means she was always capable of change, | 也就是说她是一直都能做出改变 |
| [13:09] | but I just wasn’t worth changing for. | 只是我不值得她做出牺牲 |
| [13:14] | I know as your self-appointed father figure, | 我虽然自诩为是你父亲般的人 |
| [13:18] | I’m supposed to say something comforting here, | 我应该说点什么安慰你 |
| [13:21] | but I’m–I’m kind of stumped. | 但我不知道说什么了 |
| [13:23] | Okay, final tally– | 好了 公布结果了 |
| [13:25] | 43 votes for Diana Tremaine, | 戴安娜·特里梅因43票 |
| [13:28] | 12 votes for Eileen Capshaw, | 艾琳·卡普肖12票 |
| [13:30] | and one vote for Bofa Deeznutz. | 博发·迪兹纳兹1票 |
| [13:35] | God, don’t look at me like that. | 别这样看我 |
| [13:36] | You’re not my real dad. | 你又不真是我爸 |
| [13:43] | Congratulations, Madam Secretary. | 恭喜了 主席女士 |
| [13:45] | It’s so crazy, right? | 简直太疯狂了 |
| [13:47] | I’m gonna need to get a calculator and maybe a globe. | 我得弄个计算器 或者地球仪 |
| [13:51] | I don’t really understand the job. | 我其实不太了解这工作 |
| [13:53] | Listen, I’m sorry | 听着 我很抱歉 |
| [13:56] | that I didn’t think this whole thing was real. | 我之前觉得你是在演戏 |
| [13:58] | I just never thought I’d see the day | 我没想过有一天 |
| [14:00] | when you made a commitment to… | 你也会做出承诺 |
| [14:03] | anything. | 任何承诺 |
| [14:04] | I was wrong. | 是我错了 |
| [14:05] | Thank you, baby. That means a lot. | 谢谢 宝贝 我很感动 |
| [14:10] | – Let me help you. – No, no, no, not that one! | -我来帮你 -不不不 不是那个 |
| [14:12] | Not that one! No, sorry, sorry. | 不是这个 抱歉 |
| [14:13] | This powder is only for my delicates. | 这是专门用来洗内衣裤的 |
| [14:16] | You don’t wash your bras. | 你从来不洗胸罩 |
| [14:17] | No. No. | 不 不 |
| [14:20] | I knew it. | 我就知道 |
| [14:22] | My mother is a con artist. | 我妈是个骗子 |
| [14:24] | Got ya. | 被我发现了吧 |
| [14:26] | So, before I’m tortured in the afterlife, | 我进入”死后世界”受折磨之前 |
| [14:28] | I get to spend the rest of this life | 我将因破坏艺术 |
| [14:30] | in a Hungarian prison for destruction of art. | 在匈牙利监狱度过我的余生 |
| [14:34] | That’s fun. | 真有意思 |
| [14:36] | Destruction of extremely derivative art. | 这种模仿货哪称得上是艺术 |
| [14:38] | Kamilah’s work has been mediocre for years. | 卡米拉的画 多年来都不过尔尔 |
| [14:41] | Mother and Father are probably rolling over | 要是父亲和母亲看到了 |
| [14:43] | in their cryogenic chambers. | 估计死人都能气活 |
| [14:45] | Really? You don’t think they would be proud of her | 是吗 你不觉得他们会感到骄傲吗 |
| [14:48] | for having a whole museum wing dedicated to her work? | 整个博物馆侧翼都在展出她的作品 |
| [14:52] | My parents’ standards were incredibly high, | 我父母的要求非常高 |
| [14:55] | and they were impossible to please. | 难以取悦 |
| [14:57] | Plus, they always pitted my sister and me against each other. | 而且他们经常让我们姐妹俩争宠 |
| [15:01] | The two of them were a unit, | 他们俩是一个鼻孔出气 |
| [15:03] | and Kamilah and I… | 而我和卡米拉… |
| [15:09] | Girls, we have a new challenge for you. | 姑娘们 你们有新挑战了 |
| [15:11] | Each of you has four hours to complete a rendering | 你们有四个小时 |
| [15:14] | of your favorite moment in French military history. | 画出法国军事历史上你最喜欢的时刻 |
| [15:18] | The winning painting shall be hung in our foyer | 赢者可以把画挂在大厅 |
| [15:21] | during our party honoring Francois Mitterrand. | 直到纪念弗朗索瓦·密特朗的派对结束 |
| [15:24] | The losing paining shall provide the kindling | 而输的人则需要提供派对时 |
| [15:26] | for the fire that rages in our hearth during that party. | 壁炉所需要的柴火 |
| [15:31] | Doesn’t that sound wonderful? | 是不是很棒啊 |
| [15:33] | Yes, Mother, it does. | 是的 母亲 |
| [15:34] | Thank you for this opportunity. | 谢谢你们给我们这次机会 |
| [15:36] | Who will be the winning artist, | 谁将成为胜出的画家 |
| [15:39] | and who will fail? | 谁又将落败 |
| [15:41] | Let’s find out. | 静待分晓 |
| [15:48] | These paintings… | 这些画 |
| [15:52] | They’re us. | 画的是我们 |
| [15:54] | You’re the boobs? | 你们是乳房 |
| [15:55] | Sorry. Once Jason said it, that’s all I can see. | 抱歉 杰森说过之后 我越看越像 |
| [16:02] | Here we go. | 又来了 |
| [16:04] | What? | 干嘛 |
| [16:06] | Tahani, what are you doing? Stop it. | 塔哈妮 你干嘛 别这样 |
| [16:09] | No. I’m going to hug you because I love you | 不 我要拥抱你 因为我爱你 |
| [16:12] | and because you feel just as alone as I do. | 因为你跟我一样孤独 |
| [16:15] | I’m sorry our parents were such wankers. | 很遗憾我们的父母这么差劲 |
| [16:19] | And I understand that you can’t accept my apology | 我明白你不会接受我的道歉 |
| [16:21] | because that would quench your creative thirst. | 这样会抹杀你的创造力 |
| [16:25] | They forced us to compete, | 他们强迫我们竞争 |
| [16:27] | and that competition has fueled your art for decades. | 这些竞争正是你几十年来创作的动力 |
| [16:31] | It’s so awful, and I’m so sorry. | 太糟糕了 我很抱歉 |
| [16:39] | They were wankers, weren’t they? | 他们很差劲 是吧 |
| [16:42] | The absolute biggest wankers on Earth. | 地球上最差劲的父母 |
| [16:50] | Let them go, please. | 放了他们吧 |
| [16:59] | Diana Tremaine, you little devil. | 戴安娜·特里梅因 你个小恶魔 |
| [17:01] | New name, same game. | 新名字 不变的套路 |
| [17:03] | Fine. Things have been going good with me and Dave, | 好吧 我跟戴夫一直很幸福 |
| [17:07] | but sometimes I sneak a little bit of cash out of his wallet, | 只是有时候 我会从他钱包里顺一点钱 |
| [17:10] | and I hide it away, just in case everything blows up | 藏起来 就怕万一有天东窗事发 |
| [17:13] | and I need to skip town. | 我得逃出去 |
| [17:14] | Are you happy? | 开心了吗 |
| [17:17] | Actually, no, I’m not happy, | 不 我不开心 |
| [17:20] | but I think you are. | 但我觉得你开心 |
| [17:21] | You’re holding on to this exit strategy, | 你一直给自己留着跑路的招数 |
| [17:23] | telling yourself that you can bail at any time, | 想着可以说走就走 |
| [17:25] | but the truth is… | 但事实上 |
| [17:28] | you love this suburban life. | 你喜欢这种安定的生活 |
| [17:30] | I don’t love it so much. | 没多喜欢 |
| [17:32] | I am not basic. Ya basic. | 我没这么低端 你才不上档次 |
| [17:35] | No, Mom. | 不 妈 |
| [17:37] | Ya basic. | 你不上档次 |
| [17:39] | And that’s okay. | 这没什么 |
| [17:40] | Let me ask you something. | 我问你 |
| [17:42] | Why are you wearing yoga pants? | 你为什么要穿瑜伽裤 |
| [17:44] | Well, on Tuesday nights, I do restorative yoga | 每周二晚上 我都会跟帕蒂同学的妈妈 |
| [17:46] | with a bunch of moms from Patty’s school. | 一起做健身瑜伽 |
| [17:48] | And what do you do after yoga? | 做完瑜伽之后呢 |
| [17:49] | We split avocado egg rolls at the Cheesecake Factory, | 在芝士工厂分牛油果蛋卷吃 |
| [17:52] | but we also drink. | 也会喝酒 |
| [17:53] | – What do you drink? – Chardonnay… | -你喝什么 -夏敦埃酒 |
| [17:56] | with ice cubes. | 加冰块 |
| [17:58] | And after one glass, I get sleepy, | 一杯之后 我就困了 |
| [18:01] | so I usually switch to water so I can drive home… | 通常我都会换成喝水 可以开车回家 |
| [18:04] | like a nerd! | 我都觉得自己没劲 |
| [18:09] | It’s okay. | 没关系啦 |
| [18:10] | It’s good. You’re happy here. | 这很好 你在这里很开心 |
| [18:12] | But you need to commit to this… | 但你得全身心投入 |
| [18:16] | which means getting rid of that stash of escape money. | 也就是说你得放弃跑路的钱 |
| [18:21] | And I think you know what you have to do with it. | 你应该知道要怎么做 |
| [18:24] | Send it to Gene Simmons? | 给基尼·西蒙斯吗 |
| [18:26] | What? No. | 什么 不是 |
| [18:28] | Spend it on Patricia. | 花在帕特里夏身上 |
| [18:31] | Set up a college fund, buy her a crib… | 建立个大学基金 买个儿童床 |
| [18:34] | or a car. | 或者买辆车 |
| [18:35] | I truly don’t know anything about kids, | 我真的不知道怎么照顾孩子 |
| [18:37] | but this is your chance to break the chain | 不过这是你改变谢尔斯卓普家 |
| [18:41] | of Shellstrop mother-daughter crappiness. | 母女糟糕相处方式的机会 |
| [18:44] | You have a do-over. | 你有重新来过的机会 |
| [18:46] | Use it. | 好好把握 |
| [18:48] | Baby. It seems like you’ve turned into a really good person, | 宝贝 看来你成长为一个好人了 |
| [18:52] | and you clearly didn’t get that from me, | 显然不是从我这里遗传的 |
| [18:54] | so props to whoever helped you. | 无论是谁帮你 都要好好谢谢他 |
| [18:59] | Is there more cash in your bra? | 你胸罩里是不是还藏了钱 |
| [19:01] | Always. It’s why I don’t wash them. | 一直如此 所以我从来不洗 |
| [19:05] | I still can’t believe that police officer pulled you over | 我还是没法相信 警察叫停你 |
| [19:07] | just to tell you that you were driving perfectly. | 就是为了跟你说 你开得很好 |
| [19:10] | Why not? I was. | 这有啥啊 我的确开得好啊 |
| [19:11] | There is an article in the paper | 报纸上有篇文章 |
| [19:13] | about Kamilah’s latest art installation. | 将卡米拉最新的艺术装饰 |
| [19:16] | And look… | 你看 |
| [19:17] | “A Fractured Inheritance” by Kamilah Al-Jamil and Tahani Al-Jamil. | 卡米拉·阿贾米尔和塔哈妮·阿贾米尔”残缺的遗产” |
| [19:22] | Gosh, that was very big of her… | 天啊 她真大度 |
| [19:25] | though she really should have named the piece “Buried Hatchet,” | 不过 她应该把画命名为”言归于好” |
| [19:29] | Don’t you think? | 你觉得呢 |
| [19:31] | Such a better title. | 这个名字好听多了 |
| [19:32] | I’m going to call her and rub it in. | 我要打给她 显摆一下 |
| [19:34] | Maybe don’t… for now. | 这时候还是别了吧 |
| [19:36] | Yes. Smart. | 也是 聪明 |
| [19:38] | Good luck, buddy. | 祝你好运 兄弟 |
| [19:40] | I almost forgot. | 差点忘了 |
| [19:41] | I sketched you up a little something– | 我给你画了点东西 |
| [19:42] | some ideas there for your project. | 给你的项目提点建议 |
| [19:47] | Well, this is more than a few ideas. | 这可不仅是一点建议啊 |
| [19:48] | You solved the whole thing-columns and porticos. | 所有的都解决了 支柱和门廊 |
| [19:53] | Looks like you forgot to include bathrooms. | 你好像忘了洗手间 |
| [19:57] | Just a little oversight. | 小疏忽 |
| [19:58] | I certainly use the bathroom like anybody else. | 我也用洗手间啦 跟其他人一样 |
| [20:01] | I love to sit on the–the thing | 我喜欢坐在… |
| [20:03] | and just, you know, shoot one out. | 就那什么 来一发 |
| [20:05] | Eleanor, I’ll be in the car. | 埃莉诺 我去车上等你 |
| [20:07] | It was really nice to meet you, Patricia. | 很高兴见到你 帕特里夏 |
| [20:08] | Got a lot of people who care about you here. | 很多人都关心你 |
| [20:11] | And good luck with the… SATs. | 高考好好考 |
| [20:15] | I’m nine. | 我才九岁 |
| [20:16] | Whatever, good luck in school. | 无所谓啦 学业加油 |
| [20:17] | You get it. | 你懂的 |
| [20:22] | The others are on their way back from Budapest. | 其他人已经从布达佩斯返程了 |
| [20:24] | We’ll be picking them up in a few hours. | 几个小时后 我们去接他们 |
| [20:27] | Be happy. | 开心点 |
| [20:29] | Your mom found a better path all on her own, | 你妈妈凭着自己的努力找了好归宿 |
| [20:32] | and you definitely helped Patricia. | 你也帮了帕特里夏 |
| [20:34] | Double happy ending. | 双重美满结局 |
| [20:35] | I know. I’m just–I’m a little sad. | 我知道 只是我有点难过 |
| [20:37] | I’m glad my mom has changed, | 我很高兴我妈妈改变了 |
| [20:39] | but that doesn’t fix all the damage she did to me. | 但这无法弥补她对我做过的一切 |
| [20:42] | Let’s face it– | 事实就是 |
| [20:43] | she’s the reason I could never get close to anyone. | 就是因为她 我才无法与其他人亲近 |
| [20:46] | I never even told a boyfriend I love him. | 我从没跟我男朋友说过我爱他 |
| [20:50] | Crap. | 坏了 |
| [20:54] | You remember how I told you that you knew everything important about your life? | 还记得我跟你说过 我告诉你一切了吗 |
| [20:59] | Well, I-I wasn’t thinking about your afterlife life. | 我不是说你”死后世界”的生活 |
| [21:02] | In one of the reboots, you and Chidi fell in love… deeply, | 有一次重启 你和奇迪陷入了爱河 |
| [21:07] | and you told him that you loved him, | 你告诉他 你爱他 |
| [21:10] | and he told you that he loved you back. | 他说 他也爱你 |
| [21:15] | We did what, now? | 我们互相说啥了 |
| [21:16] | You want to listen to a podcast maybe? | 要不要听广播呀 |