| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | This library’s depressing. | 这图书馆太闷了 |
| [00:06] | All they have in the Poetry section is Jeff Foxworthy books. | 他们在诗歌区只有杰夫·福克斯沃西的书 |
| [00:10] | Well, we needed someplace deserted, | 我们要找一个鸟不拉屎的地方 |
| [00:12] | and there’s no place more deserted than | 没有比亚利桑那的公共图书馆 |
| [00:13] | a public library in Arizona. | 更荒凉的地方了 |
| [00:15] | Now let’s go, man. | 现在快走吧 |
| [00:17] | We only have a few hours | 我们只剩几个小时的时间 |
| [00:18] | before we have to pick the gang up from the airport. | 就得去机场接那帮人了 |
| [00:20] | Fire up Janet’s memory gizmo. | 启动珍妮特的记忆装置 |
| [00:22] | Flooding your brain with memories from the afterlife is dangerous. | 让你的大脑充满”死后世界”的记忆很危险 |
| [00:25] | In one of the reboots, you and Chidi were in love. | 有一次重启 你和奇迪陷入了爱河 |
| [00:28] | Can’t you just take my word for that? | 你就不能相信我的话吗 |
| [00:30] | No, dude, I can’t. | 不 我做不到 |
| [00:31] | My screwed-up relationship with my parents | 我和父母的关系一团糟 |
| [00:33] | made me believe I could never really love anyone. | 我觉得自己不会爱上任何人 |
| [00:35] | I need to see it for myself. | 我要亲眼看看 |
| [00:37] | Those are my memories. I want them back. | 那是我的记忆 我要找回来 |
| [00:40] | Okay, fine. Have a seat. | 好吧 坐下 |
| [00:43] | Luckily, before we shut the neighborhood down, | 好在我们把拆掉”街区”之前 |
| [00:45] | Janet saved a complete record of all the reboots. | 珍妮特保存了所有重启版本 |
| [00:49] | Put those in your ears. | 戴上 |
| [00:55] | – What’s all that for? – You’ll see. | -干什么用的啊 -到时就知道了 |
| [00:56] | We’re gonna start with a simple, three-second memory. | 我们先从简单的三秒记忆开始 |
| [00:59] | Why only three second– | 为什么只有三秒 |
| [01:02] | Hi, Eleanor. | 埃莉诺 |
| [01:03] | Buongiorno, Eleanor. | 早上好 埃莉诺 |
| [01:04] | Morning, Bambadjan. Morning, Vicky. | 早上好 巴姆酱和薇琪 |
| [01:07] | Those two are such forking dweebs. | 那俩人真他喵是个傻叉 |
| [01:10] | As I told you, recalling afterlife memories here on Earth | 我说过 于人间回忆”死后世界” |
| [01:14] | has some significant side effects. | 会有明显副作用 |
| [01:17] | You should be back to normal in about 20 minutes. | 大概二十分钟后 你会恢复正常 |
| [01:32] | Ah, looking a little better. | 看着好点了 |
| [01:33] | The banana must have helped. | 还是香蕉管用 |
| [01:34] | Before we go any further, I have one very important question. | 在我们继续之前 我有个很重要的问题 |
| [01:37] | Did I look hot bald? | 我秃头时 性感吗 |
| [01:39] | ‘Cause I always kind of felt like I could pull it off. | 因为我感觉姐就算秃头 颜值也能抗住 |
| [01:41] | I have no real ability to gauge physical attractiveness in humans. | 我对人类外表的吸引力无法做出评判 |
| [01:46] | But no, you did not pull it off. | 但是你秃头时 颜值跳水了 |
| [01:48] | Okay, that short clip should have rewired your brain, | 好了 那个小片段会重塑大脑回路 |
| [01:51] | like an inoculation. | 就像接种一样 |
| [01:53] | So now I can show you the highlights of reboot 119. | 现在可以给你看第119次剧本中精彩部分了 |
| [01:57] | I’m skipping all of the sleeping and chewing. | 我会跳过所有吃饭睡觉的场景 |
| [01:59] | You guys are always either sleeping or chewing something. | 你们总是要么睡觉 要么吃东西 |
| [02:05] | So, we are moving onto the subject of free will versus determinism. | 我们来讨论自由意志与决定论 |
| [02:10] | We are officially done with Nietzsche. | 终于学完了尼采 |
| [02:13] | I’m gonna miss Nietzsche. | 我会想尼采啦 |
| [02:14] | I spent a lot of my life thinking I was better than everyone else, | 我这一生都觉得自己比别人好 |
| [02:17] | and he showed me why I was right. | 尼采证明了我是对的 |
| [02:20] | Give me that reading list. What do we got? | 阅读清单给我 都有什么呢 |
| [02:22] | A little Aristotle, little Descartes, | 亚里士多德 笛卡尔 |
| [02:25] | little Tommy Quine-Quine. | 还有托米·小奎奎 |
| [02:27] | That’s what I call Saint Thomas Aquinas. | 这是我给圣托马斯· 阿奎那的爱称 |
| [02:28] | Three months of philosophy class, and you’re already– | 上了三个月的哲学课 你已经… |
| [02:41] | What are you grinning at, weirdo? | 你冲我笑啥 傻小子 |
| [02:45] | Come on, we’re gonna be late for the neighborhood meeting. | 走吧 居民会议要迟到了 |
| [02:47] | I gotta say, | 我得说 |
| [02:48] | it seems like I was really nailing that philosophy class. | 看来我的哲学课上得不错 |
| [02:51] | Can you believe my high school voted me | 你敢相信我在高中被选为 |
| [02:53] | “Most Likely to Die Young and Unaccomplished?” | “最可能英年早逝且一事无成的人”吗 |
| [02:55] | You did die young and unaccomplished. | 你确实英年早逝且一事无成 |
| [02:58] | Fair enough. | 说得对 |
| [02:59] | Put those back in. | 接着戴上 |
| [03:01] | My favorite four residents. | 我最爱的四位居民 |
| [03:04] | Don’t tell the others. | 别告诉别人 |
| [03:06] | Welcome to “Pick a Pet Day.” | 欢迎来到”宠物挑选日” |
| [03:08] | We have hundreds of beautiful animals for you to choose from. | 我们有上百位美丽的动物 任君挑选 |
| [03:12] | And when you do make your choice, | 当你做出最终选择时 |
| [03:14] | your pet will bond to your soul forever. | 你的宠物将会永远与你的灵魂紧紧相连 |
| [03:18] | Fabulous. I haven’t had a pet | 太棒了 |
| [03:19] | since Barbra Streisand gave me one of her cloned Siamese cats, | 在芭芭拉·史翠珊给我的克隆暹罗猫自杀之后 |
| [03:23] | and it killed itself. | 我都没有养过宠物 |
| [03:24] | I’m going to look at the mythical pets, darling. | 我要去看看我神话中的宠物 亲爱的 |
| [03:26] | Catch up when you’re ready. | 你选好了 来找我 |
| [03:27] | – May I? Yeah? – Yes. | -能否赏光 -当然 |
| [03:30] | Dude, we can get mythical animals? | 可以领神话中虚幻的宠物吗 |
| [03:32] | Maybe I’ll get a penguin. | 那我能养只企鹅啊 |
| [03:33] | Penguins are real. | 企鹅是真的 |
| [03:35] | That’s the spirit, Eleanor. | 要的就是这种精神 埃莉诺 |
| [03:37] | They’re real to me too. | 它们对我来说也是真的 |
| [03:44] | This one looks just like the one I had when I was a little kid. | 这只狗狗好像我小时候养的那只 |
| [03:47] | He’s so cute! | 太可爱了 |
| [03:50] | But is–is this one a little– a little cuter? | 但这只是不是更可爱点 |
| [03:54] | I mean, this pup looks friskier. | 这只看着比较活泼 |
| [03:56] | But this one looks a little–a little sweeter. | 但这只更萌一点 |
| [03:59] | Maybe… | 也许吧 |
| [04:00] | It’s Chidi kryptonite, a choice between any two things. | 这是奇迪的克星 选择恐惧症啊 |
| [04:03] | Settle in, lizard. This is gonna be a while. | 乖乖 蜥蜴 他有得纠结了 |
| [04:07] | Michael, what’s a “Mirror Centaur?” | 迈克尔 什么是”镜像半人马” |
| [04:10] | A stunning creature, | 一种惊奇生物 |
| [04:12] | whose human half takes on the image of its companion. | 它半人的部分是自己伴侣的模样 |
| [04:17] | Greetings. | 你们好 |
| [04:18] | I am T’Hania, | 我是踏哈妮 |
| [04:20] | Goddess of Beauty. | 美貌女神 |
| [04:23] | Oh my. | 我的老天爷 |
| [04:25] | I mean, should I take the cutest puppy, or is that shallow? | 我要选最可爱的那只吗 会不会太肤浅 |
| [04:28] | And is it even okay to separate them? | 可以让它们分开吗 |
| [04:31] | Are they brother and sister? | 它们会不会是兄妹 |
| [04:32] | Or–or perhaps, married? | 又或者 是一对 |
| [04:34] | Dude, they’re heaven puppies. | 兄弟 它们是天堂上的狗狗 |
| [04:35] | I’m sure they’re both incredible. | 我肯定两只都很棒 |
| [04:37] | Just choose one. | 你就选一个吧 |
| [04:39] | You’re right. The black one. | 你说得对 我选黑色那只 |
| [04:40] | That was my first impulse, and that is the one I’ll take. | 它是我的第一感觉 我就要它了 |
| [04:43] | I’m so sorry, Chidi. Both puppies have been taken. | 很抱歉 奇迪 两只狗狗都被选走了 |
| [04:46] | Yeah, I should have seen that coming. | 想到有这种结果了 |
| [04:48] | My indecision has once again cost me happiness, | 我的犹豫不决再次夺走了我的幸福 |
| [04:51] | and I will now suffer the consequences. | 现在我要承担这苦果 |
| [04:54] | How many pets have gone unclaimed? | 还有多少宠物没被选走 |
| [04:55] | Three. | 三个 |
| [04:56] | A 16-foot albino python… | 一条近5米长的白化巨蟒 |
| [04:59] | Something called a “Tarantula-squid,” | 还有个叫”狼蛛乌贼”的生物 |
| [05:01] | and this owl. | 以及这只猫头鹰 |
| [05:03] | The Tarantula-squid. Tarantula-squid. | 狼蛛乌贼 狼蛛乌贼 |
| [05:05] | Tarantula-squid. Tarantula-squid. | 狼蛛乌贼 狼蛛乌贼 |
| [05:07] | I’ll take the owl. | 我选猫头鹰 |
| [05:09] | Check it out. | 瞧瞧 |
| [05:10] | Janet made him a little cowboy hat. | 珍妮特给它做了顶牛仔帽 |
| [05:12] | Isn’t that stupid? | 好傻啊 |
| [05:14] | Chidi? Hello? | 奇迪 在吗 |
| [05:17] | Spencer doesn’t like loud voices. | 斯宾塞喜欢安静的环境 |
| [05:19] | Yeesh. What happened, man? | 发生什么了 |
| [05:21] | Well, I was trying to teach him to play fetch, | 我想训练它玩接球游戏 |
| [05:24] | like I did with my puppy as a kid, | 就像我小时候训练狗狗那样 |
| [05:26] | but instead of retrieving the stick, | 但它没有把棍子接回来 |
| [05:27] | he attacked my face with his razor-sharp talons. | 还用它锋利的爪子袭击了我的脸 |
| [05:31] | Why don’t you just ask Michael for a dog? | 你为什么不直接找迈克尔要只狗 |
| [05:34] | Because it was my mistake to not pick a puppy fast enough. | 因为是我自己没有及时选出一只狗 |
| [05:37] | I made my bed, and now I’ll bleed in it. | 我自作孽不可活 现在要血偿 |
| [05:40] | Let me do that, dummy. Come here. | 我来吧 傻子 过来 |
| [05:43] | What if I talk to Michael for you? | 如果我去找迈克尔呢 |
| [05:46] | That way you don’t have to worry about feeling ungrateful, | 那样你就不用担心自己是白眼狼什么了 |
| [05:49] | or whatever, and maybe you’ll still get a puppy. | 也许还能得到一只狗狗 |
| [05:52] | Instead of– | 而不是 |
| [05:53] | Deep wounds. | 很深的伤口 |
| [05:55] | – You’d do that? – Of course. | -你愿意这么做 -当然 |
| [05:56] | It’s the least I can do, | 这是我最起码能做的 |
| [05:57] | considering everything you’ve done for me. | 你都为我做了那么多 |
| [06:03] | So you get it, right? | 看够了吧 |
| [06:05] | What? | 怎么 |
| [06:05] | You liked him, he liked you. | 你喜欢他 他喜欢你 |
| [06:07] | You did nice things for each other. | 你们为彼此付出 |
| [06:09] | Your lack of parental affection did not make you numb to love, | 缺乏父母之爱并没有让你对爱麻木 |
| [06:12] | blah blah blah. | 自己脑补 |
| [06:13] | “Blah blah blah”? | “自己脑补” |
| [06:14] | Why don’t you want me to see this? | 你为什么不想让我看 |
| [06:16] | – What are you hiding? – Nothing. | -你在隐藏什么 -没有 |
| [06:18] | It’s just, the rest is not interesting. | 只是接下来的部分没什么意思 |
| [06:21] | Yeah, no, you’re right. “Not that interesting.” | 你说得对 “没什么意思” |
| [06:23] | Just watching myself fall in love | 看着自己在假天堂 |
| [06:24] | for the first time in fake heaven. | 第一次陷入爱河 |
| [06:26] | What else is on? | 还有啥更有意思啊 |
| [06:28] | I am going to put this back in my ear, | 我要把这玩意儿接着戴上 |
| [06:30] | and you are going to show me how thoughtful and caring I am, | 你要让我看我有多么的关心体贴 |
| [06:33] | or I’m gonna rip off your demon head | 不然我就把你的恶魔脑袋扯下来 |
| [06:35] | and shove it up whatever’s where your butt should be. | 塞你屁眼里 |
| [06:38] | Roll it. | 给我放 |
| [06:42] | A lizard was a perfect choice, Eleanor. | 蜥蜴选得很不错啊 埃莉诺 |
| [06:44] | – You both have combination skin. – Thanks. | -你们都是混合性皮肤 -谢谢 |
| [06:47] | Hey, this is a weird question to ask. | 这个请求有点奇怪 |
| [06:50] | I’ll just throw it out there. Can I ride your centaur? | 我直接说了吧 我能骑你的半人马吗 |
| [06:52] | I’m afraid T’Hania’s quite particular | 踏哈妮对骑它的人极其挑剔 |
| [06:54] | about whom she allows to ride her. | 一般人都不允许 |
| [06:56] | I tried, and she gave me a withering stare. | 我试过 然后它狠狠瞪了我一眼 |
| [07:00] | Turns out centaurs are a bit tricky. | 半人马不好应付啊 |
| [07:02] | You didn’t have like a stable full of horses growing up? | 你们家不是富到马儿任君挑选吗 |
| [07:05] | Of course, but they just pulled our carriages, | 是啊 但它们只拉马车 |
| [07:07] | or performed in our horse ballets. | 或者在骏马芭蕾上表演 |
| [07:09] | They weren’t so– what’s the word? | 它们不会 怎么说 |
| [07:12] | Judgmental. | 评头论足 |
| [07:13] | With whom can I speak about acquiring new shoes? | 我该找谁谈新鞋的事 |
| [07:15] | You can’t expect me to walk around in these flats all day, | 我总不能天天穿平底鞋 |
| [07:17] | like some common glue factory, hobo horse. | 像那些无业游马一样穿普通胶厂出来的货吧 |
| [07:20] | Eleanor, you were looking for me? | 埃莉诺 你找我吗 |
| [07:21] | Yeah, so, Chidi chose an owl, | 是的 奇迪选了只猫头鹰 |
| [07:24] | because he froze up trying to decide between two puppies. | 因为他在两只狗狗之间犹豫不决 |
| [07:26] | Is it possible for him to swap? | 能不能让他换一下呢 |
| [07:28] | Of course. This is the Good Place. | 当然可以 这里是善地 |
| [07:31] | But he might want to hold off. | 但是晚点再换吧 |
| [07:34] | Tonight we’re having a party where everyone gets to | 今晚我有赏 将举办一个晚会 |
| [07:36] | transform into their pets for a few minutes, as a treat. | 每个人都能变成自己的宠物几分钟 |
| [07:39] | Chidi can fly like an owl, | 奇迪可以像猫头鹰一样飞 |
| [07:41] | and you can do whatever lizards do. | 你也可以做蜥蜴能做的任何事 |
| [07:44] | Tahani, would you host the party at your mansion? | 塔哈妮 可以在你的豪宅举办晚会吗 |
| [07:47] | Of course. I’d love to. | 当然啦 乐意至极 |
| [07:51] | Is that what you’re going to wear? | 你就穿这个吗 |
| [07:53] | What? N–no. No. | 什么 不 不是 |
| [07:54] | Of course not. | 怎么会呢 |
| [07:56] | Why? Is it unflattering? | 怎么了 这身不好看吗 |
| [07:59] | I–I can change. | 我可以换 |
| [08:02] | Guys? I can’t find my lizard. | 朋友们 我找不到我的蜥蜴了 |
| [08:04] | He was just out there, like one second ago. | 它一秒前还在这里 |
| [08:06] | No big deal. Janet can find it. | 没关系 珍妮特可以找到 |
| [08:08] | No, I can’t risk it. | 不 我不能冒险 |
| [08:09] | These pets are supposed to, like, bond to our souls forever. | 这些宠物会跟我们的灵魂永远相连 |
| [08:12] | If Michael finds out mine ran away, | 如果迈克尔发现我的跑了 |
| [08:14] | he could figure out I’m not the real Eleanor. | 他就会知道我不是真的埃莉诺 |
| [08:16] | Just, go without me, | 你们先走吧 |
| [08:19] | and tell people that I’m hanging out with my lizard, | 跟他们说我和我的蜥蜴出去逛了 |
| [08:21] | because we are so meshed together, | 因为我俩密不可分 |
| [08:24] | or, whatever– circle of life crap like that. | 随便怎么说 瞎编吧 |
| [08:26] | – You sure? – Yeah. | -你确定吗 -确定 |
| [08:27] | Go enjoy flying. I’ll meet you there. | 去飞吧 我们到时再见 |
| [08:30] | Come on, Bleek. | 走吧 布里克 |
| [08:33] | Lizard? | 蜥蜴 |
| [08:34] | Lizard? | 蜥蜴 |
| [08:35] | Where the fork are you? | 你他喵在哪儿 |
| [08:37] | Lizard! | 蜥蜴 |
| [08:40] | Why didn’t I name you? | 我怎么没给你取个名 |
| [08:43] | – Why? – No! | -为什么 -不 |
| [08:46] | Chidi! | 奇迪 |
| [08:48] | Sorry I shoved you, man. | 抱歉把你推下水 |
| [08:49] | I’ve just been a little jumpy. | 我那会儿有点神经质 |
| [08:52] | Hey, you didn’t happen to see my lizard in the lake, | 你在底下扑棱的时候 |
| [08:54] | when you were thrashing around down there? | 没看见我的蜥蜴吧 |
| [08:55] | No. It was cold and dark and scary. | 没有 底下又黑又冷 人家害怕 |
| [08:58] | But don’t worry, we’ll find him. | 但是别担心 我们会找到它 |
| [09:01] | Michael and Janet are busy transforming people, anyway, | 迈克尔和珍妮特忙着人宠转换呢 |
| [09:04] | so they didn’t even notice you weren’t there. | 他们没注意到你不在 |
| [09:06] | Holy crap, you’re supposed to be flying right now. | 糟了 你现在应该在天上飞 |
| [09:09] | It’s no big deal, | 没什么大不了 |
| [09:09] | I just decided I’d rather be helping you. | 我还是想来帮你 |
| [09:13] | Than soaring through the air like an owl? | 而不是像猫头鹰一样在空中翱翔 |
| [09:17] | That’s amazing. | 不可思议 |
| [09:19] | You’re amazing. | 你真是不可思议 |
| [09:24] | After that, you spent all your time together. | 那之后 你们形影不离 |
| [09:27] | You studied philosophy together. | 一起学哲学 |
| [09:29] | You even got Chidi hooked on popcorn shrimp. | 你甚至让奇迪迷上了爆米花虾 |
| [09:32] | Eventually, you became suspicious of me, | 最后 你开始怀疑我 |
| [09:34] | and escaped to Mindy St. Claire’s house on a train. | 然后坐火车逃到明迪·圣克莱尔家 |
| [09:37] | That was the first time you actually said it out loud. | 那是你第一次大声说出来 |
| [09:41] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [09:43] | And you don’t need to respond, | 你不用回应 |
| [09:44] | ’cause I know you have trouble saying how you feel– | 因为我知道你不擅于表达自己的情感 |
| [09:47] | I love you too. | 我也爱你 |
| [09:53] | That’s the story. | 故事就是这样了 |
| [09:54] | You’re capable of human love. Congrats. | 你有爱的能力 恭喜 |
| [09:57] | – Can we go now? – How did it end? | -我们可以走了吗 -结局呢 |
| [09:59] | Like it always did, with me rebooting you. | 就像每次一样 我把你们重启了 |
| [10:02] | There’s–there’s no need to– | 没有必要 |
| [10:03] | Show me, please. | 让我看看 |
| [10:07] | All right. Let’s get this over with. | 好吧 让我们把这事解决了 |
| [10:08] | – So, listen guys– – No, you–listen. | -你们听着 -不 我们说你听 |
| [10:11] | We just went to Mindy St. Claire’s, | 我们去了明迪·圣克莱尔家 |
| [10:13] | and when she wasn’t trying to trick us into having a threesome, | 撇开她给我们下套 想拉我们玩3P时 |
| [10:17] | she filled us in on everything that you’ve been up to here. | 她把你在这里的一切都告诉了我们 |
| [10:19] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [10:20] | We know this is, like, the hundredth time | 我们知道这是你第几百次 |
| [10:22] | you’ve tried to torture us, | 折磨我们了 |
| [10:23] | but this time it’s different, | 但这次不同 |
| [10:24] | because… we’re in love. | 因为 我们相爱了 |
| [10:28] | And love is stronger than anything you can throw at us. | 爱能战胜一切你设置的障碍 |
| [10:31] | No, it’s not. | 不 不是 |
| [10:32] | Love is stronger than anything I can throw at you? | 爱能战胜一切我设置的障碍[扔] |
| [10:35] | I could throw an elephant at you. | 我可以朝你们扔一头大象 |
| [10:37] | You think a thrown elephant wouldn’t crush you because of love? | 你觉得爱能阻止飞掷的大象压扁你们吗 |
| [10:40] | She was speaking metaphorically. | 她那是比喻的说法 |
| [10:42] | Even metaphorically, it’s lame. | 即使是比喻也很逊 |
| [10:43] | It’s okay. | 没关系 |
| [10:44] | No matter what he does, | 无论他做什么 |
| [10:47] | we will find each other, | 我们都会找到彼此 |
| [10:48] | and we will help each other, because we’re soul mates. | 我们会帮助彼此 因为我们是灵魂伴侣 |
| [10:54] | There’s no such thing as soul mates, you dingus. | 根本没有灵魂伴侣这回事 蠢蛋 |
| [10:58] | I made it up. | 都是我编的剧本 |
| [11:00] | I put clowns in your house because you hate them. | 因为你讨厌小丑 我在你家到处放小丑 |
| [11:03] | I forced you to choose the lizard, | 我逼你选了蜥蜴 |
| [11:04] | and then I made that lizard run away. | 然后让蜥蜴跑掉 |
| [11:07] | I made it all up! | 都是我编的剧本 |
| [11:09] | Don’t you understand that? | 你们还不明白吗 |
| [11:11] | This… | 这… |
| [11:14] | That’s why I didn’t want to give you your memories back. | 正因为这样 我才不想让你恢复记忆 |
| [11:16] | I didn’t want you to see how cruel I used to be. | 我不想让你看到我以前多么残忍 |
| [11:19] | Plus, I wore a lot of French cuff shirts back then. | 而且 我当时经常穿双层袖口衬衫 |
| [11:22] | I thought it made me look classy. | 我觉得那样会显得我有品位 |
| [11:23] | It’s–it’s–it’s all embarrassing. | 这些都让我觉得很丢脸 |
| [11:25] | But I’m different now, I promise. | 但我现在不一样了 我保证 |
| [11:27] | I’ll swear on a Bible like you humans do. | 我愿意像你们人类一样对《圣经》发誓 |
| [11:30] | I could grab one right now. | 我可以现在就去拿一本 |
| [11:31] | It’s the only book they have in the Sex Ed section. | 这里的性教育区只有《圣经》一本书 |
| [11:33] | I’m not mad at you. | 我没生你的气 |
| [11:35] | I can’t be mad at a demon for being evil. | 我不能怪恶魔作恶的本性 |
| [11:38] | I’m just sad, | 我只是难过 |
| [11:40] | because I thought for a second I could love someone. | 因为有那么一秒我以为我能爱上一个人 |
| [11:45] | But really, it was just you manipulating me | 但实际上只是你操纵我 |
| [11:47] | into thinking I loved someone. | 让我以为我爱上了一个人 |
| [11:50] | So, I guess I was right. | 我想得没错 |
| [11:52] | I’m incapable of love. | 我爱无能 |
| [11:56] | That’s no biggie. Do you wanna get burgers? | 没什么大不了 你想去吃汉堡吗 |
| [12:01] | Hang on, how did you draw that conclusion? | 等等 你是怎么得出这种结论、 |
| [12:04] | You just watched yourself fall in love with Chidi. | 你刚刚看到自己爱上了奇迪 |
| [12:07] | No, I didn’t, | 不 并没有 |
| [12:08] | I watched a puppeteer pull a bunch of strings | 我看到的是木偶师牵线操纵 |
| [12:11] | to make us think we were in love. | 让我们以为我们相爱了 |
| [12:13] | You said it yourself, you made it all up. | 你自己也说了 都是你编出来的剧本 |
| [12:15] | Okay, yes. | 好吧 没错 |
| [12:16] | I put you and Chidi in close proximity, | 我让你和奇迪近距离接触 |
| [12:19] | because I needed you to drive each other crazy. | 是因为我想让你们把对方逼疯 |
| [12:21] | But I never intended for you to fall in love. | 但我从未想让你们相爱 |
| [12:24] | Once you made us bond, the romance was inevitable. | 一旦你让我们亲近 爱情就不可避免 |
| [12:27] | It’s a basic reality show playbook. | 这是基本的真人秀剧本 |
| [12:29] | Put a bunch of attractive young people in stressful situations, | 将一些有魅力的年轻人置于压力环境中 |
| [12:32] | so they act like idiots and have sex with each other. | 他们就会像傻瓜一样搞上了 |
| [12:35] | This is all just determinism. | 这全是决定论造成 |
| [12:38] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:39] | “Determinism is the theory that | 决定论是指 |
| [12:41] | “We have no control over our own actions. | 我们对自己的行为没有控制权 |
| [12:43] | “Everything we do happens because of some external force, | 我们所做的一切都是由于一些外力 |
| [12:46] | which exists outside of our control.” | 而外力不受我们控制 |
| [12:49] | I didn’t choose to fall in love with Chidi, | 我并没有自主选择爱上奇迪 |
| [12:51] | because some all-knowing demon, you, | 因为某个无所不知的恶魔 也就是你 |
| [12:53] | brought us together and scripted our lives. | 让我们走到一起并编写了我们的生活 |
| [12:54] | That’s ridiculous. | 一派胡言 |
| [12:55] | I didn’t make you kiss Chidi by that lake. | 我没让你在湖边吻奇迪 |
| [12:58] | You kind of did. | 其实算是你造成的 |
| [12:59] | You orchestrated the whole “Pet day” thing, | 你精心策划了”宠物日”活动 |
| [13:01] | manipulated us into choosing specific animals, | 操控我们选择了特定的动物 |
| [13:04] | made my lizard run away, | 让我的蜥蜴跑掉 |
| [13:05] | which led to Chidi coming to help me find it, | 导致奇迪来帮我找蜥蜴 |
| [13:07] | which led to us kissing, which led to us falling in love. | 导致我们接吻 从而导致我们相爱 |
| [13:10] | None of that was my choice. | 那一切都不是我的选择 |
| [13:12] | Everything in my life has been determined | 我生活的一切都已经 |
| [13:15] | by my upbringing, my genetics, or–or my environment. | 被我受的教养 遗传或环境决定了 |
| [13:18] | And everything in my afterlife was determined by you. | 我在”死后世界”的一切都是被你决定的 |
| [13:20] | There is no such thing as free will. | 根本没有什么自由意志 |
| [13:24] | We’re closing up soon, guys. | 两位 我们很快就要关门了 |
| [13:25] | Yeah, can we just have 15 minutes? | 能等我们15分钟吗 |
| [13:26] | We’re kind of in the middle of something. | 我们正火热讨论着呢 |
| [13:28] | I’d take off if I were you. | 你们还是赶紧走吧 |
| [13:29] | The second we close, they use this place to shoot pornos. | 这里一关门 就成小黄片拍摄地了 |
| [13:34] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:36] | You want something to drink? | 你们想来点喝的吗 |
| [13:37] | Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. | 也许想 也许不想 |
| [13:38] | But whatever I choose will be the result | 但不管我怎么选择 |
| [13:41] | of millions of biological, genetic, and societal factors | 都是由上百万根本不受我控制的生物学 |
| [13:44] | that are entirely outside my control. | 遗传及社会因素造成的 |
| [13:48] | Iced tea. | 冰茶 |
| [13:49] | That sounds good. I’ll have one too. | 听起来不错 我也来一杯 |
| [13:51] | Okay. You think you have no free will, | 好吧 你觉得因为我编写了发生的一切 |
| [13:53] | because I scripted everything that happened, right? | 所以你没有自由意志 对吗 |
| [13:58] | All I have to do is prove that you made one choice | 我只需证明你做了一个 |
| [14:02] | that I couldn’t anticipate. | 我完全不能预料的决定 |
| [14:05] | Easy. | 小菜一碟 |
| [14:08] | Okay, here’s a perfect example! | 好了 我找到一个完美的例子 |
| [14:10] | In the very first attempt– | 在最开始的一场戏中… |
| [14:12] | Dude. Dude-dude-dude! | 老兄 老兄 老兄 |
| [14:14] | – What? – Yelling– | -怎么 -大叫 |
| [14:15] | You’re–you’re yelling. | 你在大吼大叫 |
| [14:17] | Like, so loudly. | 非常大声 |
| [14:18] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [14:19] | – Sorry. – Yeah. | -抱歉 -没事 |
| [14:21] | Watch this, it’s from the very first attempt. | 看这个 这是最开始一场戏的片段 |
| [14:25] | If anyone has any information… | 如果你们有相关的… |
| [14:28] | – Oh boy. – About any of this… | -天啊 -消息 |
| [14:30] | Okay, easy. | 没事的 放松 |
| [14:31] | I beg you, tell me. | 我请求你 告诉我 |
| [14:33] | Hey, I love you, man. | 我爱你 |
| [14:37] | Michael. | 迈克尔 |
| [14:39] | The problem in the neighborhood | “善地”的祸端 |
| [14:42] | is me. | 就是我 |
| [14:44] | You saw your friend in pain, | 你看到朋友痛苦 |
| [14:46] | and you decided to sacrifice yourself to help him. | 决定牺牲自己帮助他 |
| [14:50] | That wasn’t me pulling a string or manipulating you. | 不是我在牵线引导或操纵你 |
| [14:53] | In fact, it was the last thing I wanted. | 事实上 那是我最不想做的事 |
| [14:56] | Ruined my whole plan. | 毁了我整盘计划 |
| [14:58] | – Free will. – No, dude. | -那就是自由意志 -不 老兄 |
| [15:00] | The only reason I cared enough about Chidi to do that, | 我之所以关心奇迪而那样做 |
| [15:04] | was because you forced us together, | 就是因为你强迫我们在一块 |
| [15:07] | made me feel bad for causing him pain. | 让我愧疚于造成了他的痛苦 |
| [15:09] | – Okay, yeah– – Yeah. | -好吧 -没错 |
| [15:10] | But, no, you were constantly doing stuff I couldn’t anticipate. | 可是 不 你一直做我预料不到的事 |
| [15:14] | As a matter of fact, I complained to you once, | 事实上 我有一次就跟你抱怨了 |
| [15:17] | right–right to your face. | 当面说的 |
| [15:19] | I think it was reboot 444. | 应该是第444场 |
| [15:22] | Now, is Chidi trapped in the purple space bubble? | 奇迪被困在紫色太空泡泡球中了吗 |
| [15:25] | Yes. Is he in pain? | 是的 他痛苦吗 |
| [15:27] | Almost certainly. Will he ever get out? | 几乎可以确定 他还能出来吗 |
| [15:29] | No. However– | 不能 不过… |
| [15:31] | Yeah, wrong one. Wrong one. | 好吧 找错了 找错了 |
| [15:33] | I mean, that’s worth watching. It’s great. | 确实值得一看 很精彩 |
| [15:36] | But uh–not–not the one I was thinking. | 不过不是我想的那一场 |
| [15:37] | It’s probably, 445. | 应该是第445场 |
| [15:44] | 欢迎 一切安好 | |
| [15:46] | You. In here. | 你 进来 |
| [15:51] | Where am I? | 我这是在哪里 |
| [15:53] | Hell. You’re in Hell. | 地狱 你在地狱 |
| [15:55] | Can I ask you something? | 我能问你个问题吗 |
| [15:56] | Have I missed anything in that freaky little noodle of yours? | 你那古怪的小脑袋里有什么被我遗漏了吗 |
| [16:00] | See I–I’ve studied everything about your life. | 我研究了你的一生 |
| [16:02] | I know your hopes, your fears, | 我知道你的希望 恐惧 |
| [16:04] | your psychology, your tendencies. | 心理及各种倾向 |
| [16:07] | I know all your private shames, | 我知道你所有的隐秘羞耻 |
| [16:09] | like that you don’t wash your feet in the shower; | 比如你冲澡不洗脚 |
| [16:12] | your first concert was Barenaked Ladies; | 去的第一场演唱会是裸体淑女乐队的 |
| [16:14] | and you have frequent sex dreams | 你还经常做 |
| [16:17] | about Sam the Eagle, from the Muppets. | 《提线木偶》中山姆鹰的春梦 |
| [16:20] | Well, he’s very authoritative, and I find that reassuring. | 他一副霸道总裁范儿 很得我心啊 |
| [16:23] | You keep making crazy choices I don’t understand. | 你总是做出我无法理解的意外选择 |
| [16:29] | Am I missing something? | 我遗漏了什么吗 |
| [16:30] | I’m sorry. Can we rewind for a second? | 抱歉 能倒回去一下吗 |
| [16:32] | Who are you? Who is that guy? | 你是谁 那人又是谁 |
| [16:34] | Am I dead? | 我死了吗 |
| [16:37] | Is Sam the Eagle here? | 山姆鹰在这里吗 |
| [16:39] | No. | 不 |
| [16:40] | I tried to script your whole afterlife. | 我试图编写你整个”死后世界” |
| [16:43] | And I devised a 15 million-point plan to torture you. | 我设计了一千五百万点计划折磨你 |
| [16:48] | You made choices I never saw coming. | 你却做出了我完全无法预料的选择 |
| [16:51] | I call that free will. | 我觉得这就是自由意志 |
| [16:57] | What if all your choices are predetermined? | 万一你的选择是被预先决定的呢 |
| [16:59] | You’ve got to be kidding me. | 你这是要逼死臣妾啊 |
| [17:01] | What? We don’t know. | 这事谁能说得准啊 |
| [17:02] | Maybe there’s a mega-demon | 或许有个更厉害的大魔头 |
| [17:03] | who built a torture chamber for demons, | 搞了个折磨恶魔的酷刑室 |
| [17:05] | and this whole thing is just him torturing you. | 搞出这一切其实都是他在折磨你 |
| [17:07] | And maybe all the mega-demons | 又或许所有厉害的大魔头 |
| [17:10] | are just fulfilling a destiny laid out by a bunch of | 只是在遵从由一群超级智慧的狼蛛乌贼 |
| [17:13] | super intelligent tarantula-squids, | 安排的命运 |
| [17:16] | who are torturing them, be– | 这群恶魔才是被折磨的人 |
| [17:24] | Why did you do that? | 你为什么要这样 |
| [17:26] | Because I have free will. | 因为我有自由意志 |
| [17:27] | And because you’re being so annoying. | 也因为你太烦人了 |
| [17:32] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [17:33] | I’m so sorry that he did that. | 很抱歉他那么做了 |
| [17:35] | Happens all the time. | 这事经常发生 |
| [17:37] | Usually it’s the younger woman doing it to the older guy, though. | 不过通常是嫩草泼老牛 |
| [17:41] | Dude! Not cool. | 老兄 太不友好了[不酷] |
| [17:43] | Disagree. | 我不认同 |
| [17:44] | I think it’s the coolest thing I’ve ever done. | 我觉得这是我做过的最酷的事 |
| [17:47] | Do you really not see what’s happening here? | 你真看不明白这是怎么回事吗 |
| [17:50] | Do you want me to spell it out for you? | 你想让我仔细解释给你听吗 |
| [17:52] | This is a defense mechanism, Eleanor. | 这是你的防御机制 埃莉诺 |
| [17:55] | You saw yourself fall in love with Chidi, | 你看到自己爱上了奇迪 |
| [17:58] | and it freaked you out to see yourself be so vulnerable. | 看到自己那么脆弱让你恐慌 |
| [18:01] | So, you’re using determinism to convince yourself | 所以你用决定论说服自己 |
| [18:04] | that those feelings were not real. | 那些感觉不真实 |
| [18:06] | You know, you don’t know me, man. | 你又不了解我 |
| [18:07] | Yes, I do, I know everything about you, remember? | 我了解 我知道你的一切 记得吗 |
| [18:12] | Including that nothing scares you more than vulnerability. | 包括最让你恐惧的就是脆弱 |
| [18:15] | – Whatever. Who even cares? – I do. | -随便吧 谁在乎 -我在乎 |
| [18:18] | Because if everything is determined, | 因为如果万事都被决定 |
| [18:20] | and we have no free will, | 我们没有自由意志 |
| [18:21] | then all the stuff we’re doing to put more good | 那么我们让世界充满善的行为 |
| [18:24] | into the world is pointless. | 就毫无意义 |
| [18:26] | And I want to believe that it matters. | 而我想要相信那是有意义的 |
| [18:29] | So if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna use my free will | 所以请恕我失陪 我现在要用我的自由意志 |
| [18:32] | right now to go pick up our friends at the airport. | 去接我们在机场的朋友 |
| [18:35] | Worst possible use of free will, | 可能是对自由意志最糟糕的利用 |
| [18:38] | but I’m gonna do it anyway, | 但我还是要做 |
| [18:39] | because I care about them. | 因为我关心他们 |
| [18:45] | You might wanna head out too. | 你最好也出去吧 |
| [18:47] | We’re closing soon, and the second we do, | 我们就要关门了 一旦关门 |
| [18:49] | they use this place to shoot porn. | 这里就成了拍小黄片的场地 |
| [18:56] | First class was amazing. | 头等舱真是太棒了 |
| [18:58] | They give you so many free presents. | 他们给了好多免费礼物 |
| [18:59] | A shaving kit, an eye mask– a vest. | 剃须工具包 眼罩 还有背心 |
| [19:04] | At times like this, it’s fun to remember | 每当这时 想想我们的合法婚姻 |
| [19:06] | that we’re legally married. | 真是好笑 |
| [19:09] | That is fun. | 确实好笑 |
| [19:11] | I call window seat! | 我要靠窗坐 |
| [19:20] | I’m sorry. You were right. | 我很抱歉 你说得对 |
| [19:22] | I was scared about what it all meant, | 我害怕我动真感情了 |
| [19:25] | and I went back to one of my favorite moves, | 于是又摆出以往的德行 |
| [19:27] | turn on the ol’ Blame Hose. | 开启了”指责模式” |
| [19:29] | “This is all you fault.” | “这全是你的错” |
| [19:31] | Apology accepted. | 我接受你的道歉 |
| [19:33] | And I’m sorry I dumped iced tea on your head. | 抱歉我朝你头上泼了冰茶 |
| [19:36] | Are you kidding me? You did exactly | 才没有呢 |
| [19:37] | what you should do when you’re friend is being annoying. | 朋友讨人厌时 就该这么做 |
| [19:39] | You snapped me out of it. | 你让我清醒了 |
| [19:41] | It also made me realize, in a weird way, | 也让我明白了 从某种诡异的角度看 |
| [19:43] | we are the only truly free beings in the universe, | 我们是宇宙中仅有的自由意志个体 |
| [19:46] | because we actually know what’s up with the afterlife. | 因为我们清楚知道”死后世界”是怎么回事 |
| [19:49] | And I think that means we need to be bold. | 这意味着我们的步子要迈得大胆一些 |
| [19:52] | Take the Soul Squad to the next level somehow. | 让”灵魂小队”更上一层楼 |
| [19:56] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [19:58] | We need to find someone who can | 我们需要找到一个 |
| [20:00] | serve as a– as a blueprint for humanity, | 可以作为人性蓝图的人 |
| [20:03] | someone who’s life is so great | 一个人生特别伟大 |
| [20:05] | that we can use it as a model to get as many points | 我们可以用来做模范 尽可能让更多人 |
| [20:08] | for as many people as possible. | 得到更多的”良善积分”的人 |
| [20:09] | And I think I know that perfect person. | 我似乎知道一个完美人选 |
| [20:11] | Rihanna. Good call. | 蕾哈娜 好选择 |
| [20:12] | I don’t know her personally, | 我并不认识她 |
| [20:13] | but I did see her in Vegas once, | 不过我在维加斯见过她一次 |
| [20:14] | and her calf brushed up against my tongue. | 她的小腿擦到了我的舌头 |
| [20:18] | I licked her leg. I was kicked out. | 我舔了她的腿 被赶了出去 |
| [20:19] | It’s not Rihanna. It’s–it’s someone way cooler. | 不是蕾哈娜 是一个更酷的人 |
| [20:22] | Hey, everybody out of the car! | 大家都下车 |
| [20:25] | Grab your bags! | 拿上包 |
| [20:26] | We’re going to rural Canada! | 我们要去加拿大乡村啦 |
| [20:33] | – Is it ready? – I guess. | -准备就绪了吗 -应该吧 |
| [20:35] | We have no idea if it’ll work. | 我们不确定能不能行 |
| [20:37] | I’m sure it’s perfect. | 肯定能行 |
| [20:40] | Give it a try, Shawn. | 试一下吧 肖恩 |
| [20:41] | Me? I’m not going through that thing. | 我吗 我才不要穿过那玩意儿 |
| [20:44] | She is. | 她来试 |
| [20:45] | Ask Michael how many times he rebooted them. | 问迈克尔 他重启了他们多少次 |
| [20:47] | – He’s lying… – Yeah, zip it, toots. | -他在说谎 -闭嘴 亲爱的 |
| [20:49] | We’re way past that. | 这都是上一季的剧情了 |
| [20:51] | Where am I? | 我这是在哪 |
| [20:53] | How long was I in there? | 我在里面待多久了 |
| [20:54] | You have missed a lot. | 你这一季没啥戏份 |
| [20:56] | Now go through that makeshift portal. | 你赶快穿过临时传送门 |
| [20:58] | See if you explode. | 看你会不会爆炸 |
| [21:02] | This might be gross. | 场面可能会很血腥 |
| [21:09] | Am I on Earth? | 我这是在人间吗 |
| [21:11] | Did you figure out a way to build an illegal door to Earth? | 你建了一个通向人间的非法传送门吗 |
| [21:16] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [21:17] | That’s exactly what I did. | 我确实这么干了 |
| [21:19] | – Well, we all helped. – Shut up, Glenn. | -我们都帮了忙 -闭嘴 格伦 |