| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:55] | – Hello. – Hello. | -你好 -你好 |
| [00:56] | Hope we have the right house. | 希望我们找对房子了 |
| [00:58] | I’m looking for a Doug Forcett? | 我在找道格·福赛特 |
| [01:00] | Well, I’m Doug Forcett. | 我就是 |
| [01:02] | How? Yes. Yes, you are. | 什么 对 你当然是 |
| [01:05] | Sorry, um, I’m a reporter for the “Calgary Times Examiner.” | 不好意思 我是《卡尔加里时报》的记者 |
| [01:10] | My name is Michael Scoop. | 我叫迈克尔·斯科普[独家新闻] |
| [01:13] | This is my photographer, Janet Scoop. | 这是我的摄影师珍妮特·斯科普 |
| [01:16] | She’s my sister with the scoops. | 她是我妹妹 身材火辣 |
| [01:18] | Boy. | 嘴欠啊 |
| [01:18] | Some people in town are saying you live | 镇上有人说 |
| [01:20] | a pretty interesting life out here. | 你活得潇洒惬意啊 |
| [01:22] | Growing your own food completely off the grid? | 自给自足 遁隐于世 |
| [01:25] | We would love to do a human interest story about you for the paper. | 我们很想在奇闻故事栏刊登一篇关于你的文章 |
| [01:29] | What do you say? | 意下如何 |
| [01:31] | Okay, well let me think. | 好吧 让我想想 |
| [01:33] | Well, first off, I’m so flattered that you’d want to do | 首先 你愿意为我写一篇全新报道 |
| [01:35] | a whole news story just about me. | 我感到很荣幸 |
| [01:37] | That’s so nice. | 太好了 |
| [01:38] | A heartfelt thanks to the whole Scoop family. | 向你们”独家”全家表示由衷感谢 |
| [01:41] | Can I ask… is your newspaper printed on recycled paper? | 我能问一下 你们报纸是用再生纸印刷的吗 |
| [01:45] | Yes, no, very recycled. The most. | 是的 非常再生 再生到极致了 |
| [01:47] | Well, all right then. Come on in. | 那就行 进来吧 |
| [01:49] | Great, great. | 太好了 |
| [01:50] | You know, before we forget. | 怕我们一会儿忘了 |
| [01:52] | Can Janet take a photo of you for the paper? | 能让珍妮特给你拍张照吗 放在报纸上 |
| [01:56] | Okay, can you look up a little and to the right? | 你能往上看一点吗 再往右 |
| [01:59] | Smile, but only with your mouth and not your eyes. | 微笑 但是嘴笑眼不笑 |
| [02:02] | Perfect. | 好极了 |
| [02:10] | It was 1972. My friend Randy and I ate some magic mushrooms. | 1972年 我和朋友兰迪吃了点致幻蘑菇 |
| [02:15] | Randy asked me, “What do you think happens when you die?” | 兰迪问我 “你觉得你死后会怎样” |
| [02:18] | And I saw with perfect clarity how the afterlife works. | 于是我就领悟了”死后世界”的真谛 |
| [02:23] | Immediately I knew I had to live a perfect life. | 瞬间懂得 我必须完美地度过这一生 |
| [02:28] | Well, not immediately. | 也不是瞬间 |
| [02:29] | The next day all I could do was watch kung-fu movies | 第二天我一直在看功夫电影 |
| [02:31] | and stroke a blanket that I thought was my cat. | 撸着我以为是猫的毯子 |
| [02:34] | But soon after, I designed a life that would maximize | 但是很快 我就设计了一种 |
| [02:39] | my point total and help me get into the Good Place. | 能让我以最高分进入”善地”的生活 |
| [02:42] | And I’ve been living it ever since. | 从那之后我一直这样生活 |
| [02:44] | I know, this sounds crazy. | 我知道 听起来很扯淡 |
| [02:45] | No! No, actually it makes– it makes perfect sense. | 不 实际上很有道理 |
| [02:51] | Boy. You’ve been sitting here for ten minutes | 天啊 你们坐了十分钟 |
| [02:53] | and I haven’t offered you anything to eat or drink. | 我还没问你们要不要喝水吃东西呢 |
| [02:56] | Would you like some water or fresh radishes? | 你们想来点水 还是新鲜小萝卜 |
| [02:59] | Water would be great. | 水就可以了 |
| [03:03] | Janet, how cool is he? | 珍妮特 他太酷了 |
| [03:05] | You know, for a celebrity, he’s amazingly down to earth. | 作为一个名人 他也太接地气了 |
| [03:09] | Stars. They really are just like us. | 明星和我们没什么区别 |
| [03:11] | He’s so thoughtful with his actions. | 他的举动都很体贴 |
| [03:14] | Thank goodness he had that hallucination. | 幸好他出现了那次幻觉 |
| [03:16] | He could have had the one Randy had | 他的幻觉本可能跟兰迪那次一样 |
| [03:17] | where everything was made of ears. | 看见的一切都是耳朵的假象 |
| [03:19] | Way less helpful. | 一点帮助都没有 |
| [03:20] | We have to learn everything we can about what makes him tick | 我们得详细了解他的为人 |
| [03:24] | so we can use it to help others. | 以此来帮助其他人 |
| [03:26] | He is the blueprint, Janet. | 他就是”人性蓝图” 珍妮特 |
| [03:29] | He figured it all out. | 答案就在他这里 |
| [03:31] | Here we go–two waters. | 来了 两杯水 |
| [03:33] | Let me know if you’re not happy with them. | 如果哪里不满意 就告诉我 |
| [03:35] | I have ice cubes if it’s too warm | 水太烫 有冰块 |
| [03:37] | and a koozie if it’s too cold. | 太凉 有保温杯 |
| [03:42] | Well, that has an interesting aftertaste. | 这水的回味真独特 |
| [03:44] | Is that from a nearby river? | 是从附近河里打的吗 |
| [03:46] | No. Why take fresh water away from the beavers and the fish? | 当然不是 为什么要跟河狸和鱼抢新鲜水源呢 |
| [03:50] | No, I have my composting toilet hooked up to a water filtration system. | 我把我的堆肥厕所和滤水系统接在一起了 |
| [03:55] | One man’s waste is another man’s water. | 一个人的废料是另一人的水源 |
| [03:57] | And both men are me. | 这两个人都是我 |
| [04:02] | Yeah, I’m pretty excited to relax and have a drink. | 我很激动能够放松心情喝一杯 |
| [04:05] | I mean, saving souls feels great, | 拯救灵魂的感觉很好 |
| [04:06] | but Sydney to Budapest to Phoenix to Calgary– | 但从悉尼到布达佩斯 到凤凰城再到卡尔加里 |
| [04:10] | I’m so jetlagged, I can’t even regrender my chorf. | 时差倒得我已经不会说话了 |
| [04:14] | Don’t even know what I was trying to say. | 我都不知道自己在说啥 |
| [04:16] | You need to get your blood flowing. | 你得活动一下 |
| [04:18] | There’s a pool table over there. | 那边有台球桌 |
| [04:19] | Wanna play? | 想来一局吗 |
| [04:20] | Yeah, sure. Why not. | 好啊 为什么不呢 |
| [04:21] | Let’s do it. | 开始吧 |
| [04:27] | Tahani, can I ask your advice about something? | 塔哈妮 我能问问你的意见吗 |
| [04:29] | Is it about your grating speaking voice? | 你是指你说话声音太刺耳吗 |
| [04:31] | I’m so glad you finally brought it up. | 谢天谢地你终于提这件事了 |
| [04:33] | Because, honestly, with a few elocution lessons– | 因为说实话 只需几节发声课 |
| [04:35] | No, I wanna ask you about Chidi. | 不 我是想问奇迪的事 |
| [04:36] | What’s wrong with my voice? | 我的声音怎么了 |
| [04:39] | Nothing. It’s lovely. | 没事 非常动听 |
| [04:41] | Tell me about Chidi. | 奇迪怎么了 |
| [04:43] | So, it must get lonely up here all by yourself | 你一个人住这里 没人倾诉 |
| [04:45] | without anyone to talk to. | 一定很孤独吧 |
| [04:47] | I’ve got lots of friends. | 我有很多朋友 |
| [04:48] | There’s this little guy, for example. | 比如这个小家伙 |
| [04:51] | Yeah, it’s a snail. | 这只蜗牛 |
| [04:53] | Hi, snail. I don’t name them in case | 嗨 蜗牛 我不给它们起名字 |
| [04:55] | they already have a name they prefer. | 说不定它们有自己喜欢的名字 |
| [04:58] | So, this is an organic garden? | 这是个有机花园吗 |
| [05:00] | Yeah. Everything I eat I grow myself. | 是 我吃的东西都是自己种的 |
| [05:03] | The radish patch was actually here when I moved in. | 这块小萝卜地在我搬来时 就有了 |
| [05:06] | I thought it’d be mean to dig it up. | 如果挖掉就太残忍了 |
| [05:08] | Mean to the radishes? | 对小萝卜吗 |
| [05:10] | I also grow lentils because they require very little water | 我还种小扁豆 因为它们只需极少的水 |
| [05:13] | and have the smallest carbon footprint. | 碳排放量也很小 |
| [05:17] | All he consumes are lentils and radishes. | 他只吃扁豆和萝卜 |
| [05:19] | No, Janet. He also consumes his own waste. | 不 珍妮特 他还喝自己的排泄物 |
| [05:22] | So, everything’s fine. | 所以 一切都好 |
| [05:25] | How do you play pool again? What are the rules? | 你怎么打台球来着 规则是什么 |
| [05:28] | That’s one of the best things about pool, dawg. | 这就是台球最好的地方 哥们 |
| [05:30] | There are no rules. | 没有规则 |
| [05:31] | I am 100% sure there are. | 我百分百确定有规则 |
| [05:32] | Me and my friends play a special Jacksonville style of pool. | 我和我兄弟玩的是特别式杰克逊维尔版台球 |
| [05:35] | It’s called “Special Jacksonville-style pool.” | 叫做”特别式杰克逊维尔版台球” |
| [05:37] | You hit whatever ball you want but you use your hands. | 你可以打任意一个球 不过必须用手 |
| [05:41] | And that’s it. | 就这样 |
| [05:46] | Okay, your turn. I got a thousand points. | 该你了 我得一千分 |
| [05:48] | that’s the other rule. You make up your own points. | 这是另一条规则 自己定分数 |
| [05:52] | I got five million points. | 我得五百万分 |
| [05:54] | Damn, how’d you get so good at this so fast? | 我去 你怎么学这么快 |
| [05:57] | So, in this whole other timeline, | 在另一条时间线上 |
| [05:59] | Chidi and I said “I love you” to each other. | 我和奇迪互相说了”我爱你” |
| [06:03] | But he doesn’t remember any of that happened, | 但他不记得任何事 |
| [06:06] | so I guess my question is, when is the right time | 我的问题是 应该什么时候告诉那个人 |
| [06:10] | to tell someone you were passionate lovers | 在”死后世界”的另一个时间线上 |
| [06:12] | in an alternate timeline in the afterlife | 你们两个曾是热恋的情侣 |
| [06:14] | but he doesn’t remember because technically | 但他完全不记得这事 因为严格来说 |
| [06:16] | none of that happened in this strand of the multi-verse? | 在多元宇宙的这一部分 那一切都没有发生 |
| [06:20] | You know what? I’ll just check with Yahoo answers. | 算了这样吧 我直接去雅虎上搜答案 |
| [06:21] | I’m sure someone’s weighed in. | 肯定有人在上面发表了 |
| [06:22] | Nope, nope. I’m flattered you would seek my advice. | 不 我很高兴你会征求我的意见 |
| [06:26] | Though, I suppose, it makes sense. | 虽然我觉得这样有道理 |
| [06:29] | I’m sure the one constant in all the reboots | 我肯定在每次重启中不变的是 |
| [06:30] | is that you and I are best friends. | 你和我是最好的朋友 |
| [06:33] | Yep. | 是的 |
| [06:34] | Look, I don’t think you would want Chidi to know | 你应该不会想让奇迪知道 |
| [06:38] | what happened in the past | 过去发生的事 |
| [06:40] | unless you wanted it to happen again in the present. | 除非你想再次上演一次热恋 |
| [06:44] | You can’t know how Chidi will react. Maybe painful. | 你不知道奇迪会作何反应 可能会痛苦 |
| [06:47] | But it’s never a bad idea to tell someone how you feel. | 但表明自己的感受永远不会错 |
| [06:52] | Thanks, Tahani. You give really good advice. | 谢谢 塔哈妮 你的建议很好 |
| [06:55] | And you made a really hot centaur. | 你的半人马也很性感 |
| [06:57] | Sorry? | 什么 |
| [06:59] | So, these are some of my 71 adopted dogs and wolves. | 这些是我收养的71条狗和狼 |
| [07:03] | You’ve rescued every stray animal | 你把每个走失于此的流浪动物 |
| [07:05] | that’s ever wandered onto your property? | 都收留下来了吗 |
| [07:07] | Yes, ma’am. I’ve been mauled several times. | 没错 我已经被它们伤了好几次了 |
| [07:10] | This little guy here might look innocent, but boy, | 这只小家伙看起来天然无公害 |
| [07:13] | he goes right for the squeaker if you know what I mean. | 但它能挠得你哇哇乱叫 |
| [07:16] | This is fun. You get to meet Raymond. | 很有趣 你们要见见雷蒙德 |
| [07:18] | Hi, Raymond. | 雷蒙德 |
| [07:19] | Hi, dumdum. Who are these two hosers? | 傻子 这两个傻叉是谁 |
| [07:21] | Don’t worry about Raymond. He’s just a local sociopath | 不用担心 他只是当地的一个反社会分子 |
| [07:24] | who comes by my house to take advantage of me. | 总来我家占便宜 |
| [07:27] | Yeah, I got your laundry all folded and ready for you. | 我把你的衣服都洗完叠好了 |
| [07:29] | For whatever reason, | 不知道为什么 |
| [07:30] | this loser does whatever you tell him to do. | 这个废物会做你让他做的任何事 |
| [07:33] | Watch. Hey, give that guy your shoe. | 看着 把你的鞋给他 |
| [07:36] | – Would that make you happy? – Very happy. | -这样会让你开心吗 -非常开心 |
| [07:38] | Now give him your shoe. | 把你的鞋给他 |
| [07:39] | Well, that’s okay, Doug, don’t–I don’t need your shoe. | 没关系 道格 我不需要你的鞋 |
| [07:42] | Please don’t give me your shoe. | 请别把你的鞋给我 |
| [07:43] | Well, then give me your shoe, or I’ll be sad. | 那把鞋给我吧 不然我会不开心 |
| [07:46] | There you are. | 给你 |
| [07:50] | Well, as long as he’s happy. | 他开心就好 |
| [07:52] | See, if I make him happy, I get the points. | 如果我让他开心 我就能加分 |
| [07:54] | That’s how the system works, remember? | 系统就是这样计算 记得吗 |
| [07:55] | Go get your shoe, idiot. | 去拿你的鞋 傻逼 |
| [07:58] | Be right back. | 马上回来 |
| [08:00] | That’s a bleeder. | 扎脚了 |
| [08:04] | Michael, face facts. | 迈克尔 面对现实吧 |
| [08:05] | Doug is not the blueprint of how to live a good life. | 道格不是美好人生的人性蓝图 |
| [08:08] | – He’s become a happiness pump. – What? | -他会成为一个”幸福泵” -什么 |
| [08:10] | Remember from Chidi’s lessons? | 还记得奇迪那一课吗 |
| [08:12] | I remember the term happiness pump. | 我记得”幸福泵”这个词 |
| [08:14] | That’s just mostly because Eleanor and Jason | 主要是因为埃莉诺和杰森 |
| [08:16] | made a bunch of dirty jokes about it. | 经常拿它讲黄色笑话 |
| [08:17] | It’s a criticism of utilitarianism. | 这是对功利主义的批判 |
| [08:20] | A happiness pump is someone who is obsessed | “幸福泵”是指痴迷于 |
| [08:22] | with maximizing the overall good at his or her expense. | 以自己为代价 将全体利益最大化的人 |
| [08:25] | Doug will do literally anything to make other people happy | 为了让他人开心 道格愿意做任何事 |
| [08:29] | even if it makes him miserable. | 即使自己会变得很可悲 |
| [08:30] | I don’t think he’s miserable. | 我不觉得他可悲 |
| [08:33] | So, everyone happy and contented in here? | 大家在这里开心满意吗 |
| [08:36] | What’s– | 怎么 |
| [08:37] | I volunteered to test cosmetics for a local company | 我自愿为当地一家公司做化妆品试验 |
| [08:40] | so they don’t have to test on animals. | 这样他们就不会拿小动物做试验了 |
| [08:42] | It’s fun! | 很有趣 |
| [08:43] | For the animals who don’t have to do it. | 对不用遭罪的动物来说 是好事 |
| [08:45] | For me, it’s like wearing a mask of fire. | 对我来说 就像带着一副燃烧着的面具 |
| [08:48] | what can I do for you now? | 我现在能为你们做什么吗 |
| [08:49] | Would you like to move in, permanently? | 你们想永久搬来住吗 |
| [08:51] | Or would either of you like any more water | 或者你们有人想要水 |
| [08:53] | or one of my kidneys? | 或者我其中的一个肾 |
| [08:54] | You know what? We have absolutely everything we need. Thank you. | 我们没有什么需要的了 谢谢 |
| [08:57] | We’re gonna head out now. | 我们先走了 |
| [08:58] | Okay, well, it was so nice to meet you, Janet, | 好吧 见到你很高兴 珍妮特 |
| [09:00] | and you, Mark. I mean Michael. | 还有你 马克 我是说迈克尔 |
| [09:04] | I called you Mark. Your name is Michael. | 你叫迈克尔 我把你叫成马克了 |
| [09:07] | No, no, that’s okay. | 没事 没关系的 |
| [09:08] | Hey, hey. Stay with me here, buddy. | 淡定淡定 朋友 |
| [09:10] | No, no, no, this is very bad. | 不不不 这样很不好 |
| [09:11] | Forgetting someone’s name– | 忘记别人的名字 |
| [09:12] | that’s definitely lost me some points. | 肯定会扣除我的”良善积分” |
| [09:14] | Hey, you know, I’ve always secretly wished my name was Mark. | 我一直暗戳戳希望自己叫马克 |
| [09:17] | Lie. | 说谎 |
| [09:19] | That’s a lie! | 你说谎 |
| [09:20] | Now I’m accusing you of lying. | 现在我指责你撒谎 |
| [09:22] | Now I’m yelling. Why am I yelling? | 我大喊大叫了 为什么我要喊 |
| [09:24] | I need to make this up. | 我得弥补 |
| [09:25] | I’m going to give you a really nice haircut. | 我要给你剪个很棒的发型 |
| [09:30] | – Was that– – A snail? Yeah that was a– | -那是 -蜗牛吗 是的 |
| [09:33] | No, no, no, no. | 不不不 不要 |
| [09:36] | I think he’s still alive. | 它好像还活着 |
| [09:37] | Do either of you know anything about snail first aid? | 你们知道蜗牛的急救措施吗 |
| [09:40] | – No. -Yes. I mean, “No.” | -不 -知道 我是说”不知道” |
| [09:42] | All right, Michael, I need you to find some scotch tape | 迈克尔 我需要你帮我找一些透明胶带 |
| [09:44] | while I apply pressure. | 我来给蜗牛按压 |
| [09:46] | Too much pressure. I’m gonna need that tape! | 太大力了 我需要胶带 |
| [09:51] | What?! | 厉害啊 |
| [09:52] | Jacksonville style, baby. | 看我的杰克逊维尔版 |
| [09:54] | Thirty million points. | 三百万分 |
| [09:56] | Nice one, homie. | 好球 哥们 |
| [09:58] | What are you guys doing? | 你们在做什么 |
| [09:59] | Well, I either know exactly what I’m doing | 我也不知道自己在干嘛 |
| [10:02] | and it’s something, or we’re doing nothing and I’m winning. | 不知道是个什么玩意儿 反正我一直在赢 |
| [10:05] | Congrats. | 恭喜 |
| [10:06] | Can I talk to you for a second? | 我能跟你说两句吗 |
| [10:08] | Okay, a few days ago, Michael showed me something. | 几天前 迈克尔给我看了点东西 |
| [10:13] | And I don’t know exactly how to say this, | 我不知道该怎么说 |
| [10:16] | but you and I are… | 但你和我是… |
| [10:21] | Bambadjan. | 巴姆酱 |
| [10:25] | You know, I never thought about it before | 我之前都没想过 |
| [10:26] | but yeah, we are kinda Bambadjan. | 但是的 我们是有点像巴姆酱 |
| [10:28] | No, you jetlagged doof. | 不 你个倒不过时差的傻瓜 |
| [10:30] | Bambadjan is the name of a demon from the Bad Place | 巴姆酱是”恶地”一个恶魔的名字 |
| [10:33] | who is somehow right over there. | 他不知怎地就在那边 |
| [10:40] | Come with me right now. | 立刻跟我走 |
| [10:42] | Okay, okay. | 好的 好的 |
| [10:43] | Hey guys, having fun? Cool, cool, cool. | 你们玩得开心吗 很好 很好 |
| [10:44] | So, we need to get out of here immediately | 我们必须马上离开这里 |
| [10:46] | because this bar is full of demons. | 因为这家酒吧满是恶魔 |
| [10:48] | Eleanor, just because these people are wearing | 埃莉诺 尽管这些人 |
| [10:49] | cheap leather and stone washed denim, | 穿着廉价皮革和石洗牛仔 |
| [10:51] | they’re still part of the Queen’s realm. | 他们仍是良民百姓 |
| [10:52] | Calling them demons is a bit much. | 骂他们是恶魔有点过分了吧 |
| [10:53] | No, no, no, no, actual demons. | 不不不 真正的恶魔 |
| [10:55] | Like, from the Bad Place. | 从”恶地”来的恶魔 |
| [10:56] | Okay, Chidi and I are going to go out the side door. | 我和奇迪从侧门出去 |
| [10:58] | You and Tahani go out the back. | 你和塔哈妮从后门出去 |
| [11:00] | Or we do this the old fashioned way. | 或者我们用老办法 烧死恶魔 |
| [11:02] | How did you make that so fast? | 你怎么这么快就点了火 |
| [11:03] | Bortle– | 炸毁吧 |
| [11:11] | Hello, idiots. | 蠢货们 你们好啊 |
| [11:12] | Surprised to see me? | 见到我很惊讶吧 |
| [11:15] | Right. | 对了 |
| [11:16] | You don’t remember. I’m Sean. | 你们忘记了 我是肖恩 |
| [11:18] | You are very scared of me. | 你们都很怕我 |
| [11:20] | Now, where’s Michael? | 迈克尔在哪里 |
| [11:23] | We are here to celebrate the life of | 我们在此赞颂蜗牛 |
| [11:25] | Martin Luther Gandhi Tyler Moore, the snail. | 马丁·路德·甘地·泰勒·摩尔的一生 |
| [11:28] | I named him/her that posthumously | 我在他或她死后给起了这个名字 |
| [11:31] | because I imagine him/her to be | 因为我认为他或她 |
| [11:33] | the greatest and most talented snail ever to have lived. | 是有史以来最伟大最天才的蜗牛 |
| [11:39] | Michael, would you care to say a few words? | 迈克尔 你愿意说几句吗 |
| [11:44] | You’re serious. Yes. | 你说真的啊 好的 |
| [11:46] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [11:47] | Martin was a lot of things. | 马丁有很多身份 |
| [11:50] | A snail, mostly. | 主要是蜗牛 |
| [11:52] | But also a friend. | 但也是朋友 |
| [11:54] | Martin taught us about life, about love, | 马丁教我们领会人生 领会爱 |
| [11:58] | and about the limits of scotch tape. | 以及透明胶也不是万能的 |
| [12:04] | Goodbye, Martin. | 再见了 马丁 |
| [12:05] | Happy, slimy trails, old friend. | 祝你走上快乐泥泞的小路 老朋友 |
| [12:08] | I’m sorry, I’ve got to leave right away. | 抱歉 我必须马上就走了 |
| [12:10] | I’ve decided to make a donation | 我决定以马丁的名义 |
| [12:12] | to the Canadian Mollusk Association in Martin’s honor. | 向加拿大软体动物协会捐款 |
| [12:16] | Their office is in Edmonton, | 协会办事处在埃德蒙顿 |
| [12:18] | so it will take me about three weeks to walk there and back. | 我步行去 来回差不多要三周 |
| [12:22] | Take care. Okay, look out little fellow. | 保重 小心点 小家伙 |
| [12:25] | Heads up. Here comes a shoe. | 抬头看看 有鞋过来了 |
| [12:28] | Say, Doug, look. | 道格 听我说 |
| [12:29] | Do you mind if we ask you just a few more questions? | 你介意我们再问几个问题吗 |
| [12:33] | What you’re doing here– how you’re living your life– | 你在这里的生活 你的活法 |
| [12:35] | just so wonderful. | 实在太棒了 |
| [12:37] | But can I maybe give you just a little advice? | 但我能给你一点小小的建议吗 |
| [12:39] | I know–I should donate more blood. | 我知道 我应该献更多血 |
| [12:41] | I’ll try, but the last time I went down there | 我会尽力 不过我上次去献血 |
| [12:44] | they said I was so anemic, they ended up giving me blood. | 他们说我贫血太严重 结果反而给我输了血 |
| [12:46] | No, look, look. | 不 听着 |
| [12:49] | I’ve been a reporter for a long time, Doug. | 我当记者很长时间了 道格 |
| [12:52] | Met all sorts of people. | 见过形形色色的人 |
| [12:54] | Traveled all over this crazy blue marble. | 足迹遍布这个疯狂的蔚蓝星球[地球] |
| [12:58] | Meeting regular folks. | 见各种普通人 |
| [13:01] | Every face tells a story, Doug. | 每张面孔都是不同的故事 道格 |
| [13:04] | Why, I’d say that those so-called regular folks | 要我说 那些所谓的普通人 |
| [13:07] | often turn out to be not so regular after all. | 常常到头来并不那么普通 |
| [13:10] | – Michael. – Sorry. | -迈克尔 -抱歉 |
| [13:11] | The point is, I have never met anyone so dedicated | 重点是 我从未见过一个像你一样 |
| [13:15] | to making other people and snails happy. | 致力于让别人及蜗牛幸福的人 |
| [13:20] | If what you’re saying is true about the afterlife, | 如果你说的”死后世界”是真的 |
| [13:23] | then you must have earned more than enough points by now. | 那你现在挣的分数肯定绰绰有余了 |
| [13:26] | So, loosen up, bud. Have a little fun. | 所以放松一下吧 朋友 找点乐趣 |
| [13:29] | Eat something besides lentils. | 吃点扁豆以外的食物 |
| [13:32] | Like radishes? | 你说萝卜吗 |
| [13:33] | No, no, Doug. Dammit. | 不 不 道格 该死的 |
| [13:34] | Just have ice cream or chicken parm. | 吃冰淇淋或者煎鸡扒 |
| [13:37] | Live your life. | 享受人生 |
| [13:38] | You know, travel. | 去旅行 |
| [13:40] | Drink regular water that wasn’t inside you. | 喝普通的水 不是你体内流出来的水 |
| [13:43] | Okay? Just relax. | 放松放松 |
| [13:46] | Thank you, Michael. But no. | 谢谢你 迈克尔 但是不行 |
| [13:50] | I can’t do any of those things. | 我不能做那些事 |
| [13:52] | Why not? | 为什么 |
| [13:53] | Because I can’t risk it. | 因为我不能冒险 |
| [13:55] | There’s an accountant out there somewhere | 有个”会计”不知在何处 |
| [13:58] | measuring the value of everything I do. | 衡量着我所做一切的价值 |
| [14:01] | What if I relax and do something that loses me | 万一我一放松 做了一些丢分的事 |
| [14:05] | just enough points to keep me out of the Good Place | 导致我不能进入”善地”了 |
| [14:08] | and I’m tortured for eternity? | 从此永久被折磨呢 |
| [14:10] | No, I have to make every moment count. | 不 我必须重视每时每刻 |
| [14:13] | It’s the only rational way to live. | 这是唯一理智的活法 |
| [14:16] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to walk to Edmonton | 请恕我失陪 我要步行去埃德蒙顿 |
| [14:19] | to give $85 to a snail charity. | 给蜗牛慈善捐85美元 |
| [14:24] | Why don’t you just take us to the Bad Place already, dude? | 为什么你不干脆点把我们带去”恶地” 老兄 |
| [14:26] | Because I want to see the look on Michael’s face | 因为我想看到迈克尔意识到自己失败时 |
| [14:28] | when he realizes he failed. | 他脸上的表情 |
| [14:29] | I love seeing the look on people’s faces. | 我喜欢看人们脸上那种表情 |
| [14:31] | It’s the best part of my job. | 那是我工作最有趣的部分 |
| [14:33] | Dude, Michael’s not coming here. | 老兄 迈克尔不会来这里 |
| [14:35] | Face it, man. | 面对事实吧 |
| [14:36] | You are outmatched, | 你被击败了 |
| [14:38] | because Michael and Janet are brilliant and savvy | 因为迈克尔和珍妮特聪明懂行 |
| [14:41] | and they’ve been ten steps ahead of you this whole time. | 他们一直领先你十步之遥 |
| [14:44] | We can sit here as long as you want. | 不管你让我们在这里坐多久 |
| [14:46] | But you will never, ever, ever, | 你永远永远也别想 |
| [14:49] | see Michael or Janet aga– | 见到迈克尔或珍妮特… |
| [14:52] | Yikes, that was rough. Total bust. | 天啊 太艰难了 一败涂地 |
| [14:55] | Doug is a complete disaster. | 道格完全就是灾难 |
| [14:57] | And I drank his piss. | 我还喝了他的尿 |
| [15:00] | Hello, Michael. | 你好 迈克尔 |
| [15:03] | See? See the look on his face? So great. | 看到了吗 他脸上的表情 太爽了 |
| [15:09] | Hello, Sean. Other demons. | 你好 肖恩 以及其他恶魔 |
| [15:12] | What are y’all doing down here? | 你们来这里做什么 |
| [15:13] | What do you think we’re doing, you hemorrhoid? | 你以为呢 你个肉中刺 |
| [15:15] | We’re ending this charade once and for all. | 我们要将这场游戏一次了结 |
| [15:17] | These four humans are the legal property of the Bad Place. | 这四个人类是”恶地”的合法财产 |
| [15:20] | That’s where we’re taking them. | 我们要将他们带去”恶地” |
| [15:23] | And you. | 还有你 |
| [15:24] | If you want them, you’re gonna have to go through me. | 你想要他们 得先过我这一关 |
| [15:26] | That’s the idea. | 这就是我的想法 |
| [15:28] | Well, it’s a bad idea. | 真是个糟糕的想法 |
| [15:30] | Michael. When will you ever– | 迈克尔 你什么时候才能… |
| [15:32] | Screw this. Let’s fight! | 去他的 来战吧 |
| [15:38] | Get somewhere safe, you guys. | 你们躲到安全的地方去 |
| [15:41] | Bad news. | 坏消息 |
| [15:42] | I’ve been going to the gym, a lot. | 我一直去健身房锻炼 |
| [15:45] | No. | 不 |
| [15:48] | What is happening? | 场面失控啊 |
| [15:51] | Let him go! | 放开他 |
| [15:58] | Let him go! | 放开他 |
| [15:59] | Twelve years of fencing. En garde. | 练了十二年击剑 格斗开始 |
| [16:04] | Obviously, I’d never do that in a competition. | 显然 我从来不在比赛中用这招 |
| [16:06] | That would be a three-tenths deduction. | 用了就要扣分了 |
| [16:11] | No, no, watch out. Watch out. | 不不 当心 当心 |
| [16:20] | I’ve never marbleized a Janet before. | 我还没把叫珍妮特的缩成弹珠过呢 |
| [16:24] | Jacksonville style, baby. Two thousand points! | 杰克逊维尔风格 宝贝 两千分 |
| [16:27] | Thanks, Jason. | 多谢 杰森 |
| [16:30] | Janet. Door. | 珍妮特 门 |
| [16:59] | Three hundred points– best score ever! | 三百分 最佳得分 |
| [17:05] | Is it just me or is Janet a straight-up hottie right now? | 只有我觉得珍妮特现在超级性感吗 |
| [17:08] | How are you this close to being dragged to Hell and still horny? | 你差一点就被拉进地狱了 怎么还这么饥渴 |
| [17:11] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [17:13] | And how did you know they were demons? | 你怎么知道他们是恶魔 |
| [17:15] | I can’t tell you that now! | 我不能现在告诉你 |
| [17:17] | Screw it. What am I waiting for? | 去他的 我还等什么呢 |
| [17:18] | We could die in the next 30 seconds. | 我们可能过30秒就要死了 |
| [17:20] | So, Michael showed me a memory of our time in the Good Place | 迈克尔给我看了一段我们在”善地”的记忆 |
| [17:24] | and you and I were, like, a thing. | 咱俩有一段 |
| [17:27] | – And– – Gotcha! | -还有… -逮到你们了 |
| [17:30] | Not like a casual, “Hey, I found two loose pills in the bottom of my tote, | 不是”我在包里翻出两粒散落的药丸 |
| [17:33] | let’s pop ’em and see what’s good,” kinda thing. | 我们吃了看看有什么效果吧”这种玩闹 |
| [17:35] | We were in love, and there’s a real possibility | 我们当时相爱了 而且很有可能 |
| [17:39] | that I’m in love with you again. | 我再次爱上了你 |
| [17:41] | Here. On this plane of existence. | 就在这里 在这个维度的世界 |
| [17:44] | Today. | 今天 |
| [17:45] | Now. | 现在 |
| [17:46] | In Canada during this brawl with demons. | 在加拿大与恶魔决斗期间 |
| [17:53] | Let’s get her to the door. | 把她拖到门那里 |
| [17:57] | No! No! | 不 不 |
| [18:01] | Cool. | 棒 |
| [18:02] | When I’m even partway through the door to the afterlife, | 虽然只是部分身体穿过”死后世界”的门 |
| [18:04] | my powers come back. | 我的超能力回来啦 |
| [18:06] | They do? | 真的吗 |
| [18:10] | They do. Thanks for asking. | 真的 多谢关心 |
| [18:17] | You’re coming with me. | 你们两个跟我走 |
| [18:20] | Hi, there. | 你好呀 |
| [18:36] | – We did it! – It was… | -我们成功啦 -其实是… |
| [18:38] | Well, no, yeah, no. Of course– | 对对 当然 |
| [18:39] | of course Janet did it. | 当然是珍妮特的功劳 |
| [18:40] | Yes, but I had the… | 没错 但我… |
| [18:44] | Thank you, Janet. | 谢谢你 珍妮特 |
| [18:48] | How did you get down here? | 你们怎么来到这里的 |
| [18:49] | We have the only key to the door to Earth. | 我们拿着通往地球的门唯一的钥匙 |
| [18:51] | – We built our own door. – That’s impossible. | -我们造了自己的门 -不可能 |
| [18:54] | That’s impossible. | “不可能” |
| [18:56] | You’re such a dweeb. | 你真是个蠢蛋 |
| [18:57] | Why can’t you leave us alone? | 你就不能放过我们吗 |
| [18:59] | You don’t have enough nostrils to stuff with wasps? | 你有很多人够你折磨了吧 |
| [19:01] | I don’t want just any wasp nostrils– | 我可不要随便什么人 |
| [19:03] | I want these wasp nostrils. | 我就要这几个 |
| [19:06] | You’re just delaying the inevitable, Michael. | 是祸躲不过 别挣扎了 迈克尔 |
| [19:07] | The Bad Place is going to get all of them eventually. | 最终”恶地”会抓到他们所有人 |
| [19:10] | These four, their loved ones, | 这四个人 他们爱的人 |
| [19:12] | even your precious pee-pee king, Doug Forcett. | 甚至你宝贵的喝尿王道格·福赛特 |
| [19:15] | Now, why would you think that? | 你为什么会这么想 |
| [19:17] | Just a hunch. | 直觉而已 |
| [19:18] | And do you wanna know what else I had a hunch about? | 你想知道我还有什么直觉吗 |
| [19:21] | No. | 不想 |
| [19:24] | I mean, why let the guy keep saying mean stuff, right? | 为什么任由他不停说刻薄话呢 对吧 |
| [19:28] | I thought Doug Forcett was the blueprint for leading a good life. | 你不是说道格·福赛特是善行人生的蓝图吗 |
| [19:31] | He seems pretty confident that Doug is heading to the Bad Place. | 他似乎相当肯定道格会进入”恶地” |
| [19:36] | For a while now, I have felt like there was something wrong with | 我近来一直都感觉积分系统 |
| [19:40] | how the point system was evaluating humans. | 评估人类的方式有点问题 |
| [19:43] | At first I thought it was that the system didn’t allow for the possibility | 起初我以为问题在于系统没有考虑到 |
| [19:47] | that people could improve. | 人们会改善这种可能性 |
| [19:49] | That’s why I convinced the judge to send you back to Earth | 所以我说服法官送你们回到人间 |
| [19:52] | so you can confront the ways you were living. | 让你们能正视你们生前的活法 |
| [19:54] | But now, I’m worried that the problems with the system | 但现在 我担心系统的问题 |
| [19:58] | might be much more serious. | 可能要严重得多 |
| [20:00] | We need to gather some real evidence. | 我们需要收集一些切实的证据 |
| [20:04] | Sorry, no, no, Michael. | 不 不 迈克尔 |
| [20:05] | You are confused. | 你糊涂了 |
| [20:07] | Evidence isn’t a good thing that you want. | 证据不是什么好事 |
| [20:10] | It’s a bad thing that you have to destroy. | 证据是坏事 必须摧毁 |
| [20:13] | Or you go to jail. | 不然就得进监狱 |
| [20:15] | Jason, quick, I, I need that coaster over there behind the pillar. | 杰森 快 我需要柱子后面那个杯垫 |
| [20:19] | You got it, boss. | 遵命 老大 |
| [20:21] | I, I just needed a 30-second break. | 我只是想让他消停一会儿 |
| [20:23] | Yeah. | 我们懂 |
| [20:24] | What sort of evidence is this and how do we get it? | 什么证据 我们怎么找到证据 |
| [20:26] | Janet and I have to go right to the source of the points themselves– | 我和珍妮特必须去到所有积分的源头 |
| [20:30] | the Accountant’s office. | “会计处” |
| [20:31] | The four of you stay here at Doug Forcett’s house until I get back. | 你们四个待在道格·福赛特家等我回来 |
| [20:35] | You are gonna need to feed all the dogs and the wolves | 你们得给所有狗和狼喂食 |
| [20:38] | and if a teenager shows up on a dirt bike | 如果有个骑着自行车的少年出现 |
| [20:40] | just do as he says. He’s very scary. | 照他说的做 他很可怕 |
| [20:43] | Michael, Michael, Michael. | 迈克尔 迈克尔 |
| [20:45] | I forgot what you asked me to get. | 我忘了你让我拿什么了 |
| [20:47] | That’s okay, bud. Thanks anyway. | 没事的 还是要谢谢你 |
| [20:49] | Look, we won’t be long and you guys should be safe here. | 我们不会离开很久 你们在这里应该很安全 |
| [20:53] | Actually, scratch that. | 忘了这话吧 |
| [20:54] | We are all screwed bacause a bunch more demons just showed up. | 我们都要完蛋了 又一群恶魔来了 |
| [20:57] | There’s too many of them. What do we do? | 他们人数太多 我们该怎么办 |
| [20:59] | I have an idea. | 我有个主意 |
| [21:00] | I think I can take you into my void. | 我想我可以带你们进入我的虚空之地 |
| [21:02] | Cool. That sounds fun. Let’s go into a void. | 酷 听起来很有趣 我们去虚空之地吧 |
| [21:04] | OK, let’s go. | 好的 我们走 |
| [21:06] | But just to be clear, | 但我要先说一下 |
| [21:07] | I don’t know if you’ll survive in my void, | 我不确定你们去我的虚空之地能活下来 |
| [21:09] | but either way all of you will definitely die on Earth when I do this. | 但不管怎样 我这么做你们在地球死定了 |
| [21:12] | So look around and say goodbye. | 再看一眼地球 道个别吧 |
| [21:13] | Goodbye, Earth. | 再见了 地球 |
| [21:14] | Wait. Did you just say we’re gonna die? | 等等 你刚是说我们会死吗 |