| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | That’s why I can’t do it. It’s just too scary. | 所以我才做不来 太恐怖了 |
| [00:05] | No! | 我怕 |
| [00:06] | Hello? | 有人吗 |
| [00:08] | Okay, listen. | 听着 |
| [00:09] | There’s a guy out there who’s awake | 外面有个人醒了 |
| [00:11] | and doesn’t know what’s happening, okay? | 对现状还一头雾水 |
| [00:13] | You gotta pull it together. | 你得振作起来 |
| [00:14] | You’ve got this. | 你能行 |
| [00:15] | No, I absolutely do not. | 我不行啊 |
| [00:18] | I’m not meant for any of this, Eleanor. | 愿望太沉重 臣妾做不到啊 |
| [00:21] | I’m just middle management! | 我就是个中层人员 |
| [00:23] | What if I fail? | 我失败怎么办 |
| [00:24] | It’ll be like the failure to end all failures. | 那就真是满盘皆输了 |
| [00:26] | It’ll be… an epic fail. | 狼狈不堪 一败涂地 |
| [00:30] | Is my tie getting tighter, | 我的领带收紧了吗 |
| [00:32] | or is my neck getting fatter somehow?? | 还是我的脖子突然变粗了 |
| [00:35] | This is what we do. | 我们这么办 |
| [00:36] | We tell the judge we have to cancel the experiment | 我们就跟法官说 我们得取消这场实验 |
| [00:38] | because I have a fat neck. | 因为我的脖子长肉了 |
| [00:39] | She’ll understand. | 她能体谅 |
| [00:40] | Anyone? | 有人吗 |
| [00:41] | Okay, Michael. Listen. | 迈克尔 听着 |
| [00:43] | You can do this. | 你能行 |
| [00:43] | You are Michael. | 你是迈克尔 |
| [00:46] | You are smart and capable. | 你足智多谋 博学多才 |
| [00:48] | And you’re a fearless leader. | 运筹帷幄之中 决胜千里之外 |
| [00:49] | And you are gonna take a deep breath, | 你要深呼吸一下 |
| [00:51] | stand up, open that door and say, | 然后起身去开门 说 |
| [00:54] | “Hi, John. I’m Michael. | “你好 约翰 我是迈克尔 |
| [00:55] | I’m the Architect. Come on in.” | 我就是’建筑师’ 请进” |
| [00:58] | Got it? | 能行吧 |
| [01:03] | Hi, John. I’m Eleanor. | 你好 约翰 我是埃莉诺 |
| [01:05] | I’m the Architect. Come on in. | 我是”建筑师” 请进 |
| [01:16] | So, let me sum this up for you, John. | 我来给你概括一下 约翰 |
| [01:21] | – Ya dead. – What? | -你挂了 -啥 |
| [01:22] | But don’t worry, it’s okay that you’re dead, | 但别慌 死也没啥大不了 |
| [01:24] | because you, John Wheaton, | 因为你 约翰·惠顿 |
| [01:27] | are in the Good Place. | 进入”善地”了 |
| [01:30] | You’re here because of all the incredible things you did on Earth, | 你生前在人间积德行善 于是死后来这里了 |
| [01:34] | which are all right in front of me, | 这些善行详情就在我眼前 |
| [01:35] | so let me just check your file. | 让我来瞅一眼吧 |
| [01:40] | Good. Yes. | 很好 不错 |
| [01:42] | That’s what I thought. | 如我所想 |
| [01:43] | Wow, John, what a life you’ve led. | 天 约翰 你这一生真精彩啊 |
| [01:46] | Sorry, did I introduce Michael? | 不好意思 我还没介绍迈克尔吧 |
| [01:49] | He’s my assistant. | 他是我的助理 |
| [01:52] | He just transferred over here from Dog heaven, | 他刚从”狗狗天堂”调过来 |
| [01:55] | so, you know, he’s still getting used to people. | 人类天堂 新的坏境 他需要适应 |
| [01:58] | What do you say I show you around the neighborhood? | 不如我带你出去转一圈吧 |
| [02:01] | So are you, like, an angel or something? | 你是天使之类的存在吗 |
| [02:04] | John, aren’t you sweet? Enough about me. | 约翰 你嘴真甜 别说我了 |
| [02:06] | So, everything you see is here for you to enjoy for eternity, | 这里的一切都供你永生享用 |
| [02:13] | You and your 321 neighbors. | 为你和321位邻居精心打造 |
| [02:17] | Why is it 322 people? | 为什么是322个人呀 |
| [02:20] | Is that number significant somehow? | 这个数字有什么特别意义吗 |
| [02:22] | Well– Janet? | 这个… 珍妮特 |
| [02:24] | Hi, there. | 你好 |
| [02:25] | It’s me, Eleanor, | 是我 埃莉诺 |
| [02:26] | the Architect of the neighborhood. | 我是”善地”的”建筑师” |
| [02:28] | Yep, that is certainly information that I already knew. | 对 这必须是我早就知道的事 |
| [02:32] | Janet is a walking database of all the knowledge in the universe, | 珍妮特就是行走的百科全书 无所不知 |
| [02:36] | and since you, John, | 而你 约翰 |
| [02:37] | seem to like asking a relentless number of questions, go ahead. | 既然这么喜欢问问题 来吧 |
| [02:40] | Ask her anything. | 想问啥就问啥 |
| [02:41] | Okay, what’s the craziest secret celebrity hook up? | 名人中 哪两个秘密搞过 最让人大跌眼镜 |
| [02:44] | Drake and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, | “公鸭”和鲁斯·巴德·金斯伯格 |
| [02:46] | on and off for years. | 分分合合很多年 |
| [02:48] | Okay, wow. | 惊掉我下巴啊 |
| [02:50] | Wait, so you really do know everything? | 你是真无所不知啊 |
| [02:52] | Kinda seems like she should be running the neighborhood. | 感觉”善地”该由她来管啊 |
| [02:55] | Yes, John, in retrospect, | 没错 约翰 现在想来 |
| [02:56] | that does seem like a much better idea. | 选她才更妥当 |
| [02:58] | Janet, why don’t you take John inside to get some froyo? | 珍妮特 你带约翰进去吃点酸奶冰淇淋吧 |
| [03:03] | We’ll catch up with you later. | 我们稍后再聊 |
| [03:05] | Get over here now, dummy. | 你给我过来 怂包 |
| [03:06] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [03:07] | Guys, guys, guys. | 小伙伴们 |
| [03:10] | Michael looks like me. That’s bad. | 迈克尔像是复制了我的表情 这可不妙 |
| [03:12] | Fun little update. | 给大家补一下最新剧情 |
| [03:13] | Michael was feeling a bit overwhelmed. | 迈克尔崩溃了 |
| [03:15] | So, new plan. I’m now the Architect. | 新对策 改由我来当”建筑师”了 |
| [03:19] | And stop making those faces because I already told John, | 别一脸嫌弃了 我已经告诉约翰了 |
| [03:21] | and there’s no going back now. | 这事覆水难收了 |
| [03:23] | Well, if I could pick anyone to impersonate an immortal deity, | 如果让我选一个人假扮天神 |
| [03:27] | well, it would be me, | 我肯定选自己 |
| [03:29] | but if it couldn’t be me, it’d be you. | 但如果不是我来演 那就是你了 |
| [03:31] | Yeah, you’re gonna rock this. | 对 你就是戏精本精 |
| [03:32] | You’re like the Blake Bortles of whatever’s going on right now. | 你这演技惊艳时光 扰乱年华 跟我男神一样牛 |
| [03:35] | – I’m not really sure. – Thanks, guys. | -但我看不懂现在演啥 -过奖了 |
| [03:37] | I think I can be the Architect. | 我应该能胜任”建筑师”一职 |
| [03:38] | I saw how Michael ran the neighborhood in the memories he showed me | 我在迈克尔的回放中 见过他怎么打理”善地” |
| [03:41] | and there was, like, a four-year period | 而且 曾经有四年 |
| [03:43] | where Brad Pitt really wanted everyone to know how into Architecture he was, | 布拉德·皮特超级想让全世界都知道他的建筑师之梦 |
| [03:47] | and I read a lot of those interviews, | 我看很多他这种采访 |
| [03:48] | so I think that might help me. | 应该能帮上忙 |
| [03:49] | And before long, | 而且很快 |
| [03:51] | Michael will be back to his old self | 迈克尔就会恢复常态 |
| [03:52] | and he can step in and take over, right? | 继续接手这份工作了 对吧 |
| [03:55] | Look at the four of you all together. | 瞧瞧你们四个其乐融融的样子 |
| [03:58] | I love you so much. | 我好爱你们 |
| [04:01] | Okay, okay. That’s okay. | 没事 没事 这都不是事 |
| [04:03] | Chidi, have Janet translate the gibberish of these files. | 奇迪 让珍妮特翻译一下这些”天书” |
| [04:07] | Tahani, continue working on the welcome party. | 塔哈妮 继续准备”迎新会” |
| [04:09] | Yes, the party. | 对 迎新晚宴 |
| [04:10] | So, for the napkins, | 餐巾纸呢 |
| [04:11] | I would normally do a queen’s tuck, | 我一般选皇后卷式 |
| [04:12] | but I was thinking of shaking things up a bit with a Yorkshire butterfly. | 但我想换个花样 换成约克郡蝴蝶式 |
| [04:15] | And this could not matter less. Very sorry. | 这种事不重要 我太没眼力见儿了 |
| [04:18] | Good-bye. | 再见 |
| [04:21] | – How’s it going? – This is overwhelming. | -怎么样 -信息量太大了 |
| [04:23] | It’s every thought and decision and action from this guy’s entire life. | 这里包含了这个人一生的每一个决定和想法 |
| [04:25] | Like, this whole box is just one trip to Wendy’s. | 这一盒子还只是去温迪家一趟的想法 |
| [04:29] | Well, keep reading. | 继续看吧 |
| [04:30] | According to Michael, | 据迈克尔所说 |
| [04:31] | I usually asked for your help by, like, day two, | 我一般到第二天就会找你求助 |
| [04:33] | so you need to be ready. | 所以你得做好准备 |
| [04:35] | You know what? At first, I was kinda nervous. | 一开始吧 我还有点心慌 |
| [04:38] | But so far, I think I’m doing okay. | 但目前 我觉得我表现不错 |
| [04:40] | It’s like I became such a good person | 就像是我一身正气满溢 |
| [04:42] | I almost forgot I’m a world-class liar, baby. | 都忘了自己是个大骗子了 |
| [04:46] | Very fun thing to hear from your girlfriend. | 该配合你演出的我 此时有些蒙圈 |
| [04:49] | You’re doing great, | 你表现很棒 |
| [04:50] | and I have to admit, you being the Architect is kinda hot. | 我得承认 你当”建筑师” 有点撩人啊 |
| [04:54] | It’s kinda like I’m secretly dating my boss– | 我就像是偷偷跟上司交往一样 |
| [04:57] | not that I ever would have done that. | 但我绝不是做这种事的人 |
| [04:58] | Yeah, no, me neither. | 我也是 |
| [05:00] | So, same. Same. | 姐也绝不是这种人 |
| [05:02] | All right, I gotta get ready for the next person. | 我得去迎接下一个人 |
| [05:04] | Well then, I will say good-bye to you platonically | 那我就来个”普通朋友”式道别 |
| [05:07] | the same way a resident would say good-bye to an Architect. | 就像这里的正常居民跟”建筑师”说再见一样 |
| [05:12] | Eleanor, what if John had seen us? | 埃莉诺 约翰看见我们怎么办 |
| [05:14] | I’m scared, and yet somehow turned on? | 我很心慌 然而还有点小性奋呢 |
| [05:16] | Scared is the best way to be horny. | 心慌就会撩起欲火 |
| [05:19] | Now who’s doing the teaching? | 不懂了吧 姐教你 |
| [05:21] | Hey, now, all right. | 好吧 你厉害 |
| [05:22] | A little higher. Thank you. | 再高一点 谢谢 |
| [05:25] | Tahani Al-Jamil. | 塔哈妮·阿贾米尔 |
| [05:26] | Yes? Do I know you? | 是我 我们认识吗 |
| [05:28] | No, no, but I know you. | 不认识 但我知道你 |
| [05:30] | I used to write about you all the time on my blog. | 我以前总在博客上发关于你的博文 |
| [05:33] | “The Gossip Toilet.” | “八卦茅厕” |
| [05:34] | We were the ones that invented the Olsen twins countdown clock for when they became legal. | 我们就是发明了奥尔森姐妹成年倒计时表的人 |
| [05:37] | That was our blog. That was us. | 就是我们的博客 我们干的 |
| [05:40] | My. You were quite mean to me. | 天呐 你以前对我吐槽挺狠啊 |
| [05:43] | No. I wouldn’t call it mean, okay? | 不 那才不是吐槽呢 |
| [05:44] | My targets were rich and high status | 我们的目标是上流社会的豪门 |
| [05:46] | and I was just doing the important work of telling truth to power. | 我只是当起”名流圈纪检委” 向权贵讲真话 |
| [05:49] | So, wait, what about you, huh? | 你是什么情况啊 |
| [05:51] | You died in Canada? | 你死在加拿大啊 |
| [05:53] | That is so weird and embarrassing. | 太奇葩了 丢脸丢到姥姥家了 |
| [05:55] | That’s like the nip slip of dying… | 就像死亡版”不小心走光” |
| [05:57] | Okay, listen. We’re gonna catch up later. | 好了 我们稍后再叙吧 |
| [05:59] | I can’t wait to hear all about your new nose. | 我等不及听你聊新鼻子的事了 |
| [06:01] | No. I didn’t get a nose job. | 不 我没整过鼻子 |
| [06:04] | I know, I just figured we’re in heaven | 我知道 但既然上天堂了 |
| [06:05] | so we might as well fix all of our flaws, right? | 那不如趁这个机会修整一下缺陷 对吧 |
| [06:07] | Like, look at me. | 比如我吧 |
| [06:08] | Nothing is staying on this face. | 哥绝对要换张脸 |
| [06:11] | Gosh. | 天呐 |
| [06:12] | What are the odds that you and I would end up spending eternity together? | 一定是特别的缘分 我们才会在死后相聚啊 |
| [06:20] | Eleanor, Michael, it is I, Tahani. | 埃莉诺 迈克尔 吾乃塔哈妮 |
| [06:23] | Yeah, we know, babe. | 我们都认识你 亲 |
| [06:24] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [06:25] | I know John– rather, he knows me. | 我认识约翰 应该说他认识我 |
| [06:27] | He’s a gossip columnist who tortured me on Earth. | 他生前是个八卦营销号 经常黑我 |
| [06:31] | He made it seem like I was shallow, | 他说我没内涵 |
| [06:33] | plagued with jealousy, | 还喜欢羡慕嫉妒恨 |
| [06:35] | and prone to fits of melodrama. | 还各种爱作死 |
| [06:39] | – What are you saying? – Don’t you see? | -啥意思 -你还没明白吗 |
| [06:41] | The Bad Place didn’t pick the worst people. | “恶地”没有选什么大恶人 |
| [06:44] | They picked the people who would be the worst for us. | 他们选了让我们抓狂的人 |
| [06:49] | Of course. How did I not anticipate this? | 想到了 我怎么没预料到这点 |
| [06:52] | Shawn didn’t just choose a bunch of serial killers. | 肖恩没选什么连环杀手 |
| [06:54] | He chose your tormenters or arch rivals. | 他选了令你们抓狂的人 你们的宿敌 |
| [06:57] | Or exes. | 以及前任 |
| [07:00] | Those motherforkers. | 这些喵的混蛋 |
| [07:08] | This is insane and obviously against the rules. | 这太没节操了 也显然不合规矩 |
| [07:11] | Yeah, too bad it’s not, dill hole. | 很可惜 并没违规哦 傻缺 |
| [07:13] | She’ll remember them. | 她会记得他们 |
| [07:14] | It’s going to destroy the integrity of the experiment, Your Honor. | 这会毁了实验的公正性 法官阁下 |
| [07:18] | Plus, now I have to live next to a man | 另外 我现在还要和一个 |
| [07:20] | who once lied and said I wasn’t at Diddy’s White Party. | 曾经污蔑我没有去吹牛老爹的”白色派对” |
| [07:25] | I was there, Eleanor. | 我去了 埃莉诺 |
| [07:26] | I was. You must believe me. | 我真去了 你得信我啊 |
| [07:29] | And how are we gonna make Simone better when she’s asleep the whole time? | 而且西蒙妮这样一直睡着 我们怎么提升她啊 |
| [07:32] | Hello? | 都没反应 |
| [07:34] | We can’t work with this. | 这让人怎么操作 |
| [07:35] | Your Honor, you never stipulated that | 法官阁下 你从没规定 |
| [07:37] | we couldn’t choose people who had some sort of connection to them. | 我们不能选跟他们有关联的人 |
| [07:39] | And Simone just happened to die on Earth, | 而西蒙妮这么巧就死了 |
| [07:41] | which was really, really cool… | 这事不能再妙了 |
| [07:44] | You wanna know how it happened, Chidi? | 你想知道她怎么死的吗 奇迪 |
| [07:46] | It’s hilarious. | 超级搞笑 |
| [07:47] | No! | 不想知道 |
| [07:48] | Okay, here’s my ruling. | 好了 我的判决如下 |
| [07:49] | It’s not against the rules for the four new humans | “新版四人组”和”初代四人组”有人际联系 |
| [07:52] | to have connections to the original four. | 这不违反规则 |
| [07:54] | – Simone and John can stay. – Booyah. | -西蒙妮和约翰可以留下 -傻眼了吧 |
| [07:56] | But it was kind of a dirty trick, | 但这招有点阴 |
| [07:59] | so Michael can erase Simone’s memory to the point before she met any of you. | 所以西蒙妮跟你们见面前 迈克尔可以抹去她的记忆 |
| [08:04] | Fine. Have fun with your ex, Chidi. | 行 祝你跟前任相处愉快 奇迪 |
| [08:07] | What’s that thing you humans say when you’re playing chess | 人类下国际象棋时 将对方逼至绝境 |
| [08:10] | and you trap your opponent into an inescapable position? | 常说的那句话是什么来着 |
| [08:13] | Right. Eat butt, you ding dongs. | 想起来了 吃我一屁 傻叉 |
| [08:17] | Okay, okay. Focus, team. | 好了 打起精神 队友们 |
| [08:20] | Michael and I will prep for Simone. | 我和迈克尔给西蒙妮做好准备 |
| [08:21] | Tahani, keep an eye on John. | 塔哈妮 看好约翰 |
| [08:23] | Jason, talk to no one. Go nowhere. Do nothing. | 杰森 谁也别理 哪也别去 老实待着 |
| [08:25] | I won’t let you down. | 我一定不负重托 |
| [08:26] | Okay, go, guys. | 动起来吧 小伙伴 |
| [08:28] | – Are you okay? – I– no. | -你还好吧 -我不好 |
| [08:30] | Very obviously, no. | 这必须不好啊 |
| [08:32] | Look, you could spend 100 years in this neighborhood | 你可以在这里待上一百年 |
| [08:35] | before you even run into Simone. | 都不碰上西蒙妮 |
| [08:37] | It’ll be easy to avoid her. | 避开她很容易 |
| [08:38] | No, no, but we don’t want me to avoid her. | 不 避开她有悖我们的初衷 |
| [08:42] | The whole plan is that I’m supposed to help them learn ethics so they can improve. | 我们的目的就是 我教他们道德学 引他们向善 |
| [08:46] | Okay, okay. We can deal with that later. | 好好 这事稍后再议 |
| [08:48] | Let’s just take this step by step. | 我们先一步一步来 |
| [08:50] | Step one, you leave | 第一步 你先走 |
| [08:51] | so I can snap your amnesiac ex-girlfriend out of her post-death coma | 我可以将你前女友从死后昏迷状态中唤醒 |
| [08:54] | and welcome her into fake heaven. | 欢迎她来到假天堂 |
| [08:56] | That’s step one? | 这是第一步吗 |
| [09:00] | – Janet? – Hi, there. | -珍妮特 -你好 |
| [09:02] | Give me your opinion. Is this a savage insult? | 说说看 你觉得这算无情吐槽吗 |
| [09:05] | “Nice shirt. Who designed it? | “衬衫不错 设计师是谁 |
| [09:07] | Marc Fake-obs?” | 马克·假克布吗” |
| [09:09] | For people in your social class, | 对你们这类人而言 |
| [09:10] | that is 84% savage. | 无情程度是84% |
| [09:12] | Although there is a 29% chance he responds, | 但他有29%的几率会作出如下反应 |
| [09:15] | “Honey,” in a tone so devastating | 捂着胸口控诉 “扎心了 老铁” |
| [09:18] | you will think of it every day for the rest of time. | 你会就此愧疚难安 |
| [09:20] | I like those odds. I’ll go lay it on him now. | 有意思 我要去吐槽他 |
| [09:25] | No. | 不 |
| [09:26] | That’s exactly what the Bad Place wants me to do. | 这样就如了”恶地”的意 |
| [09:29] | They sent John here to drag me back into my old patterns– | 他们派约翰来 就是想让我重蹈覆辙 |
| [09:32] | insecurity, obsession with social status. | 焦虑不安 偶像包袱重 |
| [09:36] | I shan’t let it happen. | 我绝不能如了他们的意 |
| [09:39] | John, I’m happy you’re here with me. | 约翰 你能来这儿真好 |
| [09:41] | This is going to be good for both of us, | 我们俩都会从中受益 |
| [09:44] | and I look forward to putting the past behind us | 我愿意放下过去的成见 |
| [09:46] | and becoming your friend. | 跟你做朋友 |
| [09:48] | My God. You are so cute. | 天呐 你真蠢萌 |
| [09:50] | You are so cute, it’s gross. You disgust me. | 一把年纪了还装嫩 恶心得我想吐 |
| [09:52] | I love you. Get out of here. | 我爱你 快滚开 |
| [09:53] | I never want to see you again. I love you so much. | 我再也不想看到你 我好爱你喔 |
| [10:02] | Hi, Simone. I’m Eleanor. | 你好 西蒙妮 我是埃莉诺 |
| [10:04] | Come on in. | 请进 |
| [10:07] | So, as a neuroscientist, | 作为一名神经科学家 |
| [10:08] | are you surprised there’s an afterlife? | 你得知”死后世界”的存在会觉得惊讶吗 |
| [10:10] | I am, frankly. | 其实还挺惊讶的 |
| [10:11] | I mean, there’s a decent chance | 有一种合理的猜测 |
| [10:13] | this entire thing is just a complex electrochemical reaction | 这一切只是一种复杂的电化反应 |
| [10:15] | caused by my synapses randomly firing in the millisecond after my death. | 因为我离世一毫秒后 脑神经突触产生了随机冲动 |
| [10:20] | But this fro-yo is amazing, | 但这个酸奶冰淇淋美味得让人想犯罪 |
| [10:22] | so I’m just gonna roll with it. | 所以我就配合一下你们的演出吧 |
| [10:23] | What flavor did you get? | 你的冰淇淋是什么口味 |
| [10:24] | I got a twist– | 混合味 |
| [10:25] | half strawberry, | 一半是草莓味 |
| [10:26] | half male-coworker-gets-calledout-for-stealing-your-ideas. | 一半是”男同事窃取你的灵感被炒鱿鱼”味 |
| [10:29] | Those go great together. | 简直是完美拍档啊 |
| [10:33] | All the other residents seem so nice. | 其他居民似乎都很纯良 |
| [10:35] | The residents are great, yes. | 居民们确实都是大好人 |
| [10:38] | But, don’t feel like you need to get to know all of them right away. | 但你不用勉强自己迅速把人认全 |
| [10:42] | Maybe just talk to Michael and me for the first– | 先接触我和迈克尔就好了… |
| [10:46] | I dunno, 6,000 years or so. | 前六千年 先熟悉我们俩就行 |
| [10:48] | Anyway, you just chill, baby girl. | 总之 纵情享乐吧 妹子 |
| [10:50] | We’ll check in with you later. | 我们俩稍后再来看你 |
| [10:56] | That went pretty well, right? | 进展很顺利啊 |
| [10:58] | I’ve always been good at pretending I’ve never met people before. | 我”假装陌生人”的演技都能赢一座小金人了 |
| [11:01] | It’s kinda my go-to power move. | 戏精附体是我的拿手好戏啊 |
| [11:03] | I think this new dynamic may actually be good. | 互换身份似乎歪打正着了 |
| [11:06] | You know, it gives me more time to observe and plan. | 这样我就有大把时间观察情况 制定计划 |
| [11:09] | You’ll be the face of the operation | 你是门面担当 |
| [11:11] | and I’ll be the mastermind behind the scenes, | 而我是智力担当 |
| [11:14] | like Cyrano de Bergerac. | 就像”大鼻子情圣”一样 |
| [11:17] | Like, Kris Jenner. | 就像克丽丝·詹娜一样 |
| [11:20] | Totally. | 精辟 |
| [11:21] | Yeah, I think this is gonna be okay. | 说得对 我看行 |
| [11:22] | – Yeah. – No, it won’t. | -嗯 -不 不行 |
| [11:25] | It won’t be okay, | 行不通 |
| [11:26] | which is why you need to erase my memory and reboot me. | 所以 你得消除我的记忆 让我重启 |
| [11:33] | What are you talking about? No forking way. | 你说什么呢 别他喵地犯傻 |
| [11:36] | – We’re not rebooting you. – Shawn was right. | -我们才不会重启你 -肖恩说得对 |
| [11:38] | Bringing Simone to this neighborhood, it’s checkmate. | 把西蒙妮带来 我们真被将了一军 |
| [11:41] | It completely neutralizes me. | 我简直手足无措了 |
| [11:43] | I’ll be too freaked out to help the new residents. | 我自顾不暇 哪还能帮助新人 |
| [11:46] | The only way to outflank Shawn | 要反击肖恩 为今之计 |
| [11:48] | is to make it so I don’t remember Simone. | 只能消除我对西蒙妮的记忆 |
| [11:50] | So, you have to run into your ex occasionally. | 不就和前任低头不见抬头见吗 |
| [11:52] | That’s a part of life, man. | 生活就是充满恶趣味啊 |
| [11:54] | I used to run into my exes all the time at the mall, | 我之前经常在超市碰见我前任 |
| [11:56] | at the dentist office, | 在牙医诊所也碰到过 |
| [11:57] | when I drunk texted them and told them to come over. | 我有时还醉酒后 发短信跟他们约炮呢 |
| [12:00] | Look, Simone is really perceptive. | 西蒙妮很敏锐 |
| [12:02] | I might slip up and reveal something. | 我可能会不小心泄密 |
| [12:04] | Look, this isn’t just about me feeling awkward around my ex. | 不仅是因为我见到前任会不自在 |
| [12:06] | It’s more about, if I am awkward around my ex, | 还是因为 如果我见到前任不自在 |
| [12:09] | everyone gets tortured forever. | 大家都会跟着永世受折磨 |
| [12:13] | No, there has to be another way. | 不 肯定有别的办法 |
| [12:15] | I’ve got it. | 我想到了 |
| [12:16] | Just remove Simone from Chidi’s memory and keep everything else. | 让奇迪忘掉西蒙妮就好了 保留剩下的记忆 |
| [12:20] | – Boom. – It doesn’t work that way. | -机智吧 -这样行不通 |
| [12:22] | You all spent a lot of time together, | 你们三个共同相处了很久 |
| [12:24] | so his memories of you and her are all swirled together. | 所以 他对你和西蒙妮的记忆相互交织 |
| [12:27] | But let’s keep thinking. | 再想别的办法吧 |
| [12:28] | Guys, I’ve thought about this from every angle. | 两位 我已经考虑过所有可行办法了 |
| [12:32] | If we don’t wipe my memory, | 如果不彻底消除我的记忆 |
| [12:34] | I will, one way or the other, ruin the experiment. | 我肯定会毁掉这次实验 |
| [12:38] | – You know I’m right. – No. No, man. | -你们清楚 我说的是实话 -不 不行 |
| [12:40] | It can’t be, | 不能这样 |
| [12:41] | because if we erase your memory all the way back to before you met Simone, | 如果消除你遇到西蒙妮后的记忆 |
| [12:45] | that includes Australia and the study | 你就会忘记我们在澳大利亚的相遇和学习小组 |
| [12:47] | and the Soul Squad and everything. | 忘记”灵魂小队” 忘记一切 |
| [12:49] | – That would be erasing– – Us. | -那样也会忘记… -我们的感情 |
| [12:53] | I know. | 我清楚 |
| [12:57] | So, the plan is to erase Chidi’s memory all the way back to | 我们打算消除奇迪的记忆 |
| [13:01] | when the air conditioner fell on his head in his original timeline. | 让他忘记生前差点被空调砸死后的所有事情 |
| [13:04] | The judge has given us until tomorrow morning | 法官限我们明早前完成 |
| [13:06] | before we have to bring in the other two subjects. | 之后就会放另外两个新人进入 |
| [13:08] | Tahani, the welcome party will be tomorrow night. | 塔哈妮 欢迎派对明晚举行 |
| [13:11] | Next time you see me, it’ll be like I’m a new resident. | 下次见面 我就是个萌新了 |
| [13:15] | I won’t know any of you. | 我就不认识你们了 |
| [13:17] | So, will you remember that time in Australia | 那你会记得我们在澳大利亚 |
| [13:20] | when we stayed up late and we ate pizza together? | 曾经一起熬夜吃披萨吗 |
| [13:23] | No, buddy, I won’t. | 不 不会记得 |
| [13:24] | Will you remember when we ordered the pizza? | 你会记得我们点过披萨吗 |
| [13:28] | No. | 不 |
| [13:29] | Will you remember pizza? | 你会记得披萨吗 |
| [13:32] | Will I remember what pizza… is? | 我会记得披萨是什么吗 |
| [13:37] | Yeah. I’ll still know what pizza is. | 当然 我还是知道披萨的 |
| [13:40] | Okay, so not a total loss. | 好 也不算很亏 |
| [13:41] | But this is awful. | 但这也太悲情了 |
| [13:43] | You two won’t be together anymore. | 你们俩就不能在一起了 |
| [13:45] | I haven’t met a more perfect couple | 你们是我见过最模范的情侣了 |
| [13:46] | since I set up Drake with Ruth Bader Ginsburg. | 我当年可是撮合了”公鸭”和金斯伯格大法官呢 |
| [13:48] | Yes, we will no longer be together. | 对 我们会被拆散 |
| [13:52] | The Bad Place has pulled off | “恶地”这一招 |
| [13:53] | the most intricate cork blork of all time. | 真是阴狠歹毒 禽兽不如 |
| [13:57] | It’s a nice touch that the cursing filter maintains the rhyme. | “脏话过滤器”把脏话过滤成了艺术 |
| [14:00] | I appreciate that attention to detail. | 细节点赞 |
| [14:02] | Hang on. I’m not giving up yet. | 等等 我还不死心 |
| [14:04] | Let’s have an old-fashioned brainstorming session. | 我们来一场传统的头脑风暴吧 |
| [14:07] | We’ll get Chinese food, | 一边吃中餐 |
| [14:09] | and we’ll throw pencils and stick them in the ceiling, | 一边往天花板上插铅笔 |
| [14:11] | and someone will say something innocuous | 大家随口说说自己的点子 |
| [14:13] | and I’ll say, “Wait. Say that again.” | 电光火石之间 我突然有了灵感 |
| [14:16] | Michael, if there was another choice, we’d choose it. | 迈克尔 如果有别的选择 我们也不会走这一步 |
| [14:19] | Believe me. | 信我吧 |
| [14:20] | You like learning about humans, right? | 你喜欢研究人类吧 |
| [14:22] | This is a classic human situation. | 这就是人类经常面临的两难处境 |
| [14:25] | Your friends are going through something awful, | 你的朋友们深陷泥潭 |
| [14:27] | and there is nothing you can do about it. | 而你却无能为力 |
| [14:30] | Anyway, let’s just rip the Band-Aid off. | 好啦 长痛不如短痛 |
| [14:32] | Snappy, snappy, wipey, wipey. | 打个响指 消除记忆吧 |
| [14:35] | I need a few minutes to work it all out, so… | 我得静一静 所以… |
| [14:44] | I hate this. And I’m sorry. | 我也不想这样 对不起 |
| [14:48] | And did I say that I hate this? Because I hate this. | 我说过很讨厌这样了吗 我真是满心的拒绝 |
| [14:50] | You don’t need to apologize for making a huge sacrifice to save your friends. | 你为拯救朋友们 决定牺牲自己 不必道歉 |
| [14:56] | This is why people love moral philosophy professors. | 大家就是因此才喜欢道德哲学教授呀 |
| [15:01] | Well, how about this? | 这样吧 |
| [15:03] | Every time you see me get a stomach ache, | 以后我每次胃疼 |
| [15:07] | imagine I’m thinking of you. | 你都当做是我在思念你 |
| [15:09] | – So, all the time? – Exactly. | -那你脑子里一直都是我啊 -没错 |
| [15:12] | Sorry to interrupt. | 抱歉打断你们的二人时光 |
| [15:14] | I wanted to give both of you something before we do this. | 我想趁消除记忆前 送你们俩一点东西 |
| [15:18] | Think of it as a going-away present. | 就当是临别赠礼吧 |
| [17:04] | I don’t normally cry at movies… | 我一般看电影不会哭… |
| [17:07] | But that one was pretty good… | 但刚才那段视频实在太感人了… |
| [17:10] | That girl was hot. | 女主倾城绝色 |
| [17:13] | The guy was, too. | 男主也风流倜傥 |
| [17:16] | I’m gonna miss you so much, Eleanor. | 我会很想你 埃莉诺 |
| [17:19] | Except you won’t. | 可你不会记得我 |
| [17:21] | That’s what’s so scary about this whole thing. | 我就是因此而心慌 |
| [17:24] | I’m gonna miss you. | 我会很想你 |
| [17:26] | You’re just gonna think I’m some sexy godlike figure | 而你只会把我当做下凡的天仙 |
| [17:30] | who you wanna hump immediately after meeting her. | 对我一见钟情 二见倾心 |
| [17:33] | I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. | 我知道你是想讲个笑话 活跃一下离别感伤的气氛 |
| [17:35] | It’s not a joke. I’m a legit snack. | 这不是笑话 我就是美若天仙 |
| [17:38] | But I believe in you. | 我相信你 |
| [17:41] | I am not even scared to get rebooted | 我一点都不怕被重启 |
| [17:42] | because I know that you’ll be here, taking care of me. | 因为我知道 你会在这里守护我 |
| [17:47] | I wish we had more time together. | 真希望我们能多相处一段时间 |
| [17:49] | Time means nothing. | 时间意味着虚无 |
| [17:51] | Jeremy Bearimy, baby. | 记得”死后世界”的时间线走向吧 |
| [17:53] | We’ll just get through this. | 我们会挺过去的 |
| [17:54] | And then you and I can chill out in the dot of the eye forever. | 然后 我们俩就能在”虚无圆点”过上幸福美满永恒的生活了 |
| [17:58] | Right. | 对 |
| [17:59] | We’ll be okay. | 我们会挺过去的 |
| [18:03] | We found each other before hundreds of times. | 我们俩之前无数次寻到了彼此 |
| [18:07] | We can do it again. | 我们这次也会再次相爱 |
| [18:17] | Bye, Chidi. | 再见 奇迪 |
| [18:36] | – Janet? – Hi, there. | -珍妮特 -你好 |
| [18:38] | Hi, Janet? | 珍妮特 |
| [18:39] | Can you just, you know, like, tell me the answer? | 你能直接给我答案吗 |
| [18:44] | Sorry? | 什么 |
| [18:45] | You know, the answer to everything. | 万物的答案 |
| [18:48] | You know all there is to know in the universe. | 你对宇宙万物无所不知 |
| [18:50] | Crunch the numbers. Tell me the answer. | 就直接告诉我答案吧 |
| [18:54] | What’s the point of love if it’s just gonna disappear? | 如果爱情终会消散 当初又何必相爱 |
| [18:56] | And how is it worse to not love anybody? | 无情无爱又能如何 |
| [18:59] | There has to be meaning to existence, | 存在即合理 |
| [19:02] | otherwise the universe is just made of pain, | 否则 宇宙间便只有无尽的苦痛 |
| [19:05] | and I don’t like the thought of that, | 这种厌世想法令我抓狂 |
| [19:06] | so tell me the answer. | 直接告诉我答案吧 |
| [19:09] | I know how you feel. | 我理解你的感受 |
| [19:11] | Back on Earth, I had to watch jason have no recognition of me. | 之前在地球上 杰森完全不记得我了 |
| [19:15] | It felt like… | 那种感觉就像… |
| [19:17] | right before someone pushes a plunger and murders you. | 生命被一点点蚕食 |
| [19:20] | Sure. | 没错 |
| [19:21] | The more human I become, | 我变得越有人情味 |
| [19:23] | the less things make sense. | 就越无法理解万事万物 |
| [19:25] | But that’s part of the fun, right? | 但这就是存在的乐趣啊 |
| [19:28] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [19:29] | If there were an answer I could give you to how the universe works, | 如果我真能给出万物运行的答案 |
| [19:34] | it wouldn’t be special. | 那经历就毫无意义了 |
| [19:36] | It would just be machinery fulfilling its cosmic design. | 那就说明 万事万物皆有剧本 |
| [19:39] | It would just be a big, dumb food processor. | 宇宙就像一个巨大的傻瓜食品加工机 |
| [19:43] | But since nothing seems to make sense, | 但既然一切都似乎毫无意义 |
| [19:46] | when you find something or someone that does, | 等你遇到燃起你生命意义的那间事 那个人 |
| [19:51] | it’s euphoria. | 就实现了生命的圆满 |
| [19:52] | In all this randomness and this pandemonium, | 穿越层层混乱喧嚣[群魔殿] |
| [19:56] | you and Chidi found each other, | 你和奇迪相遇了 |
| [19:59] | and you had a life together. | 共度了一段美好的时光 |
| [20:02] | Isn’t that remarkable? | 难道不该欢喜吗 |
| [20:05] | Pandemonium is from “Paradise Lost.” | “群魔殿”出自《失乐园》 |
| [20:08] | Milton called the center of hell, “Pandemonium,” | 弥尔顿将地狱中心称为”群魔殿” |
| [20:12] | meaning, “Place of all demons.” | 也就是 众恶魔所在之所 |
| [20:14] | Chidi tricked me into reading “Paradise Lost” | 奇迪之前骗我读了《失乐园》 |
| [20:16] | by telling me Satan was, and I quote, “My type.” | 用他的话说 撒旦是”我中意的仔” |
| [20:23] | A big, mean, bald guy with a goatee. | 一个留着山羊胡的恶毒秃顶大块头 |
| [20:24] | I mean, he wasn’t wrong. | 他说得也没错 |
| [20:26] | No. That’s very on brand for you. | 是啊 你就喜欢那一款 |
| [20:30] | I guess all I can do is embrace the pandemonium, | 我大概只能接纳群魔 |
| [20:34] | find happiness in the unique insanity of being here, now. | 此时此刻 于癫狂中求得圆满了 |
| [20:41] | We’ll do this together. | 我们会并肩作战 |
| [20:43] | In the words of the man that I love, | 用我爱人的话说 |
| [20:47] | “I got you, dog.” | “我挺你 姐们” |
| [20:49] | Thanks, Janet. | 谢谢你 珍妮特 |
| [20:51] | You know, for a robot, you make a really good girl friend. | 你真是机器人中最会安慰人的女闺蜜 |
| [20:54] | I’m one out of three of those things, | 确实是闺蜜 但我既非机器人 又无性别 |
| [20:56] | but thank you. | 不过还是谢谢夸奖 |
| [20:58] | Good luck. | 祝好运 |
| [21:03] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [21:09] | Hi, Chidi. | 你好 奇迪 |
| [21:11] | I’m Eleanor. | 我是埃莉诺 |
| [21:13] | Come on in. | 请进 |