| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:08] | So, I had to bump a guest last night | 昨晚我们时间不多了 |
| [00:09] | who was supposed to be on the show when we ran out of time, | 我只好踢掉一位嘉宾 |
| [00:11] | and it’s not without its dangers. | 这很危险 |
| [00:12] | One night, I bumped Jackie Gleason. | 有次我踢掉了杰基格里森 |
| [00:14] | Next day, he bumped me straight to the moon. | 第二天他把我踢去了月球 |
| [00:15] | Yeah. I was black and blue for a week. | 搞得我整整一星期都伤痕累累 |
| [00:22] | Winter weather’s taking hold all over America. | 美国现在已经是冬季的天气了 |
| [00:24] | Right now, the roads are wetter than Richard Nixon | 现在的路面 |
| [00:26] | during a televised debate. | 比搞电视辩论时的尼克松还要湿 |
| [00:29] | – Slippery, very slippery. – And the winner for the least interesting joke goes to… | 最不逗的段子的获胜者是… |
| [00:31] | – Hmm? – Huh? Hey, will someone | 有没有人可以去告诉雪莉组合 |
| [00:33] | please tell the Shirelles that, yes, I will still love them tomorrow? | 我明天仍然会爱她们? |
| [00:37] | The band’s waiting half a beat when I throw to them | 乐队在独白结束后等了半拍 |
| [00:39] | after the monologue. They got to jump in quicker | 他们得快点切进去 |
| [00:41] | so I’m not hanging out there. | 以免我干杵在那儿 |
| [00:43] | Exactly, I keep saying they got to jump in quicker. | 我老说他们得快点切进去 |
| [00:45] | I’ll talk to Tony. | 我会和托尼谈的 |
| [00:47] | And is Teddy’s writing getting smaller, or are my eyes | 泰迪的字是不是越来越小了? |
| [00:48] | getting worse? His writing’s getting smaller. | 他的字是越来越小了 |
| [00:50] | Much smaller. I noticed that, too. | 我也注意到了 |
| [00:52] | I’ll talk to Teddy. So, now, | 我会和泰迪谈的 |
| [00:54] | the Kerouac joke– why didn’t that get a bigger laugh? | 凯鲁亚克的段子 为什么没有引起很大的笑声? |
| [00:57] | Felt like a lot of people didn’t know who he is. | -感觉观众不知道他是谁 |
| [00:59] | The guy’s a best-selling author, what gives? | -怎么会这样? |
| [01:00] | I know who he is. We got to stop | 我知道他是谁 |
| [01:03] | with the outdated references. Keep it fresh. | 我们不能再用那些过时的引言引文了 |
| [01:04] | Well, said, Gordie. | 说得好 阿戈 |
| [01:06] | See you at Toots? | -在图茨酒吧见? |
| [01:07] | I’ve got to get home to the missus. | -我得回家了 |
| [01:08] | She’s under the weather. | 太太生病了 |
| [01:09] | She was fine when I left her this afternoon. | -我早些时候离开她时她还好着呢 |
| [01:11] | – Clever. – Hey, tally’s wrong. | -很逗 |
| [01:12] | Gordon dropped the orphanage joke. | 塔利错了 戈登没用那段子 |
| [01:14] | Oh, sorry, Cess. | -不好意思了 |
| [01:15] | Well, still more jokes than you. | 阿瑟 -入选的段子依然比你的多 |
| [01:17] | This isn’t a contest. | -这不是比赛 |
| [01:18] | Of course it’s a contest. | -当然是比赛 |
| [01:19] | You know what that means. | -你知道这是什么意思吧 |
| [01:20] | Maisel’s 0 for 30. | -梅赛尔30投0中 |
| [01:22] | Broke the record. Yup. | -打破了记录 -是的 |
| [01:24] | Thanks again, Midge. | -再次感谢 |
| [01:25] | Didn’t get a joke in again, huh? | 米琪 -又没有段子入选吗? |
| [01:27] | No, but I do know who Jack Kerouac is. | 是 但我知道杰克凯鲁亚克是谁 |
| [01:29] | Who? | 谁? 神奇的梅赛尔太太 |
| [01:36] | Oh! | 以色列 1984年 |
| [01:55] | Beautiful yield today. | 今天的收成不错 |
| [01:57] | God looked down and smiled. | 上帝低头微笑了 |
| [02:22] | Ethan. | 伊森! |
| [02:26] | Oh, Ethan, let me look at you. | 伊森 让我瞧瞧你 |
| [02:29] | Mama, you know there’s an airport here. | 妈妈 你知道这里有一个机场的 |
| [02:31] | Oh, it’s practically in Egypt it’s so far. | -那机场太远了 |
| [02:33] | Ethan. | 都快到埃及了 |
| [02:35] | It’s okay! It’s just my mother! | -伊森! |
| [02:37] | She’s visiting from New York. | 没事!这是我母亲!她从纽约来的 |
| [02:39] | Oh. – They act like they’ve never seen a Jewish mother before. | 他们怎么一副 从没见过犹太母亲的样子? |
| [02:42] | Well, it’s Israel, Mama. | 这里可是以色列 妈妈 |
| [02:44] | Helicopters suddenly appearing in the sky | 一架直升机突然出现 |
| [02:46] | make people very nervous. | 让人紧张 |
| [02:47] | Who’s gonna invade a lettuce farm– | 谁会入侵生菜农场? |
| [02:49] | health-conscious anti-Semites who want a salad? | 注重养生的想吃沙拉的反犹主义者? |
| [02:55] | Does he just wait for you? | -那人就站那儿等着你吗? |
| [02:57] | He’s fine. He’s got a book. | -不用管他 他有一本书可看 |
| [03:00] | And when the parsnips | 欧防风冒出来时 |
| [03:01] | started peeking out, we were all stunned. | 我们惊呆了 |
| [03:04] | I mean, you think you’re planting horseradish, | 我们以为种的是辣根 |
| [03:05] | and then up come parsnips. | 长出来的却是欧防风 |
| [03:07] | God works in mysterious ways. | 上帝的行事是神秘的 |
| [03:10] | Well, actually, we just got the packets mixed up. | -其实是我们弄错了种子包 |
| [03:12] | Oh, good, you haven’t changed completely. | -很好 |
| [03:14] | So… | 你还没有完全改变 |
| [03:16] | how are your studies going? Are you a rabbi yet? | 你的学习进展如何? 你当上拉比了吗? |
| [03:19] | Oh, no, not yet. | -还没有 |
| [03:20] | You’ve been at rabbi school for years now. | -你已经在拉比学校学习多年了 |
| [03:22] | It’s not called rabbi school. | -那不叫拉比学校 |
| [03:23] | I mean, you didn’t want to go to college, | -你不想上大学 |
| [03:25] | fine, but should it take longer to become a rabbi | 成为拉比会比成为律师 |
| [03:26] | than it does to become a lawyer? | 需要更长的时间吗? |
| [03:28] | Yes. I… I got my answer. | -是的 -是的 我自己得到了答案 |
| [03:33] | So, for tonight, I’m sending a car | 我会在6点半准时派车来接你 |
| [03:35] | to pick you up at 6:30 sharp. | 你收到我寄来的西装了吗? |
| [03:36] | – You got the suit I sent? – I did, but… | -收到了 |
| [03:39] | Ethan, do not give me a hard time about this. | 但是… -别让我为难 |
| [03:40] | It’s not every night the UJA-Federation | 犹太联合募捐联合会可不会 |
| [03:42] | honors your mother, and I need my son to look handsome. | 每晚都会为你母亲授予荣誉 今晚我儿子得给我穿得帅气一点 |
| [03:45] | Make sure you shave and bathe. | 务必刮胡子 |
| [03:47] | Twice, because some of this seems permanent. | 并且洗两遍澡 有些污垢仿佛黏你身上了 |
| [03:49] | – I work in the fields. There’s dignity in labor. – Your labor, | 我在地里工作 生产是有尊严的 |
| [03:52] | – maybe. Mine involves a roomful of people staring at my – Mama. | 我生产时是一屋子人 盯着我的卷心菜地 |
| [03:55] | cabbage patch. See? I kept it thematic for you. | 瞧 我怎么说都没偏离你的主题 |
| [03:59] | I don’t understand why you say such things. | -你为什么要说那种事? |
| [04:01] | Well, good thing you don’t book the Copa. | -幸好你从不去科帕夜总会 |
| [04:03] | – Oh, I have a little news. – Hm? | 我有件小事要告诉你 |
| [04:05] | Chava. Chava. | 哈娃! |
| [04:08] | Mama, I’d like you to meet… | 妈妈 我想让你见见… |
| [04:10] | Let me guess– Chava? | -让我猜猜 |
| [04:12] | We’re getting married. | 哈娃? -我们要结婚了 |
| [04:15] | This is a “little news”? | -这是小事? |
| [04:16] | It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Maisel. | -幸会 梅赛尔夫人 |
| [04:18] | I’m sorry, did you say you’re getting married? | 你刚刚是不是说你们要结婚了? |
| [04:20] | Yes, after harvest. | -是的 |
| [04:22] | No clue when that is. I understand marriage | 收割忙完之后就结婚 -收割忙完是几时? |
| [04:23] | is not a happy topic for you. | 婚姻不是一个让你高兴的话题 |
| [04:25] | Ethan told me about your divorce. | -伊森跟我说过你离婚的事 |
| [04:26] | Oh, yeah? Which one? | -哪一次? |
| [04:28] | Not to have felt pain is not to have been human. | 不曾感受过痛苦就不是人 |
| [04:31] | Well, that was beautiful, I assume. | 应该是很动听的一句话吧 我想 |
| [04:35] | So, Chava, | 哈娃 |
| [04:37] | are your parents kibbutz-ers, too? No. | 你父母也是 集体农场的成员吗? |
| [04:40] | I was born in Tel Aviv but we moved to Minnesota | 不 我出生在特拉维夫 但后来搬去了明尼苏达 |
| [04:43] | when my father became head of surgery at the Mayo Clinic. | 因为我父亲当上了 妙佑医疗国际的外科主任 |
| [04:45] | I moved back to join the army. | 我后来又回来参了军 |
| [04:47] | I didn’t see much combat, but I did break my leg in four places | 我没怎么见过战斗场面 |
| [04:49] | when my parachute opened late. | 但有次我的降落伞没及时打开 导致我摔断了一条腿 |
| [04:51] | I was separated from my platoon, so I had to set it myself | 我和我的排分开了 我只好自己 |
| [04:53] | and climb a date tree to sleep in. | 给自己复位 然后爬上了一棵树睡觉 |
| [04:56] | I still get teased about that. | -现在依然会因为这事被人取笑 |
| [04:57] | Yeah, you’ll never live that down. | -你一辈子都会为此感到难堪的 |
| [04:59] | Okay, I have to go. | 好了 我得走了 |
| [05:00] | Ethan, walk Mommy to her helicopter? | 伊森 送妈妈去直升机那边吗? |
| [05:05] | Be faithful to that one | 要对她忠诚 |
| [05:07] | or she’ll rip your nuts off and plant them next to the onions. | 不然她会扯掉你的蛋 然后把它们种在洋葱旁边 |
| [05:10] | I will be completely faithful to her, always. | 我会对她完全忠诚 永远如此 |
| [05:14] | Okay. I’ll see you at 6:30 sharp. | 好了 |
| [05:17] | Wear the suit. | 6点半准时见 记得穿上西装 |
| [05:23] | Wish you’d told me you had a fiancée. | 真希望你能早点告诉我 你有未婚妻了的事 |
| [05:27] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [05:39] | I don’t like her. | -我不喜欢她 |
| [05:40] | Well, she’s my mother. | -没办法 她是我母亲 |
| [05:45] | – There. | 1961年 |
| [05:46] | This is ridiculous. | 太荒唐了 |
| [05:48] | He’s a little boy. You tell a little boy | 他是个小男孩 |
| [05:50] | what to do, you don’t trick him into doing it. | 你可以告诉一个男孩该做什么 但你不能耍他 |
| [05:51] | This is what the school therapist told us to do, okay? | 这是学校心理治疗师叫我们做的 |
| [05:54] | There. We make it a game. | 弄成做游戏的样子 |
| [05:56] | Every night, he sleeps two feet closer to his room | 睡觉地点每晚朝他的房间挪六分米 |
| [05:58] | until finally he makes it to his bed. | 直到最后他爬上了床 |
| [06:00] | He wins. There. | 就表示他赢了 |
| [06:03] | We should put him in a new school. | -这里 -我们应该把他转去一所新学校 |
| [06:04] | Any school we put him in is gonna think we’re bad parents. | -哪所学校都会认为我们是糟糕父母 |
| [06:06] | – Why? – We’re divorced. I’m a comic. | -为什么? 我们离婚了 |
| [06:09] | I’ve been to jail. You own a nightclub. | 我进过监狱 而你开了一家夜店 |
| [06:10] | Ah, but we make our son sleep on the floor of the hallway | 让儿子睡在地板上 |
| [06:12] | and suddenly we’re Ozzie and Harriet? | 我们就能成为模范父母了? |
| [06:14] | You have a better idea? | -那你有更好的主意吗? |
| [06:15] | Tell him to sleep in his own bed. | -叫他去睡自己的床 |
| [06:17] | Wow, I did not think of that. No wonder men run the world. | 这我还真没想到 |
| [06:19] | There. | 难怪男人统治世界 这里 |
| [06:23] | Probably should’ve let Ethan talk to him. | 或许该让伊森跟他谈谈 |
| [06:25] | To the school therapist? No fucking way. | 跟学校心理治疗师?绝对不行 |
| [06:27] | I don’t want some quack messing with my son’s mind. | 我可不想让我儿子被庸医洗脑 |
| [06:30] | Five minutes, he’ll have Ethan convinced | 伊森只要跟他谈五分钟 |
| [06:31] | – his whole family’s insane. – Did you hear that? | 就会认为自己的家人是疯子 -你们听到了吗? |
| [06:33] | What, Mama? | -什么 妈妈? |
| [06:34] | I just… | 我只是…没什么 |
| [06:36] | Nothing. Who wants tea? | 谁想喝茶? |
| [06:40] | It’s weak to go to a therapist. | 只有软弱的人才去看心理治疗师 |
| [06:42] | Yes, your opinion has been stated, loud and clear. | 好了 你已明确表达了你的意见 |
| [06:44] | And don’t you dare talk about any of this in your act. | 不许你在表演时说这事 |
| [06:47] | Why are you so cranky? There. | 你为什么这么暴躁?这里 |
| [06:50] | Is it Moishe and Shirley? | 是因为莫舍和雪莉吗? |
| [06:52] | You mean the unstoppable force and the immovable object? | 你是说不可阻挡的力量 和不可移动的物体? |
| [06:54] | – Oh. – They’re driving me crazy. | 他们快把我逼疯了 |
| [06:56] | They insist on staying in that house together | 他俩都坚持要待在那房子里 |
| [06:58] | but they won’t speak to each other, | 但俩人又不说话 |
| [06:59] | so everything goes through me. | 任何事都通过我传达 |
| [07:00] | I spent the morning negotiating | 我上午都在帮他们谈判 |
| [07:01] | what the temperature should be when they sleep. 65 or 66. | 睡觉时的温度该设成18还是19摄氏度 |
| [07:05] | An hour and a half on a one-degree difference. | 就为了一度的温差 |
| [07:07] | Oh! There. | 谈了一个半小时 |
| [07:08] | You heard that, right? It was a thump or a bang. | 听到了吗? 重击的声音或者砰的一声 |
| [07:10] | – It was the front door, Rose. – But who came through? | -是前门的开门声 罗斯 |
| [07:12] | Oh, Abe. It’s… you. Oh, Abe. | -但是谁进来了? 是你啊 安比 |
| [07:14] | What are you doing down there? | 你们蹲着做什么? |
| [07:16] | Well, we met with Ethan’s school, and they… | -我们跟伊森的学校… |
| [07:18] | Never mind. I can’t even pretend to care. | -不用说 我连假装在意的劲都没有 |
| [07:23] | Papa. | 爸爸…是我 |
| [07:25] | It’s just me, Mama. | 妈妈 |
| [07:27] | Anything wrong, Papa? | -怎么了 |
| [07:28] | I spelled Carol Channing’s name wrong. | 爸爸? |
| [07:31] | Oh. How did you spell it? | -我把卡罗尔钱宁的名字拼错了 |
| [07:33] | Wrong! Does it matter? | -你拼成什么了? -拼错了!还管拼成什么了干啥 |
| [07:34] | I did it and the paper had to issue a correction. | 我拼错了 报社发了一则勘误 |
| [07:37] | A correction for everyone to read. | -人人都能看到的勘误 |
| [07:39] | Does anyone really read corrections? | -会有人读勘误吗? |
| [07:41] | Of course they do. | 当然有! |
| [07:42] | I start every paper reading the corrections. | 我读每份报纸都从阅读勘误开始 |
| [07:45] | That’s how you know who the idiots are. | 这样你就能知道谁是傻子 |
| [07:47] | And up until now, I was the only person | 今天之前 |
| [07:50] | at the Voice that had never been corrected in print. | 我是《乡村之声》唯一 从未在报上被勘误的人 |
| [07:54] | Now I, too, am an idiot. | 现在我也是傻子了 |
| [07:56] | Well, maybe now they’ll let you sit at their table at lunch. | 也许你的同事们现在 会让你跟他们同桌吃午饭了 |
| [07:59] | Look at it. | 你看 |
| [08:00] | “On Monday, Carol Channing…” two N’s, | “周一 |
| [08:04] | “was incorrectly spelled as ‘Chaning,'” one N. Ugh. | ‘钱宁’中的两个N字母 被误拼写为只有一个N” |
| [08:06] | I’ve been branded. I’m-I’m Hester Prynne. | 我被打上了臭名 我成了海丝特白兰 |
| [08:09] | Two N’s in Prynne, by the way. | 顺便说一下 “白兰”有两个N |
| [08:11] | I just can’t remember the last time | 我不记得我上次犯这种错是何时了 |
| [08:13] | I made a mistake like this. | |
| [08:14] | Look, now, come on. | 别这样 |
| [08:16] | Not in 25 years at Columbia, | 不论是在哥伦比亚大学的25年里 还是在高中 |
| [08:18] | not in high school, elementary school. | 还是小学 我都没犯过 |
| [08:20] | I may have gotten something wrong in kindergarten, | 我可能在幼儿园的时候犯过这种错 |
| [08:23] | but there are no existing records of my time there. | 但是没有现存的 |
| [08:26] | I checked. | 关于我那段时期的记录 我查过 |
| [08:28] | You’re divorced. What are you doing here? | 你们离婚了 你在这里做什么? |
| [08:30] | Ethan’s school therapist told us… | -伊森的学校心理治疗师… |
| [08:32] | I told you, I don’t care! | -我说了 我不在乎! |
| [08:34] | You had to hear it that time. | 这次你们肯定听到了 |
| [08:36] | It was a gun being cocked or a sword being unsheathed. | 要么是枪上膛或者剑拔出鞘的声音 |
| [08:39] | I just dropped the paper down on the table. | 是我把报纸往桌上砸的声音 |
| [08:41] | You… Are you trying to drive me mad, Abe Weissman? | 你…你想逼疯我吗 安比韦斯曼? |
| [08:46] | Yeah. There’s no way I’m keeping this out of my act. | 我绝不可能 不在表演中聊这件事 |
| [08:50] | “I mean, the kid | 这孩子是第二次上幼儿园了 |
| [08:52] | had to take kindergarten a second time. He failed finger paints.” | 因为他的手指画没及格 |
| [08:55] | Something other than finger paints. | -不要说手指画 |
| [08:56] | – “He failed sharing.” – Better. | -他没有跟别的人分享 |
| [08:57] | – “He failed snack.” – Bit of a thinker. | -他吃零食失败了 |
| [08:59] | We give ’em one a night. Go with snack, guys. | -我们每晚送他一个段子入选 |
| [09:01] | How do you spell “discombobulated”? | -“乱七八糟”是怎么写的? |
| [09:02] | Teddy, that was two jokes ago. You’re two jokes behind? | -泰迪 你落后了两个段子 |
| [09:04] | I have a mind like a steel trap. | 我的记忆力如捕兽夹 |
| [09:06] | And a butt like a bowl of spaghetti. | -屁股如一碗意大利面 -你有脸说我? |
| [09:07] | – Look who’s talking. – Guys, stop. We need one more, | 别吵了 还缺一个段子 |
| [09:09] | so focus. We need something, anything. | 专心点 还缺一个段子 什么都行 |
| [09:12] | Well… | 那个… |
| [09:13] | Never mind. | |
| [09:15] | – You got something? Let’s hear it. – Your every thought | -算了 -说来听听 |
| [09:17] | – is the property of The Gordon Ford Show. – So don’t fight it. | -你的所有想法都是节目的财产 -说来听听吧 |
| [09:18] | Okay. Well… | 好吧… |
| [09:22] | “Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, | 兔八哥的配音演员 |
| [09:24] | was recently in a car accident. | 梅尔布兰克出车祸了 |
| [09:26] | He’s recovering nicely, though authorities | 他正在康复 |
| [09:27] | are still questioning the voice of Elmer Fudd.” | 但当局仍在 审问爱发先生的配音演员 |
| [09:31] | – I like it. – Me too. | -这段子我喜欢 |
| [09:32] | Gordon’ll like it, too. Put it in. | -我也是 把它放进去 |
| [09:33] | Wait, put it in? | 放进去?你说把它放进去 |
| [09:35] | Uh, when you say “put it in,” you mean | 意思是把它放进去?闭嘴 |
| [09:37] | “put it in”? Shut up, Mel. | 梅尔 |
| [09:38] | Yeah. It was good, it’s going in. | 是的 |
| [09:40] | Wow. Wow. | 这段子很好 入选了 |
| [09:42] | Just has to get past the man upstairs. | -现在只看能否通过楼上那人那关了 |
| [09:44] | Here he comes. – Whew. | -他来了 |
| [09:46] | Smells like an elephant’s ass crack in here. | -这里怎么有大象屁股的气味? |
| [09:48] | – Trudy, you ready? – Got it. | -卓迪 弄好了吗? |
| [09:49] | Gimme. | 给我 |
| [09:54] | Okay. | 可以 |
| [09:57] | Nice work, guys. | -干得好 |
| [09:59] | Ooh, another squeaker, though. | 伙计们 -又是一次惊险获胜 |
| [10:00] | Humbly speaking, we’re the best in the business. | 我们是业内最好的 |
| [10:02] | Let’s take a break. We’ve earned it. | -我们休息一下吧 |
| [10:03] | Oh, good, my mother’s called me three times. | -我妈给我打了三次电话 |
| [10:05] | You sing? | -你唱歌? |
| [10:06] | You know I sing. | -你知道我能唱的 |
| [10:07] | When did I ever hear you sing? | -我几时听到你唱过歌? |
| [10:08] | In all the school plays. | -学校搞戏剧表演时 |
| [10:10] | Don’t you remember me doing The Band Wagon in high school? | 你不记得我唱《乐队花车》吗? |
| [10:12] | I remember you doing the band back in high school, | 我只记得你搞过乐队的人 |
| [10:14] | but not you singing. | 不记得你唱过歌 |
| [10:16] | You always diminish my dreams, you know that? | 你总是打击我的梦想 |
| [10:17] | You’re very consistent in that way. | 这方面你总是如一 |
| [10:19] | One of the reasons I’m in this terrible rut | 我陷入现在这种可怕境地的原因之一 |
| [10:21] | is because I get no help from you or anyone. | 就是我得不到你或其他人的帮助 |
| [10:23] | I will try to find you something, Tess, I promise. | 我会设法给你找到一点事做 我保证 |
| [10:25] | Don’t break this promise. | 这次不要违背你的诺言 |
| [10:27] | Since Skint died, I’m feeling very vulnerable. | 自从斯金特死了 我就很脆弱 |
| [10:29] | – Wait, Skint died? – Yeah. | 等等 |
| [10:31] | Your husband? My brother-in-law? | 斯金特死了? 你丈夫也就是我姐夫死了? |
| [10:32] | Yeah, last week. | -上周死的 |
| [10:33] | And you didn’t think to tell me? | -你没告诉我? |
| [10:35] | It was natural causes, so there was nothing to tell. | -他是自然死亡 |
| [10:37] | I’ll call you later, Tess. | 没什么好告诉你的 -我下次再打给你 |
| [10:39] | Susie, chime in here, | 苏西 |
| [10:40] | is this floral print too busy? | 你来说说 这花卉图案是不是太花了? |
| [10:42] | Eh, the decor’s Dinah’s call, Nicky. | 装饰是由戴娜决定的 |
| [10:43] | She’s the one who gives a shit. | 她才是最关注这事的人 |
| [10:45] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [10:47] | Susie Myerson and Associates. | 这里是苏西梅尔森事务所 嗨 |
| [10:48] | Oh, hi, Midge. She’s right here. | 米琪 她就在我旁边 |
| [10:51] | Hey, what’s up? | -怎么了? |
| [10:53] | I got a joke in. Finally. | -我有个段子入选了 |
| [10:54] | It took me four weeks to get the hang of it. | -终于 -过了四个星期才成功 |
| [10:56] | No, it took them four weeks to realize their fucking cocks | 不 是他们现在才明白让一个女士的 |
| [10:59] | wouldn’t fall off if they put a lady joke in. | 段子入选 他们的鸡巴并不会掉下来 |
| [11:01] | Be sure to watch tonight. | 今晚的节目你一定要看 |
| [11:02] | – Dinah, too. – I’ll, uh… | 戴娜也要 我会处理这事的 |
| [11:03] | handle this. | 米里亚姆 |
| [11:05] | Miriam, I got to go right now. Your mother just walked in. | 我得挂了 你妈刚走进来 |
| [11:07] | Ha, ha, very funny. Goodbye. | -很搞笑 |
| [11:09] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [11:11] | Rose. | -再见 |
| [11:12] | I tried to call, but I couldn’t get through. | -罗斯 -我给你打过电话 但打不通 |
| [11:14] | Well, my business is really picking up. | 我的生意越来越旺了 |
| [11:16] | It’s a busy professional office now. | 这里已经成了一个繁忙的专业办公室 |
| [11:18] | Fuck me? Fuck you | 去我的?去你的! |
| [11:20] | and the donkey you rode in on | 还有你指望的那头驴! |
| [11:22] | and fuck the donkey’s sister, too. | 还有那头驴的妹妹! |
| [11:24] | Come on in. | 来吧 请坐 |
| [11:25] | Sit down. | 来吧 请坐 |
| [11:28] | So, uh… what’s up? | 怎么了? |
| [11:31] | Susie, you’re the angriest person I know. | 苏西 |
| [11:33] | All right. And you associate | 你是我认识的火气最大的人 |
| [11:36] | with angry people. There’s always a frightening, | -好吧 |
| [11:38] | terrible energy coming from you. | -你也和火气大的人来往 你身上总散发着可怕的能量 |
| [11:39] | Where you going with this, Rose? | -你想说什么? |
| [11:41] | Well, I was wondering if you could help me get a gun. | -你能帮我搞把枪吗? |
| [11:43] | – What? – Nothing fancy, and not too heavy. | -什么? -不用太高级的 也不用太重 |
| [11:45] | It has to fit in my purse and be quick on the draw. | 得能装进我的钱包 而且能很快掏出来 |
| [11:48] | You a righty or a lefty, sweetheart? | 你是右撇子还是左撇子 |
| [11:49] | Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Rose, | 甜心? |
| [11:51] | why on earth would you need a gun? | 罗斯 你为什么需要枪? |
| [11:52] | I stepped on some toes with my matchmaking business. | 我的婚介业务惹到了一些人 |
| [11:55] | Encroached on the turf of some not very nice people. | 侵占了一些不好惹的人的地盘 |
| [11:59] | So, you’re gonna shoot them? These old women with a gun. | 所以你想射杀她们 射杀那些老女人? |
| [12:01] | Oh, no, not shoot. Just brandish. | 不 不是射杀 |
| [12:03] | Wave it around a little. | 只是挥舞 稍微挥动一下 |
| [12:04] | Pistol whipping can be very effective, too, | 用手枪揍人也管用 |
| [12:06] | and it’s a shorter sentence. | 刑期还短一些 |
| [12:08] | Really? Don’t speak. | 你认真的吗?别说话 |
| [12:09] | They’ve threatened me and my family. | -她们威胁了我和我的家人 |
| [12:12] | Come on. They cornered Abe | -不是吧 |
| [12:13] | at his tobacco shop. Said terrible things about the Torah. | 她们在安比的店里把他逼到墙角 说了些关于《妥拉》的可怕的话 |
| [12:16] | We’ve had flights canceled, mail stolen, | 我们的航班被取消 |
| [12:18] | – dry cleaning ruined. – Who hasn’t? | 邮件被盗 |
| [12:21] | And I’m fairly certain they burned the tea room down. | 干洗的衣服被弄脏 -谁没有过? |
| [12:23] | Wait, they burned down the tea room? | -我很肯定茶室火灾是她们干的 -等等 |
| [12:25] | My tea room? Yes. | 她们烧了我的茶室? -是的 |
| [12:26] | With the delicious whipped cream? | 那儿的香草鲜奶油带有一丝 |
| [12:27] | That has just the right amount of vanilla | 肉豆蔻香味 |
| [12:29] | and a hint of nutmeg that makes it downright celestial? | 所以味道特别美妙 |
| [12:32] | It burned to the ground. | -茶室被烧成了灰烬 |
| [12:33] | I was gonna invest. | -我还打算投资的呢! |
| [12:34] | It’s gone. – Holy shit. | -已经烧没了 -天哪 |
| [12:37] | I’ll kill you, you hear? | 我要杀了你 |
| [12:40] | Oh. | 听到了吗? |
| [12:42] | I’m… I’m, uh, sorry for any language | 你刚才可能听到了我在里面 |
| [12:44] | you may have heard in there. | 说的一些话吧?如有冒犯请见谅 |
| [12:46] | Uh, call got pretty contentious. | 刚才我们吵得很激烈 |
| [12:48] | Everything okay, partner? | -没什么事吧? |
| [12:49] | It’s the ticket office to Camelot. | -对方是售票处 |
| [12:50] | Wife wants tickets, and these theater people, | 我老婆想要《卡美洛》的门票 |
| [12:52] | they don’t respond to threats. | 这些人不吃我的威胁 |
| [12:54] | Look, please don’t go shooting up any ladies’ luncheons. | 不要去任何女士午餐会上 乱枪扫射一通 |
| [12:57] | In the meantime, you need a place | 与此同时 |
| [12:59] | to do business for a while, | 茶室不见了 |
| [13:00] | with the tea room gone? | 你需要一个地方做生意 对吗? |
| [13:01] | For a couple days, perhaps. I just need a table | 需要借用几天 |
| [13:03] | and a phone. | 只要有一张桌子和一部电话就行 |
| [13:04] | – Hey, Maggie! – Yeah? | -嘿 玛吉! -啥事? |
| [13:07] | I’m sending Midge’s mom over. Find a space for her. | 我现在叫米琪的妈妈过去 你给她找个位置 |
| [13:09] | – What? – Just open the fucking door. | -什么? -开门就是了 |
| [13:13] | Go down the hall and take a right. | 沿着大厅走 再右转 |
| [13:14] | Thank you, Susie. | 谢谢你 |
| [13:15] | How beautiful. | 苏西 真漂亮 |
| [13:17] | – Damask? – Mm-hmm. Told you. | 是花缎? |
| [13:19] | I’m in the minority. Bullies. | -看吧 -我是少数派 |
| [13:21] | Man, do I hate bullies. | 恶霸 |
| [13:22] | Screwing with a nice, crazy lady like Rose. | 我讨厌恶霸 竟然欺负罗斯这样和善的疯女人 |
| [13:24] | – You can’t let her get a gun. – No, of course not. | -不能让她拿着枪 -对 当然不能 |
| [13:27] | So, uh, how about… | 那么 不如… |
| [13:30] | – Them? No, no, no, no, no. – Why not? | 他们?不… 为什么不行? |
| [13:32] | No, I don’t want to… | 不行 我不想… |
| [13:35] | You guys do know that we speak “mumble” pretty fluently, right? | 你们应该知道 我们很懂咕哝话吧? |
| [13:40] | You want us to get into this? | 你想让我们参与其中? |
| [13:41] | – No. – Maybe. | -不 -也许吧 |
| [13:42] | You sure? – Hey, Susie! | 你确定? 苏西 |
| [13:44] | Who’s this uptown broad making me rearrange my furniture? | 这个从市郊来的女人是谁? 竟然叫我重新布置家具 |
| [13:46] | Just let her hang there a while. | 就让她在那儿待一会儿吧 |
| [13:48] | Mm, this is perfect, Susie. Thank you. Uh, no. | 这里太棒了 |
| [13:52] | I think facing the door is better. | 苏西!谢谢你 |
| [13:53] | She’s Midge’s mom, right? | 她是米琪的妈妈? |
| [13:54] | There’s nothing for you guys | 这事不用你们插手 |
| [13:55] | to do on this. Thanks. | |
| [13:57] | – Okay. – All right. | 好吧 行吧 |
| [13:58] | I wish you’d come to me. | 你怎么没来找我? |
| [14:00] | I could get you tickets. Oh, yeah? | 我可以给你搞到门票 |
| [14:01] | I know Robert Goulet. That’s right. | 我认识罗伯特古赖 |
| [14:03] | Yeah, we golf on Saturdays. | -没错 -我们经常周六一起打高尔夫 |
| [14:05] | Have a great time. | 祝你们玩得开心 |
| [14:07] | Make a lot of noise and show Gordon | 请尽管大笑 |
| [14:08] | and all the folks back home that you’re having a great time. | 让戈登和你们的家人明白 |
| [14:11] | Enjoy the show, everyone. | 你们玩得很开心 好好享受这个节目吧 |
| [14:16] | Hey, Teddy, can you save me the card with my joke on it? | 嘿 泰迪 能把写着 我的段子的牌子留给我吗? |
| [14:19] | It’s my first to get on. | -这是我的段子第一次上节目 |
| [14:21] | Gladly. That’s exciting. | -没问题 这太令人激动了 |
| [14:22] | It is. | 是的 |
| [14:26] | Ladies and gentlemen, it’s The Gordon Ford Show. | 女士们先生们 欢迎收看《戈登福特秀》! |
| [14:30] | Tonight’s guests: Pat Boone. | 今晚嘉宾有帕特布恩 |
| [14:33] | From Dobie Gillis, Bob Denver. | 演过《多比吉利斯》的鲍勃丹佛 |
| [14:35] | And comedian Lester Simms. | 以及喜剧演员莱斯特西姆斯 |
| [14:38] | Now, here’s your host, | 现在有请主持人戈登福特! |
| [14:40] | Gordon Ford! | |
| [14:49] | So, President John F. Kennedy. | 那个…约翰肯尼迪总统 |
| [14:52] | I have to say, it’s gonna be strange having a Catholic | 有一位来自麻省的 |
| [14:53] | president from Massachusetts. | 天主教徒总统会很奇怪 |
| [14:55] | I just worry when it comes to important matters, | 我担心他会永远支持波士顿红袜队 |
| [14:57] | his allegiance will always be to the Red Sox. | |
| [14:58] | Yeah. | |
| [15:01] | Oh, this was in the news, in preparation | 有个事上了新闻 |
| [15:03] | for a potential showdown with Cuban guerrillas, | 为了准备与古巴游击队一决高下 |
| [15:05] | the U.S. military recently purchased a B-52 bomber | 美国军方 最近购买了一架B52轰炸机 |
| [15:08] | and 10,000 bananas. | 以及一万根香蕉 |
| [15:10] | Sprinkle those out. | 把香蕉都丢出来 |
| [15:13] | Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, | 兔八哥的配音梅尔布兰克出车祸了 |
| [15:15] | was recently in a car accident. | |
| [15:17] | He’s recovering nicely, though, | 他正在康复 |
| [15:18] | authorities are still questioning | 但当局仍在 |
| [15:20] | the voice of Fell-mer… | 审问发爱先生的配音演员… |
| [15:27] | That’s a new character, folks: Fell-mer. | 发爱先生是个新角色 |
| [15:29] | Sidekick to Forky Pig. He’s hysterical. | 是猪弟小的跟班 他很歇斯底里 |
| [15:35] | Speaking of cartoons, | 说到卡通片 |
| [15:36] | Disney recently released 101 Dalmatians. | 迪士尼最近 推出了《101斑点狗》 |
| [15:39] | A lot of people are complimenting the art, | 很多人都在称赞这部电影 |
| [15:40] | but, personally, I found it a bit spotty. | 但我觉得它血泪斑斑 |
| [15:42] | It’s just me, I guess. | 可能只有我这么想吧 |
| [15:55] | Hey, Midge, uh, here’s your card. | -嘿 米琪 |
| [15:57] | – Thanks, Teddy. – You gonna frame it? | 你的牌子 -谢谢 泰迪 |
| [15:59] | – Or burn it for heat. – Okay. | -你要把它裱起来吗? -要把它烧掉取暖 好的 |
| [16:01] | – Was it as loud as it seemed? – Louder. | -我闹出的动静是不是比较大? -非常大 |
| [16:03] | – You… – Yes? | -喂! -在 |
| [16:06] | …have nothing to worry about. | 没什么可担心的 |
| [16:07] | Just flash that hundred-watt smile at Gordie | 只要对阿戈露出 |
| [16:09] | and it’ll all blow over. Piece of cake. | 你那魅力四射的微笑 事情就会过去 |
| [16:11] | – You think? – I know. | -真的吗?谢谢 -真的 |
| [16:13] | – Thanks. – If you want to keep your job, | 如果你想保住工作 |
| [16:15] | – grovel. – But George just said… | 就卑躬屈膝 -但是乔治刚刚说… |
| [16:17] | George is wrong about everything, in the world. | -乔治错了 他的判断全是错的 |
| [16:19] | I am telling you, grovel. | 我告诉你 要卑躬屈膝 |
| [16:21] | Grovel like you have never groveled before. | 要极尽所能地卑躬屈膝 |
| [16:27] | Someone will be here at 1:00 to accept the delivery. | 下午1点会有人来接货 |
| [16:30] | Nope, not before 1:00. | 不 别在1点之前 |
| [16:32] | Because we’re a nightclub, not a preschool. | 因为我们是夜店 不是幼儿园 |
| [16:36] | Yeah. We’ll see you at 1:00. What you need? | 是的 1点见 干什么? |
| [16:40] | Remember when we opened the club, | 还记得我们当初开夜店的时候 |
| [16:42] | how we discussed exactly what we wanted it to be? | 讨论过想要把它开成什么样吗? |
| [16:44] | – Yes. – Good music, hip clientele? | -好听的音乐 时髦的顾客 |
| [16:47] | – Yes, I remember. – Especially the hip clientele. | -是的 我记得 尤其是时髦的顾客 |
| [16:49] | We felt very strongly that a certain element would, say, | 我们强烈认同某种客户会…怎么说呢 |
| [16:53] | dampen the festive atmosphere of the place? | 削弱店里的玩乐气氛 |
| [16:56] | – Shit, the Mormons came back? – Oh, I wish. | -不是吧 摩门教徒又来了? -是他们倒好 |
| [16:58] | Some people say you don’t | 有些人说直到最后才 |
| [17:00] | salt your veal till the very end, | 可以给小牛肉加盐 |
| [17:01] | but what are they waiting for? The roof could cave in. | 他们等什么呢? 你的屋顶可能会坍塌 |
| [17:04] | Outer-space men could land | 外星人可能会朝你屁股上来一拳 |
| [17:05] | in your backyard, zap you right in the tuchus, | |
| [17:07] | then you’re dead with unsalted veal. | 那你到死都只能吃到没加盐的小牛肉 |
| [17:09] | – Ma. – Yeah? | 妈 |
| [17:11] | – What are you doing here? – Mm. Joely, | 你在这里做什么? |
| [17:12] | I’m having the best time with my new friends, | 小乔 我和我的新朋友们 某某和某某 |
| [17:15] | “What’s His Name” and “What’s Her Name.” | 聊得正开心呢 |
| [17:18] | They’re from somewhere, | 他们来自某个地方 |
| [17:19] | and they came here to celebrate something. | 来这里庆祝某件事 |
| [17:22] | – Archie. – Yep. | -阿奇 |
| [17:23] | Can I take that? | 我可以拿走这个吗? -嗯 |
| [17:24] | Uh-uh! If you try, | 你敢拿 |
| [17:25] | I’m gonna put you over my knee | 我就把你放在我腿上 |
| [17:26] | and spank you. When he was a boy, | 打你的屁股 |
| [17:28] | he was so afraid of my hairbrush | 他还是个小孩的时候 非常害怕我的梳子 |
| [17:31] | that he would hide in my closet, | 他会躲在我的衣橱里 |
| [17:33] | put on my wig and just lie there | 戴上我的假发 |
| [17:35] | like I wouldn’t notice. | 躺在那儿 仿佛我不会注意到似的 |
| [17:38] | Hello, there. You look like you’re about to throw up. | 你好 你看起来快要吐了 |
| [17:41] | Have a cracker sandwich. | 吃个饼干三明治吧 |
| [17:44] | Who else is hungry? | 还有谁饿了? |
| [17:46] | You really should sell some snacks here, Joel. | 你真的应该在这里卖点零食 乔尔 |
| [17:48] | But then, of course, | 不过这样一来 |
| [17:50] | you’d have to turn up the lights so they could see the menu. | 你就得开灯 这样他们才能看得清菜单 |
| [17:54] | It’s so dark in here. I can’t see myself think. | 这里太黑了 我都看不见自己在想什么 |
| [17:57] | Ma, how long have these been in your purse? | 妈 这些在你钱包里放多久了? |
| [18:00] | Oh, God! | 天啊! |
| [18:02] | – Here you go, Mrs. Maisel. – I didn’t ask for that. | -给你 -我没有点这个 |
| [18:05] | I just thought something warm… | 我觉得喝点暖的… |
| [18:06] | You know, I’ve had about enough of men | 我已经受够了 |
| [18:08] | telling me what they think. | 男人们跟我说他们的想法 |
| [18:09] | I’m sorry. | -抱歉 |
| [18:11] | I think you should drink it. | -我觉得这个应该给你喝 |
| [18:12] | That’s what I think. | 这是我的想法 |
| [18:13] | Hello, there. I’m Shirley Maisel. | 你好 我是雪莉梅赛尔 |
| [18:16] | That’s my son, Joel, the owner. | 那是我儿子乔尔 他是这里的老板 |
| [18:19] | Won’t be seeing much of him soon because | 你们不会经常见到他了 |
| [18:21] | he’s about to have a baby. | 因为他要有宝宝了 |
| [18:23] | He’s gonna be at home cleaning up the poo-poo. | 他会待在家 清理宝宝的便便 |
| [18:25] | Ma! There he goes again with the “Ma.” | -妈! |
| [18:28] | Go home. | -他又喊“妈”了 |
| [18:30] | I can’t stay in that house anymore. | -回家去 |
| [18:31] | Ma, please, you guys have to figure this out. | 拜托 -我不能再待在那房子里了 |
| [18:33] | He’s not gonna retire, Joel. | -你们得解决这个问题 -他不会退休的 |
| [18:35] | Of course he’s not gonna retire. | 当然不会 |
| [18:37] | He was never gonna retire. | 他永远都不会退休! |
| [18:38] | He will die at work yelling at his yarn guy. Accept it. | 他会一直工作到死 死时都在 |
| [18:42] | Well, his yarn guy is a real schmuck. | 对着纱线工人喊话 接受现实吧 他的纱线工人是个真正的傻子 |
| [18:45] | I’ll get you a cab. | 我给你叫辆计程车 |
| [18:47] | – How come she gets to stay? – She works here. | -她凭什么能待在这儿? -她在这里工作 |
| [18:51] | – Why? – Why, what? | -为什么? -什么为什么? |
| [18:53] | Why do you work for my son? It’s weird. | 你为什么为我儿子工作?有点奇怪 |
| [18:55] | Do you two have some sort of weird sicko thing going on? | 你俩之间是不是 有什么奇怪、恶心的事情? |
| [18:58] | Mr. Maisel, I certainly hope your mother can take a punch. | 梅赛尔先生 我希望你妈能受我一拳 |
| [19:01] | – Oh, she can. – Hey, hey, no! Stay… | 我能啊 嘿 不! |
| [19:04] | She won’t leave. She’s had… I don’t know how many drinks. | 她不肯走 她喝了很多酒 |
| [19:07] | – Oh, boy. – She’s got baggies of rotten food. | -天啊 -她包里装着坏掉的食物 |
| [19:09] | She’s passing them out to everyone who looks drunk. | 她还四处发给那些 |
| [19:10] | So, everyone. | 看起来喝醉了的顾客 |
| [19:12] | Yeah, that’s a lethal purse if you’re not careful. | -她那包可是个毒包 |
| [19:13] | She keeps trying to turn on the lights. | -她还想要开灯 |
| [19:15] | She keeps asking where we keep the mop. | 她一直找拖把 |
| [19:16] | She hates the music. She wants everyone to put on a sweater. | 她讨厌这里的音乐 |
| [19:19] | Oh, she tried to fight Mrs. Moskowitz. | 她想让每个人都穿上毛衣 还想跟莫斯科维茨夫人打一架 |
| [19:21] | That seems like a pretty fair fight. | -她俩打架应该是势均力敌 |
| [19:22] | – Pop. – Sorry. | -爸 |
| [19:23] | I’m not gonna have a club if this continues. | 这种情况继续下去 |
| [19:25] | Please, help me with this. | 我就没法开夜店了 帮帮我 |
| [19:27] | – Yep, I’m on it. – Thank you. | -好 我这就过去 -谢谢 |
| [19:29] | I found the mop. | 我找到了拖把 |
| [19:40] | Hm… | 你开玩笑的吧 |
| [19:48] | No, this is why I’ll never cover hockey– | 所以我永远不会报道曲棍球 |
| [19:50] | because it’s a baseball town. | 因为它是一个棒球之城 |
| [19:52] | – Okay? – Excuse me, | 打扰一下 |
| [19:54] | what’s Mr. Ford drinking? | 福特先生喝的什么? |
| [19:55] | – Bourbon and branch. – One of those, please. | -波本加水 -给我来一份 |
| [19:57] | Heavy on the bourbon, easy on the branch. | 波本多一点 |
| [19:59] | The Pirates are gonna repeat. | 不是我想不想 |
| [20:00] | It’s not what I want, but it’s what’s gonna happen. | 而是必定会那样 |
| [20:02] | – No, it’s gonna be the Yanks. – Without Stengel? | -不 会是洋基队赢 -没有斯坦格尔的情况下? |
| [20:04] | Good riddance to Stengel. Don’t quote me on that. | 没有了他才好呢 |
| [20:06] | Word is, he’s talking to the Mets. | -据说他正在和大都会队洽谈 |
| [20:08] | The Mets? What’s the Mets? | -大都会队是啥? |
| [20:09] | Gordon? Sorry to interrupt. Hi. | 戈登 抱歉 打扰了 |
| [20:13] | Hello, and you are interrupting. | -嗨 -你好 你确实是打扰了 |
| [20:15] | Yes, but I come bearing gifts. | 是的 |
| [20:17] | Bourbon and olive branch. | 但我带着礼物而来 波本威士忌和橄榄枝 |
| [20:18] | Already got one. Thanks. | 我已经有了 谢谢 |
| [20:22] | This is awkward. | -好尴尬 |
| [20:23] | And getting more awkward. | -而且越来越尴尬 |
| [20:25] | I just wanted to say I’m very sorry | 我想跟你说我为发出声的事情 |
| [20:27] | for groaning like that. | 很抱歉 |
| [20:28] | It was totally unprofessional. | 那样太不专业了 |
| [20:30] | She groaned during the show, audibly. | 她在节目上发出声了 |
| [20:32] | Stupidly. Involuntarily. | -非常愚蠢 |
| [20:34] | Oh, so someone forced you? | 非常不由自主 -有人强迫你了? |
| [20:35] | No, but there was a reason. | 没 但事出有因 |
| [20:36] | Were you going into labor? That would be a good reason. | 你要分娩了? |
| [20:38] | I don’t know how you women do it. Having babies… | 我不知道你们女人是怎么做到的 |
| [20:39] | No. See, it was just… | 不 |
| [20:42] | It was the first joke I got on the show, | 那是我第一个入选的段子 |
| [20:43] | and when what happened happened, | 当那件事发生时 |
| [20:45] | I let the emotion of it get to me. | -我受到了影响 |
| [20:46] | That was your first joke? Yes. | -那是你入选的第一个段子? |
| [20:47] | You’ve been there a number of weeks. | 你都已经上班好几个星期了 |
| [20:48] | It’s a tough room. | -编剧室里不好混 -那是最好的编剧室 |
| [20:50] | It’s the best room in the business. – Definitely. | 绝对是的 |
| [20:52] | Anyhow, when you bobbled the line, | 不过你念错那句话时 |
| [20:53] | I was just really disappointed, that’s all. | 我很失望 |
| [20:55] | And whatever happens from here on, | 就是这样 |
| [20:56] | please accept my apology. | 无论如何 请接受我的道歉 |
| [20:58] | Fine. I accept your apology. | 好吧 我接受你的道歉 |
| [21:03] | And I’m sorry I interrupted. | 对不起 打扰了 |
| [21:05] | Leave the drink. Bobbled it. | 把酒留下 |
| [21:08] | Joke was gonna bomb whether I bobbled it or not. | 不管我有没有念错 |
| [21:10] | Mm… | 那段子都不会引起大笑 |
| [21:12] | No, it wasn’t. | -不 |
| [21:13] | What do you mean, “No, it wasn’t”? Yes, it was. | 不是这样 -什么意思?是这样 |
| [21:15] | No, the joke was good. You just stumbled over Elmer Fudd. | 那个段子不错 是你念错了“爱发先生” |
| [21:17] | I didn’t stumble over Elmer Fudd. | -我没念错“爱发先生” |
| [21:19] | Uh, yes, you did. – No, I didn’t. | -你念错了 |
| [21:20] | Kind of want to hear this joke. | -我没有 -我想听听这段子 |
| [21:21] | Gordon, I’m a comedian. I know about rhythm. | 我是喜剧演员 我懂节奏 |
| [21:23] | You blew the joke. It’s okay. | -你毁了那个段子 |
| [21:24] | I got the laugh. By pointing out | -我把观众逗笑了 |
| [21:26] | – that you blew the joke. – I did that on purpose. | -因为你指了出来你毁了那段子 -我是故意毁的 |
| [21:28] | You blew a perfectly good joke so you could point out | 你毁了一个非常好的段子 |
| [21:30] | to the audience that you blew a perfectly good joke? | 就为了指出来你毁了它? |
| [21:32] | Yes. They love that. | 观众喜欢啊 |
| [21:34] | It makes me human, and I got a laugh. | 那样显得我有人性 我博得了笑声 |
| [21:35] | Yeah, but you got the wrong laugh. | -但那是错误的笑 |
| [21:36] | A laugh is a laugh. There is no wrong laugh. | -笑没有对错之分 |
| [21:38] | It was a cover laugh. | 那种笑是为了掩饰 |
| [21:39] | It’s a trick, I’ve done it myself, | 我自己就那样笑过 |
| [21:40] | but if you had just done the real joke | 如果那个段子你没念错 |
| [21:42] | correctly, you would’ve gotten a bigger laugh, the right laugh. | 就会博得真心实意的笑 |
| [21:45] | That joke was gonna bomb. End of story. | 那段子肯定不会博得大笑 别和我争 |
| [21:47] | – Then why’d you okay it? – What? | -那你为什么要同意? -什么? |
| [21:50] | You okay every joke. Are you saying you okayed a joke | 每个段子都经过你的同意 |
| [21:51] | that you knew was destined to bomb? | 难道你会同意一个 |
| [21:53] | – Now, wait a minute… – Or you saying you okayed it, | 你知道注定要冷场的段子? |
| [21:55] | not knowing it was gonna bomb till you got | 还是说你同意的时候 |
| [21:56] | on stage and your special bomb detector kicked in | 都不知道段子会冷场? |
| [21:58] | and you suddenly knew it was gonna bomb, | 直到上台才知道 |
| [22:00] | so you saved it by blowing it | 于是你决定毁掉它 |
| [22:01] | and getting the wrong laugh? | 通过引起错误的笑来救场? |
| [22:02] | There is no wrong laugh. | 笑没有对错之分! |
| [22:03] | There’s absolutely a wrong laugh. | 笑绝对有对错之分! |
| [22:05] | A wrong laugh is a laugh you get by accident | 你把自然的笑搞砸的时候 |
| [22:07] | because you fucked up the right laugh. | 就会引来错误的笑! |
| [22:08] | That is a wrong goddam laugh. | 那就是错误的笑 |
| [22:10] | Now, look here, Miss “I finally got one fucking joke in | 你听好 |
| [22:12] | after six months on the job…” | “上班六个月 才终于有段子入选”的小姐 |
| [22:13] | So, you can’t read a calendar either? | 你看不懂日历是吗? |
| [22:14] | It’s only been a month. | 我才上班一个月 |
| [22:15] | I have been doing this a very long time. | 我在这行已经做了很长时间 |
| [22:18] | I’m a professional goddamn performer. | 我是专业的表演者! |
| [22:19] | Who made a goddamn mistake and won’t admit it. | 犯了错却死不承认的表演者 |
| [22:27] | That is a terrible drink. | 这酒的味道真差劲 |
| [22:29] | There are no wrong laughs. | 笑没有对错之分! |
| [22:53] | I was writing | 我那天一直写作到深夜 |
| [22:55] | deep into the night. That is, when I wasn’t consulting Cicero for inspiration. | 我没有向西塞罗寻求灵感 |
| [22:59] | I hope it will undo at least some of the damage. | 我希望这至少能消除一些损害 |
| [23:02] | You misspelled “Channing,” Abe. | 你只是把“钱宁”拼错了 |
| [23:04] | Don’t you think you’re being a bit too hard on yourself? | 安比 你是不是对自己太苛刻了? |
| [23:06] | Mm, not according to Cicero. | -西塞罗不会这么认为 |
| [23:08] | Okay, here’s the bottom line, | -听着 重点是 |
| [23:10] | I cannot publish a 1,500 word apologia | 我没法为了你遗漏一个“N”的事 |
| [23:13] | because you left out one “N.” | 就发表一篇1500字的澄清文 |
| [23:15] | – How many words should it be? – 15? | -能写多少字? |
| [23:17] | 15? | |
| [23:18] | This is the operator, | 我是接线员 |
| [23:20] | I have an emergency breakthrough call for the Weissman household from Susie Myerson. | 苏西梅尔森有急事找您 |
| [23:23] | – What? No, thank you, operator. – Hold, please. | -不接 谢谢你 接线员 -请稍等 |
| [23:25] | Operator, I’m declining it. | -接线员 |
| [23:27] | Shouldn’t you see what the emergency is, Abe? | 我拒绝接听 -你不该听一下是什么急事吗? |
| [23:29] | We’re discussing my emergency. | 我正在和你讨论我的急事呢 |
| [23:31] | Hello? – Hello? | -喂? -喂? |
| [23:32] | Who is this? I’m calling for Midge. | -你是谁?我找米琪 |
| [23:34] | Susie? It’s Abe. I’m on the phone. | -我是安比 我正在打电话 |
| [23:36] | I know. Your damn line’s been busy all morning. | 你家电话整个上午都占线 |
| [23:38] | Well, I started the day | 我从一早就开始 |
| [23:40] | trying to call every Village Voice subscriber | 给《乡村之声》的订户挨个打电话 |
| [23:42] | and apologize to them individually. | -挨个向他们道歉 -我的天啊 |
| [23:44] | Oh, my God. Abe, please put Midge on. | -安比 请让米琪听电话 |
| [23:47] | Fine. Miriam. | -好吧 -米里亚姆! |
| [23:49] | Goodbye, Abe. 15 words. | -再见 安比 |
| [23:52] | It’s Susie. | 15个字 是苏西 |
| [23:54] | Hello? Did you get into a fight | -喂 -你昨晚是不是 |
| [23:56] | with Gordon Ford in front of everybody, | 在图茨肖尔酒吧当着演艺界 |
| [23:58] | and I mean everybody in show business last night at Toots Shor’s? | 所有人的面和戈登福特吵了一架? |
| [24:01] | – How in the world did you know? – It made the papers. | -你怎么知道的? -都上报纸了 |
| [24:04] | “The usual ‘you had to be there’ revelry at Toots | “图茨酒吧常见的那种 ‘必体验一次’的狂欢 |
| [24:07] | seemed tame compared to last night’s showdown | “跟昨晚福特先生与他那 话多的女编剧之间的对决相比 |
| [24:11] | between Mr. Ford and his mouthy lady writer.” | “显得平淡无奇” |
| [24:13] | Sounds bad out of context. | -不了解背景的话听着很恶劣 |
| [24:14] | Give me the context. | -那你给我补充背景 |
| [24:16] | He flubbed my joke on air, | 他录节目时念错了我的段子 |
| [24:18] | and I groaned on air, | 我就当场发出了抱怨声 |
| [24:19] | but it was an accidental groan, and I apologized. | 但那是意外 我道歉了 |
| [24:21] | “It was a shocking moment, as late night television’s | “这是一个令人震惊的时刻 |
| [24:23] | boy wonder lost his trademark cool. | 主持深夜节目的青年才俊 “失去了他一贯的冷静 |
| [24:26] | The aforementioned lady writer | “前述女编剧可能 |
| [24:28] | might want to start polishing her résumé, | 得开始润色自己的简历了 |
| [24:30] | in another line of work, | “或许得搬去别的州 |
| [24:32] | in another city, across state lines.” | 在别的城市 找一份别的行业的工作” |
| [24:34] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [24:35] | I am building up quite a scrapbook | 所有关于你的新闻剪报 |
| [24:37] | with all your clippings, you know that? | 都能贴满一本剪贴簿了 |
| [24:38] | Help me out. What-what do I do? Apologize again? | 救救我 我该怎么办?再次道歉? |
| [24:41] | Normally, I’d say yes, | 通常我会说是该再次道歉 |
| [24:42] | but, apparently, you aren’t great at that. | 但显然你不擅长道歉 |
| [24:44] | I mean, I have to go in on Monday, right? | 我周一得去上班 |
| [24:46] | I-I have to show my face. | 对吗?我得露面 |
| [24:48] | Yes, you do, and bring a box. | -是的 |
| [24:49] | A box? Why should I bring a box? | 带个盒子去 -为什么要带盒子? |
| [24:51] | Well, you know, when you get fired, | 被炒掉后得有个盒子装你的东西 |
| [24:53] | you want to have a box to put your stuff in, so bring a nice, big box. | 记得带个大盒子 |
| [24:56] | Well, I don’t have an office, so I don’t have a lot of stuff. | 我又没有办公室 |
| [24:58] | A small box will do. | 一个小盒子就可以了 |
| [24:59] | I am so glad we figured out the size of the box | 我真高兴我们解决了你被炒掉时 |
| [25:02] | you’re gonna bring on Monday when they fire you. | 该带什么盒子的问题 |
| [25:03] | So, you definitely think I’m getting fired? | -你认为我一定会被炒掉? |
| [25:05] | I’ll make some calls. | -我打几个电话打听打听 |
| [25:06] | It’s a Saturday, so all these fuckers | 今天是星期六 |
| [25:08] | are gonna be off golfing or whacking off on their boats. | 那些混蛋都会去打高尔夫 在他们的船上打飞机 |
| [25:11] | – Oh, shit. – What? | -糟了 -怎么了? |
| [25:13] | You think it’s them? To fire me? | 你觉得是他们? |
| [25:15] | Don’t panic. I’ll-I’ll keep you posted. | -不要恐慌 我会及时通知你的 |
| [25:17] | Okay. Bye. | -好的 再见 |
| [25:21] | Susie Myerson and Associates. | 苏西梅尔森事务所 |
| [25:24] | Wait, what? | 等等 什么? |
| [25:26] | Come to where? | 去哪儿? |
| [25:46] | – Who are you? | – Who are you? -你是谁? -你是谁? |
| [25:48] | I’m Susie Myerson. | -我是苏西梅尔森 |
| [25:49] | Get out of here. | -少胡扯了 |
| [25:50] | – No. – You? | 没胡扯 |
| [25:51] | Yeah. Why? | -是你? -对 怎么了? |
| [25:53] | I pictured someone taller, thicker. | 我还以为会是高个的大块头 但是… |
| [25:55] | – Although… – Watch it. | -说话小心点 |
| [25:56] | Now, who the hell are you? | 你到底是谁? |
| [25:57] | Hilarious. | -笑死人了 |
| [25:59] | Thank you for the gift, by the way. Very clever. | 顺便说一句 谢谢你的礼物 非常聪明 |
| [26:01] | – What gift? – The call. | -什么礼物? -那通电话 |
| [26:03] | Someone tells me there’s a gift at my door, | 有人告诉我 |
| [26:06] | courtesy of Susie Myerson and Associates. | 我家门口有一份礼物 是苏西梅尔森事务所送的 |
| [26:08] | I opened the door, and a fleet of cops hauls me off | 我一打开门 |
| [26:11] | for a crime I did not commit. | 就有一队警察 以我没有犯的罪名将我拖走 |
| [26:13] | Oh, that gift. | 是那个礼物啊 不客气 |
| [26:14] | – You’re welcome, Miss… – Molly is dead. | 你贵姓? 莫莉死了 |
| [26:17] | – Who’s Molly? – My Irish associate. | -莫莉是谁? -我的爱尔兰同事 |
| [26:19] | She got the same call, | 她接到了同样的电话 |
| [26:21] | had a heart attack, dropped dead in the kitchen. | 然后心脏病发作 倒地身亡了 |
| [26:22] | – Jesus. – Our Jewish friend | 天啊 |
| [26:24] | is on a plane to Argentina. | 我们的犹太朋友正在 |
| [26:25] | Miss Em is AWOL. | 飞往阿根廷的飞机上 M女士失踪了 |
| [26:27] | Who the fuck are all of you people? | -你们到底是什么人? |
| [26:28] | What do you mean, “who are we”? | -什么意思?我们是什么人? |
| [26:30] | Didn’t Rose Weissman send you? | 不是罗斯韦斯曼派你来的吗? |
| [26:32] | Yes. | 对 |
| [26:34] | Rose sent me. | 是罗斯派我来的 |
| [26:35] | – You sure? – Well, | -你确定吗? |
| [26:37] | who can be sure of anything in life, right? | -谁对生活中的事能那么确定呢? |
| [26:39] | This is bullshit, by the way. | 顺便说一句 这是在胡来 |
| [26:41] | Framing me for a ridiculous tea room fire? | 因为一场可笑的茶室火灾就陷害我? |
| [26:44] | It’s not gonna work. | 你们不会得逞的 |
| [26:45] | Hang on a second, that was you? | 等一下 那是你干的? |
| [26:47] | You burned down the greatest fucking tea room | 是你烧毁了史上最棒的茶室? |
| [26:49] | in the history of tea rooms? | |
| [26:50] | Never mind the tea, have you ever had their whipped cream? | -你吃过他家的鲜奶油吗? |
| [26:52] | – What? – I don’t know what they did to it, | -什么? |
| [26:54] | whether it’s extra cream or extra sugar | 我不知道他们是怎么做的 |
| [26:56] | or a combination of both, | 是额外加了奶油还是糖? |
| [26:57] | maybe it’s the pinch of nutmeg. | 还是两者都额外加了? 也许肉豆蔻是关键 |
| [26:59] | God knows I have tried to make it at home and failed miserably, | 我还在家里试着做过一次 但失败了 |
| [27:02] | but there is something about that whipped cream. | 那种鲜奶油味道真是独特 |
| [27:04] | I hope you get the fucking chair. | 我真希望你会被判电刑 |
| [27:06] | I didn’t realize Rose Weissman had protection. | 我还不知道罗斯有人罩着 |
| [27:09] | Well, she does, | 她有人罩着 |
| [27:10] | and a gun, and she’ll use it. | 而且她还有枪 |
| [27:11] | – She’s not just gonna wave it around or something. – Okay. | 她会动真格的 不只是亮一下而已 |
| [27:14] | Fine. You got me. | 好吧 算你狠 |
| [27:17] | Can we just get down to this, please? | 我们说重点吧 行吗? |
| [27:19] | Down to what? | 什么重点? |
| [27:22] | Rose Weissman can keep the Upper West Side. | 罗斯韦斯曼可以继续占据上西区 |
| [27:25] | She just can’t go above 125th or below 60th. | 但她不能越过125号街和60号街 |
| [27:29] | Now that Molly’s dead, | 既然莫莉死了 |
| [27:30] | she can take Hell’s Kitchen if she wants, | 地狱厨房也可以归她所有 |
| [27:32] | but she better bone up on limericks and the potato famine. | 但她最好学一下作打油诗 |
| [27:34] | What? Not good enough? | 了解一下马铃薯饥荒的历史 怎么?这条件不够好吗? |
| [27:37] | Hey, I’m just the muscle. | 我只是打手 |
| [27:39] | I’ll take it to Rose, see what she says. | 我会把你的话转告罗斯 看她怎么说 |
| [27:41] | Female muscle. Shit. I should have thought of that. | 人妖打手 可恶 我早该想到的 |
| [27:44] | Yeah, they never see you coming. | 谁都不会料到有女人当打手 |
| [27:45] | Well, not you. | -至少你料得到 |
| [27:46] | Well, it’s been a delight. | -好了 很高兴认识你 |
| [27:48] | That outfit suits you, by the way. | 这种衣服很适合你 |
| [27:50] | Some women your age just look silly in stripes. | 跟你同龄的 一些女人穿着条纹衫就显得很傻 |
| [27:52] | Tell Rose Weissman this is a good deal. | 告诉罗斯韦斯曼这笔交易很划算 |
| [27:54] | Hey, if they just booked you, why are you here? | 如果警察才登记你 |
| [27:56] | Why aren’t you in the county jail? | 怎么你没在县监狱关着? |
| [27:59] | I have priors. | 我有前科 |
| [28:08] | So… | -情况这下又不一样了 |
| [28:10] | – this is different. – Can’t believe it. | -我简直不敢相信 |
| [28:12] | He was supposed to help me with her. Instead, | 他本该帮我叫她回去的 |
| [28:14] | he’s taking up two tables over there, | 现在反倒占了两张桌 |
| [28:16] | and she shows up at the door, first thing she does | 她刚一来就要求打折 |
| [28:18] | is ask for a family and friends discount. | |
| [28:19] | Did you give it to her? | -那你给她打折了吗? |
| [28:21] | Well, she’s my mother. | -谁叫她是我妈? |
| [28:22] | Can you believe it? | 你们能相信吗? |
| [28:24] | She’s telling me how to pick a melon? | 她居然教我怎么挑瓜 |
| [28:26] | I can sniff out a ripe melon in Jersey if I had to. | 必要时我都能闻出 在泽西的哪个瓜熟了 |
| [28:30] | You should’ve slapped her face. | -你应该打她一巴掌 |
| [28:31] | I just had a manicure. | -可我才做了美甲 |
| [28:32] | – Prunes do nothing. – They do something for me. | -西梅什么用都没有! -对我有用 |
| [28:35] | Bullshit. It’s got nothing to do with food. | 胡扯 |
| [28:37] | Willpower and a schedule. | 这跟食物无关 重要的是意志力和时间计划 |
| [28:39] | What if you have to be somewhere? What’re you gonna do? | 要是你得去某个地方 你要怎么办? |
| [28:41] | I could pull the fire alarm and clear the place out. | 我可以拉火警 把所有人都轰走 |
| [28:43] | And then they’ll just come back tomorrow with their rabbi, | 他们明天会带着自己的 |
| [28:45] | barber, and canasta club. Oh, good. | 卡纳斯塔牌友又杀回来的 |
| [28:47] | Your dad’s friend pulled a nickel | 真厉害 |
| [28:49] | out of the waitress’s ear again. | 你爸的朋友又从女服务员的 耳朵里掏出了一枚五分硬币 |
| [28:50] | Hey. Hi. What are you guys staring at? | 嘿 你们在看什么? |
| [28:53] | In this corner, | 在这个角落 |
| [28:54] | the undefeated purse snacks champ, Shirley Maisel. | 是钱包零食常胜冠军雪莉梅赛尔 |
| [28:56] | And in that corner, the challenger | 在那个角落 |
| [28:58] | and prune skeptic, Moishe Maisel. | 是挑战者兼西梅怀疑论者莫舍梅赛尔 |
| [29:00] | And they are not together? | -而且他们没有在一起 |
| [29:01] | Not by a long shot. | -绝没有 |
| [29:02] | – So, two bad tippers. – Bye, folks. | 太糟糕了 老帽儿 再见 |
| [29:05] | Come again. Who am I kidding? | 伙计们 下次再来 我在逗谁? |
| [29:07] | Well, sorry that your dreams are coming to an end, | 我为你的梦想即将结束感到抱歉 |
| [29:09] | but before they do, can I get ten minutes | 不过 |
| [29:11] | when the band breaks? An apology | 乐队休息时 可以让我上台表演十分钟吗? |
| [29:13] | and some music lessons would help a lot. | 上几节音乐课会对你们大有帮助! |
| [29:14] | Fuck this shit. | 去你大爷的 |
| [29:16] | You’re on. Moishe, we were | 轮到你了 |
| [29:18] | enjoying the music. Everyone’s so sensitive | -如今每个人都好敏感 |
| [29:19] | – these days. – That’s it? | -就这样? |
| [29:25] | Is the band coming back? | -这些人不是辛纳屈 -乐队还会回来吗? |
| [29:27] | Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. | 晚上好 |
| [29:30] | I’m Mrs. Maisel… Miriam! | 女士们先生们 我是梅赛尔夫人… |
| [29:31] | That’s my former daughter-in-law. Miriam! | 米里亚姆! 那是我前儿媳 米里亚姆! |
| [29:34] | – So pale. – What are you doing up there? | -她脸色好苍白 |
| [29:35] | I’m going to do my act. For who? | -你在上面做什么? 我要做表演 |
| [29:38] | For all the nice people looking very perplexed right now. | 为了谁? 所有现在看起来一脸迷惑的好人 |
| [29:42] | Leave her alone, Shirley. | 别管她 |
| [29:43] | If she wants to try and tell a joke, | 雪莉 |
| [29:45] | let her learn the hard way. | 她想讲段子是吧 让她吃点苦头她才会懂 |
| [29:47] | My butcher is funnier. He’s not funny. | -我买肉的那家屠夫不逗 都比她逗 |
| [29:49] | Nice-looking. She should sing. | -长得不错 她应该去唱歌 |
| [29:50] | I’m not a singer, | 我不是歌手 |
| [29:52] | but I am currently a writer for The Gordon… | 我现在是编剧 在《戈登… |
| [29:54] | Wait, I was distracted. Miriam, start your act again. | 等等 我分心了 从头表演吧 |
| [29:56] | I haven’t really started my act yet, Shirley. | 我还没有开始呢 |
| [29:59] | Trust me, when she starts it, you won’t laugh. | 相信我 她讲段子你不会笑的 |
| [30:00] | Pop, shut up. | -爸 闭嘴 |
| [30:01] | Shut up, he says, the fruit of my loins. | -“闭嘴” 这就是孩子跟爹说的话 |
| [30:03] | If you’re not gonna help, then get out. | 如果你不帮忙 就走吧 |
| [30:05] | I am helping. | 我在帮忙 |
| [30:06] | She needs to rethink this career. | 她得重新考虑这个职业 |
| [30:08] | Who else would tell her? Miriam, | 还有谁会这么告诉她? |
| [30:09] | ignore him. Pretend he’s not there. | 米里亚姆 别理他 假装他不在 |
| [30:12] | Okay, so, I am a single woman living in New York. | 好了 我是住在纽约的单身女性 |
| [30:15] | Me too. | -我也是 |
| [30:16] | You’re not single, Ma. | -你不是单身 妈 |
| [30:18] | – Joel, really? – Sorry. | -乔尔 认真的吗? -抱歉 |
| [30:19] | Have you ladies ever approached a subway station, | 你们女士有没有试过某次进地铁站 |
| [30:22] | and it’s really dark at the bottom of the stairs? | 发现里面真的很黑? |
| [30:23] | They don’t light them properly. | 是工作人员没有好好开灯 |
| [30:25] | That was a rhetorical question, Shirley. | 那是一个反问句 |
| [30:28] | She only asked it to set something up. | 雪莉 |
| [30:30] | Not that it was going anywhere. | 她问这问题只是为了埋包袱 |
| [30:31] | So, the other night, I’m heading down | 有天晚上 |
| [30:32] | these really dark stairs, and… | 我正在走进 黑暗的地铁站… |
| [30:34] | You didn’t have a flashlight? | 你没有手电筒吗?我有两个 |
| [30:35] | I have two. | |
| [30:37] | One for light | 一个用于照明 |
| [30:38] | and one to use as a weapon. | 一个用作武器 |
| [30:41] | She’s so small. – Shirley, you’re blinding me. | 雪莉 你照得我眼都花了 |
| [30:43] | Just like the attacker. That’s good, right? | 就像攻击者一样 不错 对吧? |
| [30:45] | Okay, moving on. | 好了 |
| [30:47] | Uh, yesterday, the principal tells me | 继续 昨天 |
| [30:49] | my son is sleeping during class… | 校长跟我说 我儿子在上课时睡觉 |
| [30:50] | What happened to Ethan? | -伊森怎么了?为什么? |
| [30:51] | – He’s sleeping in class. – Why? | -他在课堂上睡觉 |
| [30:54] | Because he doesn’t drink coffee? I don’t know. | 因为他不喝咖啡? |
| [30:56] | Okay, folks, the show is up here. | 好了 伙计们 请看我这儿的表演 |
| [30:58] | I-I… forgot where I was. | 我忘了我说到哪里了 |
| [31:00] | For the love of God, do not start again. | 看在上帝的份上 别重新说了 |
| [31:02] | Here, I have a joke. | 听着 我有一个段子 |
| [31:04] | Guy walks into a bar | 有个人抱着一个三分米高的 |
| [31:05] | holding a one-foot-tall man playing the piano. | 弹钢琴的男人走进一家酒吧 |
| [31:07] | The bartender says, | 酒保说:“我的魔仆听力一定不好 |
| [31:09] | “My genie must be hard of hearing. | |
| [31:11] | I didn’t ask for a 12-inch pianist.” | “我说的不是要 一个30厘米的钢琴师” |
| [31:14] | Miriam, there you are. | 米里亚姆 你在这儿啊 |
| [31:17] | I have to tell you, I thought you were just terrific up there. | 我必须告诉你 我认为你在台上的表演非常棒 |
| [31:20] | Gee, thank you, Shirley. | 哎呀 谢谢夸奖 雪莉 |
| [31:22] | I enjoyed every minute of it. | 我享受其中的每一分钟 |
| [31:24] | Is this how your shows always go? | 你们的节目总是这样弄的吗? |
| [31:25] | No. Most of the time, I get to tell a joke. | 不 大多数时候 我能完整讲个段子 |
| [31:27] | Really? That’s so interesting. | 是吗?太有趣了 |
| [31:30] | Well, it was a delight. | 真是令人高兴 |
| [31:32] | Listen, while I have you here, | 趁着你在 |
| [31:33] | I need some information from you. | 我有事情问你 |
| [31:35] | – About? – Mei. | -关于什么? |
| [31:36] | Where is she? Joel told me | -梅 她在哪儿? |
| [31:38] | she was interviewing for a doctor job. | 乔尔告诉我 她正在面试一份医生的工作 |
| [31:39] | Yes. She was. | -是的 |
| [31:41] | – How long does that take? – I don’t, I don’t really know. | 没错 -那需要搞多久? |
| [31:44] | How many questions can they ask? When I go to the doctor, | 医院能问多少问题? 我去看医生时 |
| [31:45] | all he does is take my pulse and bum a cigarette. | 他会帮我量脉搏 还会找我要烟抽 |
| [31:48] | Well, I think it’s a bit more involved than that. | 医院面试比那复杂 |
| [31:50] | – So, you do know something. – Me? No. | -所以你知道一些事? -我?不 |
| [31:52] | Just tell me, is she carrying high or low? | 告诉我 她的肚子是圆的还是尖的? |
| [31:57] | I’ve been knitting pink booties and blue booties. | 我现在粉色和蓝色的婴儿袜都在织 |
| [31:59] | I’m completely in the dark. | 完全不知道她怀的是女是男 |
| [32:01] | – Well… – This baby can’t come into the world with cold feet. | 绝不能让宝宝出生时冻着脚丫 |
| [32:03] | What a terrible start. | 人生这么开始可就太糟了 |
| [32:05] | – Shirley… – I’m going crazy, Miriam. | 我要疯了 米里亚姆 |
| [32:07] | Please, just tell me. Something. | -请告诉我一些情况 |
| [32:09] | Anything. | 任何情况都行 |
| [32:10] | I think she went to visit her family. | -她应该是去探望她的家人了 |
| [32:12] | – Where’s her family? – In… China. | -她的家人在哪里? -在中国 |
| [32:14] | Wasn’t there a revolution in China? | -中国不是在搞革命吗? |
| [32:16] | Yes, there was, which is why she’s not back yet. | -是的 所以她到现在还没回来 |
| [32:19] | Did she enlist? | -她是不是参军了? |
| [32:20] | No, it’s just, there’s a lot of red tape. | -没有 是因为要回来得办很多手续 |
| [32:22] | Get it? Never mind. She’ll be home soon. | 明白了吗?没关系 她很快就会回家 |
| [32:24] | Will you excuse me? I-I think I left the… | 我先失陪了 我想我落了一样… |
| [32:31] | You didn’t tell Shirley about Mei, did you? | -你没有告诉雪莉关于梅的事? |
| [32:33] | – Why? – Because she just grilled me in the ladies’ room about Mei. | -问这个干吗? 她刚刚追着我问梅的事 |
| [32:36] | “Why is she gone so long? When is she coming back? | 她为什么不见了?几时回来? |
| [32:38] | Is she carrying high or low?” | 她的肚子是圆的还是尖的? |
| [32:40] | Your mother has a terrible doctor, by the way. | 你妈的医生很差劲 |
| [32:42] | She really needs to see someone else. | 她得换个医生 |
| [32:44] | Anyhow, I was cornered, so I said | 我被逼得没办法了 |
| [32:45] | she was visiting her family in China | 就说她去中国探亲了 |
| [32:47] | and she can’t get out because of the revolution and then I ran. | 又因为那儿闹革命 她出不来 |
| [32:50] | You said Mei was in China? | -你说梅在中国? |
| [32:51] | I didn’t know what to say, Joel. | -我不知道该说啥 乔尔 |
| [32:54] | How is it when other people don’t know what to say, | 不知道该说啥的时候 |
| [32:55] | they say, “I don’t know what to say,” | 别人会直说 |
| [32:56] | but when you don’t know what to say, you say, | 而你却要说她在中国 |
| [32:58] | “She’s in China and can’t get out | 现在出不来 |
| [32:59] | ’cause there’s a revolution.” | 因为那儿在闹革命 |
| [33:00] | – Because I’m an artist, Joel. – Great. | -因为我是个艺人 乔尔 -太好了 |
| [33:02] | Hey, this is not my fault. | 喂 这不是我的错 |
| [33:05] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [33:06] | I’m sorry. It’s mine. I… | 抱歉 是我的错 |
| [33:08] | Really, I’ll fix it. | 真的 我会解决的 |
| [33:09] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [33:11] | Are you gonna fix it now, or should I… | -你是现在就解决还是… |
| [33:13] | Back way’s good. | -走后门出去更好 |
| [33:42] | Why are you grunting? | 你为什么要咕哝? |
| [33:44] | – Did you do this? – You woke me up. Do what? | -是你做的吗? -做什么? |
| [33:46] | Move Ethan off his Saturday sleep mark? | -把伊森从周六的睡觉标记处挪开 |
| [33:48] | He was in the way of the bathroom. | -他挡住了去厕所的路 |
| [33:50] | Well, hop over him. We all agreed, we’d hop. | -我们不是都同意了跳过去的吗? |
| [33:52] | I never agreed to hop. | -我没有同意 |
| [33:53] | Well, then hold it in till morning. | -那就憋到早上再去 |
| [33:54] | You know what? This whole thing is ridiculous. | -你知道吗? 这事太荒谬了 |
| [33:58] | Papa, stop. | 爸爸 住手 |
| [34:00] | He’ll never know he was off his Saturday sleep mark. | 他绝不会知道自己 离开了周六的睡觉标记处 |
| [34:03] | Papa, we are on a path with this | 爸爸 |
| [34:05] | and we need to stick to it. | 这个计划正在进行 得坚持下去 |
| [34:06] | The whole point of this is trust, | 这个计划的重点是信任 |
| [34:08] | and if he wakes up and he’s not where he’s been, | 如果他在别处醒来 |
| [34:10] | he may not know where he is. | 可能都不知道自己正在哪里 |
| [34:11] | He’s lived here all his life. He’ll know where he is. | 他从小到大都住在这里 他会知道他在哪里的 |
| [34:14] | Do not move him off his mark again. Promise me. | 不要再挪动他 答应我 |
| [34:18] | I make no promises. | 我不做任何承诺 |
| [34:22] | Papa. | 爸爸 |
| [34:24] | You claim to be a man of science. | -你自称是相信科学的人 |
| [34:26] | I don’t claim, I am. | -自称?我就是 |
| [34:28] | This is science, and you are the last person | 这就是科学 |
| [34:30] | – who should be doubting it. – Miriam, | 你不应该怀疑它 |
| [34:32] | you know full well I’m experiencing | 米里亚姆 |
| [34:35] | a dark night of the soul | 你很清楚 因为卡罗尔钱宁的事 |
| [34:36] | from this whole Carol Channing thing. | 我正在经历灵魂的黑夜 |
| [34:38] | Please, stop further assassinating my character. | 请停止进一步谋杀我的性格 |
| [34:42] | Remember the cookie? | -还记得饼干的事吗? |
| [34:43] | The cookie? What cookie? | -饼干?什么饼干? |
| [34:44] | When I was seven, you took a black and white cookie | 我七岁时 你把一块饼干 |
| [34:46] | and you broke it into 16 parts, remember? | 分成了16小块 记得吗? |
| [34:49] | – No. – It was a reward system. | -不记得 -那是一个奖励机制 |
| [34:51] | Each time I proved to you I could properly use a semicolon, | 每次我证明我能用对分号时 |
| [34:53] | I got a piece of cookie and then Noah | 你就会奖我一小块饼干 |
| [34:55] | found my cookie pieces and ate them | 当诺亚吃掉我那些小块饼干时 |
| [34:56] | and when I told you what he did, you said, “I don’t want to hear about this. | 你说:“我不想听这事 |
| [34:59] | Work it out amongst yourselves.” | “你们自己解决吧” |
| [35:00] | So? | -然后呢? |
| [35:02] | You abandoned me and my cookie lesson, | -你放弃了我的饼干课 |
| [35:04] | and to this day I have no idea how to use a semicolon. | 直到今天 我都搞不清分号的正确用法 |
| [35:06] | It’s used to indicate a pause, | -分号用来表示暂停 |
| [35:08] | – usually between two… – Too late. | 通常… -太迟了 |
| [35:17] | Do not move him. | 不许挪动他 |
| [35:26] | Mommy? | 妈妈? |
| [35:33] | Hello? | 喂? |
| [35:34] | Whoa, slow down, Pop. | 说慢点 爸 |
| [35:37] | I’m sorry, I didn’t get that last… | 对不起 最后那句我没听懂… |
| [35:39] | What? Pop? Are you in a closet? | 什么?爸 你是在衣柜里吗? |
| [35:43] | Why are you so… | 为什么你这么… |
| [35:45] | I can’t… I don’t… | 我不能…我不… |
| [35:47] | I… I’m coming over. | 我现在就过来 |
| [35:52] | Hello? | 有人吗?妈?爸? |
| [35:54] | Ma? Pop? | |
| [35:57] | Joel! | 乔尔! |
| [36:00] | What are you doing here? | -你怎么来了? |
| [36:01] | Is everything all right? When you called | -你们没事吧? |
| [36:03] | you sounded like you had a bag over your head. | 我听你打电话的声音 以为你脑袋上套着袋子 |
| [36:05] | I thought you’d been kidnapped. | -我以为你被绑架了 |
| [36:06] | No, not kidnapped. | -没有 |
| [36:07] | I did have a bag over my head, though. | 但我脑袋上确实套了袋子 |
| [36:09] | – Why? – Trying to muffle the sound. | -为什么?什么声音? -想要压低声音 |
| [36:11] | – Of what? – Sensitive topics. | -敏感话题的声音 |
| [36:12] | – Neighbors have ears. – Moishe? | 隔墙有耳 -莫舍 |
| [36:15] | It’s okay. It’s my son, Joel. | 没关系 是我儿子乔尔 |
| [36:20] | All right, you’re here. Be useful. | 既然你来了 就帮忙吧 |
| [36:22] | What do you mean, “be useful”? What’s going on here? | 什么意思?帮忙?你们在搞什么? |
| [36:24] | Shh. Why are you yelling? Read the room. | 别嚷嚷 |
| [36:27] | Listen, we’re gonna get her out. | 没感受到这里的气氛吗? 我们要把她救出来 |
| [36:29] | – Get who out? – Your girl. It’s all planned, | -把谁救出来? |
| [36:30] | – just a couple more details. – What’s planned? | -你女友 我们都计划好了 |
| [36:32] | Now, I didn’t want to involve you directly– | 我不想把你卷进来 |
| [36:34] | plausible deniability– but as long as you’re here, | 但既然你来了 |
| [36:36] | – you can answer a few questions. – Pop… | 就回答一些问题吧 |
| [36:38] | Don’t worry. These are the guys | 爸… 不用担心 |
| [36:39] | that got the 13 Jews out of Germany. | 这些人当年 从德国救出来了13个犹太人 |
| [36:42] | – Oh, no. – They are the best. | 他们是最好的 |
| [36:44] | That one there is the original guy’s son. | 那个人是当年一个营救者的儿子 |
| [36:46] | The original guy’s dead | 他有点傻 |
| [36:47] | and the son’s a bit of a yutz, but he has the plane. | 但他有飞机 |
| [36:49] | Pop, I have to talk to you. | 我得跟你谈谈 |
| [36:51] | I know, communication seems very important to you today. | 我知道 你今天好像特别 想要沟通 晚点再说吧 |
| [36:53] | Later. For now, when you say she’s in China… where? | 你说她在中国 具体是在哪里? |
| [36:58] | I mean, I know it’s a big place. I don’t need an address, | 我知道那是一个很大的地方 我不需要地址 |
| [37:01] | – unless you have one. – There’s no address. | 除非你有 没有地址 |
| [37:03] | Okay. Is there a street name, perhaps? | 好的 |
| [37:06] | Or a landmark? Uh, maybe a library nearby? | 那有街道名称或地标吗? 附近有没有图书馆? |
| [37:11] | He’s asking what the weather’s like. They run cold. | 他问你当地什么天气 |
| [37:12] | Really? These guys are the best? | 这些人是最好的? |
| [37:14] | You know a good extraction team that’s just hanging around waiting to extract? | -你认识优秀的撤离队? |
| [37:17] | No. Oh. Mmm. | -不 |
| [37:22] | Shirley, we’re working here. | 雪莉 我们在办正事呢 |
| [37:24] | I don’t see anyone complaining about some fresh Danish, do you? | 我没听见有人埋怨我端来了 新鲜的丹麦面包 你听见了? |
| [37:28] | They’re planning a very sensitive covert mission. | 他们正在计划一项秘密行动 |
| [37:30] | They can’t think with you galloping in and out | 你跟拉着马车似的 |
| [37:32] | like you’re pulling a carriage around Central Park! | 在这里跑来跑去 他们就无法思考 |
| [37:34] | If I’m a horse, then you’re an ass. | 如果我是马 那你就是驴 |
| [37:36] | Okay, enough barnyard animal insults. | 好了 |
| [37:38] | Can you two, please j… | 别拿农场动物骂人了 你俩能不能… |
| [37:51] | There’s something I have to tell you guys. | -有件事我得告诉你们 |
| [37:53] | What’s the matter? | -怎么了? |
| [37:54] | It’s about Mei and me. | 是关于梅和我的 |
| [37:57] | There is no more Mei and me. | 梅和我没戏了 |
| [37:59] | No. Joely, don’t worry, we’re getting her out of China. | 不 别担心 我们会把她从中国救出来的 |
| [38:02] | She’s not in China, Ma. She’s in Chicago. | 她不在中国 妈 她在芝加哥 |
| [38:04] | Oh, well that should be easier. | 那就更容易了 |
| [38:06] | She moved to Chicago, Ma. | 她搬去芝加哥了 |
| [38:08] | – But… – The-the baby. | -但是… -宝宝的事… |
| [38:12] | There’s no baby anymore. | -没有宝宝了 |
| [38:14] | Oh, no. Oh, Joel. | -不 乔尔 |
| [38:16] | She lost it? | 她流产了? |
| [38:19] | Yeah. She lost it. | 是的 她流产了 |
| [38:20] | I’m so sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [38:22] | Oh, honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [38:24] | But you can try again when you get married. | 但你们结婚后可以再怀一个 |
| [38:27] | We’re not getting married, Ma. | 我们不会结婚 妈 |
| [38:33] | – Are you okay? – Sure. | 你没事吧? 没事 |
| [38:35] | Would you like something to eat? There’s so much food. | 你想吃点东西吗? 我做了很多吃的 |
| [38:39] | – So much food. – No. | -做了很多 -不吃了 |
| [38:40] | Thank you. I have work to do. | 谢谢 我要去工作了 |
| [38:44] | I’m gonna make you a to-go package. | -我给你打包一些带走 |
| [38:46] | I better tell the boys. | -我跟伙计们说一声 |
| [39:02] | It was supposed to come in today. They said they mailed it. | 他今天应该来的 |
| [39:05] | Uh… | 他们说… |
| [39:10] | The Gordon Ford Show. | 这里是《戈登福特秀》 |
| [39:12] | Yes, you are right. | 是的 是我们 |
| [39:15] | Thank you for bringing that to our attention. | 感谢你告诉我们 |
| [39:17] | Thank you. Thank you. Oh, good. | 很好 |
| [39:20] | You brought a box. | 带了盒子来 |
| [39:21] | Everyone to the railing. | -大家到栏杆边集合 |
| [39:23] | To the railing, people. Railing, guys. | -到栏杆边集合 伙计们 |
| [39:25] | All right, listen, guys, | 伙计们 |
| [39:26] | we have too many relatives coming to the shows. | 有太多亲戚要来我们的节目 |
| [39:28] | Mothers, brothers, uncles, aunts. | 母亲们、兄弟们、姨姑舅伯 |
| [39:30] | They’re not the best laughers. | 他们不是很会笑 |
| [39:32] | – Show some restraint? – Yes, Mr. Ford. – You got it. | -你们克制一下 -好的 福特先生 |
| [39:34] | Got couple other things we got to deal with, too. | 另外还有别的事 |
| [39:37] | Morning, all. | 大家早 |
| [39:40] | Look who’s here. Okay, | -瞧谁来了 -好的 |
| [39:42] | looks like George brought a few of the network bigwigs | 乔治带了电视网的几位大佬 |
| [39:44] | down for an unexpected visit. | 突然造访这里 |
| [39:46] | Hello, Charlie. Hello, Isaac. | 哈喽 查理 哈喽 艾泽克 |
| [39:47] | Hello, third person I don’t know. | -第三位我不知道尊姓大名 |
| [39:48] | Syd Greenberg, Mr. Ford. | -我是西德格林伯格 |
| [39:50] | This is a friendly ambush, we swear. | 我们发誓 这是一次带着善意的伏击 |
| [39:52] | Not sure there is such a thing. | 我不确定有这种伏击 |
| [39:54] | Come on up. | 上来吧 |
| [39:55] | We’ll finish this later. | 稍后再来说别的事 |
| [40:05] | The young bears seen here | 画面中的小熊不只是在打闹 |
| [40:06] | are not just play-fighting, | |
| [40:08] | they’re learning necessary defensive skills. | 它们正在学习必要的防御手段 |
| [40:10] | – Throughout the first… – Ethan. | -从头到尾… |
| [40:12] | Time for bed. | -伊森?该睡了 |
| [40:14] | I sleep in spot number three tonight. | 今晚我睡第三个标记处 |
| [40:17] | How about sleeping in your bed tonight? | 今晚睡在你的床上怎么样? |
| [40:20] | My therapist says I’m not ready yet. | 心理治疗师说我还没准备好 |
| [40:22] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [40:25] | After that… | 好吧 |
| [40:28] | Okay, now, Ethan. | 伊森 |
| [40:33] | Look at me and not at the bear on TV. Up here. | 看着我 别看电视上的熊 |
| [40:36] | Hello. Now, Ethan, | 看这儿 看着我 伊森 |
| [40:38] | we must discuss | 我们必须讨论一下 |
| [40:40] | the rationale behind your sleeping in the hallway, | 你睡在走廊里的理由 |
| [40:43] | or the very lack of it, actually. | 或者不睡那儿的理由 |
| [40:46] | I understand that, for some reason, | 我知道 |
| [40:48] | you are afraid of your bed. | 出于某种原因 你害怕睡你的床 |
| [40:50] | Well, you should know that fear | 你应该知道恐惧是很自然的 |
| [40:52] | is very natural. | |
| [40:54] | It’s there to help you survive. | 恐惧能帮助你生存 |
| [40:57] | It tells you to run when something large with teeth | 当长着牙齿的大东西要吃你时 |
| [41:01] | is going to eat you, | 恐惧会告诉你快跑 |
| [41:02] | or to duck when a rock has been thrown at your head. | 当一块石头朝你头上扔过来时 恐惧会告诉你快闪开 |
| [41:05] | And there are so many things in this life | 生活中有很多事情 |
| [41:08] | to be legitimately afraid of. | 都有必要的理由去害怕 |
| [41:13] | Have you heard of Park Slope? | -你听说过斜坡公园吗? |
| [41:14] | – No. – Recently, | -没有 |
| [41:16] | a United Airlines airplane | 最近一架联合航空公司的飞机 |
| [41:18] | and a Trans World airplane | 和一架环球航空的飞机 |
| [41:21] | collided in midair, just… | 在半空中相撞了 |
| [41:23] | flew right into each other, | 正对着彼此相撞的 |
| [41:25] | and the wreckage rained down | 残骸如雨点般 |
| [41:28] | onto a Park Slope intersection, | 落在斜坡公园的十字路口 |
| [41:30] | killing every passenger on board | 机上所有乘客 |
| [41:32] | and six people on the ground. | 和地面上的六个人都死了 |
| [41:34] | Six people just walking down the street, | 那六个人只是在街上走着 |
| [41:37] | going to the market or to school | 可能是要去市场 |
| [41:40] | or the movies, got instantly crushed | 去上学 |
| [41:43] | by falling pieces of flaming metal | 或去看电影 他们被掉落的燃烧金属碎片 |
| [41:46] | and various arms | 以及原本完好无损的身体上的 |
| [41:47] | and legs and torsos | 各种手臂、腿和躯干立即砸死了 |
| [41:49] | from previously intact bodies. | -那很可怕 |
| [41:52] | That’s pretty scary, right? | 对吧? |
| [41:54] | – Yes. – Yes, it is. | -是的 |
| [41:56] | There are wars, | 是的 |
| [41:58] | floods, sometimes tigers escape from the zoo. | 这世上有战争、洪水… 有时老虎会从动物园跑出来 |
| [42:02] | Lightning can strike you, even on a sunny day. | 即使在晴天都有人被闪电击中 |
| [42:05] | You could eat bad clams and be evacuating | 你还可能吃到坏了的蛤蜊 |
| [42:08] | from every orifice in your body for a week. | 害得你连续一周上吐下泻 |
| [42:11] | – But I hate clams. – Hating clams won’t keep you safe, Ethan. | -可我讨厌蛤蜊 -讨厌蛤蜊也不能保证你一直安全 |
| [42:15] | Y-You could fall down a well that you never knew was there. | 你可能会掉进一口你没看见的井里 |
| [42:18] | Go flying through a windshield | 你爸爸刹车太快时 |
| [42:20] | when your daddy stops too fast. | 你可能会从挡风玻璃里飞出去 |
| [42:22] | You could accidentally spell | 你可能会不小心 |
| [42:25] | Carol Channing’s name wrong | 把卡罗尔钱宁的名字拼错 |
| [42:28] | and instantly become a man who must be apologized for… | 害得别人要因此为你的错误道歉 |
| [42:33] | in print. | 在报刊上道歉 |
| [42:34] | Yes. | 明白吗? |
| [42:36] | Yes, I think you’re beginning | 我觉得你可能开始听懂 |
| [42:37] | to understand what I’m telling you. | 我跟你说的这番话了 |
| [42:39] | It’s time you learn to live with fear. | 你现在该学习怎么忍受恐惧 |
| [42:43] | To accept it’s there, | 接受它的存在了 |
| [42:44] | and there is not enough tape in the world | 世界上没有足够的胶带 |
| [42:47] | to keep you safe. | 来保证你的安全 |
| [42:49] | And though your mommy and your daddy | 虽然你的妈妈和爸爸 |
| [42:51] | and possibly even your therapist | 甚至你的心理治疗师本意都好 |
| [42:53] | mean well by making you think | 他们希望你会认为睡在地板上 |
| [42:55] | that sleeping on the floor is a mark of being a big brave boy, | 就说明你是一个勇敢的大男孩 |
| [43:00] | your grandpa is here to tell you | 但姥爷要告诉你 |
| [43:03] | death comes for all of us, | 死亡会降临我们所有人身上 |
| [43:06] | even the brave. | 勇敢的人也逃不过 |
| [43:10] | Now, | 现在你想让我给你读睡前故事吗? |
| [43:12] | would you like me to read you a bedtime story? | |
| [43:13] | How has | |
| [43:15] | working with Thelonious Monk influenced how you play? | 与塞隆尼斯孟克合作 对你的演奏有何影响? |
| [43:18] | Well, no one hits the keys like Thelonious. | 没人能像塞隆尼斯那样敲击键盘 |
| [43:19] | – No, no argument here. – He finds notes | -毫无争议 |
| [43:22] | I didn’t even know existed, | -他发现了我从未意识到的音调 |
| [43:23] | and I can’t say I haven’t borrowed a few over the years. | 我不能说这些年来 |
| [43:25] | Well, what with Blue Train | 我从没借用过其中一些 |
| [43:27] | and Giant Steps, | 你的《蓝火车》跟《巨人的脚步》 |
| [43:29] | you’ve been hitting all the right notes lately, John. | 证明你一直在朝着正确方向迈进 |
| [43:30] | Thank you so much for being here tonight. | 非常感谢你来我的节目 |
| [43:32] | Ladies and gentlemen, the great John Coltrane. | 伟大的约翰柯川 等一下 |
| [43:38] | Yeah. Oh. Hold it, everybody. | 各位 |
| [43:39] | I got a little announcement to make. As of this week, | 有件事我要宣布 本周 |
| [43:42] | The Gordon Ford Show is the number one | 《戈登福特秀》是全国 |
| [43:45] | talk show in the country. | 收视率第一的脱口秀节目 |
| [43:49] | Yes! Yes. | 收视率第一名!好样的!耶! |
| [43:52] | I have you, my viewers, | 我要感谢你们 我的观众 |
| [43:54] | to thank for that. Bring it out here, guys. | 把东西推出来 伙计们 |
| [44:01] | Now, ladies and gentlemen, I don’t thank them enough, | 我对我的员工、工作人员、编剧 感激不尽 |
| [44:03] | my staff, my crew, my writers. Come on out here, guys. | 上来吧 伙计们 |
| [44:08] | They are the best in the business. | 他们是业内最棒的 |
| [44:11] | I would not be here tonight without them. | 没有他们 我无法取得如今的成绩 |
| [44:13] | Grab some champagne, everybody, | 大家都来喝香槟 |
| [44:15] | and grab some at home, folks. | 在家的拿出香槟庆祝吧 |
| [44:17] | We’ll see you tomorrow. | 我们明天见 |
| [44:24] | What are we thinking, Toots Shor’s? | -怎么样?去图茨肖尔吗? |
| [44:26] | – We can’t all fit into Toots Shor’s. – Ooh. | -那儿容纳不了我们所有人 |
| [44:28] | Ah, forget Toots Shor’s. I know the perfect place. ♪ Why, why, why, why ♪ ♪ Soundtrack to me, why, why, why… ♪ | 不去图茨肖尔 |
| [44:49] | Oh, my God. Whoo! ♪ Why, why, why… ♪ Hey! | 我知道一个完美的地方 |
| [44:59] | ♪ Why, why, why… ♪ Whoo! | 天啊! |
| [45:09] | You guys are crazy. | 你们疯了 |
| [45:10] | Come on down here. It’s a party. | -下来吧 |
| [45:12] | You’re not Jack Paar spies, are you? | 这里在办派对 |
| [45:15] | Hey, hey. ♪ May God bless you, have your fun… ♪ | -你们不是杰克帕尔派来的间谍吧? |
| [45:27] | Hey. Miriam. | 嘿 |
| [45:30] | Miriam! | 米里亚姆! |
| [45:32] | What is all this? | -这是什么情况? |
| [45:33] | We’re number one. | -我们是第一名! |
| [45:35] | – What? – Well, they are. I might be. | -什么? -他们是第一名 我有可能也是 |
| [45:37] | – What? – I’m not sure yet. | -什么? -我还不确定 |
| [45:39] | What? | -什么? -这儿有人拿了第一名 |
| [45:40] | Someone down here is number one. | -什么? -这儿有人拿了第一名 |
| [45:43] | – What?! – Jesus Christ. | 什么? |
| [45:45] | Come down here. | 你下来 |
| [45:53] | We’re number one. | 我们收视率是第一名 |
| [45:54] | Gordon announced it at the end of the show. | 戈登宣布的 |
| [45:56] | Wow, they did it. They really did it. | 哇 真不赖啊 |
| [45:57] | Hey, Maisel, get out here. | -嘿 梅赛尔 |
| [45:59] | Are-are you sure? | 出去 -你确定吗? |
| [46:01] | – Well, you’re on skates. – Oh, no, | 你穿了溜冰鞋 |
| [46:03] | I wore these to the office today. This is fashion. | 不 |
| [46:06] | Yippee! | 我今天是穿着 |
| [46:07] | Guess you’re not fired. | 溜冰鞋上班的 这是新时尚 |
| [46:09] | Guess not. | -看来你没被炒鱿鱼 -看来是 |
| [46:11] | Can you skate or is this really fashion? | 你会滑冰吗? 还是说这真是新时尚? |
| [46:13] | Well, seriously, it’s less nuts | 这身衣服不像 |
| [46:14] | than a lot of your other getups. | 你许多其它的打扮那样夸张 |
| [46:15] | I’ll have you know I played a magic snowball | 我在哈达萨妇女犹太复国主义盛会上 |
| [46:18] | in the Hadassah Women’s Zionist Organization winter pageant, | 扮演了一个神奇雪球 |
| [46:20] | and Sonja Henie was there, | 索尼娅赫尼当时在场 |
| [46:22] | and she strongly encouraged my parents to get me some lessons. | 她强烈建议我父母送我去上滑冰课呢 |
| [46:24] | Yeah, that’s not a compliment. Fine. | 那可不是称赞 -好吧 |
| [46:26] | – You watch. – I’m watching. | 你自己瞧 -我瞧着呢 |
| [46:27] | Number one, Gordon! | -我们是第一名 |
| [46:29] | We’re number one! | 兄弟们! |
| [46:40] | There you go. | -我们是第一名! |
| [46:59] | Too cool for skates? | 太酷了所以不滑冰? |
| [47:02] | Not anymore, apparently. | 显然再也酷不起来了 |
| [47:04] | – Need a medic? – Thanks, I’m good. | -需要医生吗? -谢谢 我没事 |
| [47:06] | I was a candy striper in college, | 我大学时在医院当过义工 |
| [47:08] | so I have some medical skills. | 所以懂一点医术 |
| [47:09] | They called me the Enema Queen. | -医院的人叫我灌肠女王 |
| [47:11] | Well, I don’t need one of those, but if I ever do… | -我不需要 |
| [47:13] | You’re making me dizzy. | 但如果哪天需要… |
| [47:16] | Oh, if I had a nickel… | -你转得我头都晕了 -经常听人这么跟我说 |
| [47:19] | Okay, all right, maybe I need a little bit of help. | -也许我需要一点帮助 |
| [47:21] | Glad to be of service. | -很高兴为您服务 |
| [47:23] | Ooh! What was that? | -怎么回事? |
| [47:25] | What do you think? | -你觉得呢? |
| [47:26] | I… think you tried to kiss me. | -我觉得你是想亲我 |
| [47:28] | Yeah, that’s pretty much what that was. | -差不多是这样 |
| [47:30] | Didn’t stick the landing, though. | -只是着陆后没能停留 |
| [47:32] | I’m sorry, but don’t you hate me? | -你难道不讨厌我? |
| [47:34] | How could I hate those eyes, those lips? | -我怎会讨厌那双眼睛?那双嘴唇? |
| [47:36] | Toots Shor’s. I yelled at you, a lot. | -可我在酒吧吼过你 还吼了多次 |
| [47:38] | Are you kidding? That was fantastic. | 那事太棒了 |
| [47:40] | It was Tracy-Hepburn. | 堪比屈塞跟赫本 |
| [47:41] | Loy and Powell. Robinson-La Motta. | 洛伊跟鲍威尔 罗宾逊跟拉莫塔 |
| [47:43] | In the paper it was more like, “Insubordinate nobody | 报纸上写得更像是“不服从的小人物 |
| [47:45] | yells at major TV personality.” | 对电视名人大喊大叫” |
| [47:47] | Look at us now, number one. | 看看现在 收视率第一名 |
| [47:50] | I won that argument, by the way. | -顺便说一下 |
| [47:51] | Oh, but that’s… | 那场争论我赢了 -但那不是… |
| [47:54] | – Biting your tongue? – No. | -咬到了舌头? -没有 |
| [47:56] | – Well, then can I? – Aren’t you married? | -那我可以咬吗? -你不是结婚了吗? |
| [47:58] | I’m not that kind of married. | 不是那种结婚 |
| [47:59] | Mm, I think that’s what my husband | 我老公在我们离婚前 |
| [48:01] | told his girlfriend before he became my ex-husband. | 跟他女朋友估计也是这么说的 |
| [48:03] | He sounds like a cad. | 他听上去像是个渣男 |
| [48:07] | Your butt getting cold? | 你的屁股凉了吗? |
| [48:08] | I’ll admit, I can’t feel it, | 说实话 我已经感觉不出来了 |
| [48:10] | but you can, if you want. | 如果你想的话 可以来感觉一下 |
| [48:11] | And with that, she skated off into the sunset. | 就这样 她溜进了夕阳中 |
| [48:24] | This is a sight I never thought I’d see. | 这幅景象我可从没想过能见到 |
| [48:26] | Yeah, well, Sonja Henie told me to take lessons, too. | 索尼娅赫尼也跟我说过让我去上课 |
| [48:29] | I told her to suck it, Norwegian style. | 我跟她说我才不喜欢挪威风格 |
| [48:31] | And I got to hit the john. | -我得去上厕所了 |
| [48:33] | There’s one by the skate rental. | -出租冰鞋的地方有厕所 |
| [48:34] | A toilet that’s been peed on by a million little kids | 一个被不能及时脱掉紧身衣的 |
| [48:36] | who can’t get their tights down in time? No thanks. | 小孩们撒过尿的马桶? 不用了 |
| [48:39] | I’ll find something sanitary. | 谢谢 我去找个干净的 |
| [48:55] | Mike, you seen George? | 迈克 你看到乔治了吗? |
| [48:56] | I’ve looked all over. He needs to sign this. | 我四处都没找见他 他得签这个 |
| [48:58] | Yeah, bet he does. Gimme. | 想必是的 给我 |
| [49:02] | Been forging George’s goddamn signature | 十年来我一直在伪造乔治该死的签名 |
| [49:04] | for ten goddamn years. | |
| [49:06] | Illegible G, loopy R. | “G”要写得难以辨认 “R”要有几个圈 |
| [49:11] | – Hey there, Mike. – I just want to know, | 嘿 迈克 |
| [49:13] | is yours the last face I’ll see in this life? | 我真好奇 你会不会是 我此生最后一次看见的面孔? |
| [49:16] | I just wanted to say congratulations. | 我只是想跟你道喜 |
| [49:18] | Not bad, number one. | 不错嘛 第一名 |
| [49:19] | Yeah, doesn’t stink. | -还不赖 |
| [49:21] | Why aren’t you celebrating? | -你为什么没去庆祝? |
| [49:22] | I booked Truman Capote | 我预订了楚门卡波特下周来 |
| [49:25] | for next week, but he’s doing Jack Paar this week, | 但他这周要去杰克帕尔的节目 |
| [49:27] | so I got to cancel ’cause we got a rule. | 所以我得取消他的预订 因为我们有规定 |
| [49:28] | And Doris Day’s ostrich got sick, so she postponed. | 多丽丝戴的鸵鸟病了 |
| [49:32] | Yeah, she’s got an ostrich. | 所以她把时间推迟了 她有只鸵鸟 |
| [49:33] | And the British band that I don’t even like fell out | 我不喜欢的一支英国乐队取消了预订 |
| [49:35] | because their drummer died in a hot air balloon accident. | 因为他们的鼓手死了 |
| [49:37] | My talent board is a mess, | 我的演艺人才名单现在一团糟 |
| [49:40] | and my talent board is all I care about. | 我只关心这个名单 |
| [49:42] | Well, that and the Christmas tree lot. | -还有你的圣诞树地块 |
| [49:43] | It’s a farm, not a lot. | -是农场 不是地块 |
| [49:44] | I stand corrected. | 我承认我说错了 |
| [49:47] | You know, we’re bringing Sophie Lennon back this week. | 你知道吗?我们这周 要把苏菲列侬请回来 |
| [49:49] | I did not know. | 我不知道 |
| [49:52] | She’s a good guest. | 她是一位不错的嘉宾 |
| [49:53] | People tune in for her, so… thanks. | 很受观众喜爱 所以谢谢你 |
| [49:56] | I’m sorry, little louder? | 不好意思 能说大点声吗? |
| [49:58] | You really drop her? | 你把她弄上那个游戏节目后 |
| [50:00] | After getting her on that game show? All that’s true? | 真的就放弃她了? |
| [50:02] | I have my priorities. | -我有优先要考虑的艺人 |
| [50:04] | What about the money? | -那钱呢? |
| [50:05] | Money comes, money goes. | 钱能赚也能失 |
| [50:08] | Let’s lunch next week, | 下周一起吃个午饭吧 |
| [50:10] | if you’re available. | 如果你有空的话 |
| [50:11] | Really? A real lunch? | -真的?是真正的午餐? |
| [50:13] | Yeah, a real lunch. | -是的 真正的午餐 |
| [50:14] | I don’t have to make it? Someone else will? | -不用我做吧? |
| [50:16] | – Yes. – And it’s not lunch | -是的 |
| [50:17] | where I show up, and you say, “Fuck off, | 不是那种我一到场 你就会说“滚开 |
| [50:20] | – keep walking”? – Closing my door now. | 往前走”的午餐? 我要关门了 |
| [50:21] | My girl’ll call your girl. – ♪ I love the way ♪ – ♪ I kinda like ♪ | 我的助手到时会给你的助手打电话 |
| [51:20] | ♪ You say ♪ – ♪ The way you always say ♪ – ♪ Good night ♪ ♪ The way you always whisper ♪ ♪ Honey, nighty night ♪ ♪ I kinda like the way you mumble ♪ ♪ While you fumble for the key ♪ ♪ Mmm ♪ | 苏菲列侬 |
| [51:35] | ♪ More time for kissing me… – ♪ I love the way ♪ – ♪ I kinda like the way ♪ – ♪ You say ♪ – ♪ The extraordinary way ♪ – ♪ Good night ♪ – ♪ The way you always… ♪ | 多丽丝戴 |
| [51:44] | Ethan. | 伊森 |
| [51:47] | You’re supposed to be on spot three tonight. | 你今晚应该睡在三号位 |
| [51:49] | Did you know about the Park Slope plane crash? | 你知道斜坡公园的 飞机失事事件吗? |
| [51:52] | Been spending time with Grandpa? | -跟姥爷聊过天? |
| [51:54] | He told me about the torsos. | -他跟我说了躯干的事 |
| [51:56] | Yep. | 嗯 |
| [51:57] | And tigers escape from zoos | 还有逃离动物园的老虎 |
| [51:59] | and get hit by lightning. | 还有人被闪电击中的事 |
| [52:01] | Go to sleep, baby. I’ll keep the tigers out. | 睡吧 宝贝 我会把老虎挡在外面的 |
| [52:03] | – And the torsos? – And the torsos. ♪ I kinda like the way ♪ – ♪ The extraordinary way ♪ – ♪ You say ♪ ♪ Good night ♪ | -也要挡住躯干 |
| [52:11] | ♪ The way you always say don’t go ♪ – ♪ Just hold me tight ♪ – ♪ I kinda like the way ♪ ♪ You linger with your finger on the bell ♪ ♪ Mmm ♪ ♪ More kisses, and they’re swell ♪ | -也会挡住躯干 |
| [52:25] | ♪ When you say ♪ ♪ Got to get home by 12:00 ♪ ♪ I always say ♪ ♪ Let’s go ♪ ♪ But you can take ♪ ♪ Longer to say good night ♪ ♪ Than any three others I know ♪ | 请进 |
| [52:43] | – ♪ I love the way ♪ | – ♪ I love the way ♪ |
| [52:45] | – | – ♪ You say ♪ ♪ Good night ♪ |
| [52:48] | ♪ | ♪ The way you got me ♪ ♪ Flying higher than a kite ♪ |
| [52:53] | You ♪ I like the way you snuggle ♪ ♪ While you juggle with your comb ♪ ♪ Mmm ♪ | |
| [52:59] | say ♪ It looks as though ♪ ♪ We’re never going home ♪ Yup. | |
| [53:17] | ♪ ♪ When Sunny gets blue ♪ ♪ Her eyes… | |
| [53:25] | Moishe… | 莫舍… |
| [53:27] | ♪ Then the rain begins to fall ♪ | |
| [53:31] | ♪ Pitter patter, pitter patter ♪ | |
| [53:35] | ♪ Love is gone so what can matter ♪ | |
| [53:39] | ♪ No sweet loving man ♪ | |
| [53:41] | ♪ Comes to call ♪ | |
| [53:45] | ♪ When Sunny gets blue ♪ | |
| [53:48] | ♪ She breathes a sigh of sadness ♪ | |
| [53:53] | ♪ Like the wind that stirs the trees ♪ | |
| [54:00] | ♪ Hurry, new love, hurry here ♪ | |
| [54:04] | ♪ To kiss away each lonely tear ♪ | |
| [54:07] | ♪ And hold her near ♪ | |
| [54:11] | ♪ When Sunny ♪ | |
| [54:15] | ♪ Gets blue ♪ | |
| [54:39] | ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ | |
| [54:42] | ♪ Whoo ♪ | |
| [54:44] | ♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ | |
| [54:47] | ♪ Who do you think you are ♪ | |
| [54:49] | ♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ | |
| [54:52] | ♪ You’re never gonna get my love ♪ | |
| [54:55] | ♪ Now because you wear ♪ | |
| [54:58] | – ♪ All those fancy clothes ♪ – ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ | |
| [55:00] | ♪ And have a big fine car, oh, yes, you do now ♪ | |
| [55:05] | ♪ Do you think I can afford ♪ | |
| [55:08] | – ♪ To give you my love ♪ – ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ | |
| [55:10] | ♪ You think you’re higher ♪ | |
| [55:13] | ♪ Than every star above ♪ | |
| [55:15] | ♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ | |
| [55:18] | ♪ Who do you think you are ♪ | |
| [55:20] | ♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ | |
| [55:23] | ♪ You’re never gonna get my love ♪ | |
| [55:26] | ♪ Now, I know all the girls ♪ | |
| [55:29] | ♪ I’ve seen you with ♪ | |
| [55:31] | ♪ I know you broke their hearts, one after another now ♪ | |
| [55:34] | ♪ Bit by bit ♪ | |
| [55:36] | ♪ You made them cry ♪ | |
| [55:39] | ♪ Many poor girls cry ♪ | |
| [55:42] | ♪ When they try to keep you happy ♪ | |
| [55:44] | ♪ They just try to keep you satisfied ♪ | |
| [55:46] | ♪ Mr. Big Stuff, tell me, tell me ♪ | |
| [55:49] | ♪ Who do you think you are ♪ | |
| [55:51] | ♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ | |
| [55:53] | ♪ You’re never gonna get my love ♪ | |
| [56:06] | ♪ Mr. Big Stuff, tell me ♪ | |
| [56:09] | ♪ Who do you think you are ♪ | |
| [56:11] | ♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ | |
| [56:14] | ♪ You’re never gonna get my love ♪ | |
| [56:17] | ♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ | 创意监督 |
| [56:20] | ♪ You’re never gonna break my heart ♪ ♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪ | 朝思 |