| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:08] | I just broke up with someone. | -我刚刚和某人分手了 -是保罗西蒙! |
| [00:09] | Paul Simon! | 1985年 |
| [00:10] | That was two tiny singer-songwriters ago. | 那是我跟俩不知名创作歌手 |
| [00:12] | – Catch up! | 谈恋爱之前的事了 |
| [00:13] | – Prince! – Hall Oates! | 你还不知道? |
| [00:15] | Oh. Now, stop. This was a woman. | 好了 安静 |
| [00:17] | – Don’t. | 这次这位是个女人 别闹 |
| [00:20] | And it was a real partnership. | 我跟她是真正的合作伙伴关系 |
| [00:22] | Lasted longer than any of my marriages combined. | 持续时间 比我所有的婚姻加起来都长 |
| [00:25] | – And in its way, it was just like a marriage. | 某种意义上 这段关系就像一场婚姻 |
| [00:28] | It started with a contract, it ended with a lawsuit, | 从一份契约开始 |
| [00:30] | – and we never had sex. | 以打官司结束 但我们从未发生过性关系 |
| [00:32] | Except once, there really isn’t much to do in Pensacola. | 只发生过一次 那次在彭萨科拉大家实在无事可做 |
| [00:35] | It really sucks to break up with me. | 和我分手真的很糟糕 |
| [00:38] | No, seriously, my face is on billboards. | 我是说真的 我的脸常出现在广告牌上 |
| [00:41] | You break up with a normal person, | 你和一个普通人分手 |
| [00:43] | maybe you can’t go back to your favorite restaurant. | 后果也许只是 再也不能去你最喜欢的餐厅 |
| [00:45] | You break up with me, you can’t use the highway. | 你跟我分手 那你再也不能上高速公路了 |
| [00:49] | She was a friend. | 她曾是我的朋友 |
| [00:52] | We always fought over that word, “friend.” | 我们经常为了“朋友”这个词吵架 |
| [00:57] | But I dumped her and got a fifth dog. | 但我甩了她 养了第五只狗 |
| [00:59] | Still a bitch, but at least this one’ll fetch my shoes. | 依然是只母狗 |
| [01:06] | ♪ I got frostbitten in the winter ♪ | 但至少这只会帮我拿鞋 |
| [01:07] | ♪ Ice skating on the river ♪ | 神奇的梅赛尔太太 |
| [01:09] | She’s not gonna be happy. | 纽约市 |
| [01:11] | ♪ With my pretty little black-eyed girl ♪ | 1990年 |
| [01:14] | ♪ She’d make your darn toes curl just to see her, yeah ♪ | 她不会高兴的 |
| [01:18] | ♪ I got a fringe front on my buggy ♪ | 修道士俱乐部 |
| [01:21] | – ♪ I got a pretty little… | 预留车位 |
| [01:23] | Betty Botter bought some butter, | 八百标兵奔北坡 |
| [01:24] | but she said the butter’s bitter. | 北坡八百炮兵炮 |
| [01:25] | Betty Botter bought some butter, but she said | 八百标兵奔北坡 北坡八百炮兵炮 |
| [01:26] | the butter’s bitter. Sounds bueno, boys. | 可以吗 伙计们? |
| [01:29] | Steve Martin is my favorite. | 史蒂夫马丁是我的最爱 |
| [01:31] | “Excuuuuse me!” | “不好意思!” |
| [01:33] | George Carlin, with the seven dirty words? Really funny. | 说七大脏词的那个乔治卡林? 他好逗 |
| [01:35] | Robin Williams, too. Like the Tasmanian Devil. | 罗宾威廉姆斯也是 像大嘴怪一样 |
| [01:39] | Who the hell is this? | 这人是谁? |
| [01:41] | No idea. | 不知道 |
| [01:42] | ♪ Living with her funky family ♪ | 斯图尔特琼斯 |
| [01:44] | ♪ In a derelict old alley ♪ | “戏谑大师” |
| [01:47] | ♪ Down by the river… | 亚伦莱博维茨 “敌对证人” |
| [01:50] | Put ’em up. | 把手举起来! |
| [01:51] | ♪ In the moonshine ♪ | 本尼 (未获邀) |
| [01:53] | Fifty bucks she doesn’t show. | 跟你赌五十美金 她不会来 |
| [01:55] | She doesn’t show, fuck it. I’m mentioning Maisel. | 她不会来? 妈的 我说的是梅赛尔 |
| [01:58] | So fearless, dude. | 你真是无畏 伙计 |
| [01:59] | ♪ Well, she knows how to use me ♪ | 雷奥蒂斯 “终结者” |
| [02:02] | ♪ Pretty little black-eyed Susie… | 卡迈恩斯骓托 “锤子” |
| [02:06] | It’s a veritable who’s who of people behind the scenes | 前来的都是娱乐行业 |
| [02:08] | in the entertainment industry gathering here | 名副其实的幕后大腕 |
| [02:10] | to roast one of their own. | 他们齐聚这里 |
| [02:12] | ♪ Living with her funky family ♪ | 准备戏谑一位同行 |
| [02:15] | ♪ In a derelict old alley ♪ | 迈克卡尔 |
| [02:18] | – ♪ Down by the river… | “院长” |
| [02:20] | Move! | 让开 |
| [02:22] | ♪ In the moonshine ♪ | |
| [02:28] | – ♪ Well, she sure knows how to use me ♪ | |
| [02:32] | ♪ Pretty little black-eyed Susie ♪ | |
| [02:34] | It’s the one shot we came here to get. Great job, guys. ♪ In a derelict old alley ♪ | 我来这儿就为了拍她 |
| [02:48] | ♪ Down by the river ♪ ♪ Where we share a little loving ♪ ♪ In the moonshine ♪♪ | 这可好 |
| [02:53] | So, we have some unfortunate news, everyone. | 告诉大家一个坏消息 |
| [02:55] | – Susie has arrived. | 苏西来了 |
| [03:00] | – Hello, Susie. – This is fucking dumb. | 你好 苏西 |
| [03:03] | – Good to see you, too. | 这太蠢了 我也很高兴见到你 |
| [03:05] | Now, you all know me and wish you were me. | 你们都认识我 也希望成为像我这样的人 |
| [03:08] | I’m Stewart Jones, | 我就是斯图尔特琼斯 |
| [03:09] | your unwilling emcee for this evening. | 不情不愿地当了今晚的司仪 |
| [03:11] | So, when we first approached Susie Myerson about a roast, | 我们第一次找苏西梅尔森 商量办一场戏谑聚会时 |
| [03:14] | she instructed us to position our heads in a place | 她叫我们把头塞进 |
| [03:17] | that seemed ill-advised, claustrophobic, | 某个不太体面的地方 |
| [03:19] | and biologically impossible. | 不仅会引发幽闭恐惧症 而且生理上也办不到 |
| [03:20] | – Try harder. I believe in you. | 继续编 我会信你的 |
| [03:23] | Then we offered to make it | 然后我们提议把活动 办成一个表彰晚宴 |
| [03:24] | a testimonial dinner, and she replied, | 她回答:“不用了 谢谢 |
| [03:26] | “No, thanks, those are for old hags with shriveled pussies.” | “那是给阴道枯萎的老巫婆办的” |
| [03:29] | – Enjoy the veal. | 好好享用小牛肉 |
| [03:31] | So, we negotiated with her, | 所以我们只好和她谈判 |
| [03:32] | and if you’ve never done that before, | 如果有谁从没做过这种事 |
| [03:33] | I highly don’t recommend it. | 我强烈建议不要尝试 |
| [03:36] | And she agreed to a “Testi-Roastial.” | 她最后同意办一场测试性戏谑聚会 |
| [03:39] | Trips off the tongue, huh? | 够拗口的 |
| [03:41] | So, here she is, an hour late | 现在她来了 |
| [03:43] | and smelling like Cheech and Chong. | 迟到了一小时 身上一股“叶子”的味儿 |
| [03:45] | Hell, she’s burned more grass than the Santa Ana winds. | 啊呀 她烧掉的“叶子” 比圣塔安娜风烧掉的还多 |
| [03:48] | If only she’d made as much money for her clients | 要是她帮她的艺人赚的钱 有她帮Visine眼药水 |
| [03:50] | as she has for Visine and Doritos. | 和多力多滋玉米片 |
| [03:52] | – Her big break came… – Bring me some food. | 赚的那么多就好了 |
| [03:54] | …when she discovered the comedian | 当她发掘出某位喜剧演员后 她的事业迎来了重大突破 |
| [03:55] | whose name we shall not utter tonight | 这位的姓名今晚不宜提及 |
| [03:58] | – at the long-defunct Gaslight Café on MacDougal. | 苏西是在如今已不存在的 麦克道格街的煤气灯咖啡馆发现她的 |
| [04:03] | I need a plate, guys. | 我需要一盘吃的 各位 |
| [04:04] | Heavy on the meat, light on the vegetables. | 多放点肉 少放点蔬菜 |
| [04:06] | Dinner service is over. | 晚餐服务已经结束了 |
| [04:08] | I need a plate. Now. | 我需要一盘吃的 马上送过来 |
| [04:11] | Who’s the asshole who wants dinner after dinner? | 是哪个王八蛋 过了晚餐时间还点吃的? |
| [04:14] | Any of you negotiating with Susie | 有谁在电话上跟苏西谈判过 |
| [04:15] | on the other side of a telephone, | |
| [04:17] | or– God forbid– in person, | 甚至倒霉催的当面跟她谈判过 |
| [04:18] | knows she’s one of the consummate dealmakers | 就会知道她谈业务的能力 |
| [04:20] | in the business. | 是业内顶级的 |
| [04:21] | And most of you know about that day in 1970. | 你们多数人应该都听说过 1970年的那一天 |
| [04:25] | – Greatest goddamn day ever. | 有史以来最伟大的一天 |
| [04:26] | The day of the legendary triple crown. | 传奇的三冠王之日 哈利德雷克 |
| [04:31] | Susie had a movie script. | 苏西手上有个电影剧本 |
| [04:33] | It was controversial and no one in town wanted to touch it. | 这个剧本备受争议 镇上没人想碰 |
| [04:35] | So, Sol, this film, | 索尔 |
| [04:37] | it’s gonna be shot on locations all over the city– | 这部电影会在全市各处取景 |
| [04:40] | Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn. | 曼哈顿、皇后区、布鲁克林 |
| [04:42] | Friedkin’s got a real vision for it. | -弗莱德金对此有很具体的设想 |
| [04:43] | I hear he’s a hothead. | -我听说他为人急躁 |
| [04:44] | Yeah, well, maybe you need a hothead | 也许你就需要一个急躁的人 |
| [04:46] | for something like The French Connection. | 来拍类似《法国贩毒网》这样的电影 |
| [04:47] | – Tee off, Tommy. – Paul Newman passed. | 开球吧 汤米 |
| [04:49] | Steve McQueen passed. James Caan passed. | 保罗纽曼拒了 史蒂夫麦昆拒了 詹姆斯肯恩拒了 |
| [04:51] | We got Gene Hackman. | 我们找来了吉恩哈克曼 |
| [04:53] | You’re gonna argue with Gene Hackman? | 如果是吉恩哈克曼 |
| [04:54] | He’s fucking brilliant. It’s a slam dunk. | 你不会有问题吧?他非常优秀 必定会成功 |
| [04:56] | – Sol, come on. – This is not going to happen. | 拜托 |
| [04:58] | Okay? Now, stop. | 这事儿没戏 明白吗?别说了 |
| [04:59] | Just tee off, Tommy. | 你开你的球 汤米 |
| [05:01] | Most would give up to fight another day, | 换作大多数人 至此都会放弃 |
| [05:03] | but not Susie. | 改天再来 但苏西没有 |
| [05:04] | No fucking way is she leaving empty-handed. | 她绝不肯空手而归 |
| [05:07] | After all, she paid for parking. | 毕竟她付了停车费 |
| [05:08] | No. No way. I like the Dodgers. | 不可能的 我喜欢道奇队 |
| [05:10] | I got ’em for the pennant and the series. | 他们肯定会拿到联盟冠军和总冠军 |
| [05:12] | Hey, Sol, what do you think? | 索尔 你觉得呢? |
| [05:14] | To this day, | 直到今天 |
| [05:15] | no one knows what she said to him. | 都没人知道她对他说了什么 |
| [05:16] | What the hell? | 搞什么? |
| [05:17] | Whether it was just her passion for the screenplay, | 是否纯粹被她对剧本的热情打动 |
| [05:20] | or a promise to control the budget, | 还是她承诺控制预算还是… |
| [05:21] | or, hell, she could’ve had pictures of him | 没准是她拍到了 |
| [05:23] | rogering a donkey or something. | 他肏一只驴什么的照片 |
| [05:24] | Who knows? She had eyes everywhere. | 谁知道呢?到处都有她的眼线 |
| [05:27] | – Whatever she said… – The picture’s a go. | 甭管她说了什么 -这部电影可以拍 -什么? |
| [05:29] | – What? – Close the deal by the end of day. | 今天结束前要把合同签好 |
| [05:30] | Susie will give you the terms. | 苏西会把条款给你 |
| [05:32] | – Whatever you need. – But, Sol… | -有需求尽管提 -可是索尔… |
| [05:33] | Just make it happen. | 只管去安排 |
| [05:34] | …Boom, deal one, done. | 砰!第一笔交易搞定 |
| [05:37] | But she ain’t finished. ♪ That ain’t the way to have fun, son… | 可这还没完呢 |
| [05:42] | Now, the foursome in front of them is going slow, | 他们前面的四人组走得很慢 |
| [05:44] | so Susie and her guys bump into ’em. | 所以苏西和她的手下遇到了他们 |
| [05:46] | One of them is the guy who just took over programming for CBS. | 其中之一刚刚晋升 CBS的节目制作负责人 |
| [05:48] | Cameron! Hey there. Congrats on the shiny new job. | 卡梅伦!你好啊 恭喜你找到了闪亮的新工作 |
| [05:52] | Thank you, Susie. | 谢谢你 苏西 |
| [05:53] | Like a showbiz cobra, she strikes immediately. | 她像娱乐圈的一条眼镜蛇一样 立即出击 |
| [05:56] | Says she has a project, wants him to have first crack. | 说她有一个项目 想要他来打头阵 |
| [05:58] | It’s a half-hour comedy, it’s hysterical, | 这是一部半小时长的喜剧 |
| [06:01] | and it’ll launch your Thursday nights. | 非常搞笑 可以安排在每周四晚首个时段播出 |
| [06:02] | Susie, please, we’re trying to relax. | 苏西 拜托 |
| [06:04] | Call my office on Monday. | 我们正在休闲呢 你可以周一给我办公室打电话 |
| [06:05] | She’s not waiting for Monday. | 她才不会等到周一 |
| [06:07] | I got two clients already attached. | 我已经找到了俩人 |
| [06:09] | Liz Montgomery and Andy Griffith both signed to do it, | 莉兹蒙哥马利和安迪格里菲斯 他俩都跟我签了约 并且是签约在CBS做 |
| [06:12] | – and to do it at CBS. – Great pairing. What’s the premise? | -这俩人很搭 故事主旨是什么? -听好 |
| [06:15] | – Get this. – Get this, | “听好” |
| [06:16] | there was no premise. | 其实没有主旨 |
| [06:17] | She was making it up on the spot. | 是她临场编造的 |
| [06:19] | There’s a husband and wife, both shrinks. | 有一对夫妻 都是精神科医生 |
| [06:21] | Now, she’s big city, sharp, Ivy League degree. | 女的出身大城市 很聪明 拥有常春藤盟校学位 |
| [06:24] | He’s folksy, homespun, comes from the Deep South. | 男的很和气 很朴实 来自南方腹地 |
| [06:27] | – Their patients keep dumping one to go to the other. – I love that. | 他们的患者不停甩了夫妻俩中的一个 去找另一个看病 好有意思 |
| [06:30] | So, what does she do on the fly? | 那么她临时编造的是什么呢? |
| [06:32] | She creates That’s Our Time. | 她创造的是《那是我们的时代》 |
| [06:34] | He picks it up on the spot, | 他当场就同意做了 |
| [06:35] | and the fucking thing runs seven years. | 而且这剧一播就播了七年 他们有两个孩子… |
| [06:37] | – They got a couple of kids… – And here’s the thing. | 重点来了 |
| [06:39] | Those stars she mentioned, they weren’t even her clients. | 她提到的那两个明星 根本还没跟她签约 |
| [06:42] | Not until they found out about the sitcom she created | 等他们得知她准备创作一部情景喜剧 |
| [06:44] | and got greenlit for them to star in. | 并且自己获得了主演资格后 |
| [06:46] | They signed with her immediately. | 他们立马就跟她签了约 |
| [06:48] | – …vacuuming their house, too. | |
| [06:49] | – Vacuuming? I love it. – Yeah. | 吸尘 好有意思 |
| [06:51] | Boom! Deal two, done. | 砰!第二笔交易搞定 |
| [06:53] | But she still had 40 minutes left on that parking. | 但她在那儿的停车时间 |
| [06:56] | Susie says she has to hit the head. | 还剩40分钟呢 苏西说她得上趟厕所 |
| [06:58] | – What else? What else? – Uh, there’s this guy from a big record label. | 还知道什么? 有个人是知名唱片公司的 |
| [07:01] | Turns out she’s got every caddy at the club on her payroll, | 原来她给俱乐部里所有球童 都开了工资 |
| [07:03] | and they fill her in on what they know | 他们会把从球场上每个角落 |
| [07:05] | from every hole on the course. | 打听来的情况都告诉她 |
| [07:07] | Okay. Good job, guys. | 干得好 伙计们 |
| [07:08] | She finds out there’s a guy there from A records. | 她得知球场上来了一个 |
| [07:10] | She finds him pronto. | 她很快就找到了他 |
| [07:12] | She tells the guy there’s a couple of songwriters | 她告诉那人伦敦有两个词曲作者 |
| [07:14] | out of London, they wrote this musical, | 他们写了一部音乐剧 |
| [07:16] | and they want to make an album to get some attention. | 想制作一张专辑来获得些名气 |
| [07:18] | It’s the whole story, soup to nuts, | 整个故事从头到尾就是这样 |
| [07:19] | all the way through the crucifixion. | 一直写到被钉十字架 |
| [07:21] | – The 39 lashes and everything. – Wild. | – 39次鞭打什么的 -好狂野 |
| [07:23] | Yeah, the songs are fucking catchy. | 是的 他们的歌真是朗朗上口 |
| [07:26] | – You hear those demos, you’ll want to make the album. – What’s their names? | 你如果听了小样 就会想要制作这张专辑 他们叫什么? |
| [07:29] | And just like that, | 就这样 |
| [07:30] | she breaks Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber. | 她让蒂姆赖斯 和安德鲁劳埃德韦伯走红了 |
| [07:32] | And what does the world get? | 而世界得到了什么? |
| [07:36] | Boom! The triple crown. | 砰!三冠王 |
| [07:39] | – You want some blow? – No, I’m good. | -想来点“可乐”吗? -不用了 |
| [07:43] | This next guest needs no introduction, | 下一位嘉宾不用我介绍 |
| [07:45] | which is good, because I forgot his fucking name. | 太好了 因为我忘了他叫什么 |
| [07:48] | – Oh, yeah, Aaron Lebowitz. | 他就是亚伦莱博维茨 |
| [07:50] | Come on up here, Aaron. | 上来吧 亚伦 |
| [07:56] | Hello, everybody. | 大家好 |
| [07:57] | As most of you know, I’m a manager, | 正如你们大多数人所知 我是一名经纪人 |
| [07:59] | and I’ve been competing with Susie | 我和苏西竞争的年月 |
| [08:01] | for more years than I can count. | 已经长到我记不清了 |
| [08:02] | And I have to admit, | 不得不承认 |
| [08:04] | there’s nobody in this business like Susie. | 这个行业里没有人像苏西 |
| [08:06] | Oh, sorry, I misread that. | 抱歉 我念错了 |
| [08:08] | It’s “nobody in this business likes Susie.” | 是“这个行业里没有人喜欢苏西” |
| [08:10] | – I mean, really, what is there to say | 对苏西梅尔森的评价 |
| [08:13] | about Susie Myerson that hasn’t been said about Pol Pot? | 还有什么是对波尔布特的评价 |
| [08:15] | – Susie’s like anybody else, really. | 所不能囊括的呢? 其实苏西和其他人一样 |
| [08:18] | She has her bad side and her good side. | 有不好的一面 也有好的一面 |
| [08:21] | There’s the ruthlessness, the vindictiveness, | 比如她有时很无情 报复心重 |
| [08:23] | the profane bile that spews from her mouth | 从她嘴里喷出的亵渎的怒气话 |
| [08:25] | like Satan’s lava. | 就像撒旦的熔岩 |
| [08:27] | – Then, on the bad side… | 然后就是她不好的一面… |
| [08:30] | She was mentored by my one-time boss, | 她的导师是我曾经的老板 |
| [08:31] | the late, great Harry Drake. | 已故的伟大的哈利德雷克 |
| [08:35] | Yeah, that’s about the response I expected. | 我就料到你们会是这种反应 |
| [08:37] | When Harry died, he had so many knives in his back, | 哈利死时 背上插着很多把刀 |
| [08:39] | they had to bury him facedown. | 以至于只能脸朝下埋葬 |
| [08:42] | But Harry truly respected Susie, even before she was somebody. | 但哈利非常尊重苏西 在她还没成名时就是这样 |
| [08:46] | While they had their ups and downs, | 虽然他俩的关系也经历了磕磕绊绊 |
| [08:48] | Susie stayed loyal when others didn’t. | 但其他人背叛过哈利 苏西却从没有 |
| [08:50] | Everybody knows the old man’s losing it. | 谁都知道老头子神志开始不行了 |
| [08:53] | Clients are dropping him left and right. | 图茨肖尔酒吧 1963年 |
| [08:55] | Spencer Tracy’s the latest. | 艺人纷纷在和他解约 比如最近的斯宾塞屈塞 |
| [08:57] | Not that anyone gives a shit about Spencer Tracy. | 不过也没人在乎斯宾塞屈塞是咋想的 |
| [08:59] | You want another drink? | 你要再来一杯吗? |
| [09:00] | – You’re paying. – Two more. | -你付钱 -再来两杯 |
| [09:02] | I wanted in on Dr. Strangelove. | 我之前很想参演《奇爱博士》 |
| [09:04] | Harry tells me they’re giving it to George C. Scott. | 可哈利告诉我 片方把角色给了乔治C斯科特 |
| [09:07] | George is good, but fuck it, I’m better. | -乔治不错 可我他妈比他好多了 -是的 |
| [09:09] | – Yup. – What does Harry do for me, anyway? | 总之我想说的是 |
| [09:11] | Except take his cut. | 哈利除了分成 到底帮我做了什么? |
| [09:14] | I want you to represent me. | 我想要你当我的经纪人 |
| [09:16] | No more losing parts to George | 让我不再输给乔治 |
| [09:18] | or Tony Perkins or fucking Richard Burton. | 或者安东尼博金斯 或者该死的理查德伯顿 |
| [09:20] | In two years’ time, here’s what I want. | 两年之内 我想达到这样的目标 |
| [09:22] | A penthouse with a terrace overlooking the park. | 可俯瞰公园的 带露台的顶层公寓 |
| [09:25] | A closet full of Sy Devore suits. | 一个装满赛德沃尔套装的衣橱 |
| [09:28] | Porsche 911 that I can drive | 一辆保时捷911 |
| [09:29] | to my beachfront house in the Hamptons. | 我可以开着它 去我在汉普顿买的海滨别墅 |
| [09:32] | You with me? | 你听明白了吗? |
| [09:33] | Hey, what was that last film of yours, Taylor? | 你拍的上部电影叫什么来着? |
| [09:35] | Daylight Fades? | 《日光渐逝》? |
| [09:36] | Yeah. It did okay. | 是的 成绩还行 |
| [09:38] | No, it didn’t. And the one before that? | 不 成绩不行 上上一部是什么? |
| [09:39] | – The Earth Turns. – So did my stomach when I saw it. | 《地球转动》 -我看的时候都胃疼 -喂! |
| [09:42] | – Hey! – What did Harry Drake do for you, Taylor? | 你不是问哈利为你做了什么吗 泰勒? |
| [09:45] | He took a no-talent, run-of-the-mill | 他所做的是签了 |
| [09:47] | D-list hack actor who was number nine on the call sheet | 你这个没天赋的、资质平平的 |
| [09:50] | of a fucking soap opera, | 在一部肥皂剧的拍摄日程表上 都只排第九位的四流演员 |
| [09:52] | got him jobs he didn’t earn, | 他给你争来了不是你努力得来 |
| [09:53] | didn’t deserve and couldn’t fucking pull off. | 你也不配得到 你也胜任不了的工作 |
| [09:56] | – Hey, what the fuck? – You sit there, | 你他妈说什么呢? |
| [09:58] | not giving a shit about Spencer Tracy. | 你还一副瞧不起斯宾塞屈塞的模样 |
| [10:00] | You compare yourself to actors that are way out of your league, | 拿自己跟档次高你几级的演员 相提并论 |
| [10:02] | and you think I’d stoop so low as to work with you | 你以为我会屈尊跟你共事 |
| [10:05] | and fuck over Harry Drake to boot? | 还得罪哈利德雷克? |
| [10:07] | Well, I hope you got something to fall back on, asshole, | 但愿你还有别的靠山 混蛋 |
| [10:09] | ’cause the only house in the Hamptons you’re gonna see | 不然你以后在汉普顿就只够格 |
| [10:11] | is the one with the pool you’re cleaning, | 给别人的别墅清理游泳池 |
| [10:13] | and the only terrace you’re gonna know | 你唯一见过的顶层公寓露台 |
| [10:14] | is the one you jump off of. | 就是你跳楼的露台 |
| [10:19] | You pay for the drinks, you talentless shit. | 你付酒钱 你个毫无才华的渣滓 |
| [10:22] | Yeah, she had Harry’s back. | 是的 她站在哈利一边 |
| [10:24] | – Dumb fuck. | 痴心妄想 |
| [10:27] | And at the end, Harry wound up handing | 最后 哈利把那些依然跟着他的 |
| [10:29] | his biggest money earners over to her, | 最赚钱的艺人都转给了她 |
| [10:30] | the ones who stayed, | |
| [10:32] | bypassing his own associates in the doing. | 没转给他自己的同事 |
| [10:35] | I was one of those associates. | 我就是那些同事之一 |
| [10:37] | I liked this story till you made it about you. | 你对这事有怨恨 就把讲述的重点放在了自己身上 |
| [10:39] | – Wait a minute, wait a minute. | 等一下 |
| [10:40] | How the hell did that happen? | 那事到底是怎么发生的? |
| [10:42] | Seriously, how the hell did Susie end up with those clients? | 说真的 苏西跟那些艺人最后关系怎样? |
| [10:44] | Kicked her into the stratosphere. | 使她的事业更上了一层楼 |
| [10:46] | It cemented her legend. | 巩固了她的传奇 |
| [10:47] | I know what happened. | 我知道发生了什么 |
| [10:48] | I’ll tell you what happened. | 我来告诉你们吧 |
| [10:49] | The minute Harry was hospitalized, | 哈利刚入院 |
| [10:51] | Susie weaseled her way into his room. | 苏西就溜进了他的病房 |
| [10:53] | Brought forged documents over | 把伪造的文件拿过来 |
| [10:55] | and forced the old man to sign ’em. | 强迫老头子签字 |
| [10:56] | Wakey, wakey, Harry. You got three more to sign, | 醒醒 哈利 还有三份要签名 |
| [10:58] | then you can shuffle off to Buffalo. | 签完你就可以拖着脚走去水牛城了 |
| [11:00] | She didn’t even let his family in… | 她甚至都没让他的家人进病房 没让他女儿进 |
| [11:01] | – his daughter, no one. – Dad. – Grandpa. | 谁都没让进 -姥爷? -是露丝吗? |
| [11:04] | – Is that Ruth? – No. Keep signing. | 不是 继续签吧 |
| [11:05] | – Dad, let us in, please. | 爸爸 求你让我们进来吧 |
| [11:07] | – Keep signing, Harry. – That’s my father. | 继续签名 哈利 那是我父亲 |
| [11:09] | No, no, no, no. That’s not what I heard. | 不 -我听说不是这样 -是怎样? |
| [11:11] | – What did you hear? – The daughter was there | 他女儿当时在场 |
| [11:12] | but for a different reason. | 但是为了别的原因 |
| [11:14] | Susie got to the daughter, | 苏西找到了他女儿 |
| [11:15] | made a deal, and together, they bamboozled Harry | 跟她做了一笔交易 她俩一起哄骗哈利 |
| [11:18] | – into signing over his clients. – Good job, Dad. | 把他的客户签给了苏西 -做得好 |
| [11:20] | – All done. – The daughter got paid in cash | 爸爸 -不错 |
| [11:22] | – right there in the room. – Bullshit, guys. | 他女儿在病房 立马就拿到了现金报酬 |
| [11:24] | Come on. | 这是胡扯 别瞎说 |
| [11:25] | My big sister was a nurse at Lenox Hill. | 我姐是莱诺克斯山医院的护士 |
| [11:27] | She was on duty that night. She saw it all. | 那天晚上她值班 她全看到了 |
| [11:30] | Hello, Harry. | 哈喽 哈利 |
| [11:32] | Just checking in here. Everything good? | 我来看一下你 一切都好吗? |
| [11:34] | Very good. Thank you, Linda. | 非常好 谢谢你 |
| [11:36] | – You’re sweet. – So are you. | 琳达 你很贴心 |
| [11:39] | Get some rest. | 你也是 好好休息吧 |
| [11:42] | – She’s cute. – Oh, stop. | -她很可爱 -别说了 |
| [11:45] | I think she got something happening for me down there. | 看到她 我下面好像出了点动静 |
| [11:48] | Check and see? | 你要看看吗? |
| [11:49] | You want me to see if you have an erection? You are sick. | 你想让我看看你有没有勃起? |
| [11:52] | – You’re a sick man. – Yup, I’m sick. | 你真变态 你有毛病啊 |
| [11:55] | I am sick. | 对 我是病了 |
| [11:56] | Hey, stop that. Okay? You promised. | 嘿 别这样 |
| [11:58] | Most of his employees had abandoned ship. | 好吗?你答应过我的 他的大部分员工都弃他而去了 |
| [12:01] | The ones that stayed were stealing | 还没走的人也在忙着为自己牟利 |
| [12:03] | the goddamn paintings off the walls. | |
| [12:04] | Harry, where’s your daughter? Where’s Ruth? | 哈利 你女儿在哪儿?露丝在哪儿? |
| [12:06] | I don’t know. She’s, uh… | 我不知道 |
| [12:08] | I don’t know. | 她…我不知道 |
| [12:11] | Hey, have you learned to play golf yet? | 你学会打高尔夫了吗? |
| [12:14] | I’m not learning to play golf. | 我才不学打高尔夫 |
| [12:15] | It’s where deals get made. | 打高尔夫能帮你谈成生意 |
| [12:16] | You have to golf. | -你得会打高尔夫 |
| [12:17] | – I don’t know. – I’m gonna leave you my clubs. | -是吗? 我会把我的球杆留给你 |
| [12:20] | – I don’t want your clubs. – Golf with them, | 我不想要你的球杆 |
| [12:22] | beat someone with them, I don’t care. | 用我的球杆打球或者打人都行 |
| [12:23] | You’re taking my clubs. | 随便你 总之你得收下我的球杆 |
| [12:25] | – Hi, Harry. – Oh, hello. | -嗨 哈利 -哈喽 |
| [12:27] | Oh, goody, we just got that thing deflated. | 这可好 刚才那玩意才泻下去火呢 |
| [12:41] | They never beat the silents. | 还没人打败过这些默片 |
| [12:42] | Oh, now, come on. | -才不是呢 |
| [12:43] | No. Nobody beat Keaton. Not at his peak. | -基顿巅峰时期的成绩还无人超越过 |
| [12:45] | Hell, he was 25 when he made this. | 他拍这部时才25岁 |
| [12:47] | He was a genius. | 他是天才 |
| [12:49] | This is funny, but there’s funnier stuff. | 这部是搞笑 但还有更搞笑的电影 |
| [12:51] | I’m on my deathbed, and you’re arguing with me? | 我都已经在临终之榻上了 你还要跟我争辩? |
| [12:53] | – This is not your deathbed. – Susie… | 这才不是你的临终之榻 苏西 |
| [12:56] | – I’m dying. – Yeah, I know that. | 我快死了 我知道 |
| [12:58] | I meant I’m gonna move you over to another bed | 我的意思是 |
| [13:00] | when you’re about to croak. | 你快要翘辫子时 我会把你转移到另一张床上 |
| [13:01] | This one’s all gross and sweaty. | 这张床很恶心 一股汗味 |
| [13:06] | Harry, you’re the only one who noticed me | 哈利 |
| [13:08] | when no one else did. | 我默默无闻时 你是唯一注意到我的人 |
| [13:10] | Thank you for that. | 对此我很感激 |
| [13:11] | Listen… | 听着 |
| [13:14] | I’m signing some clients over to you. | 我要把我的一些艺人转给你 |
| [13:16] | The big ones who stayed: Jerry, Mel, | 就是还跟着我的那些大牌艺人 |
| [13:19] | – Peter, Lucy. – Harry, no. | 杰里、梅尔、彼得、露西… 别这样 |
| [13:21] | I’ve discussed it with them, and they’re good to go. | 我跟他们谈过了 他们现在准备好了 |
| [13:23] | Just keep ’em on a path, like you did with Midge. | 我只希望你能让他们 一直获得像米琪那样的发展 |
| [13:26] | Keep ’em focused. Keep ’em happy. | 始终专注 始终开心 |
| [13:29] | But why? Why me? | 可是为何?为何你要选我? |
| [13:30] | You’re the only one I trust. | 你是我唯一信任的人 |
| [13:33] | – No. No. – The lawyers are into it. | 不… |
| [13:35] | You can do it. | 律师们已经在准备转签事宜 你能行的 |
| [13:37] | You can do it, Susie. | 你能行的 苏西 |
| [13:40] | We’re, uh, missing the movie. | 我们错过了电影情节 |
| [13:44] | We’re missing the movie. | 我们错过了电影情节 |
| [13:51] | He’s comfortable. | 他现在很安详 |
| [13:59] | Ruth? | 露丝 |
| [14:06] | I’m here, Dad. | 我在这儿 爸爸 |
| [14:18] | – Shit. | – Shit. -哎呀 -哎呀 |
| [14:19] | Sad. | 让人难过 |
| [14:21] | It’s not what I heard. | 我听说的不是这样 |
| [14:23] | Okay, let me bring up a very funny man, | 现在我要请一个非常逗的人上台 |
| [14:25] | the funniest man in the room, which is saying nothing. | 他是在场之中最逗的人 不过这说明不了任何事 |
| [14:27] | – Ray Ortiz! | 他就是雷奥蒂斯 |
| [14:32] | Thank you, and hello, Susie. | 谢谢大家 哈喽 苏西 |
| [14:35] | You know, the only reason Susie’s here right now | 知道吗 苏西此刻在这里的唯一原因 |
| [14:36] | is because she heard there are two-to-one odds | 是因为她听说她到场的赔率是2比1 |
| [14:38] | – she’d even show up. | |
| [14:40] | I’m not saying she has a gambling problem, | 这话不是说她有嗜赌的问题 |
| [14:42] | but she made a call to her bookie | 不过她在看《梦幻之地》时 |
| [14:43] | halfway through Field of Dreams. | 中途都给博彩公司打过电话 |
| [14:46] | I mean, when she plays solitaire, | 她玩单人纸牌游戏时 |
| [14:47] | – she bets against herself. | 都会跟自己对赌 |
| [14:49] | She once tried to go double or nothing at an IRS audit. | 有次国税局来搞审计 她都想着玩“输则加倍 赢则两清” |
| [14:53] | When I introduced Susie to my twin daughters, | 有次我把苏西 介绍给我的双胞胎女儿认识 |
| [14:54] | she said, “Two eights? Split ’em!” | 她说:“两个八岁?把她们分开” |
| [14:57] | And then there’s the boys. | 然后说那群“小马哥” |
| [14:59] | You know what I mean, “the boys,” huh? | 你们懂我的意思吧? “小马哥” |
| [15:02] | And where there’s the boys, there’s Susie, | 只要他们出现 必定就能看见苏西 |
| [15:04] | begging them to let her keep her pinky finger one more day. | 在那儿恳求他们 让她的小指多留一天 |
| [15:08] | But really, these are just rumors. | 但其实这些只是谣言 |
| [15:10] | Rumors? Ha! | 谣言? |
| [15:11] | The mob had their hands in her pockets since day one, | 黑帮从苏西干这行起 就把手伸到了她的钱袋里 |
| [15:14] | just like Harry Drake, just like all of ’em. | 哈利德雷克一样 所有人都一样… |
| [15:15] | Yeah, like I was gonna say that to the room. | 是的 本来发言时我想说这事的 |
| [15:17] | I prefer being alive. | 可我不敢 |
| [15:18] | – But Susie leaned into it, | 我惜命 |
| [15:20] | more than others. | 苏西对这事比较看得开 反倒利用起黑帮来 |
| [15:21] | It started with that thing with Dinah Rutledge. | 她的生意是跟戴娜拉特利奇 一起做起来的 |
| [15:23] | – You all know her, right? – Mm-hmm. Sure. – D-Ruttles. | -你们都认识她 对吧? -当然 |
| [15:25] | – Susie’s number two. – She runs the New York branch. | 她是苏西的副将 她管纽约分公司 |
| [15:27] | – She runs New York, period. She’s tough as Susie. – I’ll say. | 她管整个纽约 不接受反驳 她和苏西一样强悍 |
| [15:30] | It was 1961, ’62, that’s when Susie went all in, | -确实是 -苏西是1961到62年创的业 |
| [15:33] | made those guys her muscle. | 她把全副身家投了进去 也是从这时起 黑帮当了她的打手 |
| [15:35] | Hey, get me in at the Copa tonight. | 嘿 给我订今晚科帕夜总会的门票 |
| [15:37] | In the way back, not like last time. | 订后排的座位 别像上次那样 |
| [15:40] | I looked like an asshole | 上次那人表演到中途 |
| [15:41] | walking out in the middle of that guy’s act. | 我走了出来 显得我特混蛋 |
| [15:43] | And let’s start rolling calls. | 咱们来挨个打电话吧 |
| [15:44] | – Guys from William Morris first. – Yup. | -先给威廉莫里斯的人打? -可以 |
| [15:48] | – You okay? – Yeah. | -你没事吧? -没事 |
| [15:51] | Dinah. | 戴娜? |
| [15:52] | Ow. | |
| [15:54] | What the fuck? How did this happen? | 这是搞什么? |
| [15:56] | And do not tell me it was a fucking doorknob. | 怎么回事? 别跟我说你这是撞到了门把手 |
| [15:58] | It was Ronald. | 是罗纳德打的 |
| [16:00] | He got drunk, he got mad, he got jealous. | -他喝醉了 发酒疯 吃飞醋 |
| [16:02] | – Dinah. – I kicked him out. We’re done. | -戴娜! 我把他踹走了 我们结束了 |
| [16:04] | You bet your ass you’re done. | 你确定你俩结束了吗? |
| [16:07] | Look, you are gonna be a manager one day, | 将来你会当上经纪人 |
| [16:08] | so I got to keep you in one piece. | 所以我得保证你安然无恙 |
| [16:10] | But I’ll make you a deal, okay? | 我和你做个交易 好吗? |
| [16:12] | From here on, I get prior approval | 从现在开始 |
| [16:14] | over any guy you date. | 你跟谁约会 都得经过我事先批准 |
| [16:15] | Stop it, it hurts to smile. | 别逗我了 笑起来很痛欸 |
| [16:17] | No, he’s got to come in here, fill out a questionnaire. | 约会对象得先到我这里来 填写问卷 |
| [16:20] | It’ll be quite lengthy, 50, 60 pages. | 问卷会很长 五六十页 |
| [16:22] | And then I want to see him in a bathing suit. | 然后他得穿上泳衣给我看 |
| [16:24] | A tight one. I want you to see what you’re getting. | 紧身泳衣 我要让你明白你谈的是什么样的对象 |
| [16:26] | Whatever you say, boss. | 你咋整都行 老板 |
| [16:28] | Okay, go home. Rest. | 好了 回家休息去吧 |
| [16:29] | Take a taxi, not the subway. | 坐出租车 不要坐地铁 |
| [16:31] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [16:33] | And I’m sending over a massive amount of Zabar’s. | 我会点份超大份Zabars外卖 送去你的住处 |
| [16:35] | Lots of chicken soup and babka. | 会有很多鸡汤和巴布卡面包 |
| [16:37] | – And candied fruit? – And candied fruit. | -我还要蜜饯 -蜜饯也会有 |
| [16:40] | Now go. I’ll see you tomorrow. | 走吧 明天见 |
| [16:42] | Yeah, you think that was the end of it? | 你们以为这就完了吗? |
| [16:44] | – Hell no. | 当然没完 |
| [16:47] | – Now I need a favor. – Sure. What is it? | 我需要你们帮我个忙 |
| [16:50] | ♪ How lucky can one guy be… | 没问题 什么事? |
| [16:51] | – Yeah? – Your name Ronald? | -什么事? -你是叫罗纳德吗? |
| [16:53] | – Yeah. Who the fuck are you? – Who the fuck are we? | 对 他妈的你是谁? 他妈的我们是谁? |
| [16:55] | We’re friends of Susie Myerson. | 我们是苏西梅尔森的朋友 |
| [16:57] | – ♪ Like the fella once said ♪ | |
| [16:59] | – ♪ Ain’t that a kick in the head… – No! No! | |
| [17:01] | – They were old-school, those guys. Thorough. | 那俩人是老派作风 彻底的老派 |
| [17:04] | And they still own a piece of every client Susie has. | 直到现在 他们还在 从苏西的每个艺人身上捞油水 |
| [17:08] | Every client except Maisel. | 是每个艺人 只有梅赛尔除外 |
| [17:10] | Yeah, how’d that happen? | 是的 这是怎么回事呢? |
| [17:12] | You said they were there from the start. | 你不是说黑帮从一开始就在吗? |
| [17:13] | – Yeah, why not Maisel? – Mm-hmm. | 是啊 为什么梅赛尔例外? |
| [17:14] | I know, and I’m gonna tell you | 我知道原因 |
| [17:16] | right after I take a piss. | 我去尿个尿 回来马上告诉你们 |
| [17:18] | – Oh, Jesus Christ, Carmine. | -搞什么嘛 |
| [17:19] | Carmine, finish the story. | 卡迈恩 -先把原因说了 |
| [17:21] | Let’s bring up our next speaker. | 现在有请下一位发言人 |
| [17:22] | You know him. You’re jealous of him. | 你们都认识他 都嫉妒他 |
| [17:23] | He’s an Oscar-nominated producer, three times over, | 他是一位 三次获得奥斯卡提名的制片人 |
| [17:27] | an Emmy award-winning television genius. | 曾获艾美奖的电视节目制作天才 |
| [17:30] | Legendary executive producer of The Gordon Ford Show, | 他就是《戈登福特秀》 |
| [17:33] | – Mike Carr! | 传奇执行制片人迈克卡尔 |
| [17:40] | Hello, all. | 大家好 |
| [17:42] | – Hello, Susie. – Mm-hmm. | 你好啊 苏西 |
| [17:44] | I still owe you that lunch, don’t I? | 我还欠你一顿午餐 对吧? |
| [17:45] | – I’ll take the cash equivalent. | 你可以用现金偿还 |
| [17:48] | So, who is Susie Myerson? | 苏西梅尔森是谁? |
| [17:50] | She’s the only person in America | 她是美国唯一因《阔少爷续集》 |
| [17:52] | whose life was made better by Arthur 2. | 而改善生活的人 |
| [17:56] | She’s the only woman who ever told Tom Cruise | 是唯一跟汤姆克鲁斯说过 |
| [17:57] | – that he’s “unfuckably short.” | 他实在太矮的女人 |
| [18:00] | And she’s the only person I know who would get into | 她是我唯一认识的 |
| [18:03] | a screaming fight with Sidney Lumet | 会在安妮班克罗夫特的生日聚会上 |
| [18:05] | at Anne Bancroft’s birthday party. | 和西尼吕美特大吵一架的人 |
| [18:08] | Susie and I met on Gordon Ford. | 苏西和我因《戈登福特秀》认识 |
| [18:10] | And just a quick side note about someone I worked with closely | 顺便提一下跟我在这个节目里 |
| [18:12] | for a number of years there. | 共事多年的一个人 |
| [18:14] | It is the ten-year anniversary of the passing | 今年是我在《戈登福特秀》 工作期间的 |
| [18:17] | of my old boss and mentor at Gordon Ford, George Toledano. | 老上司兼导师乔治托莱达诺 逝世十周年 |
| [18:22] | A lot of you knew him. | 你们中的很多人都认识他 |
| [18:23] | A lot of you venerated him. | 也有很多人都尊敬他 |
| [18:25] | He was a good man who never really got his due, | 他是个好人 但其实从未得到应有的回报 |
| [18:28] | and I miss him every single day. | 我每天都想念他 |
| [18:29] | Bull. Shit. | 胡扯 |
| [18:30] | Mikey hated George with a passion. | 迈克无比讨厌乔治 |
| [18:32] | But George was Gordon’s guy. | 但乔治是戈登的人 |
| [18:34] | Georgie made Gordon. | 是乔治成就了戈登 |
| [18:35] | Hell, when George found him, | 乔治发现戈登这人时 |
| [18:36] | Gordon was doing traffic and weather | 戈登正在某个鸟不拉屎的镇子 |
| [18:38] | – in some bumfuck town. | 做交通和天气预报 |
| [18:40] | – His sidekick was a chicken. – Mr. Cock-a-doodle-doo. | 他当时的助手是一只鸡 |
| [18:41] | That’s not even a chicken sound. | -“喔喔喔” -这哪像鸡叫声? |
| [18:43] | – That’s how lame it was. | 这节目就是这么烂 |
| [18:45] | But George saw something in him, put him on the fast track. | 但乔治看到了戈登的过人之处 让他一下子就出了名 |
| [18:48] | Hell, everyone thought the only way George | 每个人都认为 乔治哪天要是 |
| [18:50] | would leave Gordon’s side was in a coffin. | 跟戈登分道扬镳 只会是因为乔治翘辫子了 |
| [18:51] | – So, what happened? – Susie happened. | 那到底发生了什么事? 苏西插了一脚 |
| [18:54] | – Oh, yeah. – What? – I know this story. | -我知道内情 -我也知道 |
| [18:55] | – I do, too. – Okay, but I’m telling it. | 好吧 我还是要讲 |
| [18:57] | Mike was the talent booker. | 迈克当时负责艺人的邀约 |
| [18:59] | He and Susie started getting all buddy-buddy. | 他和苏西开始越走越近 |
| [19:02] | Another odd couple, like her and Harry. | 成了又一对奇怪的搭档 就像她跟哈利一样 |
| [19:05] | No, you know how you say a word too many times, | 一个单词如果念很多遍 |
| [19:07] | it stops sounding like a word? | 听起来就会不像一个单词了 |
| [19:09] | Well, there’s a word for that. | 有一个单词描述这种现象 |
| [19:10] | – What’s the word? – I can’t remember the word. | 是什么单词? 我不记得了 |
| [19:12] | Cess, you went to Harvard. What’s the word? | 你念过哈佛 是什么单词? |
| [19:14] | I don’t know. I didn’t major in words. | 我不知道 我又不是主修单词的 |
| [19:15] | – It’s gonna bug me. – She’s doing the tennis pro. | -想不起来我好烦 -她跟专业网球教练搞上了 |
| [19:18] | – Get out. – People say. | -少胡扯了 -大家都这么说的 |
| [19:20] | Was it legit camaraderie | 他俩之间是真友情 |
| [19:21] | or just Susie working some angle? | 还是苏西只是在耍手段? |
| [19:23] | Either way, the angle presented itself. | 无论真相是哪个 手段自动浮现了 |
| [19:26] | Hey, Mike. Who made that dumb rule | 迈克 是谁定的那个傻规矩? |
| [19:28] | that anyone who works on the show can’t be on the show? | 说任何在节目里工作的人 都不能上节目 |
| [19:31] | It’s George. | 是乔治 |
| [19:33] | George made the rule about | 乔治定的规矩 |
| [19:34] | no one working on the show appearing on the show. | 但凡在节目里工作的人都不准上节目 |
| [19:36] | It’s some dumb superstition of his | 因为他相信某种蠢迷信 |
| [19:38] | dating back to, I don’t know, when he was a boy in Pompeii. | 是他曾经… 据说跟他小时候在庞贝的经历有关 |
| [19:41] | Gordon follows it ’cause… | 戈登也跟着信 |
| [19:44] | I don’t know. I don’t know anything. | 是因为…我不知道 我什么都不知道 |
| [19:47] | George, huh? | 是乔治啊? |
| [19:49] | – Semantic satiation! | “语义饱和” |
| [19:50] | That’s two words. | 这可是两个单词 |
| [19:52] | Susie didn’t like George either. | 苏西也不喜欢乔治 |
| [19:53] | Even before she became the great Susie Myerson, | 在她成为名人之前就不喜欢了 |
| [19:55] | – small slights cut deep. – Good morning. | 小小的轻视深深地刺痛了她 早上好 |
| [19:58] | Hi, George. You remember Susie. | 嗨 乔治 你还记得苏西吗? |
| [20:00] | I don’t believe we’ve met. | 我不记得我们见过面 |
| [20:01] | Oh, you’ve definitely met. | 你们绝对见过面 |
| [20:02] | – Have we? – Only like half a dozen times. | -是吗? |
| [20:05] | – Well, then… good to see you. – Mm. | -只见过大概六次吧 很高兴见到你 |
| [20:09] | One thing Susie never liked | 有一件事苏西向来痛恨 |
| [20:10] | – was not being remembered. – Pleasure’s mine. | 别人不记得她 我也很高兴见到你 |
| [20:12] | That man was in her sights. | 于是这个男的被她惦记上了 |
| [20:14] | One night, there’s a staff party in the studio. | 有天晚上 演播室里 举办了一场员工聚会 |
| [20:16] | Their 500th show, some shit like that. | 庆祝节目举办第500期什么的 |
| [20:19] | The booze is free, so of course Susie’s there. | 酒水免费 苏西当然也就参加了 |
| [20:20] | She gets bored, she starts wandering around. | 她感到无聊 就开始四处游荡 |
| [20:23] | Don’t push me like this, George! | 别这样逼我 |
| [20:24] | Just get it the fuck done, Mike, or I’ll find somebody who can. | 他妈的把这事给我搞定 不然我就去找搞得定的人 |
| [20:27] | Susie’s super curious, so she goes after Mike. | 苏西超级好奇 于是她就去追问迈克 |
| [20:30] | He treats me like I’m the fucking receptionist. | 他对待我就像对待接待员似的 |
| [20:32] | Demeans me in front of the staff every chance he gets. | 一有机会就在员工面前贬低我 |
| [20:33] | – Mike’s had it. – I’ve fucking had it. | -迈克受够了 -我他妈受够了 |
| [20:35] | – Does Gordon know that? – Oh, he knows. | -戈登知道吗? -他知道 |
| [20:37] | He’s dangled me producing shows for him | 他吊着我 |
| [20:39] | when his network deal closes, but guess what. | 说等他和电视网达成交易 就让我给他制作节目 |
| [20:41] | – They can’t make a deal. – What? Why? | 但你猜怎么了?他们无法达成交易 |
| [20:43] | Gordon’s number one. What’s the holdup? | 为什么?戈登收视率最高啊 遇到了什么阻碍? |
| [20:45] | I’d put fucking money on George Toledano being the holdup. | 我敢打赌 乔治托莱达诺就是阻碍之一 |
| [20:48] | Susie had invested a lot of time in Mike Carr, | 苏西在迈克卡尔身上投入了很多时间 |
| [20:49] | and she did not want him to leave. | 她不希望他离开 |
| [20:51] | – George, huh? – He could decide to, I don’t know, | 是乔治啊? 迈克可以…咋说呢? |
| [20:54] | go into his father-in-law’s fucking plumbing business, | 他可以跟着他岳父做管道生意 |
| [20:56] | and what good would that do Susie? | 可这对苏西有什么好处? |
| [20:58] | She had a plumber, so she decided to do some snooping. | 她已经有水管工了 于是她决定搞窥探 |
| [21:02] | Have you gone through his stuff? | 你翻查过他的东西吗? |
| [21:05] | – Whose stuff? – | 谁的东西? |
| [21:08] | You can’t do this. | 我们不能做这种事 |
| [21:09] | Sure I can. Just watch. | 当然可以 当心点就是了 |
| [21:12] | There’s security guards that walk the floor. | 外面有保安巡查 |
| [21:13] | They’re all at the party. | 他们都在参加聚会 |
| [21:16] | Eh, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. | 废话 |
| [21:19] | Ooh. Why does he have rubber gloves? | 他怎么会有橡胶手套? |
| [21:21] | I don’t know, maybe to go through my stuff. | 我不知道 |
| [21:22] | Locked drawer. | 也许是为了翻查我的东西 有个抽屉上锁了 |
| [21:25] | These douchebags that never open letters, | 这些人渣 |
| [21:27] | but they all have letter openers. | 从没见他们拆过信 但个个都有开信刀 |
| [21:29] | I truly despise that. | 这事让我非常鄙视 |
| [21:30] | Okay, I can’t be here. Goodbye. | 我不能待这儿了 再见 |
| [21:36] | She’s either the best snoop in the business | 她要么是业内技术最棒的窥探者 |
| [21:38] | or the luckiest son of a bitch who ever walked the planet. | 不然就是地球上最幸运的人 |
| [21:41] | The gun was smoking like a three-alarm fire, | 苏西找到了铁证 |
| [21:43] | and Mikey’s life was about to change. | 迈克的人生即将改变 |
| [21:46] | And as for George… | 至于乔治… |
| [21:48] | Dorie, is it possible | 多蕊 |
| [21:50] | you’re more beautiful today than yesterday? | 有没有可能 你今天比昨天还漂亮? |
| [21:52] | I did change my lashes. | 我今天换了睫毛 |
| [21:55] | How’s the best writing staff in the business? | 业内最好的编剧们 你们好吗? |
| [21:58] | Nice suit, George. | 你的西装不错 乔治 |
| [22:01] | Oh, you look trim, Freddie. What’s your secret? | 你很苗条啊 弗雷迪 有什么秘诀吗? |
| [22:04] | Grapefruit, George. | 多喝葡萄柚汁 |
| [22:06] | Alan? | |
| [22:07] | The poor bastard never saw it coming. | 这可怜的混蛋 从没料到会出这种事 |
| [22:09] | Gordon would like you and your personal effects | 戈登希望你带着你的私人物品 |
| [22:11] | gone within the hour. | 在一小时内离开 |
| [22:12] | Turns out George was single-handedly | 原来 |
| [22:14] | holding up Gordon’s contract. | 是乔治以一己之力 妨碍了戈登签下合同 |
| [22:16] | George wanted his mortgage paid off, | 乔治想要还清抵押贷款 |
| [22:18] | a new boat, a fucking horse farm, | 《综艺报》 乔治托莱达诺被《戈登福特秀》开除 |
| [22:21] | a house for a “friend.” | 想买一艘新船、一个马场 想给某个“朋友”买一套房子 |
| [22:23] | When Gordon heard, he blew his stack | 戈登知道内情后火冒三丈 |
| [22:26] | and Mikey got the job. | 迈克得到了制片人的工作 |
| [22:28] | Hey, Dinah! This one just winked at me. | 戴娜 这只鸽子刚刚对我使了眼色 |
| [22:31] | Pigeons don’t wink. It blinked. | 鸽子不会使眼色 它只会眨眼 |
| [22:32] | It fucking winked, I’m telling you. | 它刚才是真的对我使了眼色 |
| [22:35] | Good God, that amuses me. | 天哪 |
| [22:36] | Why does that amuse me so much? | 这让我好开心 为什么我会这么开心? |
| [22:38] | It’s because you’re easily amused. | 因为你很容易就开心 |
| [22:40] | It was all in a day’s work for Susie Myerson. | 对苏西梅尔森来说 搞窥探是她习以为常的事 |
| [22:42] | Goddamn, I love these things. | 天啊 |
| [22:44] | – So, Susie, | 这些小家伙真可爱啊 |
| [22:47] | my old friend. | 那个…苏西 我的老朋友 |
| [22:49] | Old, old friend. | 很老很老的朋友 |
| [22:52] | – You’re very old. | 你很老了 |
| [22:55] | I’ll leave you with this. | 最后送你一样东西 |
| [22:58] | – Okay. | 好的 |
| [23:03] | – Yeah, Susie! – Okay, okay. | 好耶 苏西! 好了 |
| [23:05] | You’ve taken your piss, my brother, now talk. | 你尿完尿了 兄弟 现在说吧 |
| [23:08] | Yeah, come on, spill. | 是啊 快点 快说 |
| [23:09] | How did Midge Maisel get out from under the mob? | 米琪梅赛尔是如何 从黑帮手下脱身的? |
| [23:11] | All right, so you know about Midge’s first husband, right? | 你们知道 米琪第一任老公是谁 对吧? |
| [23:13] | The man who gave her the Maisel? | 她的姓氏就是随这个男人的 |
| [23:15] | Well, I have worked for Joel Maisel, | 我曾在乔尔梅赛尔手下做过事 |
| [23:17] | and he is one tough son of a bitch, | 这人非常强悍 |
| [23:18] | – let me tell you. – He just got out of the clink, right? | -是真的 -他才出狱不久 对吧? |
| [23:20] | Yeah, he got caught up in that big FBI sweep a few years back. | 是的 几年前他卷入了 联邦调查局的大扫荡 |
| [23:23] | – Blame Susie for that, too. – Jesus. – No. | -这事也是苏西的责任 -天啊 |
| [23:25] | Yeah. Now, the mob had sunk their teeth into Susie | 从苏西创业第一天起 |
| [23:26] | from the start, so they owned Midge lock, | 她就被黑帮的魔爪钳制住了 所以他们也完全控制了米琪 |
| [23:28] | stock and barrel, and Joel Maisel wasn’t having it. | 这事令乔尔梅赛尔受不了 |
| [23:34] | He’s in your office. | 他在你的办公室 |
| [23:36] | Goddamn it. | 可恶 |
| [23:37] | He’d just busted in, | 他直接就冲了进去 |
| [23:39] | demanded to know what they were getting of his ex-wife’s. | 要求苏西告诉他 黑帮从他前妻身上拿到了什么好处 |
| [23:41] | – Are you fucking crazy? – Where are they? | 你疯了吗? -它们在哪儿? |
| [23:44] | – Where’s what? – Your books. | -什么在哪儿? 你的账簿 |
| [23:46] | My accountant has ’em. | 在我的会计师那儿 |
| [23:47] | Not those books. | 我说的不是那些账簿 |
| [23:50] | These books. | 是这些账簿 |
| [23:53] | You know, there are laws against breaking and entering. | 你知不知道擅自闯入 别人的地方属于违法? |
| [23:57] | Asshole. Asshole! | 混蛋! |
| [23:59] | It was all there in black and white. | 一切都白纸黑字写得清清楚楚 |
| [24:01] | For every 100 bucks Midge made, | 米琪每赚100美元 |
| [24:03] | Susie got 15 and the mob got 30. | 苏西得15美元 黑帮得30美元 |
| [24:06] | – I told you not to call the cops. – I didn’t. | 我告诉过你不要报警 |
| [24:08] | This is my cousin Dougie, he was meeting me for lunch. | 我没报警 这是我堂弟道格 他来约我一起吃午饭 |
| [24:10] | – Nice to meet you. | – Nice to meet you. -幸会 -幸会 |
| [24:12] | Shit. | 完了 伙计们 |
| [24:14] | Guys, wait. Hold up. | 等等 先别走 |
| [24:16] | – So, you know this man? – Yes. | -所以你认识这个人? -是的 |
| [24:18] | – Do you want to press charges? – No. | 你想起诉吗? |
| [24:20] | It’s a misunderstanding. | 不想 这是一场误会 |
| [24:21] | Care to explain the misunderstanding? | 你想解释一下是什么误会吗? |
| [24:23] | Nope. Just let him go. | 不想解释 |
| [24:28] | Leave the premises. | 让他走吧 请离开这里 |
| [24:30] | – I’ll make sure he goes. – Rain check, Dougie? | 我会让他走的 -改天再约吗 |
| [24:32] | Yup. | 道格? -好 |
| [24:34] | – Joel, listen. | 乔尔 听着 |
| [24:36] | She’s gonna make so much goddam money, | 她以后会赚到超多钱的 |
| [24:38] | it’s not gonna matter. | 这事不要紧的 |
| [24:39] | I will commit my life to her, everything. | 我愿意赌上我的命 赌上一切去成就她 |
| [24:42] | I’m gonna make this happen. | 我会说到做到 |
| [24:44] | This situation, it’ll be a footnote. | 如今这情况 放以后看只会是小事一桩 |
| [24:46] | They own her, Susie. | 她被他们控制了 苏西 |
| [24:47] | I can fix this. | 这事儿我能解决 |
| [24:49] | He knew there was no fixing it, not for Susie. | 他知道这事儿没办法解决 至少苏西解决不了 |
| [24:51] | So, what does he do? | 那他做了什么呢? |
| [24:53] | He walks straight into the lion’s den. ♪ I love those J-I-N-G-L-E bells ♪ | 他径直走进了虎穴 |
| [25:02] | ♪ Those holiday J-I-N-G-L-E bells… ♪ Those happy J-I-N-G-L-E B-E double-L-S ♪ | 有什么能效劳吗? |
| [25:11] | – ♪ I love those… – Can we help you? Frank and Nicky, right? | 你们是弗兰克和尼基? |
| [25:17] | Yeah? | 是 |
| [25:18] | I’m Joel Maisel. You got a minute? | 我是乔尔梅赛尔 能聊会儿吗? |
| [25:20] | Sure. | 没问题 |
| [25:22] | We’ll be right back, guys. Hey. | 我们去去就回 |
| [25:27] | There’s good. | 就在这里聊吧 |
| [25:28] | You’re Frank? | 你是弗兰克? |
| [25:29] | Yeah. That’s Nicky. | 是 这是尼基 |
| [25:31] | You know, my mother actually named me after St. Nicholas, | 我妈实际上是以“圣尼古拉斯” 给我取的名 |
| [25:33] | ’cause I came out fat and jolly. | 因为我出生时又胖又快乐 |
| [25:35] | Plus, my pop got clipped on Christmas. | 另外 我爹在圣诞节那天中枪了 |
| [25:38] | My kids are waiting. What’s up? | 我的孩子在等着我 |
| [25:40] | You can’t have Midge. | 是什么事? |
| [25:41] | – What? – You can’t have her. | -你们不能控制着米琪 -什么? |
| [25:43] | – You just can’t. – I don’t get it. | 你们不能控制着她 就是不行 |
| [25:45] | We don’t have Midge. | -我不明白 -我们没有控制着米琪 |
| [25:46] | But you have Susie, right? | 但你们控制着苏西 对吗? |
| [25:48] | We don’t talk about our clients. | 我们不跟外人谈论我们的客户 |
| [25:50] | Look, I’m not a schmuck. | 听着 我不傻 |
| [25:52] | I didn’t come here empty-handed. | 我不是空手而来的 |
| [25:54] | I’ve got something to offer in exchange. | 我有东西可以交换 |
| [25:56] | – Really? – What? | -是吗? -是什么? |
| [25:57] | – Me. – You? | -我 -你? |
| [25:59] | Trying to picture you in a cocktail dress. | 我正努力想象 你穿鸡尾裙的样子 |
| [26:00] | I’ve got a place in Chinatown. A nightclub. | 我在唐人街有个生意 是一家夜店 |
| [26:03] | Turns big profits, it’s got lines around the block. | 利润很高 顾客都在附近排起了长队 |
| [26:05] | – Chinatown, huh? – Hmm. Tough market. | -唐人街? -那个市场很难做 |
| [26:07] | I’m fucking good at this, this business. | 我非常擅长做夜店 |
| [26:10] | I make money. | 这个生意让我赚到了钱 |
| [26:12] | And with the right financing, I could expand quick, | 如果有合适的融资 我可以快速扩张 |
| [26:14] | quicker than what I’m doing now. | 比我现在扩张得更快 |
| [26:18] | You guys do financing, right? | 你们也做融资 对吗? |
| [26:19] | Yeah, we do financing. | 对 我们也做融资 |
| [26:21] | Then let go of her. | 那就放过她 |
| [26:23] | Let her walk away. | 让她走 |
| [26:24] | Look, Joel, she’s starting to make good money. | 你看啊 乔尔 她现在开始赚大钱了 |
| [26:27] | She’s the mother of my kids, and I want her clear of this. | 她是我孩子的母亲 我希望她能摆脱这事 |
| [26:32] | You’ve got kids. | 你们也有孩子 |
| [26:36] | – Give us a minute. – Sure. | -你稍等一下 -没问题 |
| [26:47] | Would you like a cookie? | 你想要块饼干吗? |
| [26:49] | I made them myself. | 我自己做的 |
| [26:50] | – Which one’s the best? – The star. | 哪个最好吃? 星星 |
| [26:55] | – Merry Christmas. | – Merry Christmas. 圣诞节快乐 圣诞节快乐 |
| [27:03] | You ever been popped? | 你被抓过吗? |
| [27:05] | – No. – Good. | 没有 |
| [27:07] | The old man liked the idea. | -很好 -老头很喜欢你这个主意 |
| [27:09] | You, as like, a front man. | 你可以充当我们的门面 |
| [27:11] | He’s already got ideas for cities to put clubs in. | 他已经想好了 要在哪些城市开夜店 |
| [27:13] | Cities we do business in. | 要在哪些城市开展业务 |
| [27:15] | Always open to ideas. | 各种想法我都愿意考虑 |
| [27:17] | So, you’ll leave Midge alone? | 那你们能放过米琪了吧? 你有种 |
| [27:19] | You got some balls on you, pal, I’ll give you that. | 伙计 这点我得承认 |
| [27:23] | Yeah, we’ll leave Midge alone. | 可以 我们放过米琪 |
| [27:25] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [27:28] | So, what happens now? | 那接下来该做什么? |
| [27:31] | We should get back to the kids. | 我们得回去跟孩子们玩了 |
| [27:37] | Happy Hanukkah. | 光明节快乐 |
| [27:40] | He skirted charges longer than anybody thought | 他躲避指控的时间 比任何人预计的都要长 |
| [27:42] | he could, had good lawyers, caught some breaks. | 他请了很好的律师 而且也很走运 |
| [27:44] | But ultimately they threw the book at him, | 但最终 |
| [27:46] | hard, brought the whole thing tumbling down. | 他还是受到了责罚 非常严厉的责罚 |
| [27:50] | – He took the full rap. | 把整个生意都搞垮了 他承担了全部的责罚 |
| [27:52] | Protected that partner of his, Archie Cleary, | 保护了他的搭档阿奇克利里 |
| [27:54] | made sure he was okay. | 使他免于被责罚 |
| [27:56] | He supposedly stashed some money in Bermuda or somewhere | 据说乔尔在百慕大还是什么地方 藏了一笔钱 |
| [27:58] | for when he got out. Who knows? | 以备出狱后的生活所需 谁知道呢 |
| [28:00] | And Midge, well, she never deserted him. | 至于米琪 她从没抛弃他 |
| [28:07] | Susie Myerson. | 苏西梅尔森 |
| [28:09] | Is she gay, is she straight? Who can tell? | 她是女同吗?是直女吗?谁知道呢? |
| [28:11] | – But I’ve seen some of the deals she’s closed | 但我见识过她多年来做成的一些交易 |
| [28:13] | over the years, and one group of people | 我知道有一群人她很喜欢坑 |
| [28:15] | – I know she fucks is her clients. | 就是她的艺人 |
| [28:18] | But, you know, she just got George Carlin | 她不久前还让乔治卡林 |
| [28:20] | booked on a children’s show. Yeah. | 上了一个儿童节目 |
| [28:22] | Next year he’s taking over for Ringo Starr | 明年他将接替林戈斯塔尔客串 |
| [28:24] | on Shining Time Cocksucker Shit Piss | 《闪亮时光嗦屌拉屎拉尿杂种站》 |
| [28:27] | – Fuck Cunt Tits Motherfucker Station. | |
| [28:33] | So, Susie, you ready for a special guest? | 苏西 你准备好迎接 一位特别嘉宾了吗? |
| [28:34] | – No. – Too bad. | -没有 -太糟糕了 |
| [28:37] | It took three connecting flights and two B-12 injections | 我们费了三趟转机航班 以及两针维生素B12 |
| [28:39] | to get our next guest here, but get her here we did. | 才把下一位嘉宾请到这里 |
| [28:41] | Ladies and gentlemen, Susie’s little sister Tessie Myerson. | 女士们 先生们 |
| [28:45] | – Yeah. | 有请苏西的妹妹苔丝梅尔森 嗨 |
| [28:48] | – Hiya, sis. – Hello, Tess. | 姐姐 哈喽 苔丝 |
| [28:52] | So, so, so, | 好了… |
| [28:53] | so, what can I say about Susie Myerson | 对苏西梅尔森的评价 还有什么是对波尔布特的评价 |
| [28:58] | that hasn’t been said about Pol Pot? | 所不能囊括的呢? |
| [29:03] | When I introduced her to my twin daughters, | 当我向我的双胞胎女儿介绍她时 |
| [29:04] | she said, “Two eights? Split ’em.” | 她说:“两个八岁?把她们分开” |
| [29:10] | I should’ve been a comedian. | 我真该去当个喜剧演员 |
| [29:12] | – That was weird. – Super weird. | 现场气氛很怪异 超级怪异 |
| [29:13] | She just did everybody else’s jokes. | 她全是模仿别人的段子 |
| [29:15] | Susie is the only person I know | 苏西是我唯一认识的 |
| [29:18] | who would get into a screaming fight | 会在安妮班克罗夫特的生日聚会上 和西尼吕美特大吵一架的人 |
| [29:20] | with Sidney Lumet at Anne Bancroft’s birthday party. | 谁是西尼吕美特? 好了 |
| [29:25] | – Who is Sidney Lumet? – Okay, Tessie, wrap it up. | 苔丝 赶紧说完 |
| [29:28] | But in all honesty, sis. | 但老实说 |
| [29:30] | I’m thrilled to be here. | 姐姐 |
| [29:31] | You’ve always been my rock, | 我很高兴来这里 |
| [29:34] | and you’ve always been supportive of me. | 你一直是我的坚强后盾 一直支持我 |
| [29:37] | Happy birthday. | 生日快乐 |
| [29:39] | – It’s not my fucking birthday. | 今天不是我生日 |
| [29:40] | This woman. | 这个女人… |
| [29:41] | This woman had belief and passion | 这个女人在别人不看好 |
| [29:45] | for my singing career when no one else did. | 我的歌唱生涯时 只有她对此抱有信心和热情 |
| [29:48] | – Oh, boy. – She is solely responsible | 好家伙 是她一手打造的 |
| [29:51] | for my smash disco single “Never Ever Gonna Stop.” | 我的热门迪斯科单曲 《永远不会停止》 |
| [29:54] | It hit number 85 on the Billboard Dance charts, | 这支单曲在《公告牌》 舞曲榜单上排到了第85名 |
| [29:58] | and it even made it to number one in Indonesia. | 在印尼甚至冲进了第一名 |
| [30:01] | I mean, I didn’t even know Indonesia was real before that, | 在那之前我都不知道有印尼这个地方 |
| [30:04] | and now I live there. | 现在我住在印尼 |
| [30:06] | It was Susie’s idea. | 这是苏西的主意 |
| [30:07] | Anyway, I’m gonna liven this morgue up a bit | 好了 这里气氛像太平间 我要让气氛热闹起来 |
| [30:11] | and do it for you now. Hit it. | 我要为大家演唱这首歌 音乐 |
| [30:14] | ♪ When I saw you at the nightclub ♪ | 我在夜店见到你时 |
| [30:18] | ♪ You were dancing ♪ | 你正在跳舞 |
| [30:20] | And then it just got fucking weirder. | 现场气氛变得特别怪异 |
| [30:22] | ♪ Let me rub your face ♪ | 当你摇晃臀部时 |
| [30:23] | – ♪ While you shake your hips ♪ – Okay. | 让我揉搓你的脸 |
| [30:25] | ♪ I’m just a baby girl who wants to taste your lips ♪ | 我只是个小女孩 想尝尝你的嘴唇 |
| [30:29] | ♪ You say you have to go ♪ | 你说你得走了 |
| [30:31] | ♪ But, boy, there’s something you should know ♪ | 可有件事你必须知道 |
| [30:35] | ♪ It’s that I’m never, never, ever ♪ | 那就是我永远不会停止 爱你 |
| [30:38] | ♪ Gonna stop loving you, watching you, following you ♪ | 注视你 追随你 |
| [30:43] | ♪ Never, never, ever gonna stop ♪ | 永远不会停止 |
| [30:48] | Hey, hey, you stopped it before the best part. | 喂 我就快唱到最精彩的 |
| [30:49] | – The sex groaning. – There we go. | 性呻吟部分了 你咋把音乐关了? 唱得很精彩 |
| [30:52] | – Tessie Myerson, everybody. | 这是苔丝梅尔森 各位 |
| [30:54] | – Keep boogying, people. – Oh, yeah. | 感谢大家的倾听 |
| [30:59] | Talent sure runs in the family. | 妹妹跟姐姐一样有才华 |
| [31:02] | So Susie did that for her sister? | 苏西那样对她妹妹 |
| [31:03] | – That-that was a nice thing? – No… | -这样礼貌吗? -不礼貌 |
| [31:06] | – Yes, it was a nice thing. – She’s not a total monster. | 不 这样很礼貌 她妹妹也不是十足的怪物 |
| [31:08] | Yeah, she was a great manager, up until she dumped me. | 苏西甩掉我之前 一直是位出色的经纪人 |
| [31:10] | She was great because she’d do anything for her client. | 她很出色 因为她愿意 为她的艺人做任何事 |
| [31:13] | Do you know the Midge Maisel Hawaiian wedding story? | 你们知道米琪在夏威夷 举行婚礼的事吗? |
| [31:15] | – Spill it. – Let’s hear it. | -快说 -说来听听 |
| [31:16] | I just hope to God it’s true. | 我只希望是真有其事 |
| [31:18] | – Ah… | 1973年 |
| [31:22] | – You hear that? – Hear what? | -你听到了吗? -听到了什么? |
| [31:24] | The fucking ocean. | 海洋的声音 |
| [31:25] | You can’t hear the fucking ocean? | 你听不到海洋的声音吗? |
| [31:26] | Sounds a little like traffic. | 有点像交通的声音 |
| [31:28] | Hey, Marcy, get Lucius back on the line. | 嘿 马希 让卢修斯重新接电话 |
| [31:29] | And is that a ukulele? | 那是尤克里里琴声? |
| [31:31] | I am so at peace. Like, for the first time ever. | 我现在特别平静 从未这么平静过 |
| [31:34] | I’m eating pineapple every day. | 我每天都吃菠萝 |
| [31:36] | – I want to buy a house here. | 我想在这里买房子 |
| [31:40] | Jesus Christ, you scared me. | 老天!你吓到我了 |
| [31:42] | I can’t do this. | I can’t do this. 我做不了 |
| [31:44] | What, zip up? I’ll help you zip up. | 什么做不了? 拉链拉不上?我帮你 |
| [31:46] | Not zip up. I can’t do this. I can’t get married. | 不是拉链的事 是我做不了这事 这婚我没法结 |
| [31:49] | I’ll call you back. | 我等下再打给你 |
| [31:51] | Oh, are you fucking kidding? | 你是在开玩笑… |
| [31:55] | Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. | |
| [31:57] | It’s a mistake. Can’t do it. | 这是一个错误 我做不了 |
| [31:59] | Miriam, there are 700 people here to see you get married. | 米里亚姆 现场来了700人见证你结婚 |
| [32:01] | – I know. – In 20 minutes. | -我知道 – 20分钟后结婚 |
| [32:02] | – I know. – We rented a fucking island. | -我知道 -我们把整个岛都租下了 |
| [32:05] | Flew people in from all over the world. | 宾客从世界各地飞来 |
| [32:06] | I know, I know. | 我知道 |
| [32:08] | The Jordan almond budget alone | 光约旦杏仁的花费就可以资助 |
| [32:10] | could finance a Navy SEAL strike. | 一次海豹突击队的打击行动 |
| [32:11] | I hate Jordan almonds. | -我讨厌约旦杏仁 |
| [32:12] | You are getting married. | -你必须结婚 |
| [32:13] | – No. – Yes. | -不 -必须结 |
| [32:14] | – No, No! – Yes. Why?! Why? | -不 -为什么? |
| [32:16] | I don’t love him. | 我不爱他 |
| [32:18] | You didn’t love the last guy either. | 上次那人你也不爱 |
| [32:20] | That didn’t stop you. | 你不照样跟他结婚了? |
| [32:21] | It’s not him. Philip is great. | 不是菲利普的问题 他很棒 |
| [32:23] | He really is, but there’s love and then there’s love, you know. | 是真的 但是有这样的爱 也有这样的爱 懂吗? |
| [32:26] | And then there’s love. | 还有这样的爱 |
| [32:27] | And I don’t have that right kind of love-love | 我对他不是爱情的“爱” |
| [32:29] | for him, you know? | |
| [32:30] | I am gonna beat you with a pineapple. | 我恨不得用菠萝打你一顿 |
| [32:32] | I know it’s crazy, but I was in my room | 我知道变卦很不可思议 |
| [32:34] | and I looked at myself in this outfit | 可我待在我的房间里时 我看着穿着这套衣服的自己 |
| [32:36] | and I thought, this is not a good outfit. | 心想 这不是一套好衣服 |
| [32:38] | – This outfit is a cry for help. – The pants were surprising. | 这套衣服是求救的呼声 裤子令人惊讶 |
| [32:41] | And the guest list? | 至于宾客名单 |
| [32:42] | This started off as an intimate wedding. | 原本我是计划办成一场亲密婚礼 |
| [32:44] | Thirty people, 50. Just our closest friends. | 只邀请30个人 50个人 只邀请我们最亲密的朋友 |
| [32:47] | Then it just kept expanding and expanding | 可最后名单不断扩大 |
| [32:49] | till it turned into this 700-headed monster. | 竟然扩大到了恐怖的700人 |
| [32:52] | Comedians I barely know, relatives I have never met. | 有我几乎不认识的喜剧演员 有我从未见过的亲戚 |
| [32:55] | Four ex-boyfriends. | 还来了四个前男友 |
| [32:57] | So many bad vibes. What was I thinking? | 气氛太不美妙了 |
| [32:59] | The more the merrier? | -我是咋想的? -人越多越喜庆? |
| [33:00] | He has no sense of humor. | 他没有幽默感 |
| [33:02] | I need a man who makes me laugh at breakfast, | 我需要一个吃早餐时 能逗得我笑的男人 |
| [33:04] | and he just doesn’t make me laugh. | 可他就是无法逗得我笑 |
| [33:07] | I hate him for that. I shouldn’t hate him, | 我很讨厌他这点 |
| [33:09] | – but I do. | 我不该讨厌他 但我就是忍不住 |
| [33:11] | – I am loving Philip Roth. – Such a gentleman. | -我太喜欢菲利普罗斯了 -他好绅士 |
| [33:14] | He just gave me a complete set of his books. | 他刚送了我一整套他的书 |
| [33:16] | Signed. Terrific guy. | 还签了名 这人真不错 |
| [33:18] | He seems to have it in for that Norman Mailer fellow, | 他似乎跟那个叫诺曼梅勒的人过不去 |
| [33:21] | also very charming. | 那人也很迷人 |
| [33:23] | Are we ready to go? | 可以走了吗? |
| [33:25] | I think I’m still in love with Joel. | -我好像仍然爱着乔尔 |
| [33:27] | – What? – Joel’s not funny either. | -什么? |
| [33:29] | – What’s happening? – Get this. | -乔尔也不幽默啊 -发生什么事了? |
| [33:31] | She is considering backing out of the fucking marriage, | 听好 她正在考虑退掉这门婚事 |
| [33:33] | until she comes to her fucking senses | 等她清醒过来 |
| [33:35] | and stops looking for crazy reasons | 不再找些胡扯的理由 |
| [33:36] | to back out of the fucking marriage. | 退掉这门婚事… |
| [33:38] | I’m sorry, I’m still in love with Joel. | 抱歉 我仍然爱着乔尔 |
| [33:39] | – Joel who? – Joel Grey? | -乔尔谁? -乔尔格雷? |
| [33:41] | No, Joel Maisel. | 不 |
| [33:42] | Why would you say Joel Grey? | 是乔尔梅赛尔 你为什么要说乔尔格雷? |
| [33:44] | Because you dated Joel Grey. | 因为你和乔尔格雷约会过 |
| [33:45] | You were engaged to Joel Grey | 你和乔尔格雷都订过婚 |
| [33:46] | until you called it off. | 后来被你取消了 |
| [33:48] | Because he didn’t make you laugh. | 因为他没法逗得你笑 |
| [33:49] | You picking up on a pattern here? | 你注意到自己的模式了吗? |
| [33:51] | Philip is a great lover. | 菲利普是很棒的情人 |
| [33:52] | – Ew. – Miriam. – Hey, hey. | 别说了 |
| [33:53] | I’m sorry, I’m making a mental pro/con list, and that is a pro. | 抱歉 |
| [33:56] | A big pro. And he’s smart. | 我正在心里列一份利弊清单 他在做情人这方面有大优势 |
| [33:58] | And he’s very easy to buy shoes for. | 而且他很聪明 而且给他买鞋很容易 |
| [34:00] | Oh, God, I’m running out of pros. | 天哪 找不到他别的优势了 |
| [34:01] | What about the band? | 乐队怎么办? |
| [34:02] | The band is all set up and ready to go. | 乐队已经准备就绪了 |
| [34:03] | We’ll just have to pay them off. | 只要把钱付给他们就行了 |
| [34:05] | It’s Three Dog Night. | 这可是三狗之夜乐队 |
| [34:06] | You don’t just pay off Three Dog Night. | 不是付钱就能了事的 |
| [34:08] | And we flew in special musical guests to join them. | 而且我们还请来了特别的音乐嘉宾 加入他们的阵容 |
| [34:10] | Marvin Gaye, Jim Croce. | 马文盖、吉姆克罗奇 |
| [34:12] | – Oh, I love Jim Croce. – I know. | 我很喜欢吉姆克罗奇 |
| [34:14] | That’s why I fucking arranged to surprise you with Jim Croce. | 我知道 所以我才请了他 想给你一个惊喜 |
| [34:17] | And Grand Funk Railroad. | 我还请来了大放克铁路 |
| [34:18] | Grand Funk Railroad? The hard rock band? | 大放克铁路?那个硬摇滚乐队? |
| [34:21] | I don’t like Grand Funk Railroad. | -我不喜欢大放克铁路 |
| [34:22] | – You told me you did. – I told you I like funk music, | -你跟我说过你喜欢的 |
| [34:25] | not Grand Funk Railroad. | 我说的是我喜欢放克音乐 而不是大放克铁路 |
| [34:26] | Well, they’re here, they’re high, | 反正他们来了 |
| [34:27] | and they’re ready to play. | 现在兴奋着呢 准备尽兴表演一场 |
| [34:28] | We paid for the cake. | 我们付了蛋糕的钱 |
| [34:30] | Do we get our money back for the cake? | 我们能拿回蛋糕的钱吗? |
| [34:33] | I can’t go through with this. | 我没法把婚礼进行到底 |
| [34:35] | Sorry, I just can’t. | 对不起 我就是做不到 |
| [34:36] | Well, are you gonna let him know that? | 那你会跟他说吗? |
| [34:38] | ‘Cause he thinks he’s getting married in ten minutes. | 他现在还以为 再等十分钟他就能结婚 |
| [34:39] | I can’t. I can’t be the one to tell him. | 我做不到 我没法当面跟他说 |
| [34:42] | I just can’t. | 我就是做不到 |
| [34:47] | Miriam, I have done a lot for you over the years. | 米里亚姆 这些年来我为你做过很多事 |
| [34:51] | I jumped onto a subway track | 我曾经跳上地铁轨道 |
| [34:52] | to retrieve your third-favorite hat. | 取回你第三喜欢的帽子 |
| [34:54] | I came to your apartment at 4:00 a.m. to kill a cockroach. | 我曾经凌晨4点去你的公寓 就为了帮你杀死一只蟑螂 |
| [34:57] | Turned out to be a raisin. | 结果那是一粒葡萄干 |
| [34:58] | I’ve euthanized three of your elderly pets. | 我给你的三只上了年纪的宠物 执行了安乐死 |
| [35:01] | I’ve wrung out your wet bras on hotel terraces. | 我在酒店露台 帮你拧干过湿哒哒的胸罩 |
| [35:04] | I wrestled a Turkish police officer to the ground, | 我曾为了你 把一名土耳其警察摔倒在地 |
| [35:06] | I kept Ethel Merman away from you, but this, | 我帮你拦下了艾瑟儿梅曼的骚扰 |
| [35:09] | this has nothing to do with your career. | 可现在这事跟你的职业没有关系 |
| [35:11] | It’s your personal life, and I got to start drawing lines, | 是你的私人生活 我得开始划清私与公的界线了 |
| [35:14] | and I’m starting today. | 就从今天开始划清 |
| [35:16] | I’m sorry, but you get yourself out of this. | 不好意思 这次你得自己解决问题 |
| [35:29] | She needs someone to laugh with, Philip, | 她需要有人陪她一起笑 |
| [35:30] | and you just don’t make her laugh. | 菲利普 而你没法逗得她笑 |
| [35:32] | Yes, I-I’ve read Portnoy’s Complaint. It’s very funny. | 嗯 我读过《波特诺伊的抱怨》 非常有趣 |
| [35:35] | You just don’t make her laugh at the breakfast table. | 你没法在吃早餐时逗得她笑 |
| [35:37] | That’s the bottom line. | 这是最关键的 |
| [35:39] | Then you should have read Portnoy’s Complaint aloud | 你应该在你们吃早餐时 |
| [35:41] | at the fucking breakfast table, I don’t know. | 大声读《波特诺伊的抱怨》的 我不知道该咋说 |
| [35:43] | Here’s the thing. She likes funk, not Grand Funk. | 事情是这样 她喜欢的是放克音乐 不是大放克乐队 |
| [35:47] | Really, this is your fault | 其实这事怪你 |
| [35:48] | because you picked the name, it’s very confusing. | 是你选中的他们 是你搞错了 |
| [35:50] | It was a very expensive cake. | 那个蛋糕很贵 |
| [35:52] | My girl’s on the phone with the cake place now. | 我助理正在和蛋糕店电话沟通 |
| [35:54] | It was a very expensive cake. | 那个蛋糕很贵 |
| [35:56] | Maybe they can resell it. | 也许他们能转卖给别人 |
| [35:57] | It was a very expensive cake. | 那个蛋糕很贵 |
| [36:01] | I will get you your money back, I promise. | 我会帮你把钱追回来的 我保证 |
| [36:04] | It took her weeks to undo the mess, | 她费了数周时间才收拾了残局 |
| [36:05] | and the whole thing cost her a bloody fortune. | 整件事令她损失了不少钱财 |
| [36:08] | The cake was quite pricey. | 那个蛋糕价格不菲 |
| [36:10] | Yeah. | 我知道 |
| [36:12] | She couldn’t resist Midge, | 她无法拒绝米琪 |
| [36:14] | especially when she was vulnerable. | 尤其是在米琪脆弱的时候 |
| [36:15] | See, Midge drove herself hard, and Susie knew it. | 米琪在事业上很拼 这点苏西清楚 |
| [36:18] | She was a perfectionist and took a lot of risks onstage. | 米琪是完美主义者 |
| [36:21] | – There’s got to be something… – And, shit, most of ’em paid off. | 在舞台上冒了很多次风险 |
| [36:23] | The cake is customized. It’s a specific flavor… | 而她冒的大多数风险都得到了回报 |
| [36:25] | Susie always had a tremendous amount | 苏西对她一向怀有极大的敬意 |
| [36:26] | of respect for her. | |
| [36:27] | A loyalty that couldn’t be shaken. | 以及无法动摇的忠诚 |
| [36:30] | But it was more than that. | 但她对米琪的感情不止如此 |
| [36:32] | Really, in a way, it was love. | 某种程度上可以说那是爱 |
| [36:35] | But you don’t have to throw it out. | 不过也不必把它扔掉 |
| [36:36] | You can donate it to a charity. | 可以捐给慈善机构 |
| [36:38] | And in succeeding years, three of Philip Roth’s | 之后的年月里 |
| [36:40] | most loathsome characters were based directly on Susie. | 菲利普罗斯笔下最令人厌恶的 三个角色都直接取材于苏西 |
| [36:43] | Hawaii fucking sucks. | 夏威夷这地儿烂透了 |
| [36:46] | So what happened? Anyone know? | 那到底发生了什么?有人知道吗? |
| [36:47] | – What happened with what? – Between Midge and Susie. | -什么意思? -米琪和苏西之间 |
| [36:49] | They were inseparable. What the fuck happened? | 她俩一向形影不离 后来怎么回事? |
| [36:51] | Lost in the fog of war. | 真相消失在了 她俩的战争迷雾中 |
| [36:52] | – I don’t think anyone knows. – Anyone alive, at least. | 是的 应该没人知道真相 至少在世的人都不知道 |
| [36:55] | I do. | 我知道 |
| [36:56] | Susie told me one night when she was drunk. | 某天晚上苏西喝醉时告诉了我 |
| [36:59] | A year later, Midge told me the story | 又过了一年 |
| [37:02] | one night when she was drunk. | 米琪在喝醉的某个晚上 告诉了我她俩之间的事 |
| [37:03] | – Well? – Did the stories even match? | 她俩的版本是否相符? |
| [37:05] | Some things did, some didn’t. But I think I got the gist. | 有些地方相符 有些不符 但大体是什么情况我搞懂了 |
| [37:08] | And where it all happened, holy shit. ♪ Da’amiran be’almah ♪ | 事发地点在哪里?天哪 |
| [37:15] | ♪ Ve’imru ♪ ♪ Amen ♪♪ | 1985年 |
| [37:20] | We begin with the silent Amidah, | 我们从默诵阿米达祷文开始 |
| [37:22] | which can be found on page 382. | 祷文在第382页 |
| [37:29] | Little cutie. | 真可爱 |
| [37:31] | I couldn’t resist. | 我是情不自禁 |
| [37:34] | – Does Chava scare you, too? – Huh? | 你跟我一样怕哈娃吗? |
| [37:36] | Corporal Chava, does she scare the shit out of you? | 哈娃下士是不是也让你怕得要死? |
| [37:38] | ‘Cause I think one of these days you’re gonna find my body | 我感觉总有一天 |
| [37:40] | in a date tree. | 你会在枣树上找到我的尸体 |
| [37:43] | Hey, you okay? | 你没事吧? |
| [37:44] | It’s just really warm in here. | 是这里太热了 |
| [37:47] | – And Chava’s terrifying. | 哈娃是很可怕 不好意思 |
| [37:49] | Excuse me, gentlemen, may we help you? | 各位先生 有什么需要效劳吗? |
| [37:52] | FBI, Rabbi. | 我们是联调局的人 |
| [37:54] | – I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. | 拉比 我很抱歉 |
| [37:57] | What? Why? | 什么?为什么这么说? |
| [37:58] | I had no idea they’d come here. | 我不知道他们会来这里 |
| [38:00] | Papa, what’s happening? | 爸爸 发生什么事了? |
| [38:01] | What has your godless mother done now? | 你妈这没有信仰的人又犯了什么事? 你闭嘴 |
| [38:03] | Damn it, Chava, I understand a decent amount of Hebrew. | 哈娃 我听得懂不少希伯来语 |
| [38:05] | – Joel, what is going on? – They’re here for me. | -乔尔 发生什么事了? -他们是来找我的 |
| [38:07] | – For you? Why? – Read this. | -找你?为什么? -看这个 |
| [38:10] | – It’s everything you should know. – Joel. | -你该知道的都写在了上面 -乔尔 |
| [38:12] | – You’re looking for me. I’m Joel Maisel. – Papa. | 我是你们要找的人 我是乔尔梅赛尔 |
| [38:15] | Hands behind your back, please. | -爸爸! -请把双手放在背后 |
| [38:17] | I truly hate New York. | 我真的讨厌纽约 |
| [38:18] | Mr. Maisel, you’re under arrest. | 梅赛尔先生 你被捕了 |
| [38:20] | What?! No, this-this is a mistake. | -什么?不 |
| [38:21] | You have the right to remain silent… | 这是误会 -不是误会 |
| [38:22] | – It’s not. – Joel, what happened? | 乔尔 发生什么事了? |
| [38:25] | – Read the letter. – You have the right to an attorney. | 你看这封信 你有权聘请律师 |
| [38:27] | I have a criminal attorney. | 我有刑事律师 |
| [38:28] | Why do you have a criminal attorney? | 你怎么会请刑事律师? |
| [38:30] | – Let’s go. – Joel?! | -走吧 -乔尔 |
| [38:43] | You rang? | 你打电话找我? |
| [38:45] | Pretty dramatic place to meet. | 这个见面地点真是很有戏剧性 |
| [38:47] | Where is everybody? Where’s the family? | 大家都去哪了?你家人在哪儿? |
| [38:50] | Miriam? | 米里亚姆? |
| [38:52] | Joel’s been arrested. | 乔尔被捕了 |
| [38:53] | – What? When? – About an hour ago. | 什么?什么时候? |
| [38:56] | Right in the middle of services. | 大约一小时前 就在做礼拜时抓走的 |
| [38:58] | Holy shit. For what? | 天哪 是什么原因? |
| [39:02] | – Oh, I think you know. – No, I don’t. | 你应该知道原因 不 我不知道 |
| [39:05] | Racketeering, wire fraud, money laundering. | 敲诈勒索、电汇欺诈、洗钱 |
| [39:08] | Jesus, that’s… that’s terrible. | 天啊 太可怕了 |
| [39:11] | Yes, it is. | 是的 |
| [39:12] | What? | -怎么了? |
| [39:14] | He did this for me. | -他是为了我才做这些事的 |
| [39:15] | For you? What are you talking about? | 为了你?你在说什么? |
| [39:17] | You sold me to Frank and Nicky. | 你把我卖给了弗兰克和尼基 |
| [39:19] | – You sold me to the mob. – I did not. | -你把我卖给了黑帮 -我没有 |
| [39:22] | And Joel made a trade years ago. | 乔尔几年前做了一笔交易 |
| [39:24] | Him for me. It’s all here. | 用他自己交换我 都写在这里了 |
| [39:26] | – Miriam… – He’ll be in jail for years, Susie. | -米里亚姆… -他会在监狱里蹲很多年 苏西 |
| [39:29] | Now, wait a minute. | 等一下 |
| [39:30] | You knew I was involved with those guys. | 你不是不知道 我和那群人有牵连 |
| [39:32] | You knew Frank and Nicky. | 你也认识弗兰克和尼基 |
| [39:33] | But you told me I was free of them, | 但你跟我说我已经摆脱了他们 可实际没有 |
| [39:35] | and I wasn’t, not until Joel did what he did. | 乔尔跟他们做了交易后 我才摆脱他们 |
| [39:38] | Okay, news flash. This is show business, lady. | 好吧 一则快讯 这是演艺界的常态 女士 |
| [39:40] | – You lied to me. – That’s show business, too. | 你骗了我 这也是演艺界的常态 |
| [39:43] | Don’t talk down to me. | 别一副我是傻子的语气 |
| [39:44] | When you and I started, those guys owned everyone. | 你和我开始干这行时 那伙人控制着所有人 |
| [39:47] | Everyone who had no one looking out for them. | 只有没人照应的人 才被他们控制着 |
| [39:50] | Oh, now don’t talk down to me. | 这下是你别把我当傻子了 |
| [39:55] | Who owns you now, Susie, today? | 现在谁控制着你 苏西? |
| [39:58] | Who owns me? I own myself. | 我是说如今 谁控制着我?是我自己 |
| [40:01] | – That’s not what people tell me. – What people? | -我听说的可不是这样 -听谁说的? |
| [40:03] | They say all these casinos you’ve been booking me in | 他们说 你安排我搞演出的所有赌场 |
| [40:05] | is to pay off your goddamn gambling debts. | 全是为了还清你的赌债 |
| [40:08] | Oh, so let me get this straight. You’re saying you hate | 咱们说清楚一件事 |
| [40:09] | those big casino paychecks? | 你的意思是 你讨厌赌场给你开的那些丰厚报酬? |
| [40:12] | Huh? The suites with the private pools, | 带私人泳池的套房? |
| [40:13] | that’s making you feel owned? | 这些使你有被人控制的感觉? |
| [40:15] | I didn’t want to do those casino gigs, Susie, | 我本来就不想 接那些赌场演出 苏西 |
| [40:17] | – but you kept pushing and pushing. – Not true! | -是你硬要我接 -才不是这样! |
| [40:20] | I’ve been on the road for 15 years, I needed a break. | 我已经搞了15年的巡演 本来就想休息了 |
| [40:22] | And you slammed me into three shows a night, | 你却让我每周演出六晚 |
| [40:24] | six nights a week. | 每晚演出三场 |
| [40:25] | Christmas off, Thanksgiving off, Hanukkah off! | 你圣诞节休息 感恩节休息 光明节也休息 |
| [40:28] | No one gets fucking Hanukkah off. | 没哪个艺人能在光明节休息! |
| [40:30] | Jackie Mason doesn’t get Hanukkah off. | 连杰基梅森都不能! |
| [40:31] | How much do you owe Caesars, Susie? Harrah’s? | 你欠凯撒宫赌场多少钱? -哈拉斯赌场呢? -等等 |
| [40:34] | – Hold on. – The Flamingo? | 火烈鸟赌场呢? |
| [40:35] | – The Sands? – Who are these people telling you all of this? | 是谁告诉你这些的?告诉我是谁 |
| [40:37] | I want names. | |
| [40:38] | Why, so you can blackball them? | 告诉你了 你好跟他们绝交? 甚至报复? 甚至报复? |
| [40:41] | – Or worse? | – Or worse? |
| [40:45] | Miriam, you know me. You know who I am. | 米里亚姆 你了解我 你知道我的为人 |
| [40:48] | Do I? | 你确定? |
| [40:50] | Twenty-five years you’ve known me. We’re friends. | 你认识我25年了 我们是朋友 |
| [40:52] | Friends? | 朋友? |
| [40:54] | Boy, that’s convenient. | 好家伙 这说辞真好使 |
| [40:57] | The first time you call me a friend | 你第一次说我们是朋友 |
| [40:59] | is when you’re caught. | 竟然是在你被拆穿的时候 |
| [41:03] | My team’s gonna order an audit of your books. | 我会叫我的团队 向税务人员申请查你的账 |
| [41:06] | – An audit? – I hope you don’t fight them. | 查账? 希望你不要和他们打起来 |
| [41:08] | You used to trust me. | 你曾经信任我的 |
| [41:10] | You sound like George Toledano now. | 你现在说话的样子 跟乔治托莱达诺似的 |
| [41:12] | In fact, this is exactly what he did to Gordon. | 你对我的所作所为 也正好是他对戈登的所作所为 |
| [41:14] | Made deals behind his back. | 背着戈登做交易 |
| [41:16] | It’s what got him fired. | 所以他才被炒掉了 |
| [41:18] | You’re comparing me to George Toledano? | 你把我比作乔治托莱达诺 |
| [41:20] | Fuck you! You are a star because of me. | 去你的!你成名都是多亏了我 |
| [41:23] | Or in spite of you. | 没你我会更红 |
| [41:24] | You were a housewife. You were nothing. | 你那时是个家庭主妇 什么都不是 |
| [41:27] | You should leave. | 请你出去 |
| [41:28] | I’m not leaving. | 我不走 |
| [41:30] | Al is right outside the door. | 阿尔就在门外 |
| [41:32] | Oh, you’re gonna have your security | 你打算叫你的保镖硬拖我出去? |
| [41:33] | escort me out of the building? | |
| [41:35] | Are you fucking kidding me?! | 你是在搞笑吗? |
| [41:39] | Fine. I got what I needed out of you. | 算了 反正我从你身上得到了我想要的 |
| [41:42] | Wish I could say the same. | 遗憾的是 反之不成立 |
| [41:44] | You ungrateful cunt. | 你这个忘恩负义的婊子 |
| [41:47] | This is how I’m gonna remember you, Susie. | 苏西 |
| [41:51] | Small. | 今后我会记得你是这种人 |
| [41:59] | – Well, it’s that time | 小家子气 |
| [42:02] | nobody’s been waiting for. | 没人料到的情况出现了 |
| [42:03] | Buckle up, because I bring you our guest of honor… | 系好安全带 |
| [42:07] | – and she’s not here. | 因为我给你们请到了一位贵宾 她此刻却不在这里 |
| [42:09] | What the hell? I thought we locked the doors. | 搞什么? |
| [42:12] | – ♪ Around the world ♪ | 我还以为我们把门锁好了呢 |
| [42:14] | ♪ The trip begins with a kiss… | 那段旅程始于一个吻 |
| [42:18] | I bowl with the gals from The B-52’s. | 我和B52乐队的一个女孩 打过保龄球 |
| [42:21] | I’m gonna tell them to book you in their next video. | 我要跟他们说 让他们制作下个视频时请你们参演 |
| [42:23] | You’re phenomenal. | 你们太出色了 |
| [42:25] | – You’re up, boss. – Christ on the cross, all right. | -该你上台了 老板 |
| [42:28] | Adios, amigos. | -天啊 好吧 |
| [42:30] | ♪ Without wings, without wheels ♪ | 没有翅膀 没有车轮 |
| [42:33] | Susie, good. | 苏西 |
| [42:34] | – Hope everything came out okay. | 很好 一切都还顺利吧? |
| [42:37] | Our guest of honor, everyone, Susie Myerson. | 各位 有请我们的贵宾 |
| [42:45] | Wow. Over 30 years in the business, | 苏西梅尔森发言 我从业30多年 |
| [42:48] | and this is who shows up to celebrate me. | 来庆祝我的就这么点人 |
| [42:51] | – It’s a real who’s who of who gives a fuck. | 这是真正的“谁他妈在乎”名人录 |
| [42:54] | I mean, I haven’t been this uninterested | 我很久没有这么 |
| [42:56] | in what a group of people had to say since that time | 没兴趣了解一群人有什么话要说了 |
| [42:58] | – I went to an AA meeting. | 上次这么没兴趣 是我参加戒酒会的时候 |
| [43:01] | Now, what’s there to say about Aaron Lebowitz? | 好了 关于亚伦莱博维茨 有什么可说的呢? |
| [43:05] | This man has a roster of some of the best comics | 这人手上有一打最优秀的喜剧演员 |
| [43:09] | that I dropped five years ago. | 都是我五年前抛弃了的 |
| [43:12] | They’re funnier than that joke. | 你本身比这段子更搞笑 |
| [43:14] | Face it, you are the Jim Belushi of managers | 面对现实吧 你是经纪人中的詹姆斯贝鲁什 |
| [43:16] | who couldn’t even sign Jim Belushi. | 连詹姆斯贝鲁什都签不下来 |
| [43:19] | And Carmine, wow. | 卡迈恩 |
| [43:21] | I will say this. You have one of the most | 哇 |
| [43:24] | unique acts in comedy. | 我给你这样的评价 你的喜剧表演非常独特 |
| [43:25] | Unfortunately it’s Sam Kinison’s. | 不幸的是 |
| [43:29] | Before I got up here, I found out | 那是萨姆基尼森创造的风格 |
| [43:32] | this isn’t a paid gig for any of you, | 我在上台之前 发现你们来这里演出全都没有报酬 |
| [43:34] | which means my ass isn’t getting paid either, | 这意味着我也没有报酬 |
| [43:36] | so I’ll make it fucking brief. | 所以我要长话短说 |
| [43:38] | I’m supposed to say something sincere now, yeah? | 现在我得说些真心话了 |
| [43:42] | Okay. Uh, you know, this is the only business | 行吗?嗯 演艺圈是唯一会容忍 |
| [43:46] | that would ever put up with a bitch like me. | 我这种贱人的行业 |
| [43:49] | – Suckers! | 憨包们! |
| [43:53] | Always an inspiration. Thank you, Susie. | 我们总能从你身上得到鼓舞 谢谢你 苏西 |
| [43:56] | – You get the cream puffs? – Right here. | -拿了奶油泡芙吗? -在这里 |
| [43:57] | Get my car. | 去拿我的外套 等等 |
| [43:59] | Now hold it right there, young lady. | 先别走 年轻的女士 |
| [44:01] | We got one more thing to throw at you. | 我们还有一样东西送给你 |
| [44:02] | – Ah, fuck me with a fork. | 我勒个去 |
| [44:06] | We have a special video tribute. Fun, huh? | 我们制作了一个特别的致敬视频 |
| [44:10] | You’ll like this. | 有意思吧?你们会喜欢的 |
| [44:12] | Lower the screen, guys. | 把幕布降下来 伙计们 |
| [44:15] | Okay, what’s the rush? | 急什么呢? |
| [44:16] | Do we or do we not have the latest | 伙计们 |
| [44:18] | in cutting-edge technology, people? | 我们到底有没有 最新的尖端技术? |
| [44:21] | Come on, come on. | 快点! |
| [44:23] | Dim the lights, guys. | 把灯调暗 |
| [44:28] | – Fuckity-fuck. – What the hell is this? | 伙计们 这是搞什么? |
| [44:38] | Forget the tripod, you’re not making Citizen Kane. | 别管三脚架了 你又不是在拍《公民凯恩》 |
| [44:40] | No. No way in hell. | 不 绝不可能 顺便说一下 这些都会放进去 全都不会剪掉 好了 |
| [44:46] | Okay. While my friend Imogene performs | 好的 我朋友伊莫金正在这边 |
| [44:49] | variations on scenes from Chinatown, | 表演类似《唐人街》里的片段 |
| [44:51] | let me proceed. | 我继续说 |
| [44:52] | So, hey there. | 各位好 |
| [44:56] | – Have you had fun trying to avoid saying my name all night? | 整晚都在回避提起我的名字 那你们玩得开心吗? |
| [44:59] | Hope none of you had the breaded shrimp. | 但愿你们都没吃面包虾 |
| [45:01] | They’ve been in the freezer since the last time | 杰里刘易斯再也不幽默之后 |
| [45:02] | Jerry Lewis was funny. | 面包虾就一直在冰箱里冻着 |
| [45:04] | – You know, I thought about making a sex tape | 我本来想为这次聚会 |
| [45:06] | just to crank this party up a notch, | 拍一段性爱录像 |
| [45:08] | – but I was afraid it would get laughs. – | 恶搞一下的 但我担心那样会惹人狂笑 |
| [45:10] | I’m sorry I couldn’t be there in person tonight, | 很抱歉今晚我不能到场 |
| [45:13] | although I dressed for the occasion. | 不过我为这次聚会特地打扮了一下 |
| [45:15] | I’m actually in New Mexico. | 其实我现在在新墨西哥… |
| [45:16] | – Kansas. – Kansas. Sorry. | -是堪萨斯 -是堪萨斯 不好意思 |
| [45:19] | – I was wondering why New Mexico had a Wizard of Oz museum. – | 我之前还纳闷怎么新墨西哥 会有《绿野仙踪》博物馆 |
| [45:22] | Now, a lot of you have said | 你们中的很多人 |
| [45:24] | a lot of appropriately inappropriate things | 今晚都恰如其分地发表了很多 |
| [45:26] | about Susie Myerson tonight, | 关于苏西梅尔森的不恰当的评价 |
| [45:28] | most of which is probably earned | 大部分评价很可能是她当得起的 |
| [45:29] | and half of which is probably true, | 一半的评价很可能属实 |
| [45:30] | so you’ve got that covered. | 所以很多事都已经被你们说了 |
| [45:32] | What I’m here to say | 我现在要说的是 |
| [45:34] | is that Susie made me what I am today. | 是苏西成就了今天的我 |
| [45:38] | She saw a nervous breakdown and turned it into a career. | 她当初看见我精神崩溃 然后把我的危机化为了一份职业 |
| [45:42] | No, a life. | 不 是化为了新的人生 |
| [45:45] | I don’t know if I ever really thanked you | 我不知道我以前有没有 |
| [45:46] | for that, Susie. | 为此好好感谢过你 苏西 |
| [45:48] | Don’t get me wrong, we had our spats. | 不要误会我的意思 |
| [45:51] | Oh, many, many spats. | 我们吵过架 |
| [45:54] | And one really big one towards the end. | 吵过很多次 最后一次还吵得很凶 |
| [45:57] | But we had our good times, too. | 但我们也有过美好的时光 |
| [46:00] | I’ve gotten to hang out with some of the funniest people | 我已经和这个星球上 最逗的一些人玩过了 |
| [46:02] | on the planet, but no one’s made me laugh like Susie. | 但没有人能像苏西那样使我大笑 |
| [46:06] | [scattered] Aw. | |
| [46:07] | I’ve gotten a little nostalgic lately | 最近回忆起那些年的事 |
| [46:09] | thinking about those years. | 搞得我有点怀旧了 |
| [46:11] | Remember the plunger? Do you have that still? | 你还记得那个皮搋子吗? 你还留着吗? |
| [46:14] | And the arthritis telethon and hiding from Sophie Lennon. | 还有那场关节炎电视马拉松 还有我们躲避苏菲列侬的事 |
| [46:19] | “Doink”? Remember “doink”? | “锵” 还记得“锵”吗? |
| [46:22] | And the smell of the Gaslight. | 还有煤气灯咖啡馆的气味 |
| [46:25] | Jackie. | 杰基 |
| [46:27] | I was thinking about Jackie the other day. | 前几天我还想起了杰基 |
| [46:29] | I still miss that weirdo. | 我还是很想念那个怪胎 |
| [46:34] | What do you say… | 你说这样好不好? |
| [46:36] | What do you say we get together | 下次我回城里 |
| [46:38] | next time I’m back in town? | 我们聚一聚怎么样? |
| [46:40] | We’ll meet on neutral turf, anywhere you want. | 我们可以选个中立地点见面 地点随你定 |
| [46:43] | Anywhere but a synagogue. | 只要不是犹太教堂就行 |
| [46:44] | The Jews have suffered enough. | 犹太人受的苦难够多的了 |
| [46:48] | I hope you want to do that, and soon, ’cause | 我很希望你也想聚一聚 |
| [46:51] | we are not getting any younger. | 要聚就赶快 我们已经不年轻了 |
| [46:55] | So… | 好了… |
| [46:59] | tits up, old friend. | 振作起来 |
| [47:01] | – [scattered] Aw. – Tits up. | 老朋友 |
| [47:04] | And I hope to see you soon. | 振作起来 但愿很快就能见到你 |
| [47:11] | – You got to turn off the camera. | 摄影机可以关了 |
| [47:13] | I can’t find the button. | 我找不到按钮 |
| [47:15] | It’s the same button you pushed to turn it on. | 就是打开摄影机的那个按钮 |
| [47:17] | Fuckity-fuck. | -该死… |
| [47:18] | Right there. It’s the little red… | -就在那儿 就是那个小红… |
| [47:20] | How’s that for a finale, people? | 晚会以这个结束棒不棒 各位? |
| [47:26] | – Get me a number for Midge. – Her girl just called it in. | 把米琪的电话号码找来 |
| [47:28] | Car’s all ready. | 她的助理刚刚打电话来了 车准备好了 |
| [47:30] | Thank you all for coming. | 谢谢大家的光临 |
| [47:32] | Oh, and no one gets out without pitching in | 谁不给杰基德拉皮特拉基金会 |
| [47:35] | at least a hundred bucks | 捐至少一百美元 |
| [47:36] | to the Jackie Dellapietra Foundation. | 就别想出去 |
| [47:38] | At least. | 至少一百 |
| [48:02] | Think I’m gonna walk home, Dennis. | 我想走路回家 丹尼斯 |
| [48:04] | Nice night for it, ma’am. | 祝你有个美好的夜晚 女士 |
| [48:06] | Yeah. Nice night. | 嗯 今晚是很美好 创意监督 朝思 |
| [48:08] | ♪ The words I have to say ♪ | |
| [48:11] | ♪ May well be simple, but they’re true ♪ | |
| [48:20] | ♪ Until you give your love ♪ | |
| [48:23] | ♪ There’s nothing more that we can do ♪ | |
| [48:32] | ♪ Love is the opening door ♪ | |
| [48:38] | ♪ Love is what we came here for ♪ | |
| [48:44] | ♪ No one could offer you more ♪ | |
| [48:49] | ♪ Do you know what I mean? ♪ | |
| [48:55] | ♪ Have your eyes really seen? ♪ | |
| [49:03] | ♪ You say it’s very hard ♪ | |
| [49:06] | ♪ To leave behind the life we knew ♪ | |
| [49:15] | ♪ But there’s no other way ♪ | |
| [49:18] | ♪ And now it’s really up to you ♪ | |
| [49:28] | ♪ Love is the key we must turn ♪ | |
| [49:33] | ♪ Truth is the flame we must burn ♪ | |
| [49:39] | ♪ Freedom the lesson we must learn ♪ | |
| [49:44] | ♪ Do you know what I mean? ♪ | |
| [49:50] | ♪ Have your eyes really seen? ♪ | |
| [50:11] | ♪ Love is the opening door ♪ | |
| [50:17] | ♪ Love is what we came here for ♪ | |
| [50:22] | ♪ No one could offer you more ♪ | |
| [50:27] | ♪ Do you know what I mean? ♪ | |
| [50:34] | ♪ Have your eyes really seen? ♪ | |
| [50:39] | ♪ Do you know what I mean? ♪♪ |