| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:07] | Where’s Nancy? The food’s getting cold. | -南希在哪里?饭菜要凉了 |
| [00:09] | – She’s got a date. – Oh. A date? | -她有个约会 |
| [00:12] | With a boy? | 约会?和一个男生? |
| [00:14] | Yes, dear, a date. Potatoes? | 是的 亲爱的 约会 吃土豆吗? |
| [00:17] | Don’t try to distract me with potatoes. | -别转移话题 |
| [00:19] | But you love potatoes. | -可你喜欢吃土豆啊 |
| [00:20] | I don’t want to talk about potatoes. | -我不想聊土豆的事 |
| [00:21] | Okay. Carrots? | -好吧 那吃胡萝卜? |
| [00:24] | Carole, our daughter is 15. | 卡罗尔 咱们女儿才15岁 |
| [00:26] | Danny… – No dating till she’s married. | -丹尼… -她结婚之前不许约会 |
| [00:28] | Then her husband can decide when she dates. | 等她结婚了 由她老公决定能不能约会 |
| [00:31] | I wonder if he’s going to | 不晓得他会不会准她去参加舞会 |
| [00:32] | let her go to the dance. | |
| [00:33] | Carole bought her a dress | 卡罗尔给她女儿买了条裙子 |
| [00:34] | and she cut the tags. | 她把吊牌都剪掉了 |
| [00:36] | He’s going to have to let her go to the dance. | 他不让她去都不行 |
| [00:37] | Boy, that Nancy is a handful. | 那个南希很难管教 |
| [00:39] | Thank God we didn’t have a girl. | 幸好我们没女儿 |
| [00:41] | Ignore Grandma, she’s drunk. | 奶奶说的话你不要理 我是喝醉了 |
| [00:43] | Well, I think it’s plenty of space for a gathering. | 这里的空间足够办一场聚会 |
| [00:45] | I guess if I move the dining room table out of here, | 如果把餐桌移走 |
| [00:47] | I could set up a punch bowl station and… | 我或许能在这儿 放一张供应潘趣酒的桌子… |
| [00:49] | There’s that smell again. Is it the drapes? | -又是那种气味 |
| [00:52] | No, I don’t think… | 是窗帘吗? -我觉得不是… |
| [00:53] | Anyhow, I’d really like to be able | 我真希望能给她们上舞蹈课 |
| [00:54] | to give them dance lessons. | |
| [00:55] | Every girl should know | 每个女孩都应该知道如何… |
| [00:56] | how to do a proper… | |
| [00:58] | Wait. Is it the carpet? | 等等 是地毯吗? |
| [01:00] | – I already sniffed down there. – Where is it coming from? | -我已经蹲下来闻过了 -这气味是从哪里来的? |
| [01:02] | – Follow me. – What are you doing? | -跟我来 -你要干嘛? |
| [01:04] | I’m gonna race him down the hall. | -我要和他在过道里赛跑 -什么? |
| [01:05] | I just want to see | 我是想看看他能不能跑得过我 |
| [01:07] | if he can outrun me. | |
| [01:08] | Well, of course he can outrun you. | 他肯定跑得过你啊 |
| [01:09] | He’s going to give himself a heart attack. | -他会心脏病发作的 |
| [01:11] | Thank God we didn’t have a girl. | -幸好我们没女儿 |
| [01:13] | They’re the worst. | 他们夫妻俩真惨 |
| [01:14] | Ignore Grandma, honey. | 奶奶说的话你不要理 |
| [01:15] | And Grandpa. Ignore him, too. | 爷爷说的话你也不要理 |
| [01:17] | It’s the piano. | 是钢琴的问题 |
| [01:18] | The piano smells like onions? | 钢琴有洋葱的味儿? |
| [01:20] | Just the black keys. | 只有黑键有味儿 |
| [01:21] | Shirley? Yes? | -雪莉? -唔? |
| [01:23] | The black keys on the piano smell like onions. | 钢琴的黑键有洋葱味儿 |
| [01:25] | – And? – Why? | -然后呢? -怎么会这样? |
| [01:27] | It’s a used piano. | 它之前被人用过啊 丹尼 |
| [01:29] | Danny, honestly, is this really necessary? | 说真的 有这必要吗? |
| [01:32] | You know he’s going to be | 他明天会上《戈登福特秀》 |
| [01:33] | on The Gordon Ford Show tomorrow night. | |
| [01:35] | – Danny Stevens? Really? – Uh-huh. | 丹尼史蒂文斯?真的吗? |
| [01:36] | Oh, my God. I love him. | 天啊 我特别喜欢他 |
| [01:37] | There’s nothing he can’t do. | 他会的东西老多了 |
| [01:39] | He sings, he dances. | 会唱歌 |
| [01:41] | He visits sick children. Constantly. | 会跳舞 他还经常探望生病的儿童 |
| [01:43] | – Can’t stay away from them. – The sicker the better. | -简直离不开他们 -病得越重越好 |
| [01:45] | You guys want to come to the show tomorrow? Watch him live? | 你们明天想去现场看节目吗? |
| [01:47] | – Are you serious? – We would love that. | -真的可以? -我们高兴都来不及呢! |
| [01:49] | How would we get tickets? | 怎么搞到门票呢? |
| [01:51] | Well, lucky for you, | 有个熟人可以搞到 |
| [01:52] | you’ve got someone on the inside. | |
| [01:53] | How fabulous. Who? | 太棒了!是谁? |
| [01:55] | Me. I’m on the inside. | 我 我可以帮你们搞到 |
| [01:56] | – I don’t understand. – I work on the show. | -不懂 -我在那个节目里工作 |
| [01:59] | So, you know someone who can get us tickets? | 意思是你认识某个人 他能帮我们搞到门票? |
| [02:00] | Yes. Me. | 是的 就是我 |
| [02:04] | I can get you tickets. | 我可以帮你们搞到门票 |
| [02:06] | Because I work on the show. | 因为我在那个节目里工作 |
| [02:08] | So I’m there. | 我是里面的人 |
| [02:09] | I don’t know what she’s saying. | 我不懂 |
| [02:10] | If I air out that piano, | 如果我给那架钢琴通通风 |
| [02:11] | replace all the artwork, | 把艺术品都换掉 |
| [02:13] | lose the doilies and the plastic, | 丢掉装饰桌垫和塑料饰品 |
| [02:14] | add some flowers, some pillows, paint, maybe… | 再摆些鲜花、靠枕 粉刷一下 也许… |
| [02:17] | – Shirley, I’ll think about it. – Think about what? | -我会考虑的 -考虑什么? |
| [02:19] | Oh, she wants a place to throw a party | 她想找个地方为那些 |
| [02:21] | for those sad, lonely women who pay her for a husband. | 付钱给她做媒的女人办一场聚会 |
| [02:23] | May I just say, thank God we didn’t have a girl. | 幸好我们没女儿 |
| [02:25] | We sure dodged a bullet there, boy. | 这件事上我们确实是躲过了一劫 |
| [02:27] | – Ignore Grandma, sweetie. – Grandpa, too. | -奶奶说的话你别理 |
| [02:30] | Nancy. I know, Daddy. | 亲爱的 -爷爷说的话也是 |
| [02:31] | Let’s just make that a blanket rule, shall we? | 以后他们说的话你全都别理 好吗? |
| [02:36] | Thank you again. | 再次感谢 |
| [02:37] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [02:39] | Miriam, have whoever’s getting us the tickets give us a call. | 米里亚姆 叫那个帮我们搞门票的人 给我们打个电话 |
| [02:42] | I’m getting you the tickets. | 我会帮你们搞到门票 |
| [02:44] | – So, they’ll call? – Yes, they’ll call. | -那他们会打电话来 是吗? |
| [02:46] | We’re so excit… | -是的 他们会打电话来 |
| [02:49] | So, what’s the verdict? | 怎么样?结果如何? |
| [02:51] | Well, the bathrooms work, and there’s a roof. | 浴室可以用 而且有屋顶 |
| [02:53] | You can always just have it at our apartment. | 不能就在我们的公寓里办聚会吗? |
| [02:55] | Too small. I hired a dance instructor. | 空间太小 |
| [02:57] | – Where will he instruct? – Then you’ll have to rent a hall. | 我雇了一个舞蹈老师 -那你就得租个大厅 |
| [02:59] | – With what money, Miriam? – So, skip the dance instructor? | -哪来的钱租? 不请舞蹈老师不就行了? |
| [03:01] | You know absolutely nothing about love. | 你对爱情一无所知 |
| [03:13] | Cue the fan. | 上东区 1973年 |
| [03:16] | Close your eyes. | 闭上眼睛 |
| [03:18] | Picture “love.” | 幻想你的爱情 |
| [03:21] | Do you see a handsome, academic husband? | 你是否看见一个英俊的学霸老公 |
| [03:24] | Children? A modern apartment with skyline views? | 几个小孩 以及一套 能看见天际线的现代公寓? |
| [03:28] | Or do you see a successful orthodontist, | 又或者 你是否看见一个 成功的正畸医师 |
| [03:31] | children, and a two-story colonial somewhere suburban? | 几个小孩 以及一套 位于郊区的殖民特色两层楼房? |
| [03:37] | Perhaps it’s a strapping, strong, high-end contractor, | 也可能你看见的是一个魁梧强壮的 |
| [03:41] | children, in a renovated farmhouse | 高端承包商、几个小孩 |
| [03:43] | that makes your heart skip a beat. | 以及一栋令你心动不已的 修葺一新的农舍 |
| [03:45] | Whatever “love” looks like to you, | 无论你理想的爱情是什么模样 |
| [03:47] | I can help you find it. | 我都可以帮你圆梦 |
| [03:51] | Here at Rose Weissman’s “One Plus One Equals Love” | 在罗斯韦斯曼的 |
| [03:54] | romance emporium… | “一加一等于爱情”浪漫商场 |
| [03:56] | …we cater to your every | 我们迎合你的每一个浪漫… |
| [03:58] | romantic… Every romantic… | 每一个浪漫… |
| [04:04] | Every… I don’t know what you’re doing. | 每一个… 我不知道你在做什么 |
| [04:06] | Cut. | 停 |
| [04:07] | I’m sorry, but he’s flapping his arms | 抱歉 |
| [04:09] | like he’s flying south for the winter. | 他挥手臂的样子 像是要飞到南方过冬似的 |
| [04:13] | What? | 怎么了? |
| [04:14] | So, Rose, you look wonderful. | -罗斯 |
| [04:16] | – Thank you. – Now, Kurt here | 你的样子美极了 -谢谢 |
| [04:17] | was just trying to tell you to keep moving. | 库尔特刚才那动作的意思 只是叫你继续前进 |
| [04:21] | Remember? You got to keep moving | 记得吗? 你得继续前进 |
| [04:23] | until you hit this mark, here. You see? | 直到踩到这个标记 看见了吗? |
| [04:26] | Yes, but it just feels so awkward, | 看见了 |
| [04:28] | and there are so many stairs. | 但是这样感觉很别扭 而且阶梯有那么多级 |
| [04:29] | Well, you look wonderful. | 你的样子美极了 |
| [04:31] | Can’t I just do it from up there? | 不能让我就在上面拍吗? |
| [04:32] | That’s not where your end light is. | 光不是打在那儿的 |
| [04:34] | Well, maybe if I didn’t have to… | 也许我不必… |
| [04:35] | You do. But you really look wonderful. | 必须这样 不过你的样子真的美极了 |
| [04:39] | No. | 不要 |
| [04:40] | Miriam? | 米里亚姆? |
| [04:41] | Coming. | 我来了 |
| [04:44] | Hi. What’s up? It’s going great. | 怎么了?拍摄得很顺利 |
| [04:47] | – It is? – Yes. | -是吗? -是的 |
| [04:48] | There’s a considerable amount | 我听到很多人都在咕哝 |
| [04:49] | of groaning from the crew. – That seems bad. – Nope. | 拍得似乎并不顺利 |
| [04:52] | 196 takes is completely the norm. | 没有 一个镜头拍196遍完全正常 |
| [04:54] | This is ridiculous. I need to lie down. | 太离谱了 我得躺会儿 |
| [04:55] | Mama, you wanted this, | 妈妈 是你想拍这个的 记得吗? |
| [04:57] | remember? You wanted to take the business regionally. | 你想扩大业务 |
| [05:00] | You wanted to shoot a commercial. | 你想拍支广告 |
| [05:02] | Hey, everyone. We’re doing great here. Almost ready. | 喂 各位 我们这边没事 就快好了 |
| [05:05] | I am not an on-camera person. | 我不是一个擅长面对镜头的人 |
| [05:07] | Sure you are. Right, Eddie? | 你当然擅长 对吧 艾迪? |
| [05:09] | She looks wonderful. | 她的样子美极了 |
| [05:11] | He’s very good. | 他很厉害 |
| [05:12] | I don’t understand why we can’t get | 为什么我们不能请别人来扮演我? |
| [05:14] | someone else to play me. | |
| [05:15] | – Like who? – Doris Day. | -比如谁? -多丽丝戴 |
| [05:17] | Doris Day doesn’t scream “Rose Weissman.” | 多丽丝戴不是很像罗斯韦斯曼 |
| [05:20] | You do it. | 你来演吧 |
| [05:21] | Your face still has traces of my face in it, | 你的脸依然残留着我的脸的特点 |
| [05:23] | so it’s almost the same face. | 所以跟我的脸几乎是一模一样 |
| [05:25] | That’s a weird way of saying “you’ve had work done.” | 说人家整过容 也不用说得这么怪吧 |
| [05:27] | I’m ruining it. | 我把这事儿搞砸了 |
| [05:29] | This whole thing that you’ve put together, | 整件事 |
| [05:31] | I’m ruining it and making a complete fool of myself | 被我搞砸了 |
| [05:34] | – in the process. – I’ll tell you what. | 我还出了很多洋相 |
| [05:36] | Forget about the walking. | 这样吧 咱们不边走边拍了 |
| [05:37] | You stand here, in your light. | 你就站在给你打光的这儿 |
| [05:39] | I’ll stand there, next to the camera, | 我就站在那儿 |
| [05:41] | and you can just talk to me. | 你直接对着我念台词 |
| [05:42] | Stand there and tell me all about love | 站这儿 |
| [05:45] | and how to get a husband. | 对着我说关于爱情的台词 以及如何找到一个老公 |
| [05:46] | Okay, let’s roll. | 好了 |
| [05:48] | Quiet on set, please. | 开拍 现场安静 |
| [05:49] | Mama… | 妈妈 |
| [05:50] | …you really do look wonderful. | 你的样子真的很美 |
| [05:53] | “One Plus One Equals Love,” take 197. Mark. | “一加一等于爱” 第197遍 打板 |
| [05:59] | Close your eyes and picture love… | 闭上眼睛 幻想你的爱情 神奇的梅赛尔太太 |
| [06:07] | Miriam? | 1961年 |
| [06:08] | Miriam? | -米里亚姆? |
| [06:10] | What? | -干嘛? |
| [06:11] | The stove won’t light again. | 炉子又打不着火了 |
| [06:13] | Did you turn it on? | 你把打开燃气了吗? |
| [06:14] | Of course I turned it on. | 当然打开了 |
| [06:16] | Sometimes you don’t turn it on. | 有时你就没有打开 |
| [06:17] | One time, I didn’t turn it on. One time. | 我只有一次没打开而已 |
| [06:20] | Stand still. What? | -站着别动 -什么? |
| [06:22] | Not you. | -不是说你! |
| [06:23] | Miriam, why am I standing still? | -米里亚姆 为什么叫我站着别动? |
| [06:25] | – Not you. Esther. – Ah… | 不是说你 |
| [06:26] | Hold still. | 艾斯特 别动 |
| [06:28] | Papa, get Ethan ready to go. | 爸爸 叫伊森准备好去学校 |
| [06:29] | I’m busy with his piano lesson. | 我正忙着指导他弹钢琴 |
| [06:31] | He needs to get ready for school. | 他得准备去学校了 |
| [06:34] | I can’t make tea. Stop it, Esther. | 我没法煮茶 别动 艾斯特 |
| [06:35] | Ow. Mama, stop. – This is a good time | 此刻就是学习如何排除杂念 |
| [06:37] | to learn how to tune out | |
| [06:38] | everything in your life but the music. | 一心专注在音乐上的最佳时机 |
| [06:40] | – Ow! – Stand still. | -站着别动 |
| [06:41] | I need some tea! | -我想要煮点茶 |
| [06:42] | Have you ever seen Vladimir Horowitz | 你见过弗拉基米尔霍罗威茨 |
| [06:44] | hold a toy in one hand | 一只手拿着玩具 |
| [06:46] | while playing Rachmaninoff with the other? | 一边跟另一个人合奏 |
| [06:48] | I’ll answer for you. You have not. | 拉赫玛尼诺夫的曲子?你还没见过 |
| [06:50] | – Papa? – Abe! | -爸爸! -安比 |
| [06:51] | I don’t like this. | 我不喜欢做这事 |
| [06:52] | Well, right now, no one is enjoying it. | 这会儿没人能享受音乐 |
| [06:54] | I need help with the stove. | -有谁来帮我点燃炉子? |
| [06:56] | I need help with her hair. | -有谁来帮我给她梳头发? |
| [06:57] | I’m busy with the boy. | 我正忙着指导伊森! |
| [06:59] | Okay, stop. | 好了 别弹了 |
| [07:02] | I will play the piece for you again. | 我再给你演示一遍 |
| [07:04] | Really listen, huh? | 专心听 |
| [07:07] | This is what you are aspiring to. | 你得以弹成我这样为目标 |
| [07:13] | See how nice it sounds without the car? | 这听起来是不是很悦耳? |
| [07:16] | Oh, thank God, Zelda. | 幸好你来了 |
| [07:17] | This morning’s been a nightmare. | 泽尔达 今天早上真是一场噩梦 |
| [07:19] | – The pilot’s out. – What? | 打火针坏了 什么?米里亚姆 |
| [07:20] | Miriam, the pilot’s out. Abe, the pilot’s out. | 打火针坏了! 安比 打火针坏了! |
| [07:24] | It’s fine. Easy to fix. | 没事 很容易修 |
| [07:25] | Miriam, it’s easy to fix. | 米里亚姆 很容易修! |
| [07:27] | Abe, Zelda’s here. She says it’s easy to fix. | 安比 泽尔达来了 她说很容易修! |
| [07:30] | What? Zelda’s gonna fix the stove. | -你说什么? -泽尔达会修好炉子 |
| [07:32] | Well, what’s wrong with the stove? | 炉子有什么问题? |
| [07:34] | The pilot light is out, Mr. Weissman. | 打火针坏了 韦斯曼先生! |
| [07:36] | Zelda? | 泽尔达 |
| [07:37] | What are you doing here? | 你来这里做什么? |
| [07:38] | She’s fixing the stove. | 她在修炉子! |
| [07:39] | Oh. Okay. | 好的 |
| [07:41] | So, like I showed you last time, | 就像我上次做给你看的那样 |
| [07:42] | all you have to do is light a match, see? | 你只要点燃一根火柴 |
| [07:44] | Then you hold it here, | 把它放在这里 |
| [07:46] | turn the knob, and then it’s lit. | 转动旋钮 就点燃了 |
| [07:47] | My goodness. So complicated. | 我的天啊 太复杂了 |
| [07:49] | Not complicated at all. | 一点都不复杂 |
| [07:50] | I showed you before many, many times. | 我给你演示过很多次 |
| [07:51] | – Did you look in the book? – The book? | -你看那本书了吗? -书? |
| [07:53] | The book I made you, remember? | 我给你写的那本书 还记得吗? |
| [07:55] | All labeled, and there’s pictures. | 都有标注 我还画了图 |
| [07:58] | See, right here under “No flame in stove for tea” | 瞧 在“茶炉打不着火”下面就写着 |
| [08:02] | is “How to fix no flame in stove for tea.” | “如何解决茶炉打不着火的问题” |
| [08:04] | Very easy. A picture of teacup and everything. | 很简单的 看这张画了茶杯什么的画就能解决 |
| [08:07] | Yes, well, luckily it’s working now. | 是的 好在炉子现在能用了 |
| [08:09] | Maybe you could try for next time? | 下次要有问题 你可以试试自己解决 |
| [08:10] | Oh, please, if I did that, I’d blow the entire building up. | 如果我自己来搞 这栋楼会起火灾 |
| [08:13] | Did she fix it yet? | 她修好了吗? |
| [08:14] | She did. She’s a genius. | 修好了 她是个天才 |
| [08:15] | Shoot, I wanted to see her do it. For next time. | 天啊 我想亲眼看她是怎么修的 |
| [08:18] | It’s all in the book I made you. | 解决办法我都在书里写了 |
| [08:19] | Where’d that come from? – I have no idea. | -那书是从哪儿来的? -不知道 |
| [08:21] | It comes from me. I made the book. | 是我写的 瞧 |
| [08:23] | Oh, look, it has pictures. Fun. | 还画了画呢 有意思 |
| [08:25] | I am double-parked, Zelda. | 我的车被别的车挡住了 |
| [08:27] | Oh, do you want some tea, Janusz? | 你想喝点茶吗?我在煮茶 |
| [08:28] | – We have flame. – No, thank you. | -不用了 |
| [08:29] | – You want to come in, Janusz? – No. I am fine here. | -想进来吗? 我站这儿就行了 |
| [08:31] | Just come in and sit. | 进来坐着 |
| [08:33] | I do not want to come in and sit. | 我不想进去坐 |
| [08:34] | This will just take a minute. | 只要一分钟就好了 |
| [08:36] | You say that and then we spend the whole day here. | 说得好听 可一坐就会在这儿待上一整天 |
| [08:39] | Oh, my god, you have to light a match? | 还得点燃一根火柴? |
| [08:41] | If I did this, I’d blow the entire building up. | 要我来弄 整栋楼都会炸掉 |
| [08:42] | You would not blow the entire building up. | 不会炸掉的 |
| [08:44] | She might blow the entire building up. | 她来弄的话 整栋楼是有可能会炸掉 |
| [08:46] | Then let her. | 炸掉就炸掉吧 |
| [08:47] | Janusz. | -亚努西 -想喝茶吗 米里亚姆? |
| [08:49] | You want some tea, Miriam? | 不用 |
| [08:50] | No, I can’t be late for work today. | 我今天可不能迟到 |
| [08:51] | Danny Stevens is on the show tonight, | 丹尼史蒂文斯今天会上我们节目 |
| [08:52] | and Gordon warned us to be on time and bring our A game, | 戈登叫我们要拿出最好的表现 |
| [08:55] | and I have to stop by Ethan’s school | 我还得先去一下伊森的学校 |
| [08:56] | – for this parent thing first. – Hi, Zelda. | 嗨 泽尔达 |
| [08:58] | – Can you fix this? – Of course I can. | 你能帮我把这个弄好吗? 当然可以 |
| [09:01] | – Zelda. – What? | -泽尔达 -怎么了? |
| [09:03] | You have to stop helping these people! | 你不能再帮这些人了! |
| [09:05] | – You don’t work here anymore. – It’s a little girl’s hair. | 你已经不在这里工作了 我这不过是给一个小女孩梳头而已 |
| [09:09] | They didn’t know there was a higher shelf | 他们不知道亚麻衣橱里 |
| [09:11] | in the linen closet. | 有个更高的架子 |
| [09:12] | They forgot how to stack wood in a fireplace. | 他们忘记了怎么在壁炉里堆木柴 |
| [09:16] | A bird flew in and they could not think… | 有次一只鸟飞了进来 |
| [09:19] | …to just open a window to let it out. | 他们想不到打开窗户让它出去 |
| [09:22] | They are grown people. | 他们是成年人了 |
| [09:24] | They have to learn to take care of themselves. | 得学会照顾自己了 |
| [09:25] | They can’t! | 他们没法照顾自己! |
| [09:26] | Zelda… | 泽尔达… |
| [09:28] | Back in the old country… | 在咱们波兰 |
| [09:31] | …when a horse is lame, it is useless, so you shoot it. | 一匹马如果瘸了 没用了 就会被人用枪打死 |
| [09:36] | This is an entire house full of extremely lame horses! | 这一家子人全是瘸了的马! |
| [09:40] | Zelda, could you get that? | -泽尔达 |
| [09:42] | No. | 你能去接下电话吗? -不行! |
| [09:43] | Do not answer the phone! | 不准接电话! |
| [09:48] | Mrs. Weissman, excuse me, | 韦斯曼小姐 不好意思 |
| [09:50] | but I feel very confident | 但我非常确定你会接电话 |
| [09:52] | that you know how to answer a phone. | |
| [09:55] | Oh. Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:58] | Excuse me, but I know how to play. | 不好意思 我知道怎么弹了 |
| [10:02] | Oh, that’s what a fireplace flue is. | 原来这就是壁炉的烟道 |
| [10:04] | I’ve always wondered. | 我一直不知道呢 |
| [10:06] | Once more, with feeling. – Hello? | 再弹一次 带点感情 喂? |
| [10:09] | We have a fuse box? | 我们家有配电箱? |
| [10:11] | What? | 什么? |
| [10:14] | Stopper’s out, I don’t know why it’s not going down. | 怎么这水就是降不下去呢? |
| [10:16] | Something is wrong with the drain. | 下水管有问题 |
| [10:17] | Don’t blame the drain. | 下水管刚安装的时候没问题 |
| [10:18] | The drain was fine when it got here. | |
| [10:20] | I’m not blaming drain. | -我不是在责怪下水管 |
| [10:21] | It’s never the fault of the drain. | -从来都不是下水管的错 |
| [10:22] | Well, water is pouring into | 水正涌进朗鲍尔家 |
| [10:23] | the Ronbauer’s apartment below us, | |
| [10:25] | and the hallway runner’s officially a goner. | 过道上的地毯也报废了 |
| [10:27] | – Here, Zelda. – Thank you, Miss Miriam. | 给 泽尔达 |
| [10:28] | Thank you, Miss Miriam. | -谢谢 -谢谢 |
| [10:29] | I really appreciate your help. | 非常感谢你的帮忙 |
| [10:31] | It’s lucky you were here when this happened, huh? | 幸好有你在 |
| [10:33] | Yes, so lucky, like being a leprechaun. | 是啊 我真走运 跟小矮妖一样走运 |
| [10:35] | Uh-oh, hold the phone. | 等一等 |
| [10:36] | Here we go. I found it. | 出来了 |
| [10:39] | This is definitely not supposed to be in the drain. | 找到了 这玩意怎么会在下水管里? |
| [10:41] | How did that get in there? | 它是怎么进去的? |
| [10:43] | It looks like it was hammered in. | 看样子是被锤进去的 |
| [10:45] | Ethan! | 伊森! |
| [10:46] | What is this? | |
| [10:48] | My boat. | -这是什么? -我的船 |
| [10:49] | And what is your boat doing | 你的船进我的浴缸的 |
| [10:50] | shoved down the drain of my bathtub? | 下水管做什么? |
| [10:51] | It sank. Hello? | 是它沉下去的 |
| [10:52] | Ethan, what have I told you | 关于把东西扔进下水管这事 |
| [10:54] | about putting things down drains? | 我是怎么跟你说的? |
| [10:55] | Nothing. Yes, I have. | -你没说过什么 -不 我说过 |
| [10:57] | When? | -什么时候? -以前不是有个有弹珠的东西吗? |
| [10:58] | I mean… | -什么时候? |
| [10:59] | wasn’t there a thing with a marble? | -以前不是有个有弹珠的东西吗? |
| [11:00] | That was up my nose. | 那是我的鼻子 |
| [11:01] | What about the playing cards | 那被你剪碎的纸牌呢? |
| [11:03] | you cut up and did something weird with? That was a drain, wasn’t it? | 那次不是就跟下水管有关? |
| [11:05] | – No. – Oh. | 无关 |
| [11:07] | Well, I guarantee, in the six years | 我很确定在你出生后的这六年里 |
| [11:08] | you’ve been around, we have discussed | 这事我至少跟你讨论过一次 |
| [11:10] | shoving things down the drain at least once. | |
| [11:11] | Even if it was in the abstract, theoretical, | 至少抽象意义上、理论上 讨论过一次 |
| [11:14] | “If you ever get the chance to, don’t” | 类似“就算有机会做 |
| [11:16] | sense of the question. | 也别做” 这种话 |
| [11:18] | – Okay. | – Okay. -好吧 -好吧 |
| [11:21] | So… | 所以呢… |
| [11:25] | That was the Mendelson’s | 刚才七楼的门德尔松家 |
| [11:28] | on the seventh floor. | 打电话来了 |
| [11:29] | It’s coming through their ceiling as well. | 说他家天花板正在滴水 |
| [11:31] | – Great. – You should go apologize in person. | 你得亲自去道个歉 |
| [11:33] | Their son just graduated law school. | 他家儿子刚从法学院毕业 |
| [11:34] | I will take care of it. | 我会处理的 |
| [11:36] | Remember, my event is Monday, | 记住 |
| [11:38] | so this carpet must be replaced by then. | 我是周一办活动 在那之前得换好新地毯 |
| [11:40] | I cannot expose unmarried women to nude wood floors. | 我不能让未婚女人接触 |
| [11:42] | It would feel like a brothel. | 裸露的木地板 那样像是妓院 |
| [11:44] | And, of course, the bathroom must be working. | 浴室也要弄好 |
| [11:46] | If not, I’d have to change my plans again. | 不然我又得改计划 |
| [11:48] | – Do you understand? – What time is it? | 明白吗? |
| [11:50] | I need confirmation that you understand. | -现在几点了? -你听明白了吗? |
| [11:52] | Shit. I’m so late. What do I do? | 糟了 |
| [11:54] | I’m-I’m supposed to be at Ethan’s school. | 我迟到了 我这会儿应该在伊森学校的 |
| [11:55] | – Mama, can you go? – I have a million things to do, Miriam. | -你能代我去吗? |
| [11:57] | Ah… | -我有无数的事要做 |
| [12:00] | Papa? You’re not busy, right? | 爸爸 你不忙 对吧? |
| [12:02] | Well, I’m due at the Voice in an hour. | 我一小时后得到《乡村之声》 |
| [12:05] | So, not busy. | 那你现在不忙 |
| [12:06] | Can you take Ethan to school | 你能带伊森去学校 |
| [12:07] | and then stick around for the thing? | 为了那事待一会儿吗? |
| [12:08] | What’s “the thing”? | -“那事”是什么事? |
| [12:10] | The thing. Parents come and stare at the kids. | -父母去学校盯着孩子看 |
| [12:12] | The teachers point out their seats, | 老师会指出孩子的座位 |
| [12:13] | you get a snack, someone wets their pants. | 你会得到零食 有的小孩会尿裤子 |
| [12:14] | You’re a terrible salesman. | 你的推销话术太差了 |
| [12:16] | Please? I need to bribe our neighbors not to unleash | 求你了 |
| [12:18] | their newly-minted lawyer son on me. | 我得去贿赂我们的邻居 以免他家律师儿子会对付我 |
| [12:20] | All right, fine. I will go. | 好吧 我去 |
| [12:22] | But I’m warning you, the first person to wet their pants, | 但我警告你 一有小孩尿裤子 |
| [12:25] | I’m out of there. Unless it’s a really good snack. | 我就立马走人 除非零食非常好吃 |
| [12:28] | Deal. | 成交 |
| [12:30] | You can write to him “Care of The Gordon Ford Show.” | 你可以写信给他 收信人是《戈登福特秀》 |
| [12:34] | I don’t know how long it will take | 我不知道他要多久 |
| [12:35] | for him to write you back. He’s very busy. | 才会给你回信 他很忙 |
| [12:39] | Well, he does a show every night. | 他每晚都做节目 |
| [12:40] | That takes up some time. | 很费时间的 |
| [12:43] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [12:45] | My son shoved a toy boat down the bathtub drain | 我儿子把玩具船 塞进了浴缸下水管 |
| [12:47] | and it flooded mine and the two bathrooms below, | 搞得楼下三间浴室都闹水灾了 |
| [12:49] | and 7 and 8C, especially, are not enemies | 其中尤其是7C和8C房 |
| [12:52] | I can afford to have. | 不是我惹得起的人 |
| [12:53] | My floors are warped, my runner’s ruined, | 我家地板翘起来了 过道地毯废了 |
| [12:56] | my mother’s throwing a matchmaking mixer on Monday | 而我妈周一还要办一场相亲派对 |
| [12:58] | and she’s panicked the runner won’t be replaced | 她很恐慌 |
| [13:00] | and the bathroom won’t be working, | 因为我家浴室现在不能用 |
| [13:01] | and for some reason my in-laws’ piano | 并且不知怎么的 |
| [13:03] | smells like a bialy. | 我公婆家的钢琴闻起来有股洋葱味 |
| [13:06] | So, how about the tits on Ursula Andress, huh? | 聊聊乌苏拉安德丝的奶子如何? |
| [13:09] | Sorry, what were you discussing? | -你们刚才在讨论什么? |
| [13:10] | The tits on Raquel Welch. | -拉蔻儿薇芝的奶子 |
| [13:12] | – Anita Ekberg. – Ann-Margaret. | -安妮塔艾克伯格的奶子 -安-玛格丽特的奶子 |
| [13:13] | Danny Stevens. | 是丹尼史蒂文斯 |
| [13:14] | I mean, not his… | 我不是说他的… |
| [13:16] | Anyhow, we’re talking Danny’s spot tonight. | 我们刚才在讨论丹尼今晚上节目的事 |
| [13:18] | He’s coming on to plug his new book. | 他要宣传他的新书 |
| [13:19] | Ah, big gold star for you. | 奖你一颗大大的金星 |
| [13:22] | Now, as you know, Danny… | 你们知道的 丹尼… |
| [13:23] | – Gave me my first job. – First job. | -“给了我第一份工作” -“人很棒” |
| [13:25] | – Great guy. – In-laws love him. | – Great guy. 我公婆很喜欢他 |
| [13:26] | Well, he did and he is. | 就是他给的我第一份工作啊 他人就是很棒啊 |
| [13:28] | So, I want him set up to succeed. | 所以我希望他的访谈成功 |
| [13:29] | His writers may be working on material, | 他的编剧可能会帮他写段子 |
| [13:31] | but be ready in case it falls to us. | 但请做好这任务落到我们头上的准备 |
| [13:34] | – I have a question. – Yes, Mel. | -我有个问题 -问吧 梅尔 |
| [13:35] | How many minutes do you think it will take | 你们认为亚当需要多久 |
| [13:37] | for Adam to give Danny his screenplay? | 才能为丹尼写好剧本? |
| [13:38] | Ten? I say eight. | -十分钟? -八分钟 |
| [13:39] | No longer than four. | -四分钟 |
| [13:40] | Does anyone know a good tile man? | -有人认识不错的瓷砖师傅吗? |
| [13:42] | Midge, we’re mocking Adam here. | -米琪 我们在嘲笑亚当呢 -不好意思 |
| [13:43] | Sorry. One of these days, you’re gonna | 终有一天你得做出决定 |
| [13:45] | have to decide, are you in or are you out? | 要不要和我们一起嘲笑 |
| [13:47] | Uh, everyone to the railings. | 请大家都来栏杆边 |
| [13:53] | To the railings, people. | 请到栏杆边来 各位 |
| [14:00] | Great. | 好的 |
| [14:01] | As many of you know, | 你们许多人应该都知道 |
| [14:03] | I am now officially the new producer | 我现在正式成为了 |
| [14:06] | of The Gordon Ford Show. | 《戈登福特秀》的新任制作人 |
| [14:07] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [14:09] | I just wanted to take a moment | 我想花点时间 |
| [14:10] | to say a few words as we begin this transition. | 在这个过渡时期跟大家讲几句话 |
| [14:13] | Though the departure of George Toledano | 虽然乔治托莱达诺的离去 |
| [14:16] | was abrupt and upsetting to some of you, | 对你们中某些人来说 太过突然 引起了不安 |
| [14:20] | I want to assure you that I am fired up | 但我想告诉你们 |
| [14:23] | and ready to assume the mantle. | 我现在充满干劲 准备好了承担起这个责任 |
| [14:25] | Being a good leader requires not just experience, | 成为一名优秀的领导者不仅需要经验 |
| [14:28] | but empathy, instincts, | 还需要同理心 |
| [14:31] | a cool head. And… | 直觉、冷静的头脑和… |
| [14:36] | Gordon. | 戈登 |
| [14:37] | Hello. | 哈喽 |
| [14:39] | Hey, Mike. You look great up there. | 迈克 |
| [14:41] | New suit? | 你在上面很神气嘛 |
| [14:43] | Ah… | 穿了新西装? |
| [14:44] | just the coat. | 只有上衣是新的 |
| [14:47] | Oh. Please, continue. | 继续讲嘛 |
| [14:48] | Oh, no. I’m-I’m done. | 我讲完了 |
| [14:50] | What? No. You called us to the railings. | 不 |
| [14:52] | We’re at the railings. | 你叫我们到栏杆边来 我们这不是来了吗? |
| [14:53] | Last thing I heard was, um, “cool head.” | 我听到你说的最后一句 是“冷静的头脑” |
| [14:58] | Well, I… | 我只是想让大家知道 |
| [15:00] | just wanted you to know I’m ready, | 我已经做好准备了 |
| [15:02] | and I’m, uh… | 并且我… |
| [15:06] | I’m here for anyone who | 我愿意随时为大家排忧解难 |
| [15:08] | needs… | |
| [15:10] | something. | |
| [15:13] | Uh, my office used to be down there, | 我的办公室以前在下面 |
| [15:15] | but now it’s up here. | 现在转到上面来了 |
| [15:18] | It’s actually still a little bit down there, too, | 其实我依然会偶尔在下面办公 |
| [15:20] | since there was no place up here | 因为上面这儿没地方放嘉宾排表 |
| [15:22] | to put the guest board. | |
| [15:25] | So, if you need to look at the board, it’s down there, | 如果谁需要查看排表 请去那儿看 |
| [15:27] | but if you-you need me, | 但如果谁有事找我 |
| [15:30] | I’m up here. Or down there, sometimes. | 请来上面 |
| [15:33] | When I need to look at the board. | 不过我有时也会在下面 |
| [15:35] | So… | 查看排表 |
| [15:37] | Thanks. | 所以… |
| [15:39] | Oh, wait, official new producer, | 谢谢 等等 |
| [15:41] | I have a question. | 新晋制作人 我有一个问题 |
| [15:43] | Any plans to add more ashtrays to the lobby? | -公司有无计划在大堂添些烟灰缸? |
| [15:45] | Not that I’m aware of. | -据我所知没有 |
| [15:47] | Aw, too bad. | 太糟糕了 |
| [15:48] | I think we could use two more. | 我们需要再添两个的 |
| [15:50] | I can find out where they sell them. | 到时我再看看 |
| [15:51] | I saw a kid | 今天早上我看到 |
| [15:53] | lick the elevator button this morning. | 一个小孩舔电梯按钮 |
| [15:55] | I’ll tell maintenance. | 我会跟维修部门说的 |
| [15:57] | I have this receipt | 我这儿有张晚餐收据 |
| [15:59] | from dinner last night. Do I give that to you? | 是不是得给你? |
| [16:00] | Okay, I’m leaving now. | 好了 我要走了 |
| [16:01] | Wait, official new producer, | 等等!新晋制作人 |
| [16:03] | can we leave, too? | 我们也可以走了吗? |
| [16:06] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [16:13] | Boy. | |
| [16:15] | First day on the job. ♪ Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? ♪ | 第一天上任 |
| [16:29] | ♪ The big bad wolf, the big bad wolf ♪ ♪ Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? ♪ ♪ Tra-la-la-la-la… | 奥尔科特学校 |
| [16:36] | We have the finest school library in New York. | 我们拥有纽约最好的校图书馆 |
| [16:38] | We’re very proud of that. | 这令我们非常自豪 |
| [16:40] | This year, a very esteemed alumnus | 今年有一位备受尊敬的校友 |
| [16:42] | bequeathed us his entire collection of first editions. | 将他的全部初版收藏书籍赠给了我们 |
| [16:45] | Yes? | 什么事? |
| [16:46] | This is a delicious snack. | 这个零食很美味 |
| [16:48] | I’m glad you like it. | 很高兴你喜欢 |
| [16:49] | Crunchy and creamy and nutty. | 脆脆的口感、奶油和坚果 |
| [16:51] | Just a terrific combination. | 真是绝妙的组合 |
| [16:52] | Do the children get the same snack? | -孩子们也会吃到这样的零食吗? |
| [16:54] | They do. | -是的 |
| [16:55] | This is a very good school. | 这真是一所非常好的学校 |
| [16:57] | Okay, I want to show you all something | 好了 |
| [17:00] | we’re very proud of here. | 我想向大家展示 一样我们引以为豪的东西 |
| [17:02] | This is what we call our “Free To Be” time. | 就是我们所说的“自由自在”时段 |
| [17:06] | A portion of each day is set aside | 我们每天都会留出一部分时间 |
| [17:08] | for the students to devote to one subject | 供学生投入到 |
| [17:11] | they particularly excel in. | 他们特别擅长的一门学科 |
| [17:13] | This is our engineering group. | 这是我们的工程设计组 |
| [17:16] | They are building a model of a hotel | 他们正在建造一个 |
| [17:18] | that caters exclusively to pets. | 专门接待宠物的酒店模型 |
| [17:20] | Every room has a patio and built-in water dishes. | 每个房间都有一个露台 |
| [17:23] | Here’s our math group. | 和固定饮水盘 这是我们的数学组 |
| [17:26] | They have one minute to solve a problem. | 他们必须在一分钟之内解一道题 |
| [17:28] | The one who solves the most equations wins a prize. | 解出最多方程式的人会赢得奖品 |
| [17:31] | And, go! | -开始 -开始 |
| [17:33] | Our reading group reads a book a week, | 我们的阅读组每周会读一本书 |
| [17:36] | then they write a play dramatizing it, | 然后将其内容写成一个戏剧 |
| [17:38] | and perform it at lunch in the teachers’ lounge. | 并在午餐时间 在教师休息室表演出来 |
| [17:40] | The astronomy group is over there. | 天文组在那边 |
| [17:43] | They’re selling candy bars to buy a new telescope. | 他们在卖糖果 希望用所得买个新望远镜 |
| [17:46] | I’ve put on ten pounds, all in the name of science. | 为了成全他们的科学梦 我都已经增重了九斤 |
| [17:49] | Now, over here we have our language group. | 这边是我们的语言组 |
| [17:52] | They are currently reading Madeline in French. | 他们目前在阅读 法语版的《玛德琳》 |
| [17:56] | Mrs. Moyers? | 莫耶斯老师? |
| [17:58] | Yes, Mr. Weissman? | 什么事 韦斯曼先生? |
| [18:00] | What is that group over there? | 那个是什么组? |
| [18:02] | Oh, that’s the happy group. | 那是快乐组 |
| [18:04] | – I’m sorry, what? – The happy group. | -抱歉 是什么组? -快乐组 |
| [18:06] | But what do they excel in? | 那他们擅长什么呢? |
| [18:08] | They excel in being happy. | 他们擅长快乐 |
| [18:10] | I don’t understand. | 我不懂 |
| [18:12] | They build a hotel, | 他们建造酒店 |
| [18:14] | they’re buying telescopes, | 他们要买望远镜 |
| [18:16] | they’re basically a fully-functioning | 他们差不多是一家功能齐全的 |
| [18:17] | summer stock company, and that table, | 夏季股票公司 |
| [18:20] | the one my grandson is at, | 可那桌 我孙子坐的那桌就只是在… |
| [18:22] | – is just… – Happy. | 快乐玩耍 |
| [18:24] | They’re just walking in a circle. | -他们只是在绕着圈子玩 |
| [18:26] | Yes. | -是的 |
| [18:28] | – Why? – It makes them happy. | -为什么? -这样做他们快乐 |
| [18:30] | Oh, Mrs. Foster, | 福斯特老师 这位是韦斯曼先生 伊森是他孙子 |
| [18:31] | this is Mr. Weissman. | 福斯特老师 |
| [18:33] | Ethan is his grandson. | 这位是韦斯曼先生 伊森是他孙子 |
| [18:35] | Ethan’s one of the happiest kids we’ve got. | 伊森是我们最快乐的孩子之一 |
| [18:37] | Ethan has a wand. Is he the leader? | 伊森手上拿着一根魔杖 他是领导者吗? |
| [18:39] | There are no leaders. | 这组里没领导者 |
| [18:40] | A hierarchy wouldn’t make them happy. | 等级制度不会让他们快乐 |
| [18:42] | Who decided these groups? | 是谁决定这么分组的? |
| [18:44] | The children take an aptitude test at the beginning of each year. | 孩子们每年年初都会参加测试 |
| [18:46] | The test determines their strengths, | 我们凭测试结果 |
| [18:48] | and that determines their groups. | 判断他们的强项和所属小组 |
| [18:49] | I’m sorry, there’s been a mix-up. | 肯定有什么地方搞错了 阅卷出了错 |
| [18:51] | – A clerical error. – There’s no reason to be upset. | 您没必要不高兴 |
| [18:53] | He’s walking in a circle. That’s it. | 他在绕圈子 就这样而已? |
| [18:56] | Mr. Weissman, Ethan is a sweet, healthy young man | 韦斯曼先生 伊森是一个可爱健康的年轻人 |
| [18:59] | who also happens to be happy. | 他只是恰好也很快乐 |
| [19:00] | So, so happy. | 非常快乐 |
| [19:02] | Maybe the happiest child in the whole school. | -或许是我们学校里最快乐的 |
| [19:03] | Maybe the happiest child we’ve ever had. | -或许是我们学校有史以来最快乐的 |
| [19:05] | In all my years of teaching, | 我从没见过像伊森这样快乐的孩子 |
| [19:06] | I have never met a child | |
| [19:07] | quite as happy as Ethan. | |
| [19:08] | I insist he be tested again. | 我坚决要求你们再测试他一次 |
| [19:09] | Well, next year. | -那得等到明年了 -不行 |
| [19:10] | No, not next year. Now. | 不能等到明年 就现在测 |
| [19:12] | – Mr. Weissman… – I was a tenured professor | 韦斯曼先生… |
| [19:14] | at Columbia University. | 我是哥伦比亚大学的终身教授 |
| [19:16] | I worked at Bell Labs. | 我在贝尔实验室工作过 |
| [19:18] | I have 12 patents pending. | 我有12项专利正在审核中 |
| [19:20] | That is my grandson. He’s a Weissman. | 那是我孙子 是韦斯曼家族的一员 |
| [19:22] | There is no possible way he’s happy. | -他绝不可能快乐 -开始 |
| [19:28] | The whole network is there. | -太好了 -全电视网的人当时都在 |
| [19:30] | The cast, the crew, Philip and Morris, | 演员、工作人员、菲利普和莫里斯 |
| [19:32] | staring right at us. | 都盯着我们看 |
| [19:33] | I say the line. Big laughs. | 我说一句台词之后 众人大笑 |
| [19:35] | Suddenly, a pisher from the end of the table | 突然 |
| [19:38] | pipes up and says, “It’s l’chaim, | 一个毛头小子高声说 “希伯来语的干杯是‘来嗨’ |
| [19:40] | not la-chaim, Mr. Stevens.” | 不是‘乐嗨’ 史蒂文斯先生” |
| [19:41] | First job. First job, okay? | 那是我第一份工作 懂吗? |
| [19:43] | So, I look over at this altar boy | 于是我看向这个年轻人 |
| [19:45] | sitting there in his father’s suit… | 他当时穿着他父亲的西装… |
| [19:46] | It was my father’s suit. | 确实是我父亲的西装 |
| [19:48] | …and I thought, “The kid’s got balls. He reminds me of me.” | 我心想:“这孩子有胆量 |
| [19:50] | So, I fired him. | 让我想起了自己” 于是我把他炒了 |
| [19:53] | Well, hello. | -你好 -米琪 |
| [19:55] | Ah, Midge. – Sorry, just had to fix my face. | 刚才我是去补妆了 |
| [19:57] | Danny, may I present our resident lady writer, | 丹尼 |
| [19:59] | Midge Maisel. | 跟你介绍一下 这是我们的常驻女编剧米琪梅赛尔 |
| [20:00] | Hi. I’m a big fan. | 你好 我是你的忠实粉丝 |
| [20:01] | I’m in your seat, aren’t I? | 我坐的是你的位子 对吗? |
| [20:03] | Well, technically, they’re all owned by NBC. | 严格地说 所有位子都是NBC的 |
| [20:05] | Nope, I know the rules. | 不 我懂规矩 |
| [20:07] | Taking an established seat in a writers’ room | 在编剧室里坐已经有主的位子 |
| [20:09] | is like correcting a man’s Hebrew | 就像是一个内布拉斯加州人 |
| [20:11] | when you’re from Nebraska. | 去纠正别人的希伯来语 |
| [20:12] | – Wisconsin. – There’s room here, Mr. Stevens. | 是威斯康星州人 这里有空位 |
| [20:14] | I’m fine. I actually came in to ask a favor. | 没事 我其实是来求帮忙的 |
| [20:17] | Anything you want, Mr. Stevens. | 请尽管说 |
| [20:18] | I wish you could see yourself right now. | 你看不到自己此刻的样子真是可惜 |
| [20:20] | Tonight, I appear on your show. | 今晚我会上你们的节目 |
| [20:21] | No one’s surprised? Good. You’re professionals. | 没人吃惊?很好 |
| [20:23] | Now, normally | 通常我上节目是为了宣传演出 |
| [20:24] | I’m plugging a gig, I’m in Vegas, | 并且是在拉斯维加斯搞宣传 |
| [20:26] | there’s a new season of my TV show, | 比如我主演的电视剧新出了一季 |
| [20:28] | but this time, I wrote a book. | 可这次我是写了一本书 |
| [20:30] | – Ah. – That’s the book. | 就是这本书 |
| [20:32] | I am an author. | 我是一个作家 |
| [20:34] | Like Dickens, if he grew up in Bensonhurst. | 跟狄更斯一样 只不过他不是在本森赫斯特长大的 |
| [20:36] | A Tale of Two Cities sold | 《双城记》销量超过一亿册 |
| [20:38] | over a hundred million copies, | |
| [20:39] | so I got to sell a hundred and one. | 所以我的书得卖一百零一册 |
| [20:41] | I must kill. | 因此这次的宣传必须成功 |
| [20:42] | With that in mind, | 有鉴于此 |
| [20:44] | I am going to read to you the jokes handed to me | 我想给你们念念 |
| [20:46] | by my team of professional comedy writers this morning. | 今早我的喜剧编剧团队交给我的段子 |
| [20:49] | I’d like your opinion. | 我想听听你们的意见 |
| [20:50] | We are here for you, Danny. Right, boys? | 我们乐意为您效劳 对吧 |
| [20:52] | Midge? – Hell no. | 各位? -米琪? |
| [20:54] | Bastard tried to steal my seat. | -我才不要 那混蛋想抢我的位子 |
| [20:55] | Funny. | 很逗 |
| [20:58] | Uh, “Kennedy just established the Peace Corps. | 肯尼迪最近成立了和平队 |
| [21:01] | Now boring kids can be popular, too.” | 无趣的小孩现在也能变得受欢迎 |
| [21:03] | Next. | 下一个 |
| [21:05] | “Barbie gets a boyfriend. Ken. | 芭比娃娃有男朋友了 是肯 |
| [21:07] | I don’t think it’s gonna last. He seems a little fake.” | 我认为这段恋情不会长久 他看起来有点假 |
| [21:09] | You still with me? | 你们还在听吗? |
| [21:11] | “The Apartment won the Academy Award for best picture. | 《桃色公寓》获得最佳影片奖 |
| [21:14] | Next year, The Sublet.” | 明年获奖的会是《转租公寓》 |
| [21:16] | Okay, so, in your unbiased opinion, | 好了 |
| [21:18] | do you think my writers hate me? | 以你们的公正眼光看 我的编剧们讨不讨厌我? |
| [21:20] | We can come up with new jokes. | 我们可以帮你写新段子 |
| [21:22] | You know, every time you make an appearance | 每次你上访谈节目都会讲段子 |
| [21:24] | on a talk show, you do jokes. | |
| [21:25] | I’m a comedian. If I came on | 我是喜剧演员嘛 |
| [21:27] | and pulled Gordon’s wisdom tooth, it’d be weird. | 如果我上这节目拔戈登的智齿 那就太诡异了 |
| [21:29] | Yes, but, | 没错 |
| [21:31] | now you want people to read a book about your life. | 但这次你的目标 是想让人们读一本关于你人生的书 |
| [21:34] | Why not talk about your life? Talk about your parents. | 你为什么不能谈谈你的人生? 你的父母? |
| [21:36] | Sure. Where’s the funny? | 当然可以 可笑点在哪里? |
| [21:38] | It’s interesting. It’s real. | 这书写得很有趣 很真实 |
| [21:40] | If it’s interesting and real, you can find the funny. | 有趣、真实 自然就有笑点 |
| [21:42] | Oh, great. Homework. Thanks. | 原来你看过我的书了 谢谢 |
| [21:44] | Excuse me, Danny? Gordon’s ready for you. | 丹尼 戈登在等着你过去 |
| [21:46] | Thank you, sweetheart. Kids, find me some jokes. | 谢谢 孩子们 给我找点段子 |
| [21:48] | Open your notebooks, check under the couch cushions, | 在沙发垫下面找一找 |
| [21:50] | channel your drunk uncle Marvin. | 召唤一下酒鬼马文叔叔 |
| [21:52] | Get me those laughs. | 让我能逗笑观众! |
| [21:53] | Take me to your leader. | 带我去见你们头儿吧 |
| [21:56] | No. | 不行 |
| [21:59] | It’s very unusual that a student | 一个学生第二次测验 |
| [22:01] | actually does worse the second time. | 结果更差 实属少见 |
| [22:02] | Across the board on the math, English, science, logic. | 全都比上次差 数学、英语、科学、逻辑… |
| [22:07] | But he did spell his name correctly this time, | 不过这次他把自己的姓名拼对了 |
| [22:10] | which is a big improvement over the last test, | 这相比上次是很大的进步 |
| [22:11] | so that’s exciting. | 这点值得高兴 |
| [22:14] | I just don’t understand. | 我完全不理解 |
| [22:16] | We threw this new test at him out of the blue, | 这次是突然对他搞测验 |
| [22:18] | he probably panicked. | 可能他就慌了 |
| [22:19] | Plus, we took his wand away. | 而且我们还拿走了他的魔杖 |
| [22:21] | That couldn’t have helped. | |
| [22:22] | But he’s a Weissman. | 他可是韦斯曼家族的一员 |
| [22:23] | It’s just one test. It doesn’t mean anything. | 这只是一次测试 说明不了任何东西 |
| [22:26] | Except he’s not good in math, science, English, or logic. | 只能说明他不擅长 数学、科学、英语和逻辑 |
| [22:29] | Or days of the week. | 也不擅长记住一星期中每天叫什么 |
| [22:30] | I feel like I’m in an alternate universe. | 我感觉此刻我身处于一个平行宇宙 |
| [22:33] | Like I’m in The Twilight Zone | 仿佛身处于“迷离时空” |
| [22:35] | without Rod Serling here to guide me. | 却没有罗德塞林的指引 |
| [22:38] | Look, Mr. Weissman, | 韦斯曼先生 |
| [22:39] | unfortunately, taking this test again now, | 有个坏消息告诉你 在他参加第一次测试后不久 |
| [22:42] | so soon after he took the first one, | 又马上让他来第二次测试 |
| [22:44] | will mean this score will replace | 意味着在他的档案里 |
| [22:46] | his old one on his record. | 这次的分数会取代上次的分数 |
| [22:47] | Grandpa, glitter sticks to your face. | 姥爷 荧光粉沾上脸就擦不掉了! |
| [22:52] | But rest assured, | 不过请放心 |
| [22:54] | he hasn’t lost his spot in the happy group. | 他依然能留在快乐组 |
| [23:04] | Miriam. | 米里亚姆! |
| [23:05] | – Hey, you made it. – Yes, well, we were late. | 你们来啦! 是的 我们晚到了 |
| [23:08] | We wanted to make sure there were actual tickets | 我们想在停车前弄清楚到底有没有票 |
| [23:10] | before we parked the car, so I dropped her off. | 所以我就让她下车了 |
| [23:12] | So I was supposed to come out and wave to him | 我们约好 如果有票 |
| [23:13] | if I had the tickets, and he would park. | 我就向他挥手 然后他就去停车 |
| [23:14] | But it was raining. | 可当时在下雨 |
| [23:16] | So, I go out, if I didn’t see him, I’d go back in. | 我一出来 没看见他 就又进来了 |
| [23:18] | Meanwhile, I drive by, I didn’t see her, | 我开车经过 |
| [23:19] | so I drove around the block. | 没看见她 于是我开车绕了一圈 |
| [23:21] | We kept missing each other. | -我们一直没碰到头 -她出来 |
| [23:22] | She goes out, I’m not there. | 我不在 她就又进来了 |
| [23:23] | she goes in, I drive by, | 我经过时 |
| [23:24] | she’s not there, once more around the block. | 她不在那儿 我开车又绕一圈 |
| [23:26] | Two hours, we did this. | 我们就这么搞了两小时! |
| [23:27] | Finally, I gave up and parked. | 最后我放弃了 停了车 |
| [23:29] | Thank God the tickets were waiting for us | 但是感谢上帝 |
| [23:31] | right where you said they’d be. | 门票就在你说的地方等着我们 |
| [23:33] | – I told you. – Oh, listen, could you point out | 我就说吧 |
| [23:35] | the person that got them for us? We want to thank them. | 你能指一下 是谁帮我们搞到票的吗? |
| [23:37] | Hey, show’s starting, Shirley. | 我们想表达一下谢意 节目要开始了! |
| [23:40] | Wait, here, wait. | 等等!我给丹尼做了三明治 |
| [23:41] | I made Danny a sandwich. Give it to him. | 帮我给他 |
| [23:44] | And we’re back in five, | 广告结束倒计时 |
| [23:46] | four, three… | 五、四、三 |
| [23:55] | And we’re back, folks. | 欢迎回来 |
| [23:57] | Our first guest is the star | 今天第一位嘉宾是广受欢迎的 |
| [23:58] | of the very popular The Danny Stevens Show. | 《丹尼史蒂文斯秀》的主演 |
| [24:00] | He’s a nightclub performer, | 他是一位夜总会表演者、制作人 |
| [24:02] | an award-winning producer, | |
| [24:03] | but the title he thinks describes him the best | 但他认为最能描述他的头衔是 |
| [24:05] | is “America’s sweetheart.” | “美国甜心” |
| [24:07] | Ladies and gentleman, Danny Stevens. | 有请丹尼史蒂文斯 |
| [24:17] | – Hey, there he is. – I left out dancing. | 你好呀 |
| [24:19] | – You did. – I always leave out the dancing. | 我漏说了“舞者” |
| [24:24] | Ah. | 你每次上台都会跳舞 |
| [24:25] | Danny, Danny, Danny. | 丹尼 丹尼 丹尼 |
| [24:27] | Gordy, | Gordy, Gordy. 阿戈 阿戈 阿戈 很高兴你能来我们节目 |
| [24:30] | – It’s great to have you here. – It’s great to be back. | 我很高兴能再来 |
| [24:32] | I love what you’ve done with the place. | 我很喜欢你对这地方做的改动 |
| [24:33] | I’ve done absolutely nothing with the place. | 我做了零改动 |
| [24:35] | Well, it works. | 有效果 |
| [24:37] | “Absolutely nothing” works for you. | “零改动”有效果 |
| [24:38] | You know, I caught your show | 我上个月在科帕看过你的表演 |
| [24:40] | at the Copa last month. It was great. | 很棒 |
| [24:42] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [24:44] | And your show’s still going strong, | 你的表演仍然很精彩 |
| [24:45] | and now I hear you’ve written a book. | 这次我听说你写了一本书 |
| [24:47] | I have. | 是的 |
| [24:49] | Got to get that book. I got to get that book. | 我推荐大家买来看 |
| [24:51] | How was it, writing a book? | 写这书的过程是怎样的? |
| [24:52] | Well, it was very quiet, peaceful. | 我的内心很安宁 很平静 |
| [24:54] | Uh, you don’t need pants, so that’s a plus. | 不需要穿着裤子 这也是一个优点 |
| [24:56] | Just like you. You don’t wear pants. | 就跟你一样 你也不穿裤子 |
| [24:59] | But it’s different writing about your real life. | 但写自己真实的人生又是另一回事 |
| [25:00] | You have to remember things. Names, dates. | 你得回忆起一些事情 |
| [25:03] | Then you have to change the names and dates | 然后又得改姓名 |
| [25:05] | so you don’t get sued. | 以免日后被人起诉 |
| [25:06] | Wow. Are these your parents? | 他们是你的父母吗? |
| [25:09] | Yes, that is Mitta and Joseph. Aw… | 是的 米塔和约瑟夫 |
| [25:12] | And that’s after their number came in. | 这张照片是他们发财之后照的 |
| [25:15] | But, see, my parents were immigrants. | 我父母是移民 |
| [25:17] | Tough. Very tough people. | 他们是非常坚韧的人 |
| [25:18] | They had to be, because life gave them nothing. | 不坚韧也没办法 因为他们一穷二白 |
| [25:21] | They didn’t have a bed, they had a rock. | 他们没有床 |
| [25:23] | They had to flee their village | 只有一块石头 他们被迫逃离自己的村子 |
| [25:25] | when men in boots on horses rode in saying, | 因为某天有些人骑着马进了村 说 |
| [25:27] | “Hey, what’s flammable here?” | “这里有什么东西可以烧的?” |
| [25:29] | That’s terrible. | 太可怕了 |
| [25:30] | They strapped everything they owned onto their backs | 他们把自己有的东西全带上了 |
| [25:32] | and took off through forests and rivers, | 穿过森林 |
| [25:35] | over mountains, all on foot. | 跋山涉水 全程步行 |
| [25:37] | Snowstorms, bear attacks. | 遭遇过暴风雪、熊的袭击 |
| [25:39] | I can’t imagine it. | 那些场面我实在难以想象 |
| [25:40] | If there’s a line at Barney Greengrass, | 我连去餐厅用餐 |
| [25:41] | I have a nervous breakdown. | 看到要排队 |
| [25:43] | Well, if they run out of that good sturgeon… | 都会崩溃 想吃的鲟鱼没有了也会崩溃 |
| [25:45] | Exactly. Finally, my parents | 是啊 |
| [25:47] | get to Ellis Island where they were | 我父母最终到达了埃利斯岛 |
| [25:49] | immediately quarantined for two months. | 在那儿立即被隔离了两个月 |
| [25:50] | Why? | -为什么? -他们病了 |
| [25:51] | They were sick. | -为什么? -他们病了 |
| [25:52] | They had everything. | 得了老多病 |
| [25:54] | Typhoid, pneumonia, malaria. | 伤寒、肺炎、疟疾 |
| [25:56] | They were so sick, the immigration agent | 他们病得很重 |
| [25:58] | changed their name to… | 以至于移民代理人 把他们的名字改成了… |
| [26:02] | I can’t go by that name in show business. | 我不能在演艺界使用那个名字 |
| [26:04] | Too Jewish. | 太犹太风格了 |
| [26:08] | Finally get out, | 最后 |
| [26:09] | move to a tenement on Delancey, | 他们搬进了德兰西的一处公寓 |
| [26:10] | and proceed to have nine children. Ooh. | 然后生了九个孩子 |
| [26:13] | Because, as my mother said, | 我妈说:“就算你买不起电影票 |
| [26:14] | “Even if you can’t afford the movies, | |
| [26:16] | Saturday night is still going to happen. | “周六夜晚依然会降临 |
| [26:18] | You got to do something.” | 人总得做点什么吧” |
| [26:21] | Interesting philosophy. | 这理念很有趣 |
| [26:22] | She was an interesting woman. | 她是个有趣的女人 没给过我们 |
| [26:24] | Not a lot of hugs, but a survivor. | 许多拥抱 但她生命力很强 |
| [26:27] | She worked every day of her life. | 她一生中每天都在工作 |
| [26:29] | When I was in sixth grade, | 我上六年级时 |
| [26:30] | she got a job driving a laundry truck. | 她找到了一份开洗衣车的工作 |
| [26:33] | One day, she was coming home, | 有天她开着车回家 |
| [26:35] | my father was crossing the street, | 我父亲正在过马路 |
| [26:36] | he tripped, fell, and she ran right over him. | 他绊了一跤 跌倒了 |
| [26:40] | Oh, my God. Was he okay? | 而她直接从他身上碾了过去 天啊 他没事吧? |
| [26:41] | Oh, sure. | 当然没事 |
| [26:43] | I mean, he was dead, but other than that… | 只是死了而已 |
| [26:44] | Is that funny? | 没其它问题 这可不好笑 |
| [26:47] | That is the worst story I’ve ever heard. | 这是我听过的最惨的事 |
| [26:48] | Two of her kids died, two others in jail. | 她有两个孩子死了 两个进了监狱 |
| [26:52] | What family she had left was wiped out by the Nazis. | 她遗留在村里的家人全被纳粹杀了 |
| [26:55] | Yet, through all of that, | 然而 |
| [26:57] | all the trials and tribulations, | 经历了所有这些考验和磨难 |
| [26:59] | the only time I ever saw my mother cry | 我只见我母亲哭过一次 |
| [27:01] | was the day I told her I was going to be a comedian. | 就是有天我告诉她 |
| [27:12] | ♪ Someday we’ll go places you… | 我将成为一名喜剧演员 |
| [27:14] | The cigarette machine is broken again. | 售烟机又坏了 |
| [27:15] | It ate my money, so I cried, | 可它吞了我的钱 所以我哭了 |
| [27:18] | and they opened it up, and I took everything. | 他们就把它打开了 我把烟全拿走了 |
| [27:20] | – Remind me to bring you to the bank sometime. – Ah. | 提醒我改天带你一起去银行 |
| [27:22] | There she is. Wonder Woman. | 她在那儿 神奇女侠! |
| [27:26] | Is he talking about me? | 他是说我? |
| [27:26] | I certainly hope so. | 我当然希望是这样 |
| [27:28] | Midge, get over here. | 米琪!过来! |
| [27:30] | Okay, but if this is about someone stealing | 好的 |
| [27:31] | all of Toots’ cigarettes, I know nothing about that. | 但如果你是想 就某人偷香烟的事兴师问罪 |
| [27:33] | You should ask Mel. | 我可不知情 你得去找梅尔 |
| [27:34] | Hey, I heard that. | 喂 我听到你说什么了! |
| [27:36] | You sit right here next to me. | 你在我旁边坐着 |
| [27:38] | – You have to move, Alvin. – Sorry. | 你让开 艾文 |
| [27:39] | She’s not going to sit on your lap. | -抱歉 -她不会坐在你腿上的 |
| [27:41] | I’m moving. I’ve moved. | -我这就让开 让开了 |
| [27:42] | Sorry, Alvin. | -不好意思 艾文 |
| [27:44] | Just find a spot, Alvin. Yup. | -随便找个地儿坐 艾文 -嗯 |
| [27:45] | Any spot. Okay. | -坐哪儿都行 -好的 |
| [27:48] | A wall, a post, | -坐墙上 |
| [27:49] | – a sturdy waitress. – I’m out of the way. | 坐结实的女服务员身上 -我已经让开了 |
| [27:50] | – Hello. | – Hello. -哈喽 -哈喽 |
| [27:51] | Good? Good. I am buying you a drink. | 很好 我请你喝一杯 |
| [27:54] | Oh, I have a drink. | -我已经有喝的了 |
| [27:55] | That is not a proper drink. | -这不算正儿八经的饮料 |
| [27:56] | She will have whatever Shirley Temple drank | 给她来一杯秀兰邓波儿在得知 |
| [27:58] | right after Judy Garland got The Wizard of Oz. | 朱迪加兰得到《绿野仙踪》 主演资格之后喝的酒 |
| [28:02] | Tonight was a triumph. | 今晚的节目非常成功 |
| [28:03] | It went very well. | 进行得很顺利 |
| [28:05] | You, you did this. | 是你的功劳 |
| [28:06] | – No, you did this. – Did what? | -不 是你的功劳 -她做什么了? |
| [28:08] | Gordon, this woman here is like a brave explorer, | 戈登 这位女士就像 一位勇敢的探险家 |
| [28:11] | daring to find what no one has found before. | 敢于发现前人没有发现的东西 |
| [28:13] | A bit that works. | 一个超管用的段子 |
| [28:15] | I think you’re exaggerating. | 你说得太夸张了 |
| [28:17] | You’re Amerigo Vespucci, Sir Walter Raleigh, | 你是亚美利哥韦斯普奇 瓦尔特罗里爵士先生 |
| [28:18] | Amelia Earhart… if she’d made it. | 你是爱米莉亚艾尔哈特 假设当初她成功了的话 |
| [28:22] | I’m sorry, how do you two know each other? | 你们是怎么认识的? |
| [28:24] | We met in the writers’ room. | -我们在编剧室见过面 |
| [28:25] | Writers’ room? My writers’ room? | -我的编剧室? |
| [28:26] | I went in there a broken man | 我走进去时是一个破碎的人 |
| [28:27] | and came out a king. | 出来时俨然成了一个国王 |
| [28:28] | You were in the writers’ room? | -你几时进去的? |
| [28:30] | She said, “Tell your family’s story.” | -她说:“你可以讲你的家庭故事” |
| [28:31] | When were you in the writers’ room? | 她说如果故事有趣 |
| [28:32] | She told me if it’s interesting, you’ll find the funny. | 自然就会有笑点 |
| [28:33] | They barely let me in the writers’ room. | 他们平时都不愿意让我进去 |
| [28:35] | Just doing my job. | 那只是我的工作而已 |
| [28:36] | Yes, your job. | 是的 你的工作 |
| [28:38] | Well, cheers. | 来吧 干杯 |
| [28:42] | Cheers. | 干杯 |
| [28:45] | Listen, I’d like to throw something out there, | 我有一个想法 |
| [28:46] | just a thought. | |
| [28:47] | I have a couple of new projects in the works | 我正在制作几个新项目 |
| [28:49] | that I am producing, and I think you would be perfect. | -我认为你是最佳人选 -什么的最佳人选? |
| [28:52] | – For what? – Do you know Loretta Young? | -你认识洛丽泰杨吗? -只在教堂那儿听说过 |
| [28:53] | Only from temple. | -你认识洛丽泰杨吗? -只在教堂那儿听说过 |
| [28:54] | I’m developing a situation comedy for her. | 我正在为她制作一部喜剧 |
| [28:57] | Is Loretta Young funny? | 洛丽泰杨很逗吗? |
| [28:58] | With the right material, | 有合适的材料 |
| [28:59] | she will be. Gene Tierney also wants to do TV. | 她就能很逗 吉恩蒂尔尼也想演电视剧 |
| [29:02] | You know Gene Tierney? | -你认识吉恩蒂尔尼吗? |
| [29:03] | – Sure I do. – These are big stars. | -当然认识 |
| [29:05] | They do a show, people will watch. | 这些都是大明星 观众会爱看的 |
| [29:06] | I was wondering… | 我想知道你是否愿意来为我工作 |
| [29:08] | if you would like to come work for me. | |
| [29:10] | What? – You can pick your job. | -什么? |
| [29:12] | Whatever show you want, you choose. | -什么? 你想参与创作哪部剧随你选 |
| [29:13] | Oh, I am not a script writer. | -我不是写剧本的 |
| [29:14] | She’s a joke writer. | -她是写段子的 |
| [29:16] | – Very different. – Night and day. | -差别可大了 -是天壤之别 |
| [29:17] | If it’s interesting, you can find the funny. | “有趣 |
| [29:19] | Who said that? | 自然就有笑点” 这是谁说的? |
| [29:20] | I was talking about you. | 我那是说你的 |
| [29:22] | No, you were talking about story. Character. | 不 |
| [29:24] | That is script writing. Also, you’re a woman. | 你那是说故事、人物 |
| [29:26] | These are shows starring women. | 写剧本不就是这样吗? 并且你是女性 |
| [29:28] | Who better to write for them? | 这些主演也是女星 谁比你更适合为她们写剧? |
| [29:29] | Danny, what are you doing? | 丹尼 你在做什么? |
| [29:31] | I’m offering her a job. | -我想给她一个工作机会 |
| [29:33] | She already has a job. | -她有工作了 |
| [29:34] | And now she has a better one. | 我这份工作比她现有的好 |
| [29:35] | This is a good job. She makes good money here. | 她为我工作赚到的钱很多 |
| [29:37] | She’ll make better money with me. | -她为我工作赚到的钱会更多 |
| [29:39] | Oh, really? How do you know? | -你怎么知道? |
| [29:40] | Because I’ll ask her how much she makes here, | 我会问她现在能赚多少 |
| [29:41] | and then I’ll give her more. | 然后给她开更高的薪水 |
| [29:42] | You’re poaching my writers from me? Seriously? | 你要从我这里挖编剧? |
| [29:44] | Only this one. You can keep the rest. | 我只要这个编剧 剩下的你可以自己留着 |
| [29:46] | – Sorry, Alvin. – No problem. | 抱歉 艾文 |
| [29:48] | No, no, no, no. No, no. I found her. | -没关系 -不 是我找到的她 |
| [29:49] | So, what, finders keepers? | -那又怎样?谁找到的就归谁所有? |
| [29:51] | – Okay, boys… – This town is filled with great writers. | -好了 伙计们 |
| [29:53] | Why are you doing this? | 这儿好编剧多得是 你为什么偏要挖我的? |
| [29:54] | This isn’t personal, Gordon. | -这无关私人感情 -是吗? |
| [29:56] | It’s not? You put your drinks on my tab. | 你把你的酒水钱记在了我的账上! |
| [29:58] | Well, fine, I’ll pay for my drinks. | 那行吧 我自己付钱就是了 |
| [29:59] | Look, there are rules. | -做事要讲规则! -什么规则? |
| [30:01] | What rules? | 社会规则 |
| [30:02] | Just… rules of society. | 社会规则 |
| [30:04] | Oh, please, fuck that. I see talent, I go after it. | 少来这套 我看到了有才华的人 当然要去争取 |
| [30:06] | Talent? | 才华?你想要的才不是她的才华 |
| [30:08] | I don’t think it’s her talent you want. | |
| [30:09] | – Gordon. – What does that mean? | -戈登 -这话是什么意思? |
| [30:10] | Oh, you know what that means. | 你懂的 |
| [30:12] | I’m married, schmucko. | 我已经结婚了 傻子! |
| [30:13] | And I don’t care who the fuck’s writing for her, | 我不在乎谁会给洛丽泰杨写剧 |
| [30:15] | Loretta Young is not now and never will be funny, | 反正这人永远逗不起来! |
| [30:18] | and only an idiot would think so. | 只有白痴才会这么认为 |
| [30:19] | Should we compare bank accounts? | 我们要不要比一比 谁的银行账户钱多? |
| [30:21] | That’s it. Get up. | 够了 站起来! |
| [30:23] | Are you kidding me? I was a boxer in the Army. | 你是认真的吗? 我可在军队里当过拳击手 |
| [30:25] | You were a boxer in a movie about the Army. | 你是在一部讲军队的电影里 当过拳击手! |
| [30:28] | At least I’m from Brooklyn. | 至少我是布鲁克林人! |
| [30:29] | You’re Canadian. | 你是加拿大人! |
| [30:30] | We moved there when I was five. | 我五岁时我家才搬去加拿大! |
| [30:32] | Hey, guys. People are watching. | 伙计们!别人在看呢 |
| [30:34] | Hey, what’s going on here? | 怎么回事?戈登? |
| [30:35] | Gordon, you starting shit again? | 你又要搞事了是不是? |
| [30:38] | I’ll throw you right out of here. | 信不信我把你扔出去? |
| [30:40] | Do it, Toots. | 你扔啊!上次你跟我打 |
| [30:41] | Last time, you threw your back out for a month. | 背都受伤了一个月! |
| [30:43] | That was a pre-existing condition, you son of a bitch. | 那次跟你打之前 我的背早就受伤了 蠢货! |
| [30:45] | All right. | 好吧! 哥伦比亚大学 1954年 |
| [30:52] | It’s back here somewhere. | 它就放在这儿的 |
| [30:54] | Wait. | 你等等 |
| [30:55] | Ah! Got it. | 找到了 |
| [30:59] | You can’t be too careful. | 得好好藏着才行 |
| [31:00] | Herman from Icelandic studies | 搞冰岛研究的赫尔曼一公里外 |
| [31:02] | can sniff out a good brandy a mile away. | 都能闻出优质白兰地的气味 |
| [31:05] | Here we go. | 好了 |
| [31:11] | We toast to your wedding | 我们为你的婚礼和你的妻子干杯 |
| [31:13] | and to your wife. | |
| [31:16] | – To | – To Miriam. |
| [31:20] | Mmm. | Miriam. -敬米里亚姆 -敬米里亚姆 |
| [31:21] | Now, Joel, | 乔尔 |
| [31:23] | I asked you to meet me here today | 我请你今天来这里见我 |
| [31:25] | because I have something very important to discuss with you. | 是因为我有很重要的事要和你商量 |
| [31:28] | Okay. | |
| [31:30] | My daughter is going to want children. | -好的 -我女儿想要生孩子 |
| [31:32] | Yes. Three before 30. | -是的 |
| [31:34] | What? | 30岁前生三个 -什么? |
| [31:35] | It’s just what she says. | 是她说的 |
| [31:37] | Three before 30. | 30岁前生三个 |
| [31:38] | Three kids before she’s 30, so she’ll spring back. | 如果在30岁前生三个 她的身材就能复原 |
| [31:40] | I’d like to just go past that, if you don’t mind. | -这种事我就不跟你谈了 |
| [31:43] | – Fine with me. – As I was saying, | -好的 |
| [31:45] | you will have three children, | 我刚说了 你会有三个孩子 |
| [31:47] | and, in all probability, one will be a boy. | 很可能其中一个会是男孩 |
| [31:50] | Hey, we’ll name him Joel Jr. | 是啊 我们会给他起名叫“小乔尔” |
| [31:52] | You won’t. | 不行 |
| [31:54] | Now, you need to know | 我要告诉你 |
| [31:55] | there are certain gifts | 在韦斯曼家族中 |
| [31:57] | that are inevitably passed on | 有些天赋会不可避免地 |
| [31:59] | to the first-born male | |
| [32:01] | of each Weissman branch of the family. | 遗传给每个小家庭中的长子 |
| [32:04] | Gifts? Like an inheritance? | 礼物?你是说遗产? |
| [32:05] | Weissman boys are born with immense intellect. | 韦斯曼家族的男孩个个天生高智商 |
| [32:09] | So great it will stagger your mind. | 高到会让你大吃一惊 |
| [32:12] | It will happen slowly. | 这种智商会慢慢发展 |
| [32:14] | You won’t notice it at first, | 起初你都不会留意到 |
| [32:15] | but then, by the age of six, | 等男孩长到六岁 |
| [32:18] | it will kick in. Quite suddenly. | 才会展现出高智商 -是非常突然地展现 |
| [32:20] | – Six. – You should’ve seen me when I was five. | -六岁 你是没见过我五岁时的样子 |
| [32:23] | Just a slow-witted embarrassment | 那时在我们整个家族看来 |
| [32:25] | to my entire family, | 我智力迟钝 令家族蒙羞 |
| [32:27] | and then I turned six. | 可等我满了六岁 |
| [32:29] | The rest is history. | 奇迹发生了 后续的事情不用我说了 |
| [32:31] | Now, this is a record | 这个本子记载了韦斯曼家族 |
| [32:34] | of every generation | |
| [32:36] | of first-born Weissman men and their accomplishments. | 每一代长子的信息及其成就 |
| [32:39] | And prepare yourself. | 做好心理准备 |
| [32:42] | It’s a barn-burner. | 这个本子你一看就会看入迷 |
| [32:43] | We’ve got doctors, lawyers, | 我们家族出过医生、律师、科学家 |
| [32:46] | scientists, kings, | 国王 |
| [32:48] | at least one oboist, five writers, | 至少一位双簧管演奏家 |
| [32:50] | an archaeologist, one very creative murderer… | 五位作家、一位考古学家 一位很有创意的杀人犯 |
| [32:53] | Wait, my first-born won’t be a Weissman. | 可我的长子又不姓韦斯曼 |
| [32:55] | – What? – He’ll be a Maisel. | -什么? |
| [32:56] | – I’m a Maisel. – Doesn’t matter. | -他会姓梅赛尔 因为我姓梅赛尔 |
| [32:58] | Miriam’s a Weissman. | 没关系 米里亚姆是韦斯曼家族的人 |
| [33:00] | Her genes will overwhelm your genes. | 她的基因会压倒你的基因 |
| [33:02] | Your first-born son | 你的长子会是个天才 |
| [33:04] | is going to be a genius, and you are going to have to deal with it. | 你得有心理准备 |
| [33:08] | I promise he will have the best education possible. | 我保证会尽我所能 让他接受最好的教育… |
| [33:11] | Oh, schools don’t matter. | 念什么学校无所谓 |
| [33:12] | What matters is a total lack of input | 重要的是 在他六岁前 |
| [33:15] | from you to the child before he turns six. | 你不要对他有任何输出 |
| [33:19] | What? | 什么意思? 基本就是 |
| [33:21] | Basically, ignore him till he addresses you first. | 不要理他 等他先来找你说话 |
| [33:24] | I can’t talk to my own kid? | 我不能和我自己的孩子说话? |
| [33:25] | Of course you can. | 当然可以 |
| [33:27] | Once he turns six. | 但要等到他满六岁 |
| [33:29] | Before that, zip it. | 在那之前 你要把你的嘴缝上 |
| [33:31] | How do I communicate with him? | -那我怎么跟他沟通? |
| [33:32] | Miriam can do it. | -让米里亚姆跟他沟通 |
| [33:34] | Or, if it’s really important, you can leave a note. | 如果真有要紧事 你可以写纸条 |
| [33:37] | Abe, this sounds crazy. | 安比 你的提议太不可思议了 |
| [33:40] | Trust me, we did not get a book like this | 相信我 |
| [33:43] | by talking to our sons. | 我们家族的男性有如此成就 靠的可不是跟自己的儿子说话 |
| [33:45] | – Wait… – I completely ignored Noah | 诺亚出生后五年内我完全没理他 |
| [33:48] | for five years. | |
| [33:49] | The morning of his sixth birthday, | 六岁生日那天早上 |
| [33:51] | he picked up a violin, | 他突然就拿起了一把小提琴 |
| [33:52] | he was playing Mozart in two weeks. | 两周后他就能演奏莫扎特了 |
| [33:54] | I’ve never heard Noah play the violin. | 我从没见过诺亚拉小提琴 |
| [33:56] | He doesn’t need to, | 他已经不需要拉了 |
| [33:57] | he’s already done it. Understand? | 因为他曾经做到过 懂了吗? |
| [33:59] | – Not at all. – Good. | -完全不懂 |
| [34:00] | So, we have a plan. | -很好 总之我们已经计划好了 |
| [34:02] | Welcome to the family, Joel. | 欢迎加入我们家族 乔尔 |
| [34:04] | Now, drink up before Herman sniffs us out. | 来吧 趁赫尔曼还没闻出来 我们把酒喝光 |
| [34:10] | We were going to start in the fall, | 但之后我梦到一个雪人 |
| [34:12] | but then I had a dream that a snowman was trying to stab me with his carrot. | 试图用胡萝卜刺我 |
| [34:15] | Quite a shock. | 真是令人震惊 |
| [34:16] | Papa, come sit down. | 爸爸!过来坐! |
| [34:18] | Having another baby. | 又怀了一个呀 |
| [34:20] | It’s so exciting. | -真令人高兴 |
| [34:21] | Isn’t it? | -是吧? |
| [34:22] | Trying to have another baby. Trying. | 还没怀上 正在努力 |
| [34:24] | I can’t believe bathroom appliances come in | 我真不敢相信浴室电器 |
| [34:26] | so many pretty colors now. | 有这么多颜色可选 |
| [34:27] | Our lives are, once again, nothing but | 我们的生活再次变成 |
| [34:29] | doctors and daily shots and dirty magazines. | 每天跟医生打交道、每天打针 看脏杂志… |
| [34:33] | What about dirty magazines? | 看脏杂志干什么? |
| [34:35] | Nothing, Mama. | 没什么 妈妈 |
| [34:37] | I’m just saying it’s stressful and expensive. | 我只是说我压力大 而且这事费用很贵 |
| [34:38] | And hopefully a girl. | -希望是个女孩 |
| [34:40] | It will be worth it. | -这事值得 |
| [34:41] | I naively thought, second kid, | 我天真地以为 |
| [34:43] | surely there’s some sort of discount, | 怀第二个孩子肯定有折扣 |
| [34:45] | like maybe they could reuse a test tube or something. | 比如他们或许可以重复使用 试管之类的东西 |
| [34:49] | You do not want a doctor that reuses a test tube. | 重复使用试管的医生不值得信任 |
| [34:51] | I’m okay with three to five previously used test tubes. | 我能接受重复使用 三到五个以前用过的试管 |
| [34:55] | Astrid, are you hearing this? | 你听见了吗? |
| [34:56] | No, I haven’t heard anything he’s said | 过去两个月他说啥我都没注意听 |
| [34:57] | for the last two months. What color are you going to get? | 你要买什么颜色的? |
| [34:59] | I think a pink toilet would be amazing. | 粉红色的马桶应该会很棒 |
| [35:01] | – What’s wrong with your toilet? – Nothing. | -你的马桶怎么了? -没怎么 |
| [35:03] | Well, then, why would you get a new toilet? | -那干吗要买新马桶? |
| [35:04] | Because I have to get a new bathtub. | -因为我得买个浴缸 |
| [35:06] | – So? – They won’t match. | -所以呢? -跟原来的马桶颜色不匹配 |
| [35:07] | Does that matter? | 这要紧吗? |
| [35:09] | Can you pass the lox? | 能把熏鲑鱼递给我吗? |
| [35:12] | Why didn’t you ever mention Ethan’s aptitude test? | 为什么你从没提过 伊森的天赋测试的事? |
| [35:15] | His what? | 他的什么? |
| [35:16] | His aptitude test. | 天赋测试 |
| [35:18] | They give every child in his school an aptitude test | 学校每年初都会测试一次 |
| [35:21] | at the beginning of the year. | 每个孩子的天赋 |
| [35:22] | – Oh, how’d he do? – He failed. | -他的成绩怎样? -他没及格 |
| [35:25] | They say he has the potential for nothing but happiness. | 老师说他除了擅长快乐之外 |
| [35:29] | Is that bad? | 别无所长 这不好吗? |
| [35:31] | Ethan is a first-born Weissman male. | 伊森是咱们韦斯曼家 第一个出生的男孩 |
| [35:33] | A first-born Weissman male is expected to excel. | 韦斯曼家的每个长子 理应都是出类拔萃 |
| [35:36] | They are not expected to be happy. | 而不是快快乐乐 |
| [35:38] | I’m sorry, just because he’s happy | 他快乐并不说明 |
| [35:40] | doesn’t mean he won’t excel. | 他不会出类拔萃 |
| [35:41] | Of course it does. | 当然能说明 |
| [35:43] | Not one person who has ever | 没有一个人生中 |
| [35:44] | accomplished anything of worth in life | 有所成就的人是快乐的 |
| [35:46] | has ever been happy. | |
| [35:48] | That can’t be true. Name me one | 这绝对是错的 |
| [35:50] | cheerful man of science. | 那你说说 有哪个科学家是快快乐乐的? |
| [35:52] | One sunny artist of worth. | 有哪个知名艺术家很阳光? |
| [35:54] | One giddy Founding Father. | 有哪个开国元勋成天喜气洋洋? |
| [35:57] | Benjamin Franklin. Didn’t he get laid a lot? | 本杰明富兰克林! 他不是经常跟人上床吗? |
| [35:59] | – Miriam, in front of the baby? – Yes, he did, | -别在婴儿面前讲这种话 -富兰克林确实是这样 |
| [36:01] | but given all his great accomplishments, | 但鉴于他取得了那么多成就 |
| [36:03] | I guarantee you, he didn’t enjoy it. | 我向你保证 他并不享受那种事! |
| [36:05] | Why are you getting so upset? | 你为什么这么生气? |
| [36:07] | Your son | 你儿子没有通过天赋测试 |
| [36:09] | flunked his aptitude test. | |
| [36:12] | I saw the score. He basically | 我看了他的得分 |
| [36:15] | has no aptitude. | 他基本上没有天赋 |
| [36:17] | It seemed like, half the time, he was trying to write | 我看见他竟然试图 |
| [36:19] | with the eraser side of the pencil. | 用铅笔的橡皮一端写字 |
| [36:21] | – He’s just a little boy. – A little boy | 他还只是个小男孩 |
| [36:23] | who marches in a circle all day, | 一个整天绕着圈子走的小男孩 |
| [36:26] | oblivious to what the future holds. | 对未来的事毫无知觉 |
| [36:28] | And the only thing his mother seems to care about | 而他妈妈唯一关心的似乎只是 |
| [36:31] | is a ridiculous pink toilet. | 一个可笑的粉红色马桶 |
| [36:34] | What’s wrong with a pink toilet? | -粉红色有什么问题? |
| [36:35] | A toilet is not supposed to be pink. | -马桶不应该是粉红色的 |
| [36:37] | Why not? – Because a toilet is supposed to be white. | -为什么? -马桶就该是白色的 |
| [36:39] | A pink toilet is still a toilet, except it’s fun. | 粉红色马桶仍然是马桶 而且还很有趣 |
| [36:42] | Not everything is supposed to be fun. | 不是所有事物都应该有趣 |
| [36:46] | Not everything needs to make you smile. | 不是所有事物 都非得让你高兴才行 |
| [36:49] | Sometimes you just have | 有时马桶只是拿来用的 |
| [36:51] | to use a toilet. | |
| [36:53] | They call and you come running. | 他们一打电话 你就跑着过来 |
| [36:56] | Like a well-trained Spaniel. | 像一只训练有素的猎犬 |
| [36:57] | Stop it, Janusz. | 闭嘴 亚努西 |
| [36:58] | We should get you a leash and a chew toy. | 看来我得给你买条皮带 和一个玩具骨头 |
| [37:01] | Shut it! | 闭嘴! |
| [37:02] | That is a linen closet. | 那是一个亚麻壁橱! |
| [37:04] | The linen closet is where you keep the tablecloths. | 亚麻壁橱是存放桌布的地方 |
| [37:07] | And the sheets, and the pillowcases, | 还有床单 还有枕套 |
| [37:09] | and it’s all in the book I made you, | 全都在厨房那本书里写着呢 |
| [37:10] | that sits untouched in the kitchen. | 你们压根没看! |
| [37:12] | Zelda, did you by any chance… | 泽尔达 你有没有… |
| [37:13] | Yes, I brought the baby-making herbs. | 有!助孕草药给你带来了 |
| [37:16] | – Oh! – I will now go into the kitchen | 我现在就去厨房帮你煮茶 |
| [37:17] | and I will cook you your tea so you can give Chaim a sister. | 让你能给哈伊姆生个妹妹 |
| [37:20] | Thank you. And once I’m done, | 这个弄完之后 |
| [37:21] | we are going home to call the phone company | 我们就会给电话公司打电话 |
| [37:24] | to come take our phone. We don’t want it anymore! | 叫他们把我们的电话拆走 我们不想再接到任何电话! |
| [37:29] | This is why they always want to kill the fancy folks. | 正因如此 人们才总想 杀掉那些上流社会的人 |
| [37:32] | I like her new uniform. | 我喜欢她的新制服 对吧? |
| [37:33] | Hello? I’m here. Hello, Joel. | 哈喽 我来了! 哈喽 乔尔 |
| [37:36] | Sorry I’m a little late. I had to wait for a delivery. | 抱歉 我来晚了 有货得收 |
| [37:38] | What did you do to your son? | 你对你儿子做了什么? |
| [37:41] | What are you talking about? | 什么? |
| [37:42] | Have you been talking to him? | 你是不是一直都在跟他说话? |
| [37:45] | Papa, you’re acting crazy. | 爸爸 你这样太吓人了 |
| [37:47] | I assure you, this is not an act. | 我向你保证 我是真火了!快说! |
| [37:49] | – Tell me. – Of course I’ve been talking to him. | 我当然一直在跟他说话啊 |
| [37:51] | You’ve seen me talk to him. He’s my son. | 他是我儿子 |
| [37:53] | I told you specifically | 我特意跟你说过 |
| [37:55] | the less said to him before the age of six, | 在他六岁前 |
| [37:58] | – the better, did I not? – You were serious? | -你越少跟他说话越好 -你是认真的? |
| [37:59] | Of course I was serious. Why wouldn’t I be serious? | 当然是认真的 怎么会觉得我是随便一说? |
| [38:02] | Because that’s nuts. | 因为那样太疯了! |
| [38:03] | I told you about the bloodlines. | 我跟你说过血统的事 |
| [38:05] | – The Weissman gift. – Abe, that’s all bullshit. | 韦斯曼家族的天赋 |
| [38:07] | There’s no magic gift. | 那都是胡扯 这世上没有神奇的天赋 |
| [38:09] | Oh, no, Joel, there is absolutely a Weissman gift. | 不 乔尔 韦斯曼家族 绝对有代代相传的天赋 |
| [38:11] | Did you see the Weissman first-born male book? | 你看过韦斯曼家族长子书吗? |
| [38:13] | Oh, wait. Was that the book Zelda was talking about? | 等等 泽尔达刚才说的 是不是就是这本书? |
| [38:16] | Why would Zelda talk about the Weissman first-born male book? | 她干吗要提那本书? |
| [38:19] | I don’t know, she just keeps going on and on about a book. | 不知道 反正她一直都在提一本书 |
| [38:21] | There is nothing wrong with Ethan. | 伊森没有任何毛病 |
| [38:23] | Have you seen his group? | -你见过他所属的小组吗? |
| [38:25] | What group? | -什么小组? |
| [38:26] | He is apparently in a happy group in school. | 据说他在学校被分进了快乐组 |
| [38:28] | What’s wrong with that? | 这有什么问题? |
| [38:29] | I can’t believe it. He’s ruined the bloodline. | 我简直不敢相信 他毁了血统 |
| [38:32] | – Oh, no. Really? – We don’t know that. | -不是吧 真的吗? -这可不好说 |
| [38:34] | Well, what’s the explanation, then, Rose? | 那你怎么解释 |
| [38:36] | What explains Ethan’s happiness? | 罗斯? 怎么解释伊森为什么那么快乐? |
| [38:38] | Maybe he’s a late bloomer. | 也许他大器晚成 |
| [38:40] | – Maybe he’ll get miserable later. – Six is the age. | 以后就会痛苦了 六岁就是显现高智商的年龄 |
| [38:42] | But Pop, I thought there were a few Weissman first-born males | 可咱们家族不是有几个长子 |
| [38:45] | that didn’t kick in until seven. | 到七岁才展现天赋吗? |
| [38:46] | Remember? That, uh, really distant cousin | 还记得那个为X光机的发明 |
| [38:49] | who helped pave the way for the X-ray machine? | 做出贡献的远房亲戚吗? |
| [38:51] | Well, yes, but there were extenuating circumstances. | 没错 可那些例子都是情有可原 |
| [38:54] | You had the Franco-Prussian War going on. | 比如遭遇了普法战争 |
| [38:56] | But it kicked in eventually, right? | 可他们最终都还是 |
| [38:57] | Well, I hope so. | 展现了天赋 |
| [38:59] | I was so counting on Chaim being smart. | 对吧? 我还指望着哈伊姆会很聪明呢 |
| [39:00] | – He will be, honey. – But what if he’s not? | 他会的 |
| [39:02] | Oh, God, Noah, what if he’s dumb | 但要是不会咋办?要是他很蠢 |
| [39:04] | and we have to spend our lives pretending he’s smart | 我们一辈子都得装作 |
| [39:05] | like the Kirchner’s down the street? | 他很聪明的样子 咋办? |
| [39:07] | The chain has not been broken. | 咱家的血统没有断 |
| [39:09] | What if our daughter is stupid, too, | 要是我们女儿也笨 |
| [39:10] | and then we have two dummies just running around the house? | 家里有两个笨孩子跑来跑去咋办? |
| [39:12] | Well, at least they can be friends with Ethan. | 那至少他们可以和伊森当朋友 |
| [39:15] | – Hey. – Yeah. | -喂! -就是! |
| [39:16] | Can everyone stop talking about how stupid my kid is? | 别再说我的孩子笨了! |
| [39:18] | This is an old wives’ tale. | 你们这是迷信 |
| [39:21] | Ethan, get your sister and let’s go. | 伊森!叫上妹妹 我们走 |
| [39:24] | Now, this is the last time I want to hear anybody | 以后再也不许说 我儿子快乐有什么不好 |
| [39:26] | say anything bad about my son’s happiness. Am I clear? | 这是最后一次了 听懂了吗? |
| [39:29] | Say, “Goodbye.” | -跟大家说再见 |
| [39:31] | Goodbye. | -再见 |
| [39:32] | Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. | 再见 |
| [39:38] | Bye, bye, bye, bye. ♪ Well, all right, okay… I love twins. | 我好喜欢双胞胎 |
| [39:46] | You are not supposed to tell us what you have. | 你有什么牌不能说出来 |
| [39:48] | – I don’t know. I don’t know. – I didn’t tell you what I had. | 有这规矩吗? |
| [39:51] | “I love twins” means you have a pair. | -我没说我有什么牌 -“我好喜欢双胞胎”说明你有一对 |
| [39:53] | No, it means I love two things | 不对 |
| [39:54] | that are identical to each other. | 说明我喜欢两个相同的东西 |
| [39:56] | Like douchebags and you. | 比如混蛋和你 |
| [39:57] | Okay, I’m out, while I can still send | 我不跟了 |
| [39:58] | at least one kid to college. | 再跟我连一个孩子的 大学学费都会出不起 |
| [40:00] | I’m in. It’s just money, Pete. | 我跟 不就是输钱吗 皮特? |
| [40:02] | Says the youngest executive in talk show history. | 你是脱口秀史上最年轻的高管 当然说得起这话 |
| [40:04] | Not the youngest. One of the youngest. | 不是最年轻的 只是最年轻的其中之一 |
| [40:06] | – Call. | – Call. -我跟 -我跟 |
| [40:07] | And to think when I first met you, | 回想我刚认识你时 |
| [40:09] | you were George Toledano’s bitch. | 你还是个 被乔治托莱达诺随便使唤的属下 |
| [40:11] | It said so on my door and everything. | 千真万确 |
| [40:13] | Admit it, I’ve been good luck for you, Mike. | 我一直是你的幸运星 迈克 |
| [40:15] | You, not so much. | 我没怎么给你带来过好运 |
| [40:16] | – Stop focusing on me. – Sorry. | 别把焦点转到我身上 |
| [40:18] | It’s just that vampires with expense accounts | 抱歉 |
| [40:20] | are a real turn-on for me. | 谁叫有钱的吸血鬼对我来说 格外有吸引力呢?十 |
| [40:22] | Ten. I’ll call. | -我跟 -我也跟 |
| [40:23] | Me, too. | -我跟 -我也跟 |
| [40:24] | I’m out. | 我不跟了 |
| [40:25] | All right, final card, people. | 好吧 最后一张牌了 各位 |
| [40:28] | These are some great sandwiches over here. | -这些三明治不错 |
| [40:29] | – What kind? – This has bread, meat, | -要哪种? |
| [40:32] | cheese, tomato… | 这个里面有面包、肉 奶酪、西红柿… |
| [40:33] | So, basically, a sandwich. It’s a sandwich. | 基本上就是个三明治嘛! |
| [40:35] | What’s the move, Susie? | 你要怎么样 |
| [40:40] | Ten. | 苏西? |
| [40:41] | – I’m out. – Raise you ten. | -十 -我不跟了 我加十 |
| [40:43] | I raise your raise. | 我再加 |
| [40:44] | Are you raising my raise | 你是不是就为了再加而再加? |
| [40:45] | just to raise my raise? Yes. | |
| [40:47] | That’s not how you play. Mike. | -是的 -牌不是这么玩的 迈克! |
| [40:48] | What do you think he’s going to do? | -你觉得他会做什么? |
| [40:50] | Fine. Call. | -行吧 我跟 |
| [40:52] | Pair of kings. | 一对K |
| [40:54] | Hmm. Pair of threes. | 一对三 |
| [40:57] | Oh, and another three. | 还有一张三呢 |
| [40:59] | Fuck you. | 去你的!我要吃三明治! |
| [41:00] | I’m getting a sandwich. | |
| [41:01] | They are delicious. This one has mustard. | 很好吃的 这个有芥末 |
| [41:03] | Everybody, take a break. | -大家休息一下吧 |
| [41:05] | – Stretch your legs. – Sounds good to me. | -可以啊 |
| [41:07] | – Walk with me. – Sure. | 跟我出来一下 行 |
| [41:10] | I didn’t know you had bad blood with Ken. | -我不知道你和肯不和 |
| [41:11] | No bad blood, just hope to hora on his grave. | -没 我只想等他死了在他坟前蹦迪 |
| [41:14] | Why? | 为什么? |
| [41:16] | He’s Shy Baldwin’s agent. | 他是夏尔鲍德温的经纪人 |
| [41:19] | What do you think of Pete? | 皮特呢? |
| [41:20] | He is not Shy Baldwin’s agent. | 他不是夏尔鲍德温的经纪人 |
| [41:23] | Pete books Jack Paar. | 皮特是杰克帕尔的嘉宾邀约员 |
| [41:25] | All you talent bookers hang out together? | 为啥你们嘉宾邀约员会玩在一起? |
| [41:27] | – You don’t have any friends? – No. | -你们都没朋友吗? -没有 |
| [41:28] | Listen, Paar wants new voices. | 听着 帕尔想寻找新面孔 |
| [41:31] | His show’s number two, he’s hungry. | 他的节目排名第二 他现在求贤若渴 |
| [41:33] | Pete’s putting together a showcase, | 皮特正在组织一场展示会 |
| [41:35] | 12 top up-and-comers, ten minutes. | 拟定了12位后起之秀 每人十分钟 |
| [41:38] | Midge is in. | -米琪在其中 |
| [41:39] | – What? – I talked to him. | -什么? |
| [41:41] | He’s really excited to see her. | 皮特非常期待见到她 |
| [41:42] | You talked to him about Midge? | 你跟他谈过米琪? |
| [41:44] | She’s the only woman in the showcase. | 她是其中唯一的女性 |
| [41:45] | I got him to give her a late slot. | 我让他给她安排一个晚点的时段 |
| [41:47] | She’s gonna shine. | 她会震撼全场的 |
| [41:48] | What’s going on? | 这是怎么回事? |
| [41:49] | What? I thought you’d be happy. | 什么?我还以为你听到会高兴呢 |
| [41:51] | Well, what about Gordon’s show? | -戈登的节目怎么办? |
| [41:53] | You know the rule… | -你不知道那条规矩吗? |
| [41:55] | That was George’s rule. George is gone. | 那是乔治的规矩 现在他已经不在了 |
| [41:57] | It’s not just George’s rule. It’s also Gordon’s. | 那也是戈登的规矩 |
| [41:59] | But you’re there now. Get him to change the rule. | -那你想办法让他把规矩改了呀 |
| [42:00] | I’ve been there all of five minutes. | -我上任才多久? |
| [42:02] | I can’t do anything till he totally trusts me. | 在取得他的信任之前 |
| [42:04] | How long do you want to wait? | 我无计可施 你能等多久? |
| [42:05] | Shit. We were counting on Gordon. | 我们一直指望着戈登呢 |
| [42:07] | So count on Paar. | 指望帕尔吧 |
| [42:08] | Come on. This is a gift. | 拜托 这可是大好机会 |
| [42:12] | Okay. | -好吧 |
| [42:14] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [42:15] | Yeah. | -不用 |
| [42:16] | Hey, guys, I think Ken is in the bathroom crying. | 各位 肯好像在卫生间里哭 |
| [42:20] | Seriously, thank you for this. | 说真的 谢谢你的帮忙 |
| [42:22] | Of course. | 不用 |
| [42:23] | I hope Midge kills. | 但愿米琪能折服全场 |
| [42:25] | What? Oh, yeah. Thanks for that, too. | 什么?哦 |
| [42:29] | Pss, pss, pss, pss. | 谢谢你的祝福 |
| [42:30] | Are you sure that’s a good idea? | 你确定这是个好主意? |
| [42:33] | I don’t think… | |
| [42:33] | What’s in the ceiling now? | 天花板上这次又有什么? |
| [42:35] | We think it’s a cat. | -我们觉得是一只猫 |
| [42:36] | – You think? – Well, it’s fast. | -是吗? 它逃得很快 |
| [42:38] | And it’s got a tail. | 它有一条尾巴 |
| [42:40] | Hey, you. Get out here. I want to talk. | 喂 出来一下 有事找你 |
| [42:42] | Sure. We can talk in here. | 可以就在这里谈 |
| [42:43] | Nope. Too much vag. Let’s go. | 不行 太多女人了 出来吧 |
| [42:46] | Great. Sit. | 坐吧 |
| [42:47] | I didn’t know you were coming tonight. | 我不知道你会来 |
| [42:49] | How long till you go on? | -你还要多久上台? |
| [42:50] | I got a couple minutes. | -几分钟 |
| [42:51] | And I have some very exciting news. | 那我有个振奋人心的消息要告诉你 |
| [42:53] | I love very exciting news. | 我超爱振奋人心的消息 |
| [42:54] | It is not going to happen with Gordon Ford. | 你在戈登福特那儿永远没戏 |
| [42:56] | That’s exciting news? | 这是振奋人心的消息? |
| [42:58] | – Miriam… – Woo-hoo, it’s my lucky day. | -米里亚姆… -今天真是我的幸运日啊! |
| [43:00] | Stop it, that isn’t the exciting news. | 听我说 这不是我要跟你说的消息 |
| [43:01] | The exciting news is that | 我要说的是 |
| [43:02] | I got you a showcase for Jack Paar. | 我给你弄到了一个 在杰克帕尔那儿展示才艺的机会 |
| [43:05] | – A showcase? – No. | 展示才艺? |
| [43:07] | Do not sigh. This is different. | 别叹气 这不是普通的才艺展示 |
| [43:09] | This is invitation only. No cattle call. | 只有受邀的人才有机会 |
| [43:11] | It’s very selective. | 不是海选 受邀的人也都是精挑细选过的 |
| [43:12] | And Paar is going to be there. | 到时帕尔也会在场 |
| [43:14] | This is real, this is big. | 这可是动真格的 很隆重 |
| [43:16] | Jack Paar. | 杰克帕尔? |
| [43:17] | I talked to the booker, Pete, | 我今晚打扑克之后 |
| [43:19] | after the poker game tonight. | 跟他的邀约员皮特谈过 |
| [43:20] | Did you win? | 你赢了吗? |
| [43:21] | Eh, I left with everything | 他们的全副身家都被我赢了个精光 |
| [43:22] | but their dicks in my pocket. | 只剩鸡巴还在 |
| [43:25] | Anyhow, he told me there’s only 12 comics on the bill, | 他跟我说他们只会邀请12个喜剧演员 |
| [43:27] | and you are the only woman. | 你是其中唯一的女性 |
| [43:29] | You get that whole runway to yourself. | 这是你完全靠自己赢来的机会 |
| [43:30] | Who told you Gordon Ford’s dead? | -谁告诉的你我在戈登那儿没戏? |
| [43:32] | Doesn’t matter. This is better. | -别管谁说的 反正帕尔这儿更有戏 |
| [43:34] | The whole point of me taking that writing job | 我接受那份编剧工作的唯一目的 |
| [43:36] | was to get on his show. | 就是指望能上他的节目 |
| [43:37] | Hey, look at me. Fuck Ford. | 看着我 |
| [43:40] | He’s a child. Paar is a legend. | 别管福特了 |
| [43:42] | Let Paar break you. | 他太幼稚 |
| [43:44] | Mm? Gordon’ll look like | 帕尔是一个传奇 |
| [43:45] | a fucking idiot ’cause he had the next best thing | 利用他走红吧 |
| [43:47] | sitting in his office, | 到时你再看戈登 |
| [43:48] | and he was too much of a dickhead to put her on. | 就会觉得他是傻子 蠢到竟然不让你上他的节目 |
| [43:50] | – I guess. – You go on Paar first, | 或许吧 |
| [43:52] | Gordon’s going to be so pissed. | 等你上了帕尔的节目 戈登肯定会很光火 |
| [43:54] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [43:56] | Think of how fun that’ll be. | 想想到时场面会多么有趣 |
| [43:58] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [44:00] | So, how about we shift our gunboats to Paar? | 那我们就改换目标 瞄准帕尔怎么样? |
| [44:03] | Not a cat! | 不是猫! |
| [44:04] | Definitely not a fucking cat. | 绝对不是猫! |
| [44:11] | ♪ Walking down the street ♪ | |
| [44:12] | ♪ And suddenly you meet ♪ | |
| [44:14] | ♪ A pair of brown eyes dancing along… | |
| [44:17] | Why are you getting a raise? | -你为什么会涨薪? |
| [44:18] | Oh, hi. What? | -早安 你说什么? |
| [44:20] | You’re getting a raise. | 你涨薪了 为什么? |
| [44:21] | – Why? – Am I? | -是吗? -是的 |
| [44:22] | – Yes. – Says who? | -是吗? |
| [44:23] | The raise fairy. | -是的 -谁说的? |
| [44:24] | Oh. Why? | -涨薪仙子说的 |
| [44:26] | – That’s my question. – Uh… | -为什么呢? -我这不是在问你吗? |
| [44:27] | – You didn’t know? – I didn’t know. | -你不知道你涨薪了? -不知道 |
| [44:29] | It’s a big one, too. | 涨薪幅度很大 |
| [44:30] | You’ll be making as much as the men. | 你现在的薪水和男人一样了 |
| [44:31] | Jiminy Crickets. | 我的妈呀! |
| [44:33] | – More than one of them. – Ooh, Ralph? | -比他们其中一人还要高 -拉尔夫吗?是拉尔夫吗? |
| [44:35] | – Is it Ralph? – Oh, I’m not telling you that. | 我可不会告诉你是谁 |
| [44:37] | Yes, it’s Ralph. | 没错 是拉尔夫 |
| [44:38] | Well, this is very serious. | 这事态很严重啊 |
| [44:40] | I mean, if this gets out, | 如果这事传出去 |
| [44:41] | every working woman will want to get paid | 每个职业女性都会要求 |
| [44:43] | just as much as a man to do the exact same job, | 跟男性同工同酬 |
| [44:45] | and our entire civilization will collapse. | 到时人类文明会崩溃的 |
| [44:47] | Exactly. | 就是 |
| [44:48] | Can’t help you, Mike. | 这我可帮不了你 |
| [44:49] | ♪ And the show has begun ♪ | 迈克 |
| [44:54] | Hi. Got a sec? | 嗨 有空吗? |
| [44:55] | – No. – Okay. | -没空 -好的 |
| [44:59] | I guess I do. | 或许有空吧 |
| [45:03] | I was just wondering, why did I get raise? | 我很好奇 为什么给我涨薪? |
| [45:06] | You know why. | 你知道原因 |
| [45:07] | No, I don’t. | 我不知道 |
| [45:09] | Danny Stevens tried to poach you, | 丹尼史蒂文斯想把你挖走 |
| [45:10] | so I had to bid against him to keep you. | 我得给你涨薪挽留你 |
| [45:12] | That’s how business works. Congratulations. | 商业就是这么运作的 恭喜你 |
| [45:15] | You feel very good about it, I see. | -这次发生的事似乎让你很高兴啊 |
| [45:16] | I’m fine. | -还行吧 |
| [45:18] | I was banned from Toots Shor again. | 只是又一次被图茨肖尔 禁止进他的酒吧了 |
| [45:20] | Well, you did attack him with his own garnish tray. | 谁叫你用他自己的装饰盘打了他呢? |
| [45:23] | Midge, is there anything else I can help you with? | 请问还有什么可以为你效劳的吗? |
| [45:25] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [45:29] | You know, I don’t think he was hitting on me. | 我不认为丹尼是在勾搭我 |
| [45:32] | I know when men are hitting on me. | 男人是不是在勾搭 我看得出来 |
| [45:33] | Oh, he was. | 他就是勾搭 |
| [45:35] | You are not a woman. | -你不是女人 |
| [45:36] | You are not a man. | -你不是男人 |
| [45:37] | No, but I get paid like one now, apparently. | 没错 但我现在得到的报酬 跟男人一样了 |
| [45:39] | He’s a smooth operator. | 丹尼是个调情圣手 |
| [45:41] | You probably didn’t pick up on it. | 你可能没注意到他在勾搭 |
| [45:42] | Right. | 这可能是因为你说的勾搭 |
| [45:43] | Probably because it didn’t happen. | 根本是子虚乌有 |
| [45:44] | It happened, okay? | 不是子虚乌有 明白吗? |
| [45:45] | It didn’t, but sure. Whatever you say. | 就是子虚乌有 不过没问题 你想咋说都行 |
| [45:53] | Yes, Midge? | 还有事吗 米琪? |
| [45:57] | I’m going to do a showcase for Jack Paar tonight. | 今晚我要参加杰克帕尔的 一场才艺展示会 |
| [46:01] | Got a fancy dress on and everything. | 所以我才盛装打扮了一番 |
| [46:03] | Shaved my whole leg, front and back. | 还给一整条腿刮了毛 正面背面都刮了 |
| [46:07] | He’s going to be there. | 届时杰克帕尔会亲临现场 |
| [46:09] | Jack Paar. | |
| [46:10] | Twelve comics are performing. | 共有12位喜剧演员做表演 |
| [46:12] | I’m the only girl. | 我是唯一的女性 |
| [46:13] | Gives me a little leg up, hence the shaving. | 这会助我一腿之力 所以我才给一条腿刮了毛 |
| [46:16] | Got a good spot. | 我的出场序号非常有利 |
| [46:18] | Toward the end. | 是接近尾声出场 |
| [46:22] | So… | 所以… |
| [46:25] | Want to book me first? | 你想最先一个约我吗? |
| [46:27] | Beat him to the punch? | 抢在他前面? |
| [46:29] | No? Yes? Maybe? | 不想?想?有点想? |
| [46:37] | Okay. | 那好吧… |
| [46:38] | Well… | |
| [46:44] | Going once… | 邀约第一次 |
| [46:46] | going twice… | 邀约第二次 |
| [46:47] | You’re not supposed to back away | 没见过一边倒数一边后退的 |
| [46:48] | when you’re counting down like that. | |
| [46:49] | You stand in front of a person, | 正常的都是在别人面前站定 同时说 |
| [46:51] | you say “once, twice,” and then go. | “第一次 第二次” 然后走开 |
| [46:53] | Okay, thanks for the tip. | 好的 |
| [46:54] | I’ll remember that. | 谢谢你的建议 我会记住的 |
| [47:07] | I’m gonna get this. | 我一定会胜出的 |
| [47:11] | You’ll see. | 你等着瞧 |
| [47:22] | Lost in Bermuda. | 迷失在了百慕大 |
| [47:25] | I love being a comedian, | 我喜欢当喜剧演员 |
| [47:27] | because even though people are judging me up here, | 即使人们会评判我 |
| [47:28] | at least they’ve been drinking. | 至少他们同时在喝酒 |
| [47:30] | Jesus, someone hand me a pillow. | 天啊 谁能递给我一个枕头? |
| [47:33] | I feel like I’ve been watching the same blue suit | 我仿佛是连着三小时 |
| [47:35] | complain about blue balls for three hours. | 一直在观看同一套西装抱怨蛋疼 |
| [47:37] | Because you have. | 事实就是如此 |
| [47:38] | – Paar’s still there, right? – Yes. | 帕尔还在吗? 还在 |
| [47:40] | He is loading a gun to blow his brains out, though. | 不过看他那样子 像是在准备上吊自杀 |
| [47:42] | Make sure he saves me a bullet. | 请他务必看了我的表演之后再自杀 |
| [47:44] | Midge Maisel? | 你是米琪梅赛尔? |
| [47:46] | There’s only one chick on the bill, one set of tits. | 名单上只有一个女的 |
| [47:48] | Why is it a question? | 用得着问这问题吗? |
| [47:49] | You could be Midge Maisel. You’ve got tits. | 你也可能是米琪 你有奶子 |
| [47:51] | I got to say, it’s nice someone finally noticed. | 很高兴总算有人注意到我是女的了 |
| [47:54] | – I’m Midge. – You’re up next. | -我是米琪 -下一个是你 |
| [47:56] | Well, here goes nothing. How do I look? | 豁出去了 我看起来怎么样? |
| [47:58] | For this crowd? Like the eighth night of Hanukkah. | 就像光明节的第八夜 |
| [48:00] | But coming up next is a good friend of mine… – Tits up. | 昂首挺胸 |
| [48:02] | – Tits up. – …be kind. Mrs. Maisel. | 昂首挺胸 …梅赛尔太太! |
| [48:08] | Hello, hello, ladies and gentlemen. | 哈喽 |
| [48:11] | Wow. People, really, did you all get bad news | 女士们 |
| [48:14] | at the same time? | 先生们 各位该不会是同时收到了坏消息吧? |
| [48:15] | Is it terminal? | 是得了癌症晚期吗? |
| [48:17] | How many puppies got clubbed to land me this sea of faces? | 到底有多少小狗挨了棍棒 |
| [48:20] | It’s like there are Germans downstairs or something. | 才让大家全都这么一副表情? 仿佛楼下来了德国人似的 |
| [48:24] | They live. | 原来你们都是活人啊! |
| [48:26] | Great. | 很好 已打烊 私人活动 |
| [48:30] | You’re very funny. | -你很逗 |
| [48:31] | Thank you. | -谢谢 |
| [48:50] | You got any arsenic on you? | 你身上带了砒霜吗? |
| [48:51] | Oh, shoot. Other purse. | 哎呀 在另一个手提包里 |
| [48:53] | Just my luck. | 我总这么倒霉 |
| [48:54] | Last smoke? | 要不要抽最后一根烟? |
| [48:57] | I’m guessing you weren’t happy with your set. | 看来你对自己的表演不太满意 |
| [48:58] | What was not to be happy about? | 有什么不满意的? |
| [49:00] | They coughed, they talked, they ordered drinks. | 观众有的在咳嗽 有的在点酒水 |
| [49:02] | It was like Sunday night bingo without the door prize. | -就像玩了个不设参与奖的宾果游戏 |
| [49:04] | It wasn’t that bad. | -也没有很差 |
| [49:07] | Yeah. | 是吗? |
| [49:10] | It wasn’t that good, either. | 也没有很好 |
| [49:13] | You were, though. | 你的表演倒是很棒 |
| [49:16] | I was okay. | 还行 |
| [49:17] | “Okay.” | “还行” |
| [49:20] | Sure. | 当然 她无论在哪个夜店表演 门票都会卖光 |
| [49:24] | I’ll see you around, Eugene. | 回见 |
| [49:27] | …huge, for her and you. | 尤金 |
| [49:28] | Okay, easiest way to put it, | 这么说吧 |
| [49:30] | the parts just don’t add up, okay? | 她的优势完全说不通 明白吗? |
| [49:32] | What are you talking about? | -你在说什么? |
| [49:34] | I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. | -我完全不理解她的长处 |
| [49:36] | What do you mean, you don’t get it? | 你是什么意思? |
| [49:37] | I mean, I don’t get it. She’s a girl, but she’s pretty. | 我不理解 她是个女人 但很漂亮 |
| [49:39] | She’s got a nice dress and she does what? | 还穿了件漂亮裙子 除此以外 她还有什么? |
| [49:41] | She’s fucking funny. | -她很逗 |
| [49:43] | I don’t know what I’m selling. | -我不知道她的卖点在哪里 |
| [49:44] | You are selling a comic. | 她的卖点在于她能说好笑的段子 |
| [49:46] | I just didn’t get it. | 反正我就是理解不了 |
| [49:48] | – Jack was laughing. – I talked to Jack. | -杰克当时就笑了 |
| [49:50] | He didn’t flag her. Don’t think he got her, either. | -我跟他谈过 他好像也理解不了 |
| [49:52] | Well, the audience sure got her. | 至少观众肯定理解了 |
| [49:53] | Did you hear them? | 你没听到他们的笑声吗? |
| [49:54] | They lost their shit | 她每说一个段子 |
| [49:56] | at every fucking thing she said. | 他们都捧腹大笑 |
| [49:57] | Yeah, they were a nice crowd. | -那是观众给面子 |
| [49:58] | Fuck “nice.” She killed. | -放屁 明明是她的段子逗 |
| [50:00] | She blew every guy away tonight. | 她的表演让每个人都神魂颠倒 |
| [50:03] | Destroyed them. You know that. | 欲罢不能 你心知肚明 |
| [50:05] | Let’s talk about your other client. | 我们还是谈谈你的另一个艺人吧 |
| [50:07] | – What other client? – James Howard. | 什么另一个艺人? |
| [50:09] | I hear that kid’s hot. | 詹姆斯霍华德 我听说他很火 |
| [50:11] | Yeah, James is doing good. | 是的 詹姆斯是不错 |
| [50:13] | Word is when that movie comes out, he’s a star. | 有消息说 那部电影一上映 他就会成为明星 |
| [50:15] | I don’t know. Can we get back to Midge? | 我们能继续谈米琪的事吗? |
| [50:16] | No on Midge. I want to book James. | -米琪不行 |
| [50:18] | – What? – I’d love to get him | 我想约詹姆斯 -什么? |
| [50:19] | on the show as soon as possible. | 我想尽快约他上我们节目 |
| [50:20] | I can offer him great placement. | 我可以给他安排很棒的点位 |
| [50:21] | He can do six minutes, then sit with Jack. | 他可以表演六分钟 然后和杰克坐在一起 |
| [50:23] | Let’s get some excitement going so when that movie hits… | 我们先把气氛营造起来 等那电影一上映就… |
| [50:26] | But you’ve never seen James work. | 你都没看过詹姆斯的作品 |
| [50:27] | You don’t even know if he’s funny. | 你连他是否幽默都不知道 |
| [50:28] | I know people are talking about him. | 但我知道大家都在谈论他 |
| [50:30] | That’s what I know. | |
| [50:31] | Yeah, fuck that, Pete. | 去你的吧 |
| [50:33] | Tonight is about Midge. | 皮特 今晚的主题是米琪 |
| [50:34] | – But… – I am not discussing James. | -但是… -我不会跟你谈詹姆斯的事 |
| [50:36] | I am discussing the woman that went up there tonight | 我只会跟你谈那个在台上 |
| [50:38] | and wiped the fucking floor with 11 other guys. | 让11个男人输得一败涂地的女人 |
| [50:41] | I want James. | 我只想要詹姆斯 |
| [50:45] | Well, I’m not gonna… | -我不会… |
| [50:46] | You should book him. | -你是该约他 |
| [50:47] | James is great. I’ve seen him work. | 詹姆斯很棒 |
| [50:49] | He’ll be good for the show. | 我看过他的表演 他很适合上你们的节目 |
| [50:51] | Look, Midge… | -米琪… |
| [50:53] | It’s fine. You don’t have to get me. | -没关系 你不用非得懂我的想法才行 |
| [50:55] | Not everyone’s gonna get me. I don’t get me sometimes. | 连我有时都不懂自己的想法 |
| [50:58] | There are mornings when I wake up, | 有时我早晨醒来 |
| [50:59] | and I’m like, “Who are you? What are you? | 都会好奇问自己:“你是谁?” |
| [51:01] | Why are you dressed like that?” I understand. | “为何穿成这样?” 我理解的 |
| [51:02] | – Miriam, let me handle this. – No, Susie. | -让我来处理… -不 苏西 |
| [51:05] | Don’t hurt James. | 不要伤害詹姆斯 |
| [51:07] | Don’t do that. I’m good. | 别做这种事 我没事 |
| [51:10] | Really. | 是真的 |
| [51:13] | You are a class act, Midge Maisel. | 你很有度量 |
| [51:15] | I will give you that. | 米琪梅赛尔 这点我得承认 |
| [51:17] | Well, that’s something, right? | 这点还是值得称道的 对吧? |
| [51:21] | Thank you for the opportunity, Pete. Really. | 谢谢你给我的机会 皮特 真的 |
| [51:26] | I hope to be able to say “I told you so” one day. | 我只希望有一天我能够对着你说 “后悔了吧” |
| [51:29] | Me, too. | 但愿如此 |
| [51:32] | Call you tomorrow. | 我明天给你打电话 |
| [51:40] | Okay, let’s talk dates, huh? | 好了 我们来谈谈日期吧 |
| [51:44] | Sure. | 行 |
| [51:46] | Jack fucking Paar. | 杰克帕尔? |
| [51:48] | – Yep. – My mother’s gonna shit. | -是的 -我妈会激动得拉屎的 |
| [51:49] | She gonna shit, she gonna pass out, | 她会激动得拉屎、昏倒 |
| [51:51] | she gonna wake up and she gonna shit again. | 又醒来、又拉屎 |
| [51:52] | Sounds like it’s gonna be a rough night for your mother. | 看来对你妈来说 那会是一个难熬的夜晚 |
| [51:54] | Oh, man, I can’t believe this year. | 天啊 我真不敢相信我今年的运势 |
| [51:58] | Seven months ago, I was working for wings and fries | 七个月前我还在养鸡场工作 |
| [52:00] | at that chicken place, and now I’m in a movie, | 而现在我在拍电影 |
| [52:02] | and I’m gonna be on Jack Paar. | 还即将上杰克帕尔的节目 |
| [52:05] | Don’t pinch me. I don’t want to wake up. | 但愿我不是在做梦 |
| [52:07] | You are on a roll, that’s for sure. | 你确实是好运连连 这是肯定的 |
| [52:09] | So, what’s the date? When do they want me? | -那他们想要我几时上节目? |
| [52:11] | I want to talk to you about that. | -这事我想跟你谈谈 |
| [52:12] | Hey, I don’t care when it is. | 我不在乎是几时 |
| [52:13] | I’ll cancel whatever I have going. | 我愿意取消一切活动配合他们 |
| [52:15] | Jack want me, | 杰克想要我上节目 |
| [52:16] | Jack can have me. | 没问题 |
| [52:17] | I want you to turn it down. | 我想要你推掉这个机会 |
| [52:19] | What? Why? | 什么?为什么? |
| [52:22] | It’s not your turn. | 暂时还没轮到你 |
| [52:24] | What the hell does that mean? | 这到底是什么意思? |
| [52:25] | You are on a great path right now, | 没有帕尔 你也已经走在 |
| [52:27] | without Paar. You don’t need him. | 康庄大道上了 你不需要他 |
| [52:29] | Let’s let the movie come out and then you do Paar. | 我们还是先等电影上映 之后你再去帕尔的节目 |
| [52:32] | – Why? – I told you. | 为什么? |
| [52:33] | It’s just not your turn. | 我说了 暂时还没轮到你 |
| [52:35] | Uh-huh. Well, how about you make it my turn, then? | 那你安排一下 让我轮到呗 |
| [52:37] | – James… – You book it, Susie. | -詹姆斯… -你去帮我预订 苏西 |
| [52:39] | I don’t think we should. | 我认为我们不该这么做 |
| [52:41] | You either give me a better reason | 你要么给我一个更好的理由 |
| [52:42] | than “It’s not your turn,” ’cause, frankly, | 说实话 |
| [52:44] | that means fuck all to me right now, | 再好的理由 都无法说服此刻的我 |
| [52:46] | or you book the spot. | -要么你去帮我预订位子 -詹姆斯… |
| [52:48] | – James… – Book me | 你去帮我预订 |
| [52:49] | or I’ll find someone else who will. | 不然我就去找别人 |
| [52:52] | ♪ Son of a gun ♪ | 上东区 |
| [52:58] | ♪ He walked in to the party… | 1973年 |
| [53:00] | This place is nuts. | 这地儿很疯狂 |
| [53:01] | Apparently Mama was so pleased with the shoot today | 据说妈妈对今天的拍摄很满意 |
| [53:04] | that she wants to come back tomorrow | 她想回来再拍一些角度 |
| [53:05] | to add some more angles. So it looks more filmic. | 让这支广告更有“电影味儿” |
| [53:08] | She learned that term today. | 这是她今天学到的新词 |
| [53:10] | “Filmic.” And “copy that.” | “电影味儿”和“收到” |
| [53:12] | Midge, this commercial has already cost triple | 米琪 这支广告的成本 |
| [53:15] | – what we had budgeted. – What can I tell you? | 已经涨到我们预算的三倍了 我能说什么呢? |
| [53:18] | Okay, I’d like to have | 我想就此事跟你做一次 |
| [53:19] | a “come to Jesus” talk about this, if I could. | “来到耶稣身边”式的顿悟谈话 |
| [53:20] | You want to have a “come to Jesus” talk with a Jew? | 你想跟一个犹太人 做“来到耶稣身边”式的谈话? |
| [53:22] | This hobby of your mother’s… | 你妈妈的这个爱好… |
| [53:23] | – Oops. – Whoa, there. | 千万别让妈妈听到你 |
| [53:25] | Don’t you ever let Mama hear you call it that. | 这么形容她这事 |
| [53:26] | She will bite your nuts off and make them into earrings. | 她会把你的蛋扯下来做耳环的 |
| [53:28] | This business of hers | 她的这项业务已经 |
| [53:30] | has officially become a huge financial drain on you. | 给你造成了巨大经济损失 |
| [53:33] | – How huge? – King Kong to Fay Wray. | 多大? 相当于金刚对菲伊雷而言 |
| [53:35] | Well, at least I get to be an ingénue again. | 至少我再次体验了一把 当天真少女的感觉 |
| [53:38] | The Madison Ave location was bad enough, | 把地点选在麦迪逊大道就够糟的了 |
| [53:39] | but the fact that she refused to rent | 她还不肯租 |
| [53:41] | and you had to buy the building? Why didn’t you call me? | 搞得你只能买下这楼 |
| [53:43] | I was playing Tahoe. The phones were sticky. | -你为啥不先给我打个电话? -当时我的电话太粘了 |
| [53:45] | The business is not making money. | 这业务不赚钱 |
| [53:47] | We should really think about closing the place. | 我们必须把这地方关了 |
| [53:49] | We can negotiate severance for the employees, | 我们可以跟职工协商遣散费 |
| [53:51] | and we can try to sell the building. | 并且看看能不能把这楼卖掉 |
| [53:52] | We’ll take a loss, | 我们会承受亏损 |
| [53:53] | but we should get it off your books. | 但无论如何得赶紧甩掉这项业务 |
| [53:55] | You can just pay your mom a salary, | 你可以直接给你妈妈发薪水 |
| [53:57] | straight from you to her. | |
| [53:59] | It’ll be more than she’s making now. It… | 发的比她现在赚的还多 |
| [54:01] | Susie, back me up here. | 苏西 声援我一下 |
| [54:03] | He’s not bullshitting you. The numbers are bad. | 他不是在胡扯 账上的数字很难看 |
| [54:09] | Brian, I appreciate what you’re saying, | 我很感激你的建议 |
| [54:10] | but this place is more important to my mother | 但这个地方对我妈妈 |
| [54:12] | than her grandchildren, her husband, her son or me, | 比对任何人而言都重要 |
| [54:15] | so it will stay open as long as she wants it to stay open. | 所以只要她想开着 这里就会一直开着 |
| [54:18] | I don’t want her worrying or feeling sad or like a failure. | 我不想让她担心或者难过 或者觉得自己很失败 |
| [54:22] | We will continue to tell her business is great, | 我们要继续跟她说生意很好 |
| [54:24] | and we will make as many commercials as she wants, | 她想拍多少广告就拍多少 |
| [54:26] | because that’s all I can do for her | 因为这是她所剩不多的时间里 |
| [54:28] | in the brief time she’s got left. | 我唯一能为她做的 |
| [54:33] | Book the Australian tour. | -帮我预订去澳大利亚的巡演 |
| [54:35] | First thing tomorrow. | -我明天立马去办 |
| [54:37] | Miriam. | 米里亚姆 |
| [54:38] | I just had a brilliant idea. | 我刚刚想出了 |
| [54:41] | – Testimonials. – Ah. | 一个绝妙的主意 证言! |
| [54:43] | We film all my great success stories | 我们可以拍摄所有我撮合成功的 |
| [54:45] | and do a series of commercials with them. | 恩爱夫妻 做成一系列广告 |
| [54:47] | I mean, it may affect everything we just did today, | 这可能会影响我们今天拍的全部内容 |
| [54:49] | but, push come to shove, | 实在有必要的话 |
| [54:50] | we just do it again. What do you think? | 我们大不了重拍一次 你觉得怎么样? |
| [54:54] | I think that’s a great idea, Mama. | 我觉得这个主意真好 妈妈 |
| [55:07] | The bathroom is not gonna be fixed in time, | 浴室不会及时修好 |
| [55:11] | and the whole place smells like mildew, | 而且整个房子里都有霉味 |
| [55:13] | so I can’t have my event here. | 所以我没法在这里办活动 |
| [55:15] | I’m going to have to rent a hall, | 我只好去租一个大厅 |
| [55:17] | I’m going to have to spend my own money, | 到时我就得花自己的钱 |
| [55:19] | and it’s going to cost a fortune. | 并且还得花不少 |
| [55:23] | I know you don’t care. | 我知道你不在乎! |
| [55:24] | You think what I do is silly and frivolous. | 你觉得我做的事很傻很无聊! |
| [55:27] | That’s fine. It only means something to me. | 没关系 这事只对我有意义 |
| [55:54] | Esther? | 艾斯特 |
| [55:55] | The Earth is exploding. Did you hear? | 地球要爆炸了 你听到了吗? |
| [55:57] | No, it’s not. Something just fell. | 不会爆炸的 是有东西掉下来了 |
| [55:59] | It’s okay. Go back to bed. | 没事的 回去睡觉 |
| [56:09] | Miriam? Are you all right? | 米里亚姆?你没事吧? |
| [56:14] | Miriam? | 米里亚姆 |
| [56:15] | Not now, Papa. | 让我一个人静静 爸爸 |
| [57:01] | Where’s Nancy? The food’s getting cold. | -南希在哪里?饭菜要凉了 |
| [57:03] | – She’s got a date. – Oh. | -她有个约会 |
| [57:05] | A date? | 约会?和一个男生? |
| [57:07] | With a boy? | 是的 亲爱的 |
| [57:09] | Yes, dear, a date. Potatoes? | 约会 吃土豆吗? |
| [57:12] | – Don’t try to distract me with potatoes. – But you love potatoes. | -别转移话题 -可你喜欢吃土豆啊 |
| [57:15] | I don’t want to talk about potatoes. | -我不想聊土豆的事 |
| [57:16] | Okay. | -好吧 |
| [57:17] | Carrots? | 那吃胡萝卜? |
| [57:20] | Carole, our daughter is 15. | 卡罗尔 咱们女儿才15岁 |
| [57:21] | – Danny… – No dating till she’s married. | -丹尼… -她结婚之前不许约会 |
| [57:23] | Then her husband can decide when she dates. | 等她结婚了 由她老公决定能不能约会 |
| [57:26] | Can you get that, dear? | 你能去看看吗 亲爱的? |
| [57:28] | Fine, but when I get back, | 好吧 |
| [57:30] | we’re going to have a long talk | 可等我回来后 我们得谈谈 |
| [57:31] | about who’s in charge of this household. | 谁才是这个家里的话事人 是我 |
| [57:33] | Me. On second thought, | 我又想了一下 刚才的谈话 |
| [57:35] | that was the talk. Talk’s done. | 就算是谈话 谈话已经结束 |
| [57:38] | Oh, you’re kidding me. | 这是在开玩笑吗? |
| [57:39] | Is Nancy here? | -南希在吗? |
| [57:40] | No, she enlisted. | -不在 她参军了 |
| [57:42] | For how long? | 要参军多久? |
| [57:45] | What’s your name, son? | 你叫什么名字? |
| [57:46] | Skippy. | 旺财 |
| [57:47] | Your parents named you Skippy? | 这是你父母起的名字? |
| [57:48] | – Yes. – On purpose? | -是的 -是有意这么起的? |
| [57:49] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [57:51] | Do they know you’re not a puppy? | 他们知不知道你不是小狗? |
| [57:52] | Danny, let the boy in. He’ll catch cold. | 丹尼 让他进来 他会感冒的 |
| [57:55] | It’s a hallway, not the tundra. | 这是过道 又不是冻原 |
| [57:58] | Okay, get in. Get in. | 好吧 进来吧 |
| [58:01] | You sure do have a nice home, Mr. Stevens. | 你家很漂亮 史蒂文斯先生 |
| [58:03] | What, are you casing the joint? | 怎么?你在踩点? |
| [58:04] | Aw, you brought Nancy flowers. | 你还给南希带了花 |
| [58:08] | Let’s see. When was | 让我想想 |
| [58:09] | the last time I got flowers? | 我上次收到花是几时? |
| [58:11] | Oh, it was when the doorman | 哦 |
| [58:13] | brought up a bouquet by mistake. | 是看门人误把别人的花送来那次 |
| [58:14] | He had the wrong apartment. | 他把房号搞错了 |
| [58:17] | Skippy, come. | 旺财 过来 |
| [58:19] | Sit. | 坐下 |
| [58:22] | Good boy. | 真乖 |
| [58:23] | Now, Skippy… | 旺财 |
| [58:24] | I still cannot get over that name. | 你这名字依然让我无法释怀 |
| [58:26] | I’m gonna ask you a few questions. | 我要问你几个问题 |
| [58:28] | – Do you date a lot, Skippy? – No. | -你经常约会吗 旺财? -没有经常 |
| [58:30] | How come? Girls don’t like you? | -女生为什么会不喜欢你? -什么? |
| [58:31] | – What? – Is there something wrong with you? | 你是不是有什么毛病? |
| [58:33] | I don’t think so. | 应该没有 |
| [58:36] | Hi, Skippy. | 嗨 旺财 |
| [58:37] | Hi, Nancy. You look swell. | 嗨 南希 你很漂亮 |
| [58:39] | Oh, thanks. We should go. | 谢谢 我们该走了 |
| [58:41] | Ah, excuse me, I’m not done with Skippy yet. | 我还有事跟旺财说 |
| [58:43] | – Follow me. – What are you doing? | -跟我来 -你要干嘛? |
| [58:44] | I’m gonna race him down the hall. | -我要和他在过道里赛跑 |
| [58:45] | What? | -什么? |
| [58:46] | I just want to see | 我是想看看他能不能跑得过我 |
| [58:48] | if he can outrun me. | |
| [58:49] | Time to go, you two. | 你俩该走了 |
| [58:50] | Have fun. Be home by 10:30. | 玩得开心点 10点半之前得回家 |
| [58:52] | 10:30? What is this, Spain? | 10点半?你以为这里是西班牙? |
| [58:55] | Home by 8:45. | 8点45之前得回家 |
| [58:57] | But, Daddy… | 爸爸… |
| [58:58] | Danny, may I see you | 丹尼 |
| [59:00] | over here for a moment? | 你可以过来一会儿吗? |
| [59:01] | – Why? – I just want to talk to you. | -怎么了? -我想和你聊聊天 |
| [59:03] | He started it. | 这事是他挑起的 |
| [59:06] | Danny, your daughter | 丹尼 |
| [59:08] | is about to go to her very first dance | 你女儿作为一个年轻女士 |
| [59:10] | as a young lady. | 正准备去参加人生第一次舞会 |
| [59:11] | Are you really going to spoil it for her? | 你真的想坏了她的兴致吗? |
| [59:14] | I really want to say “yes.” | 我真的很想说“是的” |
| [59:18] | No. | 不想 |
| [59:20] | That’s the man I married. | 不愧是我嫁的男人 |
| [59:26] | Have fun, you two. | -你俩玩得开心点 |
| [59:28] | – Nancy. – I know, Daddy. | -南希… 我知道 |
| [59:29] | Home by 10:30. | 爸爸 10点半之前得回家 |
| [59:30] | I was just going to say | 我只是想告诉你 |
| [59:32] | you look beautiful. | 你看起来很漂亮 |
| [59:36] | Thank you, Daddy. I love you. | 谢谢你 爸爸 我爱你 |
| [59:40] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [59:41] | Ay-ay-ay. | |
| [59:48] | Very sweet. | 很贴心 |
| [59:49] | Doesn’t count. | 这个不算 |
| [1:00:06] | ♪ If I don’t see her each day ♪ | 如果不能每天见到她 |
| [1:00:09] | ♪ I miss her ♪ Huh. | 我就会想念她 |
| [1:00:13] | ♪ Gee, what a thrill ♪ | 哎呀 |
| [1:00:17] | ♪ Each time I kiss her ♪ | 每次亲她都令我激动 |
| [1:00:21] | ♪ Believe me, I got a case ♪ | 相信我 我迷恋她 |
| [1:00:27] | ♪ On Nancy ♪ | 哦 |
| [1:00:30] | ♪ With the laughing face ♪ | 南希 爱笑的南希 |
| [1:00:34] | ♪ Do you ever hear mission bells ringing? ♪ | 你是否听过布道所的钟声? |
| [1:00:39] | ♪ Well ♪ | 南希能为你带来同样的喜悦 |
| [1:00:41] | ♪ She’ll give you the very same glow ♪ | |
| [1:00:47] | ♪ When she speaks ♪ | 听她说话 |
| [1:00:49] | ♪ You would think it was singing ♪ | 仿若在聆听美妙歌声 |
| [1:00:54] | ♪ Just hear her say hello ♪ | 只消她打声招呼 |
| [1:01:01] | ♪ I swear to goodness ♪ | 我发誓 |
| [1:01:04] | ♪ You can’t resist her ♪ | 你便无法抗拒她 |
| [1:01:08] | ♪ Sorry for you ♪ | 对不住 |
| [1:01:11] | ♪ She has no sister ♪ | 她没有妹妹 |
| [1:01:17] | ♪ No one could ever replace ♪ | 无人能取代我的南希 |
| [1:01:21] | ♪ My Nancy ♪ | |
| [1:01:25] | ♪ With the laughing face ♪ | 爱笑的南希 创意监督 朝思 |