| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:09] | This place looks so fucking good! | |
| [00:11] | Yeah, who cares if the frats won’t let us in? | 对啊 |
| [00:13] | – We’ll just throw our own party! – Yeah! | 他们不让我们进去就算了 我们也办一个派对就行了 |
| [00:15] | And now we don’t have to wait in some long lines, freezing our asses off, | 没错 现在不用在室外 排队排得浑身发抖 |
| [00:18] | hoping some power-hungry douchebags let us in! | 祈祷那些势利眼会让我们进去 |
| [00:21] | Yes, Bela, go off! | 没错 贝拉 继续骂吧 |
| [00:22] | Now we get to be the power-hungry douchebags! | 现在轮到我们当势利眼 |
| [00:24] | I can’t wait to reject people. | 我等不及要拒绝别人了 |
| [00:26] | Oh… | |
| [00:27] | Oh, my God, this looks amazing! | 天啊 布置得好美啊 |
| [00:29] | Yeah, you guys killed this! | 对啊 |
| [00:31] | And we brought more booze. | 你们太棒了 我们还带了酒 |
| [00:33] | – I got high end for the VIPs. – Seniors, populars, and attractives. | -高档酒给贵宾 -学长姐 红人和帅哥美女 |
| [00:36] | And bargain bin for the Gen Pop. | -一般人喝便宜货 |
| [00:38] | Ugs, randos, people less cool than us. | -丑人 怪人和比我们逊的人 |
| [00:39] | – Yeah. | -没错 – Yeah. |
| [00:41] | This is gonna be amazing. | -一定很好玩 |
| [00:42] | Okay. So, now all we have to do is just sit back and let the people come. | 好 |
| [00:46] | Yeah. | 那我们现在只要坐着等人来 “四小时后” |
| [00:50] | I can’t believe no one came. | 竟然没半个人来 |
| [00:52] | Honestly, I’m having fun. Should I put a podcast on? | 其实我挺享受的 要我放播客吗? |
| [00:55] | I just heard a great one about the etymology of the word etymology. | 我最近听到一个不错的播客 在谈”词源”的词源 |
| [01:00] | – Someone’s here! – Quick! Someone start the music! | 有人来了 |
| [01:02] | Dance. Dance. | -谁快去放音乐 |
| [01:03] | Okay. | -快跳舞‥ |
| [01:05] | Come in! | 请进 |
| [01:08] | Oh, it’s Frude. | -是佛德 |
| [01:09] | – Are you here for the party? – Sadly, no. | -你来参加派对吗? 很可惜 |
| [01:11] | Girls, I know you attempted to throw a social event this evening, | 不是 我知道你们今晚想办一场派对 |
| [01:15] | and it is clear no one came. | 但显然并没有人出席 |
| [01:17] | There’s still time. | 还早呢 |
| [01:18] | Mmm, it’s 1:30 in the morning. | 已经凌晨1点半了 |
| [01:20] | And a good party would be peaking right now. | -成功的派对现在正是人最多的时候 |
| [01:22] | Damn, Frude. | -佛德 你真狠 |
| [01:23] | But, just because you don’t have friends, doesn’t mean your life doesn’t have value. | 但没有朋友并不意味着 你们的人生没价值 |
| [01:27] | Thanks? | -谢了? |
| [01:29] | I would normally confiscate your alcohol, | -我一般会没收那些酒 |
| [01:31] | but this situation is so sad, you can keep it. | 但你们太惨了 我就不收了 |
| [01:36] | And, hey, make as much noise as you like. No one else is home. | 对了 尽情吵吧 没人在家 |
| [01:41] | Bye, Frude. | 佛德 再见 |
| [01:43] | Guys, Frude just pitied us. | 朋友们 我们被佛德同情了 |
| [01:46] | Oh, my God, we need to fix things with the frats. | 天啊 我们得跟西塔会那群人重修旧好 |
| [01:56] | Good luck asking your mom about the loan. | 希望你妈会答应你贷款的事 |
| [02:00] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [02:03] | – Hi, honey! – Hi, Mom. | -宝贝 你好 |
| [02:05] | I love your new earrings. | -妈 你好 我喜欢你的新耳环 |
| [02:06] | Thank you. Someone left them in the Walgreens bathroom. | 谢谢 有人把它落在 沃尔格林药局的厕所 |
| [02:10] | Finders, keepers, right? | 谁找到就是谁的 对吧? |
| [02:12] | So, look, there’s something I need to talk to you about. | 我有事想跟你说 |
| [02:14] | Oh, my gosh. I have something I need to talk to you about. | 天啊 我也有事要跟你说 |
| [02:16] | Like, I just can’t keep it from you any longer. | 我不能再瞒着你了 |
| [02:18] | – What’s going on? – Well, Biscuit almost died. | -怎么了? -小饼干差点就死了 |
| [02:23] | What? What happened? | 什么 怎么回事? |
| [02:25] | Well, he needed a new colon. Didn’t you? | -它需要换一副肠子 是不是啊? |
| [02:27] | Oh, my God, Biscuit! Is he okay? | -天啊 小饼干还好吗? |
| [02:30] | Yeah. He’s fine. He got into your dad’s Metamucil, | 它没事 它吃了你爸的泻药 |
| [02:33] | and it just blew him right out. | 然后它的肠子就毁了 |
| [02:36] | Aren’t surgeries like that expensive? | 那种手术不是很贵吗? |
| [02:39] | Your dad and I are gonna be paying it off until we’re dead, | 我和你爸会还手术费还到死 |
| [02:41] | but we know how much Biscuit means to you, so, totally worth it. | 但我们知道小饼干对你来说很重要 所以很值得 |
| [02:45] | Yeah, he’s a great dog. | 它是很乖的狗狗 |
| [02:47] | I mean, he’s almost 12, though, so… | -但它也快12岁了‥ |
| [02:50] | It’s fine. No. Dad took some extra shifts on the weekend, | -没事 你爸周末会加班赚钱 |
| [02:52] | and I’ve decided to sell leggings on Etsy. | 我也决定在网络上卖紧身裤 |
| [02:55] | But, sweetie, what did you want to tell me? | 对了 宝贝 你想跟我说什么? |
| [02:58] | It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. | 没事 |
| [03:01] | You sure? | -没什么大不了的 -真的吗? |
| [03:02] | Okay. Well, I want to send leggings to all of you, | 好吧 对了 我要寄紧身裤给你们 |
| [03:05] | but which one do you think Bela would like? | 你觉得贝拉会喜欢哪个? |
| [03:08] | The surfing turtles or the cupcakes? | 冲浪的海龟 还是杯子蛋糕? |
| [03:11] | I think both are so fun. | 这两件都好可爱 |
| [03:16] | Damn! That was, like, great. | 天啊 |
| [03:20] | How’d you get so good at sex? | 好爽哦 你的床上功夫怎么这么好? |
| [03:21] | One summer in high school, I met this older woman who… | 高中的某个夏天 |
| [03:25] | showed me the ways of love. | 我遇到一个比我大的女生 她‥教会我各种姿势 |
| [03:26] | Shut up. Really? | 不是吧‥真的假的? |
| [03:27] | No, I just watch a lot of porn. | -假的 |
| [03:30] | Cool. | 我看了很多色情片 -好吧 |
| [03:33] | Wait, seriously? | 你干嘛 |
| [03:35] | – You’re on a dating app already? – What do you mean? | 现在就看交友软件吗? |
| [03:37] | I mean I was inside you 30 seconds ago. | -什么意思? -我30秒前才在你的体内 |
| [03:39] | I thought we talked about this already? | 不是谈过这个了吗? |
| [03:40] | Aren’t we both allowed to hook up with other people? | 我们不是开放性关系吗? |
| [03:42] | Yeah, I just assumed we’d kind of tactfully look for those hook-ups, | 是 但我没想到会这么开放 |
| [03:44] | like, not when we’re lying naked together. | 我们还光着身子躺在一起 |
| [03:48] | Hey, what are you up to? You wanna hang out tonight? | 你今晚要干嘛 要一起出去吗? |
| [03:49] | You’ve come over, like, three nights in a row. | 你已经连续三晚都来这里了 |
| [03:51] | I just love spending time with you. | 我喜欢跟你待在一起嘛 |
| [03:53] | This is ’cause you and your roommates are banned from parties. | 是因为你和你的室友们 被禁止去参加派对吧 |
| [03:56] | Yes. It’s horrible. I had to do homework last night. | 是 太惨了 我昨晚竟然在写作业 |
| [03:59] | I don’t know what to do with myself. | -我不晓得该怎么办 -听着 |
| [04:01] | Look, guys love flattery. And, I hesitate to tell you this | 男人都喜欢被奉承 我不晓得该不该告诉你这个 |
| [04:04] | because you are pathologically over-confident, but you’re cute. | 因为你过度自信到有点变态 -但你很可爱 |
| [04:08] | Thank you. I know. | -谢了 我知道 |
| [04:10] | So just beg them to let you back in. | 求他们让你们参加就好啦 |
| [04:11] | Smart. Like how I begged you to keep your glasses on during sex. | 好聪明哦 就像我求你 上床时也戴着眼镜一样吗? |
| [04:14] | I need to take them off when I go down on you. | 我下去你那边时得脱下来 |
| [04:16] | They get foggy. I can’t see what I’m doing. | 眼镜会起雾 我会看不到我在干嘛 |
| [04:23] | I’ve got to get at least a B on this Spanish final | 我的西文期末至少得拿B |
| [04:26] | or my mom’s gonna go no bueno on my ass. | 不然我妈要对我的屁股不客气了 |
| [04:28] | See? This is why I take easy classes. | 看吧 这就是为什么我都选简单的课 |
| [04:31] | Next trimester, I’m taking the class that just called Textures. | 我下学期要选一堂叫”格调”的课 |
| [04:38] | Sweet mother of Kristen Stewart, that is a smoking hot woman. | 我的克莉丝汀史都华啊 那个女人真性感 |
| [04:43] | Do you know who that girl is? | 你知道那女的是谁吗? |
| [04:44] | I know exactly who she is. | 我知道 她很性感 |
| [04:46] | She’s hot, she works at Sips, and she just touched your man’s arm. | 她在啜饮馆打工 还有她刚碰了你男友的手臂 |
| [04:51] | I will be right back. | 我马上回来 |
| [04:53] | – It’s crazy. I didn’t make that happen. – You’re catching on fast. | -你竟然成功了 |
| [04:55] | Maybe you should be training me. | -你学得很快 应该换你来培训我 |
| [04:57] | Oh, Whit! This is our new coworker, Zoe. | 小惠 这位是我们的新同事佐伊 |
| [04:59] | – Hi. – Hey. I’m Whitney. | -你好 -你好 |
| [05:00] | I live with Kimberly. | 我是惠妮 金柏丽的室友 |
| [05:02] | Kimberly, yes. Oh, my God, I love her. | 金柏丽 天啊 |
| [05:04] | She reminds me of my grandmother. | 我很喜欢她 她让我想起我奶奶 |
| [05:06] | Zoe just fixed our register system so that it’s all automated to the iPad. | 佐伊刚修好了我们的点餐系统 |
| [05:09] | Oh. | 现在可以自动化到平板了 |
| [05:10] | Mostly, so I could make the minimum tip option 30%. | 主要是因为我想拿至少三成的小费 |
| [05:13] | She’s like some mad coder genius. How cool is that? | 她就像个疯狂的程序天才 太酷了吧 |
| [05:17] | That’s cool. | -挺酷的 |
| [05:18] | Oh, she also jailbroke my iPhone. | -她还帮我越狱苹果手机 |
| [05:20] | It’s like, damn, Zoe, leave something for the rest of us to be good at. Right? | 天啊 |
| [05:26] | But you never seemed to mind | 佐伊 你什么都擅长 |
| [05:30] | Shine like a diamond always | 留点机会给我们吧 对吧? |
| [05:34] | I’m so glad you DM’ed me. | 我很高兴你私讯了我 |
| [05:38] | By the time I leave here, you’ll be glad I did a lot of things. | 我离开这里的时候 |
| [05:40] | I guess I should walk away Baby, girl, you trippin’ | 你会很高兴我做了很多事 |
| [05:49] | – That was fun. – Yeah. | -真好玩 |
| [05:51] | Yeah. | -对啊‥ |
| [05:54] | Leighton? Why are you all messy and happy-looking? | 蕾登 你怎么看起来有点凌乱 但又很开心的样子? |
| [05:59] | Wait, did you just hook up… with her? | 等等 你们刚上床了? |
| [06:02] | I did. | -对啦 |
| [06:04] | I’m Leighton’s roommate. | -我是蕾登的室友 |
| [06:05] | I’ve seen her change, and you are one lucky lady. | 我看到了她的转变 你很幸运 |
| [06:07] | – Okay. | – Okay. All right. I’ll hit you up later. |
| [06:17] | Oh! | -好‥待会儿见 -好 |
| [06:21] | – Later. Bye. – Bye. | -再见 -再见 |
| [06:25] | Okay, that was a lot. Even for me. | 好吧 连我都觉得那有点过了 |
| [06:28] | Right? | -对吧? -其实我很高兴碰到你 |
| [06:28] | Oh, actually, I’m so glad I ran into you. | -对吧? -其实我很高兴碰到你 |
| [06:31] | I’m on my way to talk to the Theta guys at the gym. | 我要去体育中心跟西塔会的人谈谈 |
| [06:33] | I have a plan to get us back on their good side. | 我有个能讨他们欢心的计划 |
| [06:35] | It’s genius and it cannot fail. | 绝对会成功的妙计 |
| [06:37] | Did you come up with it? | -你想出来的吗? |
| [06:38] | – I did. – Yeah. I’m gonna go with you. | -没错 -好 |
| [06:40] | Okay. | 我跟你一起去 -好 |
| [06:44] | So, did you tell your mom about your scholarship? | 你跟你妈说了奖学金的事吗? |
| [06:47] | It’s not gonna happen. | 这方法行不通 |
| [06:48] | But I’ll figure it out. | 但我会想办法的 |
| [06:49] | I just signed up for 23 and Me | 我刚申请了”23和我”基因测试 |
| [06:51] | to see if I have any rich relatives I don’t know about yet. | 看看我有没有一些不认识的富豪亲戚 |
| [06:54] | Oh, I love that site. | 我喜欢那个测试 |
| [06:56] | It told me J.Lo was a distant great-aunt. | 它说珍妮佛洛佩兹是我的远方姨婆 |
| [06:58] | Can you see it? | 看得出来吗? |
| [07:00] | Me too. | -我也这么觉得 |
| [07:01] | Kimberly. | -金柏丽 |
| [07:02] | Professor Hennessey! | 韩妮诗教授 |
| [07:04] | It’s so good to see you! What can I get you? | 很高兴见到您 您想点些什么呢? |
| [07:06] | I came to see you, actually. | 我其实是来找你的 |
| [07:07] | – Oh. – I wanted to ask | 我想问你明天要来我家 |
| [07:09] | if you could come to a small dinner party at my home tomorrow. | 参加一个小型晚宴吗? |
| [07:13] | Like, to cater it? | -去提供饮食吗? -不是 是作为客人参加 |
| [07:14] | No, as a guest! | -去提供饮食吗? -不是 是作为客人参加 |
| [07:16] | I’m inviting a group of students | 我邀请了一群学生 |
| [07:17] | who I think would enjoy a spirited exchange of ideas. | 我觉得你们会热情地交流想法 |
| [07:19] | I love spirited exchanges. What can I bring? | 我超爱热情的交流 |
| [07:22] | Like, dessert, or a clipping from a feminist magazine? | 我要带什么 甜点吗? 还是女性主义杂志的剪报? |
| [07:25] | No, just you. Arif will be there as well. | 不用 人到就好 -阿里夫也会来 -你好‥ |
| [07:28] | – Hi. | – Hi. |
| [07:29] | He’s a student from Syria, staying in our guest room | 他来自叙利亚 |
| [07:31] | until he finishes his studies. | 他完成学业前会住在我家客房 |
| [07:34] | – So, you like helping students in need? – Of course. | 您喜欢帮助有困难的学生 |
| [07:37] | – Even the white ones? – I would love to come! | -当然了 -包括白人学生吗? |
| [07:39] | – Great! It’ll be fun. – See you tomorrow. | -我想去晚宴 -太好了 一定会很有趣 |
| [07:42] | – Bye. | – Bye. -明天见 |
| [07:43] | And bring a friend. | -再见 -再见 -带个朋友一起来 |
| [07:45] | Okay. We’re going to that dinner. You’re gonna get that lady | 好 |
| [07:47] | to co-sign your loan for you. | 我们要去那场晚宴 你要让那女士当你的贷款担保人 |
| [07:48] | What? No. She’s my professor. | 什么 不行 她是我的教授 |
| [07:50] | Okay. Yeah. But if she can financially aid that Syrian snack, | 对 |
| [07:53] | maybe she can help you, too. | 但若她能资助那个叙利亚帅哥 或许也能帮你 |
| [07:55] | She does love me. | 她的确很喜欢我 |
| [07:56] | Absolutely. This will work. | 当然了 这绝对行得通 |
| [07:59] | Now, let me see if hot Arif and I have any mutuals in common. | 我来看看帅哥阿里夫和我 有没有共同关注什么人物 |
| [08:03] | And, oh, my God, we both follow Malala? I can work with that. | 天啊 我们都关注了马拉拉 我能从这里下手 “艾赛克斯体育中心” -快‥ -我拿到了‥ |
| [08:18] | Nice. Nice. | -漂亮‥ |
| [08:19] | What are you two doing here? | -你们俩来这里干嘛? |
| [08:20] | Yeah, what part of us actively hating you did you not understand? | 对啊 还不明白你们为何惹人厌吗? |
| [08:24] | Look, I hear you. | 听着 |
| [08:25] | On behalf of all of our roommates, we are here to apologize. | 我明白 我代表我的室友们向你们道歉 |
| [08:29] | What we did was wrong, and we are stupid fucking bitches. | 我们错了 我们是愚蠢的臭女人 |
| [08:33] | You and your brothers should have been allowed to cheat as much as you want, | 你们应该尽情地作弊 |
| [08:35] | and use those grades to get into grad schools | 用这些成绩申请上研究所 |
| [08:37] | you could have never gotten into otherwise. | 否则你们永远都申请不上 |
| [08:39] | – Okay. What the hell! – You’re making us sound even worse. | -你在说什么? -你把我们说得更糟了 |
| [08:41] | Yeah, you kind of are. | -你们就是啊 |
| [08:42] | That apology sucked, and your hand was clammy. | -这道歉很烂 而且你的手粘死了 |
| [08:44] | Well, you gotta forgive us! This is killing me. | 你们得原谅我们 我快憋死了 |
| [08:46] | Without an active social life, I’m having regular, monogamous sex | 少了活跃的社交生活后 我只能跟单一对象频繁上床 |
| [08:49] | with someone I only intended to be a casual hook-up. It’s hell! | 我本来只想跟他玩玩而已 这简直就是地狱 |
| [08:53] | Yeah, this isn’t compelling. | 这没什么说服力 |
| [08:54] | And we’ve got bigger things to worry about. | 而且我们有更重要的事要烦恼 |
| [08:56] | Theta might lose their charter because of that stunt you pulled. | 因为你们耍的花招 西塔会可能会被除名 |
| [08:58] | Look, if you want to get Theta out of trouble, | 如果你们希望西塔会没事 |
| [09:00] | prove to the administration that you’re good guys. You know? | 那就向管理部门证明你们是乖学生 |
| [09:03] | Throw a fundraiser for something Essex cares about, like, | 为艾赛克斯在意的事办募款活动 |
| [09:06] | like, climate change or something. | 像气候变迁什么的 |
| [09:07] | How? We can’t throw parties in the house anymore. | 怎么办? 我们不能在家办派对了 |
| [09:10] | They won’t even let my book club meet! | 他们甚至不让我办读书会聚会 |
| [09:11] | I guess I’ll just read The Secret History and talk about it with no one. | 没人能和我讨论《校园秘史》读后感 |
| [09:14] | Well, why don’t you let us figure out where to throw it? | 不如让我们来想想能在哪里办 |
| [09:16] | Yeah. And if this works, | 对啊 如果成功的话 |
| [09:18] | and I’m not sure it will because I have no experience doing this, | 我不确定会不会成功 我没经验 |
| [09:21] | you let us back into parties. | 你们就得让我们参加派对 |
| [09:23] | Okay. But I don’t get why anyone would go to a Theta fundraiser. | 好 但我不知道谁会想参加 西塔会的募款活动 |
| [09:26] | It’s a good point. | 好问题 |
| [09:28] | Damn. I am so money. | 要命 我真棒啊 |
| [09:34] | Do you know what Magic Mike Live is? | 你知道舞棍俱乐部现场秀吗? |
| [09:37] | – A strip show? – It’s not a strip show. | -脱衣舞秀? -不是脱衣舞秀 |
| [09:39] | It’s a sex-positive, female-forward, entertainment strip-tacular. | 这是提倡性积极 由女性主导的 娱乐性质脱衣舞演出 |
| [09:43] | It’s also a fundraiser for climate change. | 也是为气候变迁举办的募款活动 |
| [09:45] | Yeah, those two things don’t mix. | -这两个没什么关联 |
| [09:47] | People are gonna pay to watch these Theta guys take their shirts off? | -没人会花钱看西塔会的人脱衣吧? |
| [09:50] | They’re already never wearing shirts. | -他们本来就不穿衣服 |
| [09:51] | This is different. This is spectacle. | -这不一样 这场面会很壮观 |
| [09:54] | I’m talking tearaway pants, body oil, happy trails, both front and back. | 像是撕裤子 油亮的身体 前后都有的私密小森林 |
| [09:58] | There won’t be a dry, pardon my French, panty in the house. | 现场绝不会有干的内裤 原谅我说得这么低俗 |
| [10:01] | I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think Bela might be right. | 我竟然会说这种话 我觉得贝拉说的有道理 |
| [10:04] | I agree. I do think people will pay for this. | 我同意 我也觉得有人会花钱来看 |
| [10:06] | I know they will. And when this works, you’ll all be thanking me. | 绝对会来看的 事成之后 你们都会向我道谢 |
| [10:09] | Hopefully while holding my hair while I puke into a frat’s urinal. | 我在西塔会的小便斗吐时 你们会边帮我弄头发边道谢 |
| [10:11] | Why are you fantasizing about that? | 你干嘛幻想这种场景? |
| [10:14] | Who knows where fantasies come from? | 谁知道呢? |
| [10:16] | I’m gonna go work on a playlist of songs that’s good to hump a floor to. | 我要去弄一个适合跳舞的歌曲列表 |
| [10:19] | Text me if you have any ideas. | 你们有想法的话 发简讯给我 |
| [10:21] | I’ll be trying some out in my room. | 我会在房间想一想 |
| [10:23] | – Hey, so, I met your new coworker. – Yeah. | 我见到你的新同事了 |
| [10:26] | Zoe? She is so smart and so funny. | 佐伊吗 她很聪明也很幽默 |
| [10:29] | She saw how much apple juice I drink, and she started calling it “my usual.” | 她看我喝那么多苹果汁 就说那是我的”老样子” |
| [10:32] | – Like, “That’s your usual.” – That’s good. | -她会说”那是你的老样子” -挺好笑的 |
| [10:36] | So, everyone likes her? Like, Lila? Your boss? | 那大家都喜欢她吗? 包括莉拉 你老板和迦南? |
| [10:40] | – Canaan? – Yeah! I mean, she’s amazing. | 对啊 |
| [10:43] | AOC even follows her on Twitter! | 她人超棒的 连众议院议员都关注了她的推特 |
| [10:44] | I mean, is that special? AOC follows my mom, too. | 这有什么特别的? 众议院议员也关注了我妈 |
| [10:46] | Yeah, but your mom is a senator. | 对 但你妈是参议员 |
| [10:48] | Zoe is just a student and a former model. It’s different. | 佐伊只是学生和前模特儿 不一样 |
| [10:50] | Wait, are you… Are you, like, jealous of this girl? | 等等 你是‥嫉妒这女生吗? |
| [10:54] | – No. No, I’m not jealous. – Oh! | 没有 |
| [10:57] | She should be jealous of how not jealous I am. | 我没有嫉妒她 她才应该嫉妒我不嫉妒她吧 |
| [11:03] | You guys should join Bela’s comedy magazine thing | 你们真会开玩笑 |
| [11:05] | ’cause that is hilarious. Jealous… | 考虑加入贝拉的搞笑杂志团队吧 |
| [11:14] | Bela, why are there a bunch of male thongs on your bed? | 贝拉 你床上 怎么有一堆男生丁字裤? |
| [11:16] | Because I am jazzing up some booty shorts for the Theta boys to dance in. | 我要让西塔会的人穿上小短裤跳舞 |
| [11:22] | – They are sexy and biodegradable. – Oh! | 这些短裤超性感 而且还是生物可分解的哦 |
| [11:25] | Only if someone asks. They’re not actually biodegradable. | 其实不是 |
| [11:27] | Oh. | 但有人问的话就说是吧 |
| [11:28] | Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! | -该死‥ -怎么了? |
| [11:30] | – What happened? – Oh, God, did your mom get assassinated? | 天啊 你妈被刺杀了吗? |
| [11:33] | – What? No! – Oh. | 什么 |
| [11:35] | No. I was on that girl Zoe’s Insta and I accidentally liked a pic. | 没有‥ |
| [11:38] | Like, a super deep one. | 我在看那个佐伊的社交账号 我不小心点赞了一张很久以前的照片 |
| [11:40] | – How deep? – June? | -多久以前? -六月 |
| [11:41] | That’s not bad. | -那还好啊 -2014年的 |
| [11:42] | – Of 2014. – Okay. | -那还好啊 -2014年的 |
| [11:43] | – Whitney! – That’s bad. | -完了 -惠妮 |
| [11:45] | This doesn’t have to be weird. What is the post? | 也许没那么糟 那张贴文写了什么? |
| [11:46] | It says, “Miss you, Gam Gam. Today and every day.” | “奶奶 我好想你 每天都想你” |
| [11:49] | Oh, fuck me! I liked a picture of her dead grandmother? | 该死 |
| [11:52] | What am I supposed to do? | 我点赞了她已故奶奶的照片 我该怎么办? |
| [11:53] | Just start liking all her pics. It’ll confuse her. | 把她的所有照片都点赞一遍 她就不会怀疑了 |
| [11:55] | No. No. That will make it so much worse. | -不行 |
| [11:57] | Can one of you help me, please? | 那样会更糟糕 -你们谁能帮我啊? |
| [11:58] | Okay. Report her account for terrorism, and then maybe they’ll take it down. | 好 举报她的账号宣扬恐怖主义 也许他们会封锁她 |
| [12:01] | She’s like a hot Black Mark Zuckerberg. She’s gonna figure that out. | 她是性感聪明的黑人版马克祖克柏 她会想办法解除的 |
| [12:03] | Okay, everybody calm down. | 好了 |
| [12:04] | I know what to do. | 大家冷静点 我有个主意 |
| [12:07] | Zoe will see that notification. | 佐伊看到通知 |
| [12:09] | And she will know it’s from you because your face is in your profile pic | 就会知道是你点了赞 |
| [12:12] | and Whitney is in your Insta-name. | 因为你的头像是你的脸 你的账号名提到惠妮 |
| [12:13] | But she won’t know it’s you if you change those things. | 但如果把这些换掉 她就不会知道是你了 |
| [12:16] | So make your account private, change your profile picture | 把账号设置成私人账号 |
| [12:19] | to a stock image of a burrito, and make your account name | 头像换成图库找来的卷饼图 |
| [12:22] | @ChipotleAlbuquerque. | 账号名改成”阿布奎基奇波雷烧烤” |
| [12:24] | She’ll think you’re a random like from Chipotle promo account in New Mexico. | 她会以为这是新墨西哥州 一个奇波雷烧烤的商业账号 |
| [12:27] | Holy shit. That is wildly brilliant. | 天啊 真是个聪明的方法 |
| [12:29] | It really is. That’s, like, Zoe-level smart! | 真的 像是佐伊会想到的方法 |
| [12:32] | Could you not? | 能别这样吗? |
| [12:37] | Professor Hennessey, this dinner has been so fun. | 韩妮诗教授 这场晚宴好有趣 |
| [12:40] | Can I help you with those dishes? | 我能帮忙洗碗吗? |
| [12:42] | Don’t worry about it. I have a dishwasher. His name is Craig. | 不用了 我有个名叫克雷格的洗碗机 |
| [12:48] | So, I probably shouldn’t say this, | 我还没公布期末成绩 所以其实我不该先告诉你 |
| [12:50] | as I haven’t posted the final trimester grades yet, but you got an A. | -但你得到了A -真的吗? |
| [12:54] | – I did? – Yes. | 对 |
| [12:55] | One of two in the class. | 班上只有两个人得A |
| [12:58] | Professor Hennessey, can I ask you something? | 韩妮诗教授 能请您帮个忙吗? |
| [13:00] | Yes, of course, anything. | 当然了 你说吧 |
| [13:01] | I lost my scholarship | 我丧失了奖学金资格 |
| [13:04] | and I need someone to co-sign a loan for me so I can stay here. | 我需要有人为我担保贷款 这样我才能继续念书 |
| [13:07] | I hate to ask you, but my parents can’t know about this, | 我不想请您帮忙 但我不能让父母知道这事 |
| [13:10] | and I don’t know what else to do. All I need… | 我已无计可施 我只需要‥ |
| [13:13] | – Let me stop you. For a second. – Okay. Yeah. | -我得打断你一下 -好 |
| [13:16] | I see a lot of myself in you, Kimberly. | 金柏丽 我在你身上看到自己的影子 |
| [13:18] | And I would never wanna lose a student like you. | 我也不希望失去像你这样的学生 |
| [13:20] | Just give me a minute to think on it, okay? | 给我一点时间考虑 好吗? 好 |
| [13:29] | Yes. This dining hall was born to be a strip club! | 太棒了 这食堂太适合当脱衣舞酒吧了 |
| [13:32] | Looking good, guys. | 不错哦 |
| [13:33] | Time to get fluffed and stuffed. | 是时候放肆玩了 |
| [13:35] | Let’s make our climate daddy proud. | 让我们的气候教父引以为傲吧 |
| [13:38] | Okay, DJ, keep it peppy. I want 80 humps per minute. | 好 DJ 别让场子冷下来 我要每分钟80个节拍 |
| [13:43] | Okay, Cody, work it. Get that chair pregnant! | 科迪 不错嘛 加油 搞大那椅子的肚子 |
| [13:47] | Bela! We’ve sold so many tickets that my Venmo just froze. | 贝拉 我们卖了好多票 我的电子支付账号都当机了 |
| [13:51] | God, this is incredible. | -天啊 太棒了吧 |
| [13:52] | I know. I think this might be my calling. | -对啊 这也许就是我的天职 |
| [13:54] | It combines my two loves, sexy, greasy men and bossing people around. | 这结合了我的两大爱好 性感油亮的男人 还有发号施令 |
| [13:58] | Okay, I gotta give you credit. | 好吧 我得称赞你们 |
| [13:59] | I think this fundraiser could really get our frat reinstated. | 这募款活动应该能帮西塔会恢复名声 |
| [14:03] | It’s my pleasure. | 不客气 |
| [14:04] | And if you take any pictures in the dressing room, | 还有如果你要在更衣室拍照 |
| [14:06] | my AirDrop is always on. | 我的隔空投送都开着 |
| [14:07] | Excuse me, what on earth is going on? | 不好意思 这是怎么回事? |
| [14:10] | Dean Miller! Are you here to buy a ticket? | 米勒院长 你是来购票的吗? |
| [14:13] | To a strip show? | 脱衣舞秀的票吗? |
| [14:14] | Essex is a respected feminist institution, | 脱衣舞秀的票吗? 艾赛克斯是个备受尊敬的 女性主义机构 |
| [14:17] | a cornerstone of Vermont herstory. | 是佛蒙特州女性历史的奠基 |
| [14:20] | Whatever this is, it’s over. | 无论这是什么秀 马上给我喊停 |
| [14:22] | Dean Miller, if you let me explain, this is a legitimate and tasteful event. | 米勒院长 请听我解释 这是合法且有格调的活动 |
| [14:26] | Okay. I didn’t spend three decades | 好 |
| [14:28] | marching in support of women’s rights to support that. | 我花了30年游行支持妇女权利 并不是为了支持那种事 |
| [14:31] | Yo, he is making his dick bounce. | 看 他在用鸡鸡跳舞 |
| [14:33] | Okay, ma’am, we at Theta, | 院长 |
| [14:35] | we’re trying to prove that our bodies aren’t just for pleasure. | 我们西塔会想证明 我们的身体不只能用来享受 |
| [14:38] | They are also for service. | 也能用来服务他人 |
| [14:39] | I promise, if you could just stay and watch my performance | 我保证只要你留下来看我表演 |
| [14:42] | of “Thot Shit” by Megan Thee Stallion, you’ll agree. | 梅根西斯塔莉安的”毒液” |
| [14:45] | Yeah. That’s not happening. | -你也会认同我的 -不可能 |
| [14:47] | The Vermont Constitution was ratified in this room. | 佛蒙特州宪法就是在这里签署的 |
| [14:50] | It’s not where we gyrate to “Thot Shit.” | 这不是让你跳”毒液”的地方 |
| [14:53] | Keep her here till I get back. | 拖住她 等我回来 |
| [14:55] | Dean Miller, can I tell you a long story | 米勒院长 |
| [14:59] | about why the environment is so important to me? | 我想跟你分享 为何我觉得环境保护非常重要 |
| [15:15] | Hi, I’m Bela. I live next door to you and I really need your help. | 你好 我是贝拉 |
| [15:19] | Okay. | 我住你隔壁 -我很需要你的帮忙 -好吧 |
| [15:20] | Also, can I have some water? I ran all the way here. | 还有 能给我杯水吗? 我是一路跑来的 |
| [15:24] | How are you liking Essex, Arif? | 阿里夫 你觉得艾赛克斯如何? |
| [15:25] | It’s really nice. | 我觉得很棒啊 |
| [15:27] | The professor and her husband have been very generous. | 教授和她先生都非常慷慨 |
| [15:29] | Arif, forget about college. You could make a killing in modeling. | 阿里夫 别念大学了 |
| [15:32] | Your bone structure is sick. | 你能当模特赚一大笔钱 你的骨骼结构太美了 |
| [15:33] | Thanks, Lila. You are very sick, too. | 莉拉 谢谢 你也很美 |
| [15:36] | – Kimberly. – Yeah. | -金柏丽 -我在 |
| [15:39] | I thought about what you asked me. | 我考虑了你的请求 |
| [15:41] | And if it means keeping a student like you at Essex, | 如果能让你这样的学生留在艾赛克斯 |
| [15:43] | I would be happy to co-sign for you. | 我很乐意当你的担保人 |
| [15:45] | Seriously? Thank you! Thank you so much! | 真的吗 谢谢您 |
| [15:50] | My pleasure. | -太感谢了 -不客气 |
| [15:51] | All right, gang, I’m gonna call it a night for myself, but please stay and enjoy. | 好了各位 我要先走了 但你们留下来享受吧 |
| [15:56] | Okay. Thank you. | 好的 谢谢 |
| [15:59] | Are you having a good time? | -玩得还尽兴吗? |
| [16:01] | Yeah. Great. | -我玩得很开心 |
| [16:02] | Dinner was awesome, and your wife is the best. | 晚餐很好吃 而且您的太太超棒的 |
| [16:04] | She’s so smart and impressive. | -她好聪明 |
| [16:06] | Yeah, she really is. | 很令人钦佩 -的确是 |
| [16:07] | Although she would kill me if I told you stories about her from college. | 但若我跟你说她的大学趣事 |
| [16:10] | Maybe after one more drink. | 她一定会把我杀了 我再喝一杯再跟你说吧 |
| [16:14] | I love the life you two have. | 我喜欢你们的生活 |
| [16:15] | Two smart, cool academics, in this cute house, | 两个聪明 优秀的学者 一起住在这漂亮房子 |
| [16:18] | with all your books and worldly knickknacks. | 还有那些书和小摆设 |
| [16:20] | It’s like a dream. | 就像梦一样 |
| [16:22] | I can see why Elizabeth likes you so much. | 我理解伊丽莎白为何那么喜欢你了 |
| [16:25] | We should fuck sometime. | 我们应该约个时间上床 |
| [16:31] | As a climate refugee, the fact that these students | 我是一名气候难民 |
| [16:33] | have worked so hard to raise money for the environment, | 这些学生这么努力为环境募款 |
| [16:36] | it almost makes me forget the day that I lost two close friends | 让我几乎都忘了那一天 |
| [16:39] | in a Wizard of Oz-style tornado. | 我两位好朋友丧命于 一场像”绿野仙踪”里的龙卷风 |
| [16:41] | You should be proud of the campus community that you’ve created here. | 你培养了这样的大学团体 你应该感到自豪 |
| [16:43] | Also, Theta raised $11,000 tonight. | 而且西塔会今晚筹得了1万1千美元 |
| [16:45] | You know, I don’t care… Oh, my God, what? | 我才不在乎‥老天 什么? |
| [16:47] | -$11,000? – Yep. | -1万1千美元? -没错 |
| [16:51] | Okay, you can do your show, | 好 你们能继续表演 |
| [16:53] | but lights out by midnight, and no full nudity! | 但12点前要熄灯 还有不准全裸 |
| [16:56] | Don’t worry, Dean. All penises will remain safely stowed. | 院长 你放心 所有阴茎都会被好好收起来的 |
| [16:59] | Okay. | 好 |
| [17:01] | – Holy shit. That actually worked. – Thanks, new hot friend! | -天啊 竟然成功了 -谢啦 新的帅哥朋友 |
| [17:04] | Yeah, I got you. | 不客气 |
| [17:05] | Hey, I’m gonna go back in my room, because I’m expecting this girl | 我要先回房了 |
| [17:07] | in, like, five minutes, but have fun with this. | 我约了个女生五分钟后见面 祝你们玩得开心 |
| [17:11] | All right, everyone, it’s go time! Line up for your good-luck butt slap. | 好了各位 该行动了 排好队准备来个好运打屁屁了 |
| [17:17] | Hello, Essex! How’s everyone doing tonight? | 艾赛克斯的同学们 大家好 今晚玩得怎么样? |
| [17:22] | It’s about to get real heated up in this room, | 接下来这里的温度要升高了哦 |
| [17:24] | and it’s not because of carbon emissions. | 但不是因为碳排放 |
| [17:27] | Give it up for the boys of Theta! | 掌声有请西塔会的男孩们 |
| [17:50] | – Come here. – You got it? | -来吧 -拍好了? |
| [17:51] | Damn. You blinked in this one and somehow you still look fine. | 老天 这张你眨眼了 但还是好漂亮 |
| [17:54] | – Thank you. – It’s going on the main. | -谢了 |
| [17:56] | Okay. | -我要标记你 好 |
| [17:59] | Wait, what’s up? I can’t find your profile. | 等等 怎么回事 |
| [18:02] | Oh, yeah, something weird must have happened. | 我找不到你的账号 -对 |
| [18:04] | Here, let me see. I can fix it. | 有点怪怪的 -给我看看吧 我帮你弄 |
| [18:05] | – No, no, no. It’s good. I can… – Wait, what the… | -不用了 没关系 我‥ -等等 什么‥ |
| [18:10] | Whit, did you rename your account to @ChipotleAlbuquerque? | 小惠 你把账号名改成 “阿布奎基奇波雷烧烤”了吗? |
| [18:13] | There’s wraps and burritos and shit? Why would you do that? | 还发了卷饼 墨西哥卷饼什么的 你干嘛这样? |
| [18:17] | Okay, listen, it’s so stupid. | 好啦 你听我说 这太蠢了 |
| [18:19] | So, I was, you know, lightly perusing your co-worker Zoe’s profile, | 我在随便翻看你同事佐伊的账号 |
| [18:23] | and I accidentally liked a picture of her dead grandma, | 然后不小心点赞了她已故奶奶的照片 |
| [18:25] | so Bela changed my profile to a Chipotle. | 贝拉就帮我把账号换成了奇波雷烧烤 |
| [18:27] | I understood, like, half of that sentence. | 我只听懂了一半 |
| [18:31] | I guess I was jealous | 我想我有点吃醋 |
| [18:33] | of how impressed you are with Zoe, and how smart she is. | 因为你觉得佐伊很优秀很聪明 |
| [18:37] | And… it made me feel, | 会让我觉得‥不知道 |
| [18:40] | I don’t know, unimpressive. | 觉得自己很平凡吧 |
| [18:43] | You have nothing to be jealous about. | 你没必要嫉妒 |
| [18:45] | You’re a dream girl. | 你就是我的梦中情人 |
| [18:47] | And I am not even into Zoe like that, like, at all. | 更何况我对佐伊没那种感觉 一点也没有 |
| [18:52] | Also… | 另外 |
| [18:55] | I was right behind you at Omega Pi | 你在欧米茄派会时 我就在你身后 |
| [18:57] | when you told your friend I’m a loser who doesn’t have a thing. | 你跟朋友说我是个一无所有的失败者 |
| [19:01] | Well, I definitely didn’t say you were a loser. | 我绝对没说你是个失败者 |
| [19:03] | But I’m sorry for saying anything behind your back. That was wrong. | 但我很抱歉我在你背后谈论你 |
| [19:08] | Thanks. | -我不该这么做 -好 |
| [19:09] | But, do I think you have too much time on your hands? | 但我会不会觉得你太闲了? |
| [19:11] | – I mean, it seems like it, right? – Okay, okay, sure. | 说实话 |
| [19:14] | Maybe I could find more constructive ways to use my time. | 有一点吧 好‥也许我能设法善用时间 |
| [19:17] | – Maybe. Maybe. – Yes. | -也许吧‥ -但现在呢‥ |
| [19:18] | But for now, I’m just gonna focus on the “dream girl” part of all this. | -我只想谈梦中情人这部分 -好‥ |
| [19:23] | – Yeah, as you should. – That was cute. That was good. | -我很高兴你这么说 -你就是啊 |
| [19:34] | Was I nuts to dump her? | 我是不是疯了才把她甩了? |
| [19:36] | She’s like one of the hottest girls on campus. | 她可是学校里数一数二性感的女生 |
| [19:39] | Sure. But, given all the texts I’ve gotten about you this week, | 是 但我这周收到很多关于你的简讯 |
| [19:42] | I’m pretty sure you’re one of the hottest queer girls on campus now, too. | 我相当确定你现在也是学校 最性感的酷儿女生 |
| [19:46] | What? Really? | 什么 真的吗? |
| [19:48] | To be clear, you’re not my type. I’m into gingers. I’d die for Shiv Roy. | 先说清楚 你不是我的菜 我喜欢红头发的 像希芙洛伊那种 |
| [19:52] | But you don’t notice the way they all look at you? | 但你没注意到她们看你的样子吗? |
| [19:57] | Shit, they used to do that for me. | 她们以前也会这样看我 |
| [19:58] | Look, sis is practically drooling. | 看 她都流口水了 |
| [20:14] | This is amazing. | 这太棒了 |
| [20:15] | It somehow manages to be both erotic and thought-provoking. | 不晓得为何 我感觉这里既色情又能引人深思 |
| [20:18] | Yeah. Who said you can’t save polar bears | 对啊 |
| [20:20] | and admire a dude’s V-muscles at the same time? | 谁说你不能边拯救北极熊 边欣赏男人的人鱼线呢 |
| [20:24] | Hey, how was the dinner party? | 晚宴怎么样? |
| [20:26] | Good, I guess. My professor said she’d co-sign my loan. | 还不错吧 我教授答应当我的贷款担保人 |
| [20:28] | – That’s amazing! – Yes! | -太好了 -天啊 太棒了 |
| [20:30] | Yeah. But then I was talking to her husband and he said, | 对 |
| [20:34] | “We should fuck sometime.” | 但之后我跟她老公聊天 他跟我说”我们应该约个时间上床” |
| [20:36] | – What? | – What? |
| [20:37] | That’s so gross. | -什么? -太恶心了吧 |
| [20:39] | – What did you tell him? – Don’t worry, I shut it down. | -你怎么回答他? -放心吧 我拒绝了 |
| [20:41] | Okay, but what did you say exactly? | 好 但你具体说了什么? |
| [20:44] | I think I said, “Cool.” | 我好像说”好哦” |
| [20:45] | But in a way that clearly communicated I meant, “Not cool.” | 但我的语气很明显是”不行” |
| [20:48] | Like, “Not cool, man. Not cool.” | 像”不行哦 不行” |
| [20:51] | But did you say the “not” part, or just the “cool” part? | 但你有没有说”不行”? 还是只说了”好哦”? |
| [20:54] | Just “cool.” | 只说了”好哦” |
| [20:55] | Kimberly, cool means cool! You told him yes. | 金柏丽 “好哦”就代表好 |
| [20:58] | No, I didn’t! | -你答应他了 -我没有 |
| [20:59] | Okay, say it to me like you said in the moment. “We should fuck sometime.” | 好 我们来模仿当时的情境 我们应该约个时间上床 |
| [21:02] | Cool. | 好哦 |
| [21:04] | Yeah, so you just told this man that you wanna have sex with him. | 好 你刚答应和这男人上床了 |
| [21:07] | Yeah, I hear that now. | 我现在也意识到了 |
| [21:17] | I think you’re being summoned. | 好像是给你的椅子呢 |
| [21:24] | I think we all are! | 是给我们四个的椅子吧 |
| [21:28] | Okay, but I have to go to church twice tomorrow. | 好 但我明天要去教堂忏悔两次 |
| [21:30] | – Yeah. – Come on. | -没问题 |
| [21:49] | Yes. | -走吧 |
| [21:50] | Weirdly I’m into this. | 奇怪 我竟然有点享受 |
| [22:04] | Kimberly, I’m glad you’re here. | 金柏丽 感谢你来找我 |
| [22:05] | I brought you this to say thanks for the lovely dinner, | 我带了这个 |
| [22:08] | and, you know, the other thing. | 想感谢您的招待 还有那件事 |
| [22:10] | That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. | 我正想跟你说这事 |
| [22:13] | I’m so sorry, Kimberly, but I cannot co-sign your loan for you. | 金柏丽 很抱歉 我不能当你的贷款担保人 |
| [22:18] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [22:20] | Professor Hennessey, I’m so sorry. | 韩妮诗教授 我很抱歉 |
| [22:21] | I never would have done anything sexual with your husband. | 我绝对不会跟您的先生上床 |
| [22:24] | I should’ve said no in the moment, but I was confused. It was just an… | 我应该马上拒绝的 但我当下很混乱 这只是个‥ |
| [22:28] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么? |
| [22:31] | What were you talking about? | 您刚刚要说什么? |
| [22:32] | My accountant was worried | 我的会计师担心当贷款担保人 |
| [22:33] | that co-signing a loan would affect my credit score too much. | 会大大影响我的信用评分 |
| [22:38] | – Did my husband make a pass at you? – Um, you know… | 我先生是不是做出越矩的行为了? |
| [22:41] | I think I just might have misunderstood what he said. | 其实‥我可能是误会他的话了 |
| [22:44] | What did he say? | 他说了什么? |
| [22:46] | I think he said something like, | 他好像说‥ |
| [22:50] | “We should fuck sometime.” | “我们应该约个时间上床” |
| [22:53] | – I am so sorry, Professor. – No. | 教授 我很抱歉 |
| [22:56] | You’ve done nothing wrong. You are not my unemployed husband | 不用 你没做错事 错的是我那失业的先生 |
| [23:00] | who is trying to fuck a co-ed for not the first time. Excuse me. | 这不是他第一次想和女大学生上床了 失陪一下 |
| [23:05] | Craig, hi, it’s your wife, | 克雷格 你好 我是你太太 |
| [23:07] | you piece of shit. | 你这王八蛋 |
| [23:10] | Have you seen yourself in the mirror? | 你能不能照照镜子? |
| [23:12] | I’m just gonna leave the plant. | 我把盆栽放在这里好了 |
| [23:13] | Seriously? You hit on another student? | 你是认真的吗 你又勾引我学生了? |
| [23:16] | That’s it. I’m calling your sister to pick you up. | 我受够了 我会让你姐来接你 |
| [23:18] | Pack your stuff. You’re Nancy’s problem now. | 收拾好你的东西 我要把你丢给南希了 |
| [23:20] | No. You can’t get your guitars later. Take them now. | 不行 你不能之后再回来拿吉他 现在就给我拿走 |
| [23:25] | Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. | 完了‥ 待续 谢谢观赏 |