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囧男窘事(The Life & Times of Tim)第1季第2集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月13日 By jubentaici_movie_user 囧男窘事(The Life & Times of Tim)第1季第2集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
S02E04
S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S02E09
S02E10
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
S03E07
S03E08
S03E09
S03E10
时间 英文 中文
[00:10] *Now you’re looking at a man that’s getting kinda mad* *小炯最近很抓狂*
[00:14] *I had lots of luck but it’s all been bad* *天天霉运一箩筐*
[00:19] *No matter how I struggle and strive,* *发奋努力白劳碌*
[00:23] *I’ll never get out of this world alive* *老天从来不赏光*
[00:34] Ah. Timothy, come on in. 小炯你来啦 快进来
[00:35] – Hey, boss. – I have a small favor to ask of you. -老板你好 -我想要你帮个小忙
[00:37] – Okay. – If the firm ever gets audited, -行啊 -公司要是被审计
[00:41] if you ever find yourself under direct interrogation 你要是被政府人员
[00:44] – by a government official… – Yeah? -直接问讯 -怎么说
[00:46] -I need you– – I don’t like where this is going. -我要你 -我不喜欢这话题的走向
[00:48] I need you to say your name is 我要你说 你的名字是
[00:50] – Tim Sanchez and that– – What? -小炯·桑切斯而且 -您说啥
[00:52] and you are the VP of North American Sales. 而且你还担任北美销售部副总
[00:55] – That’s a small favor? – Tim Sanchez. -这算小忙吗 -小炯·桑切斯给我记住了
[00:59] Why would I say that? 我干嘛要这么说
[01:00] These watchdog groups are saying 那些监管机构老讲
[01:01] we don’t have enough minorities in upper management. 我们高层没啥少数民族的
[01:04] Yeah, but I’m not Hispanic in any way. 但我也不是拉丁裔啊
[01:07] You realize that, right? 这点你清楚的吧 是吗
[01:09] Listen. It’s just a technicality. 这只是一时之计
[01:10] – Yeah. – It’s paperwork for the books. -好吧 -做点表面文章而已
[01:13] If that’s all it is, what do I actually do? 如果这样的话 那我具体要干啥
[01:15] You just sit there, you look Mexican. 你只要乖乖坐着 看起来像个墨西哥人就行
[01:18] And then I go home. 然后就能放我回家了吗
[01:20] And you continue to look Mexican. 你还得继续扮墨西哥人
[01:22] It sounds easy, but I don’t picture this ending well. 听上去蛮简单的 但我觉得会出篓子的
[01:25] Thanks for the chat, Tim. 谢谢你能跟我谈 小炯
[01:29] – Amy? – Yeah? -小美 -怎么了
[01:31] It’s the day we’ve been waiting for. 期盼已久的一天终于来到了
[01:33] – How so? – I got the promotion… -怎么说 -我升职了
[01:35] – Tim. -…big time. -小炯 -好日子
[01:37] Come on, you tell me that all the time 拜托 你老是跟我这么吹
[01:38] and then it just never works out. 没哪次成真
[01:39] Amy, you ready for this? 小美 准备好了吗
[01:42] of North American Sales at Omnicorp. 北美销售部副总
[01:44] From assistant to VP of Sales? 从助手升级到副总
[01:46] Straight– straight to the North American VP. 直升北美副总
[01:48] – Why you? – They like my look. -怎么让你当 -他们中意我的长相
[01:51] – Your look? – They singled me out from the crowd -你的长相 -他们选中了我
[01:53] and said, “That guy, let’s fast-track him to the top.” 说 “我们让那家伙空降吧”
[01:56] Well, I mean, then we need to celebrate, right? 我说 我们得庆祝一番吧
[01:58] Let’s go out. I’ll take you out. 咱们出去 我带你大吃一顿
[01:59] Money’s no object. 钞票都是浮云
[02:00] Oh, how about that cute little French place? 去那家漂亮的法国小餐馆咋样
[02:02] How about any Mexican place? 去墨西哥餐馆如何
[02:05] All the executives eat Mexican. That’s what I’m learning. 头头们都吃墨西哥菜 据我所知
[02:12] Oh, is that my new Hispanic VP 这不是我的拉丁裔
[02:15] of North American sales 北美销售部副总吗
[02:17] – with his feet up on the desk? – Hey, boss. -脚还跷在桌上 -老大你好
[02:19] Doing one heck of a job, Tim, I have to say. 我得说 小炯 你干得不错啊
[02:21] – I am. – Great job in your new position. -没错 -在新职位干的挺好
[02:23] I’m not doing anything, but– 虽然我啥也没干
[02:25] Yeah, but you really– 没错 但你真的
[02:26] you look very Mexican. Keep up the good work. 相当有墨西哥范儿啊 好好保持啊
[02:29] I’ll– I’ll do my best. 我会尽力的
[02:31] We want some publicity out of this… 我们对这次升职要宣传一下
[02:33] – Okay. – so we need you to attend a dinner tonight. -好 -我们要你今晚参加一次晚宴
[02:36] – No. – Yes– for the newly-appointed -不行 -一定得去 为了我们这位
[02:39] minority business leaders of America. 新上任的美国地区少数民族领导
[02:42] – Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah! – Yeah, um– -隆重登场 -没错
[02:44] So you just sit in a crowd, they’ll say your name 你只要坐在人堆里 他们叫你
[02:47] – and you’ll just wave. – I’ll just wave. -你就挥个小手 -挥挥手
[02:50] Yeah, just wave and look vaguely Latino. 挥挥手 再来稍微点拉丁风
[02:53] – This is a very easy job. – It’s perfect for you. -小菜一碟啊 -简直为你量身定做
[02:58] Well, welcome everybody. 大家好
[02:59] Um, first order of business: 首先要说的是
[03:02] we’re sticking with NAMBLA. 我们的主题就是美国地区新上任的少数民族领导
[03:04] Just letting you know. 就跟大家说下
[03:06] Well, we spent quite a bit of money in letterhead, 我们发邀请信花了很多钱
[03:09] so we’re just– we’re backing that play for right now. 现在还是快切入主题吧
[03:13] But basically, 但我们的目的
[03:16] for not only promoting an African-American 因为它不仅让一个黑人
[03:20] as it’s CEO, 做了首席执行官
[03:22] but for now promoting a Latino 现在还提拔了一名拉丁裔
[03:25] as its VP of sales. 做销售总监
[03:27] Let’s get a little applause. That’s what I’m talking about. 大家给点掌声好吗 这就对了
[03:30] That’s it. Just keep with the Mexican waving. 就这样 继续墨西哥式挥手
[03:31] That’s good. You’re doing great, Tim. 很好 你干得不错 小炯
[03:33] Yeah! Now let’s see if we can get Tim 现在让我们把小炯
[03:35] up here to say a few words. 请出来说两句
[03:37] Oh, no, I prefer to just wave. 算了 我情愿一直挥手
[03:40] Get up here, you Hispanic son of a bitch. 快上来 你个拉丁裔小崽子
[03:42] – No. – Tim, up here on the stage! -算了 -小炯 快到台上来
[03:46] You know, I’d love to, but I do not habla ingles. 我想是想 但我个拉丁裔不会讲英语啊
[03:50] – Okay. – I do not speak your language. -好吧 -我不会讲英语
[03:52] – No problem. No problem. – No problem? -没关系 没关系 -没关系
[03:54] We can get a translator up here. 我们给找个翻译就成
[03:56] – No. – Do you speak spanish? -天啊 -你会讲西班牙语吗
[03:58] Um, a little. Enough to get through 会点儿 混过一番激情演讲
[04:00] – an inspirational speech probably. – Tremendous. -应该没问题 -太好了
[04:02] Give it up for Timothy Sanchez. 掌声欢迎小炯·桑切斯
[04:11] Hola. Hola. Hola. Hola. 你们好 你们好
[04:14] Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. 你们好 你们好
[04:23] Three questions I want. 我要问三个问题
[04:31] Where is the bathroom? 洗手间往哪走
[04:36] The bathroom is good. 洗手间很不错
[04:42] Chicken and rice. 鸡肉和大米
[04:45] – Gracias. – Thank you. -谢谢 -谢谢
[04:47] – Hola. – Hi. -你们好 -你们好
[04:54] All right, people, huddle up. 大家 来来来 抱团开会
[04:56] We’re in disaster mode here. 我们现在危机重重
[04:58] No one believes Tim is Hispanic. 没人相信小炯是拉丁裔
[05:00] – I can’t believe it. – This is a PR nightmare. -难以置信 -这是个公关噩梦
[05:03] Okay, ideas. What do we do? 快点想法子 我们该怎么做
[05:05] Well, Omnicorp could admit blame 公司可以认错
[05:07] – and issue a formal apology. – You’re– you’re fired. -然后公开道歉 -你 你被炒了
[05:11] Awful idea. Next. 什么破点子 下一个
[05:12] I think I’ve got an idea. 我有点子了
[05:13] – Go. – He forged his work visa, -说 -这个所谓小炯
[05:15] this “Tim”. 他伪造了工作签证
[05:16] He lied to all of us and the firm, 他对我们 对公司都撒了谎
[05:19] and Omnicorp is absolutely shocked 公司被这个真相
[05:22] and appalled by this news 惊呆了
[05:23] and then just have the son of a bitch deported. 立即把这个小崽子驱逐出境
[05:25] – I love it. – No. -我喜欢 -表
[05:26] I did not think we’d find a solution this quickly. 没想到这么快就找到了解决方案
[05:28] Let’s fast-track that idea. 快点实施吧
[05:29] Somebody call lmmigration now. 快点来个人打给移民局
[05:30] Tim, call lmmigration. 小炯 你打
[05:32] I’d rather not. Let’s keep thinking. 不要这样 还是继续想吧
[05:34] Tim, the deporting idea is great. 小炯 驱逐的点子很好啊
[05:36] – No. – We ship you back to Mexico. -不 -我们把你运回墨西哥
[05:38] The whole thing blows over. We can order lunch. 完事了 我们还有时间点午餐
[05:41] It’s a win-win for everyone. 对大家都好嘛
[05:43] No, it’s win-lose. I lose. 你们爽了 我呢 被抛弃了
[05:45] – We win. – Yeah, let’s just hear everyone out. -我们爽了 -听听大家的意见吧
[05:49] I think we’ve heard it all. 已经听得够多的了
[05:50] Let’s throw it all out. What’s– 别遮遮掩掩 还有
[05:51] – There are no more ideas. – Charlie? -没有别的想法了 -老李
[05:52] – I have an idea. – Oh, boy. -我有个想法 -不是吧
[05:54] – Let him talk. – Okay, just listen to this. -让他说 -听我说
[05:56] – He’s got ideas. – Yeah. -他有点子啊 -好吧
[05:57] – Nobody’s stopping him. – I suppose we could, umm… -没人拦着他 -我提议我们
[06:00] – work our media connections… – That’s great. -可以利用我们的媒体网络 -很好
[06:03] …and we could send him on a cable news show, 把他送到有线电视新闻节目上
[06:05] put a Latino wife by his side 在他旁边摆个拉丁裔老婆
[06:07] and that should convince most people. 这样一来大家都会信了
[06:09] – That’s good. – That could work. -那不错 -行得通诶
[06:11] – Tim… – Yeah? -小炯 -怎么
[06:12] can you find a fake Latino wife 在明晚之前你能找个
[06:14] – by tomorrow night? – Can l? -假冒的拉丁老婆吗 -我吗
[06:15] I can find one or my name is not Tim Sanchez. 我找不到我就不叫炯桑切斯
[06:18] Your name is not Tim Sanchez. 你确实不叫小炯·桑切斯
[06:23] Here goes nothing. 管他的
[06:25] Maria? Hi, it’s Tim. 玛丽亚吗 我是小炯
[06:27] We went to junior high together. 你的初中同学
[06:30] This is going to sound like a slightly strange request, 我有个请求 听上去会有点奇怪
[06:33] but I’m going on a talk show tomorrow night 明晚我要参加一个脱口秀
[06:36] and I need someone to pose as my fake Latino wife. 要找个人假扮我的拉丁裔妻子
[06:40] Maria? 玛丽亚
[06:42] This is surprisingly difficult. 这真心困难啊
[06:44] – If it isn’t my favorite customer. – Oh, Debbie. -这不是我最爱的客人吗 -黛比
[06:48] – Hello. – What are you doing here? -你好啊 -你在干吗
[06:49] – Well, I’m working. – Really? -在工作 -是吗
[06:51] – This is my street. – This is my street too. -这条街归我 -这条街也是我的
[06:54] – I work where you live. – That’s true. -我在你住的地方工作 -没错
[06:57] Do these pants reveal enough of my rear end? 这条裤子的洞开得够大吗
[07:01] I’m going to say yes. 我会说 够了
[07:02] – Ooh, that sounds good. – I can see the whole thing. -不错 -整个屁屁我都看见了
[07:05] – Really? – 90%. -真的吗 -百分之九十
[07:07] Moon’s coming up and everything? 重要部分都露出来了
[07:09] Yeah, that’s more than enough. 是啊 露太多了
[07:12] Oh, hey, what ethnicity are you? 你是什么种族的
[07:14] – I’m a lot of things. – Yeah? -我混好多地方的血统呢 -是吗
[07:15] I’m black and white… 我是黑白混血
[07:18] and I’m from New Jersey– Secaucus. 家在新泽西的西考克斯
[07:22] – Okay. – And also– -明白 -不过
[07:24] Secaucus is not an ethnicity, but you know what? 西考克斯不是个种族 我想说
[07:26] My question is, can you pass for Hispanic? 问题是 你会说西班牙语吗
[07:28] Oh, many people tell me I look like J Lo. 很多人说我像J罗
[07:32] – That’s Jennifer Lopez. – I can see that. -是詹妮弗·洛佩兹啦 -看出来了
[07:35] I’m going on a talk show tomorrow 明晚我要参加一个脱口秀
[07:37] and I just need a fake Latino wife. 需要有人假扮我的拉丁裔妻子
[07:40] – Oh, do you want me? – You’ll be the fake Latino wife. -你要我去吗 -就你来当吧
[07:43] – Oh, my goodness! – That’s great, right? -我的天 -很棒吧
[07:45] – Oh, I’d love to go, Tim. – Nice. -我很愿意 小炯 -太好了
[07:47] Do you have something appropriate you can wear? 你有正常点的衣服吗
[07:50] Oh yes. I’ll just wear my business suit. 有啊 我穿职业装来就好了
[07:54] – Here it is. – That’s the– that’s the business suit? -就是这套 -这就是你的职业装吗
[07:57] – Oh, I love it. – It’s assless. -我爱死这套了 -屁屁都露出来了
[08:00] – Yes, it has no ass. – I wish it did, to be perfectly honest. -对 露的 -说实话 不露的好
[08:04] Oh, I thought that was the best part. Surprise. 我以为这是亮点 给你个惊喜
[08:07] It’s a nice surprise. I just don’t think 不错的惊喜 但我们
[08:09] we can go on the show like this. 不能就这样参加节目吧
[08:10] Okey-doke. Mr. And Mrs. Sanchez, 好了 桑切斯夫妇
[08:12] we are ready for your segment. It is go time. 你们要准备上场了 时间到了
[08:15] – Oh oh oh! Let’s go. – It’s go time. -哦 咱们走吧 -时间到了
[08:16] Big smiles. Big smiles. 笑容 笑容
[08:19] Welcome back to “Donny Deutsch and the Big ldea.” 欢迎回到《多尼·多伊奇与奇思妙想》
[08:21] I’m here with Tim Sanchez. 我身边这位是小炯·桑切斯
[08:23] You’re one of the most successful 作为全美公司中
[08:25] and influential Latino businessmen 最成功 最具影响力之一的拉丁裔商人
[08:27] in corporate America. What is your secret, Tim? 你的秘诀是什么呢 小炯
[08:30] Well, Donny, as you may have heard 多尼 可能你已经知道
[08:32] my English is not very strong… 我的英语不太好
[08:35] and my Spanish is not strong either. 我的西班牙语也不太好
[08:37] – Wow. – I don’t speak either language -哇 -所有语言我都说得
[08:40] – particularly well. – That’s the secret to success? -不太好 -这是成功的诀窍吗
[08:43] I’m a simple man from the hills of Mexico, 我就是个从墨西哥山村来的的普通人
[08:45] and I just hopped the fence 只是跨过边线
[08:49] and ran up to New York. 跑到纽约来了
[08:51] – Okay. – Now I’m the VP of Sales… -好吧 -现在我是销售部副总
[08:53] – For a Fortune 500 company. -…at a major corporation. -在世界500强 -在个大公司任职
[08:56] I’d have to say the real reason 我要说的是 我成功的关键
[08:58] for my success is this woman, 是这位女士
[09:00] my Hispanic wife right here. 我的拉丁裔妻子
[09:03] – Hello. – We met in a– -大家好 -我们是在
[09:06] – In a cantina. – –in a cantina. -酒吧认识的 -酒吧认识的
[09:08] – Good memories. – Mrs. Sanchez. -美好的回忆 -桑切斯女士
[09:10] Hello. 你好
[09:11] Any thoughts on your husband’s success? 你对丈夫的成功有什么看法吗
[09:15] Well, it’s like they say: 就像大家说的
[09:17] Behind every great man is a great woman. 每个成功男人的背后都有一个伟大的女人
[09:20] – Oh, that is so true, Mrs. Sanchez. – They do say that. -太对了 桑切斯女士 -确实是
[09:23] And Donny, behind every great woman 多尼 每个成功女人的背后
[09:25] is a great behind. Check this out. 都有一个伟大的屁股 看这个
[09:29] That’s a big idea. 够奇思妙想吧
[09:31] We’re gonna– we’re gonna go to a break. 我们 我们进一段广告
[09:33] It looks like I’m smuggling midgets. Go ahead, Donny, slap it. 我像在走私矮人 来吧多尼 打一下
[09:37] – I’d rather not. – He doesn’t want to slap it. -还是不用了 -他不想打
[09:38] – We’ll be right back – Go ahead, slap it. -稍后回到 -打一下嘛
[09:39] on “Donny Deutsch and the Big ldea.” 《多尼·多伊奇与奇思妙想》
[09:41] Please put that away, Mrs. Sanchez. 请把那话儿收起来 桑切斯女士
[09:47] – Tim. – Hey. -小炯 -嘿
[09:49] Yeah, hey. We saw your performance last night. 嘿 我们看了你昨晚的节目
[09:53] – What did you think? – “Donny Deutsch” Has been canceled. -怎么样 -多尼·多伊奇被停播了
[09:57] – They canceled the show? – The FCC came down extremely hard. -被禁播了 -通信委员会来势汹汹
[10:00] – Why, because of the ass? – What do you think? -为什么 因为屁股吗 -你觉得呢
[10:04] I told her. Yeah. I was kind of surprised she wore that. 我跟她说了 穿成那样我都吓了一跳
[10:06] Well, the irony is it worked out for us. 讽刺的是 这却帮了我们一把
[10:09] Your wife was a huge hit. 你老婆太成功了
[10:11] – Really? – Go ahead, research guy. -是吗 -继续 做过调查的
[10:12] Well, let me lay it out this way. 这么说吧
[10:14] Hispanic women love her. 拉丁裔女性爱死她了
[10:16] We’ve never had a market share like that. 我们从未有过那么大的市场份额
[10:18] – Really? – Yeah! -是吗 -没错
[10:19] Just because of the naked ass? 就因为光光的屁股
[10:21] Yes, we’re just doing cartwheels here. 是啊 我们高兴得在侧手翻呢
[10:23] Right. And you, Tim– 是的 至于你 小炯
[10:24] –you have become a tremendous role model. 你已成为一个超级偶像
[10:27] – A role model? – A role model for kids who can’t speak -偶像 -是不会说英语的
[10:30] English and have no desire to learn the language. 也没兴趣学英语的孩子的偶像
[10:33] You have shown them how to reach for their dreams. 你向他们展示了如何追寻自己的梦想
[10:36] That’s great. That’s really worked out. 真不错 很有效
[10:38] I’m still the VP of North American Sales. 我还是北美销售部副总吗
[10:40] No, we’re promoting you again. 不 我们要再提携你
[10:42] – This is amazing. – You’re the VP of lnternational Sales. -太棒了 -你现在是国际销售部副总
[10:46] That’s crazy. What– am I even qualified? 太疯狂了吧 我能行吗
[10:49] – What do I do day to day in that role? – Qualified. -在这职位我每天都做什么呢 -能行的
[10:51] You are qualified right now 你现在不是就
[10:53] just by being the Mexican beauty you are. 扮墨西哥美男扮的很好嘛
[10:55] I just keep doing that for the indefinite future? 我要无止境地做这个吗
[10:58] And you’ll do well at this firm. 你会大有作为的
[11:01] Tim, I want to make a toast. 小炯 我要敬你一杯
[11:03] – Okay. – Two promotions in two days. -好 -两天升职两次
[11:06] – Crazy. – It’s– it’s amazing. -太疯狂了 -是挺赞的
[11:08] The VP of lnternational Sales. Who would’ve guessed? 国际销售部副总 谁想得到呢
[11:11] – I’m really proud of you. – Thank you very much. This is– -我真为你骄傲 -非常感谢
[11:13] Mr. Sanchez? 桑切斯先生
[11:15] – Mr. Tim Sanchez? – What? -桑切斯先生 -怎么了
[11:18] – No. No. – Tim. Tim Sanchez. -不是 不是 -小炯 小炯·桑切斯
[11:19] No, keep moving. 不是 快走吧
[11:21] I think you have the wrong– 我想你认错人了
[11:22] – We saw you on TV… – Oh, yes. -我们在电视上看见你了 -是的
[11:24] -…with your lovely wife. – Oh, that wife. -还有你可爱的妻子 -那个妻子
[11:26] – What? – So who is this whore? -什么 -这贱人是谁
[11:28] – This whore? – I’m his girlfriend. -贱人 -我是他女朋友
[11:30] – No, you a filthy whore. – No, she’s not filthy. -不 你个下流的贱货 -她不下流
[11:32] – Tim, what’s going on? – We saw the wife. -小炯 咋了 -我们见到他妻子了
[11:34] – You are white girl. – This is an outrage. -你是白人 -太让人愤慨了
[11:36] As soon as you succeed, 成功之后
[11:38] you take up a dirty white mistress. 你立马就找了个肮脏的白人小三
[11:40] Typical. 很典型
[11:41] – I spit on you. – No. -啐你一口 -别
[11:44] Tim! 小炯
[11:44] – What happened here? – I spit on her again, yes? -出什么事了 -要再她啐一口吗
[11:47] – Yes. – No! -要 -不
[11:49] – I’m going to be sick. – I should interject at this point. -我要发火了 -我得插一句
[11:51] You think? 不然呢
[11:53] I will send this photo to the newspapers 我会把这照片发给报社
[11:55] and show the true Tim Sanchez. 向世界揭露真正的小炯·桑切斯
[11:57] – Okay. – You disgust me. -好吧 -你让我直犯恶心
[12:00] – I’m sorry. – And you, you should be ashamed. -抱歉 -你该感到羞愧
[12:08] – Tim Sanchez? – You know what, Amy? -小炯·桑切斯 -你知道吗 小美
[12:12] Let’s just forget that even happened. 让我们就假装什么都没发生过吧
[12:14] – Yeah, not gonna happen. – Let’s enjoy our meal. -不可能 -咱们继续吃饭吧
[12:15] No, I’m done. 别闹了 再见
[12:22] Wow. It’s not easy being 现在这种年代
[12:25] a successful Latino businessman these days, 当个成功的拉丁商人真不容易
[12:27] – you know? – Tell me something I don’t know, man. -你懂吗 -说点我不懂的
[12:48] So, Timothy, how are you connected to this whole shindig here? 小炯 你怎么也来这聚会了
[12:52] – This shindig? The wedding? – Mm-hmm. Yeah. -聚会 你是说婚礼吧 -对
[12:54] I’m Amy’s boyfriend. Her sister’s the bride. 我是小美的男友 她姐姐就是新娘
[12:57] Oh. Oh, that’s wonderful. 真不错
[12:59] – It’s nice. – That’s fantastic. -是啊 -真棒
[13:01] – Yeah. – Listen, Tim. -对啊 -听着小炯
[13:04] I’m a very unconventional priest. 我是个不走寻常路的牧师
[13:06] – Really? – I like to have a little fun -真的吗 -我想在婚礼上
[13:08] with the ceremony, is all I’m saying. 给大家找点乐子
[13:10] – Fun? – Just a little joke, maybe. -找乐子 -比如开个玩笑什么的
[13:12] Okay, where you going with that? 行啊 你想怎么开
[13:14] When I ask if there are any objections, 当我问 “有反对吗”时
[13:16] all right, I want you to stand and I want you to shout– 我希望你能站起来并喊
[13:19] – I don’t like where this is going. – You’re gonna love it. -我有一种不祥的预感 -你会喜欢的
[13:21] I want you to stand and I want you to shout 我希望你能站起来并喊
[13:24] “Hells yeah, I object. That woman is my biatch.” “尼玛 我反对 这婊子是我的”
[13:29] -Excuse me? – You’d call her a biatch. – No. -你说什么 -你要说”婊子” -不
[13:31] – Why not? – I wouldn’t call her that -为什么 -就算今天不是婚礼日
[13:34] on a non-wedding day. 我也不会这么叫她
[13:35] – Well, it’s funny. – No, that’s not. -好吧 这很有趣 -一点也不有趣
[13:37] – It would get a big laugh, Tim. – Amy won’t laugh. -大家都会笑的小炯 -小美肯定不会
[13:40] – You don’t think? – I can promise you that. -难道不是吗 -我可不能保证
[13:42] – I’ll tell you who will laugh, Tim. – Who’s that? -让我来告诉你谁会笑吧 -谁
[13:44] – The Lord. – The Lord? -上帝会笑 -上帝
[13:47] – Make the Lord laugh. – I don’t want to make Him laugh today. -让上帝笑 -我可不想今天让他笑
[13:49] – Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. – Not today. -你想让他笑 -今天就算了吧
[13:50] – He’s not in the mood. – He’ll get a big kick out of it, Tim. -今天他没那心情 -他会笑疯的 小炯
[13:53] Trust me. He’ll be pissing in His Lord pants 相信我 他会在他的王座上
[13:55] – right up there on His throne. – You think? -笑尿的 -你这么觉得
[13:57] He might. He might crap. 当然了 他搞不好还会拉在裤子里呢
[14:01] – You are a modern priest. – I really am. -你真是个不走寻常路的牧师 -可不是吗
[14:04] And so I ask, does anyone here object 在这儿的诸位
[14:07] to the holy union of these two children of God 有人反对这两位上帝之子
[14:11] as they stand before us proclaiming their love? 在我们面前订下神圣的爱的契约的吗
[14:16] I do. 我
[14:18] What’s this? Tim? 小炯 这是什么情况
[14:20] Uh, hells yeah, 呃 尼玛
[14:22] I– I object. 我 我反对
[14:25] That, uh, woman’s my biatch. 这个 呃 这个婊子是我的
[14:29] My– I forget the line. 我的 我忘词了
[14:33] Wow. I’m gonna sit. 我还是坐下来吧
[14:40] You thought it would get a laugh? 你以为这会博大家一笑
[14:43] I had my doubts. 我也怀疑过啊
[14:44] The priest– it was his comedy. 但是这是牧师说的
[14:46] Tim, now my parents have met you twice. 小炯 我爸妈一共见过你两次
[14:49] First time, 第一次
[14:50] – prostitute in our apartment. – Yeah. -有个妓女在我们家里 -对
[14:51] Now you object to their daughter’s wedding? 然后现在你又反对他们女儿的婚礼
[14:54] I’m not batting 1,000. I’ll admit to that. 我又不会次次都这样 我承认
[14:57] There he is. There’s the comedian. 就是他 那个搞笑的人
[14:59] Listen. Can I just apologize? 听着 我能道个歉走人吗
[15:01] Mm-hmm, Jimmy Durante himself. 你就是吉米·杜兰特再世啊
[15:04] – Who? – Mr. Alan King in the flesh. -谁 -阿兰·金本人出现
[15:08] I don’t know these references. 我都不知道这些人是谁
[15:10] I get the gist of where you’re going with it. 不过我大概知道是什么方面的
[15:12] – I know it’s a put-down. – I’m watching you. -我知道你在奚落我 -你被盯上了
[15:14] I just don’t know who Alan King is. 我不过就是不知道阿兰·金是谁罢了
[15:21] I’m gonna have the lightest beer you have. 我要一瓶度数最低的啤酒
[15:23] And Father, you don’t drink, do you? 神父 你不喝酒吧
[15:26] Me? No. No, son, I don’t allow Satan’s juice to pass my lips. 我 不 我绝不会饮撒旦的邪恶之水的
[15:29] – That’s smart. – But what the hey! -好吧 -不过等等
[15:31] Get me a Johnny Walker Black on the rocks 我要一杯加冰的尊荣黑牌
[15:34] with a double Johnny Walker Blue on the side, 外加两杯尊荣蓝牌威士忌
[15:36] and don’t skimp on the Johnny. 不要舍不得尊荣
[15:39] You’re gonna try the Johnny. 你要喝尊荣
[15:41] – You know, Tim, I like you. – Yeah? That’s good. -小炯 我喜欢你 -不错啊
[15:44] – You’re a funny guy. – Thanks. -你是个幽默的人 -谢谢
[15:46] Nice girlfriend. 女友很不错啊
[15:46] Looks so sexy in that little bridesmaid’s outfit. 在伴娘装里太性感了
[15:50] – What? – Look at her work that fanny. -什么 -看她的屁股
[15:54] – A gift from God. – Excuse me? -主之恩赐 -什么
[15:56] What does a woman’s body feel like, Tim? 女人的身体摸起来怎么样 小炯
[16:00] – Is it soft? – Yeah, it’s pretty soft. -软吗 -对 很软
[16:04] – Mmm. – This is a weird conversation. -这样啊 -这段对话真奇葩
[16:05] – You feel like it’s weird? – A little bit. -你觉得谈话很奇葩 -有点
[16:07] I’m just saying that I envy you, Tim. That’s all. 小炯 我只不过想说我羡慕你罢了
[16:09] – You envy me? – I want your life. -你羡慕我 -我也想和你一样生活
[16:11] No. Your joke has me in big trouble. 不 你的笑话给我带来了大麻烦
[16:13] – With who? – With everybody at the wedding. -来自谁的麻烦 -参加婚礼的所有人
[16:16] – Oh, relax, Tim. – Amy’s parents. -小炯 放轻松 -小美的父母
[16:18] No, I’ll put in a good word for you, Tim. 不 我会帮你说好话的小炯
[16:22] – You’ll put in a good word? – Absolutely. -你会帮我说好话 -绝对的
[16:24] – Thank you. – You’re welcome. -谢了 -没事
[16:26] – You saved the day. – Mm-mmm-mmm. -你拯救了我 -呵呵
[16:29] – That fanny just doesn’t quit, does it? – It really doesn’t. -那屁股太性感了 是吧 -可不是吗
[16:37] Listen, I know you’re upset with me, 听着 我知道你们对我很失望
[16:38] but the priest wants to just have a little sit-down with you. 但牧师想和你们谈谈
[16:42] – With me? – A little one on one. -和我谈 -一个个来
[16:44] He wants to vouch for my character 他愿为我的人格担保
[16:46] and tell you what a good guy I am. 并告诉你们 我是个好人
[16:49] Well, Timothy, I’m a fair man. 小炯 我是个公平的人
[16:51] I look forward to what he has to say. 我很期待他要讲的话
[16:53] Great. Let me know how it goes. 很好 讲完了和我说一声
[16:55] Okay, party people, listen up. 好了派对动物们 听着
[16:58] – That’s not good. – I want to say a few words right now. -情况不对 -我要说几句
[17:01] Not about the newlyweds– blah blah blah– 不是对新婚夫妇说的那种陈词滥调
[17:05] but about my new buddy… Timbo. 而是关于我的新朋友 小炯的
[17:08] Timarino. Tim-a-lim-a-ding-dong. 小炯 囧炯迥窘
[17:13] Come on, Tim, you know who you are. Stand up. 来啊小炯 快站起来
[17:16] Okay, so Tim told an off-color joke. 小炯不过就是说了个过时的笑话罢了
[17:19] What’s the big whoop? 有毛关系啊
[17:21] He’s an upstanding man. 他是个好人
[17:23] Over at the bar, Tim was teaching me 刚才在酒吧那里 小炯教了我
[17:25] to drink a Johnny Walker Black. 怎么喝尊荣黑牌
[17:27] I believe it’s a whiskey. 那是威士忌吧
[17:28] He explained what it feels like to touch a woman 他还解释了裸女摸起来
[17:31] who’s wearing no clothes, 感觉怎么样
[17:33] and I’ll be damned if that doesn’t sound like some fun. 听起来真是太爽了
[17:36] Boobs in your hand. Naked boobs. 胸器就在你手里啊 裸胸啊
[17:39] Anyway, long story short– 好吧 长话短说
[17:41] I’m leaving the priesthood, pronto! 我将马上退出牧师的职业
[17:43] Thank you, Tim, for showing me the way 谢谢你小炯 为我指出了
[17:46] and the light and the truth. I love you, Tim. 光明和真理的道路 我爱你小炯
[17:50] – What have you done? – Oh, and real quick– -你做了什么 -补充一句
[17:52] since I quit the priesthood today, 既然我今天起不再当牧师了
[17:54] the wedding technically doesn’t count. 这场婚礼理论上就等于没开
[17:57] My bad. 我的错
[18:01] – Tim. – Yeah? -小炯 -怎么
[18:02] My parents are furious. 我爸妈气疯了
[18:03] – What? – My sister’s in tears. -什么 -我姐姐都哭了
[18:05] – This is a mess. – Why, because the priest quit his job? -真是一团糟 -就因为牧师辞职了
[18:09] He’s drunk. Look at him. 他喝醉了 看
[18:14] I can’t control his drinking habits. 我可不能控制他的酒量
[18:16] You need to go talk to him and you need to fix this. 你得和他谈谈 搞定一切
[18:18] All right, I’m on it. I’m gonna go talk to the priest. 好吧 包在我身上 我去和他讲
[18:21] Now. 现在就去
[18:23] You don’t feel like dancing, do you? 你想跳舞吗
[18:24] I can’t– this is a bad time to ask, right? 我不能 我问错时间了是吧
[18:34] Oh, I’ve got a confession for you, foxy lady. 我得和你坦白 性感女郎
[18:38] I thinks you’re a foxy lady. 你真性感
[18:41] – Hey, there’s my buddy Timbo. – Hey. -这不是我的小炯吗 -嗨
[18:45] What’s up, sweet Timbarino? 怎么了 炯炯小甜心
[18:47] Father, I’m in big trouble here with Amy’s parents. 神父 我在小美父母那里有大麻烦了
[18:49] – You want my advice? – No, I did not come for advice. -你想我给你建议 -我不是来求建议的
[18:53] – Two words, Tim– – Yeah? -两个词 -什么
[18:54] – –body shots. – Body shots? -饮人酒 -饮人酒
[18:57] Go rub some salt on Amy’s mother’s neck 在小美她妈脖子上撒点盐
[18:59] and start licking her neck. Then you eat half a lime 然后舔掉 再吃半个柠檬
[19:02] and spit the seeds into her mouth, Tim. 把核吐在她脸上 小炯
[19:04] – You think that’ll fix it? – I don’t know. -你认为这样就行了 -不知道
[19:06] – Sounds like fun. – Not good advice. -但是听起来很有趣 -不行
[19:08] Tim, does whiskey have alcohol in it? 小炯 威士忌里有酒精吗
[19:10] Because I’m beginning to feel a bit tipsy. 因为我好像有点醉了
[19:12] – Are you joking? – Nope. -你在开玩笑吧 -没
[19:14] This isn’t going to end well, Timbo. 肯定不会圆满收场的 小炯
[19:16] This is not gonna end well. 不会圆满的
[19:20] I think the priest is drunk. 我觉得牧师应该是喝醉了
[19:21] Ah. He’ll be fine. 是啊 他会好起来的
[19:22] Listen, I don’t mean to eavesdrop or anything, 我不想说我窃听过别人
[19:24] but I’ve been to a lot of weddings. 但我还真去过不少婚礼
[19:26] – Yeah? – Go talk to the grandmother. -然后呢 -和外婆聊
[19:28] – Why? – She’s the elder statesman -为啥 -她是年长的掌权人
[19:30] in the family. If you get in good with her, 如果你能和她们处好的话
[19:32] – everybody will love you. – That’s actually great advice. -大家就都会喜欢你 -不错嘛
[19:45] Excuse me, I don’t think we’ve met. 不好意思 我们见过吗
[19:47] – Oh. – Are you Amy’s sister? -你是谁 -你是小美的姐姐吗
[19:49] – Oh, you! – Are you one of her sorority sisters? -你说什么 -你是她的表姐吗
[19:52] – You stop being silly now. – Silly? -别闹了 -什么
[19:54] You’re a sweet thing, but I’m Amy’s grandmother. 话说的真好 不过我是小美她外婆
[19:57] – No. – Yes. -不会吧 -我就是
[19:58] That’s crazy talk. You’re not older than Amy. 太疯狂了 你又比小美大不了几岁
[20:00] You are really being silly now. I’m 82. 你现在真的在犯二 我今年82了
[20:04] Please, you look like you’re… 11. 真的假的 你看起来才11岁
[20:08] You look like a beautiful, 你看起来就像是个美丽的
[20:09] well-endowed 11-year-old girl. 天资聪颖的11岁神童
[20:11] You know, Timothy, it’s awfully warm in here. 你知道吗小炯 这里真的很热
[20:14] Would you be so kind as 你能帮我个忙吗
[20:15] to just wheel me outside for a little air? 把我推出去吸吸新鲜空气
[20:18] All right, let’s do it. 行吧 就这样
[20:19] Let’s wheel you outside. 让我把你推出去
[20:21] Hold on– hold on tight. 等等 等等
[20:24] Whoa. Have you met, Timothy? 天哪 小炯 你们认识过了吗
[20:27] – He’s positively charming. – Oh, please. -他真好 -哦 别这样
[20:29] While everyone else was off dancing, 别人都在跳舞的时候
[20:31] he took the time to talk to me 他跑过来和我聊天
[20:34] because he knows I can’t dance. 因为他知道我不会跳舞
[20:37] That was, uh, very thoughtful, Timothy. 小炯 考虑真周全
[20:39] Yes, it’s… very sweet. 是的 很不错
[20:41] It was thoughtful and sweet. And now, if you’ll excuse us, 发人深省又甜蜜 现在 如果方便
[20:45] I’m going to continue wheeling your mother around the premises 我会推着你的妈妈转一转
[20:49] – and show her a good time. – Mm-hmm. -让她享受一下 -不错
[20:52] Good evening. 晚安
[20:55] Maybe we misjudged him. 也许我们错看他了
[20:57] He does seem like an awfully nice kid, I guess. 他看起来的确是个好孩子
[21:04] – Oh, Timothy. – Yeah? -小炯 -嗯
[21:06] – You remind me of my first husband. – Really? That’s nice. -你让我想起了我的第一任丈夫 -不错啊
[21:10] We met at this very hotel in 1942. 1942年我们就是在这里遇见的
[21:15] Wow, that must be a very special memory. 那一定是段美好的回忆
[21:18] It was a clear night, just like this one. 那天空气很好 就像今天一样
[21:22] Wow, and you met your husband. That’s great. 然后你就遇到了你的先生 多好
[21:25] Mmm, it was the first time 那可是头一次
[21:27] a man’s hand ever touched my boobs. 有男人摸我胸啊
[21:31] – What? – I said it was the first time -什么 -我说 那可是头一次
[21:34] my boob was in a man’s hand. 有男人摸我的胸
[21:38] Story took a weird turn. 又开始奇奇怪怪了
[21:40] Oh, Timothy, help me relive that magic night. 小炯 帮我寻回那奇妙之夜吧
[21:43] – No. No. – Go, squeeze my boobs… -不不不 -捏我的胸
[21:47] – No, please. -…just like my handsome husband did -别这样 -就和我的英俊丈夫
[21:49] – in 1942. – I’m sure he squeezed them, -在1942年一样 -他肯定捏了
[21:52] but you’ve gotta leave the past behind. 但你得让过去随风而逝
[21:54] Stop being a pansy and just do it. 别娘娘腔了 快动手
[21:57] Okay, we’re doing this over the blouse, right? 好吧 隔着衣服摸是吧
[22:01] – Yes. – Okay, here it comes. -对 -好吧 我来了
[22:04] – Mmm. – How’s that? -真爽 -怎么样
[22:06] – Oh! – Is that doing it for you? -哦 -不错吧
[22:08] – Keep squeezing. Don’t– – All right. -继续挤 别 -好
[22:11] – Don’t stop. – Just keep– -别停下来 -请
[22:12] – keep the volume down. – That’s just– -请小声一点 -真棒
[22:14] – That’s it. – Oh, it reminds me of that night. -好吧 -让我回想起了那一晚
[22:18] That’s a little loud. That’s a little loud. 你喊得有点响 真有点响
[22:21] – Oh! Oh! – This may be a weird time to say it, -真爽 -现在说这个可能有点不合适
[22:25] but… they’re not bad. 但是 捏起来感觉还不错
[22:28] These– these have held up. 一直保持坚挺
[22:30] 1942, I can’t even imagine. 1942年 难以想象
[22:33] – Oh. – These things must’ve been sick. -太爽了 -这些乳房都该老了
[22:35] – Oh. Oh, yes. – You know, -继续 -我说
[22:39] I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little aroused 如果我说自己没有性起的话
[22:42] in a weird– very weird kind of way. 就太假了 虽然这种感觉很奇怪
[22:45] – Jumping Jehoshaphat! – Tim! -我的上帝啊 -小炯
[22:48] – What are you doing? – We’re– we’re reminiscing. -你在干什么 -我们在 我们在怀旧
[22:50] Timothy, she’s asleep. 小炯 她都睡着了
[22:53] She was not asleep a minute ago. 一分钟前还没睡呢
[22:56] Trust me, she could not have been less asleep. 相信我 她真的没睡着
[22:58] Come on, Grandma, wake up. It’s Tim. 外婆 快起来 我是小炯
[23:01] – Stop it. – Tim! -停下来 -小炯
[23:01] – It’s Tim. – Timothy, stop it. -我是小炯 -快停下来
[23:03] Just remove the chair. 快把她推走
[23:04] I think you’ve done enoughfor one evening. 今晚你的所作所为已经够了
[23:06] – Stop right there. – All right. -快停下来 -好吧
[23:08] – Honey. – It’s your mother. -宝贝 -她是你妈啊
[23:13] I’ve got to apologize for that one. 我得向你道歉
[23:15] – I can’t believe you. – I wanted your parents to like me. -真不敢相信 -我想让你父母喜欢我
[23:19] So you wheeled my grandmother outside 然后你就把我外婆推出来
[23:21] and squeezed her left boob? 开始捏她的左胸
[23:23] – l– – Who are you? -我 -你到底是谁
[23:25] I’m not the guy that squeezes old ladies’ boobs. 我可不是那种捏老人胸的变态
[23:27] – Yes, you are. I saw it. – No, that’s not who I am. -你就是 我看到了 -不 不是
[23:30] I don’t want to be remembered that way. 我可不想这么被记住
[23:31] Too late. 太迟了
[23:33] You know, I should never have objected to the wedding. 我根本就不该来参加婚礼的
[23:37] Once you do that… 一旦你来了
[23:39] the day can get away from you pretty fast. 美好的生活就迅速离你远去了
[23:43] *These shabby shoes I’m wearing all the time* *麻衣破鞋伴着我*
[23:47] *is full of holes and nails* *走过风雨许多年*
[23:51] *and, brother, if I stepped on a worn-out dime* *倘若踩到五角币*
[23:55] *I bet a nickel I could tell you if it was heads or tails. * *五分赌它正或反*
[24:00] *I’m not gonna worry wrinkles in my brow* *满脸褶子不用愁*
[24:04] *’cause nothing’s ever gonna be all right nohow. * *天掉馅饼是空想*
[24:08] *No matter how I struggle and strive* *发愤努力白劳碌*
[24:12] *I’ll never get out of this world alive. * *老天从来不赏光*
囧男窘事

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囧男窘事(The Life & Times of Tim)剧集台词目录:

在线阅读
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10

在线阅读
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
S02E04
S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S02E09
S02E10

在线阅读
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
S03E07
S03E08
S03E09
S03E10

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