| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:10] | *Now you’re looking at a man that’s getting kinda mad.* | *小炯最近很抓狂* |
| [00:15] | *I had lots of luck but it’s all been bad* | *天天霉运一箩筐* |
| [00:19] | *No matter how I struggle and strive,* | *发奋努力白劳碌* |
| [00:23] | *I’ll never get out of this world alive* | *老天从来不赏光* |
| [00:33] | Where do you want to go for lunch? | 中午去哪吃 |
| [00:36] | My name is Stu. Yours is Tim. | 我叫司徒 你叫小炯 |
| [00:39] | What do you want for lunch? | 你午饭吃啥 |
| [00:40] | Now don’t bug me now. My computer’s going nuts. | 先别烦我 我电脑出问题了 |
| [00:43] | Don’t bug you now? What could be more important | 先别烦你 还有啥比想着午饭吃啥 |
| [00:45] | than thinking about what we’re doing for lunch? | 更重要的呢 |
| [00:46] | Come on! Do it! | 给个反应啊 |
| [00:48] | Come on! It’s not working. This H– | 兄弟 不顶用了 H键 |
| [00:51] | the H is going berserk. | H键发飙了 |
| [00:52] | Step aside. Let the doctor take a look. | 一边去 让咱医生看看 |
| [00:55] | All right, just don’t mess anything up; | 好吧 别给我乱整啊 |
| [00:57] | – don’t change any of the settings. – No, | -啥设置也别改 -不会的 |
| [00:58] | I’m not gonna change any settings. | 我不改设置 |
| [00:59] | This happened to me once, okay? | 我也碰着过这种情况 好吧 |
| [01:01] | What you have to do– and I know this is gonna sound crazy– | 虽然我知道听着很扯淡 但你要照做 |
| [01:04] | but you have to spill coffee on the keyboard. | 把咖啡洒在键盘上 |
| [01:07] | – No no no– stop! – I can’t explain why, | -别别 停 -我也解释不清 |
| [01:08] | but it worked for me. Just trust me on this. | 不过我那次是顶用了 你就信我吧 |
| [01:14] | Okay, you said “Stop” Too late. | 好吧 你那停说晚了 |
| [01:16] | – It’s my fault. – That is your fault. | -倒成我的错了 -必须是 |
| [01:18] | You just poured coffee on my computer. | 你竟然往我键盘上洒咖啡 |
| [01:20] | I like to think that l tried to pour a solution | 我反而觉着我是为你的困境 |
| [01:23] | – on your problem. – Okay. | -试着提供解决方案 -行吧 |
| [01:25] | – I’m gonna take this to the IT guy. – Theo? | -我还是拿去给IT技术员吧 -西奥吗 |
| [01:27] | That dude is angry. | 那家伙火大着呢 |
| [01:30] | No, you just gotta know how to talk to these guys. | 没有吧 你得会和他们沟通 |
| [01:32] | – Ahh… – You gotta be firm. | -这个 -你得强势点 |
| [01:33] | You gotta have a firm hand with them. | 跟他们打交道 你得强势点 |
| [01:34] | This is the way “Mississippi Burning” Started. | 《烈血大风暴》就是这么开头的 |
| [01:38] | Hey. | 嗨 |
| [01:40] | You’re, uh… excuse me? | 你是 打扰一下 |
| [01:43] | – What– what up? – “What up”? | -怎么的 -怎么的 |
| [01:46] | Uh, hey, I’m Tim. Listen… | 嗨 我叫小炯 是这样 |
| [01:47] | my computer is making a weird beeping sound. | 我电脑在发出一种奇怪的嘟嘟声 |
| [01:50] | – If you could just… – You’re Tim. | -你能不能 -你叫小炯 |
| [01:51] | -…take a look. – Your computer is beeping. | -帮我看看 -你电脑嘟嘟的 |
| [01:56] | That’s what I said to you. | 对 我是这么跟你说的 |
| [01:58] | Now you have to answer the question. | 现在你得回答我的问题 |
| [02:00] | Why are you telling me this? | 你跟我说这干吗 |
| [02:02] | Why? Because you’re– you’re the IT guy. | 干吗 因为 因为你是搞IT的啊 |
| [02:05] | I’m the IT guy? | 我是搞IT的 |
| [02:07] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [02:08] | Right? So I’m gonna swing on back later. | 对吧 那我待会再过来了 |
| [02:11] | – Okay… – I’m gonna leave the laptop. | -这个 -把电脑先放这了 |
| [02:12] | -…I am Internet Technology. – Oh, man. | -我干的是网络技术 -不是吧 |
| [02:16] | Napir is Information Technology. | 奈培是搞信息技术的 |
| [02:20] | Oooooh! Look at your face. | 看你那样 |
| [02:22] | I bet you feel stupid. | 囧了吧 |
| [02:24] | Not really. Internet Technology is still IT. | 有什么 网络技术不还是IT |
| [02:28] | It’s– just fix it. Just fix it. | 别说别的了 帮我修就行 |
| [02:30] | You know what? I don’t want to get into it. | 我说 我们就别纠结这个了 |
| [02:31] | Just take a look. I’ll wait out here and get a coffee. | 帮我看看呗 我就边喝咖啡边等着 |
| [02:35] | Are you trying to piss me off? | 你想惹毛我呢是不 |
| [02:37] | Who are you, bro? | 你谁啊你 老兄 |
| [02:39] | Honestly, you come walking up into my space– | 说真的 你就这么走进我的地盘 |
| [02:42] | It’s a shared space. | 这是共享空间吧 |
| [02:43] | Technically, it is a shared space. | 技术上讲 是共享空间 |
| [02:45] | Can you please just– | 你能不能就 |
| [02:46] | Did you see that “Brady Bunch” episode | 你看过有集《布雷迪家庭》吗 |
| [02:47] | where they put the tape down the room? | 那里面他们把磁带放在房间里 |
| [02:49] | This is my side. | 意思是这面都是我的 |
| [02:51] | Listen, I’m gonna leave the laptop. | 真的 我把电脑放下了 |
| [02:53] | If you could take a look, make the beep go away. | 帮忙看下 别让它响了 我谢过了 |
| [02:55] | Oh, yeah, no, it’ll go away. | 相当的 会不响的 |
| [02:56] | I’ll swing back after lunch. | 我吃完午饭再过来 |
| [02:57] | – Swing back. – Swing on back, bro. | -过来吧 -欢迎你过来 哥们 |
| [02:59] | Anything else? Maybe we’ll pick up some groceries for you. | 还有吗 要不我们给你买点吃的 |
| [03:01] | Do you have any dry cleaning? | 你有衣服要干洗吗 |
| [03:03] | This is a lot of attitude | 一个修电脑的 |
| [03:04] | for the guys who fix the computers, isn’t it? | 怨言还挺多啊 |
| [03:07] | – Fix? – And we’re back to problem one. | -修电脑的 -好 又回到第一个问题了 |
| [03:11] | Oh, boy. | 我的天 |
| [03:13] | – How’s it going, Stu? – Coffee and a bagel. | -你吃的啥 司徒 -咖啡和面包圈 |
| [03:16] | – There you go. – That’s the way to start a day. | -不错 -这样才算是一天的好开端咩 |
| [03:17] | – Nice. – So how’d it go with Theo? | -挺好 -你和西奥咋样 |
| [03:19] | – Ah, fine. – Really? | -还行 -真的 |
| [03:21] | Tried to give me some attitude. I said, | 他想和我闹意见 我就说 |
| [03:23] | “You know what? | 不是吧 |
| [03:24] | I’m Tim. You’re the IT guy. | 我是小炯 你是搞IT的 |
| [03:27] | Shut your mouth and fix the computer.” | 所以给我闭嘴 干好本职工作 |
| [03:29] | – Holy cow. – Not in so many words. | -额滴个神 -不过没说这么多 |
| [03:31] | I don’t think I was quite | 我在那边的时候 |
| [03:31] | that confident when I was in there, but… | 没这么有胆 不过 |
| [03:33] | – Tim, I’m impressed. – Honestly, | -小炯 你太强悍了 -说真的 |
| [03:35] | people know better than to mess with me. | 谁和我找茬 谁是吃饱了撑的 |
| [03:37] | – Do they? – They can sense the inner… | -是吗 -他们能感觉到 |
| [03:39] | rage. They don’t want to taste it. | 我内心的愤怒 可别激怒我 |
| [03:41] | – Mad dog’s back. – Yeah, they don’t want to taste… | -疯狗爷回来了 -对 他们可不想尝 |
| [03:44] | They don’t want to taste the wrath of your poison. | 不想激怒你 招来灾祸 |
| [03:47] | Timbo, dude, you gotta come upstairs with me now. | 小炯炯 哥们 快跟我上趟楼 |
| [03:50] | – Me? Nah. – We got DEFCON 4 going. | -我吗 不了 -出大事了 |
| [03:52] | – I’m having a bagel. – Okay, well… | -我正吃面包圈呢 -好吧 |
| [03:54] | Yep? No, I got him. | 怎么 找到他了 |
| [03:55] | – He’s down in the bagel room. – “The bagel room”? | -他在面包圈房呢 -面包圈房 |
| [03:57] | – Yeah. Right. – It’s called “The coffee room.” | -对 -这叫咖啡厅 |
| [03:59] | Okay, I’m gonna bring him up now. | 好 我这就带他上去 |
| [04:01] | No one calls it “The bagel room,” Rodney. | 没人管这叫面包圈房 大鲁 |
| [04:03] | Dude, wherever we are, | 哥们 管你这叫啥 |
| [04:04] | you gotta leave here and come with me. | 总之我看见你 就得把你带上去 |
| [04:06] | – Why? – The boss wants to see you. | -为啥 -头儿要见你 |
| [04:08] | – Wants to see me? – It’s– yeah, about– | -要见我吗 -对 是为了 |
| [04:10] | – I’m not– – –it’s about your companywide email. | -我没 -为了你给全公司发的邮件 |
| [04:15] | Rodney, I’m not gonna flee the scene. | 大鲁 我又不会逃 |
| [04:17] | Keep yapping, bro. Do not | 你就接着胡侃吧 哥们 别逼我 |
| [04:18] | make me put these flesh handcuffs on you. | 给你戴手铐 |
| [04:20] | – Oh, great, Marie! – Tim. | -太好了 马姐 -小炯 |
| [04:22] | Marie, you gonna say something here? | 马姐 你不管管吗 |
| [04:23] | Yes, I will say something. | 正要管 |
| [04:25] | Rodney, please apply pressure. Just no bruising. | 大鲁 用点力 但别伤着他 |
| [04:27] | – Roger that. Squeezing. – What? | -明白 挤压中 -啥 |
| [04:29] | I don’t understand why I’m being held. | 为啥抓我啊 |
| [04:32] | – Tim, Tim, Tim. – Yeah? | -小炯 小炯 -怎么 |
| [04:34] | You know what you’ve done. | 你做了什么 心里清楚 |
| [04:36] | – No, I don’t. – He’s acting up. | -真不知道 -他装着呢 |
| [04:37] | – I’m gonna put him in a forklift. – No. I’m not acting up. | -我钳住他好了 -别 我真没装 |
| [04:40] | – This is good. He ain’t going anywhere. – Oh, Tim. | -好鸟 他只能乖乖呆着了 -小炯 |
| [04:43] | Hey, Helen, I’m being held here against my will. | 海婶 我被强制绑着了 |
| [04:45] | Well, I just wanted to say it was so nice | 我就想和你说 这几年来 |
| [04:48] | working with you these past couple of years. | 很高兴和你一起工作 |
| [04:50] | – Are you retiring? – Well… | -你要退休了吗 -这个 |
| [04:52] | I assume you’re being fired, right? | 我估计你要被裁了 不是吗 |
| [04:55] | – Right. – Me? No, I’m doing great here. | -对 -我吗 不会把 我干得很好啊 |
| [04:56] | – I’m doing great. – Rodney, be careful of his windpipe. | -干得很棒 -大鲁 小心伤着他的气管 |
| [05:01] | Hey, boss, I was told you wanted to… | 头儿 听说你想 |
| [05:03] | s-s-speak to me? | 和 和我谈谈 |
| [05:04] | – Tim? – Yeah. | -小炯 -在 |
| [05:05] | I was perusing through my emails this morning. | 我今早查收我的邮件 |
| [05:09] | – Yeah? – In the subject heading in between | -然后 -在标题为 |
| [05:11] | “85% off printer ink” And some boner-making pills, | “油墨1.5折处理”和壮阳药广告邮件之中 |
| [05:13] | I came across this subject line: | 我看到这么一行标题 |
| [05:16] | “Who’s the boss now, bitch?” | “现在谁说了算 臭婊子” |
| [05:18] | From you. | 是你发的 |
| [05:21] | What’d you say? I sent… | 你说什么 我发了 |
| [05:23] | “Who’s the boss now, bitch?” | “现在谁说了算 臭婊子” |
| [05:25] | – You sent this– – No no no… | -你发了点这 -不是吧 |
| [05:27] | Look at it! And you forwarded this companywide | 你看 你还把这邮件转发给了 |
| [05:29] | to every single employee of mine. | 我所有的职员 |
| [05:30] | It had some photographs in there– some JPEGs, as they say– | 这里面还有点照片 所谓的JPEG文件 |
| [05:34] | – of you and my wife. – No, let me see this picture. | -是你和我老婆的合照 -让我看看 |
| [05:37] | I can’t imagine– oh. | 我实在想象不了 |
| [05:40] | – Whoa, look at that. – No no no. | -你看这张 -天啊 |
| [05:41] | – Where are we now? – No. | -你看我们在哪 -天啊 |
| [05:43] | – Where are we? – This is a prank. | -现在呢 -这是个恶作剧 |
| [05:45] | – You sent this photo. – Let me– | -是你发的 -让我 |
| [05:46] | – See you there? Happy as can be… – That is some… | -看到你没 兴高采烈的 -这是 |
| [05:49] | -…sipping on a mimosa. – These are obviously fake. | -喝着含羞草[鸡尾酒] -明显是假的 |
| [05:52] | That’s a fake picture. It’s bad Photoshop work. | 这是PS的 P得太明显了 |
| [05:54] | Honestly, I thought the same thing at first, | 说真的 我先开始想得一样 |
| [05:56] | so I took it down to the top dog in IT. I believe his name is… | 然后我拿给IT部的头头 我记得他是叫 |
| [05:59] | Theo– something Greek along those lines– | 西奥 中间有个啥我不认得 |
| [06:02] | and he confirmed that this is indeed you. | 他确认 这人就是你 |
| [06:03] | There no retouching done with this– this is you. | 没有修改痕迹 就是你 |
| [06:06] | – Theo confirmed that? – Yes. Theo did. | -西奥说的这吗 -对 他说的 |
| [06:08] | Get a second opinion. | 你再听点不同意见啊 |
| [06:09] | I did. I asked Theo twice. | 听了 我问了西奥两遍 |
| [06:11] | Is this where you fire me? | 你是要炒了我吗 |
| [06:13] | Give me a second chance. | 再给我次机会吧 |
| [06:15] | – It won’t– – Oh, Tim! | -不会 -我说小炯 |
| [06:16] | I’m not gonna fire you. I expect this from you. | 我没想炒你 我就知道你会这么想 |
| [06:19] | – You expect this from me? – You young mope, | -你知道我这么想 -你们这些二逼年轻人 |
| [06:22] | beaten down by life, starved for female attention… | 生活不顺 又渴求女性的注意 |
| [06:26] | – I wouldn’t say that. -…and contact. | -我不这么想 -还想联系她们 |
| [06:28] | You are clearly just a pawn in the game of a strong woman. | 你明显是一个女王爪下的玩物 |
| [06:32] | That’s true. I know it’s insulting, but… | 是这样 我知道这话不好听 不过 |
| [06:35] | when you’re right, you’re right. You know, I’m a pawn. | 你啥时候错过啊 我就是个玩物 |
| [06:37] | I’m glad this is over. And let’s get back to work. | 太好了 没事了 那我继续工作了 |
| [06:40] | – Over? Come back here. – Good chatting with you. | -没完呢 回来 -和你聊天真开心 |
| [06:42] | Seriously, Tim, this is the beginning. | 说真的 小炯 这才刚开始呢 |
| [06:44] | I’m going to use this information to confront her. | 我要用这件事和她对质 |
| [06:46] | – Oh, no. – Tonight. | -别 -今晚就对 |
| [06:47] | – That’s a bad idea. – I called you to see if you, you know, | -这可不好 -我叫你来是想问问你 |
| [06:50] | if you had any other shots. | 你们能不能再搞一次 |
| [06:51] | More like this or even racier, | 和这次一样 或者更激情点 |
| [06:53] | kinkier, sexier. Something at least without the robe, | 更变态 更性感 至少来张光光的 |
| [06:55] | showing, you know, your manhood. Do you have– | 显示出你的男子气概 你有 |
| [06:57] | I’m pretty sure it was just the one shot. | 我确定 就这么一次了 |
| [06:59] | Nothing– nothing that shows your junk? | 就没张露你老二的吗 |
| [07:01] | No, we just had– took the picture | 没有 我们拍完那些 |
| [07:04] | and drank our mimosas. | 就去喝薰衣草酒了 |
| [07:06] | I’m gonna go ahead right now and say thank you, Tim. | 那我就谢谢你了 小炯 |
| [07:09] | – Thank you? – In all the years you’ve been here, | -谢谢 -你来这这么多年 |
| [07:10] | this is the first constructive thing you’ve done. | 这是你所做的第一件有意义的事了 |
| [07:15] | Theo? | 西奥 |
| [07:16] | Who’s the boss now, bitch! | 现在谁说了算 臭婊子 |
| [07:18] | Oh, sweet line, huh? | 这台词给力吧 |
| [07:20] | No, you took it too far. Come on. | 给什么给 你过分了 |
| [07:22] | Theo strikes back. Get it up there, IT guy. | 西奥反击了 小宇宙爆发鸟 IT男 |
| [07:25] | – Boom goes the dynamite. – You’re sitting in this room too long. | -那是相当轰动 -你们在办公室坐久了 |
| [07:28] | You gotta get some fresh air. | 出去呼吸点新鲜空气吧 |
| [07:29] | – Send an email to the company– – Okay. | -给全公司发封邮件 -然后 |
| [07:31] | that says, “Hey, I’m a little abnormally angry | 里面说 “嗨 我是个本专业之内 |
| [07:35] | for someone in my field. | 不太正常的易怒男 |
| [07:37] | I sent a weird email. It was a joke. | 我发了封奇怪的邮件 是开玩笑的 |
| [07:40] | I take it back. I’m a weird guy.” | 我收回了 我是个怪人” |
| [07:42] | And hit “Send.” | 然后点”发送” |
| [07:44] | – Okay, um, I hear what you’re saying… – Please? | -我听到你说的了 -行不 |
| [07:46] | – Yeah? -… and no. | -好不 -不行 |
| [07:47] | – No? – Are you kidding me? | -不行吗 -你开玩笑吗 |
| [07:49] | – No. – That’ll make me look unprofessional. | -没有 -那样显得我多不专业 |
| [07:52] | You know what? Just give me– | 我说 你就给我 |
| [07:53] | I assume you fixed the laptop at least? | 那你至少给我修好电脑了吧 |
| [07:54] | – Oh yeah, we did fix the lap. – Totally fixed it. | -当然 我们修好了 -修得相当好 |
| [07:56] | Set some preferences. Air-cleaned the keyboard. | 设了一些参数 清理了键盘 |
| [07:59] | It’s set. | 全搞定了 |
| [08:00] | Why didn’t you just do that in the first place? | 之前就这样不就啥事都没了 |
| [08:02] | Um, that’s a good question. | 是个好问题 |
| [08:09] | Hi, Mrs. Davis? | 嗨 戴维斯夫人 |
| [08:12] | – Yes? – Hi, I’m Tim. | -什么事 -你好 我叫小炯 |
| [08:14] | – I work with your husband. – Oh, Tim. | -我是你丈夫的手下 -你好 小炯 |
| [08:16] | – Yeah. Hey. – Hi. | -嘿 -嗨 |
| [08:18] | I wanted to come by and have a little talk with you, if I may. | 我想着来跟你谈谈 不知道行不 |
| [08:21] | Well, of course. Come on in. | 当然行 进来吧 |
| [08:23] | You know Keith, don’t you? | 你认识吉斯吧 |
| [08:25] | Oh, Keith and I go way back. | 对 吉斯和我都老朋友了 |
| [08:29] | So that’s it. You know, it was a prank gone wrong | 是这样 有个骗局搅黄了 |
| [08:32] | and now he thinks you’re actually cheating on him. | 现在你丈夫以为你背着他偷情了 |
| [08:35] | Oh ho ho! He thinks I’m cheating on him, does he? | 笑死我了 他以为我偷腥了是吧 |
| [08:38] | – Mmm. – With you? | -对 -和你吗 |
| [08:40] | Me and you, going at it. | 你和我 对的 |
| [08:42] | Aha ha ha ha! | 笑屎了笑屎了 |
| [08:43] | He’s got some nerve. | 他真有胆 |
| [08:46] | Of all the guys in the world, | 世界上这么多男人 |
| [08:48] | he thinks my only option | 他竟以为我会和 |
| [08:50] | is to have an affair with someone like you. | 你这样的人搞外遇 |
| [08:55] | Ah, someone like me? | 我这样的 |
| [08:58] | Does he think I’m that much of a bottom-feeder? | 他以为我饥不择食了吗 |
| [09:01] | Bottom-feeder? That’s– that’s a bit of a putdown, no? | 饥不择食 有点伤人了吧 |
| [09:04] | You know what? I’m gonna give him something to be jealous about. | 等着瞧 等我做点啥惹他眼红的 |
| [09:07] | No. No, don’t do that. | 可别 可别 |
| [09:09] | – Oh, yes. – No. | -相当行 -别 |
| [09:10] | Oh, yes, you know what I’m gonna do? | 知道我要做什么吗 |
| [09:12] | I’m gonna bang the UPS guy. | 我要上送快递的 |
| [09:14] | – The UPS guy? – Oh, yes. | -送快递的 -对的 |
| [09:16] | – Where’d he come from? – I’ve always wanted to. | -怎么就想到他了 -我早就想了 |
| [09:18] | – Now I have an excuse. – No, don’t bang him. | -现在正好有理由了 -可别上他 |
| [09:21] | Or maybe the gardener. Where are these people | 园丁也行 这些人真是 |
| [09:23] | when you need them? | 需要的时候都哪去了 |
| [09:24] | No, don’t bang either of those two. | 别 他俩谁都别上 |
| [09:26] | Just– let’s just explain and stick to plan A. | 我们还是解释一下 按原方案来吧 |
| [09:29] | – You know what? You’re right. – Yeah? | -算了 你说得对 -是吧 |
| [09:30] | I need to do this now while I’m angry. | 趁我正火着 我现在就做 |
| [09:33] | – Tim. – Yeah? | -小炯 -怎么 |
| [09:34] | – Take your pants off. – Pants? No. | -把裤子脱了 -裤子 不了 |
| [09:36] | I’m afraid my pants have to stay on. | 我还是好好穿着吧 |
| [09:38] | I’ve made some bad career moves, but that would– | 我在职业方面有过些许不顺 可这 |
| [09:40] | that would be right up there in the top five. | 可就直接入前五名了 |
| [09:42] | – Take ’em off, Tim. – Yeah? | -快脱了 小炯 -真的 |
| [09:43] | I’m a busy woman. Let’s get this over with. | 姐忙着呢 我们赶紧搞定 |
| [09:46] | All right, they’re coming off. | 好吧 脱中 |
| [09:49] | This is not romantic. This is not… | 这么不浪漫 人们 |
| [09:52] | well, the way most people have sex. | 一般不这么搞 |
| [09:54] | – You seem nervous. – A little bit. | -你好像挺紧张 -有点 |
| [09:56] | I’m gonna get you some Scotch. You stay here. | 我给你拿杯威士忌 你先呆在这 |
| [10:00] | Oh, this is not good. This is not good. | 不妙 可不妙 |
| [10:03] | Keith, just wagging your tail. | 吉斯 你就摇尾巴 |
| [10:07] | Nothing to wag about here. | 这没什么好摇的 |
| [10:10] | Tim! | 小炯 |
| [10:11] | – Oh, hey, listen– – You’re pantless, Tim. | -嘿 听我说 -你没穿裤子 小炯 |
| [10:14] | – Um, there’s a good explanation for… – Oh no, Tim, | -让我好好解释一下 -别 小炯 |
| [10:16] | – don’t explain. -…all of this. | -别解释 -这一切 |
| [10:18] | I really– I really appreciate this. | 我很 很感谢你 |
| [10:22] | – You appreciate it. Why? – Dedication. | -你感谢我 为甚 -这么敬业 |
| [10:25] | You knew I needed more proof, so you’re here to– | 你知道我还需要证据 所以你来这 |
| [10:28] | to stick it to my wife. | 和我老婆搞湿身 |
| [10:29] | That’s not the reaction I was expecting. | 没想到你是这个反应 |
| [10:31] | Listen, I’m gonna hide. You just get to it. | 这样 我先藏着 你们继续 |
| [10:33] | You work her real good. When things are getting really filthy, | 越嗨越好 等到不堪入目的时候 |
| [10:37] | I’ll come in and the jig will be up. | 我再出现 她就完蛋了 |
| [10:39] | – You don’t have a plan B? – Shh, I’m not here. | -没别的方案吗 -嘘 这没我 |
| [10:45] | What would Keith do in this situation? | 要是吉斯 会怎么做呢 |
| [10:49] | Keith would leave. That is a very good idea. | 吉斯会溜走 好主意 |
| [11:03] | – How many? – Let’s see. Uh… | -几位 -我看下 |
| [11:06] | just– one. | 就我一个 |
| [11:08] | – One? – Yeah. | -一个 -对 |
| [11:09] | – You’re here by yourself? – Aren’t you? | -你自己来的 -你不是吗 |
| [11:11] | Yeah, but I’m working here. | 是 可我在这工作好吧 |
| [11:13] | – Oh my God, it’s Stu! – Amy? | -天哪 这不司徒吗 -小美 |
| [11:16] | Stu, what are you doing here? Who are you with? | 司徒 你怎么来这了 和谁一起的 |
| [11:18] | I am here with… | 我是和 |
| [11:20] | – other people who are– – Oh my God! | -其他那些 -天啊 |
| [11:22] | – You have to come party with us! – Yes! | -你可得跟我们一起玩 -好啊 |
| [11:24] | – I would– – Jen is the bachelorette. | -我可以 -珍是今晚的单身女郎 |
| [11:26] | – Let’s party. – Party with Stu! | -我们派对吧 -和司徒派对 |
| [11:28] | Party with Stu-u-u! | 和司司徒派对 |
| [11:31] | So what does your fiance do? | 你未婚夫是干啥的 |
| [11:33] | – He’s an accountant. – Oh, that’s cool. | -干会计的 -很棒 |
| [11:35] | – Yeah. – That’s exciting. | -是呢 -很赞 |
| [11:36] | – Yeah. – Did he help you find the penis hat? | -是啊 -是他给你挑的这弟弟帽吗 |
| [11:40] | No, the girls got together and got me this penis hat. | 不是 是姐妹们一起出去 给我买的 |
| [11:43] | And they were like, “This one is so you.” | 她们当时就说 “这帽子太衬你了” |
| [11:46] | And I was like, “Oh my God, you are right.” | 我就说 “天哪 你们太对了” |
| [11:49] | Oh my God, I am so wasted. | 我的天 快醉死我了 |
| [11:51] | – Yeah. – Girls, isn’t Stu, like, so adorable? | -是呢 -姐妹们 你们觉着司徒萌不 |
| [11:54] | – You’re so cute. – He really is, like, the cutest, | -你好萌 -确实是 他真是个又萌 |
| [11:57] | most pathetic little thing. | 又可怜的小东西 |
| [11:58] | Like, he showed up by himself at the bar. | 竟然一个人来酒吧 |
| [12:01] | I was hoping to meet people here– | 我指望着来这认识别人呢 |
| [12:02] | – But he’s like a teddy bear! – There you go. | -好萌 真像泰迪熊 -是吧 |
| [12:04] | You know, like a big fat teddy bear. | 就像只大块头泰迪 |
| [12:07] | – Yeah. – With a cute little butt. | -是 -还有个小美臀 |
| [12:09] | You guys, take a picture of me with Stu’s butt. | 快 帮我给我和司徒的屁股合张照 |
| [12:11] | – Good idea. Get close to his butt. – Okay. | -好主意 离他屁股近点 -好嘞 |
| [12:13] | Oh my God, look at this butt! I just want to grab it! | 天哪 快看他的屁股 真想抓一下 |
| [12:16] | – That’s real– – Okay, one, two, three. | -真抓了 -好了 1 2 3 |
| [12:22] | Got it. | 拍好了 |
| [12:23] | Oh my God, this is so much fun. | 太有意思鸟 |
| [12:26] | You guys, do one where he’s a horse | 你们俩 来拍张装作他是马 |
| [12:27] | and you’re, like, riding a horse. | 而你在骑马的姿势 |
| [12:29] | Wait a second, let’s– Stu, let’s get one | 等下 司徒 我们来张 |
| [12:31] | where you and I are, like, making out. | 亲热照好了 |
| [12:33] | – Okay. – But we’re not really making out, | -行 -不过不是真的亲热 |
| [12:35] | – but it looks like we’re about to. – That’s fine. Either way. | -但是要干柴烈火的那种 -好 都行 |
| [12:37] | – Jen, Jen, do you have this? – I got it! | -珍 你来拍吗 -好 |
| [12:39] | – Okay, ready? One, two– make out! – Whoohoo! | -准备好了吗 1 2 亲热 -哇塞 |
| [12:43] | – Oh my God, mm mmm. – That looked so real, you guys! | -天啊 -真逼真啊你俩 |
| [12:46] | – That was totally real! – Amy, this is a different side of you. | -相当真 -小美 这完全是你的另一面啊 |
| [12:50] | – Do you want to see another side? – Yeah. | -你还想看我其他面吗 -想 |
| [12:51] | – Do you? – Yes. | -真的 -对 |
| [12:52] | – Check this out! – Okay. | -看看这个 -好 |
| [12:57] | That’s how I thought they would look. | 跟我想象得一模一样 |
| [13:00] | – Stu? – What? | -司徒 -怎么了 |
| [13:02] | – You look awful. – Oh. | -你看起来很不顺心 -这个 |
| [13:04] | I look awful but I feel terrific. | 虽然看着不咋样 不过我感觉特好 |
| [13:07] | – Really? – Gotta go to more bachelorette parties. | -真的吗 -以后我得多参加单身派对 |
| [13:10] | – Bachelorette? Amy– – It’s a place I feel I can blossom. | -单身 小美 -那种地方太适合我了 |
| [13:13] | – Amy went to a bachelorette party. – Not a coincidence. | -小美也去了单身派对 -绝非巧合 |
| [13:16] | I bumped into her and a couple of her lady friends. | 我碰到她和她朋友了 |
| [13:20] | – Really? – She didn’t tell you? | -真的 -她没说吗 |
| [13:21] | No, she was sleeping when I left. What happened? | 没 我走的时候她还睡着呢 发生什么了 |
| [13:23] | I don’t honestly remember. | 我记不太清了 |
| [13:25] | I just remember waking up with a smile on my face | 就记得早上一起 满脸微笑 |
| [13:28] | and a tent in my pants… if you know what I mean. | 搭着帐篷 你懂的 |
| [13:31] | – I had a boner. – Huh. | -我勃起了 -明白 |
| [13:33] | One girl was supposed to | 有个女孩说要 |
| [13:34] | post her photos online. Let’s see if they’re up. | 把照片传网上 我看看传了没 |
| [13:37] | Here we go. Okay, there’s me by the bar. | 就这个 这是我在酒吧 |
| [13:40] | – Oh, yeah. – That’s me and the lady train. | -对 -这是我和美女火车 |
| [13:43] | – That’s great. – Okay, there’s me with Amy. | -很好 -这是我和小美 |
| [13:46] | – There she is. – That’s me and Amy again. | -她出现了 -又是我和小美 |
| [13:48] | That’s a great shot. | 拍得很好 |
| [13:50] | That’s Amy, I think licking my neck. | 这是小美 好像在舔我的脖子 |
| [13:52] | – Amy getting to first base with me… – What? | -小美和我上一垒 -啥 |
| [13:56] | …by French-kissing my mouth. | 和我玩舌吻 |
| [13:57] | That’s Amy on my back getting ready to flash her titties. | 这是小美在我身后 准备亮出她的凶器 |
| [14:00] | – What the hell? – You know, I’m gonna stop narrating. | -我勒个去 -算了 我就不解说了 |
| [14:03] | – I won’t say these out loud anymore. – Is this a joke? | -这些场景没法说出声 -你搞乐呢 |
| [14:05] | No… I think it was. | 没有 但我们是开玩笑的 |
| [14:07] | – Tim– – You made out with Amy? | -小炯 -你和小美亲热了 |
| [14:09] | – She made out with me. – She’s nude in this photo. | -是她和我亲热的 -她这张都裸了 |
| [14:13] | Aren’t we all nude… in photos? | 我们在照片上 不都裸吗 |
| [14:17] | – No, we’re not. – Listen, Tim, | -怎么可能 -听我说 小炯 |
| [14:19] | – I’m gonna make it up to you. – Yeah? | -我会补偿你呢 -怎么补偿 |
| [14:20] | I’m gonna say that you can make out with a woman | 你可以和我生命中一位 |
| [14:23] | who’s important to me in my life. | 重要的女人亲热 |
| [14:25] | – No, I don’t want that. – So that would be… | -我可不想 -比如 |
| [14:27] | – like, my mom or Deborah Norville. – No. | -我妈或者黛波拉·诺维尔[影星] -不要 |
| [14:30] | How are you gonna arrange | 再说你准备怎么安排 |
| [14:31] | for me to make out with Deborah Norville? | 我和黛波拉·诺维尔亲热 |
| [14:33] | You know, with online– | 在网上啊 |
| [14:35] | You know what? I’m gonna deal with you later. | 你等着 我一会再跟你算账 |
| [14:37] | I gotta– I gotta go talk to Amy. This is insane. | 我得 去跟小美谈谈 真疯了 |
| [14:39] | Exactly. Amy’s the one on trial here. | 对的 你该怪的是小美 |
| [14:44] | – Hey, there she is. – Tim. | -她在这 -小炯 |
| [14:47] | – What are you doing home? – There’s my girlfriend. | -你怎么回来了 -我女友在这 |
| [14:49] | – You didn’t go to work today? – Yeah, | -你今天没去上班 -对 |
| [14:51] | we kind of drank a lot last night. | 昨晚我们喝多了 |
| [14:52] | Mmm, that’s what I hear. Stu seemed like he had a good night. | 我听说了 看司徒那样 他昨晚可玩爽了 |
| [14:56] | Oh, yeah. | 对的 |
| [14:58] | – Oh, yeah! – We ran into Stu. | -还对的 -我们碰到司徒了 |
| [15:00] | – You did. – I totally forgot. | -碰到了 -我都给忘了 |
| [15:02] | That’s understandable. Photos looked kind of boring, actually. | 可以理解 那些照片看着也很没劲 |
| [15:05] | – Photos? – Your friend Julie sent him the link. | -照片 -你朋友朱莉把链接发给他了 |
| [15:07] | – You wanna check ’em out? – Uh, okay. | -你想看看吗 -行 |
| [15:10] | Here we go– a slideshow. | 走着 幻灯放映 |
| [15:12] | – Oh, there’s Jen. – Good old Jen. | -这是珍 -老朋友珍 |
| [15:15] | – There’s Stu. – That’s Stu. | -这是司徒 -是司徒 |
| [15:17] | I know who Stu is. There’s you and Stu. | 我知道哪个是他 这是你和他 |
| [15:20] | Here’s you licking Stu. | 这是你舔他 |
| [15:22] | – Oh my God. – And those must be your boobs. | -天啊 -这张一定是你的咪咪了 |
| [15:25] | Oh my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [15:27] | I’ve seen– yeah, that’s definitely them, right? | 我见过的 肯定是了 对不 |
| [15:29] | This is kind of coming back to me. | 完了 我好像都想起来了 |
| [15:32] | – Kind of? – I’m so embarrassed. | -好像 -太丢人了 |
| [15:35] | I’m not usually on this side of the being-mad equation. | 一般都轮不到我生气的 |
| [15:38] | What do I do? Hands on hips? | 我该咋办 两手叉腰 |
| [15:40] | – Tim, listen– – Angry scowl? | -小炯 听我说 -跟你横眉怒眼 |
| [15:42] | Hold on, let me get my pose down. | 等下 我摆好姿势 |
| [15:43] | I’m gonna go with arms crossed and refusal to make eye contact. | 我决定双臂交叉 完全不看你 |
| [15:47] | I screwed up, okay? | 我搞砸了 好吗 |
| [15:48] | – I’m not even looking at you. – Okay. | -我都没看你 -行吧 |
| [15:50] | Let– I’ll make you a deal. | 我们作个交易吧 |
| [15:52] | – Yeah? – For one week, | -怎样 -一周时间里 |
| [15:53] | you can have a free pass. | 绿卡你随便用 |
| [15:56] | – What’s that? – You can do anything you want | -啥意思 -你爱做什么做什么 |
| [15:58] | no matter how wrong it is. And I can’t get mad. | 多离谱都没事 我都不会生气 |
| [16:02] | – Anything? – Anything. | -什么都行 -什么都行 |
| [16:05] | Huh. I kinda like that idea. | 这主意我喜欢 |
| [16:07] | Let’s just get started. I’m gonna– | 我们开始吧 我要 |
| [16:09] | think I’m gonna throw a little ham sandwich on the rug. | 我要把三明治扔地毯上 |
| [16:12] | Anything you want. | 随便做吧 |
| [16:13] | All right, I love it. | 好嘞 太棒了 |
| [16:14] | Um, what else do I got? | 还做点啥呢 |
| [16:16] | Is it weird if I just throw a banana at you? | 我要是冲你扔个香蕉 会不会很奇怪 |
| [16:19] | – Or– – I’m not gonna get mad. | -或者 -我不会生气的 |
| [16:21] | – These are the kind of things I can do? – Anything you want. | -这些事是我能做的吧 -你想做啥都行 |
| [16:23] | Great, I’m just gonna stick my gum on the wall | 太好了 那我要把口香糖黏在墙上 |
| [16:25] | and get out of here. | 离开这 |
| [16:28] | So you get a free pass for a whole week? | 那这一周都随你了 |
| [16:31] | – I can do anything. – You living it up? | -我做啥都行 -你享受得咋样 |
| [16:32] | – I’m living it up. – What are you doing? | -不错不错喽 -都做了点啥 |
| [16:34] | All kind of things. I… | 啥都有 我 |
| [16:36] | left a wet towel on the bed. | 把湿毛巾扔在床上 |
| [16:39] | Where else are you supposed to leave them? | 不然还能扔在哪 |
| [16:40] | I put the garbage in the hall… | 把垃圾扔在大厅里 |
| [16:43] | – Wow. -…instead of taking it downstairs. | -不是吧 -以前都拿下楼的 |
| [16:45] | Sounds like the way I just lead my life day to day. | 我每天就是这么活的谢谢 |
| [16:48] | – Yeah. – You’re not taking advantage, Tim. | -是呢 -小炯 你太便宜她了 |
| [16:50] | – What do you mean? – She’s giving you a free pass… | -啥意思 -她准许你随便 |
| [16:52] | – Yeah? -…to do weird stuff | -然后 -和其他人 |
| [16:54] | with other people. | 做奇怪的事 |
| [16:56] | Like stuff with another girl, or– | 比如和另一个美眉 |
| [16:58] | Yeah. | 对的 |
| [16:59] | No, she didn’t say that. | 她可没这么说 |
| [17:00] | Listen, I know a lot about women. | 听着 我相当了解女人 |
| [17:02] | I was able to make out with my best friend’s girlfriend. | 我都和我最好哥们的女友搞过 |
| [17:05] | I think I know a thing or two about ladies. | 所以对她们我还是略知一二的 |
| [17:07] | – You think– – She’s asking you for a favor, Tim: | -你觉得 -她是在求你帮忙呢 小炯 |
| [17:09] | “Help me feel okay about my actions.” | “求你让我减轻罪恶感吧” |
| [17:13] | – So you need to go and find someone– – Maybe. | -所以你得找个人 -可能吧 |
| [17:15] | –and even the playing field. | 可能还要定下犯罪现场 |
| [17:17] | I guess if it helps her relieve her guilt. | 好吧 我也是为了帮她减轻罪恶感 |
| [17:19] | – It’s for her, Tim. – I gotta think who I’d even approach. | -是为了她 小炯 -我得想想 找谁呢 |
| [17:26] | Thanks for the cappuccino, Tim. | 多谢你给我买卡布提诺 小炯 |
| [17:27] | – Don’t mention it. – This was really nice of you. | -没事 -你人真好 |
| [17:29] | – Don’t mention it. I’m a nice guy. – Yeah, | -别提了 我就是个好人 -是呢 |
| [17:31] | – what’s the occasion? – Well… | -找我什么事啊 -这个 |
| [17:33] | you know, I’m just gonna throw this out there. | 那我就直接说了 |
| [17:35] | Don’t feel like you have to answer on the spot. | 你不用马上回答我 |
| [17:37] | Maybe you wanna think about it. | 你可能需要思考一下 |
| [17:41] | You met my sister and said you’d like to fuck her sometime? | 你见了我姐 说你哪天想上她 |
| [17:45] | – No. No no… – Tim! | -不是 不是 -小炯 |
| [17:46] | I did bring up something to that effect. | 我确实是往那方面说的 |
| [17:48] | I didn’t phrase it like that. | 可不是这么措辞的 |
| [17:50] | What kind of a sick person are you? | 你咋能这么恶心 |
| [17:52] | No no, I was on a free pass. Remember? | 不是 你不是给我绿卡了吗 你忘了 |
| [17:54] | – Anything goes. Anything. – Not that! | -什么都行 随便 -这个不行 |
| [17:56] | What do you mean, not that? | 什么意思 这个不行 |
| [17:57] | We really should have clarified the rules. | 干吗不事先讲好规则 |
| [17:59] | This is not fair. I’m the mad person. | 不公平 本来是我生气了 |
| [18:01] | I’m mad at you. I’m– I’m crossing my arms. | 你气着我了 我 我要双手交叉了 |
| [18:04] | Tim, I thought you would go to a strip club, | 小炯 我还以为你会去个脱衣舞厅 |
| [18:06] | – stay out late with your buddies… – No. | -和你的哥们玩到很晚 -不是吧 |
| [18:09] | …crash on someone’s couch, | 睡在沙发上 |
| [18:09] | not call. – I thought we– | 不给我打电话啥的 -我以为我们 |
| [18:11] | Oh, man, this is a big misunderstanding. | 天啊 整个理解错了 |
| [18:13] | It’s actually kind of– kind of funny, isn’t it? | 实际上挺逗乐的 不是吗 |
| [18:16] | – Funny? – It’s like a funny misunderstanding. | -逗乐 -这种误解很逗乐 |
| [18:18] | – Are you joking? – It’s not like it was just your sister. | -你开玩笑呢 -我又不是只找了你姐 |
| [18:21] | I had a list of people. I wasn’t targeting your family. | 我列了很多人 不是光针对你们家的 |
| [18:25] | What were you thinking? | 你想什么呢 |
| [18:26] | Free pass– when you give someone a free pass, | 绿卡 你让别人随便做的时候 |
| [18:28] | things– it messes with you, you know? | 有时事情就不受控制了 |
| [18:30] | Do you know how pissed my parents are? | 你知道我爸妈气成啥样吗 |
| [18:32] | – They– they know? – Yes. | -他们 都知道了 -对 |
| [18:34] | What kind of sick family is this? You’re telling people– | 你们家咋这样 告诉别人 |
| [18:36] | My sister called them. | 是我姐打给他们说的 |
| [18:37] | She called your parents and says, | 她打给你爸妈 说 |
| [18:38] | – “Tim wants to fuck me.” – She told them. | -“小炯想上我” -她告诉他们的 |
| [18:40] | That’s insane. Who does that? | 疯了吧 没见过这样的 |
| [18:42] | Who asks my sister that? | 怎么不说是谁这样提议的 |
| [18:43] | Apparently my boyfriend. | 明显是我男友 |
| [18:44] | I think we’re all at blame here. | 我们都差不多 谁也别怪谁了 |
| [18:46] | – I think it’s– – There’s something I have to tell you. | -我觉得 -我有事要告诉你 |
| [18:50] | Free pass is canceled? | 绿卡取消了 |
| [18:51] | My parents have forbidden me from seeing you anymore. | 我爸妈不允许我再见你了 |
| [18:55] | What’s that supposed to mean? | 这什么意思 |
| [18:57] | – Just tell them– – Frankly, I don’t blame them. | -告诉他们 -说真的 我不怪他们 |
| [18:59] | we’re very happy together. | 我们在一起很快乐啊 |
| [19:01] | – You don’t blame them? – Maybe they’re right. | -你不怪他们 -可能他们说得对 |
| [19:04] | What kind of thing is that to say? | 你怎么能这么说 |
| [19:09] | So she broke up with you? | 她和你分手了 |
| [19:11] | You– I– yeah. | 你 我 对 |
| [19:13] | – It’s crazy. – You guys were such a great couple. | -都疯了 -你们俩那么搭对 |
| [19:16] | I know, it was like Brad– Brad and Angelina. | 我知道 就像皮特和安吉丽娜一样 |
| [19:19] | No, I wouldn’t go that far. | 也没那么夸张 |
| [19:21] | – No? – Here’s what you need to do: | -没有吗 -听我的 你这么做 |
| [19:23] | You need to really show her that you care. | 你要表现出 你很在乎她 |
| [19:25] | – How? – Buy her an ice-cream cake. | -怎么表现 -给她买个冰淇淋蛋糕 |
| [19:28] | – That’s– – You know, a Cookie Puss from Carvel. | -这可 -比如小丑蛋糕 |
| [19:30] | – That’s your advice? – And if she refuses to accept, | -你就这建议 -如果她不要 |
| [19:33] | just send it along to someone who’ll appreciate it | 就送给一位爱吃的人 |
| [19:36] | by the name of Stu. | 比如叫司徒的这位 |
| [19:37] | – This is not helping. – I got another plan. | -你这根本帮不上忙 -有了 |
| [19:40] | – What? – A medical emergency. | -什么 -急诊事故 |
| [19:42] | – That’s interesting. – Picture it: | -有意思 -想想看 |
| [19:44] | Amy gets a phone call– “Tim’s hurt. He’s in the hospital.” | 小美接到电话 “小炯受伤了 在医院里” |
| [19:48] | – She doesn’t even hang up the phone. – She comes running. | -她连电话都没挂 -就直接跑来了 |
| [19:51] | She comes running to the hospital. | 一路跑到医院 |
| [19:53] | She’s so glad that you’re not dead… | 看到你还活着 她高兴得不行 |
| [19:55] | She’ll say, “Oh, he’s alive! | 就会说 “他还活着 |
| [19:57] | Who cares if he tried to fuck my sister?” | 还管他是不是想上我姐呢” |
| [20:00] | – Yeah, I mean– – “What a great guy!” | -是呢 -“多好的人啊” |
| [20:02] | That’ll probably be in the back of her mind, | 她可能内心深处是这么想的 |
| [20:03] | but it’ll all seem like a little chuckle. | 不过当面可能只笑笑 什么都不说 |
| [20:05] | Do I actually have to get hurt though? | 那我是不真得受伤啊 |
| [20:07] | – I mean, I don’t want to– – Just slightly. | -我不想 -伤一点就行 |
| [20:09] | – It’s more– – Little bit? | -更像 -一点 |
| [20:09] | –it’s just a tiny bit, a nick, if you will. | -就一点点 蹭一下就行 |
| [20:13] | Something to just imply the concept of hurt. | 只要让别人知道你受伤了就行 |
| [20:19] | All right, here’s the plan: | 好了 计划如下 |
| [20:20] | You’re gonna step in front of a bike messenger– | 你跨到自行车信使面前 |
| [20:22] | – No no, I’m not– – Tim, this is for Amy. | -别 我不 -这可是为了小美 |
| [20:25] | – It’s gonna hurt. – Yeah, it’s gonna hurt, | -会很疼的 -对 是会疼 |
| [20:27] | but not as much as it’s gonna | 但总比你 |
| [20:28] | hurt to be alone for the rest of your life, | 剩下的日子孤身一人要舒服 |
| [20:30] | so step in front of one of these guys, | 所以赶紧的 跨到他们面前 |
| [20:31] | incur some minor injury. He’ll give you the finger. | 受点小伤 那人会冲你竖个中指 |
| [20:35] | He’ll say something about anarchy and then he’ll keep riding. | 他会指责你不守规则 然后就骑走了 |
| [20:39] | – Okay. – And we rush you to St. Mary’s | -好 -然后我们立马送你到圣玛丽医院 |
| [20:40] | – and place the call to Amy. – All right, I’m gonna do it. | -打给小美 -好 那我上了 |
| [20:43] | Wow, these guys are really moving here. | 这些家伙骑得真够快的 |
| [20:45] | – Yeah. – All right, I’m gonna close my eyes | -是呢 -好吧 我就闭上眼 |
| [20:47] | and take the leap. And… time to get injured. | 冒个险 好了 受伤时间到了 |
| [20:50] | Get out of the way, dude! What the fuck! Ahh! | 别挡路 老兄 我操 |
| [20:53] | What happened? | 怎么了 |
| [20:55] | – No no no! – What the hell! Awww! | -不是吧 -我嘞个去 |
| [20:57] | Oh my God, Stu. | 天啊 司徒 |
| [21:03] | – Where’s my– where’s my hot dog? – I’m Tim. | -我的 我的热狗呢 -我是小炯 |
| [21:05] | – You weren’t eating a hot dog. – What’s my hot dog’s name? | -你没吃热狗 -我的热狗叫啥 |
| [21:08] | Oh, this is not good. | 这可不妙 |
| [21:14] | Oh, Stu. | 司徒 你醒了 |
| [21:16] | Do you know where you are? | 知道你在哪吗 |
| [21:19] | – Chuck E. Cheese? – No. No, you’re in the hospital. | -查克芝士[儿童连锁餐厅] -不对 你在医院里 |
| [21:23] | Oh good, ’cause that would have been a terrible Chuck E. Cheese. | 很好 要是查克芝士 也装修得太差了 |
| [21:25] | – You’re gonna be okay. – Listen, I hope this isn’t awkward, | -你会没事的 -听我说 你可别觉得奇怪 |
| [21:29] | but they asked me for an emergency contact and– | 他们叫我写紧急联系人 所以 |
| [21:32] | – You put me down? – Nah, I put Amy down. | -你写的我 -不是 我写的小美 |
| [21:34] | – Amy? – Yeah. | -小美 -对 |
| [21:36] | – Why would you– – You’re not very reliable. | -你为啥 -你又靠不住 |
| [21:39] | – Stu! – I would call my dad but he’s drunk. | -司徒 -我想打给我爸 可他是个酒鬼 |
| [21:43] | Even in the hospital, you’re doing weird things. | 到了医院里 你还这么不靠谱 |
| [21:45] | – Amy’s on her way over. – Amy– | -小美马上就来了 -小美 |
| [21:47] | – she’s coming here? – Yeah, don’t get mad. | -她要来这啊 -对 你别生气啊 |
| [21:50] | – This is ridiculous. – I took a hit | -太荒诞了 -为了你 |
| [21:52] | from a messenger for you. | 我都被骑自行车的撞了 |
| [21:54] | – You didn’t take it– – I stepped in front | -你不是为了 -它经过你的时候 |
| [21:56] | once it passed you. | 我挡在了你前面 |
| [21:57] | No, it happened against your will and then you were crying. | 不对 你是事与愿违 当时你还哭了 |
| [21:59] | – lsn’t that– – Oh my God, Stu! | -难道不是 -天啊 司徒 |
| [22:01] | – Are you okay? – Oh, hey, Amy. | -你没事吧 -嘿 小美 |
| [22:03] | – Hey. – Hey, Tim. | -嘿 -嘿 小炯 |
| [22:05] | – What happened to Stu? – What kind of greeting is that? | -司徒这是怎么了 -这算什么招呼啊 |
| [22:08] | I– you know what happened? | 我 你知道发生了什么吗 |
| [22:10] | – No, don’t tell her. – I don’t know what happened. | -别 别告诉她 -我不知道 |
| [22:12] | Tim, let him tell me. | 小炯 让他告诉我 |
| [22:14] | I told Tim he should | 我跟小炯说 他应该给你 |
| [22:16] | send you an ice-cream cake to say sorry– | 买个冰淇淋蛋糕 向你道歉 |
| [22:18] | Cookie Puss– but instead, | 小丑蛋糕 可是他 |
| [22:20] | he wanted to get plowed down by a bike messenger | 却想被自行车信使放倒 |
| [22:23] | – and pretend to be hurt. – Tim, is this true? | -然后装作受伤了 -小炯 是真的吗 |
| [22:26] | What– what part? | 哪部分 |
| [22:27] | – You were gonna pretend to be hurt… – Mmm. | -你想装作受伤了 -对 |
| [22:29] | …because you thought maybe I’d come rushing back | 因为你想着可能我会马上赶来 |
| [22:31] | and forget that you tried to fuck my sister | 忘掉你曾想给我姐买了杯 |
| [22:34] | after buying her a cappuccino? | 卡布提诺之后 就和她搞 |
| [22:36] | I– I thought it was a romantic gesture. | 我还以为那样挺浪漫的 |
| [22:38] | I thought it was like when he holds the boombox up… | 还想着 就像《情到深处》里那人举着收音机 |
| [22:42] | in “Say Anything.” | 那么浪漫 |
| [22:43] | This is pathetic. | 你太可悲了 |
| [22:44] | I agree. But whenever you repeat these things back, | 同意 不过你每次复述这句话 |
| [22:47] | they sound so much worse than they really are. | 都会比本来意义更伤人 |
| [22:51] | Oh God, the pain. | 天啊 好疼 |