| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Now you’re looking at a man that’s getting kinda mad. | *小炯最近很抓狂* |
| [00:08] | I had lots of luck but it’s all been bad | *天天霉运一箩筐* |
| [00:12] | No matter how I struggle and strive, | *发奋努力白劳碌* |
| [00:16] | I’ll never get out of this world alive | *老天从来不赏光* |
| [00:21] | My fishing pole’s broke, the creek is full of sand, | *鞋儿破来帽儿破* |
| [00:25] | My woman run away with another man. | *女朋友都不要我* |
| [00:29] | No matter how I struggle and strive, | *发愤努力白劳碌* |
| [00:33] | I’ll never get out of this world alive. | *老天从来不赏光* |
| [00:46] | Hey, can I get two of your cheapest beers? | 我能要两瓶最便宜的啤酒吗 |
| [00:49] | Yeah, you bet. $17.50. | 当然可以 17块5 |
| [00:51] | $17.50? | 17块5 |
| [00:53] | – Holy shit. – Tim, don’t embarrass me. | -去你丫的 -小炯 别让我难堪 |
| [00:55] | – Me? I don’t ever embarrass anyone. – Just give me your wallet. | -我 我从不让任何人难堪 -拿钱包来 |
| [00:57] | What are you doing? Hey hey! There goes the money. | 你干嘛呢 钱给你 |
| [00:59] | I’m going outside to use the phone. | 我出去打个电话 |
| [01:00] | I am paying in protest. Keep that in mind. | 我表示抗议 记住了 |
| [01:03] | Here you go, $2.50 change. | 找你两块五 |
| [01:05] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [01:08] | – What was that? – I tipped you. | -这是什么 -给你的小费 |
| [01:10] | Did you just put a dollar on top of somebody else’s tip | 你刚是不是在别人给的小费上多放了一美元 |
| [01:13] | so it would look like you left more? | 让人看起来以为你给了很多 |
| [01:14] | No, I gave you a generous tip. | 没有啊 我给了你不少小费 |
| [01:17] | A-ba-ba. I’ll take care of that, Jay. | 我来付 我会付给你的 杰 |
| [01:19] | – Oh no, don’t pay for me. – Relax, Fancy. | -别 别帮我付钱 -没事 凡希 |
| [01:21] | – No one’s trying to get in your pants. – Fancy? | -没人想故意让你难堪 -凡希是谁 |
| [01:23] | How you doing? I’m B.J. | 你怎么样 我是B.J. |
| [01:24] | Dr. B.J., actually. I’m a physician. | 其实是B.J.医生 我是个内科医师 |
| [01:26] | Dr. B.J. | B.J.医生 |
| [01:28] | Like to get ’em, don’t like to give ’em. | 只爱索取不爱付出 |
| [01:29] | -But I’m… – Okay. | -可是我 -好啦 |
| [01:30] | That’s kind of my catchphrase. | 这算是我的名言警句 |
| [01:31] | As a physician, that’s your catchphrase? | 作为一个内科医师 那句是你的警句 |
| [01:33] | Yeah. I need a favor, my friend. | 对 我要你帮个忙 老兄 |
| [01:35] | – See those two girls over there? – Yeah. | -看到那边两个美女没有 -有 |
| [01:37] | I am going to be inside those ladies | 我一个小时之内 |
| [01:39] | within one hour’s time. But I need your help. | 能把那两个美女搞到手 但我要你帮个忙 |
| [01:42] | I was not comfortable earlier. Now I’m really not comfortable. | 刚才我就觉得不对劲 现在相当不对劲 |
| [01:45] | I want those women to know I’m a doctor, | 我要让她们知道我是个医生 |
| [01:46] | but I don’t want to just come out and say it. | 但我不想就这么平白地说出来 |
| [01:48] | So I need you to go over there and fall down. | 所以我要你走过去摔一跟头 |
| [01:50] | – Fall down? – Pretend to have a heart attack. | -摔跟头 -装作是心脏病突发 |
| [01:52] | – Have a seizure. – No. | -发个羊癫疯 -不要 |
| [01:53] | Somebody will yell for a doctor. | 会有人叫医生 |
| [01:55] | I revive you, cut to– | 我会让你苏醒 |
| [01:57] | And I don’t want to give you too much a visual– | 我不想给太多视觉上的画面 |
| [01:59] | My wiener, their mouths. | 我的香肠 她们的丰唇 |
| [02:03] | – You know what I need? – What? | -你知道我要什么吗 -什么 |
| [02:05] | If you’re a doctor, I could use some free medical advice. | 如果你是个医生 我就能用免费医嘱了 |
| [02:07] | – Done. – I don’t have insurance. | -成交 -我还没有买医保 |
| [02:09] | -Great. – I’ve got abdominal pains that are driving me crazy. | -好 -我有要命的腹痛 |
| [02:12] | I will fucking murder those pains. | 我会治好那些该死的病痛的 |
| [02:14] | I still think you’re getting the better end of this deal. | 我还是觉得你可以把结局处理得拿手一点 |
| [02:16] | I’m gonna be in the better end of those deals. | 我会把这些交易的结尾处理得更拿手 |
| [02:18] | – You know what I’m saying? – You’re quick with those. | -知道我在说什么吗 -你说得太快了 |
| [02:22] | Do you think these shoes make me look fat? | 你觉得这双鞋会不会让我看起来太肥 |
| [02:25] | – Oh my god, no way. – I feel like a house. | -才没有 -肥得像猪一样 |
| [02:27] | Totally looks like you have nicer calves. | 让你的小腿看起来更迷人了 |
| [02:30] | – Love ’em. – Oh boy. | -我很喜欢 -哦 天哪 |
| [02:32] | Yeah, it’s gonna be the best party ever. | 对 这会是个最好的派对 |
| [02:35] | – All right, all right. Not cool, bro. – What? | -好啦 这样不对 老弟 -什么 |
| [02:37] | You’re a real freak-o tweak-o, aren’t you? | 你真是个病态到扭曲的怪胎 知道吗 |
| [02:39] | – Like coming into bars… – No, they were gonna help– | -你一进酒吧 -不 她们会来帮忙 |
| [02:42] | …Staring at ladies, making moaning sounds. | 就盯着小妞 还无病呻吟 |
| [02:43] | I’m having a medical emergency. | 是有病呻吟 我要急诊 |
| [02:45] | – Wait, is something wrong with you? – Oh my god! | -等等 你怎么了 -天啊 |
| [02:48] | – Oh my god. – Somebody call an ambulance. | -天哪 -叫救护车 |
| [02:50] | – Is anyone here a doctor? – It’s okay, I’m here. | -有人能叫医生吗 -没事 我在 |
| [02:53] | – Thank god. – Look at me. | -感谢上苍 -看着我 |
| [02:54] | -Thank god. – I’m a very successful doctor. | -感谢老天 -我是个成功的医生 |
| [02:56] | – Oh, yeah. – Just hang in there, little fella. | -好 -坚持一下 小伙子 |
| [02:58] | – You having trouble breathing? – A little bit. | -你呼吸困难吗 -有一点 |
| [03:00] | Does it feel like someone’s squeezing your heart | 是不是好像有人在你胸腔里 |
| [03:02] | – from inside your chest? – Yes, good diagnosis. | -揪你的心一样 -对 诊断得很对 |
| [03:04] | All right, everybody, ladies, this guy’s fine. | 好啦 各位 女士们 这小子没事 |
| [03:07] | He’s just having a little bit of an anxiety attack. | 他只是有一点焦虑发作 |
| [03:09] | – What? – Probably doesn’t talk to girls too much. | -啥 -可能是他不怎么跟女生说话吧 |
| [03:11] | – What’s going on here? – Probably never been around women | -怎么回事 -可能身边没有过美女 |
| [03:13] | as busty and beautiful as you two ladies. | 尤其像二位一样丰满美艳的美人 |
| [03:15] | – Oh my god, thank you. – All right, thanks for the help. | -天啊 谢谢 -好 谢谢帮助 |
| [03:18] | Somebody drag him into the bathroom. | 谁来把他拖进洗手间吧 |
| [03:20] | – Get him a sprite. He’s gonna be fine. – What? | -给他喝杯雪碧就没事了 -什么 |
| [03:21] | – Probably just got a little too excited. – I’m on it. | -可能只是太兴奋了一点 -我来 |
| [03:23] | – I’m all about helping the weak. – Me too. | -我专门帮助弱者 -我也是 |
| [03:25] | That’s why I went to school for eight years. | 所以我才会在学校里做了8年 |
| [03:26] | You know what I did today? | 你知道我今天做什么了吗 |
| [03:28] | – What? – Brought a baby into this world. | -什么 -把一个婴儿带进这个世界来 |
| [03:31] | Oh my god. I love babies. | 天啊 我好喜欢小婴儿 |
| [03:33] | – I pulled it from its mother’s womb. – Oh my god! | -从他妈妈的肚子里拉出来 -天啊 |
| [03:37] | – And I gave it life. – Oh my god! | -赋予他新生命 -好好哦 |
| [03:41] | I can’t believe you’re actually going to see dr. B.J. | 我不敢相信你真的要见所谓的B.J.医生 |
| [03:44] | My stomach really hurts, I got to say. | 不得不说 我的胃很疼 |
| [03:46] | I mean, he’s all the way in Jersey. | 我的意思是 他可住在泽西 |
| [03:48] | Well, I don’t have health insurance, you know? | 你知道我没医疗保险吧 |
| [03:50] | – I got very few options. – Wait, what? | -我没有选择 -等下 什么 |
| [03:52] | Yeah, I don’t have health insurance | 我确实没有医疗保险 |
| [03:54] | or any kind of retirement plan. | 也没有养老金计划 |
| [03:56] | – or a checking account. – Are you kidding? | -也没有活期存款账户 -开玩笑啊 |
| [03:58] | I thought you knew all that. | 我以为你都知道 |
| [03:58] | – What if you get sick? – Honestly, I figured one day | -那你病了怎么办 -老实说 我想有天 |
| [04:01] | if we get married I’ll hop on your plan. | 我们结婚了我就可以蹭你的养老金了 |
| [04:03] | – Wait a second. – What? | -等等 -什么 |
| [04:05] | The first time you ever say anything about marriage | 这是你第一次提到结婚 |
| [04:07] | and it’s because you want my health benefits? | 还是因为你想要我的医疗福利 |
| [04:09] | It’s romantic that I brought it up. | 我提这事你不觉得很浪漫吗 |
| [04:12] | I was waiting for the right time | 我一直在等一个好时机 |
| [04:12] | and this seemed like I’d slip it in. | 这种时候最好开口了 |
| [04:14] | You should want to marry me to marry me, | 你得为了娶我而娶我 |
| [04:16] | not just to hop on my plan. | 而不是为了蹭我的养老金 |
| [04:18] | I don’t want to hop on anyone’s plan. | 我没想蹭别人的养老金 |
| [04:20] | I want to hop on you for life, right? | 我只是为了生活傍上你 |
| [04:22] | – As my lady. – So this is how you would propose? | -我的女人 -这就是你求婚的方式 |
| [04:25] | Dear Amy, I want to hop on you… | 亲爱的小美 我想傍你 |
| [04:27] | – Oh my god. – …and your insurance plan. | -天啊 -蹭你的保险计划 |
| [04:29] | If I phrase it like that, | 如果我这样求婚 |
| [04:30] | I wouldn’t blame you for saying no. | 你拒绝 我不会怪你的 |
| [04:31] | Whatever. Just be back by 7:00. | 随便 七点前回来就行 |
| [04:33] | We’re having dinner with my sister. | 我们要和我妹吃饭 |
| [04:34] | All right, I’ll be back. | 好的 我会按时回来 |
| [04:35] | I’m just going over to Jersey. It’s right there. | 去泽西而已 就在附近 |
| [04:50] | North Jersey really covers a wide area, doesn’t it? | 北泽西真的好大啊 不是吗 |
| [04:57] | How much longer do you think? | 你觉得还要等多久 |
| [04:58] | Oh, don’t worry, honey. You’re next. | 别担心 亲爱的 下一个就是你 |
| [05:01] | I’ve been next for an hour and three minutes. | 我已经当了一小时零三分钟的下一个了 |
| [05:03] | Yeah, he’s got a very important meeting. | 是的 他有个很重要的会议 |
| [05:05] | It’s obviously running a little long. | 显然有点长 |
| [05:08] | – Thank you so much for talking to me, doctor. – Thank you so much. | -非常感谢您陪我聊天 -非常感谢 |
| [05:11] | – Are you kidding? – I just wish I had more time | -开玩笑吗 -真希望还能多 |
| [05:13] | to talk to you about the benefits of Xymadisil. | 跟你谈谈”乌鸡白凤丸”的好处 |
| [05:15] | Oh, so do I. | 我也是哦 |
| [05:17] | You might have to come back and tell me about those clinical trials. | 你可能还得来给我讲讲临床测试结果 |
| [05:20] | And if those people keep dying. | 那些人是不是死个没完 |
| [05:22] | What’s going on here? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [05:24] | – I just hope it made you think about the… – Zup. | -我只是希望这能让你考虑下 -什么 |
| [05:26] | – the… about… Xymadisil. – Oh… me… Zup. | -考虑下”乌鸡白凤丸” -我考虑什么 |
| [05:28] | – You are so bad. – Should I start walking into the room? | -你太坏了 -我能起身进屋了吗 |
| [05:30] | – You are so bad. – Should I just walk in? | -你才坏 -我能进去吗 |
| [05:32] | You should be punished for pushing these samples on me. | 你把这些样品推给我得受罚啊 |
| [05:33] | You know what? You should be punished for trying to be so silly. | 你这么傻才该受罚呢 |
| [05:35] | Tim… Tim… | 小炯 小炯 |
| [05:37] | I’d like to punish you for silliness. | 我很乐意惩罚你的愚蠢 |
| [05:38] | You’re silly. Tickle fight. | 你才笨 挠痒痒大战 |
| [05:40] | Stop it! | 别挠了 |
| [05:41] | – Stop it. – Hey, it’s time for Tim. | -别闹了 -该轮到小炯了 |
| [05:45] | I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [05:46] | – Hey, Fancy. – Hey, it’s me. | -凡希 -正是 |
| [05:48] | – No, Tim. Tim. – Fancy Tim. | -不 是小炯 小炯 -凡希·小炯 |
| [05:50] | Don’t call me that. | 别这么叫我 |
| [05:51] | It’s good to see you. What’s wrong? | 真高兴见到你 你怎么了 |
| [05:52] | Remember I said abdominal pain? You were gonna check it out. | 记得我说的腹痛吧 你说要给检查下 |
| [05:54] | Oh, right right. Let’s get you in here. Tummyache. | 对的对的 快进屋 肚子痛 |
| [05:56] | – Let’s check it out. – Hey, Dr. B.J. | -咱来查个清楚 -B.J.大夫好 |
| [05:58] | Kelly. | 凯利 |
| [05:59] | – What’s happening? – Tell me everything. | -怎么回事 -把一切都告诉我 |
| [06:01] | I wonder if I might have a word with you… | 我想能不能跟你聊聊 |
| [06:02] | – You might have a million words words with me. – …about a very | -你跟我有说不完的话 -一系列 |
| [06:04] | promising new set of studies concerning Exonerol. | 针对”鸡血丸”的很有前景的研究 |
| [06:07] | – Studies are my vice. – Tim’s on deck here. Tim’s on deck. | -研究是我的弱项 -该小炯了 该小炯了 |
| [06:10] | What are you wearing? | 你穿的什么 |
| [06:12] | Just a little bustier underneath a blazer. | 夹克里面就是紧身胸衣 |
| [06:14] | All right, Kelly, get in there. | 好的 凯利 进屋吧 |
| [06:16] | – Oh my god. – Fancy, I’m really sorry about this. | -天啊 -凡希 真是对不起 |
| [06:18] | -It’s been… – This is important. I’ll be back in a minute. | -已经 -这很重要 我很快就来 |
| [06:20] | – 10 minutes? Five minutes? – I’ll be back in a minute. | -10分钟 5分钟 -很快就来 |
| [06:27] | – Can I ring the bell? – I see you. | -我能摁铃吗 -我看着你呢 |
| [06:29] | I can see you. | 我能看到你 |
| [06:31] | Well, doctor, | 大夫 |
| [06:32] | Exonerol and I look forward to doing more business with you. | “鸡血丸”和我都希望能与你有更多合作 |
| [06:35] | You know, I think I might need to see a little more research. | 我想我得再多看点研究 |
| [06:38] | Oh? Do you want me to come back later? | 你希望我晚点再来吗 |
| [06:40] | No, I actually need to see more convincing clinical research | 不 我真的需要看到更可靠的临床研究 |
| [06:43] | before I feel comfortable prescribing this to my patients. | 这样我才能安心把它开给我的病人 |
| [06:46] | Are you kidding me? | 你开玩笑吗 |
| [06:47] | After all of that you’re not gonna buy this drug? | 经历了所有那些 你却不买这药 |
| [06:49] | – You have seizures as a side effect. – Yeah. | -这药有抽搐的副作用 -是的 |
| [06:50] | I hate to interrupt the business transaction here, | 我不想打断你俩的交易 |
| [06:53] | – But I have a 7:00 p.m. Dinner back in New York. – Are you kidding? | -但我得七点前得赶回纽约 -开玩笑 |
| [06:56] | Are you kidding right now? Mommy and daddy are talking. | 你在开玩笑吗 大人谈话呢 |
| [06:58] | – I have dinner. – Okay, fine. What are your symptoms? | -我有个晚餐 -好吧 你有什么症状 |
| [07:01] | – Shouldn’t we get me up on the bench or something? – No no no. | -我不用站起来之类吗 -不用 不用 |
| [07:04] | Let’s go in the room. Let’s go in the private room. | 咱们进屋谈吧 进你屋里谈 |
| [07:06] | I don’t need to go in the room. Thought you were in a hurry, man. | 我不需要进屋 你比较着急嘛 兄弟 |
| [07:09] | – Bloated, gassy stomach. – Any blood in your B.M.S? | -胃胀气 -有血便吗 |
| [07:12] | – Oh god. – No. | -恶 -没有 |
| [07:14] | – Have you had a hurty poo? – You’re the worst doctor. | -拉屎疼吗 -你真是最差劲的大夫 |
| [07:16] | – How old are you? – 25. | -你多大 -25 |
| [07:17] | Okay, time for your diagnosis. You’re 25, you’re fine. | 好了 诊断出来了 你才25 身体倍儿棒 |
| [07:19] | Nothing can be wrong with you when you’re 25. | 25岁的时候不会有啥毛病 |
| [07:21] | – You’re 25, you’re fine? – Yeah, and a pussy. | -25岁就不会生病吗 -正解 牢骚男 |
| [07:23] | Can I tell you something? | 我能插句话吗 |
| [07:24] | You’re wasting your time with this asshole. | 跟这个混蛋讲理简直就是白费唇舌 |
| [07:26] | – I’m not an asshole. – He lies to people. | -我不是混蛋 -他满嘴谎言 |
| [07:27] | I don’t. | 才不是呢 |
| [07:28] | – He does. – He uses them. | -就是的 -还利用别人 |
| [07:29] | And I frankly question whether or not he’s a real doctor. | 老实说 我都怀疑他是个江湖郎中 |
| [07:32] | – I’m out of here. – Thank you, that’s what I was thinking. | -我得走了 -谢谢 我也是这么想的 |
| [07:34] | May I ask you do you need a ride back to new york? | 请问 你需要搭便车回纽约吗 |
| [07:36] | You seem like a really nice guy. | 你看上去是个好人 |
| [07:37] | That’s actually fantastic. | 真是太好了 |
| [07:42] | – Wow, this is a nice car. – Oh, thanks. | -真是名车配美人啊 -多谢夸奖 |
| [07:45] | Should you be taking those while you drive? | 开车的时候嗑药合适吗 |
| [07:48] | I’m sorry, that was rude. Do you want one? | 真抱歉 我就顾自己爽了 你想来一片吗 |
| [07:49] | – Me? – Yeah, for your abdomen. | -我 -能治你的肚子痛哦 |
| [07:51] | Oh, you were listening? | 你听到我之前说的话了 |
| [07:52] | Yeah, I was worried about you. | 是啊 我很担心你的病情呢 |
| [07:54] | And exonerol, don’t be worried because it’s a very mild drug. | 鸡血丸 药性温和 完全无后顾之忧 |
| [07:57] | It’s a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor or S.S.I. | 主要成分为选择性血清再吸收抑制剂 简称SSI |
| [08:00] | Used to treat pain, depression, anxiety disorders, | 可用于治疗疼痛 抑郁 焦虑症 |
| [08:02] | obsessive-compulsive disorders, | 强迫症 |
| [08:04] | certain eating disorders and premenstrual dysphoric disorder. | 某些饮食失调症 以及经期前焦虑症 |
| [08:06] | Wow, who needs a doctor? | 有这灵药 还要医生干嘛 |
| [08:08] | – Yeah, right? – We got Kelly. | -就是啊 -凯利出马 一个顶俩 |
| [08:09] | Plus, doctors don’t give you presents. What? | 还有 医生可不会附赠礼物哦 瞧瞧 |
| [08:13] | – Presents? – One free exonerol t-shirt. | -礼物 -免费的鸡血丸T恤 |
| [08:15] | – I love it. – And, are you ready for this? | -我爱死了 -还有更妙的呢 |
| [08:17] | – A limited edition exonerol ipod nano. – Really? | -限量版鸡血丸ipod -真的假的 |
| [08:21] | Most of the songs on this nano are Dave Matthew’s. | 里面大多都是大卫·马修的歌 |
| [08:23] | – You like him? – Yeah, I love him. | -你很迷他吗 -死忠粉 |
| [08:25] | So tell me more. You always interested in medicine? | 话说 从事医药行业是你的夙愿吗 |
| [08:27] | I wasn’t. I actually used to be a dancer. | 才不是呢 我曾经是个舞女 |
| [08:30] | What kind of dance? | 跳什么舞的 |
| [08:31] | I actually used to dance at a place in South Jersey. | 我曾在新泽西南部一家酒吧跳舞 |
| [08:33] | It’s called chicky’s wing house. | 叫做”妓池”肉林 |
| [08:35] | Great wings, first of all. | 不得不说 那儿的鸡翅味道很棒 |
| [08:36] | And then there’s a bar where they serve them | 还有很大的吧台 客人都在那里喝酒 |
| [08:37] | and I would get on the bar and dance. | 我就站在吧台上尽情跳舞 |
| [08:39] | How did that springboard you into the medical field? | 你后来怎么又投身医药界了呢 |
| [08:41] | Funny story, Tim. So I was doing my wing dance | 说来话长啊 小炯 有一天我正在热舞 |
| [08:44] | and a gentleman reaches up | 一个男人蹭了上来 |
| [08:46] | and he grabbed my ass really hard. | 狠狠地抓了一把我的屁股 |
| [08:49] | And he said, “With an ass like that, | 然后说 天赋翘臀 |
| [08:51] | you should be working at my drug company.” | 不来我的医药公司工作真是可惜了 |
| [08:53] | That is a great story. | 真是个精彩的故事 |
| [08:54] | Yeah, and that’s the windy way life brings you. | 生活中充满种种奇妙的际遇 |
| [08:57] | One day you’re dancing on wings | 前一天还在吧台上跳舞 |
| [08:59] | and the next you’re selling pills. | 第二天却成了卖药女郎 |
| [09:01] | So don’t worry, Tim. | 所以别担心 小炯 |
| [09:02] | You’re gonna figure your shit out. | 阴霾和不快只是过眼云烟 |
| [09:03] | I think your phone is ringing. | 好像是你的电话在响 |
| [09:05] | It’s B.J. I’m gonna answer. | 是B.J. 我必须得接 |
| [09:07] | I’ll put it on speaker. It’ll be fun. Hello? | 用外音接吧 会更有趣的 喂 |
| [09:09] | Where’s my car, Kelly? | 我的车哪儿去了 凯利 |
| [09:09] | Tim and I are driving it right now, asshole. | 我和小炯正开着呢 混蛋 |
| [09:12] | – What? – His car? | -什么 -是他的车吗 |
| [09:13] | – We’re halfway to New York. – You guys stole my car? | -都快到纽约了 -你俩居然偷了我的车 |
| [09:15] | – No no, we didn’t steal. – Oh yes we did. | -不 我们没偷 -偷了又怎么样 |
| [09:17] | What the hell is this about, Kelly? | 你这算什么 凯利 |
| [09:18] | Is this about Exonerol? | 就因为我没进购你的鸡血丸吗 |
| [09:19] | All I had was concerns about the methodology of the trials, okay? | 我只是担心这药在临床使用上的安全性 |
| [09:22] | Really? Maybe you should have thought about that before you fucked me. | 是吗 你搞我之前怎么不想到这一点 |
| [09:25] | That didn’t have anything to do with Exonerol. | 那件事和鸡血丸毫无关系 |
| [09:27] | That was because you have hot tits. | 那是因为你的巨乳让我想入非非 |
| [09:29] | When you fuck me, you fuck Exonerol. | 你搞了我 就等于搞了鸡血丸 |
| [09:31] | This drug is who I am. | 我就是药 药就是我 |
| [09:32] | Well, then exonerol is boring. | 是吗 “鸡血丸”真他妈无趣 |
| [09:35] | – Exonerol just sits there and does nothing. -Oh, really? | -“鸡血丸”躺在我身下跟死鱼一样 -是吗 |
| [09:38] | I don’t need to hear all this. | 真黄真暴力 叫我情何以堪 |
| [09:39] | Being fucked by you felt like | 你的”小小鸟”在我身体里 |
| [09:41] | getting stuffed inside with a soft croissant. | 简直跟超级软面包一样 |
| [09:43] | If you want to take it off speaker, that’s fine with me. | 不如你关了外音吧 我不介意的 |
| [09:45] | No,Tim, you need to hear this. | 不 小炯 你给我好好听着 |
| [09:46] | I need you to hear this. This is life. | 你也给我好好听着 这就是生活 |
| [09:48] | Oh my god. | 老天啊 |
| [09:49] | You got problems, Kelly, big time problems. | 你神经不正常 凯利 脑子坏掉了 |
| [09:51] | I knew it when I met you at the strip club. | 我在脱衣舞夜总会见到你时就知道 |
| [09:52] | I knew it when I met you on the street that time | 后来发生的事更确定了我的看法 |
| [09:54] | when you gave me cocaine. | 你居然在大街上给我毒品 |
| [09:55] | He’s got a good point. | 他好像说得挺对的 |
| [09:56] | You’re never gonna have to see me again. | 你永远也别想再见到我了 |
| [09:58] | – Great. – Or Tim. | -很好 -还有小炯 |
| [09:59] | – Fantastic. – Or your car. | -求之不得 -还有你的车 |
| [10:01] | Because we are driving it off the G.W. Bridge. | 因为我们要开着它冲下华盛顿大桥 |
| [10:03] | Isn’t that right, Tim? | 是吧 小炯 |
| [10:04] | No no. We’re taking the tunnel. | 不 不 我们走过江隧道 |
| [10:05] | Tim, up top. I wanna a high-five from you, Tim, right now. | 小炯 来 跟姐击掌庆祝一下 快 |
| [10:07] | – I’m not high-fiving about suicide. -You know what? | 我才不要为自杀击掌庆祝呢 |
| [10:09] | If I never see the two of you again and it costs me a car, | 如果损失我的车可以让我再也不用见到你们 |
| [10:12] | – Worth it. – Fine. Goodbye. | -值了 -很好 再见 |
| [10:13] | – Goodbye. Click. – See you underwater. | -永别了 脑残女 -水下见 |
| [10:15] | – Goodbye. – Click. | -永别了 -搞定 |
| [10:18] | – Give me the keys. Give me your license. – Absolutely not. | -把车钥匙给我 还有你的驾照 -不可能 |
| [10:20] | We are driving off this bridge, Tim, | 我们要冲下大桥 小炯 |
| [10:22] | Thelma and Louise style. | 像《末路狂花》里那样 |
| [10:23] | You and me, two sisters bonded. | 你和我 生死姐妹花 |
| [10:26] | – Watch the road. – Fuck you! | -看着点儿路 -去你妈的 |
| [10:29] | These drivers are the worst. | 那些驾驶员简直是马路杀手 |
| [10:30] | If you’re gonna kill yourself, | 如果你想寻死 |
| [10:31] | you could just pull over and you could– | 你能不能先停车 然后 |
| [10:33] | – And what? – You got a bucket full of exonerol there. | -然后什么 -你车上有一箱鸡血丸呢 |
| [10:35] | – O.D. on pills? – Yeah. | -嗑药后的精神错乱? -是啊 |
| [10:37] | No, we’re going out in style. | 不 我们死也要死的有个性 |
| [10:38] | Remember what I said earlier? | 还记得我之前说的话吗 |
| [10:39] | Your life takes you different pathways. | 生活中处处充满奇妙的际遇 |
| [10:41] | This is yours. | 你改变人生的时刻到了 |
| [10:42] | This is my guy grabbing-my-ass- at-a-wings-place moment? | 就如同你在”妓池”肉林被人扭屁股那一刻吗 |
| [10:45] | Exactly. Savor it, Tim. Savor it. | 别无二致 好好享受吧 小炯 |
| [10:50] | Good afternoon. Hello there. | 下午好啊 各位 |
| [10:52] | This is Carol with onstar. | 我是车载信息系统的卡罗 |
| [10:54] | – Hi, Carol. – Carol, you need to save my life. | -你好啊 卡罗 -卡罗 救命啊 |
| [10:56] | I just wanted to let you know that the car you’re driving | 我想通知两位 你们所驾驶的车辆 |
| [10:58] | – has been reported as stolen. – Yes! | -已被申报失窃 -是的 |
| [11:00] | And onstar has been authorized to immobilize the vehicle. | 系统已被授权关闭汽车引擎 |
| [11:04] | – Do it! Take us out. – Not a chance, bitch. | -关吧 拯救我们一命吧 -妄想 贱人 |
| [11:06] | Now before I go ahead and stop the car, | 在我关闭汽车发动器之前 |
| [11:07] | do you have time for just a quick survey? | 二位有时间接受一项小调查吗 |
| [11:09] | No, we’re about to die. | 不 我们要去见阎王了 |
| [11:11] | Move it, dickhead! | 让开点儿 傻逼 |
| [11:12] | How satisfied were you with your onstar experience today? | 二位对车载系统今日的服务还满意吗 |
| [11:15] | On a scale of one to 10 with one being not at all… | 按1到10分计算 1表示极度不满意 |
| [11:18] | Oh my god. | 老天啊 |
| [11:18] | – Carol! -…and 10 being extremely satisfied… | -卡罗 -10分表示非常满意 |
| [11:21] | – Moderately! Moderately ! – I’d appreciate all 10s. | -满意 满意 -希望二位能全部打非常满意 |
| [11:23] | Tim, do you want upper level or lower level? | 小炯 你想走桥上还是桥下 |
| [11:25] | – Somewhat satisfied. – Upper level or lower to die? | -基本满意吧 -走桥上还是桥下 |
| [11:28] | Carol, we’re gonna die here. | 卡罗 我们要死在这儿了 |
| [11:29] | – Go ahead and just say 10. – 10. | -不想死就给我打10分 -10分 |
| [11:30] | – I do appreciate it. – Okay, we going upper. Good idea, tim. | -十分感谢 -小炯 我们走桥上吧 |
| [11:33] | – And again, my name is Carol. – Immobilize. | -重申一次 我的名字叫卡罗 -快关停吧 |
| [11:35] | I hope you have a great day. | 希望二位一天愉快 |
| [11:35] | Hold my hand, Louise! | 抓住我的手吧 路易斯 |
| [11:41] | Fuck! | 操 |
| [11:43] | Carol. Carol saved the day. | 卡罗 是卡罗拯救了我们 |
| [11:58] | – Oh, that was– – that was something else. | -刚刚简直是 -简直出乎意料啊 |
| [12:01] | That was something else. We almost drove off the G.W. Bridge, Tim. | 简直是千钧一发 我们差点冲出了华盛顿大桥 |
| [12:04] | – We did. – You know what else was something else? | -是啊 -出乎意料的可不止这一件事呢 |
| [12:06] | The fact that you suggested I kill myself. | 你居然让我去死 |
| [12:09] | No no, I just said why not kill yourself | 不 不 我只是说 如果你想寻死的话 |
| [12:12] | and not me too? | 别拉着我陪葬 |
| [12:14] | – Yeah, how selfish is that? – No no. | -是啊 你他妈真自私 -不 不是的 |
| [12:15] | I’m done with it, Tim, and I’m done with you. | 我不想说了 小炯 我俩玩完了 |
| [12:17] | – I’m starting my life over, all right? – Yeah. | -我要重新开始新生活 懂吗 -懂 |
| [12:19] | but not if I get caught up in this mess. | 但前提是我不能被抓进局子里去 |
| [12:21] | Here, this is the plan. | 听好我的计划 |
| [12:23] | I saw a guy do it once on “Cops.” | 《警察》那部剧里有人就这么做的 |
| [12:24] | That’s not how good plans come to life. | 我怎么听着这么悬啊 |
| [12:26] | We’re both gonna get out the passenger sideoor. | 我们两个都从副驾驶座的门下车 |
| [12:28] | That way they’re not gonna | 那样的话他们就无法证明 |
| [12:29] | be able to prove who was actually driving. | 到底是谁在开车 |
| [12:30] | – No, I don’t agree to this. – Yeah, I’m going over you. | -不 我坚决反对 -我趴在你身上 |
| [12:32] | – I’m going over you – Oh, easy. | -我要趴在你身上 -压死我了 |
| [12:34] | Watch your hands! | 别趁机揩油 |
| [12:35] | Tim, the time for making a pass at me has long since passed. | 小炯 姐的豆腐已经凉了 你别想再吃了 |
| [12:38] | – What are you doing? – Stop grabbing me. | -你干什么呢 -把手从我身上拿开 |
| [12:40] | – Uh-oh, – ooops. | -大事不好 -不妙 |
| [12:43] | All right all right, which one of you was operating the vehicle? | 给我老实交代 事故发生前是谁在开车 |
| [12:46] | – He was. – Her. | -是小炯 -是她 |
| [12:47] | Are you kidding? You think I’m stupid? | 开什么玩笑 以为我是菜鸟警察吗 |
| [12:49] | – I wasn’t driving. – Officer, if I could just interrupt. | -不是我在开 -警官大哥 能让我插句话吗 |
| [12:51] | I am a medical professional. | 我是个医疗专家 |
| [12:53] | – So I should really go see if anyone is hurt. – Really? | -我可以帮忙看看有没有人受伤 -开什么玩笑 |
| [12:55] | – It’s the hippocrat oath. – You’re a medical professional? | -这是做医生的神圣职责 -你是个医疗专家 |
| [12:57] | – Yes. – All right, I believe you. | -正是 -好吧 我信你 |
| [12:59] | Take care, Tim. | 小心点儿 小炯 |
| [13:00] | She’s not really a medical professional. | 她才不是什么医疗专家呢 |
| [13:01] | She used to dance at chippy’s chicken shack. | 她曾经是”鸡翅”肉林的舞女 |
| [13:05] | Chicky’s wing house, asshole! | 是妓池肉林 混蛋 |
| [13:06] | Now let me ask you a question. Are you fucked up? | 让我问你个问题 你是不是脑袋不清醒啊 |
| [13:08] | – Are you on drugs? – You got the wrong idea. | -你是不是嗑药了 -你完全搞错了 |
| [13:11] | – What’s all this by your feet, huh? – Exonerol. | -你脚下那些是什么玩意儿呢 -鸡血丸 |
| [13:15] | – Like the word on your shirt. – It was a gift. | -你T恤上还明目张胆地印着呢 -这是份礼物 |
| [13:17] | You keep these in your shoes? You one of those? | 你把药藏在鞋里吗 你是毒品贩子吗 |
| [13:19] | – Does anyone need medical attention? – Uh, you know what? | -有人需要医疗救助吗 -天助我也 |
| [13:23] | While you’re here, yeah, I do. | 反正你都来了 来救我吧 |
| [13:25] | I need medical help, if it’s not too much trouble. | 我需要医疗救助 如果不太麻烦您的话 |
| [13:28] | All right, boy, we got one. Let’s move it. | 好的 兄弟 下面有一个 飞过去 |
| [13:30] | Let’s go. Let’s get him on the gurney. | 快点 将他抬到轮床上 |
| [13:32] | I want his neck stabilized. Get me a drip going. | 我需要固定他的脖子 准备好静脉输液 |
| [13:34] | – 400cc. – Nice. Whoops. | -400毫升 -很好 |
| [13:36] | Okay, here we go. Walk me through it, sir. | 好了 搞定 说说你现在的感觉 |
| [13:38] | Tell me exactly what happened. | 告诉我究竟发生了什么 |
| [13:41] | Got a weird bloated feeling. | 我感觉腹胀难受 |
| [13:44] | Little gassy, you know? | 忍不住放屁 你懂吧 |
| [13:47] | Constipated, sir? | 是便秘吗 先生 |
| [13:48] | Yeah, you could say that. you could say that. | 对 就那么回事儿 说得太对了 |
| [13:49] | Ex-lax, sir. Not a helicopter. | 泻药 先生 你需要的不是直升机 |
| [13:52] | – Ex-lax is what I would tell you to take. – All right. | -你需要服用泻药 -好吧 |
| [13:54] | – Hope you have good insurance. – Yeah? | -但愿你有医疗保险 -此话怎讲 |
| [13:56] | Every time we land the chopper it’s $15,000. | 直升机停下救援一次需要您支付15000块 |
| [14:10] | yi-dee-dee-to, yi-dee-dee-to | 洗呀洗呀洗澡澡 宝宝金水少不了 |
| [14:13] | Stu is in the shower, he’s looking out for water | 司徒宝宝洗澡澡 热水从那头上浇 |
| [14:17] | yi-dee-dee-to, yi-dee-dee-to | 洗呀洗呀洗澡澡 宝宝金水少不了 |
| [14:20] | oh, Stu can feel it, oh, he can feel it. | 司徒宝宝爽歪歪 司徒宝宝爽歪歪 |
| [14:24] | “Beverly hills cop” Shower. | 比弗利山警探洗了一个爽爽澡 |
| [14:29] | Hey, buddy, you don’t see a | 哥们儿 有没有看到 |
| [14:31] | duffle bag floating around out there, do you? | 这儿躺了一个运动背包 |
| [14:32] | The only bag I see is like a douche. | 我好像只看到一个喷头 |
| [14:37] | Your face is a douchebag. | 你的脸像个灌洗包 |
| [14:40] | Wow, you’re like the Don Rickles of meatheads, huh? | 你可真是脑残版的唐·里克斯 |
| [14:43] | If you look at my cock, I will pound your face. | 敢看我的鸡巴 打扁你的脸 |
| [14:46] | This is why I don’t work out. | 所以我一直不去健身 |
| [14:55] | That was a great brunch. I’m stuffed. | 这顿饭真赞 撑死我了 |
| [14:57] | That was good. Your friend is a little annoying. | 高兴就好 就是你朋友有点烦 |
| [14:59] | – But good place. – Wait a second. | -那地方倒还不错 -等等 |
| [15:02] | – Don’t tell me you screwed up. – You forgot to shut the door? | -别说这次是你 -你忘了锁门了 |
| [15:04] | Don’t tell me amy forgot to lock it. | 小美 别告诉我你忘锁门了 |
| [15:06] | – Tim. – Stay close. | -小炯 -跟紧我 |
| [15:08] | – You want to get in front of me? – No. | -想走我前面吗 -不想 |
| [15:12] | – Hey. – Oh, hey, man. | -嘿 -好啊 老兄 |
| [15:14] | – Do we know you? – My name is doug. | -我们认识你吗 -我叫狗三 |
| [15:16] | – Now you know me. – Are you robbing us? | -现在认识了吧 -你怎么进来的 |
| [15:18] | – And you are? – What the hell are you doing in our apartment? | -怎么可能 -你闯入我们家想干什么 |
| [15:21] | I was just trying on your topsiders. | 我正在试穿你的平底鞋 |
| [15:23] | – But you know what? – What? | -但你知道吗 -啥 |
| [15:25] | I realize I shouldn’t be here right now. | 我觉得现在该走了 |
| [15:27] | So I’m just gonna put down these shoes. | 所以我要把鞋换下来了 |
| [15:29] | We’re calling the police. | 我们要叫警察 |
| [15:30] | – You’re gonna stay there. – He’s getting up. | -你哪也去不了 -他要走了 |
| [15:32] | Hold on. I’m gonna borrow these dvds and this toaster oven. | 还有 我想借这些DVD和烤箱一用 |
| [15:34] | – Tim, do something. – What am I gonna do? | -小炯 别傻站着 -我该怎么办 |
| [15:38] | – Tackle him. – Wait, whoa. | -抓住他 -别激动 |
| [15:39] | – I don’t tackle people. – Something. | -我没抓过人 -快动手啊 |
| [15:41] | – He’s intruding in your home. – Don’t do anything like that. | -他闯进你家偷东西 -别动手 和气点 |
| [15:44] | You can’t come up with something to do? | 你居然没招儿对付他 |
| [15:45] | Technically I’m your guest. | 我可是你们的客人哪 |
| [15:47] | Ow! Oh my god! | 疼 我的天 |
| [15:49] | – Ow, my fucking eye. – You happy? | -靠 我的眼睛 -爽了吧 |
| [15:53] | – What was that, a blueberry muffin? – It was. | -那是什么 蓝莓松饼 -没错 |
| [15:55] | – You asshole. – You want me to throw a fucking scone at your face? | -你个变态 – 还想吃点烤饼吗 |
| [15:57] | No, leave me alone. | 快离我远点 |
| [15:59] | – A muffin? – Just protecting my family. | -松饼 -该出手时就出手 |
| [16:03] | You should have a lesson on how to treat guests. | 你得好好学习如何招待客人 |
| [16:06] | – You’re not a guest. – Yes I am. | -你哪是客人 -怎么不是 |
| [16:07] | I am a guest. You don’t know how to be a fucking host. | 当然是 你真他妈不是个好主人 |
| [16:10] | – Oh god. – What kind of robbery is this? | -天啊 -什么世道啊 |
| [16:15] | Come on, man. You’re hurting my face. | 大哥 弄疼我的脸了 |
| [16:17] | Shut up, you yuppie scumbag. | 给我闭嘴 你个小瘪三 |
| [16:20] | Thank you so much for taking care of this, officer. | 太感谢你帮忙了 长官 |
| [16:22] | – No problem. – I know I did the legwork | -小事一桩 -虽然为了抓他 我也跑了腿 |
| [16:24] | apprehending him, but thanks for taking over. | 但还是谢你能把事办了 |
| [16:26] | Breaking and entering is a serious crime | 擅闯民宅可是重罪 |
| [16:29] | and you could go to jail for two years. | 你得去蹲两年大狱了 |
| [16:33] | Hold on. I didn’t break or enter. | 等等 我可不是擅闯 |
| [16:35] | What are you talking about? | 啥意思 |
| [16:36] | I have the keys in my front pocket. | 我可是有钥匙的人 |
| [16:39] | What’s this? | 这是啥 |
| [16:40] | I got the keys from their friend | 我在健身房遇到他们一个 |
| [16:41] | that I met at the gym who likes to wear this shirt. | 喜欢穿这件T恤的朋友 |
| [16:45] | – He gave them to me. – Oh boy. | -是他给我钥匙的 -老天 |
| [16:47] | What is our address doing on these? | 上面怎么还有地址 |
| [16:49] | Yeah, I have a feeling you’re about to be unhappy with me. | 我猜你就会不高兴 然后骂我 |
| [16:51] | – I gave stu a set of keys. – That’s his name– Stu. | -我给了司徒一副钥匙 -就是他 司徒 |
| [16:55] | – Good old stu. – And you wrote our address on the set of keys? | -老友司徒 -你怎么能把地址写在上面 |
| [16:58] | Mmm, a lot of mistakes. Two mistakes. | 这下糟了 犯了两个大错误 |
| [17:01] | Okay, well, no matter what, we want to press charges. | 不管怎样 我们要起诉他 |
| [17:04] | – No can do. – What? | -不行 -为啥 |
| [17:06] | – You’re a cop. Arrest him. – No. | -你是警察 抓他 -别 |
| [17:07] | There was no forcible entry. So it may be awkward, | 他没有非法入侵 所以囧了 |
| [17:10] | but it’s not against the law once you have the keys. | 他既然有钥匙 就没法定罪 |
| [17:12] | No, you’ve got to arrest the guy obviously. | 但你必须逮捕他 |
| [17:14] | Look, do you see these hands? | 看我的手 |
| [17:17] | What are you doing? | 啥意思 |
| [17:17] | – You don’t get it? – No. | -没看懂 -不懂 |
| [17:19] | – They’re tied. Come on. – I got it. | -扯平了 -明白了 |
| [17:21] | – What, are you being cute? – I got it from the get-go. | -搞笑吧 -一开始就明白了 |
| [17:23] | – So you’re not gonna do anything? – I can’t. | -你就束手无策 -我没办法 |
| [17:25] | Legally doug here can help himself | 按法律讲 狗三可以随便 |
| [17:27] | to whatever’s in the fridge and use the facilities. | 吃冰箱里的食物 用这里的东西 |
| [17:29] | – No he can’t. – Doug: Really? | -怎么可能 -真的吗 |
| [17:31] | You take a piss, a dump. Take a bath. | 嘘嘘 便便 洗澡澡 |
| [17:33] | – You have full access once you have the keys. – Ooh, a bath. | -有了钥匙 一切自便 -我爱洗澡 |
| [17:35] | – What kind of cop are you? – This is insane! | -这是什么警察 -太假了 |
| [17:37] | Can I sleep in their bed? | 能睡他们的床吗 |
| [17:38] | – Legally you could do anything here. – Awesome. | -按法律讲 想干啥就干啥 -爽歪歪 |
| [17:44] | – Wow, that is creepy. – Isn’t it? | -靠 太吓人了 -可不 |
| [17:47] | Finding a dude in your apartment sniffing at your panties. | 回家发现有人正在闻你的内裤 |
| [17:51] | He didn’t do that. We have no verification of that happening. | 他可没那么做 至少我们没看到 |
| [17:53] | He got in there, went right for the underwear drawer. | 他可以啊 一进房门 直奔内裤抽屉 |
| [17:56] | – Don’t– don’t talk. – You’re gross. | -别说了 -你真恶心 |
| [17:59] | – And you’re retarded. – Excuse me? | -还有点脑残 -啥 |
| [18:02] | Why did you have our keys | 你怎么能傻到把钥匙 |
| [18:04] | in your stupid gym bag? | 放在运动背包里 |
| [18:06] | -You don’t even work out. -I do work out, amy. | -你都不健身的 -我当然健身了 小美 |
| [18:09] | Let’s just relax. You got to lay off the wine. | 消停一下 慢点喝别噎着 |
| [18:11] | We could have been, like, murdered to death. | 我们完全可能被谋杀了 |
| [18:13] | You guys are idiots. | 你们真是蠢货 |
| [18:15] | Mom, hi. It was horrible. | 娘啊 太恐怖了 |
| [18:19] | Wow, she’s like a lifetime special right now. | 现在看上去你命中注定要犯她了 |
| [18:21] | – Drunk, belligerent amy. – She is like my father. | -醉鬼泼妇 -跟我爹一样 |
| [18:24] | What are you wearing, by the way? | 顺便提一句 你穿的这是什么东西 |
| [18:26] | -This? You like my yellow suit? – I don’t. | -这个 喜欢我的黄马褂吗 -一点也不 |
| [18:28] | – It’s from the gym. – Oh boy. | -从健身馆里拿的 -老天 |
| [18:30] | Did I tell you that 90% of my wardrobe | 我有告诉过你我衣柜里90%的衣服要么 |
| [18:32] | Was stolen either from my brother or random duffles at the gym? | 是从我哥那偷的不然就是随便从健身馆里拿的 |
| [18:35] | – Lot of theft going on at that gym. – Yeah. | -看来那里小偷泛滥 -对头 |
| [18:37] | They should get some kind of locker system. | 他们该装一些储物柜什么的 |
| [18:39] | – Like lockers? – Oh, here she comes. | -比如储物柜 -她回来了 |
| [18:42] | – I feel so much better. – Nice. | -我感觉好多了 -很好 |
| [18:44] | She always says the right thing. | 妈妈说的总是对的 |
| [18:45] | What did she say? Trust Tim? | 她说什么了 相信小炯 |
| [18:47] | She just said, “Get a gun, sweetie. | 她说 买把枪 亲爱的 |
| [18:49] | And next time you just go ahead and shoot the cocksucker.” | 下回直接把那操蛋的给崩了 |
| [18:53] | – Your mom said that? – Yeah. | -你妈真这么说 -对 |
| [18:55] | Moms don’t say cocksucker. Very few of them do. | 妈妈们不说操蛋这种粗话 几乎不 |
| [18:57] | If we have a gun in the house we have nothing to be afraid of. | 如果我们家里有把枪就什么都不用怕了 |
| [19:00] | We’re not getting a gun. I’m the man of the house here. | 我们不会买枪 这个家里我说了算 |
| [19:03] | – Come on. – Didn’t I protect you? | -得了吧 -难道我没保护你吗 |
| [19:04] | Oh, with a blueberry muffin? | 就靠个蓝莓松饼 |
| [19:07] | In the right hands, a blueberry muffin can kill. | 只要使用得当 蓝莓松饼也能致人死地 |
| [19:12] | This is kind of a low-end gun shop. | 这家店卖的都是低档货 |
| [19:15] | – It looks fine. Just ring the bell. – All right. | -看上去不错 按铃叫人 -好吧 |
| [19:19] | – Oh shit. – Isn’t that dinger a hoot? | -操 -像不像全垒打的声音 |
| [19:21] | – No. – It’s like a gun. | -不像 -那就是像枪声了 |
| [19:23] | – How can I help you two? – We’re here to buy a gun. | -你们想买点什么 -我们来买枪 |
| [19:25] | Well, you have come to the right place. | 那你们来对地方了 |
| [19:28] | What kind of gun do you want? | 你们要什么枪 |
| [19:29] | How big? At are you trying to take down? | 多大把的 想要干掉什么家伙 |
| [19:31] | An intruder. A murderer. | 入侵者 谋杀犯 |
| [19:33] | – An intruder/murderer gun? – Slash rapist. | -专屠入侵者 谋杀犯的枪 -再加上色狼 |
| [19:35] | Honestly, we’re not even gonna ever shoot the thing. | 说实话我们根本不会用枪 |
| [19:37] | – It’s just for peace of mind. – Oh. | -只是拿来寻求心理安慰 -好吧 |
| [19:39] | Something to put in the closet and know it’s there. | 有把枪在橱柜里会比较淡定 |
| [19:41] | A decorative gun that could also kill a large man. | 功夫再强 也怕手枪 |
| [19:44] | – Well said. – All right. | -说得好 -好的 |
| [19:45] | I’m just gonna need your | 我需要看看 |
| [19:47] | driver’s license to do a background check | 你的驾照确认身份 |
| [19:49] | and I will give you your rapist gun, little lady. | 然后你就可以拿走你的屠狼枪了 |
| [19:52] | – Perfect. – Seems a little easy. | -好极了 这也太容易了 |
| [19:55] | What’s wrong? | 有啥问题 |
| [19:57] | The computer says you were convicted of a felony in college. | 电脑说你在大学里犯过重罪 |
| [20:01] | – Knife fight? – You were in a knife fight? | -持刀伤人 -你用刀伤过人 |
| [20:03] | – That was a felony? – Who am I dating? | -那也算重罪吗 -我在跟什么人约会 |
| [20:05] | – It was a game. – Wait, hold on. | -那不过是游戏而已 -等等 |
| [20:07] | – You said this felony was a game? – Well, yeah. | -你说那只是个游戏 -对头 |
| [20:10] | Like a sorority slumber party kind of stabbing game? | 就像是姐妹会里的游戏 |
| [20:13] | – Larry! – Exactly. | -拉里 -一点没错 |
| [20:15] | It sounds hilarious. There’s a way to do this. | 听上去挺好玩的 我有个办法 |
| [20:17] | Holy shit. | 饿滴神啊 |
| [20:18] | You could buy the gun and then just give it to her. | 可以用你的名字买枪然后把枪给她 |
| [20:21] | – I don’t want it in my name. – Just give me any name. | -我不想用我的名字 -随便给个名字都行 |
| [20:23] | It doesn’t have to be your name. Who said it had to be your name? | 不需要是真名 谁说了要用你真名 |
| [20:25] | That’s all the state of new york requires? | 这就是纽约州规定的吗 |
| [20:26] | As far as I know it is all the state of new york requires. | 据我所知规定就要求这么多 |
| [20:30] | Sam– sam– | 张 张 |
| [20:33] | – Sam Sanchez. – Yes. | -张三 -好的 |
| [20:34] | Sam Sam Sanchez. And look at that. | 张张三 让我们看看 |
| [20:38] | We’re in. Clean as a whistle. | 成了 一点案底都没有 |
| [20:39] | You kids are on your way to gunland. | 欢迎成为持枪一族 |
| [20:40] | This does not make me feel good about the way guns are sold. | 这种卖枪方式让我感觉很不好 |
| [20:45] | Well well well, it is now official. | 现在你有头衔了 |
| [20:48] | You are a gun-toting liberal. | 你是个持枪自由主义者了 |
| [20:50] | No, it’s just a little gun. | 那不过是把小手枪 |
| [20:51] | Did I hear that somebody here is a gun owner now? | 我是不是听到有人说这里有人持枪 |
| [20:53] | -Is this you? – Technically, yeah. | -是你吗 -原则上是的 |
| [20:54] | Welcome to the club, my friend. | 欢迎来我们俱乐部 朋友 |
| [20:56] | – Don’t welcome me just yet. – You own a gun? | -不用那么欢迎我 -你也有枪吗 |
| [20:58] | I grew up around guns. | 我拿着枪长大的 |
| [20:59] | I shot a chipmunk in the belly when I was six years old. | 我在六岁的时候用枪爆了只花栗鼠的肚子 |
| [21:01] | – I’ve just been hooked on guns ever since. – That’s awful. | -从此我就迷上枪了 -太恶心了 |
| [21:04] | If you ever want a shooting partner… | 如果你想要个射友 |
| [21:05] | No, I don’t ever plan on pulling the trigger. | 不 我连扳机都没想扣 |
| [21:08] | My girlfriend wanted it. | 是我女友想要的枪 |
| [21:09] | – You think you’re never gonna shoot it? – Never. | -你认为你不会开枪 -绝对不会 |
| [21:11] | Trust me, if you’ve got a gun on your nightstand | 相信我 如果你把枪放在床头柜 |
| [21:13] | calling to you, you’re gonna get curious. | 你会变得很好奇 |
| [21:15] | You’re gonna go up to your roof | 你会爬到屋顶 |
| [21:16] | and you’re gonna start shooting pigeons just for fun. | 然后开始打鸽子玩 |
| [21:18] | – Shooting them out of the air like I’m doing all the time. – No. | -把它们从天上打下来 我经常这么干 -不 |
| [21:20] | It’s great. You’re gonna start kicking doors down | 那感觉很爽 你会开始破门而入 |
| [21:22] | and rolling in there and ‘sorry ‘. I do that sometimes. | 然后跟人家道歉 我时不时这么干 |
| [21:28] | Coming up on the “News at 11:00”: | 以下播放的是11点新闻 |
| [21:30] | A man found dead in the Bronx; | 在布朗克斯区发现一名男子尸体 |
| [21:32] | Plus a rapist on the loose in Yonkers; | 杨科斯一名强奸犯在逃 |
| [21:36] | And a rapist on the loose in central park. | 中央公园一名强奸犯在逃 |
| [21:39] | Let’s get into it. | 下面是详细报道 |
| [21:40] | Let’s go to Jeanette Maslin who’s on the scene. | 由现场的简妮特·马斯林为您报道 |
| [21:42] | Hello? | 是谁 |
| [21:46] | Hello? | 谁呀 |
| [21:50] | Oh, fuck fuck fuck. | 操 操 操 |
| [21:54] | No! | 不要 |
| [22:03] | Hey, what are you doing down there, Bashko? | 巴斯克 你在那儿干嘛呢 |
| [22:05] | – Oh, tim. – Oh my god, you’re bleeding! | -小炯 -天啊 你受伤了 |
| [22:07] | I was changing the lock to the apartment | 我刚才正在换公寓的锁 |
| [22:09] | and then someone shot my foot. | 然后有人开枪射我的脚 |
| [22:11] | – Who? Who shot you? – I don’t fucking know. | -谁开的枪 -我他妈的不知道 |
| [22:13] | Where did the bullet come from? | 那子弹从哪边射过来的 |
| [22:15] | – From your apartment. – Oh my god. | -从你的公寓里 -天啊 |
| [22:18] | – Oh, god. – Amy, I’m coming for you. | -疼死俺嘞 -小美 我要进来啦 |
| [22:26] | I can’t believe I shot my boyfriend. | 不敢相信我居然开枪射我的男友 |
| [22:28] | – You shot me. – And me. | -你就是射了我 -还有我 |
| [22:30] | – Don’t forget about this fact of me. – And Bashko. | -可不能忘了这事 -和巴斯克 |
| [22:33] | I don’t know what to say. I just am… | 我不知道该怎么说 那时我 |
| [22:36] | So fucking sorry. | 太他妈的抱歉了 |
| [22:38] | – Language. – Yeah, the language, the shooting… | -注意措辞 -措辞 开枪 |
| [22:40] | – It’s not ladylike. – This is not ladylike. | -这不淑女 -说脏话可不淑女 |
| [22:42] | Sorry. I’m just so upset. | 抱歉 我太郁闷了 |
| [22:44] | I hate to say I told you so, | 我不想说我早就跟你说过 |
| [22:46] | But guess who told you so? | 但谁早就跟你说过来着 |
| [22:48] | – Don’t be so hard on her, man. – Who are you? | -别为难她了 伙计 -你是哪位 |
| [22:51] | I’m the nurse. At least she didn’t bite your dick off. | 我是护士 至少你的鸡鸡没有被她咬掉 |
| [22:53] | – What? – I mean, Johnson was. Could’ve been you. | -什么 -强纳森就是 搞不好就是你 |
| [22:57] | That’s a weird thing for a nurse to say. | 那些话出自一个护士之口感觉怪怪的 |
| [22:59] | – It’s a good point. – Amy, listen, we’re getting rid of the gun. | -说的在理 -小美 我们要把枪处理掉 |
| [23:02] | – But what if– – No, no what if. | -但万一 -没有万一 |
| [23:03] | – We’re getting rid of the gun. – Okay, but there’s always– | -我们要处理掉那枪 -好吧 但总会 |
| [23:06] | Gun gone. Gun out. | 不要枪 就是不要枪 |
| [23:09] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 听你的 |
| [23:11] | I kind of like this- you taking charge. | 我挺喜欢这样的 你做主 |
| [23:14] | It’s already making me feel safer. | 我现在很有安全感 |
| [23:16] | If you guys want to do it, I will pull the curtain closed. | 如果你们想要那啥我会把窗帘拉上 |
| [23:20] | But I will listen. | 但我会偷听哦 |
| [23:24] | You want to know why I | 你知道为什么我在婚礼上 |
| [23:26] | posed as a mariachi player at your wedding? | 打扮成墨西哥流浪乐队吗 |
| [23:28] | – Yes. – Jean, I may not really be mexican, | -当然 -简 我虽然不是真的墨西哥人 |
| [23:32] | But do you know what is real? My love for you. | 但你知道什么是真的吗 我对你的爱 |
| [23:35] | Really, Juan? | 真的吗 王 |
| [23:36] | I love you too. | 我也爱你 |
| [23:39] | My name’s not Juan, by the way. | 顺便说一句 我也不叫王 |
| [23:41] | – It’s Toby. | 我叫托比 |
| [23:47] | – That was nice. – Oh, that was great. | -电影真不错 -嗯 非常好看 |
| [23:49] | Should we get a drink or something? | 我们去喝点什么吧 |
| [23:51] | Sure. Let me run back inside and go to the bathroom. | 好啊 我回去里面上趟洗手间 |
| [23:53] | – Okay. – Could you hold on to this for me? | -好的 -帮我拿一下包包 |
| [23:55] | – What the hell is in there? – I’ll just take it. | -包里有什么 -还是我拿着好了 |
| [23:57] | Wait, no. Give me that. What? | 慢着 把包给我 这是什么 |
| [23:59] | You are one crazy lunatic, aren’t you? | 你就是个胡言乱语的疯子 不是吗 |
| [24:01] | – What do you mean? – You said you were getting rid of it. | -你什么意思 -你答应过把枪处理掉的 |
| [24:03] | We might have needed it tonight. | 说不定今晚有用呢 |
| [24:05] | You need a gun at a romantic comedy? | 看爱情喜剧要枪有什么用 |
| [24:08] | – You never know. – You don’t feel safe with me? | -世事难料 -你跟我在一起没安全感 |
| [24:10] | You don’t look at me as a human gun? | 我看起来不像枪一样犀利的男人吗 |
| [24:11] | Okay, all right. Give me the gun. | 好了 把枪给我 |
| [24:14] | – You talking to us? – Shut up, give me the gun, | -你在跟我们说话 -闭嘴 把枪交过来 |
| [24:16] | Give me your purse, give me your wallet. | 给我你的挎包 给我你的钱包 |
| [24:19] | – Don’t make me do it. – Don’t make you do what? | -别逼我 -逼你什么 |
| [24:20] | – What are you gonna do? – You can only push a guy so far. | -你想怎么样 -兔子急了也会咬人 |
| [24:22] | That’s why I’m gonna politely say, | 所以我接下来要礼貌地向你说 |
| [24:24] | “Why don’t you step down, cocksucker?!” | “给老子滚 狗杂种” |
| [24:27] | – Oh god. – Why are you laughing? | -老天呦 -你怎么还笑得出来 |
| [24:29] | – That was funny. – If you didn’t hear me, | -这真可笑 -如果你没听清 |
| [24:31] | I’d like you to just step the fuck back. | 我希望你他妈的给我滚 |
| [24:37] | – Tim. – I don’t have anymore clever phrases for you. | -小炯 -我对你没什么别的可说了 |
| [24:39] | What am I missing here? | 我错过了什么吗 |
| [24:40] | Listen, you just went to see a movie called | 你们刚才看了一部电影名叫 |
| [24:42] | “You’re the Juan that I want.” | “你就是我要的王” |
| [24:45] | People like you don’t shoot people. | 像你们这种人不会开枪的 |
| [24:47] | – Here it comes. – Very slowly taking the gun… | -这可不一定 -慢慢地把枪 |
| [24:50] | – Know what a bullet feels like? -… out of your hand. | -想尝尝子弹的滋味吗 -交出来 |
| [24:53] | And now it’s my gun. Now it belongs to me. | 现在枪是我的了 |
| [24:55] | – Now he has the gun. – He caught me by surprise. | -现在枪在他手上了 -他出其不意啊 |
| [24:57] | – Can you please give me your purse? – Unbelievable. | -可以麻烦你把挎包递给我吗 -难以置信 |
| [25:00] | That was embarrassing, tim. | 这太囧了 小炯 |
| [25:01] | – It wasn’t embarrassing, it was dramatic. | -这不囧 这叫戏剧性 |
| [25:03] | – It was embarrassing for you, man. – It was a standoff. | -我都为你感到囧 -这就是个僵局嘛 |
| [25:04] | – Standoff’s aren’t embarrassing. – I’m gonna get out of here. | -僵局怎么会囧呢 -我走了 |
| [25:07] | My mom’s cooking me dinner. | 我妈叫我回家吃饭 |
| [25:10] | Is it just me or is it ironic | 上次是偶然还是讽刺地 |
| [25:12] | that the muffin was a better crime deterrent than the gun? | 小松饼比枪能更好地遏制罪恶 |