| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Now you’re looking at a man that’s getting kinda mad. | *小炯最近很抓狂* |
| [00:09] | I had lots of luck but it’s all been bad | *天天霉运一箩筐* |
| [00:13] | No matter how I struggle and strive, | *发奋努力白劳碌* |
| [00:17] | I’ll never get out of this world alive | *老天从来不赏光* |
| [00:21] | My fishing pole’s broke, the creek is full of sand, | *鞋儿破来帽儿破* |
| [00:25] | My woman run away with another man. | *女朋友都不要我* |
| [00:29] | No matter how I struggle and strive, | *发愤努力白劳碌* |
| [00:33] | I’ll never get out of this world alive. | *老天从来不赏光* |
| [00:48] | Who is that guy? | 这是谁啊 |
| [00:50] | Ah, Percey. | 珀西啊 |
| [00:52] | Who is that guy? | 这是谁啊 |
| [00:55] | What can I do for you today over my breakfast? | 今天早餐时间我能为你做什么 |
| [00:57] | You can give me a huge enormous hug. | 你能给我个热情的拥抱 |
| [01:00] | – Pull up a chair. – Oh, thanks. | -坐下谈吧 -谢谢 |
| [01:01] | Listen, I just have one little favor to ask of you | 听着 我有个小小的请求 |
| [01:04] | – and then I’m out of here. – Shoot. Go ahead. | -之后我就不会烦你了 -快说 |
| [01:06] | Uh, I need something named after me. | 我想让有样东西以我命名 |
| [01:08] | Maybe a street or an airport. Bang, done. | 例如一条街 一座机场之类 |
| [01:11] | You– you need something named after you? | 你想要件以你命名的东西 |
| [01:14] | Yes, a street or an airport. Your call. Maybe a park. | 街道或机场 公园也行 |
| [01:16] | Why would I possibly do that? | 我为何要帮你呢 |
| [01:18] | I’m starting to think about my life | 我近来在反思人生 |
| [01:19] | And I want to be remembered as a great man. | 我要成为流芳百世的伟人 |
| [01:22] | Then I’d recommend that you do something great. | 那你得先做些丰功伟绩 |
| [01:26] | That hurts. Why would you hurt me? | 这话刺痛我了 你为什么戳我痛处 |
| [01:28] | Well, I’m– I’m just being honest. | 我只是实话实说 |
| [01:30] | I’ve done nothing. 52 years and I’ve done nothing. | 我52年来一事无成 |
| [01:34] | Dad! Can you hear me? | 爸 你听得到吗 |
| [01:37] | What have I done wrong? Where did I go wrong? | 我到底是做错了什么 |
| [01:43] | You’re right. I’m not good enough. | 你是对的 我做得不够好 |
| [01:45] | I should have caught that fly ball. | 我当年应该接到那高飞球的 |
| [01:48] | It was in my glove. | 煮熟的鸭子飞了 |
| [01:50] | Okay, you know what? If it’ll get you out of my office | 要是这样能把你打发走 |
| [01:52] | we can give you one of those honorary street names. | 我会考虑用你的名字给街道命名 |
| [01:55] | Really? Like the one you did for Regis? | 真的吗 就像你给里吉斯做的那样吗 |
| [01:56] | You’re a prominent black business leader | 你是一位卓越的商界黑人领导 |
| [01:58] | so it’s plausible on some level. | 还勉强说的过去 |
| [01:59] | We’ll just make it a low profile downtown block. | 就找块不出名的商业区吧 |
| [02:03] | I’ll take whatever I can get. This is an enormous honor. | 什么街都行 天大的荣誉呀 |
| [02:05] | Well, not really. You just cried and you begged | 谈不上荣誉 你刚又哭又闹的 |
| [02:08] | and spoke to your father on the floor. | 跪在地板上和父亲隔空对话 |
| [02:16] | Oh man, this is not– not my day. | 今天诸事不顺 |
| [02:18] | – How’d your interview go? – Not good. | -面试如何 -不好 |
| [02:20] | They checked my references. Marie mentions tittie-fucking. | 他们看了我的推荐信 马姐叫我乳交男 |
| [02:23] | Tanya calls me a little bitch. | 谭雅唤我作婊子 |
| [02:26] | They don’t want to hire you when they hear that kind of stuff. | 听到这种推荐公司要你就怪了 |
| [02:28] | You know, I can’t say that I’ve been looking for a job, | 我不能算一直在找工作 |
| [02:30] | but it’s been really frustrating. | 这让我很有挫败感 |
| [02:31] | Nothing has fallen into my lap. | 谁都不要我 |
| [02:34] | It’s obamacare. You know what I mean? | 这就是奥巴马医改政策导致的 |
| [02:36] | This country’s going in the wrong direction. | 国家政策错方向了 |
| [02:39] | The boss? | 梁老大的电话 |
| [02:40] | What the fuck is the boss calling me for? | 他打给我干嘛 |
| [02:43] | – Hello? – Hello? | -喂 -喂 |
| [02:45] | – Hello? – Boss? | -听得见吗 -梁老大 |
| [02:47] | – This is the boss. – You called me. | -我是梁老大 -你打给我的 |
| [02:51] | Leave a message at the beep. | 请在听到哔音后留言 |
| [02:53] | I’m just kidding. Beep. | 开个玩笑 哔 |
| [02:56] | Tim, it’s the boss. | 小炯 我是梁老大 |
| [02:57] | – I don’t miss this at all. – Hello? | -我听见了 -在吗 |
| [02:59] | – This kind of stuff. – Is this a recording? | -这些话 -这是录音吗 |
| [03:01] | Oh my god. What do you want? | 天呐 有何贵干 |
| [03:03] | I’m eating lunch with my unemployed friends. | 我在和同样失业的朋友们吃午餐 |
| [03:04] | Oh don’t. Put down your fork. | 别 把叉子放下 |
| [03:06] | How would you like to come have lunch with me? | 来和我共进午餐如何 |
| [03:08] | – Nah. – What if I told you | -不要 -如果我说 |
| [03:10] | That if you got here in 10 minutes, I’d have a job for you? | 你十分钟内赶来的话我就给你工作怎么样 |
| [03:13] | – You don’t say. – No, I said that. | -你不会说的 -我已经说了 |
| [03:16] | – I’m gonna be there in 10 minutes. – Yeah, 10 min– | -那我10分钟就到 -10分钟 |
| [03:18] | I’ve got to go, guys. Something better came up. | 我要走了 好事来了 |
| [03:21] | I’d be offended, | 我伤心了 |
| [03:22] | but it’s not hard to top this as far as invites go. | 但总比多请一个人吃饭强 |
| [03:25] | Here you go, boys. Jerky for breakfast. | 蠢蛋们的早饭来了 |
| [03:29] | Enjoy. | 好好享用 |
| [03:33] | Whoo. I am not a runner. | 我跑不动了 |
| [03:36] | I am not built for running. | 我不是跑步的料 |
| [03:39] | The fly falls into the spider’s web. | 有个来送死的了 |
| [03:44] | – Get up against the wall. – What? Why? | -贴着墙站好 -为什么 |
| [03:46] | – Get up against the wall. – I’m here to meet the boss. | -贴着墙站好 -我是来见梁老大的 |
| [03:48] | Yeah? Yeah well, you’re gonna meet me first, all right? | 那得先过我这关 |
| [03:50] | – Let go of my arm. – What are you doing with your hand? | -放开我的手臂 -你动什么动 |
| [03:52] | – What are you doing with your hand? – Nothing. | -你手在干什么 -没事 |
| [03:54] | Chicken wing, chicken wing. I’m chicken winging you. | 鸡翅膀 鸡翅膀 让你扇动鸡翅膀 |
| [03:56] | – This is a chicken wing. – What are you doing? | -这是只鸡翅 -那你在干嘛 |
| [03:58] | – What’s in the bag, punk? – A banana, a peach and my laptop. | -包里放了什么 -香蕉桃子和电脑 |
| [04:02] | Oh yeah? You taking a little attitude? | 态度放恭敬点 |
| [04:04] | – All right, here we go. – What are we doing? | -看着 -你要做什么 |
| [04:06] | – Pepper spray! Pepper spray! – Oh no! | -防狼喷雾 防狼喷雾 -不 |
| [04:08] | – That’s what you get. Feel that. – Oh my god! | -这就是你的下场 享受吧 -天 |
| [04:10] | – All right? – I’m blind, oh my god. | -如何 -我看不见了 天呐 |
| [04:12] | Freddy. Freddy. He’s with me. | 弗雷迪 我找他来的 |
| [04:15] | – All right, take care, guys. – You just back off. | -保重 伙计们 -你回去吧 |
| [04:17] | You keep an eye out for flash mobs. | 注意快闪族 |
| [04:19] | How’s it going, tim? | 感觉如何 小炯 |
| [04:21] | I’m blind. I can’t see. | 我瞎了 看不见 |
| [04:23] | Too blind to eat? | 瞎到吃不了饭吗 |
| [04:26] | There’s nothing funny about what just happened. | 刚才的事不好笑 |
| [04:28] | I know, I didn’t even see it so what am I laughing at? | 我都没看到 那我在笑什么 |
| [04:33] | Oh, tim. I’ve missed you too. | 小炯 我也想你了 |
| [04:35] | Is that why the tears are– I mean– | 你那些眼泪是… |
| [04:37] | It’s from the pepper spray. Remember? | 防狼喷雾造成的 记得吧 |
| [04:39] | Right, yes. That was a bit unfortunate. | 你真是倒霉 |
| [04:41] | So what’s going on? Am I getting my job back? | 所以我被重新录用了吗 |
| [04:43] | no, you were a complete incontinent boob. | 你是个彻头彻尾的傻蛋 |
| [04:45] | You’re not gonna get that job back. | 想都别想你的工作 |
| [04:46] | You said you had a job opportunity. That’s why I ran up here. | 你说有个工作机会我才赶来的 |
| [04:49] | Listen, let me ask you a quick question. | 听着 问你个问题 |
| [04:52] | Do you consider yourself to be like a strong clapper? | 你擅长鼓掌吗 |
| [04:56] | – Can I clap? – Yeah, clap. Give us a clap. | -鼓掌 -是的 鼓掌 试试看 |
| [04:58] | – I’m not gonna clap in here. – Give us a clap. | -我不要在这儿鼓掌 -来吧 |
| [05:00] | – You want me to clap? – Yeah yeah, and throw in a hoot. | -你叫我鼓掌 -顺便欢呼 |
| [05:02] | Maybe a holler. Something like that. | 叫喊也行 随便 |
| [05:04] | Like a proud black woman. Let’s hear some. | 像个自豪的黑女人 让我听听看 |
| [05:07] | That is good. | 不错 |
| [05:08] | What do you do? You get air in the middle of that? | 你在手心留出空气吗 |
| [05:09] | Just the way I hold my hands. | 我手平常就这么握着的 |
| [05:10] | That’s pretty good. That pretty pretty good. | 不错 真不错 |
| [05:12] | Okay, hoot. Hoot a bit. | 加一点欢呼吧 |
| [05:16] | – Yeah girl. – Fantastic. | -好女孩 -好极了 |
| [05:17] | Great. Well, you’re hired. | 很好 你被录取了 |
| [05:20] | To do what? I’m confused. | 做什么工作 我不太明白 |
| [05:22] | Listen, new york city is naming a block after me. | 纽约要用我命名一个街区 |
| [05:26] | – You? – Yeah me. | -你 -就是我 |
| [05:28] | Okay, so what do I– what’s my job? | 那我要干什么 |
| [05:30] | Oh well, I need you and | 我需要你和 |
| [05:31] | however many other homeless men you can round up | 其它你认识的流浪汉 |
| [05:33] | to come and holler and yell and root me on. | 过来为我欢呼 |
| [05:38] | I’m a little worried nobody will show. | 我担心没人去 |
| [05:39] | So I’m offering you 60 bucks to come do that. | 我会付你60美元 |
| [05:42] | Wow, this is insulting. This is beneath me. | 太伤我自尊了 这是大材小用 |
| [05:45] | Tim, there is nothing beneath you. | 小炯 你也只干得了这些 |
| [05:46] | You’re a blind unemployed person. | 你只是个失业的瞎子 |
| [05:48] | I’m leaving the restaurant. Have a nice life. | 我要走了 祝你好运 |
| [05:51] | The days of pushingTim around are over. | 我不再归你使唤了 |
| [05:55] | I thought those days were just getting started. | 这才刚准备使唤你呢 |
| [06:01] | Hey, how’d your interview go? | 面试如何 |
| [06:03] | Not good. They called the references. | 不好 他们打给我的推荐人 |
| [06:05] | They bring up tittie-fucking every time. | 他们每次都提起乳交那件糗事 |
| [06:07] | That’s always gonna come back to bite you, huh? | 一朝被蛇咬十年怕井绳 |
| [06:10] | – It’s so frustrating. – Wait, are you crying? | -太伤人了 -你在哭吗 |
| [06:19] | – He wanted me to clap for him for $60. – And? | -他付我60元为他鼓掌 -然后呢 |
| [06:22] | – I told him to suck my dick. – Really? | -我叫他吃屎吧 -真的吗 |
| [06:24] | I said, “Suck my dick, | 我说”吃屎吧 老兄” |
| [06:25] | pal.” And I dumped a bowl of soup on his head. | 然后把碗汤盖在他头上 |
| [06:27] | I didn’t do that. | 其实我没这样做 |
| [06:29] | – No, I didn’t think so. – I left though. | -我也没信 -我愤然离去 |
| [06:31] | I left and said I’d prefer not to. | 我说我不愿意干 |
| [06:35] | Yeah, but why? I mean just take the clapping job. | 为什么不接下这份工 |
| [06:38] | -You don’t expect a lot out of me, do you? – I mean he– | -你没对我抱多大期望是吗 -他 |
| [06:41] | $60 to clap? That’s humiliating. | 为60元拍手 太伤自尊了 |
| [06:44] | Yeah, but it’s more than that. The guy’s reaching out to you. | 不止是为钱 他在寻求你的帮助 |
| [06:46] | He likes you. | 他欣赏你 |
| [06:48] | It’s networking. You go there, you clap. | 这是人情往来 你过去鼓掌 |
| [06:51] | Why don’t you go clap for $60? | 那你为什么不去 |
| [06:53] | Because I have a job. | 因我有工作 |
| [06:56] | That’s a good comeback. | 回的真绝 |
| [07:00] | Why are we doing this again? The guy fired us. | 我们为何要帮他 他炒了我们鱿鱼 |
| [07:02] | We’ve got to stay on his good side, you know? | 我们要和他搞好关系 |
| [07:03] | If things change we’ll be e first to get rehired. | 说不定以后他会第一个把我们招回公司 |
| [07:05] | Oh, look at this. Tim, I can’t believe you actually showed. | 小炯 你居然来了 |
| [07:08] | And you brought your lemmings. | 还带着你的旅鼠伙伴们 |
| [07:10] | Well, I wouldn’t call them that. | 别这样叫他们 |
| [07:11] | – Tim and the lemmings. – Wrong foot. | -小炯和旅鼠们 -错了 |
| [07:13] | I thought you were in a doo-wop band named tim and the lemmings. | 你们不是”小炯和旅鼠们”三人乐队吗 |
| [07:16] | – Nope. – Listen, I’m sorry I stormed out the other day. | -不是 -我很抱歉上次不欢而散 |
| [07:19] | – No. – I was just taken aback that you wanted to pay me. | -没事 -我是因为你要付钱吃了一惊 |
| [07:22] | – Really? – I’m not here for money. | -是吗 -我不是为钱而来的 |
| [07:24] | I’m here because you’re one of my best friends. | 我是为朋友情谊而来的 |
| [07:27] | – Really? – I don’t want to get sappy, but I love you. | -是吗 -这样说有点矫情 |
| [07:31] | I am moved. I am truly moved. | 我真心被感动了 |
| [07:33] | I just hope that one day I can repay the favor. | 希望来日我有机会报恩 |
| [07:36] | – Maybe you can rehire me. – That’d be kind of tricky. | -你可以招我回公司 -恐怕不成 |
| [07:38] | – But, I mean, who knows? – You never know. | -不过也有可能 -谁知道 |
| [07:41] | If there is one thing in this world that I value, it is loyalty. | 我生平最看重忠诚了 |
| [07:45] | And if there’s one thing I value, it’s being loyal. | 为人忠诚也是我最大的优点 |
| [07:48] | I’ve got to go. But thanks again for making it. | 我得过去了 谢谢你捧场 |
| [07:51] | – I mean what a day. – You ass kisser. | -真快乐的一天 -你这个马屁精 |
| [07:54] | We’ll do it for free. What the fuck was that? | 我们不收钱 这是人话吗 |
| [07:57] | You just french kissed his rectum. | 你用热脸亲了他的冷屁股 |
| [08:00] | Thank you for coming. | 感谢各位光临捧场 |
| [08:02] | And please note the doughnuts are not free | 请注意面包圈不是免费的 |
| [08:04] | So stop taking them. They’re $2 each. | 别再贪吃了 两美金一个 |
| [08:08] | Anyway, onto the business at hand. | 回到正题 |
| [08:10] | We are here today to dedicate a block of Manhattan | 我们今天是来用一处曼哈顿街区 |
| [08:13] | after a great man. | 纪念一位伟人 |
| [08:15] | A man with… | 这位绅士 |
| [08:17] | so many accomplishments | 成就良多 |
| [08:20] | It’s difficult for me to begin | 很难让我 |
| [08:24] | to list them. | 一一阐述 |
| [08:25] | I give you Percey Davis. | 欢迎珀西·戴维斯 |
| [08:30] | That’s my boy! | 好样的 |
| [08:33] | Did you have any idea that his last name was Davis? | 他居然姓戴维斯 |
| [08:35] | I had no idea his first name was Percey. | 我不知道他名珀西 |
| [08:37] | – We love you, buddy. – You go, girl. | -我们爱你 老兄 -加油 |
| [08:40] | Thank you, everybody. And please please, call me the boss. | 谢谢各位 请叫我梁老大 |
| [08:44] | I wouldn’t be here today if wasn’t for the pioneering spirit | 我今天能站在这儿要归功于那些勇于斗争的人 |
| [08:48] | Of such amazing black leaders as Malcolm x, | 如黑人领袖Malcolm X[参与黑人种族运动被暗杀] |
| [08:51] | Malcolm Jamal Warner, Raven Symone, | 马尔科姆·杰摩·华纳 莱温·塞摩恩[黑人明星] |
| [08:55] | George Dzundza and.. | 乔治·真达以及…[黑人歌手] |
| [08:57] | Good lord, what is going on down there? | 那边是什么情况 |
| [09:00] | What is happening? | 发生什么事了 |
| [09:02] | Is this okay? This is fitting | 这样好吗 其实蛮应景的 |
| [09:04] | Because I am commonly known as a unifier. | 因为众所周知 我有兼容并包的胸怀 |
| [09:08] | When I went to Tufts | 我在塔夫茨大学读书时 |
| [09:10] | I had a run-in with a young Chinaman, | 曾和一个华人小伙子吵过架 |
| [09:13] | not unlike the head of the dragon there who… | 他和那个舞龙头的小伙子没有啥差别 |
| [09:16] | He’s not exactly commanding respect up there. | 他这窘状实在让人不敢恭维 |
| [09:18] | This is kind of embarrassing. | 这场面太囧囧有神了 |
| [09:19] | Putting a damper on it, to say the least. | 说好听点 这叫煞风景 |
| [09:21] | Again, it’s my day. We’re here for me. | 再次强调 今天哥最闪耀 哥是中心 |
| [09:25] | – I’m a hero. – Oh, he’s dying up there. | -哥是主角 -他会囧死在上面的 |
| [09:28] | – I’m gonna do something. I’m gonna step in. – Do what? | -我得做点啥 我得帮个忙 -咋帮 |
| [09:30] | I’m gonna talk to the guys. I’m gonna talk to them. | 我去跟那些人谈谈 跟他们好好商量 |
| [09:32] | I don’t know if that’s that a good idea, Tim. | 我不觉得这是个好主意 小炯 |
| [09:34] | Why? If I can’t talk to a parade | 为啥 跟舞龙队的华人哥们交涉 |
| [09:37] | of Chinese guys in a dragon, who can? | 这种事舍我其谁 |
| [09:39] | – The reasons why I’m a unifier. – Hey, boss. | -至于为神马我能够兼容并包 -头儿 |
| [09:41] | Excuse me. Yes, what? | 不好意思 说吧 咋了 |
| [09:43] | I’m dying here, Tim. | 我快囧死在这了 小炯 |
| [09:44] | I know you are. It’s really the worst speech I’ve ever heard. | 我知道 这真是我听过最烂的演说 |
| [09:46] | I don’t know what to do. | 我不知道还能咋办 |
| [09:48] | I’m gonna go talk to them now. | 我去跟他们交涉 |
| [09:48] | You speak Mandarin? Cantonese? | 你会说普通话吗 粤语呢 |
| [09:51] | – I–I actually do. – What? | -其实我会说 -神马 |
| [09:52] | I never tell people that. | 我就是深藏不露 |
| [09:54] | Unbeliev– I will stall. | 不可思议 我掩护 |
| [09:55] | You go, please. | 你冲锋 拜托了 |
| [09:57] | You know why I’m doing it? | 知道我为啥帮你吗 |
| [09:58] | – I have no idea. – ‘Cause I care about you. | -不知道 -因为我在乎你 |
| [10:00] | – I can’t get emotional, Tim. – All right. | -我现在不方便琼瑶 小炯 -好吧 |
| [10:06] | Hey, guys. I’ve got a request. | 同志们 我有个不情之请 |
| [10:08] | With all due respect, can I ask you to keep it down? | 无意冒犯 但可不可以请你们低调点 |
| [10:11] | Sorry, bro. | 抱歉 兄弟 |
| [10:12] | We light fireworks at our funerals, all right? | 我们葬礼上就得放烟花 懂不 |
| [10:14] | It’s all part of the ceremony. | 这是仪式的一部分 |
| [10:16] | This is a funeral? | 这居然是个葬礼 |
| [10:18] | – Yeah. – What kind of crazy funeral is that? | -没错 -哪有这么离谱的葬礼 |
| [10:20] | It’s not a crazy funeral, it’s a funeral. | 这不是离谱的葬礼 葬礼就是这样的 |
| [10:22] | You’re dancing in a dragon. | 可你们在舞龙 |
| [10:24] | They’re very expensive, | 舞龙装备太贵了 |
| [10:24] | so we try to use them throughout the year. | 一年多用几次才不浪费 |
| [10:26] | I’m pretty sure it’s just a new year’s thing, but you know– | 我很确定这是过年才用的 但你知道 |
| [10:28] | Hey listen, this is my dad’s funeral, all right? | 听着 这是我老爹的葬礼好不好 |
| [10:31] | You’re interrupting it telling me I’m being Chinese wrong. | 你扰乱葬礼 污蔑我不懂中华民俗 |
| [10:33] | Hey, what the hell is going on out here? | 整啥子呢 |
| [10:35] | This dude over here, he’s telling us | 这有个家伙说 |
| [10:37] | that we shouldn’t be using fireworks, | 我们不该放烟花 |
| [10:39] | and that we’re being Chinese wrong. | 他说中国的习俗不是这样的 |
| [10:41] | What? Did somebody tell him it’s all part of the ceremony? | 什么 没人跟他说这是仪式的一部分吗 |
| [10:44] | I tried to, but he was already starting to defend himself. | 我说过了 但他一直在为自己辩护 |
| [10:47] | Like he’s been to Chinatown once. | 说得好像他在唐人街混过似的 |
| [10:49] | Can I talk? Can Tim talk or is the dragon gonna talk? | 我能说两句吗 我说还是龙哥说 |
| [10:51] | What’s up? | 有话快说 |
| [10:52] | I’m just saying can you please keep it down? | 我就是想说 请你们低调点行不 |
| [10:54] | There are a lot of cultures coexisting in harmony here, | 很多不同的文化都在这里和谐共处 |
| [10:57] | and I’d like you to keep it down for five minutes. | 我想请你们安静个五分钟 |
| [10:59] | – Well, it’s my dad’s funeral, sir. – Oh my god. | -先生 这是我爹的葬礼 -神啊 |
| [11:01] | So we have to dance in a dragon | 所以我们得舞龙 |
| [11:04] | and we have to light some fireworks, | 还得放烟花 |
| [11:05] | ’cause that’s part of the ceremony. | 因为那是仪式的一部分 |
| [11:07] | Listen, here’s 20 bucks. | 听着 我给你20美刀 |
| [11:09] | Keep it down for five minutes, | 请安静5分钟 |
| [11:10] | so we can give a quick speech and we’re gonna get out of here. | 我们做个简短的演讲 马上就撤退 |
| [11:12] | – What? – Here it comes in the mouth. Coming in the mouth. | -神马 -钱给你们 放龙嘴里了哈 |
| [11:14] | – What the fuck did you just throw in my mouth, man? – 20 bucks. | -你他妈往我嘴里丢的神马 -20刀 |
| [11:17] | – Are you– – It’s not your mouth. | -你是… -那不是你的嘴 |
| [11:19] | – It’s the dragon’s mouth. – You just shit on it, man. | -那是龙的嘴 -你玷污了它 |
| [11:21] | You shit in our mouth. | 你玷污我们的嘴巴 |
| [11:22] | That’s the ultimate sign of disrespect. | 人间最大的侮辱莫过于此 |
| [11:24] | Honestly, I have nothing but respect for the Chinese culture. | 说实话 我对中华文化敬仰万分 |
| [11:27] | You know what? Give me two seconds. | 你们知道吗 稍等一下 |
| [11:29] | Oh my god, that is just killing me. | 神啊 辣死我了 |
| [11:32] | Tell me you’re not trying | 别跟我说你这是在 |
| [11:33] | to make your eyes look Chinese right now. | 把自己的眼睛整成中国人的样子 |
| [11:35] | – What? – Oh, hell no. | -神马 -该死的 |
| [11:37] | No, they irritate me. I got pepper sprayed. | 不 是我眼睛痛 我被喷了防狼喷剂 |
| [11:39] | You’re gonna get a lot worse than pepper sprayed, | 跟哥要整你的方式比 防狼喷剂弱爆了 |
| [11:41] | ’cause this ends now. | 谈判结束 |
| [11:42] | – Okay, listen up. – Hey, everybody listen up. | -听着 -大家都听着 |
| [11:45] | – Everybody listen up. – Oh god. | -大家都听着 -神啊 |
| [11:47] | – This guy here… – This douche. | -这个家伙 -这个二货 |
| [11:48] | …has as made it clear how you feel about our funeral. | 跟我们说你们对这场葬礼有意见 |
| [11:52] | Well, let us tell you how we feel about your event. | 也让我们对你们的活动表个态 |
| [11:56] | Yeah, let’s do it! | 我们开始吧 |
| [12:00] | Nooo! | 不要啊 |
| [12:10] | Typical Chinese bullshit going after the doughnuts. | 但凡华人皆哀怨 冲冠怒烧甜甜圈 |
| [12:14] | I knew this was a bad idea. | 我就知道这主意烂透了 |
| [12:19] | I’m not a history buff, | 我在历史方面了解不多 |
| [12:19] | 纽约 爆炸性新闻 唐人街种族暴动 | |
| [12:20] | ladies and gentlemen, but I will say this. | 但是女士们先生们 我想说 |
| [12:22] | I haven’t seen Asians this upset | 自柬埔寨的波尔布特大屠杀之后 |
| [12:22] | 波尔布特: 70年代柬埔寨领导人 其执政期间造成约三百万人死亡 | |
| [12:25] | since the Pol Pot regime in Cambodia. | 我还没见亚洲人这么愤怒过 |
| [12:27] | From this day forward, when people think of senseless violence, | 从此以后 每当提及无谓的暴行 |
| [12:30] | and horrible racism they will think only | 以及可怕的种族歧视 人们就都会想起 |
| [12:33] | of the name Percey B. Davis. | 珀西·B·戴维斯 |
| [12:35] | A baby just got thrown into my head. | 有个婴儿刚被掷在我头上 |
| [12:37] | People are throwing babies. I am bleeding right now. | 人们在把婴儿丢来丢去 我流血了 |
| [12:40] | I am on fire. | 我着火了 |
| [12:44] | Tim. | 小炯 |
| [12:46] | What are you possibly doing here? | 你来这儿是想干嘛 |
| [12:48] | Listen, I know I’m not getting my job back. | 我知道我是不可能复职了 |
| [12:51] | You will never ever ever work here again. | 你永远永远永远都别想回来工作 |
| [12:54] | If that’s what you’re here– | 如果你是为此而来 |
| [12:56] | if that’s what you’re– don’t even ask. | 如果你是为此而来 总之免谈 |
| [12:57] | Honestly, I just wanted | 其实 我就是想 |
| [12:58] | to quickly inquire about that clapping money. | 讨回我今天做后援的报酬 |
| [13:01] | I know I said I’d do it for free. | 我知道自己说过那是免费的 |
| [13:02] | But I threw 20 in the dragon’s mouth, the cab fare, | 但我把20刀的车费都扔龙嘴里了 |
| [13:06] | I never even got any doughnuts. Please? | 我连个甜甜圈都没摸到 求你了 |
| [13:10] | Tim, you have absolutely no shame, do you? | 小炯 你真是恬不知耻 是不是 |
| [13:12] | I really don’t, do I? | 就当我是吧 能咋地 |
| [13:13] | No shame at all. | 完全不知羞耻 |
| [13:14] | It’s a well-documented fact. | 无耻这事 被说得多了 就成了事实 |
| [13:27] | Can we see the other boob or what? | 另一个咪咪也给看看呗 |
| [13:28] | I showed you a boob. | 我让你看过一个了 |
| [13:29] | You want to see the other one, I want a hat. | 想看另一个 就给我一顶帽子 |
| [13:31] | All right, hold on, hold on, hold on. | 好吧 等等 等等 别急 |
| [13:32] | Two T-shirts. | 两件T恤怎么样 |
| [13:34] | T-shirts are bullshit. Give me a hat! | T恤顶屁用 我要帽子 |
| [13:37] | You know, I’m tempted to abort this marathon, | 我很想放弃这次”色情片马拉松” |
| [13:39] | but we only have, like, seven videos left. | 但我们也就只剩七部没看了 |
| [13:41] | I mean the standards for having “gone wild” | 我觉得我们”放荡”的水准 |
| [13:43] | have gone way down. | 已经一落千丈 |
| [13:47] | What up? It’s Stu. | 司徒家 是谁啊 |
| [13:48] | Stu, it’s me, Abe. | 司徒 是我呀 阿贝 |
| [13:51] | Abe, my nephew? | 阿贝 我外甥吗 |
| [13:53] | – That’s right. – Are you with your parents? | -没错 -你爸妈也来了吗 |
| [13:55] | No, I’m flying solo on this shit, man. | 没有 就我一只小蜜蜂 飞到你家中 |
| [13:58] | – Buzz me up. – All right, come on up. | -让我上去 -好嘞 上来吧 |
| [14:01] | Who’s Abe? | 阿贝是谁 |
| [14:02] | It’s my sister’s son. He kind of worships me. | 我姐的儿子 他很崇拜我 |
| [14:04] | Why would he worship you? | 他为毛会崇拜你 |
| [14:06] | ‘Cause at Thanksgiving I still sit at the kids’ table. | 因为感恩节晚餐我依然坐小孩那桌 |
| [14:08] | So it’s, you know, kind of easy to come across as cool, I guess. | 你知道 在那很容易被当做酷的代名词 |
| [14:11] | – Cool uncle Stu Balls. – Abe. | -咸蛋司徒叔叔 -阿贝 |
| [14:14] | What the hell happened to your hair? | 你脑袋怎么给剃成这样了 |
| [14:17] | Oh well, you know how you’re | 你还记得你经常说的 |
| [14:18] | always saying bald guys get all the chicks? | 妹纸们都爱光头哥 |
| [14:20] | You told him that? | 你还跟他说这个 |
| [14:21] | Yeah. I might have mentioned it. But you look like a monk. | 我可能随口提过 可你看起来像方丈 |
| [14:24] | – A monk who’s getting junk. – What? | -瘾君子方丈 -神马 |
| [14:28] | – Lady junk. – Oh, okay. | -风流成瘾 -好吧 |
| [14:30] | What are you doing here, Abe? | 你来干嘛 阿贝 |
| [14:32] | Oh, I ran away from home. | 我离家出走了 |
| [14:34] | What? Why would you run away from home? | 啥 你为什么离家出走 |
| [14:36] | It’s this fucking bar mitzvah, you know? | 因为那该死的成人礼 知道吗 |
| [14:39] | It’s like my mom and dad are always pushing me. | 我爸妈一刻也不放过我 |
| [14:41] | The yarmulke, the torah. The yarmulke, the torah. | 圆顶小帽 教律 小帽 教律 |
| [14:41] | 圆顶小帽:犹太男子特有的帽子 在祈祷或正式场合时戴 | |
| [14:45] | Stop. When is your bar mitzvah? | 够了 你的成人礼什么时候举行 |
| [14:46] | I didn’t even get an invitation to it. | 我怎么没收到请柬 |
| [14:48] | Oh, they don’t want you there. They say you’re a bad influence. | 他们不想请你 他们说你是反面教材 |
| [14:51] | Me a bad influence? | 我是反面教材 |
| [14:52] | Yeah, they say if you don’t study Judaism | 是的 他们说要乖乖研习犹太教律 |
| [14:55] | and go to temple you’ll end up like Stu. | 去教堂祷告 否则小心变成司徒 |
| [14:56] | And that’s a bad thing in their mind? | 这对他们而言是坏事吗 |
| [14:58] | – Oh, it’s a terrible thing, yeah. – You know what? | -是糟糕透顶的事 -知道吗 |
| [15:00] | Maybe it’s time you take a little break from Judaism, | 或许你该把犹太教律搁置一段时间 |
| [15:03] | and start really taking a crash course in Studaism. | 加入司徒教律速成班 |
| [15:09] | – Yeah! I like it. – See what I did there? | -我喜欢这架势 -看到叔那造型了没 |
| [15:12] | – Let’s Stu this. – Oh good. | -学习司徒好榜样 -很好 |
| [15:16] | – Here we go. Here we go. – O’flaherty’s. | -向前进 向前进 -弗雷哈迪酒吧 |
| [15:18] | – Here we go. – Excuse me. Excuse me. | -向前进 -抱歉 抱歉 |
| [15:21] | Absolutely not. Can’t have children in here. | 这绝对不行 未成年人不得入内 |
| [15:23] | They will shut me down. | 他们会毙了我的店 |
| [15:24] | He’s not a child. He’s having his bar mitzvah next week, | 他不算未成年人 他下周就办成人礼 |
| [15:27] | which by Jewish Law means that he is now a man. | 根据犹太法典 他已经是成年人了 |
| [15:29] | Yeah okay, that works for me. What are you drinking? | 好吧 这个说法我接受 想喝点什么 |
| [15:31] | – Jagermeister. – Jagermeister? Yeah, | -野格酒 -野格酒 好的 |
| [15:33] | and what are you gonna wash that down with? | 用什么来搭配呢 |
| [15:33] | – Pinot noir. – Nice, okay. | -黑品乐 -好品味 就来 |
| [15:35] | – You can’t serve the kid a drink. – Did you not hear that? | -你不能卖酒给小孩 -你刚没听到吗 |
| [15:38] | By the Jewish Law, he is a man. | 依据犹太法典 他是成年人了 |
| [15:40] | These laws came down from god on tablets. | 这些法典由上帝刻在石板上 传承至今 |
| [15:42] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [15:42] | You gonna mess with that? I’m not gonna mess with that. | 你敢违逆神旨吗 我可不敢 |
| [15:44] | – Thank you. – Let’s get some shots going. | -谢谢 -举杯痛饮吧 |
| [15:45] | But if he pukes, you’re cleaning it up, you got it? | 但要是他吐了 你得负责清理 |
| [15:47] | Got it like it says in the tablets. | 遵旨 |
| [15:50] | Nice, bro. | 真不错 兄弟 |
| [15:52] | I do not condone this. | 我还是不敢苟同 |
| [15:54] | Come on, Tim. | 算了吧 小炯 |
| [15:55] | Yeah, you’re starting to sound like Abe’s dad. | 就是 你快赶上阿贝他爹了 |
| [15:57] | Oh, do the voice. Do the impression of my dad. | 来段声带模仿 模仿下我老爹 |
| [16:00] | Ahem. “Stu, you are such an embarrassment.” | “司徒 你真是令人难堪” |
| [16:10] | Abe, you are easily impressed, I’ve got to say. | 阿贝 我不得不说 你笑点真低 |
| [16:13] | Seriously, guys. | 说真的 同志们 |
| [16:14] | We can’t go into a club with the kid. | 我们不能带小孩逛夜店 |
| [16:16] | Come on, Tim. Take it easy. Let’s just roll with it. | 拜托了小炯 放轻松 跟着感觉走 |
| [16:19] | Ho ho, whoa. Not happening, guys. | 这可不行 同志们 |
| [16:21] | Afraid it’s gonna be a while, fellas. | 你们这会儿不能进去 伙计们 |
| [16:22] | Okay. How long? | 好吧 啥时候能进呢 |
| [16:24] | Probably until we stop | 大概要等到 |
| [16:25] | letting cool attractive people into the club. | 我们禁止高富帅入场的那一天 |
| [16:27] | – What? – So how’s never? | -什么 -就是说永远不可能 |
| [16:29] | Is that a good time frame for you? | 你们觉得这时段安排得合适不 |
| [16:31] | Is he trying to suggest that we’re not cool? | 难道他在暗示我们矮穷丑 |
| [16:32] | Trust me, these guys are cool. | 相信我 这些同志们很酷 |
| [16:34] | Trust me, they’re not. | 相信我 你是瞎了眼 |
| [16:35] | Uncle Stu, do your impression of my dad. | 司徒叔叔 模仿一下我爹 |
| [16:37] | – That’ll show him. – Don’t bust it out now. | -证明给他看 -别在这丢人现眼 |
| [16:39] | It goes, “You’re such an embarrassment.” | 来了 “你真是令人难堪” |
| [16:46] | Clear the area. Take your grandpa with you. | 别堵在这 把这老头带上 |
| [16:49] | Get the fuck out of here. | 都给我滚出去 |
| [16:50] | You wouldn’t do that if Jamie Foxx rolled up doing Ray. | 如果是志朋模仿国荣 你不会撵人的 |
| [16:52] | – Are you Jamie Foxx? – No. | -你是陈志朋吗 -不是 |
| [16:53] | – Are you doing Ray? – Huh-uh. | -你模仿的是张国荣吗 -呃 介个 |
| [16:54] | Are you doing some obnoxious jewish person? | 你模仿的是不是一个烦人的犹太佬 |
| [16:57] | Maybe. | 好像是 |
| [16:57] | Okay, just get the fuck out of here. | 很好 那就赶紧滚出去 |
| [16:59] | All right, guys, | 好吧 同志们 |
| [17:00] | let’s regroup here, okay? | 我们现在另作打算如何 |
| [17:01] | I know usually I’m the one who wants to party. | 我知道通常都是我嚷嚷着要找乐子 |
| [17:03] | – No you’re not. – Not true. | -不 你没有 -瞎说 |
| [17:05] | First time I met you and I know that’s not you. | 老早就看出来你是在装B |
| [17:06] | I’m just saying someone’s got to be responsible. | 我只是觉得我们应该有点责任心 |
| [17:08] | The kid’s 12. Let’s just wrap up the night. | 这孩子才12岁 我们今晚到此为止吧 |
| [17:10] | – Let’s call it a night. – No, I’m with you. | -今晚就这样吧 -我听你的 |
| [17:12] | I forgot to take the choking hazards out of the crib for the baby. | 我忘记清理宝宝床上易引起窒息的危险品 |
| [17:15] | – So I should probably get back. – All right. | -所以我得回去看看 -好的 |
| [17:17] | – All right? – Fine. | -就这样吧 -好吧 |
| [17:18] | All right. Good seeing you, buddy. | 很好 跟你玩得很尽兴 老弟 |
| [17:22] | We are so not calling it a night. | 我们今天决不能就此罢手 |
| [17:24] | Let’s rip this city a big old butthole. | 我们搅它个菊花残 满城伤 |
| [17:27] | Where do you learn these phrases? They’re awesome. | 这些词你是从哪学来的 太酷了 |
| [17:30] | Um, rap songs. | 说唱歌曲 |
| [17:32] | You ready to take this night up a notch? | 准备好更上一层楼了吗 |
| [17:34] | – Two notches, man. – So what are we gonna do here, huh? | -连上两层啊 老兄 -想纹些什么 |
| [17:37] | – All right, here’s what I want. – Uh-huh. | -好 我想要纹的是 -说吧 |
| [17:39] | Mermaid with huge, bare gazongas. | 无码硕乳的美人鱼 |
| [17:43] | – Gazongas, huh? – It’s a current term. | -硕乳 -这是流行语 |
| [17:45] | It is not a current term, my friend. | 这不是流行语 朋友 |
| [17:47] | You’ve been using it all night. | 你整晚都在说这个词 |
| [17:48] | Yeah, and I heard Judd Hirsch use it last week. | 贾德·赫希上周说了这个词 |
| [17:52] | – Anyway. – These days we’re calling ’em jugs. | -好了 -现在都叫胸器 |
| [17:54] | We’re pretty much all onboard calling ’em jugs. | 现在都称之为胸器 |
| [17:56] | Look, let’s not split hairs, bro. | 别鸡蛋里挑骨头了 老兄 |
| [17:57] | Okay. Well, let’s do it. | 好的 开始吧 |
| [17:59] | Let’s tell the part of the world | 让那些看了你屁股蛋的人知道 |
| [18:01] | that sees your bare ass to go eff itself. | 他们都可以去死了 |
| [18:03] | – There we go. – All right, all right. | -来吧 -好啦好啦 |
| [18:10] | That was just a cotton swab with some rubbing alcohol. | 这只是沾了酒精的棉签 |
| [18:18] | All right, okay. All right, we’re all done. | 好了 好了 纹好了 |
| [18:20] | Buddy, all I got is mer. | 伙计 我只纹了鱼 |
| [18:21] | – There’s no maid yet. – Stu, it’s just scales. | -还没纹美人 -司徒 只有些鱼鳞 |
| [18:23] | – You want jugs on your can or what? – No! | -还想不想在屁股上纹胸器了 -不想 |
| [18:25] | I’m getting out of here and I’m taking my tushy with me. | 我要带我的屁屁走了 |
| [18:28] | Please don’t call it a tushy in here. | 不要管它叫屁屁好吗 |
| [18:31] | – Just call it an ass. – Yeah right, that would be better. | -就叫屁股啊 -没错 好多了 |
| [18:35] | – Uncle Stu balls? – Over here. | -咸蛋司徒叔叔 -在这 |
| [18:38] | Oh my god. Are you okay? | 天呐 你还好吗 |
| [18:40] | Yup. How cool does my new tat look, huh? | 好着呢 我的新纹身很酷吧 |
| [18:44] | Oh yeah, real cool. | 是啊 真酷 |
| [18:46] | So did you decide what you’re getting? | 你想好要纹什么了吗 |
| [18:47] | You know, why don’t we just go home | 不如我们现在回家 |
| [18:49] | right now and start tomorrow fresh? | 明天再重新开始 |
| [18:51] | Yeah, tomorrow’s no good for me. | 明天没什么意思 |
| [18:53] | I’ve got to go pick up my prescription of pubicia. | 我得去拿防脱发的处方 |
| [18:56] | – Pubicia? – It’s propecia for my pubic hair. | -防脱发 -防止我下面脱发的 |
| [19:00] | – What? – My penis is going bald. | -什么 -我的老二要秃了 |
| [19:03] | Keep getting cooler and cooler, Stu. | 越来越来酷了 司徒 |
| [19:07] | Hey. Let’s do tattoo. Let’s do this. | 来纹身吧 出发吧 |
| [19:11] | Abe, where you at, man? | 阿贝 你在哪 小伙 |
| [19:14] | Oh fuck. | 我靠 |
| [19:17] | Oh god. All right. | 天呐 好吧 |
| [19:19] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [19:20] | Hey, Rachel. It’s Stu. | 嗨 瑞秋 我是司徒 |
| [19:23] | Ugh, you. You know what? | 是你 你知道吗 |
| [19:25] | I know already. Abe’s home. | 我知道你要说什么 阿贝回家了 |
| [19:26] | Oh god, that is great news. | 天呐 那真是太好了 |
| [19:28] | Okay, you took him to a bar and a nightclub? | 你带他去酒吧和夜店了 |
| [19:31] | – Sort of. – And you showed him pornography? | -差不多吧 -你还给他看黄片 |
| [19:32] | – It was soft-core porn. – It doesn’t matter. | -那是一部软核的片子 -都一样 |
| [19:34] | I don’t want you exposing my son to that. What is wrong with you? | 我不想我儿子看这些东西 你有病啊 |
| [19:37] | Where do I start? I’m assuming he told you about my bald penis. | 怎么说呢 他应该告诉你我有秃老二了 |
| [19:40] | Are you out of your mind telling your sister something like that? | 和你的姐姐说这种事 你大脑进水了吗 |
| [19:43] | You asked me a question and I answered you, Rachel. | 是你问我 我才说的 瑞秋 |
| [19:46] | – Just put him on the phone. – He doesn’t want to talk to you. | -让他来接电话 -他不想和你说话 |
| [19:49] | What do you mean he doesn’t want to talk to me? | 什么叫他不想和我说话 |
| [19:51] | I’m his cool uncle Stu balls. | 我是他的酷炫咸蛋司徒叔叔 |
| [19:52] | – You know what? He had an epiphany. – What? | -知道吗 他已经顿悟了 -什么 |
| [19:54] | Seeing you in action, now he wants to study, | 看了你的所作所为后 他想努力读书 |
| [19:56] | work hard and lead a devout jewish life. | 认真工作 做一个虔诚的犹太人 |
| [19:58] | He wants to be the anti-Stu. | 他不要做另一个司徒 |
| [20:00] | That’s anti-Stumitic. | 这是反司徒教律的 |
| [20:01] | It’s the greatest thing that has ever happened. | 这真是天大的喜事 |
| [20:03] | It’s the first productive | 你第一次对这个家庭 |
| [20:04] | thing you have ever done for this family, | 做了点有用的事 |
| [20:06] | so we’re thrilled. See you at Thanksgiving. | 我们真是激动不已 感恩节见 |
| [20:09] | The anti-Stu? | 另一个司徒 |
| [20:11] | – No, just relax. – I mean, we haven’t heard from him in days. | -放轻松 -这几天都没有他的消息 |
| [20:15] | – That is not like Stu. – That’s true. | -这可不是司徒的作风 -那倒是 |
| [20:18] | He generally calls me three times a day. | 他一般每天给我打三次电话 |
| [20:20] | That’s a different issue altogether. All right, let me call him. | 这是另一回事了 好了 我打给他 |
| [20:25] | You’ve reached Stu balls. If you have a message | 我是咸蛋司徒 如果你想留言 |
| [20:28] | or an answer to the question “Why is life so terrible?” | 或是知道为什么生活如此悲催 |
| [20:31] | Let me know. Leave it at the beep. | 记得告诉我 在哔声后留言 |
| [20:38] | Hey, Stu. Tim and Amy here. Just checking in. | 嗨 司徒 小炯和小美要来看看你 |
| [20:41] | Catch you later. | 待会见 |
| [20:42] | Sounds pretty good. | 听上去不错 |
| [20:45] | All right, Amy, I’m gonna check in the couch area. | 小美 我检查沙发这边 |
| [20:49] | You check the bathroom and check the kitchen. | 你去看看浴室和厨房 |
| [20:52] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [20:53] | – Look. – Oh boy. | -看呐 -我的神呐 |
| [20:55] | – Yeah, he killed himself. – Oh boy. | -他自杀了 -我的神呐 |
| [20:57] | – And that smell. – It always smells like that actually. | -这里真臭 -这里总是这么臭的 |
| [21:00] | – Okay. – Maybe he’s okay. | -好吧 -他应该还好 |
| [21:02] | – Amy. – Yes? | -小美 -怎么 |
| [21:03] | I need you to relax. I need you to relax. | 我要你放轻松 我要你放轻松 |
| [21:06] | – Need you to get me some boiling water. – What? | -你去给我烧点热水 -什么 |
| [21:08] | – Tim. – This is– holy shit! You’ve got to relax. | -小炯 -真是见鬼 你放轻松 |
| [21:11] | – Tim, Amy’s in control. – That’s probably a better idea. | -小炯 小美来指挥 -这主意不错 |
| [21:14] | – Okay, Amy’s in control. – What do you do? | -好了 小美来指挥 -你要怎么做 |
| [21:16] | – I’m calling 911. – That’s what you do. | -我打给911 -就这么做 |
| [21:18] | – Try to wake him up. – All right. | -你去把他叫醒 -好吧 |
| [21:20] | – Hey, buddy. – Smack him. | -嗨 伙计 -给他个耳光 |
| [21:23] | All right, let me– I’m gonna smack you, pal. | 好的 我要扇你了 朋友 |
| [21:26] | – Stu. – I saved him. | -司徒 -我救活了他 |
| [21:28] | Amy. Amy and a little lady. | 小美 小美和一位小姐 |
| [21:31] | This is why I don’t check on people. | 所以说不该我来查看的 |
| [21:34] | Who cares what your nephew thinks? | 谁管你侄子是怎么想的 |
| [21:36] | We think you are an amazing person. | 我们认为你很了不起 |
| [21:38] | Amy, would you mind just stroking my hair a little bit? | 小美 你能摸摸我的头发吗 |
| [21:40] | – Of course I will. – Thanks. | -当然可以 -多谢 |
| [21:42] | Stroke– stroke his hair? | 摸 摸他的头发 |
| [21:44] | Listen, we are always here for you, okay? | 听着 我们会一直在你身边 好吗 |
| [21:46] | – Yeah. – Don’t ever feel like you’re alone. | -好 -不要觉得寂寞 |
| [21:48] | Yeah, call us if you need us. We’re gonna zip out. | 有需要就打电话 我们先闪了 |
| [21:50] | Whatever you need anytime. | 任何时候 任何需要 |
| [21:52] | Would you mind just sitting on the bed? | 你能坐在床上吗 |
| [21:53] | – Sure. Here, scoot over. – Sit on the bed? | -当然 移过去些 -坐在床上 |
| [21:56] | – Why are you getting in the bed? – Tim, he needs this right now. | -为什么要这样 -小炯 他很脆弱 |
| [21:59] | I think we’ve made the point. We love the guy. He’s a good dude. | 已安慰过他了 我们爱他 他是好人 |
| [22:01] | Just push up against me a little bit. | 再靠近我一点 |
| [22:03] | – Like that? – Yeah, right there. | -这样吗 -就是这样 |
| [22:05] | – Okay. – Breathe some hot air on my neck. | -好的 -在我脖子那呼口热气 |
| [22:07] | I can feel your heartbeat. | 我能感受到你的心跳 |
| [22:09] | Oh, Stu. Could you get your gown back on? | 司徒 能把病服穿上吗 |
| [22:12] | Thank you. Visiting hours are over. | 谢谢你们 探视时间结束了 |
| [22:13] | – His gown’s not on? – All right, guys, thank you. | -他没穿病服 -朋友 多谢了 |
| [22:16] | If you feel alone, call. | 如果感到感到寂寞 打给我们 |
| [22:18] | – I will. – Suicide is not the answer. | -我会的 -自杀不能解决问题 |
| [22:20] | I love you guys. | 我爱你们 |
| [22:23] | Stu, why do your friends think that you tried to kill yourself? | 司徒 为什么你的朋友认为你自杀了 |
| [22:26] | ’cause I basically did. | 因为我基本上是自杀了 |
| [22:28] | No, you basically got sick | 不 你是因为吃了坏了的热狗 |
| [22:30] | on rotten hot dogs and expired acid reflux pills. | 和过期的肠胃药 导致恶心虚弱 |
| [22:35] | Get in bed with me. | 到我床上来 |
| [22:37] | All right, take your gown back off. | 好吧 把你的病服脱了 |
| [22:41] | – Bar’chu – no, add the “Ch.” Don’t be afraid. | -Bar’chu -不 把Ch发出来 别怕 |
| [22:43] | – Bar’chu. – Phlegm is a natural part of the human being. | -Bar’chu -痰是人体的自然组成部分 |
| [22:47] | Bar’chu et adonai. | 感谢主 |
| [22:49] | – Bar’chu et adonai. – Nice. | -感谢主 -不错 |
| [22:51] | – Thank you. – That’s nice. | -谢谢 -很不错 |
| [22:53] | – Hey. – Hey, hello. | -嗨 -嗨 你好 |
| [22:55] | – Am I interrupting? – No, there’s never an interruption. | -打扰了 -不 绝对没有打扰 |
| [22:57] | It’s just another moment that we’re having. | 这只是我们共度的另一个时刻 |
| [22:59] | Nice. Can I just talk to Abe real quick? | 太好了 我能和阿贝说两句吗 |
| [23:01] | Absolutely. My temple is your temple. | 没有问题 我的教堂也就是你的教堂 |
| [23:04] | I mean not legally, but in a general way. | 虽然法律上不是你的 但也还是你的 |
| [23:06] | I didn’t think you legally signed it over. | 我不认为你有合法的签订文件 |
| [23:07] | Let me just talk for a minute. | 就让我说两句 |
| [23:09] | – I’ll be over here whenever you need me. – Nice rabbi. | -有需要就叫我 -真是好牧师 |
| [23:11] | – Good guy. – Look, we’ve got to talk here. | -是个好人 -我们需要谈谈 |
| [23:14] | After your visit Stu felt very rejected. | 司徒见了你之后 感到很受伤 |
| [23:17] | – The guy attempted suicide. – What? | -那家伙企图自杀 -什么 |
| [23:19] | This is terrible. Are you saying it’s my fault? | 太可怕了 你认为这是我的错 |
| [23:21] | No no, it’s not all your fault. | 不 不 不全都是你的错 |
| [23:23] | – It’s largely your fault. – Largely my fault? | -大部分是你的错 -大部分 |
| [23:26] | – A little bit. – What can I do? I can’t do anything. | -有点吧 -怎么办 我做不了什么 |
| [23:29] | You know what? You can invite him to your bar mitzvah. | 知道吗 你可以邀请他参加你的成人礼 |
| [23:31] | Oh yeah, consider it done. Of course, yes yes yes. | 是啊 当然可以 没有问题 |
| [23:34] | You know what? Do something even beyond that. | 知道吗 你还可以做的更多 |
| [23:36] | Something extra nice. A little special gesture. | 给一点额外的关怀 特别的表示 |
| [23:39] | Get him a little money clip or something. | 送他个小钱夹 |
| [23:41] | I gave him a money clip last year. | 我去年就送了钱夹 |
| [23:42] | A tie clip? Some kind of clip. | 领带夹 其他的夹子 |
| [23:45] | – Oh my god, I’ve got the perfect idea. – Yeah? What? | -老天 我有一个好主意 -是什么 |
| [23:48] | You know what? Why don’t you come and see for yourself? | 这样吧 不如你到时来看看 |
| [23:50] | Come Saturday. Come to my bar mitzvah. | 星期六过来 参加我的成人礼 |
| [23:54] | – Come on. It’s fun, man. – Is it? | -来吧 挺好玩的 老兄 -是吗 |
| [23:56] | And, tim, thank you so much for the help and advice. | 小炯 非常感谢你的帮忙和建议 |
| [23:58] | I mean you’re like a backup rabbi to me. | 你就像我的替补牧师一样 |
| [24:00] | – I’m very similar to a backup rabbi. – Rabbi Tim. | -我是很像个替补牧师 -炯牧师 |
| [24:03] | Did you call me, guys? Was I called? | 是在叫我吗 你们两个 在叫我吗 |
| [24:05] | – No, I said rabbi Tim. – All right. | -没有 我是说炯牧师 -好吧 |
| [24:16] | All right, everybody. Settle down. | 好了 大家安静一下 |
| [24:17] | Okay, come on, everybody. I need your attention up here. | 好了 大家都看过来 |
| [24:21] | Take it away, Abe. | 开始吧 阿贝 |
| [24:25] | Thank you. Thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [24:27] | I just want to thank everyone, you know, for the special day. | 在今天这个特别的日子 我想谢谢大家 |
| [24:31] | Obviously my mom and my dad and rabbi. | 尤其是我的父母和牧师 |
| [24:35] | But there’s one person I especially want to thank. | 但我还想特别感谢一个人 |
| [24:38] | And that’s my dear uncle Stu. | 我亲爱的司徒叔叔 |
| [24:40] | – Oh no. – There he goes. That was nice. | -少来了 -你听听 说的好 |
| [24:42] | Stu’s, you know, always been a person I looked up to | 司徒一直是我所尊敬的人 |
| [24:46] | and I just– I want to let him know I still do. | 我只是 我想让他知道我仍尊敬他 |
| [24:50] | So at the advice of his friend Tim I did something special. | 他朋友小炯建议我做点特别的事 |
| [24:53] | – Right here. – You know | -就是我 -大家都知道 |
| [24:55] | I’ve always called my cool uncle Stu balls | 我的酷炫咸蛋司徒叔叔 |
| [24:57] | – Cool uncle stu balls. – Ha ha, yeah. | -酷炫咸蛋司徒叔叔 -哈哈 |
| [24:59] | So as the ultimate gesture of respect | 那么表示尊敬的最好体现就是 |
| [25:04] | I went into the city last night and got the hebrew symbol | 我昨晚去了市中心 把希伯来语的司徒 |
| [25:07] | for Stu tattooed under my balls. | 纹在了我的蛋上 |
| [25:11] | What? | 什么 |
| [25:12] | – What? – Nobody panic. | -什么 -大家别慌 |
| [25:13] | – Tim, thank you so much. – Tim! | -小炯 非常感谢 -小炯 |
| [25:15] | – No no. – If it wasn’t for Tim, | -别 别 -如果没有小炯 |
| [25:17] | this wouldn’t have happened. So thank you. | 我也不会这么做 谢谢你 |
| [25:19] | I literally said you should do something nice. | 我当时是说你得做点好事 |
| [25:22] | – You fucked my son’s eternity. – Wow. | -你毁了我儿子的永生 -哇 |
| [25:24] | Do you understand that he cannot be buried in a jewish cemetery? | 你明白吗 他不能埋在犹太墓地里了 |
| [25:27] | – Why not? – Because you cannot defile your body. | -为什么 -因为他亵渎了他的身体 |
| [25:30] | Tattoos are forbidden in jewish law. | 犹太法律禁止纹身 |
| [25:34] | They are verboten, | 纹身是被禁止的 |
| [25:35] | if you prefer the german, and we usually don’t. | 除非你想当德国人 通常没人愿意 |
| [25:38] | Before everyone continues to stare at me, | 趁现在大家都在盯着我 |
| [25:41] | if discretion is the goal, | 考虑到纹身的地方 |
| [25:43] | under the balls is one of the least viewed places | 蛋蛋下面是人体上最不容易 |
| [25:47] | on the body. | 被看到的地方之一 |
| [25:49] | – Not for me, man. – Abe, it’s not the time. | -我的可不一样 哥们 -阿贝 别说了 |
| [25:51] | Tim, you are such an embarrassment. | 小炯 你真是令人难堪 |
| [25:56] | This is not the time for levity, | 现在不是说笑的时刻 |
| [25:57] | but Stu does a spot-on you. | 但是司徒模仿的太像了 |
| [25:59] | – That’s impressive. – Isn’t it? | -简直绝了 -我说吧 |
| [26:01] | – That is funny. – Thanks, Tim. | -真是搞笑 -谢谢你 小炯 |
| [26:02] | That means a lot to me. | 这对我意义重大 |
| [26:04] | These shabby shoes I’m wearin’ all the time | *麻衣破鞋伴着我* |
| [26:08] | is full of holes and nails. | *走过风雨许多年* |
| [26:12] | And, brother, if I stepped on a worn out dime, | *倘若踩到五角币* |
| [26:16] | I bet a nickel I could tell you if it was heads or tails. | *五分赌它正或反* |
| [26:21] | I’m not gonna worry wrinkles in my brow, | *满脸褶子不用愁* |
| [26:25] | ’cause nothing’s ever gonna be alright nohow. | *天掉馅饼是空想* |
| [26:29] | No matter how I struggle and strive, | *发愤努力白劳碌* |
| [26:33] | I’ll never get out of this world alive. | *老天从来不赏光* |