| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | *Now you’re looking at a man that’s getting kinda mad.* | *小炯最近很抓狂* |
| [00:10] | *I had lots of luck but it’s all been bad* | *天天霉运一箩筐* |
| [00:14] | *No matter how I struggle and strive,* | *发奋努力白劳碌* |
| [00:18] | *I’ll never get out of this world alive* | *老天从来不赏光* |
| [00:22] | *My fishing pole’s broke, the creek is full of sand,* | *鞋儿破来帽儿破* |
| [00:26] | *My woman run away with another man.* | *女朋友都不要我* |
| [00:30] | *No matter how I struggle and strive,* | *发愤努力白劳碌* |
| [00:34] | *I’ll never get out of this world alive* | *老天从来不赏光* |
| [00:48] | All right, everybody, settle down. And welcome. | 好了 同志们 静一静 欢迎来到这里 |
| [00:50] | We’re here today | 我们今天欢聚在此 |
| [00:56] | – To bestore– – That’s not a word, marie. | -授与 -马姐 那可不是一个词语 |
| [00:58] | To bestow? –Our gratitude. | 授予 我们的感激 |
| [01:00] | – I got this. – Yes sir. | -让我来吧 -好的 老板 |
| [01:01] | And what better way to say “Thank you” than | 没什么比残酷地痛斥 |
| [01:04] | with a brutal mean-spirited roast? | 更好地表达谢意了 |
| [01:07] | – A roast? – Stan, I think you’re up first. | -痛斥 -斯坦 你先来吧 |
| [01:11] | Let me start by saying: One, | 首先我要说 第一 |
| [01:13] | Tim does not deserve this job; | 小炯不应得到这个职位 |
| [01:14] | Two, I think he will fail miserably. | 第二 我认为他会惨败 |
| [01:17] | That is all. | 就这样 |
| [01:20] | – That’s not a joke. – If this company | -那可不像开玩笑的 -如果公司 |
| [01:22] | were to hire an independent auditor, | 是打算聘用一个独立自主的审计员 |
| [01:24] | it would be revealed that tim is overpaid | 那就意味着 小炯的工资过高 |
| [01:27] | and underqualified. | 并且资历不够 |
| [01:28] | It is simply a fact– not up for discussion. | 这是不言自明的事实 |
| [01:32] | “Tim is underqualified” is not a joke. | “小炯资历不够”可不像是玩笑话 |
| [01:34] | – There’s no joke there. – He is terrible. | -他们根本就不是在说笑 -他糟透了 |
| [01:37] | He should be fired, all right? | 他应当被炒鱿鱼 好吧 |
| [01:40] | Structurally, there’s no joke. | 听起来他们不是在说笑的 |
| [01:41] | Just be a good sport, okay? | 拿出点体育精神 好吗 |
| [01:43] | It is a roast. | 这可是个痛斥大会 |
| [01:44] | Guys, all joking aside, | 大伙们 先把玩笑话放一边 |
| [01:45] | Tim is my best friend. | 小炯是我最好的朋友 |
| [01:46] | He’s been there with me at the low points. | 当我跌落低谷是他一直在我身旁 |
| [01:49] | And it turns out they’re because of him | 结果我却发现是因为他 |
| [01:52] | that I had so many low points. | 我的人生才出现如此多低潮 |
| [01:54] | He’s a bad dude. | 他是个坏家伙 |
| [01:56] | Oh, everyone enjoys a good roast. | 大家都很享受精彩的痛斥大会 |
| [02:02] | Tim, how’s it going? | 小炯 进展如何了 |
| [02:04] | – Hey, you crazy son of a bitch. – Pardon me? | -嘿 你个该死的疯子 -说什么来着 |
| [02:06] | Oh hey. You ready for the trip? I’m just practicing | 你准备好出差了吗 我正在练习 |
| [02:08] | for this Minneapolis presentation. | 明尼阿波利斯的解说会 |
| [02:10] | Well, I gotta kind of stop you right there | 我得打断你一下了 |
| [02:13] | because, um… | 因为 呃… |
| [02:14] | – …You’re not gonna go. – I’m not going? | -这趟出差你不用去了 -我不去了 |
| [02:17] | Why would I not go? | 为啥不让我去了 |
| [02:18] | People don’t take you very seriously | 因为同事们都不把你 |
| [02:20] | as a person. | 当人看 |
| [02:21] | – People respect me. – No, they don’t. | -大家都尊重我啊 -他们并不 |
| [02:23] | – That’s the impression I get. – But you only see things | -照我看来是这样的 -那是因为你总用你的 |
| [02:25] | through your own small beady eyes. | 小豆豆眼看事情 |
| [02:27] | I need somebody that people respect as an executive. | 我需要的是一个受到人们尊重的主管 |
| [02:30] | – Who? – Boing. | -谁啊 -我来啦 |
| [02:32] | – Marty. – You’re sending marty? | -马蒂 -你要派马蒂去吗 |
| [02:34] | Damn straight. He’s the safe bet. | 没错 他是最稳妥的选择 |
| [02:36] | No hard feelings. I’ve been doing this a long time. | 别难受 我做着工作很长时间了 |
| [02:38] | – Can I just say it? – What? | -我能说我的想法吗 -什么 |
| [02:40] | This is gonna be ruthless, | 会有点无礼 |
| [02:41] | but on business trips he’s a different guy. | 但是他一出差就变了个人似的 |
| [02:44] | He nails whores, he does coke and he pukes | 他嫖妓 吸毒和呕吐 |
| [02:46] | – and shits in his pants. – Oh please. | -还失禁呢 -行了吧你 |
| [02:49] | Marty gets things done, Tim. | 马蒂总是能完成工作 小炯 |
| [02:51] | He may have a sensitive stomach | 他的肠胃可能是比较敏感 |
| [02:52] | and a bit of a blue streak | 脑袋瓜也不太灵活 |
| [02:53] | and maybe he does have a penchant for cinemax, | 并且他可能爱看成人频道 |
| [02:56] | But beyond that, he is a closer. | 但抛开这些来说 他是个好员工 |
| [02:58] | You could learn a lot from him. | 你能从他身上学到很多 |
| [02:59] | I’m gonna put my foot down here. | 我下定决定了 |
| [03:00] | Boss, I was promoted for a reason. | 老板 我升职是有理有据的 |
| [03:03] | I’m a skilled executive. | 我是个有能力的主管 |
| [03:04] | Now let me do my job. | 让我好好地完成我的工作吧 |
| [03:06] | All right. Marty, I’m gonna let | 好吧 马蒂 我得让 |
| [03:08] | the kid run with the ball. | 这小伙子重掌大旗 |
| [03:09] | – Tim, you’re back in. – Thank you. | -小炯 你可以去出差 -谢谢 |
| [03:11] | Sorry, Mart. | 对不起 马蒂 |
| [03:14] | – You son of a bitch. – You talkin’ to me? | -你这狗娘养的 -你在跟我说话吗 |
| [03:16] | You just cost me a business trip | 你让我失去了出差的机会 |
| [03:17] | and I love business trips more than anything in my life, | 我的人生中最爱就是出差了 |
| [03:20] | including my wife and two boys. | 比爱我的妻儿更甚 |
| [03:22] | You love going to Minnesota and staying in a holiday inn | 比起你的孩子 你更爱呆在 |
| [03:24] | more than you love your children? | 明尼苏达州的酒店里 |
| [03:26] | You passing judgment on me? | 你是在批判我吗 |
| [03:27] | A little bit. | 有一点儿 |
| [03:31] | Oh, here they are: The big guns from N.Y. City! | 他们来了 纽约城的大人物们 |
| [03:35] | Hello, boys. This here is Tim– | 你好 伙计们 这是小炯 |
| [03:40] | Nice to meet you. | 很高兴认识你们 |
| [03:41] | Hey, have I met you before? | 我在哪里见过你吗 |
| [03:42] | I don’t know. I never get into weird situations, so– | 不知道啊 我从未碰过奇怪的事 所以 |
| [03:46] | Wait a second. You’re the pudding boy. | 等等 你是布丁男孩 |
| [03:49] | – Oh fuck. – Ken. | -靠 -肯 |
| [03:51] | I’m not. I’m not. | 我不是 我不是 |
| [03:52] | Holy mackerel, you are! Man! | 我勒个去 真的是你啊 |
| [03:56] | Gentlemen, what is it we’re talking about? | 先生们 你们在说什么呢 |
| [03:58] | – Look it up on Youtube. – No, I heard– | -在优酷上找找看 -不 我听说 |
| [03:59] | – No, here it is. Got it. Check it out. – Please. | -找到了 来瞧瞧 -拜托 |
| [04:03] | With pudding this good, | 享用如此美味的布丁 |
| [04:04] | sometimes things can get a little messy. | 有时候会弄得一团糟 |
| [04:08] | Oopsie-doopsie. I made a pudding whoopsie. | 死了死了 我满脸都是布丁屎 |
| [04:11] | Oh, pudding boy, you filthy rascal. | 哎呀 布丁男孩 你这邋遢的小淘气 |
| [04:15] | Minnesota’s finest old style pudding. | 明尼苏达州最优质的传统布丁 |
| [04:18] | A family favorite since 1923. | 从1923年的老字号 享誉每个家庭 |
| [04:22] | Oopsie-doopsie. | 死了死了 |
| [04:24] | Okay, fine fine. | 好了好了 |
| [04:26] | -Wow. – Oh, that’s great. | -哇 -真棒啊 |
| [04:28] | I was in a regional pudding ad when I was 10 years old. | 我十岁的时候拍过一个当地的布丁广告 |
| [04:29] | To be honest, I can’t believe you even remember it. | 实话说 我不敢相信你们还记得它 |
| [04:32] | It aired in Minnesota for years. | 这个广告在明尼苏达播了很多年 |
| [04:34] | It’s a classic. | 是个经典 |
| [04:35] | Well, listen, I’m not here to talk about that. | 听着 我来这可不是为了谈这个 |
| [04:36] | It’s funny, we had a laugh– | 这很搞笑 我们乐了一把 |
| [04:38] | Tim, say the line. | 小炯 来段广告词 |
| [04:39] | Come on, you gotta say the line. | 来嘛 说下广告词 |
| [04:40] | I’m not gonna say the line. | 我不会说的 |
| [04:41] | If you run into Tom Cruise, | 要是碰到阿汤哥 |
| [04:43] | he’s gonna say, “You had me at hello.” | 他也会说 “我对你一见钟情” |
| [04:45] | – Say the line. – Come on, puddin’ boy. | -说那句广告词 -说吧 布丁娃 |
| [04:47] | Say it. | 说吧 |
| [04:47] | Oopsie-doopsie. I made a pudding whoopsie. | 死了死了 我满脸都是布丁屎 |
| [04:53] | I can’t believe we’re seeing this. | 不敢相信我们竟有幸目睹此景 |
| [04:55] | Do the dance. | 跳下那支舞 |
| [04:56] | – I’m not doing the dance. – Oh, do the dance. | -我才不跳 -跳吧 |
| [04:58] | – Boss, you gonna– – Come on. | -头儿 你得 -来嘛 |
| [04:59] | – I’m not doing the dance. – Just do the fucking dance! | -我不会跳的 -跳那支该死的舞 |
| [05:01] | Tim, I think the only way | 小炯 我觉得摆脱窘境的 |
| [05:02] | to get out of this might be if you dance. | 唯一办法 就是你跳舞 |
| [05:04] | Okay, fine, here’s the dance. | 好吧 看着 我跳了 |
| [05:06] | – Good god. – How’s that? | -老天啊 -怎么样 |
| [05:08] | This is unbelievable. | 不可思议 |
| [05:09] | Tickle him, Ken. Tickle him. | 挠他痒痒 肯 挠他痒痒 |
| [05:10] | Don’t tickle me. No one’s tickling anyone. | 别挠我 不许挠人 |
| [05:12] | I gotta tickle you a little bit. | 我就轻轻挠你几下 |
| [05:15] | 65 years in business, | 我入行65年 |
| [05:17] | and I have never experienced such an unmitigated disaster. | 还从没遇到过如此彻底的悲剧 |
| [05:20] | What do you mean? That was great. | 什么意思 这很好啊 |
| [05:22] | – We were schmoozing. – That was not schmoozing. | -我们就是闲聊 -那可不是闲聊 |
| [05:24] | – Social– – No, that was not socializing. | -交际 -不 那可不算交际 |
| [05:26] | He got me in a headlock and made me dance. | 他夹着我的脑袋 让我跳舞 |
| [05:27] | – It was great. – It was some of the worst business behavior | -挺好的呀 -这是我见过的最糟的 |
| [05:30] | – I’ve ever seen ever. – I beg to differ. | -商场举止 -恕我不能苟同 |
| [05:33] | – What would you know? – All right, | -你知道个毛 -好吧 |
| [05:34] | we just need to figure out our next play. | 我们只要订好下次该怎么做就行 |
| [05:36] | Tim, there’s no next play. | 小炯 没有下次了 |
| [05:37] | The clients see you as a dribbling pudding-pusher. | 这些客户把你看做一个窝囊的补丁推销员 |
| [05:40] | I’m still doing the presentation, right? | 演示总还得我来做的吧 |
| [05:42] | I’m pulling you out. | 我不打算让你做了 |
| [05:43] | Because I did a pudding commercial. | 就因为我拍过一个布丁广告 |
| [05:44] | You chose to do a pudding | 在布丁和演示中 |
| [05:46] | commercial over doing this presentation. | 你选择了布丁 |
| [05:47] | You made your choice. | 你已经做出选择了 |
| [05:49] | I knew that thing would come back to haunt me. | 我就知道这广告后患无穷 |
| [05:50] | Somebody else will be taking your place. Gonna be fantastic. | 我得找人来替换你 那样会好很多 |
| [05:53] | – You’re flying someone in. – Oh yeah. | -你打算换别人来 -没错 |
| [05:54] | – Who? – You really need me to say it? | -换谁 -你真的想让我说出来吗 |
| [05:59] | I love sitting in business class. | 我喜欢坐在商务舱 |
| [06:03] | – I’ve got an M.B.A., you know. – That’s nice. | -知道吗 我有个MBA -不错嘛 |
| [06:06] | – Uh, so do I. – No. | -我也有 -不 |
| [06:08] | I don’t think you got the kind of M.B.A. that I got. | 我说的MBA不是指工商管理硕士 |
| [06:10] | I’m talking about Marty Boner Alert. | 而是马蒂雄起警报 |
| [06:13] | Are you kidding me? | 你在开玩笑吗 |
| [06:15] | Nothing to worry about, everybody– | 没什么好担心的 同志们 |
| [06:17] | Just a Marty Boner alert. | 只是马蒂雄起警报而已 |
| [06:19] | I’m Marty by the way. | 顺便说下 我就是马蒂 |
| [06:22] | You filthy rascal. | 你这邋遢的小淘气 |
| [06:24] | How could you never have told me about this? | 你怎么从没跟我说过这事 |
| [06:27] | – I was 10. – It is adorable. | -我那时才10岁 -这太棒了 |
| [06:28] | I was 10. Leave it be. | 我那时才10岁 饶了我吧 |
| [06:30] | I am sending it to my family immediately. | 我这就让我家人都看看 |
| [06:31] | – Please don’t. Please don’t. – Come on. | -别这样 请别这样 -拜托 |
| [06:33] | – Hold on, hold on. – What? | -等等 等等 -怎么了 |
| [06:35] | – What’s happening? – I’m getting under the table. | -发生什么了 -我正往桌子下面躲 |
| [06:37] | Why are you getting under the table? | 为什么要往桌子下面躲 |
| [06:38] | The clients are here. | 那两个客户在这 |
| [06:39] | – Okay. – I don’t want ’em to see me. | -好吧 -我不想让他们看到我 |
| [06:41] | – They’re gonna make me dance. – Go do it. | -他们又会让我跳舞的 -那就去跳 |
| [06:46] | – You have to dance, Tim. – I am not dancing. | -你得跳舞 小炯 -我不跳 |
| [06:49] | March over there and do it. | 走过去 好好跳 |
| [06:51] | All right, you know what I’m gonna do? | 好吧 你知道我要做什么吗 |
| [06:54] | I’m gonna lay down the fuckin’ law, | 我他妈的要给他们立规矩 |
| [06:56] | show ’em the real Tim, | 让他们见识下真正的小炯 |
| [06:58] | the 25-year-old Tim. | 25岁的小炯 |
| [06:59] | – Do it. – The grown man, right? | -那就去吧 -像成熟男人那样对吧 |
| [07:01] | – And maybe the dance too. – I’ll keep that in my back pocket. | -或许舞还是得跳 -我会用作备选的 |
| [07:07] | – Ken and Jim. – Oh hi. | -肯 吉姆 -你好 |
| [07:11] | Puddin’ boy. Oopsie-whoopsie. | 布丁娃 哎呦喂呀 |
| [07:13] | Yeah, we said we were not gonna do that again today. | 我们说好了今天不能再这样了 |
| [07:16] | Yeah, you’re right. Look, uh, Tim, | 你是对的 听着 小炯 |
| [07:18] | from the bottom of my heart, and I truly mean this: | 我真心真意地对你说 |
| [07:20] | sorry about the tickling, | 很抱歉挠了你 |
| [07:21] | sorry about the dancing, sorry about shoving you. | 很抱歉逼你跳舞 对你推推搡搡 |
| [07:24] | I’m sorry we carried you around on our shoulders for so long. | 很抱歉我们把你扛在肩上到处跑了那么久 |
| [07:27] | You know, it went past the point where people do that | 你知道 做这种事根本就没有任何意义 |
| [07:30] | and just ended gratuitous. | 从头到尾 毫无意义 |
| [07:31] | Just businessmen blowing off some steam. | 就是生意人偶尔发泄一下 |
| [07:34] | But, I mean, we went up the elevator with you on our shoulders, | 但是我是说 我们扛着你坐电梯上楼 |
| [07:36] | and then back down again and out into the parking lot. | 然后再下来 跑到停车场 |
| [07:39] | – I feel embarrassed now. – Yeah. | -我现在觉得很羞愧 -是啊 |
| [07:41] | Hey, you wanna join us? | 跟我们一起喝一杯吗 |
| [07:42] | Oh, yeah. That’d be great. | 好呀 那好极了 |
| [07:44] | Well, you must be quite the rising star over there, | 你必然是这里的冉冉升起的新星 |
| [07:49] | It’s not about age. It’s about knowledge of the material. | 这与年龄无关 而是因为我有相关知识 |
| [07:53] | When it comes to new media– | 说起新媒体 |
| [07:54] | Hello, Minneapolis. | 你好 明尼阿波利斯 |
| [07:57] | Holy shit. | 妈的 |
| [08:00] | That guy’s moonwalking right now. | 那家伙在跳太空步 |
| [08:01] | I am hetero. Hoo hoo hoo! | 我是个直男 吼吼吼 |
| [08:04] | – Jesus. – This is a shameful display. | -天啊 -这场面真丢人 |
| [08:07] | I might actually know that guy. | 其实我好像认识那家伙 |
| [08:09] | – You know the moonwalker? – No. | -你认识那个跳太空步的人 -不是吧 |
| [08:13] | – What an entrance. – You should see my exit. | -多么非凡的入场式 -我的退场更妙 |
| [08:15] | – What? – Anyway, I was just walking the guys through | -什么 -不管怎么说 我正向他们 |
| [08:18] | the basic overview of– | 介绍基本情况 |
| [08:18] | Yeah, listen guys, | 好吧 听着 伙计们 |
| [08:20] | I gotta take a dump. Tim, why don’t you just come with me? | 我要去大号 小炯 跟我一起去吧 |
| [08:23] | – Marty. – I gotta take a dump. | -马蒂 -我得去大个便 |
| [08:26] | I didn’t really need to take a dump. That was a trick, Tim. | 小炯 我只是借口大号 你懂的 |
| [08:29] | – Great trick. – Sounds like you’re really screwing up, man. | -好借口 -看起来你好像搞砸了 |
| [08:31] | – I just started to turn this around. – Yeah? | -我试着扭转局面 -什么 |
| [08:34] | – These guys like me. – Then | -这些人喜欢我 -那 |
| [08:35] | why was I put on an express flight out here? | 为什么我还被派遣大老远飞来这了 |
| [08:37] | I don’t know. Why don’t you go home? | 我不知道 你咋不直接回家呢 |
| [08:39] | I’m here to show you how it’s done. | 我来这是为了让你看看要怎么做事 |
| [08:41] | I don’t need… Marty, I’ve seen you on business trips. | 我不需要 马蒂 我看过你出差啊 |
| [08:44] | – Yeah? – It’s all coke and hookers. | -怎么样 -全是可卡因和妓女 |
| [08:46] | Yeah? Well, that’s what business trips are | 那又如何 这确实是出差 |
| [08:48] | and that’s how 90% of the world’s business transactions are made. | 而且世上九成商业交易都是这样完成的 |
| [08:52] | – 90%? I question that statistic. – 90%. | -九成吗 我不相信 -是九成 |
| [08:54] | How do you think Goldman met Sachs? On a bender in Rhode island, | 你以为高盛和萨克斯会怎么做交易 |
| [08:57] | Snortin’ coke off a burlesque dancer’s butt. | 罗德岛一酒吧 舞女臀上吸着毒就成了 |
| [08:59] | – That is a fabricated story. – Well… | -这纯属虚构 -这… |
| [09:02] | Coke and burlesque dancers… off their butt… | 从…从舞女们的屁股上吸着可卡因 |
| [09:04] | That is how it all… coke is old. | 这就是全部真相 还是陈年可卡因 |
| [09:06] | It was going so well. I really wish you hadn’t shown up. | 这里一切顺利 我真心不希望你出现 |
| [09:08] | Let me tell you something: My home life may be shit, | 实话告诉你 或许我的生活一团糟 |
| [09:11] | my boys may insult me every | 或许我的儿子们成天辱骂我 |
| [09:12] | day and my wife may be clinically depressed, | 我的妻子有抑郁倾向 |
| [09:14] | but I am the lord of the road. | 但我走的是我自己的路 |
| [09:17] | Follow my lead, son. | 跟着我的大旗走 孩子 |
| [09:19] | – Are you trying to be inspirational? – Yes. | -你在试着给我打气嘛 -是的 |
| [09:21] | That is depressing as hell. | 我感觉阴云密布 |
| [09:23] | All right, where were we? New media? | 好吧 说到哪儿了 新的媒介吗 |
| [09:25] | A round of jagermeister, please. | 每人一杯野格酒 谢谢 |
| [09:26] | Okay, great. Four jagermeisters. | 好吧 四杯野格酒 |
| [09:28] | – No no no. – No. | -不不不 -不 |
| [09:29] | – Jagermeister? – Yeah. | -野格酒吗 -没错 |
| [09:30] | – Jagermeister?! – Please give us a minute. | -真的是野格酒吗 -再等一下行吗 |
| [09:32] | Oh sure. | 当然 |
| [09:34] | Oh my god. Oh, you’re pudding boy. | 天呐 你是布丁男孩 |
| [09:36] | – How does everyone know this? – What’s pudding boy? | -怎么谁都知道了 -啥是布丁男孩 |
| [09:38] | – You don’t know this? – No sir. | -你不知道吗 -不知道 |
| [09:40] | Tim was in a pudding campaign as a kid | 小炯还是孩子时 拍摄过布丁广告 |
| [09:42] | – And he’s famous around here. – Oh my god. | -他在这带家喻户晓 -天呐 |
| [09:44] | – You haven’t changed a bit. – I have in so many ways. | -你没长变啊 -我变多了 |
| [09:46] | – Oh no no no, no no. – So grown up. | -不不不不不 -都这么大了 |
| [09:48] | – You look the same. – Holy shit. | -你一点儿没变 -天啊 |
| [09:50] | – You’re the first famous person I’ve ever met. – Famous? | -你是我遇到的头一个名人 -名人 |
| [09:52] | – Do you know Brad Pitt? – Yes, he does. | -你知道布拉德·皮特吗 -他知道 |
| [09:54] | – Oh my god. – Marty, what are you doing? | -天啊 -马蒂 你在干啥啊 |
| [09:56] | We need to milk this, show these clients a good time. | 我们顺水推舟 让这些客户开心一下 |
| [09:59] | – Do you want to party with a celebrity? – Yeah. Yeah. | -你想开派对庆祝一下吗 -当然当然 |
| [10:01] | Good. Tim’s got Robert Wagner in his speed-dial. | 很好 小炯有罗伯特·瓦格纳的电话 |
| [10:04] | – Whoa. – How do you know Robert Wagner? | -哇 -你是怎么认识罗伯特的 |
| [10:07] | I hang out with a lot of older old-school hollywood legends. | 就上次跟好多老一辈好莱坞传奇人物逛街 |
| [10:10] | – Really? – From a commercial? | -真的吗 -是商业电影那些人吗 |
| [10:12] | – Yep. – Call him, Tim. | -是的 -打给他 小炯 |
| [10:14] | I’m gonna call Robert Wagner? | 打给罗伯特·瓦格纳吗 |
| [10:16] | – Right now, heart to heart. – Call him. | -就现在 直接打 -打给他 |
| [10:18] | All right. I’m getting his voicemail. | 好吧 是语音信箱 |
| [10:21] | Hey Rob, it’s Tim. | 罗伯吗 是小炯 |
| [10:23] | I heard you’re in Minneapolis. | 我听说你在明尼阿波利斯市 |
| [10:25] | If you’re still awake, | 如果你还醒着 |
| [10:27] | even though you’re 81 years old, | 要来跟我们一起开派对吗 |
| [10:29] | why don’t we meet up and party? | 就算你已经年过八十了 |
| [10:31] | I’m with some business guys. | 我跟一些商业伙伴一起 |
| [10:32] | – Oh my god. – We’ll have some jagers and then go out. | -天啊 -喝点野格酒我们就出去吧 |
| [10:35] | – Do you want to go with us? – Oh– oh yes. | -一起去吗 -是啊 当然 |
| [10:37] | – She doesn’t. She’s working. – I do. Oh no no no no. | -她不去 她在工作 -我去 不 |
| [10:39] | No, I get off in 20 minutes. | 不 我还有二十分钟就下班了 |
| [10:40] | We’re all gonna get off in 20 minutes. Am I right, gentlemen? | 我们二十分钟后都完事了 先生们对吗 |
| [10:48] | – What are we doin’? – We’re | -我们要做什么 -我们只要让 |
| [10:49] | just letting Minneapolis know we’ve arrived. | 明尼阿波利斯知道 我们到了 |
| [10:51] | Yeah, I live here. All right. | 是的 我住在这 太好了 |
| [10:54] | We’re just honking at teenagers. | 我们要像少年们一样大按喇叭 |
| [10:56] | Somebody get this guy a drink. | 有人能给这家伙一杯酒吗 |
| [10:57] | Keep laying on that horn, Tim. | 小炯 一直按喇叭 |
| [11:01] | Why do you want me to keep honking? I don’t even get it. | 我不明白 你怎么要我一直按喇叭 |
| [11:03] | – Yeah. – Just honking? | -是的 -一直按吗 |
| [11:04] | – Yeah, – beep beep. Come on. | -是的 -哔哔哔哔 赶快 |
| [11:06] | She likes the honking. | 她喜欢喇叭声 |
| [11:08] | I love it. | 我喜欢这声儿 |
| [11:12] | I’m not sure it’s fun, but it sure is disrespectful. | 我不确信这是否有趣 但确实很失礼 |
| [11:15] | Hey Tim, do you think you | 小炯 你能顺路开到 |
| [11:16] | could swing by the hotel and drop us off? | 宾馆门口吗 我们在那下车 |
| [11:18] | – Yeah, I apologize for this. – It turned into a weird evening. | -行 我很抱歉 -今夜气氛很诡异 |
| [11:20] | -Oh no – Oh no. | -噢 不 -不要吧 |
| [11:22] | Oh fuck, pudding boy. | 我勒个去 布丁男孩 |
| [11:24] | – Hide me. – Shit. I have an open container in my lap. | -掩护我 -擦 来我腿上吧 |
| [11:27] | – Marty has a bag of cocaine. – Tell them I’m 18. | -马蒂有包可卡因 -告诉他们我十八 |
| [11:31] | I wouldn’t survive in jail. | 我在监狱里活不下去 |
| [11:34] | – Hey, you need the license… – sir! | -要看驾照吗 -先生 |
| [11:36] | – Whoops. – Sir, – No? | -哇 -先生 -怎么了 |
| [11:37] | would you please step back into your vehicle? | 可以回到你车上吗 |
| [11:40] | Do you want to see the rental agreement? | 你想看租赁合同吗 |
| [11:41] | Get back in your vicle, right now. | 回你车上去 立刻 |
| [11:42] | Do not make me. Get back in the vehicle now. | 别逼我 马上回车上去 |
| [11:45] | Tim’s getting in the vehicle. | 小炯这就回去 |
| [11:47] | Oh man, this is not good. | 兄弟 这不大好 |
| [11:49] | – Say the catchphrase. – Say the… what? | -按老规矩说 -说…什么来着 |
| [11:51] | – Yes, say it. – What kind of bizarre advice is that? | -说出来 -这算哪门子建议 |
| [11:52] | – I’m not saying the catchphrase. – Sir? Sir. | -我不知道说什么 -先生 先生 |
| [11:55] | – Hey. – Listen to me. Hey. | -是的 -听我说 嘿 |
| [11:56] | I’m gonna need you to stop whispering. | 你们别在那咬耳朵 |
| [11:59] | – Have you been drinking tonight? – Say it now. | -你今晚有没有喝酒 -快说 |
| [12:01] | – Do it. – Everyone can hear you. That’s not whispering. | -快 -都听到了 这不是悄悄话 |
| [12:03] | It’ll work. | 会管用的 |
| [12:05] | Hey, can I– | 我能 |
| [12:07] | – Can I just say something in case it helps? – Say it quick. | -我能说点什么吗 -赶紧说 |
| [12:11] | Oopsie-doopsie. I made a pudding whoopsie. | 死了死了 我满脸都是布丁屎 |
| [12:16] | Did you just use a singsongy kind of rhyme | 你是用说唱的方式 |
| [12:18] | – To tell me that you shit your pants? – What? | -告诉我你拉在裤子里了吗 -什么 |
| [12:21] | 4-12, I got a driver here who is shit-your-pants drunk. | 412 这有个司机醉到拉在裤子里了 |
| [12:25] | I’m gonna need you to send a wagon, | 把警车开过来 |
| [12:27] | preferably one that’ll be easy to hose out. | 最好是方便洗车的 |
| [12:28] | If you let me do the dance, I think this’ll all go away. | 你让我跳个舞的话 就没什么事了 |
| [12:30] | I do not want you getting out with shit in your pants. | 你别出来 裤子上还带着屎呢 |
| [12:32] | Please stay where you are. | 请待在原地不动 |
| [12:37] | I mean, does anyone– does anyone know | 有谁 有谁会知道 |
| [12:40] | what “New media” even means? | 新媒体到底是什么吗 |
| [12:43] | To illustrate my point, | 为了阐述我的看法 |
| [12:44] | let me tell you about the time I was on a trip | 我想说说我的一次旅行 |
| [12:46] | to raleigh-durham, by way of akron-canton. | 从阿克伦坎通机场前往洛利杜罕机场 |
| [12:49] | And I was in a hot tub with two hookers. | 当时我和两个三陪女躺在浴池里 |
| [12:51] | He’s clearly not sticking to the deck I prepared. | 他显然没有我准备地充分 |
| [12:54] | And we were just drinking some courvoisier | 我们喝了点拿破仑干邑 |
| [12:57] | and bubbles were shootin’ up their cracks. | 泡沫猛地破裂 |
| [13:00] | So in your opinion, this presentation’s going well? | 依你看来 这个演说很不错吗 |
| [13:01] | – You like his performance? – Say what you will about Marty, | -你喜欢他的演说 -随你怎么说马蒂 |
| [13:04] | but he’s never been arrested for filling his slacks with poop. | 他可没有因为裤子里有大便而被逮捕 |
| [13:18] | Oh, quite a camp-out here. | 瞧这露营的规模 |
| [13:20] | – Whoa. – Hey dudes. | -哇 -嘿 伙计们 |
| [13:22] | – Hey. – Hi. | -嘿 -嗨 |
| [13:24] | Listen, we’ve got a lot of groceries here. Do you mind? | 我们买了很多东西 介意让开点吗 |
| [13:26] | You guys walking up to us | 你们从我们前面走过 |
| [13:28] | and bragging about how much groceries you have? | 还要炫耀你们买了很多东西 |
| [13:29] | “Look at me. I got groceries.” | 看看我 买了很多东西哟 |
| [13:31] | I’m not bragging. I’m saying they’re heavy. | 我没有炫耀 只是说这很沉罢了 |
| [13:33] | – Oh, I see. Yeah. – We need to get inside. | -我是明白了 -我们得进去 |
| [13:35] | – Do you mind? – Yeah yeah, Mr. I’ve-got-so-much-food- | -行吗 -行啊 先生 东西太多 |
| [13:37] | it’s-too-heavy- I-can’t-carry-it. | 都提不动了是吧 |
| [13:39] | Oh yeah, “I got food I gotta bring into my home.” | 就是 我有吃的要带回家哟 |
| [13:41] | Look at this smug son of a bitch. | 看看这得意的小兔崽子 |
| [13:42] | Um, can we just get by? | 我们能过去了吗 |
| [13:44] | Yeah yeah, sure. Five dollars. | 当然 当然 给五美元 |
| [13:45] | – Five dollars? – Excuse me? | -五美元 -你说什么 |
| [13:48] | Toll. Got a toll. | 过路费 给过路费 |
| [13:50] | – Yeah. – There’s a toll to get into the building? | -是吗 -进这栋楼要交过路费 |
| [13:52] | – Toll booth. – What? | -收费处 -什么 |
| [13:53] | Guys, honestly, I can’t afford it. | 伙计 坦白讲 我付不起 |
| [13:55] | What am I seeing here? I’m seein’ hot pockets, o.J. | 让我看看 有速冻披萨 橘子汁 |
| [13:57] | You give me the hot pockets and the o.J., we’ll call it even. | 给我速冻披萨和橘子汁 就可抵消了 |
| [13:59] | They’re my two favorite things in the bag. | 这里面我最喜欢的就是这两个 |
| [14:01] | This is getting tedious. Give us the whole bag. | 越来越不像话了 把整袋都给我 |
| [14:02] | We’ll choose what we want and whatever we got left, you get back. | 把我们要的挑出来 剩下的就归你了 |
| [14:06] | I’m gonna take control. I’m gonna give you guys the food. | 由我来决定 把吃的都给你们 |
| [14:08] | – Yeah. – All right. | -耶 -好吧 |
| [14:11] | Everybody wins, everybody wins. | 双赢 双赢 |
| [14:13] | I can’t believe you just did this. | 我不敢相信你做了什么 |
| [14:15] | – We’re all having a nice day now. – Macher. | -大家都有了美好的一天 -老大 |
| [14:17] | I can’t believe that you gave them hot pockets and orange juice. | 我不敢相信你把速冻披萨和橘汁给他们了 |
| [14:20] | – I– Amy– – why did you do that? | -我 小美 -你为什么这么做 |
| [14:22] | It was a panic-stricken decision. | 这是因为惊慌失措而做的决定 |
| [14:24] | Now you’re encouraging them and they’re never gonna leave. | 你现在给了他们甜头 他们是不会走了 |
| [14:26] | Well, get used to ’em. They seem like nice guys. | 习惯就好啦 他们看上去还不错 |
| [14:29] | Knock knock. | 咚 咚 |
| [14:30] | – Knock knock knock. – Oh wait. | -咚咚咚 -等等 |
| [14:32] | Bashko, are you saying “Knock knock knock” Out there? | 巴斯克 是你在外面说咚咚咚吗 |
| [14:34] | It’s me Bashko. Whadduuuuuuup? | 是我巴斯克 好丫 |
| [14:38] | That’s… dated. | 这过时了 |
| [14:39] | Whadduuuuuuup? | 好丫 |
| [14:41] | – Remember? – What’s going on, Bashko? | -记得吗 -什么事 巴斯克 |
| [14:43] | I ask the rude homelesses to leave. | 我叫那些无礼的流浪汉滚蛋了 |
| [14:46] | – Oh, good job. – Good. | -做得好 -好啊 |
| [14:48] | – So they’re gone? – No, absolutely not. | -他们走了吗 -没有 绝对没有 |
| [14:50] | The opposite. They follow me inside the building | 恰好相反 他们跟着我进楼了 |
| [14:52] | And now they’re camping out in lobby. | 他们现在在大堂里打地铺 |
| [14:54] | – What? – Just for your knowledges. | -什么 -就想和你们说一声 |
| [14:59] | – Are you drunk? – I may be, little. | -你醉了吗 -也许 有点 |
| [15:01] | You’re not a great superintendent. | 你不是个很好的管房人 |
| [15:04] | I’m not the worst. Goodbyyyyyye. | 可我不是最差的 白白 |
| [15:10] | Tim, we’re moving out. | 小炯 我们得搬家 |
| [15:12] | Normally, I’d have a snappy comeback, but I think you’re right. | 我通常会马上反驳 但我想你是对的 |
| [15:18] | So yeah, the thing about us is just how | 我们要说明的是 |
| [15:20] | how we value the concept of community. | 我们非常看重社区这个概念 |
| [15:23] | Call me old-fashioned, | 叫我老古董吧 |
| [15:26] | but where have all the neighbors gone in this world? | 可邻里街坊怎么都不见了 |
| [15:29] | – Hmm. – Oh, well said, Tim. | -嗯 -说得好 小炯 |
| [15:31] | – Well, very– – can I say, Sharon– | -非常 -我能这样称呼吗 纱伦 |
| [15:33] | – Sharon? It is sharon, right? – Sharon: It is. | -纱伦 是纱伦 对吧 -是的 |
| [15:36] | – I went to school with a girl named sharon. – Really. | -我上学时有个女孩叫纱伦 -是吗 |
| [15:38] | – Good lookin’ lady. – Oh. | -很美的女人 -噢 |
| [15:40] | – Gee, I– – We usually go off and vote in private, | -天呐 我 -我们通常要私下投票 |
| [15:44] | but I think we’re all comfortable with you becoming tenants, | 但我想大家都对你这个房客很放心 |
| [15:47] | – So congratulations. – Agree. | -恭喜入住 -同意 |
| [15:49] | – Wow. – We nailed it? | -哇 -敲定了吗 |
| [15:50] | Thank you guys. | 谢谢大家 |
| [15:50] | I have to say you actually did really nail it. | 我得说确定一定以及肯定敲定了 |
| [15:53] | I was quite impressed. | 你们太棒了 |
| [15:54] | The only thing is we have this one privacy form | 唯一要说的是我们的这个隐私表格 |
| [15:57] | Because we have a celebrity | 因为有位名人 |
| [15:58] | that lives in the building. | 住在这栋楼里 |
| [15:59] | That’s a big form. What’s it say? | 这叠文件有点厚 有些什么条款 |
| [16:02] | It just says you won’t tell anyone that he lives here | 不要让任何人知道他住在这儿 |
| [16:06] | and if you do, you’re gonna be subject to legal action | 要不然你就会被起诉 |
| [16:08] | and quite possibly eviction. | 很有可能被逐出社区 |
| [16:10] | – I think we’re okay with that. – We’re okay with that? | -可以接受 -可以吗 |
| [16:13] | Where do we sign? | 我们该在哪里签名 |
| [16:17] | – You were great. – Thank you very much. | -你太能干了 -多谢夸奖 |
| [16:20] | You should be that way all the tmei. | 要是你能保持这样该多好 |
| [16:22] | – I am. – You’re not. | -我一向如此能干 -才没有 |
| [16:23] | – That’s my personality. – Not even close. | -这本就是我的性格 -差远了 |
| [16:25] | – Smooth, relaxed and charming. – Really, no. | -圆滑 轻松 魅力十足 -没有 |
| [16:27] | We should have talked about that privacy thing. | 我们因该谈谈保密协议 |
| [16:28] | I don’t know how I feel about that. | 我不清楚我的想法 |
| [16:30] | This guy sounds like a serious egomaniac. | 那家伙像是个自大狂 |
| [16:33] | We don’t even know who he is. | 我们都不认识他 |
| [16:35] | I don’t wanna know. I gotta say, I miss– | 我不想认识 我得说 |
| [16:37] | I miss Bashko. | 我想巴斯克了 |
| [16:39] | Oh, you miss Bashko– | 你想念那个人了 |
| [16:40] | The sweaty ukranian superintendent | 那个从不洗澡 |
| [16:42] | who never bathes, always steals our mail | 偷我们邮件 试图向我妈屁股吐口水的 |
| [16:45] | and tried to spit on my mom’s butt? | 乌克兰总管 |
| [16:48] | The more you say, the more I miss him. | 你越说我越想他了 |
| [16:58] | – Need a hand there, mate? – Oh no, I’m good. | -需要帮忙吗 -我很好 |
| [17:00] | Well, nice to meet you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [17:04] | – What a dick. – Who are you talking about? | -什么人呀 -你说谁 |
| [17:07] | Our famous neighbor. I just met him in the elevator. | 我们的明星邻居 我在电梯上看见他了 |
| [17:09] | No way. Who is it? Who is it? | 是谁 是谁 |
| [17:10] | – You ready? – Yes. | -准备好听了吗 -是 |
| [17:11] | – Hugh Jackman. – What?! | -休·杰克曼[澳大利亚演员] -什么 |
| [17:13] | Hugh jackman lives in this building? | 休·杰克曼住在我们楼里 |
| [17:15] | – No way. – He’s trying to act all down-to-earth. | -难以置信 -他表现得很谦逊 |
| [17:18] | He says, “Hi, I’m Hugh.” | 他说 “嗨 我是休” |
| [17:20] | He is so hot. Sexiest man alive. | 他是目前世上最性感的男人 |
| [17:23] | He was voted “Sexiest man alive.” | 他的确被评为”最性感男人” |
| [17:25] | – Who says, “Hi, I’m hugh”? – Hugh Jackman. | -谁会说”嗨 我是休” -休·杰克曼 |
| [17:28] | Hugh hot-fucking Jackman. Are you kidding me? | 休·性感的·杰克曼 天呐 |
| [17:31] | Why are you so excited? I’ve never seen you like this. | 你干嘛这么激动 我从没看见你这样 |
| [17:32] | – If he said hi to me, do you know what I would do? – Say hello? | -我要碰上这种情况会干嘛 -打招呼 |
| [17:36] | I would rip my shirt off. | 我会撕开我的衣服 |
| [17:38] | You’re just gonna get naked in the elevator? | 你要在电梯里赤身裸体 |
| [17:40] | In front of him, yes. | 是的 在他面前 |
| [17:41] | You realize he’s famous for playing a wolverine. | 他是演金刚狼出名的 |
| [17:43] | That’s basically a muskrat. | 换言之他演的是麝鼠 |
| [17:45] | You’re attracted to a half-man, half-muskrat. | 你居然被半人半鼠的生物吸引了 |
| [17:47] | Yeah, if they’re named Hugh Jackman. | 只要是休·杰克曼就行 |
| [17:49] | Hugh jackman the muskrat? Any day. | 麝鼠休·杰克曼 随时为他效劳 |
| [17:54] | – Amy. – Brooke, you smell nice. | -小美 -布鲁克 你好香 |
| [17:57] | This place is amazing, amy. | 这地儿太棒了恶 小美 |
| [18:00] | Never acknowledges what I say. | 她永远无视我 |
| [18:02] | She never acknowledges when I talk. | 她永远把我的话当耳边风 |
| [18:03] | Thank you. I could not be happier. | 谢谢 我高兴至极 |
| [18:05] | Hey, there he is, there he is. | 他来了 他来了 |
| [18:07] | Thank god. . | 谢天谢地 |
| [18:08] | – You okay? – I just saw | -还好吗 -我刚看见 |
| [18:11] | The biggest celebrity I have ever met in my life. | 我人生中遇到过最出名的人 |
| [18:14] | – He held the door open for me. – Really? | -他帮我推着门 -是吗 |
| [18:16] | – You’re never gonna guess who it is. – Hugh jackman. | -你猜不到我看见了谁 -休·杰克曼 |
| [18:18] | Wait, how’d you– does he live here? | 你怎么 他住这儿吗 |
| [18:21] | Okay, while we can’t say whether he actually lives here… | 这个我们不能说 |
| [18:25] | – That means it’s real. – …I can say there is a chance | -那就是真的 -有这个可能 |
| [18:28] | that he may or may not | 他有可能 |
| [18:30] | show up tonight at this party. | 在这个派对现身 |
| [18:34] | – Shit. – Can’t confirm or deny. | -惨了 -进退两难 |
| [18:36] | -Oh my god. – I have so many questions about australia. | -天 -我有好多关于澳大利亚的问题 |
| [18:39] | Hate to be the buzzkill. He’s not gonna come. | 抱歉泼你们冷水 他应该不会来 |
| [18:41] | – Why? – Why, tim? | -为啥 -小炯 为什么 |
| [18:42] | – I sent him an invitation. – I might have thrown it away. | -我给他发了邀请函 -我把它扔了 |
| [18:45] | – What? – What? | -什么 -什么 |
| [18:47] | I threw it in the garbage disposal and poured tomato sauce on it. | 我把它扔进垃圾堆然后往上浇番茄酱 |
| [18:51] | Do you have, like, a serious mental problem? | 你有精神病吗 |
| [18:54] | – Not really. – Why would you do that? | -没有 -你干嘛这么做 |
| [18:56] | Why would you do that to Van Helsing, bro?! | 你怎么能这么对范海辛[休饰演的电影角色] |
| [18:59] | You know what? He’s the sexiest man alive. | 他可是世上最性感的男人 |
| [19:00] | I think he’ll get over it. | 他会没事的 |
| [19:02] | Fuck this, man. I’m outta here. | 靠 我要走了 |
| [19:03] | Let’s fuckin’ walk, people. | 我们走吧 |
| [19:05] | – Let’s get outta here. – Yeah, we’re out. | -我们回去吧 -对 我们走 |
| [19:07] | You’re gonna leave the party because hugh jackman’s not coming? | 你们因为休·杰克曼不来就要离开派对 |
| [19:10] | This party is a full-tilt suck party now. | 这个派对现在烂透了 |
| [19:14] | Buzzkill. | 真扫兴 |
| [19:16] | I am glad at least one of my neighbors | 我很高兴至少有一位邻居 |
| [19:19] | Isn’t taken in by Hugh moron Jackman. | 没有被休·傻子·杰克曼迷倒 |
| [19:23] | You– you were on the invite list? | 你被邀请了 |
| [19:25] | Hi, I’m your neighbor Eddie. | 我是你的邻居艾迪 |
| [19:26] | Hey, I’m Tim. This is Amy. | 我是小炯 这是小美 |
| [19:28] | – Hey, you guys. – Oh wait. | -你们好 -等等 |
| [19:30] | Are you Eddie the mattress guy? | 你是卖床垫的那家伙吗 |
| [19:32] | Bingo! That’s right, I’m big eddie’s mattresses. | 正是 我就是买床垫的大个子艾迪 |
| [19:34] | – Thanks for coming. – By the way, | -谢谢捧场 -话说 |
| [19:36] | I’ve run into this moron Jackman! | 我有一次碰上那个白痴杰克曼 |
| [19:38] | – You don’t have to – what an idiot! | -你别 -真是个傻蛋 |
| [19:39] | You’re talking a little loud, by the way. | 你嗓门有点响 |
| [19:41] | It’s part of my persona with selling the mattresses | 这是我叫卖床垫留下的习惯 |
| [19:44] | and I’ll be darned if I can’t get out of it. | 根深蒂固 |
| [19:47] | – So I’m gonna go. – Why, because someone’s telling the truth | -我得走了 -就因为有人揭露了 |
| [19:50] | about Hugh moron Jackson? Here’s a boomerang. | 傻子杰克曼的真实品质吗 来玩回旋镖[澳大利亚游戏] |
| [19:54] | Enjoy your little bitch session. I’m off. | 你自求多福吧 我走了 |
| [19:56] | – Goodbye. – Are you | -再见 -你别 |
| [19:57] | telling me you really feel this way?! Come on. | 告诉我你真这样想 拜托 |
| [19:59] | People tell me I get overexcited about Jackman. | 有人说我一谈到杰克曼就过分激动 |
| [20:03] | This has never happened to me. | 这种情况以前从来没有过 |
| [20:05] | Party got more and more awkward towards the end. | 越到最后 聚会越尴尬 |
| [20:10] | – There’s my son. – Your what? | -我儿子在啊 -你的谁 |
| [20:12] | My son. I think of you like my oldest son. | 我儿子啊 我把你当我大儿子一样 |
| [20:15] | Why are you saying positive things to me? | 你干嘛要夸我 |
| [20:16] | I just feel like– I feel close to you | 我只是觉得 我觉得跟你很亲近 |
| [20:19] | and I think we should spend more time together. | 我觉得我们应该多花点时间好好相处 |
| [20:21] | Um, we could start with just hanging out, | 要不就从一起走走开始好了 |
| [20:23] | just haning out in your building. | 就去你住的楼里逛逛好了 |
| [20:24] | Rodney told you. | 是大鲁跟你说的 |
| [20:25] | – That son of a bitch. – What are you talking about? | -这狗娘养的 -你瞎说啥呢 |
| [20:27] | It’s a secret. You can’t tell anybody. | 这是个秘密 你不能跟任何人讲 |
| [20:29] | I’m not gonna tell. | 我不会说的 |
| [20:30] | – You don’t tell anybody. – I’m not gonna tell. | -别跟任何人讲 -我不会跟任何人说 |
| [20:31] | Listen, Tim. | 听着 小炯 |
| [20:32] | I will sue you. | 我会告你的 |
| [20:32] | – I will sue you. – I promise you. | -我真会告你的 -我答应你 |
| [20:34] | – I’ll take you to court. – You have my word. | -我会去法院告你 -我向你保证 |
| [20:36] | I have to meet him. | 我一定要见见他 |
| [20:38] | He’s my favorite, okay? | 他是我最喜欢的偶像 |
| [20:40] | I mean, this guy, he can sing and dance | 他能唱能跳 |
| [20:42] | and mc and host. | 还会主持 |
| [20:44] | He appeals to men. He appeals to women. | 男女通杀 |
| [20:46] | He’s funny. He’s dramatic. He’s masculine. He’s tough. | 他幽默风趣 充满霸气 男人味十足 |
| [20:49] | He’s kind. He’s sweet. He’s sensitive. | 他和蔼可亲 善解人意 又讨人喜欢 |
| [20:51] | He has ridiculous pectoral muscles and a tiny waist. | 他胸器逼人 还有细腰翘臀 |
| [20:55] | And I wanna know when we’re hanging out. | 啥时候我们可以一起走走 |
| [20:58] | This is definitely in the top-five | 在我跟你进行的所有诡异的对话里面 |
| [20:59] | weird conversations I’ve had with you. | 这次绝对排得上前五 |
| [21:04] | Hey Tim, Tim. | 喂 小炯 小炯 |
| [21:05] | Don’t disturb me. I’m counting the envelopes. | 别吵 我在数信封 |
| [21:08] | Forget the mundane things. | 把这种俗事抛开 |
| [21:09] | You’ll never believe what I just saw. | 你绝对想不到我刚才看到了什么 |
| [21:12] | – Yeah? – Young lady carrying groceries, | -什么 -有个小姑娘拎着一堆吃的 |
| [21:15] | – No way. – not even struggling, | -不是吧 -东西也不难拿 |
| [21:16] | and she’s trying to… open the door up to the building. | 她就想…开门上楼 |
| [21:19] | – Yeah? – Guess who comes up behind her, | -然后 -猜猜谁从她后面冒出来 |
| [21:22] | and opens the door for her, | 帮她开门 |
| [21:24] | and says, “Here, darling, let me help”? | 还说”嘿 亲爱的 要我帮忙吗” |
| [21:28] | – You? – Not me. Hugh Jackman. | -是你 -不是我 是休·杰克曼 |
| [21:31] | Unless that was a play on words, | 除非还有潜台词 |
| [21:32] | then it was brilliant and hats off to you. | 不然我真要对你刮目相看了 |
| [21:34] | “Here, darling. Let me help”? | “嘿 亲爱的 要我帮忙吗” |
| [21:36] | What is that? | 那算什么 |
| [21:37] | What is he? The most polite guy in the world? | 他算什么东西 世界头号文雅男 |
| [21:40] | Oh, nobody– nobody talks like that. | 绝对 绝对没人会那样子说话的 |
| [21:42] | Unbeliev– | 难以置信– |
| [21:43] | “Here, darling, let me help.” | “嘿 亲爱的 要我帮忙吗” |
| [21:45] | Who is he? Fred Astaire? | 他谁啊 弗雷德·阿斯坦 |
| [21:46] | This guy’s gotta be stopped. Should we say something? | 这种男人必须灭了他 我们该说些啥吗 |
| [21:48] | Ah, u know, I don’t know what to say. | 我不知道该说些啥 |
| [21:50] | I throw him horrific glances. | 我就狠狠白了他一眼 |
| [21:52] | And I tell you, the day that guy moves out, | 我跟你讲 等哪天他搬走的时候 |
| [21:55] | I am gonna be singin’, dancin’, whistlin’ and hummin’. | 我绝对载歌载舞 吹个口哨哼个小曲儿 |
| [21:58] | – You know what? – What? | -你知道吗 -知道什么 |
| [22:00] | – Look me in the eye. – Yes? | -看着我的眼睛 -干嘛 |
| [22:02] | This already feels tense. | 我已经开始紧张了 |
| [22:04] | One week from now, let’s reconvene in this very spot. | 我们就这儿打赌 一周之内 |
| [22:08] | If Hugh Jackman’s still living here, I’d be shocked. | 要是休·杰克曼还住这里 我就改姓囧 |
| [22:10] | Wow. This is intense. | 哇塞 鸭梨山大 |
| [22:13] | You’ve never seen Tim in action. This is what it looks like. | 奋起的小炯就是这么给力 让你见识下 |
| [22:15] | This is– this is beautiful. | 很–很给力 |
| [22:17] | You’re kinda like a wizard, a mundane wizard. | 你算得上是个天才 凡间奇才 |
| [22:23] | Look who’s back. | 看看谁回来了 |
| [22:24] | Hey, look who it is. | 嘿 瞧瞧谁来了 |
| [22:25] | – Hey. – It’s our old friend hot pockets. | -你们好 -我们的老朋友馅饼先生 |
| [22:28] | Hot pockets. H.P., what’s happening? | 快热熟食 快食 出什么事了 |
| [22:30] | How’d you guys like to make some money? | 你们想赚点小钱吗 |
| [22:31] | Uh, make? No. | 赚 不想 |
| [22:34] | It’s doing what you do every day, doing what you love. | 是你们每天在做的事 你们喜欢做的事 |
| [22:37] | – Shitting in foyers? – Pretty much. | -在门口拉屎 -差不多吧 |
| [22:39] | – Not far from it. – Hey. | -八九不离十了 -嘿 |
| [22:41] | I want you to harass someone at my new building. | 我想让你们到我新搬的楼里骚扰一个人 |
| [22:43] | – He’s a celebrity. – Who is it? | -他是个名人 -是谁 |
| [22:45] | I can’t tell you who it is ’cause I signed a document. | 我不能说 我签了保密协议 |
| [22:47] | He made you sign a document? This guy sounds like an asshole. | 他让你签的保密协议 看来是个烂人 |
| [22:50] | – He took my thumbprint. – What? | -他让我按了手印 -什么 |
| [22:52] | You don’t have any more thumbprints? | 你没手印了吗 |
| [22:53] | Listen, if you hang out in front of the building, | 听着 只要你们在大楼门口晃两圈 |
| [22:55] | you’ll recognize him, I’m pretty sure. | 就会认出他的 绝对错不了 |
| [22:57] | Harass him. Make him move. Make his life miserable. | 骚扰他 让他搬家 要他苦不堪言 |
| [23:00] | – We’ll make that guy move. – I love it. | -我们会赶他走的 -爱死你们了 |
| [23:02] | We’ll make him move faster than we made you move. | 绝对比赶你走的时候更有效率 |
| [23:04] | I’m a little embarrassed by that, to be honest. | 老实说 你这话让我有点囧了 |
| [23:06] | What are your guys’ names, by the way? | 对了 你们都叫啥 |
| [23:07] | I don’t remember. | 我忘了 |
| [23:09] | I go by “the shadow.” | 就叫我”影子”好了 |
| [23:13] | You can always tell if it’s a celebrity by their shoes. | 看鞋识名人 一般准没错 |
| [23:15] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [23:16] | If they’re wearing shoes, they’re probably a celebrity. | 如果他们穿了鞋 多半就是个名人 |
| [23:18] | That’s true. John Goodman has shoes. | 说得对 约翰·古德曼就穿了鞋 |
| [23:20] | Excuse me. Taxpayer who isn’t covered in filth coming through. | 不好意思 白净净的纳税人要求通过 |
| [23:23] | Come on, let me– let me in. | 快点 让我 让我进去 |
| [23:25] | That’s– that’s Big Eddie. | 这是 这是大艾迪 |
| [23:26] | Big Eddie. | 大艾迪 |
| [23:27] | Oh, you seen my commercials. | 你们看过我拍的广告啊 |
| [23:28] | Congratulations on being sober for two seconds. | 恭喜你们脑子还拎得清 |
| [23:31] | Every homeless person in this city knows who the mattress guy is. | 这个城市里的每一个流浪汉都认识床垫男 |
| [23:35] | Thank you very much. Coming from you guys, that’s great. | 非常感谢 听你们这么说 与有荣焉 |
| [23:37] | But since you don’t have the money to buy one, | 不过鉴于你们没钱买床垫 |
| [23:39] | why don’t you shut up | 还是闭上臭嘴 |
| [23:40] | and get out of my way. Here’s a harmonica. | 给我让开比较好 送你们个口琴 |
| [23:41] | Well, I used to have a mattress until you took it | 我以前有过一个床垫 后来被你拿走了 |
| [23:45] | and then you restored it and sold it. | 然后修修补补又卖掉了 |
| [23:48] | Yeah, that’s what you do. | 你就是这么干的 |
| [23:48] | You’re stealing from the homeless. | 你连流浪汉的东西都要偷 |
| [23:50] | – You owe me a futon. – Come on. | -你还我蒲团 -得了吧 |
| [23:52] | I spent big money getting your hobo stench | 弄掉床垫上你们留下的臭味 |
| [23:55] | off of those mattresses. You people must– | 可花了我不少钱 你们这帮要饭的一定… |
| [23:57] | – You must design smells. – “You people”? | -一定是故意的 -“这帮要饭的”你说谁呢 |
| [24:00] | You’re scum! Hey, let’s kick his ass! | 你个混蛋 老子弄死你 |
| [24:02] | Son of a bitch, stealing from homeless people. | 还偷到乞丐身上了 你这个畜生 |
| [24:04] | Go play dominoes for 12 years in a park! | 去公园要一辈子饭去吧 |
| [24:10] | Hey, you got Tim on the line here. | 这是小炯家 你是 |
| [24:11] | – Hot pockets? – H.P.! | -快热熟食吗 -快食 |
| [24:13] | – Heya, hot pockets. – Let us in. | -快热熟食 -让我们进去 |
| [24:15] | We got your neighbor on the run. | 你那个邻居进楼了 |
| [24:16] | We got him. We got him running scared. | 我们逮住他了 他吓得正逃呢 |
| [24:17] | I love it. I’m buzzing you in. | 太好了 我就开门 |
| [24:21] | What have I done? | 我一定是脑子进水了 |
| [24:22] | Open up, Eddie. Eddie. | 艾迪 开门 艾迪 |
| [24:24] | Come on, open up. | 快开开门 |
| [24:26] | We got nowhere else to be, man. | 我们无处可去无家可归啊 |
| [24:28] | – We’re homeless. – Hey. Guys. | -我们是乞丐嘛 -伙计们 |
| [24:31] | – Whoa. – It’s Hugh– | -天啊 -那是休 |
| [24:32] | – Hugh Jackman. – Hugh Jackman. | -休·杰克曼 -休·杰克曼 |
| [24:34] | Impressive body of work, sir. | 我可喜欢你演的片了 |
| [24:35] | Thank you. It is an honor to meet hugh jackman fans. | 多谢 我也很高兴见到你们 |
| [24:38] | Guys, what’s going on here, more importantly? | 伙计们 出了什么要紧事吗 |
| [24:41] | This sucking bastard in here, he’s a mattress thief. | 有个该死的混球住这 一个偷床垫的 |
| [24:44] | – Yeah. – And we got a score to settle. | -是的 -我们有笔帐和他算 |
| [24:45] | Guys, listen to me. If you do this, you’re gonna get arrested. | 听我一言 伙计们 你们这么做会吃牢饭的 |
| [24:49] | Now I was just on my way out to grab some pancakes for dinner. | 我这会呢 正好弄了点烤饼要晚上吃 |
| [24:53] | That’s what we’re gonna do right now. | 这才是当务之急 |
| [24:54] | We’re not gonna get arrested. | 也不会吃什么牢饭 |
| [24:56] | We’re gonna go eat pancakes on Hugh Jackman’s dime. | 来休·杰克曼的蜗居吃烤饼吧 |
| [24:59] | – Pancakes for dinner. – That’s really nice of you. | -晚餐吃烤饼啊 -你人超好的说 |
| [25:02] | You’re a hell of a guy, Jackman. | 杰克曼 你绝对是好人中的好人 |
| [25:03] | I appreciate that. | 多谢盛赞 |
| [25:07] | – Hey pal. – No. | -嘿老兄 -别来了 |
| [25:09] | – Please no. – Eddie, it’s me. | -求你别来了 -艾迪 是我 |
| [25:12] | – Ahh. – It’s your buddy Tim. | -谁 -你兄弟小炯 |
| [25:13] | Oh hey, Tim. | 是你啊 小炯 |
| [25:14] | Boy, is it good to see a friend in these circumstances. | 此时此地见到你真好 |
| [25:17] | – I got great news. – Lay it on me, my friend. | -有好消息 -说来听听 |
| [25:20] | I think I took care of our unwanted neighbor. | 我关照了下不得咱俩心的邻居 |
| [25:22] | You did? Oh no way. | 你做了 不是吧 |
| [25:24] | – My little army of homeless people– – Hold it. | -我的乞丐朋友们… -等等 |
| [25:26] | You were responsible for those filthy hobos? | 那帮要饭的脏鬼是你弄来的 |
| [25:29] | With all due respect, nobody calls them hobos anymore. | 恕我直言 现在没人管他们叫要饭的 |
| [25:31] | How about shit-covered zombies? | 那屎堆里的臭虫如何 |
| [25:33] | Hobos is fine. Hobos is fine. | 还是叫要饭的吧 |
| [25:35] | It figures trash like you would know people like that. | 你和那帮垃圾挺心意相通啊 |
| [25:38] | – You’re mad? – What do you mean, am I mad? | -你疯了吗 -你竟然说我是疯子 |
| [25:39] | – It’s good news, it’s good news. – No, it’s not good news. | -那不错啊 -不错你个头 |
| [25:42] | I live in this building because I want privacy | 我住这无非是想有点隐私 |
| [25:45] | and I want to be associated with classy motherfuckers! | 想和些高雅的混蛋们混迹一处 |
| [25:49] | – I’m a classy motherfucker. – No you’re not! | -我就是个高雅的混蛋啊 -你他妈才不是 |
| [25:51] | Go sort through your mail, asshole. | 整理你的邮件去吧 蠢货 |
| [25:54] | Hmm. Short-lived friendship. | 基情还真是昙花一现 |
| [25:58] | I just wanna say how happy we are in this building | 我们在这住得很高兴 |
| [26:00] | – and just– – Home sweet home. | -简直是… -如归故里 |
| [26:03] | I’m sorry, but Amy and Tim, we are going to have to evict you. | 但小美小炯 很抱歉 你们将被驱逐出社区 |
| [26:07] | – Wait, what? – What? | -什么 你说什么 -什么意思 |
| [26:08] | – No. – Why? | -不要 -为什么 |
| [26:10] | Because you broke the confidentiality agreement. | 因为你们破坏了保密协议 |
| [26:12] | No, we didn’t tell anyone that Hugh Jackman lives here. | 不可能 我们没跟任何人说休·杰克曼住这 |
| [26:15] | – He doesn’t. – He doesn’t? | -他没住这 -他没有吗 |
| [26:16] | He is just subletting for a few months while filming a movie. | 他只不过是因为拍电影在这租住几个月 |
| [26:19] | Big Eddie is the celebrity. | 名人是大艾迪 |
| [26:21] | – The mattress guy? – Uh, the mattress king. | -那个卖床垫的 -是床垫皇帝 |
| [26:24] | He’s the #1 bedding retailer in the tri-state area. | 他是三州地区床上用品零售商的龙头老大 |
| [26:29] | Okay, but regardless, what does that have to do with us? | 好吧 就算如此 关我们什么事 |
| [26:32] | You know what? Let’s not dwell on it. | 小美 我看咱还是走吧 别纠结了 |
| [26:33] | Let’s have a fun eviction. | 好聚好散嘛 |
| [26:35] | We had a great weekend here. | 我们周末在这过得不错 |
| [26:37] | Good living with you. | 和你们相处的也很愉快 |
| [26:40] | – Home sweet home. – Just shut up. | -如归故里哟 -闭嘴吧你 |
| [26:43] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [26:46] | You’re letting in the heat. – Oh boy. | -你们真是在水深火热里 -天哪 |
| [26:48] | -Hey! – Look at this guy, eh? | -喂 -看看这家伙 |
| [26:50] | – Come on in. – No no no. | -快进来呀 -不是吧 |
| [26:52] | What are you doing here? | 你们在这做什么 |
| [26:54] | A little bit of this, little bit of that. | 东打打西闹闹呗 |
| [26:56] | We figured since we did Tim that favor, | 我们想着既然帮了你个忙 |
| [26:58] | you guys wouldn’t mind if we crashed here for a few days. | 怎么着你也不会介意让我们住一阵子 |
| [27:00] | Favor? These guys did a favor for you? | 帮什么忙 这些家伙帮你什么了 |
| [27:03] | They weren’t supposed to talk about it. | 他们应该守口如瓶的 |
| [27:05] | Guys, I’m a little disappou’re letting in the heatointed in you. | 伙计们 我对你们有点失望 |
| [27:07] | Especially you, the Shadow. | 尤其是你 老影 |
| [27:08] | It’s our first fight. | 处女秀嘛没办法 |
| [27:11] | These shabby shoes I’m wearin’ all the time | 麻衣破鞋伴着我 |
| [27:15] | is full of holes and nails. | 走过风雨许多年 |
| [27:19] | And, brother, if I stepped on a worn out dime, | 倘若踩到五角币 |
| [27:23] | I bet a nickel I could tell you if it was heads or tails. | 五分赌它正或反 |
| [27:28] | I’m not gonna worry wrinkles in my brow, | 满脸褶子不用愁 |
| [27:32] | ’cause nothing’s ever gonna be alright nohow. | 天掉馅饼是空想 |
| [27:36] | No matter how I struggle and strive, | 发愤努力白劳碌 |
| [27:40] | I’ll never get out of this world alive. | 老天从来不赏光 |