| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | *Now you’re looking at a man that’s getting kinda mad.* | *小炯最近很抓狂* |
| [00:10] | *I had lots of luck but it’s all been bad* | *天天霉运一箩筐* |
| [00:14] | *No matter how I struggle and strive,* | *发奋努力白劳碌* |
| [00:18] | *I’ll never get out of this world alive* | *老天从来不赏光* |
| [00:22] | *My fishing pole’s broke, the creek is full of sand,* | *鞋儿破来帽儿破* |
| [00:26] | *My woman run away with another man.* | *女朋友都不要我* |
| [00:30] | *No matter how I struggle and strive,* | *发愤努力白劳碌* |
| [00:34] | *I’ll never get out of this world alive* | *老天从来不赏光* |
| [00:44] | – Guys. – What?! | -伙计们 -啥 |
| [00:45] | – Come on. – What do you mean, come on? | -算了吧 -什么 什么算了 |
| [00:46] | You said pick any restaurant | 你说让我们随便挑饭馆 |
| [00:48] | and you would treat us on your corporate card. | 你用公司信用卡请客 |
| [00:50] | It’s not a restaurant. It’s called Bonerz with a “Z.” | 这不是饭馆 这分明是巨茎勃起 |
| [00:53] | – Yeah. – They serve food, so it’s a restaurant. | -对 -他们有卖吃的 所以就是个饭馆 |
| [00:55] | All right. Is this gonna show up on my corporate card as– | 好吧 到时候我的账单就会显示在 |
| [00:58] | – as Bonerz? – Yes. | -在”勃起”消费 -对 |
| [00:59] | – Yes? – Yes– all caps. | -还对 -对 还是全部大写 |
| [01:02] | By the way, isn’t this a weird name for a strip club? | 我说这名用在脱衣舞厅不怪吗 |
| [01:04] | What’s your problem with “Bonerz”? | 你有意见啊 |
| [01:05] | Doesn’t it make it sound kind of gay? | 这样听起来不是像搞基么 |
| [01:08] | – What? Fuck! Holy– – No one’s ever suggested that? | -啥 操 你妹 -没人这么说过吗 |
| [01:11] | Wow, fuck you! I’m not– we’re not gay. | 去你的吧 我不 我们不搞基 |
| [01:13] | It’s clear as day. You walk into a strip club and you see butt, | 非常明显 进脱衣舞厅 看丰臀美乳 |
| [01:16] | you see breast, you see pretty girls, and you get what? | 美女如云 你就会怎样 |
| [01:20] | – Boners. – Hey. – You get boners. | -勃起 -答对 -你就勃起了 |
| [01:22] | That’s the end result. Come on in. | 结果就是那样 进来吧 |
| [01:23] | You could have called it Boobz with a “Z.” | 你们可以起名叫玉女胸经 |
| [01:26] | That’s just childish. | 那样太幼稚了 |
| [01:30] | This is actually very good. I’m not gonna lie. | 真不错哎 说实话 |
| [01:32] | Uh, this is the best lunch ever, Timmy. | 小炯 这是我最美的午餐了 |
| [01:33] | Hey, guys, you want a dance? | 嘿 帅哥们 想看跳舞吗 |
| [01:35] | Yes, I do. How– well, how much for dances? | 我想 看跳舞多少钱 |
| [01:37] | Okay, it’s $40 a dance | 一支舞40块 |
| [01:39] | or $100 for the champagne room. | 包厢服务100块 |
| [01:41] | Ooh, champagne room all around. | 那必须是包厢嘛 |
| [01:43] | – Put it on Timmy’s card. – No-no, no-no. | -小炯来刷卡 -别别别 |
| [01:45] | We’re here for lunch. We’re here for the restaurant aspect. | 我们是来吃午饭的 别搞别的 |
| [01:47] | – Oh. Come on. – Oh. I’m sad. | -别这样啦 -我伤心了 |
| [01:50] | – You like Pauly Shore? – Yeah. | -喜欢波利·肖尔吗 -喜欢 |
| [01:52] | Hey, buddy. | 嘿哥们[学他说话] |
| [01:54] | – She thinks you’re really funny. – You think I’m funny? | -她觉得你特幽默 -你这样觉得吗 |
| [01:57] | See? She wants to have fun. | 看到没 她想开心一把 |
| [01:59] | – She thinks I’m funny. – She does think you’re funny. | -她夸我幽默 -真的是 |
| [02:01] | Timmy, come on. Let’s get in there, man. | 小炯 别扫兴 我们进去吧 |
| [02:03] | I can’t put a lap dance on my card. | 我可不能把大腿舞划在我的账单上 |
| [02:05] | You know, Tim, you’ve really changed. You’re not fun anymore. | 小炯 你真的变了 你变无趣了 |
| [02:07] | Yeah, I’m gonna agree with this guy. | 表示同意 |
| [02:09] | – You are not fun anymore. – They check the statements. | -你无趣了 -他们可是要查账单的 |
| [02:11] | – Timmy, it’s the champagne room. – Yeah? | -小炯 我们是要进包厢 -所以呢 |
| [02:13] | In that room they serve beverages. | 提供酒水服务的地方嘛 |
| [02:15] | Beverages are technically part of lunch. | 酒水也算是午餐的一部分 |
| [02:17] | – This is totally acceptable. – That’s actually a good point. | -没啥不能接受的 -有点道理 |
| [02:20] | – Yeah. – All right, let’s do this. | -对啊 -好吧 我们上吧 |
| [02:22] | That’s right. | 太好了 |
| [02:29] | How’s my boy? | 小弟弟开心不 |
| [02:30] | Yeah, he’s doing real good. | 开心的不得了 |
| [02:34] | – Thank you for asking. – I’m Amber, by the way. | -谢谢你关心 -我叫安布尔 |
| [02:37] | Oh, hey, I’m Stu. | 你好你好 我叫司徒 |
| [02:39] | Or you can call me Stuballs or Stuart | 你也可以叫我咸蛋司徒 斯图尔特 |
| [02:41] | or Baby Doc Duvall. It doesn’t– | 或者杜小子 哪个 |
| [02:44] | doesn’t really matter. | 哪个都行 |
| [02:45] | You are so funny. Oh my God, you’re my favorite. | 你真幽默 天哪 你是我的最爱了 |
| [02:49] | You’re my favorite person ever– | 你是我至今最喜欢的人 |
| [02:50] | “Ambron”– “Amver” I’ve ever met. | 是安别尔还是安维尔来着 |
| [02:53] | We have the same senses of humor. | 我们俩很投缘嘛 |
| [02:55] | Timmy, we are coming here every day! | 小炯 以后我们每天都要来 |
| [03:01] | – Hey guys, what happened? – Lights in here, lights. | -大伙们 发生什么了 -灯亮了 |
| [03:05] | – Who are you? – What happened? | -你谁啊 -发生什么了 |
| [03:07] | Oh, Jesus fucking Christ! | 我操他娘的 |
| [03:09] | – This light is not flattering for me. – To say the least. | -这灯光不偏爱我 -您可真含蓄 |
| [03:13] | – Fuck you! – Fuck you. | -操你妈 -操你妈 |
| [03:15] | – Fuck you. – Fuck you. | -操你妈 -操你妈 |
| [03:16] | You big pile of dogshit. | 你这团大狗屎 |
| [03:19] | Buzzkill, to say the least. | 真够扫兴的 |
| [03:21] | You have a lot of scars. | 你身上不少疤呢 |
| [03:22] | I’ve been to a lot of fucking places, dude– | 我去过很多要命的地方 老兄 |
| [03:24] | Knife fight. | 刀伤 |
| [03:26] | Baby. | 剖腹产 |
| [03:27] | Italy, melanoma, | 在意大利伤的 割黑素瘤的疤 |
| [03:29] | prison knife fight in Italy. | 意大利监狱刀战纪念 |
| [03:32] | Is someone gonna do something with the music and the lights? | 谁来处理下音响和灯光好吗 |
| [03:34] | We’re having a business luncheon here. | 我们在吃工作午餐呢 |
| [03:36] | – Oh my God. – He’s got a gun, he’s got a gun. | -我的神 -他有枪 他有枪 |
| [03:38] | Okay, assholes. | 好吧 贱人们 |
| [03:40] | Someone needs to tell me where Jenny is right now. | 谁来告诉我珍妮在哪 |
| [03:43] | There was a Jenny that used to work here. | 以前是有个叫珍妮的在这工作 |
| [03:45] | – She doesn’t work here anymore. – Oh, that’s Jenny | -她现在不干了 -那个珍妮 |
| [03:47] | – who opened up the yarn store in Chicago. – What?! | -她去芝加哥开棉纱店了 -啥 |
| [03:49] | – And she had lupus. – You’re all lying to me! | -她还得了狼疮 -你们说谎 |
| [03:52] | Everyone in the main room. | 所有人都去主厅 |
| [03:53] | Until someone finds my Jenny for me, you’re all hostages. | 在有人帮我找到珍妮前 你们都是人质 |
| [03:58] | This lunch is really getting away from us. | 这顿午餐越来越没谱了 |
| [04:01] | What’s this about? Why are we tied up to poles? | 这是干嘛 为什么把我们绑在钢管上 |
| [04:04] | I wanna see my girlfriend, that’s all. | 我就是想见我女朋友而已 |
| [04:06] | – It’s very simple. – Your girlfriend works here? | -很简单 -你女朋友在这工作 |
| [04:08] | Yes. Jenny. | 是的 她叫珍妮 |
| [04:09] | We told you– Jenny has left town. | 我们跟你说了 珍妮离开这了 |
| [04:11] | She’s in Chicago. She opened a yarn store | 她在芝加哥呢 她开了家棉纱店 |
| [04:13] | and she’s got lupus. | 她还得了狼疮 |
| [04:15] | She would’ve told me if she moved. | 如果她搬走了 她会告诉我的 |
| [04:17] | Are you sure she was your girlfriend? | 你确定她是你女朋友 |
| [04:19] | Uh, yeah, I’m sure. | 是的 我确定 |
| [04:21] | Why? What did she– | 有何凭据 她可曾… |
| [04:22] | Oh, she only danced for me every single time I came in here | 每次我来这 她都只为我跳舞 |
| [04:25] | and uh, let’s see, what else? | 我想想 还有别的吗 |
| [04:27] | Oh, yeah, I know. She said I was her favorite. | 对 我想起来了 她说她最喜欢我 |
| [04:31] | What are you, 11? | 你才十一岁咋的 |
| [04:32] | You shut up, okay? Shut up! | 闭嘴好吗 闭嘴 |
| [04:34] | We’re staying here until the police track Jenny down | 我们一直呆在这 直到警察找到珍妮 |
| [04:37] | and bring her to me. | 带她来见我 |
| [04:39] | – Wait, what– what’s this? – A note? | -等等 这是啥 -便条 |
| [04:41] | Hey, nasty old stripper, go read that. | 肮脏老舞娘 你去读读看 |
| [04:43] | Excuse me, let’s at least behave like gentlemen here. | 抱歉 请你言行绅士一点 |
| [04:46] | – It is a gentlemen’s club. – Yeah. | -这是绅士汇聚之所 -没错 |
| [04:48] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [04:49] | It says, “Hey, dude, it’s the police.” | 上面写着 嗨 老兄 警察在此 |
| [04:54] | “Come out and chat if you want.” | 你愿意的话 就出来聊聊 |
| [04:57] | “Hey, dude”? What kind of way is that to talk to me? | “嗨 老兄” 咋能这样跟我说话 |
| [04:59] | For a guy with a palm tree on his shirt, | 没想到虽然你小褂上画着棕榈树 |
| [05:01] | you’re surprisingly concerned with self-respect. | 人还挺有自尊心的 |
| [05:04] | You, smart mouth, you’re coming with me. | 你 油嘴滑舌的 你跟我一起去 |
| [05:07] | I knew my sarcastic quips | 就知道我这讽刺妙语 |
| [05:08] | would be the undoing of me at some point. | 早晚会给我惹麻烦的 |
| [05:09] | None of these jokes are really landing. | 你开的玩笑就没有好笑的 |
| [05:11] | Okay, we’re coming out, but don’t try anything funny | 好吧 我们出来了 你们可别耍花招 |
| [05:14] | or I’m gonna shoot this motherfucker. | 不然我就毙了这混账 |
| [05:16] | Wait a second, where is everybody? | 等等 警察大部队呢 |
| [05:19] | Hey all? | 你们好 |
| [05:20] | Just you and and– and the canine unit? | 只有你和警犬吗 |
| [05:22] | It’s just me. | 只有我 |
| [05:23] | And he’s not part of the canine unit, all right? | 它不是警犬好吧 |
| [05:27] | He’s my dog Gus. And he’s a good boy. | 它是我的狗狗格斯 它可乖巧了 |
| [05:30] | Right, Gus? | 对吗 格斯 |
| [05:32] | We’ve got another situation here, Gus, that you’re not part of. | 这出了状况 但与你无关 格斯 |
| [05:35] | Good boy. Who’s a good boy? | 乖孩子 你这乖孩子 |
| [05:36] | This is a real hostage situation, okay? | 这里是真刀真枪的劫持现场好吧 |
| [05:39] | You need to take this seriously. | 你得严肃点 |
| [05:41] | We have stopped doing the whole standoff thing, all right? | 我们早就不管这种僵持不下的案件了 |
| [05:45] | Due to the budget cuts. Just cost too much. | 因为经费缩减了 这种案子太费钱 |
| [05:48] | We gotta pay for roadblocks, we gotta get helicopters… | 设路障 还有直升机 都得花钱 |
| [05:52] | and don’t even get me started on the snipers. I hate those guys. | 更别提那些狙击手 我讨厌那些家伙 |
| [05:55] | “Oh, I can shoot accurately… | 矮油 我射得可准了 |
| [05:57] | “Oh, look, I can hit a nickel | 看 我离这么远也能射中 |
| [05:59] | – from this many yards.” – Ok, enough, enough. | -一枚五分硬币 -好了 够了 |
| [06:01] | Let’s get the full department on this or people are going to die. | 把警局的人都叫来 不然人质都得死 |
| [06:05] | – Starting with this guy. – I have a name. | -就从这个家伙开始 -我是有名字的 |
| [06:07] | – What’s your name? – Stu-balls. | -你叫什么 -咸蛋司徒 |
| [06:09] | Now, those cops are just playing with my head, okay? | 这些警察是跟我耍花招呢 |
| [06:13] | The real cops are gonna show up soon | 真正的警察大部队马上就会来 |
| [06:14] | and I’m gonna make them take me seriously. | 而我会让他们严肃对待此事 |
| [06:16] | Or else everyone dies. | 否则所有人都得死 |
| [06:19] | Are you crying, Stu? | 你哭了吗 司徒 |
| [06:20] | I’m not crying. | 我没哭 |
| [06:23] | Kind of looks like you’re crying, bro. | 你看上去像是在哭 老兄 |
| [06:24] | – Are you sneezing quietly? – I’m not ready to die. | -难道你在小声打喷嚏 -我不想死 |
| [06:28] | I don’t want my last meal to be a boner dog. | 我不想死前最后一餐就吃了个巨茎 |
| [06:30] | – That’s the reason? – I’m not ready either. | -就因为这个吗 -我也没有准备 |
| [06:32] | I mean, the Islanders have | 今年纽约岛人队在季后赛上 |
| [06:33] | a serious shot at the playoffs this year. | 发生了严重的枪击事件 |
| [06:35] | – You got the baby too. – Well, the Islanders though, | -你都有孩子了 -即便如此 |
| [06:37] | – that’s the big one. – Hey, you know, guys, | -纽约岛人队才是关键 -伙计们 |
| [06:39] | if I get killed and you don’t, will you | 如果我被杀了 你们却活了下来 |
| [06:42] | make sure my little boy at least has food? | 能让我的小孩至少有口饭吃吗 |
| [06:45] | – Oh, yeah. How old is he? – He’s 32. | -当然 他多大了 -三十二 |
| [06:48] | Okay, you! You come with me. | 你 你跟我来 |
| [06:49] | – Who? Me? – You. Yeah. | -谁 我吗 -是的 就是你 |
| [06:51] | I thought Stu’s your human shield. | 我觉得司徒才是肉盾的最佳人选 |
| [06:52] | No, he’s too fat, too sweaty. | 不 他太肥了 我吃不消 |
| [06:53] | – That’s what you want. – You’re perfect. | -那才是你想要的标准肉盾 -就你了 |
| [06:55] | No, you want a big fat guy. | 不 你应该找个又肥又壮的 |
| [06:56] | Thanks for having my back, Tim. | 小炯 感谢你替我作肉盾 |
| [06:58] | Okay, coming out again. | 好 再出去一次 |
| [07:00] | And I… are you kidding me? | 我… 开什么玩笑 |
| [07:03] | Okay, let’s negotiate here. | 我们就这样来谈判条件吧 |
| [07:05] | Okay, fine. I want you to | 行 好的 我要你 |
| [07:07] | track down my girlfriend and bring her here. | 查出我女友的下落 带她来这见我 |
| [07:09] | Wish I could. | 但愿我可以 |
| [07:11] | I’m not empowered to do much except order pizzas. | 除了订匹萨外 我没权力干别的 |
| [07:15] | – Pizzas?! – You can get up to four large pies | -匹萨 -你将会得到多达四块 |
| [07:19] | with two toppings on each. | 有两种配料的大馅饼 |
| [07:20] | And it’s Wednesday, so it should be good. | 而且今天是星期三 味道应该还不错 |
| [07:23] | Okay, you’re not listening to me. | 你没在听我说话吧 |
| [07:25] | I’m going to murder people. | 我要撕票了 |
| [07:27] | Let’s be honest, okay? You got three guys hanging out | 老实说吧 你手头有三个 |
| [07:30] | at a strip club at 11:00 am. | 常在早上十一点去脱衣酒吧的人质 |
| [07:32] | I think the world can get by without them. | 我觉得地球少了他们仨不会停止旋转的 |
| [07:34] | What’s that supposed to mean? | 这是什么意思 |
| [07:36] | No, this is not how it’s supposed to work, okay? | 不 事情不该这么进展吧 是吗 |
| [07:38] | What topping do you want?! | 你要什么配料 |
| [07:40] | I don’t want a topping. I want a SWAT team, | 我不要什么配料 我要一支特警部队 |
| [07:42] | I want a news van, I want snipers, okay? | 一辆新闻报道专用车 一堆狙击手 |
| [07:45] | Hold on, Gus is taking a poop. | 等一下 格斯正在排便 |
| [07:49] | Oh, it’s solid. | 是干的 |
| [07:50] | You’re the worst negotiator. | 你是最差的谈判专家 |
| [07:52] | Okay, what were… what were you saying? | 你 刚刚说什么来着 |
| [07:54] | I want a circus atmosphere, okay? | 我想营造大事件的气氛 |
| [07:57] | Look, I cannot give you a circus atmosphere | 除非你有十八万五千块给市政府 |
| [08:00] | unless you have $185,000 to reimburse the city. | 我没法给你制造大场面 |
| [08:06] | – Oh, that is an inflated number. – Does sound a little padded. | -这数字夸大了吧 -听起来是有水分 |
| [08:08] | Now I suggest mushrooms and meatballs. | 我建议你点蘑菇肉丸馅的 |
| [08:11] | They’re a terrific combination when you’re under stress. | 你压力很大时 这是个无与伦比的组合 |
| [08:16] | Okay, guys, look, I… | 行了 伙计们 听着 |
| [08:18] | I didn’t wanna do this to you guys. | 我不想这样对你们的 |
| [08:19] | I know we’re all really good friends, | 我知道我们都是很好的朋友 |
| [08:21] | but someone here needs to die, | 但是这必须有人得死 |
| [08:23] | so I’m looking for volunteers. Anyone want to volunteer? | 所以我在找志愿者 有谁愿意献身的 |
| [08:25] | – Not it. – Me neither. | -不是我 -也不是我 |
| [08:26] | – Okay, not it… – Okay, good. – What? What? | -不是我… -很好 -什么 |
| [08:27] | – That’s not– – You’re it, you’re it. | -那不是… -就是你 |
| [08:29] | – That’s not a not-it situation. – You’re | -不是玩”不是我”的时候吧 -是你 |
| [08:29] | “not-it” 一种在两人以上公平解决麻烦事的办法 最后一个说出”not it”的人必须完成任务 | |
| [08:31] | – No, that’s how – Not a not-it situation. | -不 就这样 -不是玩这个的情景 |
| [08:33] | – It…the way that I am doing it, it is, okay? – Oh my God. | -这就是我处事风格 好吗 -天啊 |
| [08:36] | So my question to you is, are you ready to die? | 所以你要回答我 你准备好赴死了吗 |
| [08:39] | – No. – Okay. Well, that’s okay, | -没 -好的 那好 |
| [08:41] | because I’m going to give you a countdown | 因为我要从七十开始倒数 |
| [08:43] | from 70 to one and then | 当我数到一时 |
| [08:44] | I’m going to kill you. So you have time to… | 我就要杀了你 所以你有时间 |
| [08:46] | – from 70? – Yes! You have time to put things in order. | -七十 -是的 你有时间安排后事 |
| [08:49] | What’s the significance of that number? | 这个数字有什么含义吗 |
| [08:50] | I’m giving you more than the cliche time. | 我会给你足够絮叨的时间的 |
| [08:52] | You seem a little nervous. | 你看起来有点紧张 |
| [08:53] | Yeah, I am. I am… I… | 是的 我有点紧张 我… |
| [08:55] | – Take a… take a breath. – Okay. | -深…深呼吸 -好的 |
| [08:57] | Don’t kill anybody. | 别杀任何人了 |
| [08:58] | – If you want the media circus… – Yes. | -如果你想营造大事件气氛 -是的 |
| [09:00] | …and they say it’s too expensive, | 他们又说这很昂贵 |
| [09:01] | I think I got a solution here. | 我想我有解决办法了 |
| [09:03] | – How’s that grab you, huh? – Corporate card. | -这个怎么样 -公司银行卡 |
| [09:06] | Sometimes you gotta bust out the card. | 有时你得舍得用卡 |
| [09:08] | – Yeah! – Right? | -当然 -是吗 |
| [09:09] | You’re gonna do that for me?! | 你要为我这样做吗 |
| [09:10] | – I’ll do it. – I love it! | -我会的 -我喜欢这样 |
| [09:12] | – We get each other, right? – This is– yeah, | -你还有我呢 好吗 -这真是 |
| [09:13] | you’re having Stockholm Syndrome with me. | 你对我产生人质综合征了 |
| [09:15] | – Little bit. – We’re Stockholming. | -有点吧 -我们有人质情结了 |
| [09:17] | – A little bit. – Okay. | -是有点 -好了 |
| [09:18] | – Can I ask you a question? – Yeah. | -能问个问题吗 -说 |
| [09:20] | Is this still about Jenny or are you now just– | 你还是为了珍妮吗 还是 |
| [09:22] | No, I’m getting into it. | 不 我正努力着呢 |
| [09:23] | It’s taken a left turn. It’s taken a left turn. | 换个话题 换个话题 |
| [09:24] | We’re getting into this now. This is good. | 现在有了进展 这是好事 |
| [09:26] | This is what I was always meant to do– | 这是我一直以来的梦想 |
| [09:28] | be a hostage-taker. I love it! | 当一个劫持者 我爱劫持 |
| [09:31] | All right, let’s charge it! | 好了 大干一场吧 |
| [09:36] | – I thought I was gonna die before. – Yeah. | -我还以为我会死 -是啊 |
| [09:38] | My balls were starting to go up inside me. I was freaked out. | 我的蛋蛋都要缩回去了 吓死我了 |
| [09:41] | Just try to be emotional here. I uh– | 趁着我还激动 我 |
| [09:43] | it got me thinking about myself. | 我好好地反思了我自己 |
| [09:44] | You know, I have changed a little. Promotion got to me. | 我有点变了 升职让我昏了头 |
| [09:48] | Just wanted to let you | 我就想让你们知道 |
| [09:49] | guys know that you’re still my best friends | 你们仍然是我最好的哥们 |
| [09:50] | – and I love you. – Oh man, that’s nice. | -还有我爱你们 -兄弟 嘴真甜 |
| [09:54] | That’s very sweet of you. | 真是让人感动 |
| [09:55] | And if I wasn’t tied to this greasy stripper pole, | 如果我没有被绑在这油乎乎的杆子上 |
| [09:57] | – I’d hug you, buddy. – These | -我真想拥抱你 -伙计 |
| [09:58] | things are ridiculously greasy, aren’t they? | 这些杆子真是油的一塌糊涂 是吧 |
| [10:00] | You guys hear that? The choppers! | 听见了吗 直升飞机的声音 |
| [10:02] | The choppers are coming. This is it! This is it. | 直升飞机来了 太好了 |
| [10:05] | Okay, do I look good? Do I look all right? | 我看上去还好吗 我看上去怎样 |
| [10:07] | – You look amazing. – Oh, this is what I’m talking about. | -帅呆了 -这就是我要的效果 |
| [10:09] | Holy crap. | 我的天呐 |
| [10:11] | SWAT teams and choppers and news trucks | 特警队 直升飞机还有新闻转播车 |
| [10:14] | and– what the hell? Where are the snipers? | 见鬼了 狙击手在哪呢 |
| [10:17] | There are supposed to be– oh! | 应该有 啊 |
| [10:20] | Ah, look at that. | 啊 看呀 |
| [10:21] | I got shot with a sniper bullet. | 我被狙击手的子弹射中了 |
| [10:24] | Yes! That was awe– oh-hh. | 耶 真是太酷 噢 |
| [10:26] | Oh! Okay okay. All right. | 噢 好了 好了 |
| [10:29] | Just close the door if nothing else. | 没别的事的话就把门关上吧 |
| [10:31] | I got shot by snipers. | 狙击手对我开枪了 |
| [10:33] | You’re way too excited. | 你过于兴奋了 |
| [10:36] | Finally, Mitch is getting some resp– | 米奇终于得到了点尊 |
| [10:41] | I had no idea so much gross stuff | 我不知道脑袋里还有这么多 |
| [10:43] | was inside the head. | 恶心的东西 |
| [10:46] | – Okay, which one is Tim? – Oh, right here. | -好了 小炯是哪位 -在这 |
| [10:49] | Everyone’s fine. Don’t panic. | 大家都很好 别慌 |
| [10:50] | Don’t start calling me a hero or anything. | 别就开始管我叫英雄 |
| [10:52] | I don’t care about the hero thing. | 什么英雄不英雄的 |
| [10:54] | I just need you to sign this credit card receipt. | 我只要你在这信用卡收据上签个名 |
| [10:56] | And the tip’s been taken care of already | 小费就不用管了 |
| [10:58] | ’cause there has been a death. | 因为这里死了人 |
| [11:03] | Oh, Tim Tim Tim. | 小炯 小炯 小炯 |
| [11:05] | $20 at staples, $179 for entertainment | 订书针20元 娱乐费179元 |
| [11:10] | and $185,000 for the N.Y.P.D. | 纽约警局费185000元 |
| [11:15] | Gotta charge things. | 总要花钱的嘛 |
| [11:17] | – Tim. – What’s wrong? | -小炯 -怎么了 |
| [11:18] | We’re all men here. We know what went down. | 在场的都是男人 说实话吧 |
| [11:20] | – Marie’s not a man. – Thank you, Tim. | -马姐不是男人 -谢谢 小炯 |
| [11:22] | Well, look at it. It’s all taped and tucked. We know the deal. | 放眼看看 女中豪杰 大家都懂的 |
| [11:24] | – Marie wanted to fire you. – Yeah. | -小马想把你炒了 -是的 |
| [11:26] | But I’ve decided that we’re | 但我的决定是 |
| [11:27] | simply going to take it out of your pay. | 用你的薪水偿还就行了 |
| [11:29] | – I don’t make that much. – So we’re gonna go ahead | -我的薪水没那么多 -所以我们要 |
| [11:32] | and dock your full salary. | 把你的全部薪水扣去 |
| [11:33] | So you’ll work for free, uh, this year | 那么今年和明年的一段时间 |
| [11:36] | – and then part of next year. – So I don’t get paychecks anymore? | -你得无偿工作 -我没有工资了吗 |
| [11:40] | – No more money for you. – No no no no no, | -你拿不到钱了 -不不不 |
| [11:41] | you spent that money, Tim. | 是你把钱花掉的 小炯 |
| [11:42] | So I hope you enjoyed that strip club. | 希望你在那脱衣舞店玩的还愉快 |
| [11:45] | Tim. | 小炯 |
| [11:48] | I just lost all my money for two years. | 两年的钱就这么没了 |
| [11:49] | No, but seriously, now that that dude’s gone… | 是的 但是说真的 趁那伙计走了 |
| [11:51] | If it’s any consolation, I’m super impressed | 我对你的所作所为深表敬意 |
| [11:54] | – with what you’ve done here. – You’re impressed? | -这么说会让你好受点吗 -深表敬意 |
| [11:56] | For years we’ve had this secret competition | 我们这几年有个秘密的比赛 |
| [11:58] | to see who could submit the single highest receipt from Bonerz. | 看谁能在巨茎勃起单笔消费最高 |
| [12:03] | – I’m the champ? – Are you kidding? | -我是冠军吗 -你在说笑吗 |
| [12:04] | The old record was held by Hal Gleason for $9,000 | 前最高纪录是浩·格里森的九千块 |
| [12:07] | and you just blew past him | 你远远打破了记录 |
| [12:09] | by one– $176,000. | 超出整整176000 |
| [12:12] | – You seem very excited. – Hal Gleason, | -你似乎很激动 -浩·格里森 |
| [12:14] | get your sweet sweet ass in here. | 你给我滚进来 |
| [12:16] | Hey, Tim. | 嗨 小炯 |
| [12:17] | – Congrats. – Check out this plaque. | -恭喜 -看看这快牌匾 |
| [12:19] | – Oh my God. – What do you think about a photo? | -天呐 -合张影如何 |
| [12:21] | – Two champs standing beside the plaque. – No. | -两位冠军站在牌匾两旁 -不要 |
| [12:23] | – I don’t want any proof that this– I’d be honored. | -我不想留下证据 -我倒很荣幸 |
| [12:25] | Okay, on the count of three, | 数到三 |
| [12:26] | I want you to say “I love Bonerz-zz.” | 一起说 “我爱巨茎勃起起起” |
| [12:29] | A little closer. One, two, three. | 站近一点一 二 三 |
| [12:31] | I love Bonerz-zz. | 我爱巨茎勃起起起 |
| [12:34] | They’ve gotta change that name. | 他们一定得改一下店名 |
| [12:45] | All right, sitting on the floor. | 一起坐在地上 |
| [12:48] | You guys got some more pillows, I see. | 我发现你们多了几个靠垫 |
| [12:49] | – Yeah, they are new actually. – Yeah, pier 1. Right? | -是新的 -在皮尔一家具店买的吗 |
| [12:52] | – No. – This is like an opium den | -不是 -那里像是给失败者避风的 |
| [12:54] | for losers. I love it. | 鸦片窟 我很喜欢 |
| [12:56] | Sorry I’m late. Whoa-aa! Wow, that snow is insane. | 抱歉来晚了 雪大得骇人 |
| [13:00] | Hey, Jules. | 嗨 朱尔斯 |
| [13:02] | – Hey, Tim. – So you guys know each other? | -嗨 小炯 -你们认识 |
| [13:05] | Yeah, through Amy. | 通过小美认识的 |
| [13:06] | – He grabbed my ass at new year’s. – Why are you bring– | -他新年抓我的屁股 -你哪壶不开… |
| [13:09] | you grabbed my ass at new year’s. Let’s just say what happened. | 你新年抓我的屁股 我只是陈述事实 |
| [13:12] | It looks like Amy’s from a distance. | 她从远处看像小美 |
| [13:14] | – It’s all good memories. – Let’s just move on. | -美好回忆 -别提往事了 |
| [13:16] | – Yeah. – Yeah, let’s move on. | -是呀 -别提了 |
| [13:17] | All right, let’s do this. Who’s ready? | 我们来玩吧 准备好了吗 |
| [13:19] | Game night! What are we gonna play first? | 游戏之夜 我们玩什么先 |
| [13:21] | I brought trivial pursuit. | 我带了打破砂锅问到底[桌面问答游戏] |
| [13:23] | Now come on, let’s just play jenga. We always play jenga. | 还是玩抽积木吧 我们一直玩这个 |
| [13:26] | – Uh, we can’t. – What do you mean? | -恐怕不行 -什么意思 |
| [13:28] | I mean, I gave it to toys for tots last Christmas. | 我去年圣诞把它送给小孩子了 |
| [13:32] | To– toys f– tell me you didn’t just say that. | 送给…你最好是在开玩笑 |
| [13:34] | – It’s not that big of a deal. – You threw away | -不是什么大事 -你扔掉了 |
| [13:36] | the best game ever invented, | 历史上最好的游戏 |
| [13:38] | the game which I have dominated | 扔掉了我从90年代 |
| [13:40] | – since the late ’90s? – Let’s just play | -就开始玩的游戏 -我们就玩 |
| [13:42] | – the game that Julie brought. – No. | -朱尔斯带来的游戏 -不行 |
| [13:44] | It’s all set up. I have all the pies. I have a booster kit. | 都准备好了 一切零件就位 |
| [13:47] | – Whoops. Oh, my wine! I spilled the wine. – What? That was not– | -我的酒 我倒翻酒了 -什么 |
| [13:50] | – That was not a whoops. – Can I talk to you? | -你这是故意的 -我能和你谈谈吗 |
| [13:52] | – Can I talk to you? I’m talking to you. – No, Tim, I need– | -能吗 我现在就在和你谈 -小炯 |
| [13:54] | – No. No. – You’re not talking to me. | -不不 -你没好好谈 |
| [13:56] | Do not do this. | 别这样做 |
| [13:57] | you kidding me with toys for fucking tots? | 你居然把我的玩具给小孩子了 |
| [13:58] | – Again? – What are the tots doing with my game? | -又来了 -让小孩子玩我的东西干嘛 |
| [14:01] | – My friends do not like you. – Oh, please. | -我的朋友不喜欢你 -不是吧 |
| [14:04] | Do me a fa– you know they don’t like you. Just try. | 帮我个忙 你也知道 试着好好表现 |
| [14:06] | – How do you not– – Can you just try to make a good impression? | -他们怎么 -你能试着留下好印象吗 |
| [14:07] | How do you not like Tim? – | 他们怎么会不喜欢我 |
| [14:09] | Tim, they think you’re an idiot. | 小炯 他们觉得你是白痴 |
| [14:11] | All right, you know what? | 你听着 |
| [14:12] | I’ll be the bigger man. I’ll be a good host | 我要大度一点 做个好主人 |
| [14:14] | – and uh, suck it up. – Thank you. | -好好表现 -谢了 |
| [14:16] | Everyone, we’ve thought | 各位 经过讨论 |
| [14:18] | it through and the smart play is definitely | 我们作出了明智的决定 |
| [14:20] | – for Tim to zip out and buy jenga real quick. – What?! | -就是让小炯快速买积木条回来 -啥 |
| [14:23] | It’s gotta happen. It’s gonna happen. | 早就料到是这种结果 |
| [14:25] | It’s freezing out there. | 外边天寒地冻 |
| [14:26] | – Serious, it is blizzarding. – Dude, it is so cold out there. | -拜托 现在下暴雪 -外面很冷 |
| [14:28] | – This is not – Look at me, I’m a tough man. | -这不成 -看我多强壮 |
| [14:30] | We did not agree– this is not what we agreed to. | 我们不同意 之前不是这么商量的 |
| [14:31] | No, this has all been agreed upon. | 不 我们就这样定了 |
| [14:33] | I’ll be back in half hour tops. | 我半小时之内回来 |
| [14:35] | Make chitchat. Have some crackers. | 你们就聊天吃饼干吧 |
| [14:39] | This is gonna be a fun night. I think this was a good decision. | 今晚会很精彩的 我不会白跑的 |
| [14:45] | What kind of ridiculous girlfriend gives away jenga? | 我女朋友居然送走了我的积木条 |
| [14:47] | – Oh, D-Debbie?! – Tim. | -黛比 -小炯 |
| [14:50] | – What are you doing out here? – Oh, you know. | -你大冷天出来干嘛 -你懂的 |
| [14:52] | – No, I don’t. It’s freezing! – Well, I was working | -我不懂 大冷天 -我在工作 |
| [14:55] | and then a potential client offered me $10 to lick my butt. | 有个潜在客户付我10块钱要舔我屁股 |
| [15:00] | – Lick your butt? – I said, “Go ahead,” | -舔你屁眼 -我就说 “舔吧” |
| [15:02] | lick me where the good lord split me. | 老天把我当根草 人家把我当块宝 |
| [15:05] | That’s a weird story. | 这也太不可思议了 |
| [15:06] | It gets weirder. | 还有更不可思议的 |
| [15:07] | He got it all wet up in there | 他把这儿弄得湿嗒嗒的 |
| [15:10] | and I leaned up in my sexy Debbie pose | 我就摆了个性感黛比的标准姿势靠在上面 |
| [15:13] | – and my butt got stuck to the pole. – Oh, no. | -结果柱子插我屁眼里了 -噢 不 |
| [15:17] | Frozen pole-butt– | 冰冻柱子插屁眼 |
| [15:18] | ain’t nothing worse. | 还有比这更倒霉的么 |
| [15:20] | Frozen pole-butt is pretty bad. | 冰冻柱子插屁眼已经很糟糕了 |
| [15:21] | – You’re telling me? – We just gotta get you off of there. | -还用你说啊 -我们得帮你拔出来 |
| [15:24] | I know. I had to fart like two minutes ago. | 我知道 我要放屁 都憋了两分钟了 |
| [15:28] | Too much– too much information. | 太 你说得太多了 |
| [15:29] | I couldn’t do it, Tim. I couldn’t do it. | 我放不出来啊 小炯 我没办法放啊 |
| [15:32] | Let me– let me run into that store. | 我 我去趟商店 |
| [15:33] | Let me see if they got anything. | 看看他们有什么工具没 |
| [15:34] | – Oh please, Tim. – Sit tight, sit tight. | -去吧 小炯 -坐稳了 悠着点 |
| [15:37] | I can’t sit, but thank you. | 我坐得下去么 不过还是谢了 |
| [15:40] | Um, why don’t we play something while we wait? | 与其干等着不如来点好玩的 |
| [15:42] | Uh, we can play, like, truth or dare. | 可以啊 真心话大冒险吗 |
| [15:44] | Spin the bottle? | 转瓶子怎么样 |
| [15:45] | – I’m not playing that with you. No. – Yeah, no. | -我才不要跟你玩那个 不 -不要 |
| [15:47] | How ’bout we play how did you lose your virginity? | 要不我们来猜你是怎么破处的 |
| [15:50] | What? No, | 什么 不要 |
| [15:51] | – come on. – Who popped your cherry in your case. | -换一个 -我是说谁动了你的处女膜 |
| [15:52] | Yeah, I got it when you said the virginity thing. | 我知道 你一说破处我就懂了 |
| [15:54] | Is that a game or is–? | 这是游戏吗 还是 |
| [15:55] | Yeah yeah yeah. | 是的 是的 是的 |
| [15:56] | We’ll each tell our story, | 我们每个人都讲一下自己的故事 |
| [15:58] | then we’ll vote. | 然后大家投票 |
| [15:58] | Best story wins five bucks from everybody. | 讲得最好的 每个人都要给他五块钱 |
| [16:00] | Uh, mine’s real good. | 我的绝对超赞 |
| [16:02] | Okay, Stu, you start. | 好啊 司徒 你先讲 |
| [16:03] | Very well. | 那好吧 |
| [16:06] | I was in high-school biology class dissecting a frog– | 我当时在高中生物课上解剖青蛙 |
| [16:09] | That’s the way it starts, bro? | 老兄 你这就算开讲了 |
| [16:10] | Who’s telling the story, Dicklick? | 现在到底是谁在讲啊 舔茎者 |
| [16:15] | I was in high-school biology class dissecting a frog | 我当时在高中生物课上解剖青蛙 |
| [16:17] | and my teacher was incredibly hot– | 那老师是个超级辣妹 |
| [16:20] | like, Celine Dion four months pregnant hot. | 跟怀孕四个月的席琳·迪翁一样辣 |
| [16:24] | All right, that’s enough, Stuart. | 行了 我受够了 斯图亚特 |
| [16:25] | Oh, have you had enough of me? | 你已经受不了我了吗 |
| [16:27] | Yes, Stuart, I’ve had enough of you. | 是的 斯图亚特 我对你忍无可忍了 |
| [16:29] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [16:29] | ‘Cause it sounds like somebody wants to get | 听上去好像某人想要了 |
| [16:32] | stu-uu-‘d. | 饥渴难耐啊 |
| [16:34] | Just thought of that catchphrase. | 想想这句口头禅 |
| [16:36] | I’m gonna use it from now on. | 以后都这么用了 |
| [16:38] | Stu, your rebellious bad-boy attitude | 司徒 你这种坏孩子的叛逆劲儿 |
| [16:41] | might be sexy to some teachers and administrators… | 只有个别老师和管理员会觉得性感… |
| [16:43] | -Really? – …but not me. | -真假的 -…但对我没用 |
| [16:45] | I wanna see you after school in my office, alone. | 放学到我办公室来 你一个人过来 |
| [16:48] | – Okay. – And don’t wear any pants. | -没问题 -记得别穿内裤 |
| [16:50] | Because you are gonna get spanked | 我要好好教训教训你 |
| [16:52] | and spanked and spanked. | 打你屁屁 打你屁屁 |
| [16:56] | Bullshit alert. | 开始胡说八道了 |
| [16:57] | – Did not happen. – You have to tell the truth. | -根本没发生的事 -你要讲实话啊 |
| [16:59] | That story’s true– start to finish. | 这故事是真的 从头到尾都是真的 |
| [17:00] | – Not true. – If I were lying, | -明显假的 -如果我在撒谎 |
| [17:02] | how would I know that when I had sex with her | 我怎么会知道我们做爱的时候 |
| [17:04] | there were a bunch of teachers in there | 有一堆老师在围观 |
| [17:05] | and I was so good at sex | 他们发现我技巧高超 |
| [17:07] | that they gave me a faculty parking spot | 于是奖励了我一个教员的停车位 |
| [17:09] | and I was the only kid who was allowed to drink coffee? | 我还是唯一一个有喝咖啡特权的学生 |
| [17:13] | – These are close friends of Tim? – I don’t know what to say. | -这些就是小炯的死党 -我无话可说 |
| [17:18] | Hey, excuse me. Do you have any olive oil here? | 嗨 打扰了 你这儿有橄榄油吗 |
| [17:20] | Do we have olive oil? | 我们有橄榄油吗 |
| [17:23] | That’s what I asked you. | 我就是这么问你的呀 |
| [17:25] | Does fresh juniper go well with venison? | 新鲜酿制的杜松子酒配鹿肉怎么样 |
| [17:29] | I have no idea. | 我不知道 |
| [17:31] | Oh, it does. It does. | 很配啊 很配 |
| [17:33] | It goes well with venison, that’s why– | 它跟鹿肉很配啊 所以 |
| [17:34] | Oh, gourmet humor. | 美食家专属幽默 |
| [17:35] | It’s a– it’s a joke. It’s a joke I like to– | 真的就是个笑话 我讲这笑话是想 |
| [17:38] | I like to keep it light. | 我想让气氛轻松点 |
| [17:40] | I’m gonna recommend this one if you want olive oil. | 如果你想要橄榄油 我会给你推荐这个 |
| [17:42] | It’s from Puglia, all right? | 是普利亚区产的 不错吧 |
| [17:44] | It’s $10.99. | 十美元九十九美分 |
| [17:45] | – It’s– – I don’t understand half the words you’re using. | -它 -我一个字都听不懂 |
| [17:47] | It’s infused with truffles. Do you understand that? | 它里面有松露 你懂吗 |
| [17:50] | It’s divine. Do you understand that? | 超赞的 你懂吗 |
| [17:52] | Just give me the cheapest one you got. | 就给我最便宜的得了 |
| [17:53] | Oh, come on, you’re gonna love it. You’ll thank me. | 拜托 你会喜欢的 你会感激我的 |
| [17:56] | I really don’t want it. | 我真不想要这个 |
| [17:57] | Just give me the cheap one, come on. | 给我来瓶最便宜的就行了 快点 |
| [17:57] | – If you put this on arugula, – Knock it off. | -你要是滴几滴在芝麻菜上 -别烦了 |
| [17:59] | you’re in heaven. | 绝对人间美味 |
| [18:01] | Do people ever say you’re annoying? | 有没有人说过你很烦 |
| [18:02] | Uh, no, they don’t. | 没啊 没人说过 |
| [18:04] | They don’t ever say that to you? | 从来没人说过 |
| [18:05] | You know what they say to me? | 你知道他们会对我说什么吗 |
| [18:06] | They say thank you. | 他们都说 谢了老板 |
| [18:09] | My story’s gonna blow Stu’s away. | 我一出口 司徒那破事儿就滚边去了 |
| [18:11] | I don’t even need to embellish because it’s all true. | 我完全不用添油加醋 因为都是真人真事 |
| [18:14] | – Oh, this’ll be fun. – I was 12 years old | -那倒有点意思 -我十二岁那年 |
| [18:16] | and my old man said, “Put down the baseball mitt, Rod. | 老爸跟我说 “大鲁 把棒球手套放下 |
| [18:19] | – We’re going to a whorehouse.” – Okay. | -咱爷俩去嫖嫖妓” -是吗 |
| [18:21] | Rodney, we did not drive two hours to Buffalo, New York, | 大鲁 你躺在这老二还软趴趴 |
| [18:25] | for you to lay there with a limp dick! | 咱也不用开车两小时去纽约水牛城了 |
| [18:27] | – Dad, I don’t know what to do. – Just shove it in. | -爸 我不懂 -塞进去嘛 |
| [18:29] | Shove what? Where do you want me to shove it? | 塞什么 你要我往哪塞 |
| [18:31] | – Jeez, I have to do everything. Relax. – No! | -妈的 我还得做全套 你放松 -不 |
| [18:34] | No, don’t do that. Mom! Mom! | 不要 别碰那 妈 妈 |
| [18:38] | That was horrific. | 我鸡皮疙瘩都起来了 |
| [18:39] | That could not be considered a good memory. | 这有什么值得你念念不忘的 |
| [18:42] | No, I mean, my dad wasn’t around much growing up, | 你不明白 我爸在我成长路上总是缺位 |
| [18:44] | so any bonding experience whatsoever | 所以任何父子间的互动 |
| [18:46] | is a good memory for me. | 都值得我念念不忘 |
| [18:48] | All right, Debbie, I’m gonna pour it on your butt, | 好了 黛比 我要往你屁股上倒了 |
| [18:50] | – and then I need you to shimmy– – Oh, I can do that. | -你得来回摇摆 -没问题 |
| [18:52] | All right. And shimmy. | 好了 左摇右摆吧 |
| [18:55] | – Ooh. Whoo-hoo, ooh. – Shimmy. | -呜呼呼 -左摇摇 |
| [18:56] | – Oh, I think it’s working, Tim. – Shimmy. | -小炯 好像管点用 -右摆摆 |
| [18:58] | – Is it working? – Ooh, you need to– you need to patent this. | -管用吗 -管 你得申请个专利 |
| [19:00] | – All right. – “Tim’s | -可以 -小炯牌 |
| [19:01] | gourmet pole-butt remover,” You could call it. | 美味臀杆分离器 怎么样 |
| [19:04] | – I like that. – Oh, I’m free! | -不错 -分开了 |
| [19:06] | – Oh, look at that. – Tim. | -看看 -小炯 |
| [19:07] | Oh, look at that. That’s exciting. | 瞧瞧这 真过瘾 |
| [19:09] | You a godsend, an angel sent from heaven. | 你是天赐的宠儿 尘世中的天使 |
| [19:11] | – I really am. – I’m going inside. | -那当然 -我要进屋了 |
| [19:14] | What are you doing out here in this crazy weather anyway? | 对了 你大冷天出来干什么 |
| [19:17] | Oh, man, I gotta– I gotta get across town and buy jenga. | 我本…本来要过城里买积木的 |
| [19:22] | – What? – The board game by– by Hasbro. | -什么 -一种孩之宝推出的…木条游戏 |
| [19:25] | Tim, we lead very different lives, don’t we? | 小炯 咱俩一定活在两个世界 |
| [19:30] | – Hello. – Hey, Bashko. | -有人吗 -是你啊 老巴 |
| [19:32] | Sorry to stick head in door like criminal, | 原谅我像个犯人探头探脑进屋 |
| [19:34] | but please do not use water. | 千万别开水管 |
| [19:36] | – Pipes is frozen. – Dude, you should come in | -管道冻住了 -伙计 进来 |
| [19:38] | – and play this game with us. – What, jenga? | -和我们玩游戏 -什么游戏 积木吗 |
| [19:40] | No, Tim is undefeated, he tells me. | 我听小炯说 他打遍天下无敌手 还是算了 |
| [19:42] | No. We’re actually playing how did you lose your virginity? | 才不是 我们正说自己怎么破的处呢 |
| [19:45] | Let’s see. It happen in Ukraine. | 这样啊 那是在乌克兰 |
| [19:47] | Invite her on picnic. We ate cheese. | 我邀她去野餐 吃了点奶酪 |
| [19:51] | We drink wine. Then we make love for what seemed like hours. | 喝了点小酒 然后我俩就做爱来着 |
| [19:55] | That’s actually like a really beautiful story. | 听起来真挺美好的 |
| [19:57] | Did I mention she was goat? | 忘了说 她是只山羊 |
| [19:59] | When I look into our eyes, I don’t see a goat. | 当我们彼此凝视时 我的眼中看不见山羊 |
| [20:03] | I see a beautiful woman who happens to be stuck | 只看见那个碰巧身陷公羊腹中的 |
| [20:06] | in the body of a male goat. | 窈窕美眉 |
| [20:09] | I love you male goat woman. | 我爱你 公羊美眉 |
| [20:12] | Anyway, stay cool. That’s a joke. Stay warm. | 别紧张 开玩笑的 冷静 |
| [20:17] | All right, ring her up. | 给她打电话吧 |
| [20:19] | Really coming down out there, huh? | 那儿可是倾盆大雪 |
| [20:20] | – Ridiculous. – Boy, you must’ve really needed jenga. | -扯淡 -小哥儿 你一定很需要积木 |
| [20:23] | I really like the game. | 我真心喜欢它 |
| [20:25] | All right, $12.29 with tax. | 好说 含税十二块二毛九 |
| [20:27] | Oh, no, I only have $9 left. | 不是吧 我只剩九块钱了 |
| [20:30] | Oops. | 哎哟 |
| [20:32] | Did you screw up? Is it cheaper than that? | 你算错了 还有比这便宜的 |
| [20:33] | – No. No. It’s $12.29. – I’m saying– | -没有 就是十二块二毛九 -我是说 |
| [20:34] | – you’re saying oops on my behalf. – I’m saying, “Oops,” | -你刚才说了”哎哟” -我说的是”哎哟” |
| [20:36] | you made a mistake by not having the necessary money.” | 谁让你不带够钱就来买东西 |
| [20:39] | – Uh, can I ask you a question? – Sure. | -我能问你个事吗 -问吧 |
| [20:41] | – Does Kmart barter? – Barter? | -你们做凯马特实物交易吗 -实物交易 |
| [20:44] | – Like– – Like in olden times when someone would say, | -比如 -比如古代人们会说 |
| [20:46] | “Hey, I’ll give you a chicken, you give me some salt”? | “拿我的鸡换你的盐如何” |
| [20:48] | – No, we don’t do that. – How come? | -我们没那业务 -怎么会 |
| [20:50] | How come? Well, we’re just in modern times. | 怎么不会 我们这可是在现代 |
| [20:53] | That’s the only problem– that it’s today. If it weren’t today | 而非古代 这便是症结所在 |
| [20:56] | we could do it, but it is. | 要是在古代我们会做 可惜不是 |
| [20:57] | why are you so hung up on the age that we’re living in? | 为什么你这么执着于生活在什么年代 |
| [21:00] | Just barter with me, take the oil. | 就跟我换得了 拿好油 |
| [21:02] | Look what happens when I try to put this olive oil | 你看 我把橄榄油放到收银机里 |
| [21:04] | in the cash register. Look, doesn’t fit. | 根本放不进去嘛 |
| [21:07] | I don’t have a tray the size of this bottle of olive oil. | 就没有橄榄油瓶大小的钱匣 |
| [21:11] | – Do I? – You’re just being a jerk at this point. | -我能怎么办 -你这方面真是个笨蛋 |
| [21:15] | Guys, I’m starting to get a little worried about Tim. | 伙计们 我开始有点担心小炯了 |
| [21:17] | Ah, Tim’s fine. Let’s hear your story. | 小炯不会有事的 讲讲你的故事吧 |
| [21:20] | You know, I don’t think I’ve ever even heard this story. | 说实话 我还真没听过你是怎么失贞的 |
| [21:21] | Amy’s gonna describe herself having sex. Shut up! | 小美要讲她是怎么滚床单的了 不是吧 |
| [21:24] | I actually haven’t even ever told Tim this, but um, | 其实我还没跟小炯说过这事 但是 |
| [21:28] | – I lost my virginity to him. – Really?! | -我的第一次给了小炯 -真的 |
| [21:32] | I wanna lay you down | *我要你躺下来* |
| [21:38] | Rub it in between | *搓搓小小鸟* |
| [21:39] | So do you believe in soulmates? | 你相信灵魂伴侣这一说吗 |
| [21:42] | I sure as heck do. | 我绝对相信有 |
| [21:47] | You’re like Katherine Heigl in that story. | 你就跟凯瑟琳·海格尔演的傻妞一样 |
| [21:49] | – It was really romantic. – Look who’s home. | -真的很浪漫的 -看看谁回家了 |
| [21:52] | Hey, Tim. | 嘿 小炯 |
| [21:55] | – Timmy. – 10 minutes flat. | -小炯子 -刚好十分钟 |
| [21:56] | – Where’s jenga? – I had a change of heart. | -积木呢 -我心意易变 |
| [21:58] | I didn’t get the game. I just instead… | 我没买积木 而是买了 |
| [22:01] | Thought you might like this Gourmet olive oil. | 我觉得你们会喜欢这个美食家牌橄榄油 |
| [22:03] | That’s so nice. But random. | 太有爱了 但是也太随意了点吧 |
| [22:06] | – Thank you. – Yeah, well, you know, it’s just– it’s for you. | -谢谢 -你懂的 是 为你买的 |
| [22:08] | Yeah, we don’t need jenga anyway. | 就是 反正我们也不需要积木 |
| [22:09] | We’re playing how did you lose your virginity? | 我们在玩讲讲你的第一次 |
| [22:12] | That’s a probing question, that’s not a game, that’s– | 这个问题很犀利啊 这又不是什么游戏 |
| [22:14] | – Come on, Tim. – All right, fine. | -快讲啦 小炯 -好吧 讲就讲 |
| [22:17] | It’s actually a pretty good story. | 其实是很好的故事 |
| [22:19] | It was my homecoming weekend | 在我大二那年的 |
| [22:20] | of sophomore year at college. | 同学聚会周末上 |
| [22:23] | And I was pledging a frat. | 当时我正处在兄弟会的试用期 |
| [22:27] | Okay, little dudes, | 好了 小盆友们 |
| [22:28] | welcome to the annual Dick Bonington’s Humpathon. | 欢迎来到一年一度的鸡鸡兄弟会年会 |
| [22:32] | Any pledge who can nail five women in one weekend | 任何预备会员只要能在这个周末上五个妞 |
| [22:35] | is granted automatic admission. | 就能自动入会 |
| [22:37] | Gentlemen, start your boners. | 先生们 开始硬起来吧 |
| [22:40] | – Dick Bonington’s what?! – Humpathon. | -鸡鸡兄什么 -兄弟会 |
| [22:43] | Trust me, this story comes around in the end. | 相信我 这个故事结局很美妙的 |
| [22:45] | Uh, so that afternoon, I lost my virginity | 所以下午呢 我就失去童贞了 |
| [22:48] | to a woman named Brenda who worked at the cafeteria. | 和一个在食堂上班叫布兰达的大妈滚了下床单 |
| [22:51] | And later that night, double-teamed two sorority girls. | 当晚 又上了俩女大学生联谊会的妹子 |
| [22:54] | It’s kind of sloppy, but counted twice. | 有点淫荡 但是算两次哟 |
| [22:56] | – Hey now… – Technically, Amy was #4, | -现在我们 -严格来说小美是第四个 |
| [22:59] | but I knew I was in love. | 但我知道我遇上了我的真爱 |
| [23:00] | I told the frat I was quitting the contest | 我告诉兄弟会的人说我退出比赛 |
| [23:02] | ’cause I didn’t wanna go through with the fifth. | 因为我不想再上第五个妹子了 |
| [23:04] | Wow, that’s romantic as shit. | 这也太他妈浪漫了吧 |
| [23:06] | I’m disappointed, but I understand. | 我很失望 但我理解 |
| [23:08] | Dick Bonington would have been proud. | 鸡鸡兄弟会会为你骄傲的 |
| [23:10] | Thank you, that’s really nice of you to say. | 谢谢 你这么说真好 |
| [23:11] | I don’t even know what I just said. I’m fucked up as all hell. | 我都不知道我刚才说啥了 我嗨翻了 |
| [23:15] | I– I knew I was in love. Isn’t that romantic? | 我当时就知道我恋爱了 是不是很浪漫 |
| [23:18] | I’m just gonna go out on a limb here | 我要先出去透透气 |
| [23:20] | and say no– not romantic, | 而且我要说不 不浪漫 |
| [23:22] | Tim. | 小炯 |
| [23:24] | Amy, hey, what are you– | 你 你在说什 |
| [23:27] | What am I missing here? I did not go through with the fifth | 我错过什么了吗 我没上第五个妞 |
| [23:29] | – ’cause I was in love– With the fourth. | -因为我和第四 -第四个恋爱了 |
| [23:32] | – No one sees the romance? – If it’s any consolation, | -没人觉得浪漫吗 -你赢了比赛 |
| [23:35] | – you win this contest. – Oh wow, 20 bucks. | -就算是安慰吧 -二十块啊 |
| [23:39] | You’re never coming back for game night, are you? | 你以后再也不来参加游戏之夜了 是吧 |
| [23:40] | No. | 再也不来了 |
| [23:42] | This is why I play jenga. | 所以我说玩积木嘛 |
| [23:44] | These shabby shoes I’m wearin’ all the time | 麻衣破鞋伴着我 |
| [23:48] | is full of holes and nails | 走过风雨许多年 |
| [23:53] | And,brother,if I stepped on a worn out time | 倘若踩到五角币 |
| [23:56] | I bet a nickel I could tell you if it was heads or tails | 五分赌它正或反 |
| [24:01] | I’m not gonna worry wrinkles in my brow | 满脸褶子不用愁 |
| [24:05] | ’cause nothing’s ever gonna be alright nohow | 天掉馅饼是空想 |
| [24:09] | No matter how I struggle and strive | 发愤努力白劳碌 |
| [24:13] | I’ll never get out of this world alive | 老天从来不赏光 |